Chapter Text
Buck got dressed in his civies after taking a warm shower. He bid goodbye to the firehouse and left the station heading back to his loft. It was never home to him. That was Eddie's place, even though lately Eddie has been pulling away.
Eddie had started dating Marisol, a girl they helped on a call. Ever since then their Buckley-Diaz weekly dinners and movie nights had been canceled so he could be with her. Buck tried not to sulk but knowing he was in love with Eddie didn't help. He knew he'd get over him eventually but he needed a way to distance himself from the Diaz's.
What he didn't know was that a situation was about to show itself.
Getting to his apartment building Buck grabbed his bag and headed inside. He decided his muscles were too tired to climb the stairs so he took the elevator. When he heard the ding he grabbed his bag that he set on the floor and walked to his door while pulling out his key.
As soon as he walked in he knew something was wrong. Whatever relationship he and Natalia had was over. By the door was a box packed with all her stuff she kept over at his place. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water in front of her clasped together hands and she was frowning.
"Hey. Is everything alright?" Buck asked as he walked towards the table after setting his bag down.
"Not really. I thought the more time we gave 'us' everything would work out. But as more time goes by the more I realize it's just not meant to be between us. I was at the doctor's this morning. And they told me something that I don't want." Natalia shrugged not wanting to say more.
Buck was finally sitting next to her and was scared of what could be wrong with her. "Whatever it is Nat I'll be here for you."
"I know you would. I'm pregnant. I tried to have an abortion but after the ultrasound they found I was about 17 weeks along already, so it's too late for a safe one. I have never wanted kids. So, you can either choose to take care of her or she's going to be put up for adoption." Natalia recites almost robotically.
"It's a girl?" Buck questioned stunned.
"We think so but she was moving around too much during the ultrasound for confirmation."
"Yes. I'll take custody. I've always wanted to be a father." He couldn't help but think of Christopher and Eddie. He loved Chris like his own but he's not and Buck needed to remember that.
"I'm pretty sure you already are a dad." Natalia says. "You may not share genetics but you're already a dad. She will be lucky to have you. I'm going to go back to my place. I'll let you know when and where my appointments are so you can come but I live on the other side of the city so it'll be a bit of a drive for you."
"No, I'll just move over there or rent something closer to you for during the pregnancy." Buck was already mentally figuring out places he could look at.
"Then you'll have to drive forever to get to and from work." She pointed out.
"I can transfer stations for a while. It's not like I have much holding me to the 118 anymore. I'll still see Chim because he's engaged to my sister, but I haven't really seen anyone outside of work in months. I want to be there for you and the baby."
"Alright. Well I should take off. I put the first ultrasound pictures upstairs on your nightstand. I'll text you when I get home." Natalia said as she stood up and walked to the door grabbing her box of belongings.
"Hey Nat? I'm really grateful you're giving me this opportunity to have a family. Knowing we want such different things in life...the past 10 months have been great I'm happy I got to know you." Buck says sincerely.
"I'm glad to have gotten to know you too." Natalia smiled and kissed Bucks cheek then turned and left.
Buck turned all the downstairs lights off and climbed his stairs and quickly stripped down to his underwear. After locating the ultrasound pictures he stared at the grainy image of his child. He teared up with joy. Finally, someone he could love that wouldn't leave him.
He didn't really sleep deciding that he needed to figure out how to afford a new place to live and buy all the new baby stuff he would need. He needed to figure out if he still had a place with the rest of the 118. Eddie was shutting him out for his new girlfriend and apparently Tommy. Hen and Karen had finally adopted their little girl and were working on bonding with her. Chim and Maddie were planning their wedding but were being very secretive about it and haven't really talked to him outside of work. The only people he's spoken with were Bobby and Athena. He was grateful to his surrogate parents and wished they were his real parents and his kids grandparents. Buck knew that no matter where he goes they will always be his parents and his kids grandparents.
After laying in bed trying to nap for a few hours he got up. He texted Eddie to see if he could go over when Chris got out of school to share his news but didn't get a response. He thought they were supposed to be best friends and share everything with each other. Maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe he was just a placement holder until someone better came along. I mean he did this when he started dating Ana as well.
He decided to check his mail and run to the nearby Cafe for coffee and croissants. He noticed there was a big envelope from some lawyers office in Pennsylvania. He didn't know anyone except for Margaret and Phillip there now. He decided to open it while he was having brunch.
Law Offices of Simon, Johnson and Greer
Buck didn't know anyone from his time there with those last names. So he opened it up and started reading. The more he read the more his jaw dropped.
Mr. Evan Buckley,
My name is Kim Johnson and I was the lawyer for your grandparents Elaine and Jack Buckley. Sadly, they passed away when you were about 5 years old. After your brother, Daniel, got sick they didn't agree with your parents choice to have you to save him. Because of that disagreement your parents pulled away from your grandparents and the rest of your family and forbade any contact between you and them. They made notes of their neglect towards you and were going to fight for custody of you. Unfortunately, they were killed in a tragic accident shortly after your fifth birthday. I'm not sure if you're aware but they were wealthy and they owned part of the Hershey company. They left everything they owned to you. So you now own part of the Hershey company as well as all their earnings plus the built up interest from over the years. Everything is in a storage facility currently but can be shipped to you at your earliest convenience. I have the bank information for you as well. At the writing of this letter the current balance of the account is $16,849,562.37 and is growing rapidly. If you could please contact me at your earliest convenience to settle this the better. Again, my apologies about your grandparents they were good people as well as your aunts and uncles. Have a great day.
Sincerely,
Kim Johnson
Buck was floored. He was a millionaire. He had more family out there. They were forbidden from seeing him. Other people that may have wanted him. He wondered if Maddie remembered them. He decided to ask her via text.
Hey Mads, do you remember our grandparents or any other relatives we may have had?
Buck waited a few minutes and nothing happened. No appearing and disappearing dots to say she was typing. No notification that the message had even been read. So he closed out to check if Eddie had finally responded. He hadn't. Not even a 'sorry man were hanging with Marisol tonight' not even a notification that it's been read either. So, Buck did what he does best he spirals for all of thirty seconds and then he decides to go pay his parents a visit. By that he means Bobby and Athena.
The drive is not as bad as it usually is. The entire drive he is silently freaking out about everything that's happened the whole day so far. He doesn't know how to tell Bobby and Athena about it all, but he really needs someone to talk. It used to be Eddie before he started shutting him out for his new girlfriend and new best friend. He can't afford to be bitter about it, not right now. He knows he needs to switch houses, at least for the duration of the pregnancy. He'll need to find a house, something with at least 2 bedrooms. But the question is: should he look for around the 118, a different station within the LAFD, or change states? He wouldn't have to go too far. San Francisco, Seattle, Texas, Nevada, or even Arizona. Hell, he has more family in Pennsylvania he could meet them and love them and decide to move closer to them. All within a few hours plane ride. He thinks talking to Bobby and Athena will be very beneficial to helping him decide.
As he knocks on the door he takes a deep breath. He can do this. He can talk to his pseudo-parents and let them help him. No matter where he goes he will always have them.
"Buck, what's going on?" Bobby says after he opens the door to see him on their doorstep.
"I really need to talk to you and Athena. It's kind of really important." Buck says as his hands holding the letter from the lawyer shake minutely.
Bobby doesn't say anything just grabs him by the shoulder and brings him into the house. Athena sees they have company and expects everyone to show up afterwards.
"Everything okay baby?" She asks Buck.
"Not really. I've had a lot of stuff thrown my way today and I need your advice and maybe even Bobby's help." His voice shook as he spoke.
"Alright, well we're always here to help. What's got you so shaken up?" Athena responds as she grabs one of Bucks hands.
"Well, I guess first is that I'm going to be a dad. When I walked into the loft this morning Natalia was sitting at the kitchen table and she had her things packed. I knew she was going to leave me. I wasn't with her for the right reasons."
"Oh, I think you'll be alright without her. You seemed like you were changing who you were to be who she wanted." Bobby says.
"Yeah, I was. I dated her because I thought she saw me after the lightning strike. Turns out she just saw the death aspect and thought it was cool. Anyway, after walking into the loft she told me that she had been at the doctor's office the day before and found out she was pregnant. I mean we always used condoms and she said she was on the pill, but I've never seen her take a pill around me. She said she was going to have an abortion but the ultrasound detected she was too far along for a safe one. She's already around 17 weeks. The doctor said it looks like maybe a girl but she was moving around too much to be sure. She goes back in three weeks for her 20 week ultrasound and we should know then, officially at least." Buck just kind of word vomited to his parents.
"Wow. Just...wow. Congratulations Buck. You're going to make a great dad, I mean you already are one." Bobby says to his eldest.
"I was the donor, I'm not the dad." Buck says glumly.
"I don't mean to baby Evan. I mean to Christopher."
"I'm not his dad either. In fact I haven't seen him in a couple of months. Since Eddie started dating Marisol basically. Our weekly Buckley-Diaz movie nights and weekly dinners have been canceled so he could be with her. Most recently since the cruise rescue Eddie has been hanging out with Tommy and I haven't seen him or spoken to him outside of work in weeks. The only way I'm his father is if Eddie dies, unless he's already so in love with her or instant besties with him he's changed his will." Bucks eyes start watering. Bobby and Athena share a glance over Bucks shoulder.
"When did he put you in his will Buck?" Athena asks gently.
"He said he did it after the well incident, but he didn't tell me about it until after the shooting as we were getting ready to head home. I mean as I was driving him to his home."
"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Athena asks already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, I am. Him and Chris are probably the loves of my life. It's never going to happen though. Eddie is straight and will never love me like that. Which leads me to another thing I needed help with. I need to switch stations." He could see them gearing up to fight him about it so he steamrolled right over them. "I haven't spoken to anyone outside of the station in a couple of months. I mean Hen I understand because of her new baby, but not even Chimney talks to me outside of work. I haven't even heard from my own sister. The only people I've seen or spoken too are you guys. I need to be closer to her place for the duration of the pregnancy. I was thinking the 133 under Captain Mehta could work. I've worked with him before and the station is within minutes of her place. Afterwards, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Stay there, or come back. I mean hell I could even go somewhere not Los Angeles. San Francisco or San Diego or Seattle. I need to do what's best for my kid and I think introducing them to people that are only temporary will only hurt more in the long run."
"Oh baby, we're not temporary." Athena says as she sees how sad Buck is.
"No, I know you guys aren't. It's the rest of the team I'm worried about. I have more family out there. Actual biological family that Margaret and Phillip forbade from ever seeing me. They didn't agree with what they put on my shoulders at such a young age. I need to reach out, but I would like it if you would be there when I meet them. I know at least one set of grandparents have passed away but I'm not sure of anything else."
"How do you know about them? Did Maddie tell you?" Bobby asked confused.
"No. I texted her asking about them but I have yet to hear back from her. Here," Buck hands the letter from the lawyer over for them to read, "this letter from a lawyer in Pennsylvania was in my mail from yesterday or today." Buck sits quietly while they read and reread the letter.
"You...you're a millionaire. You read that number right? That's sixteen million dollars. Almost seventeen million. You can never work again." Bobby said almost absent-mindedly before he realized what he said and insisted, "I mean as a single father if you wanted to. But I would miss you terribly."
"Yeah. I really used to enjoy work. I miss feeling like we were a family. I want to introduce my baby to uncle Ravi and uncle Chim. If it's a girl she'll need her aunt Maddie, aunt May, aunt Hen and aunt Karen. I'm just not sure right now that's what we are."
"How about this; you schedule the transfer for the duration of her pregnancy and throughout it we can all work on making amends and becoming a better family. If we prove we are you come back to the 118 and find a place around here to live. If we don't prove we're the family you and your baby deserves you can stay at the other firehouse or transfer to somewhere semi-close so we can at least stay in your life." Athena comes up with the best plan. Buck knew the reason he came to them was because she always has the best plans but he also knew they knew how to help calm him down, and he was right.
"That might actually work. I'd be ok with that. Bobby can that work, at least for now?"
"Yeah, I can do the paperwork tomorrow while you're off and have you come in and sign it. Then take your turnouts with you and you'll show up there for your next scheduled shift." Bobby decided.
"Alright, well I need to go. I don't know if he's home or not but I need to stop at Eddie's place. I need to collect my stuff I keep over there. I also need to put it out there that my loft will be for rent, or even for sale. With my inheritance I don't really need the income of renting it. I do need to get ahold of the lawyer though and maybe take a trip there to sign papers. Maybe we could make a trip there to meet my biological aunts and uncles?" He phrased like a question.
"Yeah, give us a little time, maybe a couple weeks, and we can get the time off. Why don't you go do what you need to and you can come by the station tomorrow morning to sign the papers for your transfer." Bobby assured him.
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow and thanks for listening to me." Buck says as he gets up to leave. He hugs them with them both giving him congratulations.
The drive to Eddie's place was almost stressful. Because of the traffic it took forever, it didn't help that he stopped back by the loft to grab everything of Eddie and Christophers-including everything they have given to him through the years. He had plenty of time to think and spiral.
He noticed Eddie's truck in the driveway and a second car he didn't recognize. He got out and grabbed the duffle bag and box of their belongings and walked to the door. He debated between knocking and just using his key but he hasn't had to knock in years so he used his key.
"Eddie? Chris? I got some news I need to share with you." Buck said as he took off his shoes and jacket.
Eddie walked towards the front doorway wearing a confused frown. "Buck? What are you doing here? We didn't have anything planned today."
"Did you forget your phone at work or lose it on a scene?" Buck asked instead. He was losing patience with being replaced, especially after Eddie promised he'd never leave him.
"No. You know I didn't. What's this about?" Eddie looked irritated now.
"Receive any text messages lately?" Buck continues his line of questioning to find out how much his supposed 'best friend' doesn't care about him anymore.
"No, Buck I haven't. What is going on that you didn't knock? And what are those with you?" Eddie's patience was apparently gone. Someone moved behind Eddie and Buck noticed Tommy standing by the couch in the living room. It hurt that he wasn't even invited to hang with both men.
"I texted you today Eddie. Good to know I'm nothing but a temporary placement holder to you. I also haven't had to knock to enter this place since you were a probie. That was six years ago." Buck was really getting frustrated.
"Well I'd like it if you knocked from now on." Eddie says as he rolls his eyes making Bucks heart hurt even more.
"You know what? You don't even have to worry about me coming over ever again." Buck started taking Eddie's house key off his key ring. "You mine as well give it to your knew badass best friend since I was so easily replaced." Buck walked over and gave it to Tommy.
"Buck stop being so dramatic." Eddie sighed.
"Yeah, apparently that's all I'm good at, right? Being dramatic, making everything about myself. You promised me you would never leave me. How does it feel to break your promises?" Bucks eyes shine with tears he didn't want to let fall in front of either man. He walked to the table by the door and grabbed Eddie's key ring taking off the key to the loft. "I texted you asking to see you and Chris this afternoon because I needed to talk to my best friend. But apparently I'm not a part of your lives or your family anymore. Well, I'm leaving the 118. Whether permanent or temporary I'm not sure yet but I think it's gonna be permanent." Buck finally turned around and Eddie looked pissed.
"You're just walking away, again. You are a piece of work you know that. You're still that exhausting, selfish guy you used to be, you haven't changed a bit." Eddie spit out at him. He knew they would never be the same after this.
"Yeah, I figured you really believed that about me. You haven't apologized for it, ever. Well, this has been fun but I have a loft to go sell, papers to sign and a new place to find. Maybe a new state to move to once my kid is born." Buck nodded and walked to put his shoes on and grab his jacket.
"What the hell do you mean once your kid is born?" Eddie spluttered looking shocked.
"Well when I got home this morning my ex girlfriend broke up with me in the same breath she used to tell me she was pregnant and was already too far along for an abortion. Hence why I needed to speak to my best friend that I don't have anymore. So, thanks for nothing." Buck was pissed at how Eddie was acting and once he finished speaking he walked out the door. He heard Eddie calling his name but he just got in his car and left. He was done being left behind or replaced. His child deserved better than that, and frankly, so did he.
Once back at his loft he spent an hour breaking down crying. He couldn't believe it. The whole team, plus Maddie promised he wouldn't be like Red. They were all liars, all except for Bobby.
Maddie was supposed to never leave him again. That went out the window when she left for Boston. Once her and Chimney came back she promised again that she would never leave again. Apparently she's not great at keeping her promises.
Eddie promised he would never leave and never take Christopher away, he lied. He's probably already changed his will to add either Marisol or Tommy as the recipient. Maybe they were never a family like they said.
He dwelled on his loneliness while he cried. He was sick of being replaced and left by the people that were supposed to love him. He didn't want to stay in L.A. anymore. He knew he was acting on his emotions and that was rash, but he couldn't handle anymore. He really needed to schedule an appointment with Dr. Copeland.
After he dried up his tears he decided to call the lawyer from this letter. Once they got their niceties out of the way he found out Kim was married to one of his uncles. He asked about setting something up for him to meet the family. She said to give it a couple weeks and they could plan something. She emailed him copies of the paperwork for him to sign electronically and then they hung up.
Buck began packing up things he didn't use on a daily basis to get a head start for moving. He did that until he was able to go to sleep for the night.
The next morning he got a hold of Dr. Copelands office to schedule an appointment for later that day. He made his coffee and breakfast and sat at the island on a barstool and just looked at his food. He didn't really have an appetite but he knew he needed to eat something. He couldn't afford to not take care of himself, especially since he was going to be a single father within six months time.
After eating a very small portion of eggs and drinking two cups of coffee he showered and changed into jeans and a T-shirt. As he was walking back downstairs his phone went off. He noticed it was a text from Bobby.
Hey Buck just wanted to let you know I'm at the station already and the paperwork just needs your signature. I spoke with Mehta and he's fine with the temporary placement so starting tomorrow you'll report to the 133. See you soon
He grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and locked up as he left. The drive was quick because he didn't live far from the station.
Walking in he noticed the trucks were gone. He assumed they were on a call. He walked straight to the stairs that led to the loft and the captains office. He knew this was going to be a heavy conversation.
"Hey Bobby." He said as he knocked on the door.
Bobby looked up and smiled gesturing for him to enter. "How was your night?" Bobby asked as he grabbed the right papers from the desk in front of him.
"It was alright. Not really. It was terrible." Buck couldn't lie to Bobby, especially with that patented 'dad look'. "Eddie is, I don't even think I know who he is anymore. He gave me a key during his probationary year and told me I never needed to knock when I went over because I wasn't a guest. So when I showed up last night he told me he'd prefer it if I knocked from now on. Which, whatever. I can knock it's no big deal. But he asked why I was over there in the first place. I asked him about his phone and whether he's gotten any texts recently and he said no. I had to tell him I had texted him that morning. He was just unlike himself and then someone moved behind him and it ended up being Tommy. So, I took the key to his house off my key ring and gave it to Tommy. Figured he'd need it more than me. Eddie told me to stop acting dramatic. When I got frustrated and angry at him I told him about switching stations for a little while. He called me selfish and exhausting yet again. So I dropped the baby/breakup bomb on him and then I left. I haven't heard from him since. So I'm thinking this will be a permanent move away from here. I'm just not sure yet. I have an appointment with Dr. Copeland this afternoon so hopefully she can help me not make any rash decisions. Also, I signed the papers electronically with the lawyer. She's married to one of my uncles apparently. She said to give it a couple weeks before I go to visit and meet the family. So that'll fall on your four days off weekend. You wouldn't even have to use any PTO days." Buck just kind of word vomited as he signed the transfer paperwork.
"Well, no matter what happens Athena and I are here for you Buck. We'll go meet your biological relatives and we'll whip this family into shape too." Bobby says as he stands and gives Buck a hug.
"Thanks dad." Buck doesn't believe what he just said and goes stiff in Bobby's arms. He's afraid he's just ruined his relationship with him. But Bobby just hugs him tighter.
"You will always be my son. Just let me know and we can sort out the paperwork for that too." He says sincerely.
Buck pulled back shocked. "You'd actually want to have me as a son?"
"Of course I do Buck. So does Athena. You've been my kid since you walked into the 118 and made me believe I deserved a second chance at happiness and family. We thought you were working on a relationship with Margaret and Philip, that's the only reason we haven't talked to you about us adopting you legally."
"I'm not. Working on a relationship with them that is. After the lightning strike they tried to control me and were trying to force me into a different job. They stopped going to therapy with me. I'm too much for them. They finally admitted that they blame me for Daniels death. So I decided I'll be cordial to them around Maddie but otherwise there's nothing between me and them. They're never going to know my kid or anymore that I may have in the future. You and Athena are the only grandparents my kids will need. And if you both do want me, then maybe we can look into doing that?" Buck phrased like a question at the end unsure of himself.
"Great. Athena has this lawyer friend that was working on drawing up the paperwork already. She said it could be ready to sign in about a week. And since it's an adult adoption it doesn't even have to go in front of a judge. We just sign it and she files it and then within a couple weeks every important document will be sent with your new name and everything." Bobby says smiling like he's won the lottery, and in a way he has. He never thought he deserved to find happiness again, or get to raise his kids. Buck helped him, saved his life really, and he'll always be grateful for him.
"Alright, just tell me when and I'll come sign it. I need to clean out my locker and grab my gear. My appointment with Copeland is in an hour and a half." Buck said teary eyed.
"Alright, then get home safe and I'll be checking in on you. We want news on our first grandkids when she has appointments." Bobby said smiling like a crazy person.
"You got it pops." Buck says. He hugs Bobby once more and then exits the office to gather his things while there's no one at the station.
Leaving was one of the hardest things he ever did. He knew he couldn't stay. He needed to be there for his unborn baby in a way his parents had never been there for him. He also knew he couldn't work with Eddie right now. After their fight he didn't think he could ever look at him again without getting angry or disappointed. This firehouse has been his home for the past seven years. Through the good days and the bad. He has many treasured memories here. He'll miss it but he also knows this is for the best.
Once he exits the locker rooms he grabs his turnouts and exits the building. Putting everything in his trunk he turns back once more to see the firehouse he loves and whispers a single 'goodbye' as he gets in the driver seat and starts the car with tears in his eyes. After wiping his eyes to clear the tears he pulls out of the parking lot for the last time.