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1
“Wow, yeah you guys were right this is awesome” Kevin’s sighs settling on the left side of the hot tub opposite from Neil and Andrew. “We didn’t say anything.” The redhead responded blinking. Kevin just waved them off.
Per Allison’s invite the foxes had flown a plane to Hawaii and were now currently staying at a five star resort for the next couple of weeks this summer. However they had arrived just the other day and had already done so many things, that they all just decided to check out what the resort had to offer.
So here they were.While the rest of the foxes played around in the pool him and Andrew—oh wait and Kevin, sat basking in the warmth of the jacuzzi. Neil’s legs hovering overs Andrew’s lap as his boyfriend leaned back, eyes closed relaxing in the sunlight. He looked beautiful, Neil noted as he played with the man’s hands peacefully. Well, until Allison goes to join them, that’s when Kevin stands and tells her to pass him. The blonde raises an eyebrow but moves to sit next to Neil on his right side. “You afraid they have cooties or something?” Allison said flipping her long hair over her shoulder. Neil questioned how she managed to keep it looking so nice despite all the chlorine ‘Boa Boa Sunshine’ probably puts in their pools. Neil couldn’t complain though, the rooms were remarkably clean and the walls were nice and thick.
“No,” Kevin scoffed. “I just like it here.” He said copying Allison’s motion and running a hand through his black hair. In response the woman just huffed adjusting her tropical flowery bikini thing and leaning back. (Neil knew nothing about bathing suits and just stole Andrew’s) However, her top, and her bottom looked very likely to fall off given the fact they were tied on her, probably not very tightly too. Neil was about to ask her, when Kevin shifted and let out a yelp. Andrew opens a hazel eye and Neil looked up from the blonde’s soft hands. “What is it?” He asked.
Allison stood and immediately let out a snort he thought he’d never hear from the woman in the whole time he’d know her. “Oh my god!” She cackled. Andrew leaned forward. “Allison!” Kevin hissed.
“Guys!” She called out to the foxes. “Guys, the jacuzzi stole Kevin’s undies!” The groups screams disrupted everybody around them as they jumped up and ran toward them. “Allison, Allison this is not funny they’re really gone!” Kevin held his hands over his junk. Andrew wore an amused look. Dan and Matt pulled up cackling whilst Renee stepped in and put her fingers in the jet searching for Kevin ‘undies’ That’s when Neil noticed Aaron and Katelyn giggling off to the side. Renee pulled her fingers out of the jet and left. “You want to go next?” Teased Allison making a scissor with her perfectly gel manicured hand. “ Allison !” Kevin squealed voice high pitched and cracking and face flushing.
Everybody burst into laughter.
“It’s not fucking funny!”
Everybody laughs again.
“Sorry bud, this is hilarious, look at yourself! Everybody’s laughing” Matt said.
“I can see!” Kevin says redder than a tomato.
“And—and—“ The man looks around frantically. “They aren’t laughing.” This is when Renee reappeared holding a towel. “Here you go Kevin.” Everybody burst back into laughs.
“Well—“ Dan says in between laughs, “Well, they don’t find anything funny.” Neil frowns.
“That’s not true.” He said.
“It just wasn’t that funny.” Andrew shifts leaning his head on Neil’s shoulder. “Would’ve been more entertaining if they ripped and fell on the slide.” Said Andrew pulling his phone and snapping a picture.
More laughs and wheezes.
“Oh fuck you all!”
—
2
“She’s so cute!” Nicky said petting the animal from outside the cage with his finger just barely fitting through the small bars. “What is it?” Neil said crouching down in front of the cage and staring at the brown and white mouse looking animal munching on some seeds, or its own shit, Neil didn’t know.
“She is a hamster.” Nicky said wearing a cheeky smile. “I named her after Erik because when she eats her cheeks get stuffed and it reminds me of when I used to go to go eat spicy chicken wings with Erik and he would get those same stuffed cheeks.” The man said wiping away a fake tear. Neil just furrowed his brows. “Erik…the hamster?”
“No!” Nicky laughed, “Hot stuff.”
“Ugh.” Aaron grumbled from his place on the couch playing Resident Evil, Andrew by his side watching and making unhelpful commentary. “Careful brother, he might scoop the things shit into your cereal when you aren’t looking.” Nicky quirked his eyes brows. “Excellent idea Andrew! Will do.” Neil snorted.
“I hate you all.” Aaron said as his character died for the fifth-ninth time. “Can we watch a movie?” Neil asked, “It’s getting boring just watching you be shit at this game.”
“Especially you Josten,” Aaron said, “I hate you the most.” Neil rolls his eyes. Andrew stretches back and extends his arm around his brother to snatch the control and change the HDMI. “Andrew!” The blonde ignores his twin as he clicked through Netflix. Neil just smiles walking away from Nicky and Hot stuff and grabbing a blanket before settling on the couch next to his boyfriend.
It only takes five minutes for Neil to get interrupted by his phone vibrating. He groans pulling it out from under his butt
Matt: What are you doing? Are you at the court?
Neil: No, Kevin is though. Watching a movie.
The redhead sends his reply and tosses the cursed thing on the coffee table leaning his head on the couch cushion next to him as he watched Rio for the tenth time since Andrew realized it was Neil’s favorite movie. It was getting to the point where Neil could resite the lines from memory and act out the scenes, but somehow it never got boring, not with Andrew. The blonde tugged lightly on his hair and Neil switched to lay his head on his shoulder, abandoning the couch cushion.
“Neil.” Nicky said, another weight settling on the couch next to Andrew. “Do you want to hold her?” He offered Hot stuff to him. Neil thought about declining, but then changed his mind. Hot stuff the hamster was kind of cute. “Okay.” Neil took the rodent in his arms and leaned back against Andrew. It wasn’t until he was warm and calm that he begun to notice how worn out he was from practice, and how tired Andrew’s comfortable shoulder was making him.
He ended up falling asleep, dreaming of only his favorite things. Fruit, peeled fruits specifically, midnight sorbet, birds, eyebrow piercings, blonde hair, brown eyes, Andrew. Whiskers on cats, Cats, Dark chocolate, coloring books, slow songs, sunsets, rings, when was Andrew going to propose? Neil would like to marry him. Should Neil propose? Getting eloped, exy, sharing milkshakes, Andrew.
When he wakes the living room is significantly more crowded then before. Andrew was now on the right side of the couch while Neil’s head was in his lap, Allison sitting on his left, his feet resting on her lap while she braided Renee’s hair who was sitting at her feet. Nicky was laying in one bean bag and Aaron and Katelyn were squeezed in the other. The rest of the foxes, even Kevin were sprawled on the floor
The credits of Frozen rolled and Allison yawned. How many movies had he slept through? “How long was I asleep?” He asked Andrew. “Two and thirty.” He said without missing a beat. Neil rubbed at his eyes. “Damn.” Weirdly so he felt like he was forgetting something. Neil looked again around the living room. Spotting Dan and Matt chatting along with Kevin, then Katelyn and Aaron whispering and giggling as usual then to Allison, and Renee’s pastel braided hair, then Nicky and—Shit.
Calmly, careful not to alarm anybody he lifted a cushion pretending to re adjust it as he looks under. His hand roaming over the couch fabric. Neil licked his lips nervously. “Neil.” He averted his gaze, still searching.
“I lost the fucking hamster.” He said to Andrew in Russian. Allison turns and makes at face at him
“Hasn’t anybody ever told you it’s rude to speak in another language in front of others?” She laughed mockingly, “oh wait! I did.”
“Okay Ally,” He said, growing more panicked, “Whatever.” The blonde rolls her eyes as she shifts lifting the blanket and—The loudest most high pitched scream he’d ever heard in his life was unleashed right before a loud thud. “What happened?” Neil questions. “A rat! You guys have fucking rats!”
His eyes almost pop out of his skull.
Now it’s Nicky’s turn to stand up and scream. Everybody else jumps up to see the dead corpse and—oh shit, is all Neil can think in the moment.
“She’s dead!” Nicky cries, “You killed Hot stuff.” He held the limp hamster in his hands and Neil put a hand over his gaping mouth. Now Nicky is wiping actual tears and Neil doesn’t know what to do. “It’s a rat.” Allison says.
“SHE! She’s a HAMSTER!” Nicky screams in between sobs. “Neil you were supposed to have her!”
Neil turns to look at Andrew but instead catches Aaron’s gaze as he fails to control his laughter. Katelyn smacks him lightly. It doesn’t help. Dan also seems to be pursing her lips in effort not to let out a wheeze. Matt had already disguised his break into chuckles as a cough too many times.
“Aaron.” Nicky’s says laughing in between his tears, “Aaron it’s not funny a life has been lost.” The blonde laughs even harder and when everybody noticed Nicky was not upset they join in too. Neil kneels down next to Nicky poking Hot stuffs dead body. “You can laugh.” He tells him and Andrew. “It’s funny.” The brown hairs man sniffles.
“No it’s not.” Neil’s frowns. “I killed her.”
Another fit of laughter erupts from the foxes and Neil is starting to question their humor.
—
3
Neil stared at the disaster to come, witnessing the set up of a prank destined to end in chaos, and he said nothing simply flipping through Aaron’s diary and every now and then stopping and showing his boyfriend some nonsense. Andrew by his side, when he wasn’t rolling his eyes at Aaron’s writing, red his book.
In the moment, Matt had Dan on his shoulders as she set up the bag of flour tying it to the cling wrap. Nicky was mastering the arts of scattering dish soap along the floors under the doorway. Andrew and Neil only had one job, play the audio. A pre recorded audio of Jermey Knox screaming. “Kevin!! Come to the living room.” Then given what a fan boy Day was for the Trojans, the assumption was that he’d go nuts and fall right into their prank. So he sat patiently waiting for everything to unravel.
It was almost twenty minutes later that they heard foot steps and Dan, Matt and Nicky all hid in the closet.
The door opens and Andrew clicks play.
“Kevin!! Come to the living room.” Neil snorts as the steps towards the living room speed up and—“What the?” The man stops right in front of the cling wrap and everybody groans.
“Seriously guys?” He examines the doorway. “You thought I’d fall for that?” There was a slam that had the man turning. “Josten!” Aaron screamed. Neil sent a panicked look to Andrew, scrambling to shove the diary under them. Except before Aaron could get in his face and accuse him, he ran into the cling warp, slipping on the dish soap and covering himself in all purpose flour from head to toe.
Kevin stared down at the blonde jaw dropped at him. While the others had jumped out of the closet, phone recoding in hand basically on the floor rolling in laughter. Neil grinned and Andrew, while not laughing, closed his eyes in pursed his lips as he did when trying to hold it back.
Now Neil didn’t anticipate what would happen after the prank was executed, and he was coming to regret it. “Neil!” Aaron growled, jumping onto him screaming in red hot anger.
Now Neil was genuinely scared.
—
4
Andrew didn’t get drunk often. He liked fully being in control of himself, even the slightest feeling of that being taken away made him nauseous.
So Andrew didn’t get drunk often. But that didn’t mean never. Every two months he’d give himself one day to let loose. A day there was no class, practice, or anything. A day where nobody was busy. He’d call Renee up and they’d drink so much so that it made Kevin fearsome. Not that Kevin knew, only Allison and Neil were aware about their every other month trips.
This month unlike the others was exceptionally stressful with more annoying new foxes and the girls gone. Not that Andrew cared, at all…but he had to admit he was bummed that he wouldn’t get black out drunk with Walker this time around.
He wasn’t bummed for long though. Renee texted him, and apparently her and the brat flew all the way from California to make their trip. However, because it was such a hassle for her, Andrew decided that it would instead become a twice a year thing. At least until he graduated and moved closer. Since their next drunk hang out would be in June, they chugged drinks at Eden’s until Roland kicked them out. Andrew didn’t even have the slightest hint of sobriety to be angry about it. They simply got in the cab the bartender had called for them and made the poor Uber driver drive them around the city.
That’s the last thing Andrew remembered. That was the last thing he remembered and Andrew never forgot anything.
He knew they didn’t go home, but he had no idea where they did adventure off too.
Nonetheless, he woke up along side Neil, his face buried in the redheads neck, breathing his boyfriend in. He shifted sitting up and stretching. Neil hummed blinking awake. “Hi babe.” Andrew grimaced. “Baby?”
“No.”
“Love? Honey, Sugar? Handsome. You’re handsome.” Andrew groaned covering his flushed face. “Oh! Oh, Darling.” Andrew lifted the pillow to see Neil grinning “Darlinggggg.” Andrew begun hitting Neil aggressively with the pillow, except he stopped when he felt a pang of pain on the right of his lower stomach. Confused, he tried to remember, knowing it was somewhere in his brain, it had to be.
Once the memory came back to him he had to hold back a gasp. As calmly as he could, trying to keep his unbothered wise nonchalant persona, Andrew jumped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom. “Andrew, what’s wrong?”
Dammit Neil, why’d he have to know him so well?
Andrew lifted his shirt and made a noise, Neil follows him in. “What is it?” His boyfriend said worriedly. Andrew messaged in between his eye brows. “Renee!” He screams out abandoning the persona, knowing that her along with Allison didn’t leave until four in the afternoon.
Neil sent him a look, before Renee, and by extension, Allison entered his room. “Andrew, what’s the matter—oh no.”
“Oh no. That’s what you want to say!”
Renee covers her mouth, for a second in shock. But then she bends over and starts laughing. “I’m literally going to stab you.”
“No—“ She stands up straight. “I’m sorry it’s-“ She bends over again cackling.
“Would you guys like to share with the class?” Allison said leaning against the door in her pink satin pijamas. He ignored her.
“Why would you let me do this!” He told Renee.
“You threatened to stab me! And in my defense, I was too drunk to fight you if you actually tried.”
Andrew lets out a loud exasperated groan. “I’m going to now!” He jumps forward and Neil holds him back. Renee is laughing so hard she doesn’t even acknowledge the threat. “I’m so sorry Andrew, I really am it’s just—“ she laughs. “Too—“ more laughs, “Hilarious.”
“Oh my god what is it!” Neil said looking less confused and more irritated. Andrew yanks back from his grip pulling his shirt up as well as his pants slightly. Showing a subjectively medium sized ‘Neil’ and a heart next to it tattooed on him in a ‘cutesy cursive font’ He distinctively remember his drunken self telling the evil tattoo artist that didn’t even think to refuse service. Allison screams curupted by laughs like her girlfriend. Neil on the other hand looked utterly shocked.
Frozen by how flabbergasted he was.
“Neil.” That’s seemed to unfreeze the redhead, who pulled Andrew into a hug to hide his grin. “Neil—“
“Do you want me to laugh?” He interrupted.
“No.”
“Then shut up and let me hug you.”
—
5
“Just wait.” Aaron said. “This is going to be legendary.” Katelyn pursed her lips. “I don’t know…” the redheaded girl looked nervous. “If this doesn’t make them laugh…I really don’t know what will.” Nicky said dropping the potatoes in the boiling water.
“Laugh?” Aaron grinned, “I can’t wait to see the stupid look on Neil’s face.” He said slicing up the carrots into small, small pieces. “I can’t believe you’re still angry about him reading your diary. That was like a year ago.”
“Nine months,” The blonde snapped, “And it’s a journal. Diaries are for little girls.” Nicky turned offended. “I had a diary when I was little, I think.”
“Very evident.” Responded Aaron. Katelyn snickered. “I actually don’t know why I put up with you two, Neil and Andrew are better.” Nicky complained.
Katelyn and Aaron share a look. “No they’re not.” The couple says at the same time. Nicky grins, “No you’re right They really kind of boring, but at least they’d protect me if I got jumped!”
“I would protect you too!”
“Uh-huh.” Nicky mused putting a lid over the pan. “How?” His cousin crouched down and started talking in a high pitched voice. “Don’t worry Nicky, I’ll save you by—by hitting these villains with my diary!”
“It’s a Journal !”
Katelyn giggled.
“Oh don’t you think you’re safe either!” Nicky puckered his lips, standing up taller. “Sorry Nicholas I don’t wanna break a nail..”
Katelyn gasped, “I would never!”
“Why was Katie taller than me?” Aaron’s brows furrowed. “Because I am—“
A door from across the Columbia house slammed open and Horror settled on Katelyn’s face “I thought we were pranking Neil?”
“We are?” Nicky said.
“That’s doesn’t sound like Neil.”
More slams. “No…it’s doesn’t.” Then the stomping begun. “Aaron.” Katelyn said. “Aaron run.” A feeling settled in his stomach. A bad, bad feeling. “Katie don’t be dramatic.”
“No.” Nicky hissed, “Aaron go!”
Aaron looked at the door jittery, then ran. Going straight for the front door, he had to get far if he wanted to get away from Andrew. He was running through when an arm shot out pushing him back. Nicky made a defeated sound that was cut off by a gasp. Aaron stumbled back to see Neil, hair slightly redder than before, mentally cursing himself for thinking Neil’s stupid red hair would turn pink with dye and no bleach. “Better luck next time.” He says a large grin spread on his mouth.
“Aaron.” He hears his brother say.
“Andrew, it barely looks different—“ He turned to see the blonde—was no longer a blonde. His blondness nowhere to be see. Just bright pink.
Oh yeah, Aaron was going to die.
“Andrew.” His voice shook as his brother approached him. “Andrew it was in accident. I didn’t know you used Neil’s shampoo.” He breathed quicker. “Why were you using Neil’s shampoo?”
“Because I like it.” He grit
“Just like I’m your brother and you love me?”
Andrew’s cold gaze settled on him and he dropped his knife, it clattering loudly on the kitchen floor. “No” Neil stepped out of the way and Aaron broke into a sprint, Andrew right on his tail, growing closer and closer as they ran through the halls. Aaron was so terrified he screamed the whole way around, like a little girl, with a fucking diary.
The chase dragged on so long that they now had an audience. A crowd of people laughing their asses off while Aaron dodged knives and played temple run.
“AHHHHHHHH, ANDREW OH MY GOD, AHHHHHH—STOPAH!”
Aaron got so scared for his life he finally called out. “I’ll dye it!” He screamed gasping for air, “I’ll dye mine too, just ple—stop, just stop!”
Andrew stopped chasing him and Aaron dropped to the floor chest heaving in front of the whole team of foxes who were wheezing. With Neil as an exception who just stood smiling at him triumphantly holding hand on Andrew’s shoulder. Who, while not looking as tired as Aaron, was also catching his breath.
“You’re doing rainbow.”
More laughs.
—
+1
“I want to see the dinosaurs.” Neil said for the about the thirteenth time. “They’re on the fourth floor.” Andrew responded to his boyfriend every time with out fail as he harked down his third soft serve ice cream. “No, we need to see the animals first.”
For once Kevin had won the coin toss and got to pick where the foxes would spend their day, it was especially special because it was the first summer since he went pro and the last one before Andrew did. So, they got together with the girls and Matt for vacations, but now he had to watch Neil and Andrew goofing off and breaking rules in the museum bathrooms or complain about seeing the fucking dinosaur fossils every two fucking minutes.
“We’ll see the dinosaurs after we go to the gift shop, they’re right next to each other.” Allison said and Neil groaned. Kevin didn’t exactly want to buy anything at the gift shop, he did on the contrary want to see animals. Matt casually used Neil’s shoulder as an arm rest. “Don’t worry bud, we’ll get to see em’ soon.” Neil’s raised a brow at him. “I’m not worried?”
Robin leans over and steals a bite of Andrew’s ice cream cone. The blonde—wait no, the pink rolled his eyes, running a hand through his now less neon and more strawberry pink hair. “I want another ice cream cone” He said abandoning his cone in Robin’s hands. “Mines been infected.” Robin smacks his arm, he smacks her back, Neil who clearly feels left out, joins the smack fest.
“Ugh! God!” Kevin shouted, “You guys are a bunch of children!”
They stare
“I just want to see the animals!” He snaps. Once again everybody stares at him awkwardly. “It’s okay, Kevin.” Says Renee a kind smile on her face. “Animals are nice, we can go see the animals.” Now staring at her and Andrew next to each other they really looked similar, with the pastel hair and all. If only Andrew had her personality.
If only.
“But I want—“ Allison starts, “Honey, how about we see the animals first? They’re clearly special to Kevin.” Allison blinks. “Whatever.” She says looping an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders and leading her away. Dan snorts.
Kevin just huffs. “The animals are on the third floor, he dragged the group in the direction of the stair case. “Kevin.” He ignores Matt. “Kevin.” Pause. “Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin—“
“What?!” He yells grabbing every single persons attention on the floor.
“Can we take the elevator?” Kevin takes a look around at the foxes who just stood in silence. “Fine.” He stomped over to the elevator clinking on the up button. The door opens and everybody got in the relatively small elevator. Andrew’s squeezing in front of Neil, while Dan and Matt did something similar, except hugging to save space. Renee, Allison, and Robin moved towards the back of the elevator standing side by side, leaving Kevin with the most space in front of them.
Well, not for long.
“Hold the door, hold the door!” Called out a voice that had Matt extending his hand and keeping the elevator door from closing shut. “Thank you so much!” Said a scrawny brown haired man alongside a bigger ginger girl who seemed to be squirming. The two stood in front of Kevin and together the pair didn’t exactly fit nicely in the small ass elevator. So instead Kevin who used to have the most space, now had the least space and an ass uncomfortably close to him.
Lovely.
The elevator dinged closed and the woman and man began whispering horribly. “Johnny, it hurts.” She whispered loud enough for Robin to make a face. “Johnny I think it was the ice creams—“ Andrew shot Neil a look. The girl was cut off once by her low whimper and then again by letting slip out a fart so loud it could be classified as a gunshot.
Then silence. Kevin wrenched back holding his breath at the stench and looked to his side just in time to see Neil cover his face mouth and Andrew squeeze on his nose right before letting out a mix between and snort and a laugh then instantly covering his face in attempt to hold It back. “Bless you.” Neil says as if Andrew’s laugh sounded even remotely close to a sneeze. But before Kevin could hiss at them to cut it out Neil lets out one of those donkey laughs that sounded like it was frying his vocal cords.
“Stop.” Kevin’s told them, but the poor girl looks so embarrassed and nervous she let it rip again. Andrew and Neil were leaning forward on each other wheezing. At one point he saw Andrew’s face and it was so flushed. The man was laughing so hard Kevin saw tears streaming down his face. Neil wasn’t any better with his donkey laugh, after the second honk he had tried to take a drink of water but took one look at Andrew’s face and spit it out. Through both his mouth and nose. The two were hysterical.
“Guys.” Matt said, “Stop.” But the man was hiding a smile behind his phone filming.
The pair’s laughter had transformed into silent wheezing and slapping of thighs. “Stop!” Neil gasped. “I can’t breathe.” He rasped. Andrew had grabbed the elevator railing crouching down face flushed and eyes filled to brim tears along with what Kevin thought was the biggest smile he’d ever seen on the man’s face. Ever.
The elevator door dinged opens the woman dashed out first sobbing, the man right behind her.
Neil and Andrew didn’t care. They just laughed. Neil and Andrew who didn’t laugh at anything. Neil and Andrew who only laughed at farts.
“Okay, real mature guys.”
The redhead and blonde caught their breath and wiped away their tears. Neil finally sat upright said.
“I think I pissed myself.”