Chapter Text
“I am so damn beautiful!” Jere was looking at himself from all angles for a few minutes already and he still couldn’t help but wonder at his reflection.
“Always have been.” Jesse shook his head mockingly, even though it actually felt nice to watch his friend’s wild joy. He smiled to himself. Visiting the witch turned out to be a brilliant idea. “Will you get dressed soon? We have the whole day ahead of us!”
The promise of upcoming fun was just enough to make him leave the mirror. The undressed rapper started to enthusiastically browse his pile of clothes before he remembered that he was supposed to put on what Jesse was wearing just a moment ago. Laughing at himself he reached for the white pants.
His no longer tall companion returned to the office to discuss some final formalities with the host. He made sure he left the right phone number and grabbed some business cards – just in case.
“When you get bored, just come back!” The witch smiled. “Undoing spells is done for free and without a queue. Just please don’t demand a refund for unused hours.”
“Of course.” Jesse was smiling widely. “Judging by my friend’s reaction, he is more likely to demand a prolonged effect.”
“Height swap is a standard spell, it will dissolve after one hundred hours. You won’t need my help with that. But of course it warms my heart when customers are satisfied. Hope to see you again!” She smiled back at him.
The satisfied customer didn’t have time to answer before he heard his friend desperately calling for him. He excused himself and returned to the dressing room, pulling his sweatpants up on the way. He did not expect them to be this loose. Looks like he will have to borrow a pair from Häärijä when they return to the apartment.
Next room he found his friend helplessly holding his undershirt. Enchanted Jere was not just tall, but also just as well-built as before. Jesse felt a strange twinge, but didn’t think much about it and instead reached into the bag which he cautiously took with him. “Go ahead, pick one.”
Käärijä took a look at shirts from his own merch, then took a look at the mirror, then he thought for a moment and asked with a smirk, “How could you demand from me to cover up this?” He gestured at his torso.
Jesse sighed. “You will not walk around the town half-naked in such weather. If you really need to show off your pecs, then wear this.” he handed him a t-shirt with a printed pre-Eurovision photo, which beautifully captured his tendency to get undressed during gigs. His friend agreed to this compromise.
The rapper took one last look in the mirror and the manager followed his gaze. What a comical pair they were: an outgrown athlete and a thin shortie. They looked so ridiculously different from what they were used to that they both started howling with laughter pointing fingers at each other, unable to control the silliness. This was going to be a good day.
They said goodbye to the host and side by side went towards their hotel. Jere was overjoyed. He kept happily patting the lintels on any door they passed through and even those they just passed by. Jesse knew making an appointment with the witch was a good idea, but he did not expect that being tall could bring this much joy to his friend.
Jere personally knocked on the door of each crew member, eager to see their reaction. Jesse watched all of this with satisfaction while checking the plan for the rest of the day. They had one free day between the shows and the manager wanted to make sure his artist used the few hours of borrowed height to the fullest.
Soon afterwards the whole band went out together. Jere didn’t miss any opportunity to fool around, and even though he was more annoying than usual, none of his colleagues did mind. All of them were highly amused by the sight of the temporarily tall artist.
Along the way they passed a group of buskers performing lively songs and Jere immediately went full Käärijä mode. He reached towards Jaakko asking him to dance, his colleague joined without hesitating and both men went jumping forwards to the delight of the rest of the group and passersby, who must have thought they are drunk.
The dance was neither pretty nor skilled and Jaakko couldn’t stop laughing. When the song ended, Käärijä dramatically scolded his partner, “What’s so funny? Dancing, closeness, cooperation? Are you even treating this seriously? Very funny! You’re fired!” Jaakko laughed even louder and walked to the side.
The band kept playing so Käärijä approached Aleksi and this time it was him twirling around with big boss. For a moment Jesse wanted to stop them since their plan didn’t include longer breaks along the way, but the main goal of the whole plan was to have fun, and this improvised dance party got the friends howling with laughter. Except for the DJ, of course, who kept his poker face throughout the whole song.
Käärijä didn’t break character even for a second. “Allu, why are you so stiff? Are you not having fun? There is no joy in dancing like that. You are fired!” Aleksi thanked him with a bow and quietly joined Jaakko. Seeing this, Jukka didn’t even wait for an invitation and approached the singer himself before the buskers started their next number.
The third Dalton was doing better than his predecessors and after the dance ended, everybody awaited intrigued what Käärijä could possibly criticize this time. The rapper stood in front of his guitarist for a longer while, looking him straight in the eye. Even magically heightened, he was still a few centimeters shorter than Jukka. He stepped back and, with pretended disdain, snapped,
“Jukka! Why are you so tall?! You are fired!”
The guitarist shrugged and joined the other Daltons in patting one another on the back reassuringly, meanwhile Käärijä looked at Jesse.
The manager felt a warning pain in the guts when his friend asked,
“Jeskiedes, you’re my last hope, will you save the crew’s honor?”
He didn’t let him wait long. After nonchalantly walking to him he tried to get into frame, but Käärijä quickly corrected him:
“No, this time I’m leading.”
“You don’t even know how to lead.”
“Quiet, I’m taller, I’m leading.”
Jesse shook his head at his friend’s stubbornness, but then gave in. The rhythm of the music soon led them, but it didn’t add Käärijä any skill he lacked before. The partners kept stepping on each other’s toes and each time Kärtsäri was swearing more creatively. Meanwhile Jesse was laughing, because even though his friend was very annoyed, he also obviously was having way too much fun to actually get angry.
Lovingly touched by Käärijä‘s awkwardness in dance, Jesse tried to seek out his face. He always enjoyed watching his good friend having a good time, this time however the shrunken singer needed to really strain his neck to see him at all.
That unpleasant feeling returned again. With every second he struggled more to enjoy the silly dance. The longer he stared at his partner, the more he wanted to escape – but at the same time, he couldn’t look away.
When their eyes met, Jesse suddenly froze. He felt as if icy needles were sinking into his brain, making him alert, warning of upcoming danger. At the same time his head was overcome with void and doubt. His mind hopelessly tried to figure out who was it right next to him, because despite the familiar face, all the rest did not resemble his friend!
Jesse immediately drowned in shame and embarrassment at such a reaction. Logically he knew it was Jere, he just knew it is Jere the whole time, but emotions kept trying to convince him otherwise.
Good grief! But he still talked like Jere, he still smelled like Jere, he was still Jere! What was that all about?!
Overwhelmed and abashed with his own feelings Jesse couldn’t stand his eyes anymore, he also couldn’t allow his friend to notice his doubt. He instinctively leaned down and hid his face on Käärijä‘s chest, hoping that a familiar smell will be enough to calm him down.
Disheartened by his weakness Jesse let out a hysterical laughter. Luckily Käärijä took that for a cheerful giggle and started laughing himself.
“Yeah, I know, I’m a champion dancer. Watch out, Matti!” joked the rapper and leaned forward to hug him.
Much to Jesse’s relief the song was already over. In the end Käärijä wanted to give him a kiss on the hand, he meanwhile tried to bow, which led to the two of them hitting their heads while their friends burst out laughing.
“What a mess,” admitted Jere, shaking his head.
“A total trainwreck,” agreed Jesse.
“Well thank you for being honest!” Jere laughed and quickly added: „I don’t know about you, but I had a great time.”
Good for you, thought the manager, watching him return to the group. The last thing he needed right now was letting his weird impulses ruin his friend’s mood. As long as Jere was glad, Jesse had no need to worry. Even if he himself was not exactly glad. Suddenly he realized this whole swap thing was not fun anymore.
This was not what he expected when he suggested visiting the witch. Unwittingly, he reached towards the business cards in his pocket.
They can stop any moment.
One look at Jere was enough to make him drop this idea. He was having so much fun, full of energy and stupid ideas. And it was evident he was only getting started.
Jesse sighed and shook his head to shoo away the worries. He might have felt unwell, but he should be able to accompany his friend in this adventure for just one day. After all, he offered himself to take part in that spell.
And if it was Jere’s presence that made him feel this way, then the solution should be staying away from him. This is fine, it’s nothing. It was a pleasure to watch his joy from afar and the sight alone mattered more than any inconveniences.
Besides, downsizing also had its advantages. Ever since his knees stopped pointing in all directions Jesse enjoyed immensely putting them everywhere on purpose. At the restaurant where they went for lunch he was the first one to take a seat on the bench at the wall. It was nice to sit there having Häärijä on one side and Pete on the other. It was easier to hear them in a crowded place with their faces on a similar level. This might have been just an illusion, but he somehow felt closer to the crew than usual.
What is more, Jere stayed on the other end of the table, unwilling to squeeze behind it. At least during the meal there was some distance between them.
After lunch the group went to the arcade. There the truncated manager enjoyed checking out all the gaming machines that came with chairs, delighted to learn just how comfortable they can be. Aura and Mikke one after another kept calling his name whenever they located a new racing simulator.
At the same time Käärijä tried to beat the sport games. To be fair he was always good at them, but it didn’t matter much today. He attributed each score and each record to his arms’ length and bigger than usual reach.
He always loved to win, and today, victory tasted extremely well.
While Jere on the far end of the arcade kept breaking new records and constantly humiliating his friends, Jesse got a phone call from the representatives of the venue where they were supposed to play tomorrow’s gig, and walked away to take care of the matter. To the manager, a day with no show did not mean a day off and he needed to stay alert all the time to ensure the gig goes smoothly.
After the call ended he slowly turned back to the rest of the group, still thinking about work. When he noticed his elongated friend approaching him, he immediately froze.
Feeling his arm hair standing on end he couldn’t understand why that was happening. He shivered strongly and heard the sounds of the machines blend together into unpleasant noise. He knew he wasn't well but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything. To make things even worse, the familiar discomfort returned once again.
Jere stood in front of him holding a big box of popcorn. He seemed a bit hesitant, probably due to his friend’s stern expression.
“I hope I’m not disturbing, but I just won a big snack and thought I could maybe bring it to you.” He handed him the popcorn looking very proud of himself.
Jesse accepted the gift and thanked, despite not really feeling any joy. “It’s so sweet that you thought about me,” he admitted with surprise. Or maybe with confusion. He found it difficult to understand what exactly was happening in his head.
“You deserve to have it, after all I won it thanks to you!” explained Jere and kissed his friend on the forehead. He laughed out loud, “Look what I can do!” and kissed him a few more times.
Jesse stared at his popcorn. On the one hand it was really nice, on the other hand he somehow completely lost his appetite. Clumsily, he tried to joke, “Yeah, I get it, you are tall.”
“I am tall,” repeated the rapper, grinning widely. With arms kept behind his back and pure joy in his eyes he more resembled a child than a thirty-year-old. His shorter friend couldn’t help but wonder at this sight. How could someone be so adorable yet so repulsive at the same time?
His face must have revealed some of his worry since Jere suddenly looked guilty. “But I keep bothering you and you must be very busy. I’m sorry.”
“Oh no, I’m already done, let’s go back” the manager’s attempt at protesting got interrupted by the ringtone of his own phone. It was that club again. “I will join y’all soon, don’t worry” he promised. His friend obediently gave him thumbs up and hastily returned to the arcade. Surely he must have been allergic to event organization.
Jesse quickly solved the issue with the venue, but he kept the phone at his ear even after he hung up. He wanted to use this moment he had to think about the strange feelings he was having today and which kept bothering him more and more. It was difficult to name them since he couldn’t even recognize what they were. It wasn’t a crush, and it surely wasn’t envy – a feeling he was way too familiar with. Ever since Cha Cha Cha premiered, life kept serving him humble pie as he watched his old friend, a singer just like himself, suddenly rise above the other artists in the country, while his own career got stuck where it was leaving him known only as Käärijä‘s friend.
A sigh escaped his mouth as he couldn’t figure out what’s bothering him and his time was running out. Finally he came to the conclusion that in the end it didn’t matter that much what feeling it was – as long as it was bringing him down, he will have to take care of it, before Jere starts suspecting that he might be the cause.
The idea to avoid his friend proved to do more harm than good, since ignored emotions not only didn’t disappear, they also kept getting stronger. Much to his horror Jesse realized that by constantly running away he only kept strengthening the subconscious belief that something might be, in fact, threatening him.
He took a look at the untouched popcorn and realized that Jere picked his favourite flavour. His throat was however still tight and there was no way he could eat anything. He hated himself for the feelings that were coming out of him because he wanted Jere to be happy, but currently every conversation with him was getting more and more tiring and he couldn’t hide it any longer.
He needed help.
After returning to his pals he was wondering whom he could entrust with this unusual issue. It hit him instead that none of them seemed to have any problem with the new Jere. Everyone was having a good time.
Everyone except him.
Struck by doubt Jesse couldn’t bring himself to trust anyone anymore. Even his good friend Mikke didn’t seem like the right confidant – Jesse was too scared that he would defend his brother and paint him as a monster.
The day however was nearing an end. He already spent so many hours in this form, a few more won’t make much difference. He decided to clench his teeth and hold on. For Jere.
The next activity from their plan awaited on the highest floor of the shopping center. On their way they had to pass through a dense crowd and the shrunken musician was feeling rather uneasy, barely able to see anything above all the heads. Ironically, suddenly he felt glad that Jere was so tall, as it made it easy to spot him.
Not that it was necessary at the moment.
Ever since he stopped avoiding him the enlarged friend didn’t leave his side, trying to cheer him up. And to be fair, his jokes genuinely did help. Unfortunately the worries in Jesse’s head only kept multiplying.
He was worried about the unpleasant feelings he had about Jere; he was worried that he couldn’t deal with them; he was worried that it was evident looking at him; he was worried that Jere will finally understand that he is the cause, and that it will hurt him strongly; he was worried since no one else in the group had this worry and he was worried that it will only get worse.
He wasn’t worried that too many worries made him stop noticing what’s happening around. And he should.
“I told you this will work. Just like in the movies.” Jere was proud of himself.
“Do you really believe that no one will recognize you only because you’re wearing a cap and glasses? How much longer will you risk?” Jesse regretted that the bodyguard didn’t come with them. In such a crowded place one loud fan would be enough to immobilize them for half an hour.
The artist gestured around. “Everybody knows that Käärijä is short. If anyone notices the similarity, I can joke that I hear that a lot. But look, nobody bothered us yet! It’s a new kind of invisibility!”
Jesse agreed with that. Unfortunately the conversation consumed all the remaining attention he had left and he hadn't noticed at all when he bumped into a „wet floor” warning sign standing in the middle of the passage. He also barely noticed when right after the sign he stumbled over a bucket collecting water leaking from the ceiling. Thrown out of balance he stepped right into a puddle, which obviously made him slip. With dumbfounded surprise he slowly registered that he just happens to be falling down.
But he was not meant to hit the floor when Jere was around. His friend reacted in a flash, clumsily yet firmly grabbing him mid-air. “Are you ok?” asked Jere with worry, but Jesse did not answer. He started to slowly regain awareness of his surroundings, even though he saw and felt mostly Jere. In his terrifyingly deserted head the familiar debilitating feeling made itself comfortable, stronger than ever before. The overwhelming amount of emotions, futile attempts at understanding what just happened and his friend’s intimidating presence completely paralyzed him.
But Jere wasn’t really interested in getting an answer. Still holding his friend, he stared at him with widely opened eyes. “You are as light as a feather,” he noticed astounded.
Another worry for the shrunken musician and knowledge which he would prefer not to gain. The feelings in his head were alarmingly loud. He knew he wouldn't hold on for much longer. He wanted to scream and struggle but he knew that by making such a scene he would hurt his friend’s feelings. Wanting to protest, he couldn’t find any words that would not be exaggerated and unfair and revealing this massive irrational disdain that he felt towards Jere’s new appearance. He tried to quickly come up with something else to say.
Not quickly enough.
Without much thought the rapper put his hands under his friend’s armpits and lifted him off the ground, staring at him with wonder.
Jesse lost the ground from under his feet and the remains of his humanity. Right then he felt like a prey animal. Never mind the culture and manners and others’ feelings, it was only him and the danger.
In a sudden desperate surge of strength he roared:
“Jere! Stop!”
So he lost. How could he explain such an outburst? His weakness got exposed, all his abhorrence came out, there was no way to fix that. He felt tears coming to his eyes. He failed his friend. A day of joy just turned into a day of misery and despair.
Except Jere did not notice anything. He was still staring amazed like a child, in awe at his own strength. Soon he snapped out of it and put his friend back on the floor, apologizing awkwardly, still processing what just happened.
Jesse couldn’t believe his luck. So that’s it? No need to explain himself?
Apparently no. The group moved forward and nobody asked any questions. Who would have thought?
As soon as he calmed down, he realized it won’t be so easy to get away with it the next time. He decided to stop waiting patiently until he lost control again: he needed to do something, immediately.
The group finally made it to the bowling alley and Jesse as the only one couldn’t enjoy this. He stayed away from his friends – all of them, not just Jere anymore, although he kept discreetly watching him.
He was upset since everyone else was having a good time while he himself couldn’t stop worrying. As the only one he couldn’t handle the new Jere. He also couldn’t handle focusing, dancing, talking, or even staying calm for a moment. Compared to them, he felt like a worse kind of person. The only one who fails.
What is more, he just lost sight of Jere. Damn it, how was that even possible with his size?! Angry at his powerlessness Jesse kept nervously looking around the establishment which in his head resembled a setting of some cursed psychological drama more than a place dedicated to meetings and entertainment. Walls and furniture merged into one, lights and decorations resembled warning colours of poisonous animals.
Finally he spotted his friend at the bar. He seemed to be ordering beer. And he surely will take one for him.
He knew what happens now. Jere will turn around, approach him casually, and start a friendly chat.
Jesse broke out in a cold sweat. He was completely unprepared for another clash with his reflexes. Running a simple conversation seemed at the moment like such an enormous effort that the thought alone made him powerless.
Right in a moment. He’s paying already, a few more seconds and he will come. Jesse could barely breathe. He felt his throat tighten, his strength leaving, his body held in place by some foreign force so he couldn’t move.
Wait. The last part wasn’t just a feeling. Someone grabbed him for real. He tried to struggle, but he was too weak. Three pairs of arms slowly laid him on the floor. He didn’t even know what to feel anymore. The only thing left was waiting for what happens next.
He heard a familiar laughter. Three Daltons leaned above him together.
“We wanted to take you by surprise,” explained Jaakko. The bizarre situation turned out to be a mere prank. Jesse sighed with relief, returning to reality. The gentlemen quickly helped him stand up, brushed the dust off him and patted him on the shoulder. Amused, he admitted that the ambush worked.
“You have no chance against us,” remarked Aleksi.
“Because I’m small?” asked Jesse, upset.
“Because there is three of us!” replied Aleksi and exchanged a series of high-fives with the other Daltons.
“I hope we didn’t scare you too much,” worried Jukka. Jesse was about to respond, but looking at him he once again felt the familiar unpleasant sensation. And finally, he realized what it was.
Indeed: they did scare him. It was fear. The whole day he was just scared! This unpleasant feeling which accompanied him since the moment the spell was cast, rising as more hours passed, taking over his mind, intimidating and overwhelming – this whole time he experienced fear.
Now it seemed obvious, although it was difficult to accept that he might be afraid of his best friend. Maybe that’s why it didn’t occur to him even once.
Because what should he be scared of? That Jere will hurt him? Beat him up? That’s absurd. But fear doesn’t have to be rational. And looking at Daltons Jesse realized that he wasn’t afraid of Jere only. Jukka also looked scary today.
All of that because he was smaller than them. This was the main source of his anxiety. The problem was never Jere. The problem was in Jesse’s head this whole time! He didn’t notice because the whole day he focused on his friend, but now, looking at Jukka, he shivered, and one thought about the bodyguard made him all dizzy.
With a mix of relief and embarrassment he fell on a couch (which, by the way, was surprisingly comfy) and tried to calmly assess his situation.
Tall Jere scared him. Jesse didn’t want to fear him, but he couldn’t control it anymore. After a whole day of inner struggle he was exhausted and couldn’t pretend any longer that everything was alright. Even the smallest issues were too much for him at the moment. Or maybe it was just him feeling too little. If this continues, by the evening he will completely disappear.
He needs to do something about it.
They had a whole day full of fun activities and Jere enjoyed every minute. If he found out now that Jesse felt bad the whole time, without a doubt he would feel responsible and his whole joy would turn into guilt. He was so kindhearted that he would surely hurt more from Jesse’s adventures than Jesse himself. No, there is absolutely no way he can reveal the truth. He needs a secret third thing.
It’s time to ask for help. This time for real.
Jesse got up from the couch and joined the group in the alley. They were just splitting into teams. The absent-minded musician observed all his friends at once, assessing whom he could entrust with his problem.
It would go easier if Jere didn’t constantly fool around. He just gave Häärijä a piggyback ride and flailed around the floor pretending to be strangled. Jesse shook his head with disappointment hearing his cursed moaning. Too many stimuli at once, too little energy to think.
And then it hit him. He waited for the guys to end their shenanigans and calmly asked Häärijä to have a word with him. Jere asked no questions, only raised his arms defensively and walked away. It paid to be a manager: he could talk to anyone privately without raising any suspicions. And also Jere was terrified of bureaucracy, so he knew he wouldn't even try to eavesdrop.
Häärijä was waiting patiently for Jesse to find the right words, meanwhile the latter realized that no matter how he phrases it, what he wanted to say will sound very stupid.
“Listen, Häärijä, I know this is quite… unusual, but I’m completely serious and I don’t know whom else I could ask.”
“Unusual?” Häärijä leaned closer, fully focused.
“Because, say, how is it that everywhere we go you usually, always, hang out with guys much bigger than you? As if, as if they didn’t scare you at all?” Jesse got embarrassed seeing his friend’s surprised look. “No, forgive me, that was pathetic...”
“Oh no, wait,” Häärijä interrupted him quickly. His eyes were not judging, quite the contrary: they were gentle and caring. “Okay, it really is, as you said, an unusual question, but, if that’s important… Listen: we’re all civilized, so I know there is nothing to fear from their side. People come in different shapes and sizes, that’s just natural. Have you noticed how in comedy works the main characters usually have contrasting body types?”
“Well, come to think of it… It’s pretty amusing.”
“Amusing, because actually it's a bit scary,” pointed out the friend confidently. “It’s natural to feel a little uneasy when you notice how strongly we differ. But you can always choose to change that unease into humour.”
Jesse wasn’t convinced, so Häärijä continued.
“Alright, sometimes it happens that someone bigger tries to intimidate me. But it won’t work on me because I know all the secrets of the human body and when needed, I could humiliate them in front of everyone. I imagine that… and it calms me down.”
The manager looked at him pathetically. “But I don’t know any secrets!” he groaned. His friend thought for a moment.
“Okay, there is this simple trick: when someone is standing, you approach them from behind and tap the back side of their knee. This makes the leg fold on its own and the person loses balance and falls to the ground. You might want to catch them though.”
“Really?” The tired musician couldn’t even imagine that.
“Really! I could show you, but if Jere saw this, he wouldn’t give us peace for the rest of our lives.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“You can find videos online if you don’t believe me.”
“No, I believe you! I really do. It’s just so...”
“Unusual?” Häärijä smiled disarmingly. His joy was contagious as usual. For the first time in hours Jesse felt calm.
He breathed deeply and thought about the knee trick. This could work. Finally he got a tool to combat the irrational fear. He felt the iron grip on his head loosening slightly. He was convinced that he would be able to control himself.
He thanked his friend and was about to return to the group when he realized that his companion didn’t even know what he helped him with. Besides, maybe he wasn’t afraid right now, but what if the fear keeps growing until it defeats him again? What will save him then?
With a heavy heart he stopped Häärijä. “Listen… I’m in bad shape today. Can I… talk to you about something that bothers me?”
“But you are aware that I’m not a psychotherapist, but a physiotherapist, right?” joked Häärijä but quickly got serious. “Of course. I’m listening.”
Jesse didn’t know where to look. He felt ashamed again. “See, this spell is fun and stuff, but… I’m afraid of this Jere.” His friend raised his eyebrows. “He scares me, and I struggle more and more to hide it. And he cannot learn about this. You know how sensitive he is, this would break him!”
Häärijä thought about it looking towards the group and noticed Käärijä posing with his butt sticking out and Daltons taking turns to spank him. The artist’s doppelganger smiled lovingly and agreed with Jesse. “What is your plan?”, he asked.
“There is no plan,” lamented Jesse. “The original plan was to prevent Jere from noticing that I have a problem. He is supposed to have fun, that’s all. Look how long I managed so far! If he learns now that I’m not enjoying this at all, everything will go to waste! And he will surely learn this because I can’t keep doing this anymore! I can’t do it, and there are only a few hours left!”
“I believe this is what they call the sunk cost fallacy.”
“Oh, so you suddenly know psychology?” snapped Jesse. He had neither interest nor energy to argue.
“Tell me, what exactly would happen If you asked him to reverse the spell now? You can just tell him that you are tired, because you are, and that it was nice, but you already had enough, because you had, and you don’t even have to tell him any details. I’m sure he will understand.”
These words shook Jesse. Everything started coming together. He does not have to hold on until the day ends. He does not have to fear that he won’t hold on. He does not have to hide that he fears that he won’t hold on if he just gives up. This makes sense, this really makes sense!
It might have been just one worry less, it might be just dropping one rule which he set himself before, and the whole world was no longer scary. All the other fears that drained him the whole day were built on this one, and without their anchor point they started to die one by one. He felt a new life coming into him. Suddenly he started to notice details and possibilities that were hidden from him the whole day. He felt like he could do anything.
This change of thinking must have been visible on Jesse’s face because Häärijä smiled gladly. “Did it help?”
“It did, you don’t even know how much!” Jesse threw himself on his neck.
“Remember that you can count on me when you feel overwhelmed again. A problem shared is a problem halved.”
“Well said. So good you are here.”
Häärijä hugged him tightly, patted his shoulder and asked, “Well, can we go back?”
Jere was chilling on the couch with Jaakko and Jukka. Seeing Jesse approaching, he immediately raised him the beer he brought him and moved to the side to make some space for his friend. His presence wasn't as overwhelming as before, but Jesse cautiously wanted to avoid staying too close.
“I’ll sit with my team instead,” excused himself Jesse and thanked for the beer.
“Did you handle everything?” Jere was watching him carefully.
“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s all solved now,” Jesse calmed him down with a smile, which quickly faded when Jere got up from the couch to hug him.
The tall friend leaned forward to rest his chin on Jesse’s shoulder and hugged him tightly. Although his closeness was still intimidating, it was no longer as paralyzing as before. Jesse gladly returned the hug.
“Thank you for taking care of everything,” said Jere and added quieter, “I wish you could forget about work just once.” He hugged him even tighter.
For two seconds Jesse felt nothing but love. He returned to reality with wet eyes.
“The night is still young,” he smiled. “Maybe they will leave me alone for now.”
Jesse returned to his team. When he walked past Häärijä, who watched him curiously, he admitted smiling, “I think you healed me.”
Since then Jesse hasn't lost control anymore. Paradoxically, whenever he felt rising pressure, what helped him the most was hiding in Jere’s arms. Protected from the world and supported by the strong embrace, he quickly regained balance.
He watched Jere’s joy with satisfaction and pride. And he didn’t mind the slightest when in the late afternoon he got a call from the witch herself. Turns out an emergency forced her to urgently travel outside the city and they will have to move the spell removal for tomorrow noon.
Jesse smiled widely. He couldn’t wait to see Jere’s face when he learns that the fun does not have to stop today.