Archive of Our Own

It was not the first time his best friend had helped him heal the wounds his body had accumulated after an arduous mission. However, this time had been, without a doubt, the most heartbreaking of his life.

“That’s all,” said Ieiri, “Are you okay?”

Suguru sensed in her voice an echo of his own pain. The mission had been a disaster, a true disaster. Not only had they lost Riko, but also Gojō. He had never imagined that something like that could happen. He had always thought that both the white-haired man and himself were the strongest, capable of facing any adversity. But none of those involved in the Star Plasma Vessel mission had survived. Except for him, who, for some reason, had been the only one to return alive.

Was that fair?

Suguru didn’t see it that way.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he lied in part, as physically he felt unharmed, but emotionally his world had shattered.

Shōko didn’t believe him. He could see it in her eyes. Suguru, however, did not have the words to express what he felt. He was in an abyss of emotions, unable to feel anything tangible, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what had happened. He could only hope that in time, those feelings would find their place and fade.

Both were sitting in the Time Vessel Association, but neither said a word. Time seemed to be moving slower and slower. The company of the girl was helpful for the dark-haired man, who was completely in shock and unable to move, staring at a fixed point in the room, playing with his hands in an attempt to relax, soothing himself.

Masamichi entered the room, without bothering to announce his arrival.

“They’ve seen Satoru walking this way,” he said, panting, as if he had run to give them the news.

Suguru jumped to his feet, though he was afraid to be hopeful. He was yearning for it to be true, but he didn’t want to face those feelings tearing themselves from his body once again, even though he trusted the words of the future director.

He ran down the hallway until he heard applause behind a closed door. He sprinted towards that door, his heart pounding so hard he felt like it might burst from his chest. For a moment, he felt calm. But it was a calm like a double-edged sword, the calm before the storm.

What he saw in front of him left him breathless, even more so than the race he had just made to get there. Indeed, Satoru was alive, carrying the lifeless body of Amanai in his arms, but his words hurt like daggers, like the wounds inflicted by Toji on his body. He knew they were too late, he knew they had failed, but he didn’t want to hear it from someone else’s lips. He couldn’t bear it.

After that incident, Suguru felt like something inside him broke beyond repair.

Getō Suguru had not felt like himself for more than a year, like he always had. All of his emotions had been mixed up due to a series of circumstances that had arisen from the mission that Masamichi had given him and Gojō Satoru at Tengen-san’s request. At first glance, it had seemed like a simple task, but nothing was further from the truth, for everything that could have gone wrong, did indeed went wrong.

After that, a series of events kept occurring that continued to break Suguru constantly. Gojō became the strongest, and because of this, he was sent alone on missions more often, leaving Suguru behind. On the other hand, Shōko had his duties as well, so Suguru found himself more often alone than accompanied by those he considered his best friends. The increase in his loneliness began to cause Getō to mistakenly believe that everyone was better off without him, a belief that was far from reality and was also negatively affecting his mental health.

At that moment, Suguru was standing next to Satoru, with Ieiri at his side, who was standing leaning against one of the school walls. Meanwhile, Gojō was explaining his new technique to them and the girl’s attention was fully focused on him, asking him questions and so on. Suguru, on the other hand, seemed to be completely disconnected from the conversation. It had been several seconds since he had completely stopped paying attention to what Satoru was saying. His mind had begun to wander to memories he treasured, moments he knew he could never experience again.

“How can you not know how to ride a bike, Satoru?” Suguru asked, letting out a genuine laugh that he tried to hide by holding a hand to his lips so as not to hurt his friend’s feelings.

“No one ever taught me!” Satoru replied with a grimace of annoyance, crossing his arms after adjusting his glasses on his face.

“What’s the point of being the wielder of Infinity and Six Eyes if you can’t do the basics?” Getō joked, dismounting from the bike and approaching the other man with it, “Come on, hop on, I’ll show you.”

It took a while to convince Satoru to get on the bike, but he finally agreed and the little lesson began. 

The first step was to help Gojō to keep his balance, as Suguru had removed the back wheels since many years ago, those that were used to provide support. However, this turned out to be easier than either of them could have imagined. Then, the next challenge was to get Satoru to pedal on his own without Suguru behind him holding the bike to prevent him from falling off. After a few minutes of practice and some grumbling from the white-haired boy, they succeeded. They always made a great team for whatever they set out to do.

Suguru allowed Satoru to take a few laps in the open area within the school to familiarise himself with the bike. It was a pleasure to see him smile and enjoy, laughing as he did at that moment. He sat under the shade of a tree, his shirt sleeves rolled up and no jacket to avoid overheating, but he couldn’t take his eyes off his friend, ready to intervene if Satoru needed help at any moment. It was a simple moment, but Getō was starting to consider it one of his favourites among the many shared with Gojō.

After a few minutes, his friend returned, leaning the bike against another tree before taking a seat beside him. At that moment, Suguru noticed Satoru’s breath, and without even needing to look at him, he knew he was smiling. See, that was the thing, Getō could recognize Satoru in any situation, whether he had him in front of him or not. It was love, or at least that’s what he supposed.

“Even though I already know how to ride a bike,” his friend started to say as he pulled up some grass around him from sitting on the ground, “I’m still going to ride behind you so you can take me to places.”

“What about the fact that it's illegal?” Getō asked, laughing again, this time turning his head slightly towards the other boy.

“Who says it is?” He asked, stretching his arms out and slapping his hands against his own thighs.

“I don’t know, Satoru, let me think…” He faked what he said, bringing a hand to his chin and massaging it, “Uh, the law, for example.”

“Pst, who cares. We won’t get caught,” Satoru waved his hand to downplay his own words.

Minutes passed in which both friends were silent, in which quietness reigned, and the cicadas could be heard as well as the wind rustling the branches of the surrounding trees. Suguru leaned his head against the tree they were sitting in and sighed a little, though it was more for the comfort he felt.

Sometimes words were unnecessary when they were next to each other, it was as if they understood each other perfectly without needing anything else.

Satoru leaned his head against Getō’s nearest shoulder, causing him to open his eyes and look into the other’s, which were placidly closed. He had removed his glasses before doing so, so his face was completely uncovered. Those eyes were like an enigma, a mystery he longed to solve again and again.

When those lids were sealed, everything about Satoru’s expression changed, he looked so relaxed, so calm, as if he didn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Almost as if he were an ordinary boy. His eyelashes were pure white, like snow itself had decided to adorn his eyes. They rested on his lower eyelids and resembled delicate feathers, soft and ethereal.

“Satoru,” Suguru called, his voice sounding soft, calm, yet with a hint of neediness.

His friend opened his eyes and Getō met his intimidating sapphires, watching them curiously, he heard him make a little sound as a question, a simple ‘Hm?’, which caused him to swallow hard. They both fell silent, and Satoru broke away from him to get a better look on his face. There were no words between them, only glances, and they understood everything they wanted to say to each other.

There were so many ‘I want to kiss you’, ‘I want to tell you how I feel’, ‘you are important to me’ that went unsaid. The reasons were simple, not as complicated as one might expect. It wasn’t about them being two men, it wasn’t about any of that, it was that neither of them wanted to ruin the friendship they had, because they valued it above all else.

It had not been the first time that they had almost risked their friendship for a kiss, to be able to let themselves be carried away by those feelings that they both held in the depths of their hearts.

Satoru’s hand ended up against Getō’s cheek, tenderly, almost like he was afraid of breaking it, and Suguru felt, at that moment, that he might actually do it unless his friend held him back. Their foreheads pressed together, in an attempt to contain each other, and then Satoru spoke.

“I know, Suguru, I know.”

And that was all he needed to hear.

“Are you listening to me?” Gojō asked, snapping his fingers close to his face.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah,” Suguru replied, though it was a lie.

Satoru knew that, so he repeated the question. “Have you lost weight? Are you eating well? You look a little ill.”

He shook his head, waving his hand to play down his condition. He didn’t want to worry anyone, and it was a wonder no one had noticed how much Suguru had changed in the past year... Though part of him was screaming inside for someone to help him, someone to rescue him from the ocean inside him, for he was drowning and he didn't know how long he would be able to stand it.

“I’m fine, it must be the heat. I haven’t had enough water today.”

It wasn’t a very good excuse, he was aware of that, but it was more than enough to stop Satoru from asking him questions that he struggled to answer as a lump formed in his throat and constricted his breath, the words catching in the middle without him being able to help it.

Masamichi sent for Satoru and when he left, he and Ieiri were left alone. The girl held a cigarette between her lips and they both found themselves staring into the empty space left by the white-haired boy’s departure to the director's office.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Ieiri asked, after a few minutes of silence.

The days passed, each one slower – and more monotonous – than the last, and the distance between Satoru and Suguru became more obvious. They no longer walked together as before; Satoru moved forward while Suguru seemed to have been left behind. It was not only the shock of Riko’s passing that had affected him, but also everything that had happened around him. The battle with Toji had left deep scars, especially when he had seen the young girl fall in front of him, suddenly lifeless. During the fight, he had even come to believe that Satoru had lost his life, and at that moment, he had felt completely alone and forlorn.

Suguru could finally breathe a sigh of relief when he was told that Satoru was alive. He couldn’t wait to meet him and make sure he was all right. However, it wasn’t until he returned to the Time Vessel Association, carrying Amanai’s lifeless body with him, that he was able to do so. It was at that point that Satoru asked him if it was okay to kill them all, as he claimed that he didn't feel anything at the time. It wasn’t easy to be Gojō’s moral compass when he was suffering too.

That was precisely what he was thinking when Haibara appeared. Suguru forced a smile, one he didn’t want to show because it wasn’t genuine, but there was little he could do when he had no reason to smile sincerely.

“Getō-san!” The younger one greeted.

He knew the boy looked up to him, and he knew that if he didn’t want to disappoint him he had to put all his effort into appearing normal – and that’s what he did. He invited him over for a drink, they had a pleasant conversation, and days later, Suguru found himself in the high school morgue laying a white sheet over the lifeless body of the first-year student, with Nanami behind him, who had a towel over his eyes.

Suguru was sure it wasn’t because he had a headache or any physical discomfort, he was sure he was covering his eyes so he wouldn’t see his friend lying there. He was aware of how hard it was to be in such a situation and yet he didn’t know what to do to help Kento.

“Let’s go outside,” he offered, giving one of his shoulders a squeeze.

Suguru stayed by his side until he stood up, and together they left the room. As they walked down the hallway, Getō’s gaze remained fixed on the floor until he noticed the absence of the blond boy by his side and turned to see where he was. Nanami was leaning against one of the walls of the long hallway they were in, and Getō noticed how his legs were trembling. That’s why his first instinct was to run towards him to support him.

He put an arm around his body, under his arms to prevent him from falling abruptly. So, he helped him sit down, doing the same next to him. That’s when he realised he was crying and trying to hide it when there was no reason to do so.

“Easy…” He whispered against him, taking his arm out from under the other’s arms and placing it now on his shoulders. Suguru’s hand went to the side of his head to invite him to use his shoulder to cry, “Take it easy, let it out, it’s okay…”

Nanami was strong, Suguru knew that, but he had just lost a friend. It was only natural that he was crying against his shoulder now. He had wished that Gojō would take over all the missions, even the easy ones so that nothing else would happen to anyone. 

Suguru could only think that he wasn’t even going through the worst phase of grieving, that he had many steps to take, that he had many stairs to climb and that one sometimes didn’t manage to climb them at all, but that was something he didn't tell him so as not to break his heart even more.

Where was the happiness they felt, where was their youth? They were teenagers fighting the battles of adults.

“I really want to kiss you,” said Satoru.

It had been a few months before everything happened with Riko, both of them were in the school gym after playing with a basketball, which was currently being used by Gojō as a volleyball. Shōko had left them alone after joining the game for a while, the girl had something to do while the two boys were shirking their responsibilities.

Suddenly Suguru turned his head to look at him in surprise and laughed, thinking he was playing a joke on him, even though the white-haired boy would never joke about such a thing. His friend got up and sat on the floor as he lay there for a long time despite playing with the ball. Several times he warned him that he was going to lose it and end up taking a ball to the face, but Satoru never listened to him.

“I’m serious,” he said again, and Getō stopped laughing awkwardly, because if it was a joke he didn’t find it too funny, “I’m tired of pretending we don't want to. We’re friends, we’ll always be friends, what’s a kiss going to change?”

“Satoru…”

“Tell me how a kiss can change our friendship,” he repeated, with a grimace on his lips, “I’ll tell you. Nothing, it won’t change anything at all.”

His heart was about to burst out of his chest, he never thought that moment would come, let alone out of nowhere, without warning. He wasn’t going to complain no matter how much it had caught him by surprise and Satoru was right, what was he so afraid of? What was really going to change between them so drastically that it was going to ruin their bond? Nothing, just as Satoru was saying. Only the two of them understood what was happening to them, only they were able to dictate the trajectory of their lives, at least in that sense.

Suguru nodded, inviting him to come closer to him, to kiss him, as he also wanted that.

“See, it wasn’t too hard to accept, huh,” Gojō said, by way of complaint. But deep down Suguru knew he had no such intentions.

They both approached each other, without getting up from the ground. Satoru ended up standing next to him and he let him, being the first to take a step by placing one of his hands on the nearest cheek to caress him, gently. It seemed that neither of them were daring to take the most important step.

“Didn’t you say it wasn’t difficult?” Suguru asked, wanting to encourage the white-haired man to do it, “Are you already regretting it before you do it? Tsk.”

Satoru rolled his eyes, and Getō knew he had touched something inside him that had given him the strength to finally do it, perhaps pride to show that he was brave. It was incredible how they faced strong, dangerous curses, but they couldn’t let themselves be carried away by their purest feelings.

Gojō slowly leaned forward, his hand trembling slightly as he moved towards Suguru’s cheek, who closed his eyes feeling his touch and focusing on the momentary sensation. Satoru’s heart was pounding so hard that Suguru thought he could hear it, or perhaps it was his own vital organ resonating.

Suguru didn’t see it, but the white-haired man closed his eyes with determination, just as he had done seconds before, and his lips found the other’s in a tender kiss. It was a gesture full of affection and love, a kiss that expressed everything they had been feeling in silence.

Their lips moved softly, exploring the sweet taste of the first shared kiss. The outside world disappeared as they lost themselves in that magical moment, a moment that sealed the beginning of something they had both been longing for a long time. Suguru caressed his friend’s nape with the tips of his fingers while Satoru held onto his uniform shirt.

It wasn’t a union that lasted too long, although it seemed like both wanted it to. As they parted, Getō leaned in once more, but this time to leave a kiss on his friend’s cheek affectionately, gently. The smiles they both had on their lips reflected the happiness they felt in their hearts, like two fools in love.

“You were right,” Suguru confessed, though he soon added, before Satoru could make one of his many comments, “But at the same time, no.”

“How’s that possible? It makes no sense,” he complained, which made the other boy laugh.

“Because it doesn’t change anything and it changes everything,” Getō ended up saying, as he leaned back against the wall, throwing his head back.

“I don’t follow you,” Satoru admitted, doing the same as him.

“We’ll still be friends after this kiss, but I’m afraid I’m going to want many more,” he pinched his stomach, and Gojō did the same.

There, without further ado, a small scuffle began between them, typical of teasing and poking fun at each other, tickling each other to see who could endure more without giving in. At that moment, he felt so happy, so full of life, with so much excitement about what he was experiencing with his best friend. He felt like Satoru was the only one who truly understood him.

It wasn’t the last time he kissed him, although usually it was his friend who initiated those displays of affection. Suguru loved it that way, he loved it when Gojō sought him out, kissed him out of nowhere when they were alone, or reached for his hand to walk with him once they had left school... Any gesture from the white-haired boy was well received, and it always made him happy.

Exorcise, absorb. 

Over and over. 

Exorcise. 

Absorb.

Who was he doing that for? Why did he keep doing it? No one else understood what cursed spirits taste like.

He felt that Satoru no longer needed him, so his relationship with him had cooled considerably. They still saw each other, sure, they still walked home together, but it wasn’t the same any more. Suguru wasn’t jealous of Satoru’s strength, he was jealous that he wasn’t strong enough to protect him like the other was able to protect everyone else.

In Masamichi’s office, Suguru took a seat in front of the man’s desk, who was handing him a report of a mission he was giving him. Apparently it was an easy mission that shouldn’t take long and that he could do without anyone’s help.

“You’ll go alone, I’m sure you can do it without help,” said the man, and although a part of Getō knew that he was telling him that to help him feel better, to take the heat off the matter, he couldn’t have felt worse, “It’s a very simple mission, I trust you.”

“Alright,” Suguru said, taking the report. He glanced over it and, without a hint of hesitation, nodded and withdrew. With the man’s words still echoing in his head.

‘It’s not a complicated mission, you should be able to do it alone.’

The worst part of it all was that he knew at what point he was no longer considered one of the strongest and remembering it hurt almost as much as when Toji defeated him.

It was going to take him a few days, or so he thought, which was normal for such missions, especially when they were so far away from Tokyo. Maybe it would do him good to spend a few days away from the centre, away from all those he shared a class with and saw every day. He even thought it would do him good to get away from Gojō. Suguru was aware that his friend was not to blame for what was happening to him, nor was he even to blame that they were relaying on him as much as they were, but it was still difficult for the black-haired man.

The arrival in the village meant that Getō had to start his investigations, asking questions of the neighbours and trying to find out if any of them knew anything that might help him find out what the hell was going on there, but none of them wanted to talk to him. It was clear enough that they were scared by what was happening, and Suguru felt the need to protect them, to defend the weak, so he would find the curse and put an end to it.

Exorcise, absorb.

The cause of the woes was a curse, not a very complicated one to exorcise, as the school principal had made clear to him. That was it, he could go back to Tokyo much sooner than expected. On the one hand, he was proud that he had managed to do it in such a short time, he really didn’t see himself fit for the job and he had succeeded on his own, without needing any help whatsoever.

It was then that two people, almost elderly, approached him to talk to him, and Suguru listened to everything they had to say, although there was something that didn’t fit, something that didn’t feel right.

“We have the monsters that have been terrorising the village,” said the woman.

“We’ve locked them in here, come on, follow us and we’ll show you,” the man patted him on the shoulder as he was guided towards the house where the ‘monsters’ were locked up.

To his surprise, when he reached the place where the pair were guiding him, Suguru found two little girls, no more than five years old. He did not understand why the girls were locked up there, beaten, injured... It was clear that they had been mistreated by the locals for being just like him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” Suguru confessed, looking at the terrified girls.

“The monsters,” the man pointed to the cage with his hand, accompanying it with a nod of his head, “It’s them. These are the cause of everything that’s happening.”

The woman then kicked the bars to scare them away from the fence. Suguru frowned at the sight and took a step forward to stand between the adults and the little ones. They were human, it was clear, so why were they locked up there? Why were they being mistreated and blamed for the misfortunes that had befallen the village? The black-haired boy scratched his forehead with his thumb, frowning.

He was beginning to see that the monsters were really those two who had led him there.

“I think you’re wrong.”

“Not at all,” the man interjected again, stepping forward, “These girls terrorise the village, they are an evil force.”

“They almost murdered my grandson the other day,” said the woman.

The girls, Suguru assumed they were sisters, were hugging each other in a protective gesture. “That’s not true!” Said one of them.

“Shut up, witch! Their mother was like them,” he spoke to the woman again.

Getō didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. He wasn’t sure he could take any more of the adults’ complaints and retorts, wasn’t sure he could keep looking at the girls without his heart shattering in a million pieces. They were just like Satoru, Ieiri, Nanami... They called them monsters when they were really sorceresses who needed help training. So, was he a monster too? So were his friends? If they were considered monsters by those weaklings they protected, what were the rest of humans then?

The conversation he had with Yuki came to his mind. He was about to choose what he thought, what was right and what was wrong. There was no place in his life for those ungrateful, for the weak, if he exterminated them all... Maybe those girls would be free, others in the same situation as them, all sorcerers could live much better. He just had to take the step. He turned to look at the elders.

“If you would be so kind as to come with me,” he said, with a fake smile.

They turned around and, before leaving the place where they were, Suguru gave a glance to the girls, wanting to let them know that everything was going to be alright.

Once outside on the street, Getō stopped in his tracks. What he was planning to do was crazy, no one but him would support him and something told him it wasn’t right. But he was so tired, so exhausted from the life he was leading, he wasn’t able to look beyond that, beyond the injustices he had experienced.

“They’re kids,” he started to say, and before either of them could reply, he raised his hand to tell them to shut up, “What were you thinking? Why are you keeping them locked up?”

“They are monsters! We’ve already told you,” said the woman, pointing with her whole arm inwards.

“They’re kids!” He shouted back, unable to hold his temper.

Suguru had the lives of those two people and the rest of the village in his hands, and yet... He couldn't do it. He couldn't kill them, no matter how much he wanted to, so he took a deep breath with his eyes closed for a few moments. Not only that, but he tried to get his respiration to calm down, to stop his hands from shaking the way they were and tried to think of a solution to the problem.

“Give me the key,” Suguru asked, holding out his hand to the elders. They didn’t seem to understand what he was saying, or rather didn’t want to give it to him, so the black-haired one spoke louder, spitting out, “The key!”

“Why--”

“I’m going to get them out of there.”

“You can’t do that,” said the woman, as the man pulled out the key to hand it to him. She tried to stop him, but Suguru was quicker to take it. 

“Let him take them out and take them away, if they’re not here they’re no longer our problem.

“After everything we do for you,” the sorcerer spat, as if his mouth was spewing venom, “The times we risk our lives so that people like you, the weak, can go on living peaceful lives…”

The elders were silent, looking at them with a grimace on their lips without quite understanding what he was referring to, but they had taken half a step back as Getō faced them.

“You don’t deserve the help, and you’re lucky that I got already rid of the problem.”

He gripped the key tightly in his hands, feeling the indentations, its shape, and holding it as if afraid it would be snatched away. He returned to the girls, who were still frightened, and understandably so, but Suguru wasn’t going to harm them. It wasn’t part of the mission’s plan to return with them, but he knew that back at the school, they were unaware of what was happening.

He inserted the pick into the lock and turned it, causing the padlock to open and thus the door as well. At first, the dark-haired man didn’t enter, thinking he might frighten them if he wasn’t careful, and the last thing he wanted was precisely that. He crouched down, placing one knee on the ground.

All that irritability, those harsh words he had for the elderly, had vanished now that he was with them.

“Hello…” He greeted again. He put a hand to his chest and spoke in a soft tone, with a friendly smile decorating his lips, “I’m Suguru, Getō Suguru. I’m here to get you out of here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He extended his hand towards them, which made the girls hug each other tighter. Oh. He wanted to destroy that whole village for the pain they had caused those poor sisters.

“Don’t worry, I’m just like you…” He confessed, using his cursed technique to make one of his Curse Spirits appear next to him, a docile one with horns and two eyes – one on top of the other.

That Curse Spirit didn’t get too close to the girls either, but stood in front of them, looking at them with a very small smile on its face. It was huge, but one could see that it was completely harmless. One of the two sisters dared to reach out her hand towards the spirit to slowly caress it, encouraging her the other to do the same, all while Getō watched the scene waiting for them to feel comfortable enough with him to want to get close or even leave with him.

The girls were laughing amidst all the pain they had experienced, stroking and scratching the creature as it let them. And though the scene was a happy one, Suguru felt a pain he recognised instantly – it hurt to see them like that, in that context, because at the end of the day, they were just little girls. Soon after, one of them, the one who had dared to speak to the lady, stared at him, looking for the hand he had already lowered as he sat on the floor to wait for them. Suguru seemed to understand the young girl’s need, because he again stretched out his arm towards them, inviting the two to come closer, even though at first only one of them did.

“What’s going to happen now...?” She asked, holding the teenager’s hand.

Suguru looked at her and grimaced. She was so small...

“You’re coming with me, away from this and with people like us,” he said, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, “What’s your name?”

“Nanako,” she replied and then turned to point to the other girl, who was hiding behind the Curse Spirit, “And this is my sister Mimiko.”

It took a while for the other girl to trust him enough to approach, but gradually she did. He needed Shōko to examine them and make sure they were okay because it was obvious they had been mistreated, but only God knew for how long. Suguru was doing his best not to break down at that moment, not to cry, because he had to stay strong for a while longer.

Now they were on the outskirts of the village, with no means of transportation to return to the centre of Tokyo, as supposedly it would take a few days to resolve what was happening. But it wasn’t the case. The girls were sitting on Getō’s jacket on one side, away from the road, while the dark-haired man was calling the only person he felt he could tolerate seeing at that moment until they reached the school – Satoru.

“Suguru?” Said the white-haired man as he picked up the phone, “Everything alright?”

“I--” He choked on his own words as he tried not to cry, “I need you to come with someone to go back to school. It’s all right, just-- I need you here.”

Satoru would burn entire cities for him, Getō knew it deep down, but the reality was that he needed him by his side right now, for his mind had travelled to a very dark place that scared him, he now had two girls under his care and he had to help them in everything they needed from that moment on. None of the others had seen them the way he had, and that image had burned itself into his brain.

“I’m coming, don’t worry,” Gojō replied, and Suguru could tell from his voice that he was moving as fast as he could. “Wait for me.”

He hadn’t had to explain much more to Satoru for him to go after him, it was that unconditional love they had for each other that had made the friendship last so long. There was a time, over the course of that last year, when Suguru thought they were no longer friends, or anything beyond that camaraderie. He thought that the distance that had formed between them was a sign of a split, but nothing could be further from the truth, as far as he could see

Thank goodness, Suguru thought, please don’t let him walk away from me. Don’t let him walk away. Don’t let him walk away.

Having to wait a couple of hours for the other boy to arrive with someone from the school to pick them up, and considering it was late, Getō let the two sisters use him to settle in so they could get at least a little bit of sleep. He was exhausted too, but he kept telling himself to hold on for at least a few more hours until he was sure the girls were safe and sound.

As he stroked the hair of both of them, he saw lights approaching at high speed, and the sound of a car. It had to be none other than his friend, there was no doubt in his mind, and all the questions he had been wondering about up to that moment dissipated the moment he saw Satoru get out of the car at a great pace to go in search for him. It was the moment he met his eyes that Suguru felt safe.

“What happened?” Gojō asked, crouching down as the black-haired man sat on the side of the road, waiting for him, “Who are they?”

It was a lot of questions for him, even though it was just a couple, and he wasn’t able to explain it in the situation they were in, so he held up his hand, gesturing for him to spare the rest of the questions he had, at least for the time being.

“Help me get them into the car without them waking up, please,” he begged.

It didn’t take much effort, Mimiko and Nanako barely weighed anything. Once they were inside the car and secured, Suguru sat in the middle of the back seat, with Satoru beside him. He knew Gojō wouldn’t leave him alone for a moment, which comforted him and made him feel safe, especially when the only threat were his own thoughts. The journey back to the centre of Tokyo was silent, with the girls sleeping as one of the assistants drove. Suguru and Satoru held hands, and Suguru realised that Satoru was doing it to help him calm down because it wasn’t until that moment that he noticed he was trembling slightly.

He rested his head on the white-haired teenager’s shoulder and closed his eyes, but he didn’t sleep.

The road turned out to take forever, longer than Suguru would have liked, the silence, mixed with Satoru’s caresses helped to keep his thoughts from growing and magnifying to a point of no return, so, once they arrived, Suguru was the first to leave to help the girls. Unbeknownst to him, Gojō had called Ieiri, who was waiting for them, but what really surprised Getō was that Yaga was nowhere to be seen, and thank heavens... He didn’t have the strength to deal with his words at the moment, good, bad or just average.

The girls woke up, all thanks to Suguru's soft voice, he didn't want anyone else to do it so they would trust him.

“These are my friends, we’re at my school,” he explained, pointing to the outside of the car, “She’s going to help you if anything hurts, okay? Shall we go?”

It took a little while for them to trust Satoru and Shōko, more than it took for them to trust him, and Suguru attributed it to the fact that they had fallen asleep in the village and had woken up in a completely unfamiliar place, with people they didn’t know either. He didn’t want to be separated from them, to let them see that he was there, but he realised at that moment that he needed to be alone, and not because he blamed the girls for what had happened, not at all, but because he didn’t want them to see him looking weak like that.

With Ieiri in the lead, followed by the girls holding hands, he and Satoru were last. The black-haired man watched the backs of the younger girls, noticing his friend’s piercing gaze to the side. He understood what he meant.

It was a ‘tell me what happened’.

It was also a ‘trust me, I can help you’.

All that time apart because of Satoru’s missions and training had taken its toll on both of them, and Suguru didn’t think about that until that very moment.

“Go with her,” he said to the sisters, pointing to the infirmary where Shōko could examine them without any trouble, “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He didn’t know at the time what the girls had seen in him, but they both trusted and went into the infirmary with Ieiri, who gave both boys a glance, one of understanding, before closing the door. If he didn’t trust Ieiri, he wouldn’t leave the girls alone, but she was his best friend, never forget that.

“Let’s go outside,” was the first thing Suguru had said to Gojō since he asked him to help him get the twins into the car, “Please.”

Without another word, both boys left the corridors until they reached the exit leading to the backyard, which had three steps to get to. Suguru sat down first, and was followed closely by his friend, moving his knee until it brushed his own and Getō smiled a little, genuinely for the first time in a long while.

“You can tell me what happened, I’m not going to judge you,” Satoru confessed, though he didn’t see it as such, since to Suguru, it was a given that the white-haired man wasn’t going to do that, he never did.

“I know, it’s just-- I don’t know where to start,” he said at last, looking down at his hands, “There’s so much to say, Satoru.”

“Say it, in whatever order you need to, but tell me,” His voice was soft, not demanding.

“I haven’t been feeling well this past year,” he confessed, for the first time out loud, and it felt right to do so in front of Gojō, “I’ve been sad, I haven’t been feeling like myself, and I’ve had thoughts that have really scared me.”

A beat.

“It’s as if I have a grey cloud over my head all the time, and a pressure on my shoulders that sinks me down and prevents me from getting up, prevents me from feeling happy…”

He thought this might be news to his friend, because Suguru had been keeping it a secret. No one, for all that year, had realised that he was suffering in this way, he had always done so in silence, afraid of upsetting those he considered his friends. Satoru’s silence worried him, but he couldn’t bring himself up to talk again.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Gojō asked, after a few more seconds of silence that, for Suguru, turned into long, tedious minutes, “I could have helped you, I…”

Getō shook his head. “Because I don’t want to bother you, I don’t want you to waste your time with this.

“Suguru…”

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry, I just-- I need you to know, so I can move on.”

Satoru remained silent, which made the black-haired man suspect that, in effect, what he felt was pity towards him and the situation he was telling him he was living day by day, even though he hadn’t even told him half of it yet.

“I don’t like that you think you’re bothering me or that I’m wasting my time with you,” he said, his tone so soft that it made Getō’s hair stand up, “We’re the strongest, we’re a team... We’re best friends. You could never be a bother to me, I can help you, you can lean on my shoulder if you need it.”

“Things have changed this past year,” he commented back, as if the white-haired boy hadn’t noticed, “There's no us any more, Satoru. /You’re/ the strongest, I’m not. They send you on missions without me so I don’t get in your way, and that’s fine, I'm happy for you, it’s just-- I feel so alone, so so fucking alone, all the time.”

For the first time, in what it felt like forever, he felt his best friend’s arms against his body, hugging him so he could take out all his pain, but Suguru knew he was going to need more than that to feel good again.

“I don’t know who I’m fighting for, I don’t know why I’m doing what I’m doing,” the confession spilled from his lips, but it didn’t come alone, “Do the non-sorcerers deserve to have our lives put on the line for them?”

Gojō broke away from him, and he felt cold again. “What are you saying?”

“When I got to the village Yaga sent me to... There were a couple of curses, yes, but there were also those girls put in a cage, like monsters, Satoru. Sorcerers like us being treated like monsters when we’re the ones who take care of the problems…”

It seemed that the Satoru was able to read his mind, because at that moment he spoke again and his tone this time was one of concern, mixed with fear.

“What did you do, Suguru?”

“Nothing,” he said, to keep him calm, “Nothing. I asked them for the keys, I took the girls and I called you…”

He could hear Satoru breathing calmly now, knowing he trusted him and believed he was telling the truth. But Suguru couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth – that he had thought about burning everything down and taking the girls with him. Suguru stood up instead of remaining seated beside his best friend, he hadn’t noticed when it had started to rain, but he didn’t care about getting wet at that moment.

Perhaps the rain was washing away the tears that were beginning to fall from his eyes.

He looked up at the dark sky above them and allowed himself to sob, even in the presence of the other. Satoru had also stood up but hadn’t activated his technique to avoid getting wet. Both teenagers were soaked, but neither of them seemed to care as they merged into a hug. Suguru rested his head on one of Satoru’s shoulders. There, on that day, he left behind all the pain he had been feeling.

“I’m with you,” said his best friend, stroking his hair, “I’m not leaving, I’m staying here, with you. Don’t ever doubt it, please.”

For a second Suguru thought Gojō was going to cry, but he was afraid to look, for he knew that once he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop his own crying.

“You’re worth a lot more than you think you are, let me prove it to you.”

The dark-haired man nodded his head, his voice wouldn’t come out, but he was going to do his best to get it back.

That day he decided to get better and move forward hand in hand with his loved ones. It wasn't an easy road, but at least it wasn't a road he took alone.

Ten years later.

“Getō-sensei!” Nanako’s voice rang out from afar, on the training field. “Megumi’s cheating!”

“Come on, come on,” Suguru replied from the stands, arms crossed. It was impossible not to smile at the situation.

Two of his curses were chasing after both of them, while the rest of the first-year students watched from some lower stands. It was an exercise to strengthen teamwork and solve the problems that came their way, but it seemed they were having trouble doing so.

“It’s not cheating!” Megumi’s voice retorted as he ran to dodge the curse. “We’re on the same team.”

The curse in question used its tail to separate the formation they had opted for. Nanako fell to the ground and got up as quickly as she could, and the teacher, meanwhile, watched with the reassurance that nothing bad was going to happen to them, even allowing himself to smile and let out a small laugh.

“Listen to Megumi, Nanako! He’s right, you’re a team,” he shouted, after putting his hands near his mouth to make himself more audible.

“Looks like those two still aren’t getting along,” he heard his beloved’s voice behind him, not needing to turn around to see that it was him.

Satoru put an arm around one of his shoulders and rested most of his weight on it. Suguru didn’t complain, he was used to the white-haired man doing that sort of thing, just as he wasn’t surprised when he received a quick kiss on the cheek.

They had been together, officially, for a little over eight years, and they had made the decision when they became teachers, that displays of affection would be kept to the limit on school grounds, but he knew Satoru, he knew his love language and he wasn’t going to be the one to hold him back, knowing that the white-haired man would only do it when no one was watching, as he was doing at the moment.

“Are you surprised?” Asked Getō, who had previously let out another small chuckle, “Why do you think I put them together?”

Gojō laughed as well, without leaving his shoulder. Both teachers were silent, observing the scene, not so much as legal guardians of those teenagers, but as professors. It was important that they learned, that they trained well, because Suguru was not going to allow any more young people to go through what they and the rest of his classmates had endured.

“See you later,” Suguru said, descending the stands, though his head was turned towards his beloved. “What time will you be back?”

“Before dinner,” Satoru replied, removing the bandage as he always did before a mission. Over time, Getō had understood that he did it to be able to see him clearly before leaving. “Will you wait for me to eat together?”

“Of course, do you want me to cook something?” Suguru asked, and when he looked at Satoru, he knew he was going to put on his wounded puppy look. “What do you want, Satoru...?”

Suguru couldn’t say no to his beloved.

“I don’t care, but I want something for dessert,” he said, and then raised his hand to wave goodbye to him once more.

The dark-haired man raised his hand to mimic him as he spoke. “You got it, see you tonight.”

Both teachers had to make the most of the moments they had alone because they were scarce. If Gojō wasn’t on a mission, he was most likely teaching, just like Suguru, and if not, they had Megumi, Mimiko, and Nanako at each of their homes. Suguru didn’t know how many times they had talked about living together, perhaps as a family, but for now, it was difficult to do so for the same reason it was challenging to spend time together.

But that day, the three teenagers would be at school, and they would spend the night there since it was a weekday, although Suguru had told them they could go back home whenever they wanted. He wouldn’t force them to sleep there if they didn’t want to, of course.

The class continued, and fortunately, there were no more mishaps, so when night fell, Getō was in a very good mood. He had prepared a couple of dishes to share with Satoru when he returned from the mission, as well as a dessert as Gojō had asked. He would never admit it aloud, but he had learned to cook sweet dishes just to make them for him and see his reactions – it was an act of love, of course.

The door to Suguru's house opened, Satoru had the key so it came as no surprise, and, hearing him, he poked his head through the kitchen door as he finished washing up the last of the utensils.

“I’m home,” the white-haired man removed his blindfold after undoing his shoes.

Barefoot, he walked over to the host, who stood with open arms to greet him.

“Welcome…”

Their lips melted into a tender kiss, Suguru’s arms wrapped around Gojō’s neck, who was hugging him around the waist.

Home, huh. 

Getō felt at home when he was in his best friend’s arms.