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Blitz was just too good at his job. That was the only explanation for why both Stolas and Fizz were in constant need of his awesome bodyguard skills.
It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It was just…a lot. Not that it was too much for the “Blitz and the O is Silent” assassin to handle. Of course not.
But being a bodyguard wasn’t supposed to be Blitz’s job. He was meant to kill humans on earth, not guard a clown or a prince (and occasionally the prince’s daughter). And Blitz knew who was responsible for his new unwanted career.
The shitshow with Mammon had caused Asmodeus to express some concern about Fizz going by himself and Blitz couldn’t help but agree. Fizz wasn’t exactly great with confrontation, and the only time he ever stood up to anyone was mainly when he was pissed at Blitz.
His standing up to Mammon had come as a surprise to Blitz, and to everyone else who knew the imp.
Now that Fizz and Asmodeus’ relationship was out, Hell’s population was torn about how they felt about it. The two of them dating was very hypocritical considering how often they both talked about Lust being completely different and way better than love. But there were a lot of demons and Hellborn who were on the couple’s side, saying it was nice that the King had found love and that Fizz seemed way happier now that he wasn’t working with Mammon.
Those who disagreed, however, made their opinion well known, especially on social media.
Add in Fizz’s recent kidnapping and how petty Mammon could be when he felt like he’d been wronged, and Blitz was just as concerned about Fizz’s safety as Asmodeus was.
So he immediately agreed the first time he was asked to accompany Fizz to some sponsorship meeting when Asmodeus couldn’t escort the performer himself.
Everything went well, as did the next couple of times Asmodeus asked for Blitz to play the bodyguard. He thought that with everything going okay, Asmodeus would eventually stop asking.
Boy was he wrong.
Every time Fizz had to go somewhere without Asmodeus, Blitz was called. Every. Single. Time.
Nothing ever happened, and after a couple of months of this going on, Blitz felt like it was getting a little ridiculous.
Still…he kept saying yes whenever he was asked, glad to have a chance to help Fizz and grateful for their time together where the two imps could catch up.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if Stolas hadn’t also started hiring Blitz the Bodyguard™.
The prince and the boss of I.M.P. had dealt with their various issues and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship. When Blitz and Stolas first started dating, it led to a lot of honesty. This meant Blitz finally ‘fessed up about the first time Striker tried to kill the owl.
This had concerned Stolas to the point where both he and Octavia had security every time they left the palace. That did not extend to Stella, wherever she was. That bitch could die and Blitz would dance on her grave happily.
Whether Stolas was trying to bond with his new boyfriend or just wanted an excuse to see Blitz in uniform, the prince hired Blitz several times throughout the week as his personal bodyguard.
Between guarding Fizz, Stolas, and occasionally Octavia, and working with his employees at I.M.P., Blitz was getting a little tired.
Not so much that he was beginning to feel overwhelmed or anything, of course. Blitz was fine. He might need more coffee every morning and had started to come home at odd hours in the early morning, but he could keep going.
Loona didn’t seem to agree.
“You’ve been pretty busy lately with Fizz and Stolas. I didn’t even hear you come in last night. Do you even sleep anymore?” Loona had asked on one of his rare nights off, where no one needed to be guarded or killed.
Blitz’s daughter had her eyes on her phone, and were it not for Blitz’s years of experience in deciphering Loona’s complicated way of showing her emotions based on her tone, he might not have noticed the concern in her voice.
He fought the urge to tear up at the fact that she was worried about him. Even if it was unwarranted in his opinion.
“Look, it’s just temporary. The buzz around the rooster and clown will die down, and when I find Striker, I’ll kill the asshole then everything will go back to how it used to be,” Blitz stated with a reassuring smile. “Then I’ll be around so much, you’ll get sick of me.”
“Who says I’m not already?” Loona deadpanned. Then she paused, and after a moment of hesitation, she continued. “You can say no if it’s too much. I’m sure they’d get it.”
Her face heated up and Loona quickly headed to her room, the conversation probably getting too personal for her liking.
Blitz shook his head fondly before he got comfy on his couch. He contemplated what his hellhound daughter had said, but he knew she couldn’t possibly understand what was going on.
For the first time in years, FIzz didn’t hate him. He wanted Blitz around. If Blitz blew off a bodyguarding gig, Fizz might think that he didn’t care.
They’d made too much progress after being kidnapped together and dealing with Mammon for Blitz to lose Fizz again.
And with Stolas…they were finally becoming something . He finally had a chance with the prince and he was not about to screw that up by turning down a chance to help his boyfriend.
Not to mention the fact that on the rare occasion Blitz actually guarded Octavia, he had a chance to form some kind of relationship with the princess where he wasn’t just the imp that destroyed her parents’ marriage. Even if it had been a loveless one from the start. Granted, she now complained about how horse-obsessed the “weirdo my dad likes” Blitz was but it was a start.
‘I can keep going,’ Blitz thought to himself as he got ready for some much-needed sleep. ‘What could go wrong?’
Blitz winced as soon as the portal closed and he was left alone in his living room. He’d put on a brave face for Stolas after his little “incident”, but his ribs fucking hurt!
He had gone with Stolas to this charity event in the Evny Ring, the best place to get donations. Everyone envied one another so much they were constantly trying to outdo one another by donating big bucks to whatever charity was happening.
Yeah, Blitz wasn’t quite sure how it worked, but Stolas did raise a lotta money that afternoon.
Everything had seemed okay, there was even a ‘no weapons allowed’ policy that everyone besides security had to follow (Blitz could now count himself as security, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it). The people there seemed envious but friendly enough whenever they were talking to Stolas, and that was all Blitz really cared about.
Okay, maybe he cared about how Stolas was a little flirty, and Blitz would be lying if he said he didn’t love trying to ignore it since he was on the clock.
Then some drunk idiot ruined everything by throwing a steak knife at Stolas while screaming “Down with the blue-bloods!”
Blitz had caught it, of course, the blade grazing his palm. Then the imp had tackled the wannabe assassin. The dummy fought back, elbowing Blitz in the ribs harshly, shoving the now-injured imp to the ground. It knocked the wind out of Blitz and it took longer than he would’ve liked to pin the guy down until other members of security were able to escort him out.
Stolas had quickly rushed Blitz out of the room to check on his beloved bodyguard. He’d fussed over him, bandaging his hand up ever so delicately and the prince looked at Blitz with worry in his eyes and a quivering beak.
The imp hadn’t had the heart to admit how much pain he was in or how his chest was starting to hurt whenever he breathed too deeply.
However, alone in his home, Blitz started to think that he should have said something. Stolas might have a healing spell or something he could use.
Just as Blitz had decided to call Stolas back and admit the truth, he heard the sound of circus music coming from his phone; his ringtone for Fizz.
“Please don’t be a job, please don’t be a job,” Blitz crossed his fingers for luck before he answered the phone. “Heyyy, what’s up?”
“Hey Blitz,” Fizz responded cheerily. “Oz wants to know if you can come with me to a meeting I’ve got in Greed. You up for the job?”
No luck for Blitz, apparently.
Blitz groaned inwardly as he thought about it. On the one hand, he was in a helluva lot of pain. On the other hand, Fizz was going to the Greed Ring. The Ring that was controlled by Mammon, the guy who was being dragged through the mud on social media thanks to Fizz.
Most people might know Blitz as a selfish asshole that only cared about himself, but even he knows that the 7 Sins aren’t meant to be messed with. Sure, Fizz might have Asmodeus on his side, but Mammom was the embodiment of Greed. Greed didn’t like to lose things they considered theirs, especially money. And without Fizz, Mammon had lost a lot of money.
When you put it that way, Blitz really felt like he had no choice but to say…
“Of course. Tell me when and where to meet you.”
“Great! See you soon,” Fizz said before hanging up. Blitz reached for some painkillers, trying to prepare as best he could for what was sure to be a terrible night.
“Fuck, get down!” Blitz exclaimed as he shot Fizz bot after Fizz bot, turning his head for a brief second to make sure that the real Fizz was still safe behind him. “Christ on a stick, how many of these did your boy toy make?”
“How should I know?” Fizz asked, the performer pressed against Blitz’s back.
Fizz’s production meeting that ASmodeus couldn’t make in Greed had led to a surprise attack by Satan knows how many Fizz bots.
And Mammom, that piece of shit, had somehow programmed the bots to play the same threatening message about not fucking around or something like that. The message was kinda lost as the voices overlapped one another.
As if the flexible arms weren’t enough of a problem, the various weapons they had made it difficult for Blitz to keep shooting while ensuring that Fizz was safe. Clubs, old-timey maces, throwing knives, and even a couple of axes kept being aimed at poor Fizz.
Maybe it would’ve been a little more manageable had he been able to breathe normally, and if he could raise his arms all the way without feeling like his ribs were on fire.
With all these Fizz bots surrounding Blitz and Fizz, the assassin was tempted to just set them all on fire like he did at Loo Loo Land, but he had a feeling that might be a tiny bit traumatizing for the actual Fizz.
“Alright, here’s the plan,” Blitz said as he felt his arms start to tremble. “When I give the signal, we’re gonna make a run for it and try to get back to that insane limo of yours.”
Fizz mumbled a quiet ‘okay’, and Blitz winced as he realized how freaked out his childhood friend must be right now. He hoped that if they made it out of this, Asmodeus would consider getting a bodyguard team instead of relying on just Blitz.
He created an opening by shooting a bunch of bots in one area and waved his gun in the air two times, biting his lip to keep from groaning and his chest seized up for a moment.
After a moment with nothing happening, Blitz turned to face Fizz.
“That was the signal!” Blitz sighed and grabbed Fizz’s hand as he started to run, pulling the two imps away from the robots.
“That’s a dumbass signal,” Fizz huffed as they ran, rounding a corner. “Look, if we can get back to the limo, I can use an Asmodean Crystal to teleport us back to my place.”
“You have one of those just lying around your limo?” Blitz asked in bewilderment as he spotted said limo in the distance. He was gasping at this point, and he hoped Fizz couldn’t tell how Blitz was starting to slow down.
“Yeah for emergencies like this!” Fizz yelled.
“Well, that’s just stupid- oh shit!” Blitz cursed as he looked behind them and saw a bot aiming a damn gun at them. He could’ve sworn none of the bots had guns earlier.
His heart stopped as the robot aimed its weapon right at Fizz’s head.
“Fizz, look out!” Blitz cried out as he quickly shoved Fizz to the ground.
“What, why- Blitz!” Fizz screamed as the gun went off.
Blitz had been shot at before, one of the “perks” of his job. It hurt like Hell, which is why he’d developed some great techniques to avoid being shot.
Had he been a little quicker, had he not been so damn tired, and had his torso not hurt whenever he moved, maybe he wouldn’t have found himself helpless to do anything as the bullet came for him.
At least when the bullet entered his body, it was through his shoulder that now felt like Satan had ripped his flesh off his bones and not through Fizz’s head.
Despite the excruciating pain, Blitz was still clear-headed enough to realize that he and Fizz were still in danger. So he grabbed Fizz and hightailed it back to the limo, feeling a sense of relief as the door slammed behind them.
He heard Fizz frantically searching for something as Blitz hastily ripped off a piece of his jacket and applied pressure to the bleeding hole in his body. Albeit, very weak pressure as his hands shook and Blitz felt his vision blurring.
“Fuck, fuck, we gotta get you to a hospital or something,” Fizz stammered, his eyes tearing up as he finally found the Asmodean Crystal.
Blitz groaned softly as Fizz used one of his extended arms to put more pressure on the slowly reddening fabric.
“I’m fine, nothing some ice and sleep won’t heal,” Blitz said while attempting to smile reassuringly, though he was sure it looked more like a grimace.
“Don’t try to play the fucking hero, you’re terrible at it,” Fizz joked with a sad smile on his face. Then he looked at the crystal. “Alright, let’s get you- B?”
Blitz was vaguely aware that he was losing consciousness, half-listening to Fizz’s frantic requests to stay awake.
As he drifted off, he thought about how glad he was that only one of the Fizz bots had a gun. They would’ve been fucked otherwise.
At some point, Blitz gained a little consciousness as he heard various snippets of a conversation. However, he was unable to speak or even open his eyes, so he was forced to listen to the concerned voices that surrounded him.
“...Oh Blitzy…”
“....What the Hell was he doing with me if he’d already done a job for you….”
“....He’s banged up pretty bad….”
“...He’ll be alright, Fizzie…”
“....Wake up, asshole…please….”
Blitz desperately wished he could say something, anything, but then he felt himself being pulled back into the darkness once more.
The next time that Blitz woke up, he had a pounding headache and his throat felt really dry. His shoulder, however, surprisingly did not feel like it was on fire. It was more numb than anything, though he was sure it was because of some kind of drug.
Blitz grunted as he blinked his eyes open, and he took notice that he was in a fancy bedroom with a bunch of hospital machines. His bad arm seemed to be hooked up to one of the machines, which was beeping slowly but steadily.
He wondered what had happened before the memories came rushing back, and he tried to get out of bed as he remembered that he’d left Fizz to deal with the aftermath of the sneak attack.
A large blue hand stopped him, and Blitz groaned as he felt his body protest his actions. He eventually gave up and decided to just lay back down.
“Whoa there, you are in no shape to be leaping outta bed.”
Blitz recognized that voice from all the phone calls he’d had with the Sin of Lust. He glanced up at Asmodeus, who was staring at the imp with concern, something he’d never seen on the King except when it came to Fizz.
“Where are we?” Blitz asked tiredly. Asmodeus checked the beeping machine before he answered, staring down at the assassin.
“One of my guest rooms. I thought it might be safer to have you recover here than in a hospital where someone might recognize you. We both know you’ve got a ton of enemies,” Asmodeus laughed and Blitz couldn’t help but smile in response. “Oh, but you’re welcome to go to Stolas’ whenever you like. Fizz was just so worried-”
“Fizz,” Blitz grabbed onto Asmodeus’ arm. “Is he okay?”
Asmodeus rolled his eyes as he gently pried Blitz’s arm off, patting the imp’s hand in reassurance.
“He’s fine, thanks to you. And from what I hear, Stolas has you to thank as well,” Asmodeus gave Blitz a pointed look, and the imp squirmed under the King’s judgemental gaze. “Doctor said the fractured ribs and bruised lung were probably from the guy you tackled earlier. Sounds like you shouldn’t have been guarding Fizz with those kinds of injuries.”
“I was fine!” Blitz insisted. “Fizz was going to Greed! After what happened, he clearly needed someone to go with him.”
“And you clearly needed some rest!” Asmodeus argued. “Do you realize how serious this is? You could’ve died. I appreciate you looking out for Fizz but if you were hurting, or if you’d already done a job for Stolas, then you should’ve said no.”
Blitz attempted to cross his arms but realized it wouldn’t work with the sling, so he just leaned back with a huff, avoiding Asmodeus’ eyes. He knew the Sin was right, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it.
Asmodeus sighed and snapped his fingers, making a small chair appear beside Blitz’s bed as the large demon took a seat. He waited until Blitz made eye contact before speaking.
“Stolas told Fizz and me that you’ve been guarding both him and Octavia. While also doing jobs for me, and working at I.M.P.” Asmodeus stated. “Then Stolas called Loona to let her know what happened, and she told us that you’ve been pretty tired lately and that she’s hardly seen you outside of work. Seems like maybe you’ve been overdoing it.”
“They needed me,” Blitz murmured. He made a mental note to talk to Loona when he had a chance, and maybe admit that she was right to be worried. He sighed as he looked down at himself, at the bandages wrapped around his chest and shoulder, at his sling. Asmodeus was right; he’d tried to do too much. Still…“I didn’t want to let them down.”
Asmodeus looked at him with something akin to sympathy; not pity though. Blitz would never stand to have someone pity him, especially not Fizz’s royal boyfriend.
“I’m glad you’ve taken these jobs seriously, but,” Asmodeus had a grim look on his face that didn’t seem to match the usually loud and confident King. “But you didn’t see Fizz carrying you with tears in his eyes as he begged for help. You didn’t see how frantic Stolas was when he portaled here before I could even hang up the phone. You didn’t hear your daughter’s voice when she heard the news. You said they need you? Well did you ever think that maybe they need you alive, Blitz?”
Blitz didn’t know how to respond to that.
Enemies always wanted Blitz dead, whether it was serious enemies or just random people Blitz managed to piss off. His sister wanted him dead. Hell, sometimes Blitz wanted Blitz dead.
Sacrificing his sleep, his spare time, his health, and his life if he wasn’t careful…that hadn’t seemed like something anyone would care about.
A little, irritating voice in his head that sounded a lot like Moxxie told him that if he bothered to talk to either Fizz or Stolas, then he would’ve realized that ‘no one who actually cares about you wants you dead, sir. Next time, just tell them how you feel!’
Blitz wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank the actual Moxxie the next time he saw the guy or whether he wanted to slap him for becoming Blitz’s annoying conscience.
“You might have a point,” Blitz said with a sigh. “Are they mad?”
“We’re more worried than anything, darling,” Stolas’ voice rang loud and clear in the quiet bedroom. Blitz looked up to see both Stolas and Fizz standing in the doorway, looking at him with such worry, like they…like they cared.
The imp smiled sheepishly and raised his good arm, purring softly when Stolas wasted no time in hugging Blitz as carefully as possible.
“Never scare me like that again,” Stolas admonished, though the seriousness of his statement was a stark contrast to the way he was nuzzling into Blitz and pecking his forehead softly.
“Sorry, hoots,” Blitz whispered before glancing over at the jester, who had walked over to where Asmodeus was sitting and settled down into the King’s lap. “You doing alright, Fizz?”
“I’m fine. Saw my best friend get shot for me and thought he was gonna die, but you know. It’s fine,” Fizz glared and Blitz winced when he heard the hurt in his friend’s voice.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Blitz leaned against the pillow, giving Stolas a moment to get adjusted. The owl was taking up more room on the bed than the imp, and it was a tad embarrassing to be seen cuddling Stolas in front of Fizz and a literal Sin, but he wasn’t going to tell the prince that. He clearly needed some comfort of his own and Blitz would never deny him that. “Things have been going so well. Honestly, you guys probably didn’t need me guarding you up until now. I figured it’d be an easy gig and I could sleep it off when I got home.”
Stolas tsked and looked at Blitz with a frown.
“You didn’t tell me you were hurt. You also didn’t tell me how much you’ve been doing,” Stolas shook his head and Blitz felt like a child being scolded. “I could have hired someone else if I’d known you were already guarding Fizzarolli.”
Blitz groaned and closed his eyes.
“This wasn't supposed to be a big deal. I thought we’d have gotten Striker by now, and that things woulda died down by now about Fizz and Asmodeus,” Blitz admitted. “And I didn’t want anyone getting mad if I said no too many times. Satan knows how many people I’ve pissed off by not taking jobs.”
“For fuck’s sake, I am not that shallow!” Fizz yelled as he stood up and pointed a finger at Blitz. “I’m not gonna be mad and stop talking to you because you don’t do what I want.”
“And I certainly won’t mind hiring someone else if it means you get a break, sweetheart,” Stolas added with a soft smile. “You won’t be messing anything up with us if you want to focus your talents on your actual job.”
Blitz had to resist the urge to cry and settled for curling into Stolas so his face was hidden from everyone.
“On that note, I would like to say that you will not be doing any more jobs looking out for Fizz until you are fully recovered, and that will only be when I cannot find anyone else to escort him,” Asmodeus stated firmly, and Blitz felt a sense of relief as he nodded to show he’d heard the Sin.
“The same goes for me,” Stolas said before he lifted Blitz’s head up to look at him sternly. “You will be recovering at my palace, or at your apartment if you wish, though I will most definitely be checking in on you daily. I do not wish for you to work as a guard or as an assassin until you are completely healed.”
“Alright, alright,” Blitz conceded with a small smile.
Did it break his heart a little that he felt like he was no longer needed as a bodyguard? Yes. But did he also feel a little happy that he was needed to the point where his boyfriend and friend wanted him to get better before he did any kind of work? Also yes.
After a little more talking, as well as some instructions about taking care of his injuries, Blitz felt himself falling asleep as the night progressed.
He barely noticed as Fizz and Asmodeus snuck out of the room, too busy drifting off to the sound of Stolas’ breathing and the little beeps from the machine.
Weeks later, Blitz was finally cleared to do ‘easy’ missions for I.M.P. He hadn’t anticipated Moxxie and Millie’s reactions being quite so…sweet.
“Sir, here’s your iced coffee and some painkillers. Do you need anything else?”
“Blitz, I moved the couch into your office in case you need to lie down.”
“Do you want me to go get you something to eat, sir?”
“How are you feeling, hun?”
“Nuh-uh, stay right there, I’ll get it for you, B, you stay in your chair.”
“Let me do that for you, boss. Get some rest.”
It took a while for the couple to tone down the slightly overbearing behavior, but Blitz appreciated the sentiment.
Loona was also very caring. In her own way.
She made sure he took his meds by asking, usually via text. She started to drive the van so Blitz didn’t have to strain his arm. And Satan did she go ballistic whenever Blitz was shot at on a mission.
The employees of I.M.P. weren’t the only ones treating Blitz a little differently.
Fizz called a lot more, usually just to see how Blitz was doing and to try and arrange times for them to hang out. They tended to stay at either Asmodeus’ palace or Stolas’ so that Blitz didn’t have to be on guard duty.
And while Blitz didn’t really talk to Asmodeus one-on-one, the Sin always seemed to be happy or at least fine with Blitz being around whenever the imp was visiting.
Stolas…well, if Blitz had thought Stolas was affectionate beforehand, he was even more so now. He was constantly trying to hold Blitz and carry him places, always texting throughout the day to check in on the imp, and even spent the night at Blitz’s shabby apartment from time to time.
Even Octavia seemed a little nicer, occasionally getting Blitz the odd horse knick-knack with a groan about how she couldn’t see a horse without thinking of the imp. He had Moxxie help him put a shelf up in his office to showcase her gifts.
As Blitz lay on his couch one late night, thinking about how his life had turned out, he couldn’t help but smile.
Maybe that little voice had been right; maybe the ones he loved and cared about didn’t want him dead or to be some self-sacrificing idiot. Maybe they genuinely wanted Blitz around.
Maybe he could let himself be taken care of, for once in his life. Let himself be loved.
What could go wrong?
Striker sighed as he got off the phone with his latest client. She’d forbidden him from killing that stupid Goetian Prince for the time being.
But he could be patient. He could wait until the time was right.
He glanced at his target board that had a picture of a certain imp taped to it. Blitz’s eyes were crossed out and several darts surrounded that idiot assassin’s face.
Striker aimed yet another dart and smirked as it hit Blitz right in the heart.
Even if he couldn’t go after Stolas, that didn’t mean he couldn’t go after a certain pain in his ass.
“Just you wait, bird fucker. I’m gonna make you regret the moment you got involved in that blue blood’s life.”