Work Text:
Kanji's arms are strong in a way she's unfamiliar with.
When his hands finally touch her sides, they're shaking. He doesn't grip, fingers barely even pressing skin through her blouse. She traces his knuckles with her thumb, quietly letting him know that it's okay.
His arms are still taut, muscles clenching themselves into place, and with every move Rise makes she feels him jolt even stiffer. It's a little concerning, honestly--not at all what she wants all this to be--but he's cute, and obviously just nervous, so she figures the kinks can be worked out in the coming months. If nothing else, smoothing over these bumps is a challenge that she's excited about.
She pulls her mouth away from his to breathe, and to laugh a little. Her eyes open to Kanji's furrowed brow, mouth still slightly agape like he just stepped on somebody's foot.
"You okay?" she asks, only half joking.
"Y-yeah." His voice hardly there, just air coming out. "Sorry--sorry." He turns his head away to clear his throat, realizing how weak he sounds.
She decides to give him this moment of rest, and leans forward to nuzzle her head into the nook of his shoulder. His hand turns to stone again, and she slides her own up his arm, softly tracing around the curves of muscles, until she slips it around his back.
"It's okay, silly." She laughs again, kind of low, but giddy. There’s a quality to her laugh that only Kanji can bring out. She’s always liked that.
There's a few minutes of silence as they sit like this, Rise halfway into his lap and smiling against his skin. She wants to kiss it very very badly, but he's finally starting to relax, and only a monster would startle him again that soon. She tucks the temptation away for later.
"I, um..."
"Mm?"
"I like...doin' this."
This was only the third time they'd kissed--assuming you take this whole session as a single instance. The first time, he'd leaned in out of nowhere in the middle of a study session. It was soft, and slow, and he'd even made her blush with how unexpected it was. Sadly that just happened to be the exact moment his mom wanted him home by, so he had to leave right away, and he'd see her at school tomorrow.
But that last part was a lie, for all intents and purposes, and she was peeved about it. He didn't look at her even once during class, when she had this perfect flirty smile ready to send his way. Then the second lunch started, off he ran! She kind of expected it, but there’s no way she was gonna let him get away with it. It’s a good thing he left his textbook in her room last night. That made it a lot easier.
Then was the second one. Cornering him on the roof, thankful that nobody else was up there, she grabbed him by the collar, stood up on her tippy-toes and kissed him. It was barely a peck, honestly, and she wanted to do more, but again--she's not a monster. Poor Kanji couldn't get a word out with just that much. She told him that now they're even, next time they'd both start it together, and skipped off to let him process things.
Or to keep herself from panicking about his reaction. More so that one, probably.
"Well, I'd hope so! I like it too."
Now it's been a week since their first, another Sunday, and they're in Rise's room again. Asking to come over to his place and doing this with his mom in the other room would make things ten times more difficult. She pretends to herself that it doesn't sound a little appealing. Maybe someday.
"I'm, just...'m not...good at..."
"Oh, shush. You know how many crappy kisses I've dealt with in my career? You're fine." At least your kisses feel honest, she almost says, but that might be a little too real for her right now.
She pulls away to get a peek at his face, and he has that puppydog look she's always found really hard to resist on him. But it makes her frown right now. She feels some insecurities bubble to the surface.
"What’s up? I’m not comparing this to stuff I’ve done for work, if that’s--”
"S'not it." That's the loudest he's been since he got here, but it's still hardly a bark. She sits back down beside him, watching his mouth twist slightly as he tries to finish that sentence.
"...I'm not...good at...showin' how I feel, like this. I still can't calm down. I wish I--" He swallows, realizing how dry his voice was getting. "I wish I wasn't...scared. I don't wanna be so awkward...or make you think I’m lyin’ about anything."
That part pierces her chest, ever so slightly, and it’s hard to stop a tiny smile from appearing on her face. Kanji’s, like, one of the most honest people she knows. It’s crazy that he’d think that, but...
It’s not like I don’t think the same thing of myself. If it were anyone else, I might actually doubt them. But not you. You’re the last one I’d expect to lie to me.
But that doesn’t come out. Not today, anyway.
She crosses her arms dramatically and uses her stern voice. "Well, Kanji, you aren't gonna convince me by just sitting there and NOT letting me kiss you, are you?"
“But it’s still--”
"Shush!!!" Now she leans forward again, this time to push a hand into his chest. It's hard, but he's soft, and she barely has to exert any effort to get him flat on the bed.
"You're just trying too hard, y'know? So how about this..." She scoots herself away from the edge of the bed, getting comfortable laying on her side next to him. Her hand never leaves his chest, a few fingers lightly gripping the collar of his tank top.
"I'll do all the work. Just relax and enjoy, okay?"
"But what about y--"
"C'mon, it'll probably be more fun for me than you this way! All you have to do is focus on staying relaxed."
He looks up at her, eyes anxious and lips dry. "O...okay."
She almost pumps her fist, but settles on a wry smile, wasting no time in lowering her mouth onto his.
He tenses up immediately, and she expected that. Rome wasn't built in a day, or whatever. But she'll melt him if it suffocates her.
The hand on his chest glides across the fabric, occasionally reaching above to touch flesh. It's warm, and his heartbeat echoes through every muscle in both their bodies. It’s hard not to feel a little frantic with it pounding against her like that.
A lot of temptations breeze coolly through her head. Maybe she could lift one of her legs and intertwine it with his. She could even go as far as straddling, or sticking a hand up his shirt, or--any number of things, honestly.
But that would be too much, probably. This is practice. They can get there eventually, if Kanji's okay with that (and she thinks he would be). So for now, she aims to soothe. Her touch is soft, tracing gentle circles over the most innocent parts of his torso.
There's no tongue, no biting--not today. Just some soft pulling on his upper lip, only a few times at once, giving him chance to breathe. But she makes sure to press close enough that he can feel every slight smirk and satisfied sigh. He tries to stay quiet, but his voice slips out in his breath now and again, and she takes each one as a tiny, personal victory.
Her second hand moves to make contact with Kanji's, and much to her surprise and delight, it's completely limp. She intertwines her fingers with his, finding it hard to conceal her giggling, and he squeezes back--softly.
She finally pulls away more than a few inches, and when she opens her eyes, his are still closed. It takes a few seconds before they flutter open, and she relishes the opportunity to watch his first reaction to her slightly-smug, incredibly-fond, and completely-flushed face.
He smiles back, and it's small, but he chuckles nervously. "I-I think it's working."
"You don't say."
When she leaves his chest to cup his cheek, she's surprised to feel a hand touch the back of hers. He's still shaking, slightly, and it's clumsy--but he rubs hers slowly, and she feels him swallow as he stares back up at her.
"You're so cute."
"Sh-shut up," and his voice is slightly deeper than it has been today, but it's good to know that his buttons can still be pressed whenever she wants.
It’s Kanji that leans towards her this time, and her eyes go a little wider than she'd ever admit, before they shut themselves again.
You’re the most honest person I know, she thinks again, and it’s hard to contain the butterflies in her stomach.