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Rumors

Summary:

Kushina: "Wanna explain the rumor going around about this "Housewife Summoning Jutsu" of yours?"
Or...
The Red-Hot Habanero wants in on the fun.

Notes:

Technically this is a direct sequel/continuation of a previous short in this folder, "I've Got A Plan (A Good Plan)"...and you might need to read that for context. May, mind, but you may not...just sayin'.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

[Fugaku sitting in a bar in the Uchiha District, minding his business and drinking sake]

Kushina: (sits down next to Fugaku) "Sooo...Fugaku."

Fugaku: (sets his empty cup down) "So, Kushina."

Kushina: (serious face) "Wanna explain the rumor going around about this "Housewife Summoning Jutsu" of yours?"

[Kushina and Fugaku stare silently at each other...then start laughing]

Fugaku: "Ino-Shika-Cho are bigger assholes than I thought!" (waves for a cup to be brought over for Kushina)

Kushina: (claps a hand on Fugaku's shoulder; wipes her eyes) "Please give me ALL the details! Minato's been ranting about it ever since Kakashi-kun brought it up a week ago! There's been so much angry baking and dishwashing you don't even want to know."

Fugaku: (smirks; pours himself and Kushina sake) "How long have you got, Red?"

Kushina: (accepts the filled cup; grins) "How much sake does the Uchiha District have?"

Fugaku: "Okay, so short version then."

Kushina: (play-punches Fugaku's bicep; still grinning) "Jerk."

Fugaku: (laughs; rests his chin on his fist) "Namikaze acts like a housewife...and calling him that pisses him off to no end, and for my own entertainment, I started saying "release the housewife" to get a reaction out of him, but it's gotten to the point where I can shout it and he'll tear through enemy shinobi like a battering ram 'cause he wants to kick my ass."

Kushina: (laughing) "That tracks! Think I can get away with using it?"

Fugaku: "I will pay actual money to see that!"

Notes:

Please...ffs, do not take this seriously.
This scene popped into my brain jello at work and, as I would fail at drawing it in comic form, I had to write it out.
I'll see myself out to the trash can.

Series this work belongs to: