Chapter Text
Otoya was straight. There wasn’t much to it, really. He thought girls were hot, girls thought he was hot, and so he dated them. But honestly he didn’t really understand why people put so much emphasis on dating. Like sure, maybe he enjoyed looking at pretty girls and making them laugh and kissing them and all that shit, but if you were to ask him? Actual relationships were such a drag.
It had been three weeks since his last relationship ended. His girlfriend was hot and he really should’ve liked her for longer than he did, but after going on some dates and hooking up a few times he just got bored and ended up dumping her so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. He didn’t feel bad about it, but apparently he was supposed to? It was like there was this weird disconnect between how everyone else thought of dating and the reality of how dating actually was for him. So while he didn’t miss his ex, or any of his other exes for that matter, he still couldn’t stop thinking about what was so different with his relationships than the ones he heard of from other people. It made him feel… strange. He didn’t like it.
Why couldn’t this stupid philosophy class he was in help him solve situations like this instead of trying to solve dumb unexplainable shit? He glared at his untouched assignment and in that moment decided that he didn’t care to be a good student anymore. The silence was bothering him too much.
“I don’t get it,” Otoya said aloud, hoping that one of the people sitting at the lounge table with him would take the bait and respond.
And as expected, his dear friend Yukimiya looked up from his own reading to see what was wrong. He really was too easy sometimes. “What, your homework? I told you to go to your professor if you couldn’t understand the readings... Those books are difficult ones to grasp even for philosophy majors.”
Otoya couldn’t help but cringe a bit because Yukimiya wasn’t wrong; these readings were near incomprehensible. But that wasn’t even his real problem right now. “Well yeah, but no. I just never got why people care so much about dating and getting married and shit. How do they not get tired of it after a while?”
Yukimiya clearly wasn’t expecting that question and just frowned at him a bit, looking like he was trying to figure out how to respond. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to yet.
“Maybe because they enjoy their partner’s company? Maybe even love them? Ever thought'a that?” Karasu quipped directly across from him, looking slightly annoyed over having his focus broken by this of all topics. Or maybe the guy just hadn’t fully gotten over the mini argument the two of them had earlier that month over Otoya dumping yet another girlfriend.
In Otoya’s defense, it wasn’t like he was mean to her about it. In fact, he thought he let her down easy. If Karasu was right and she cried about it afterwards, how was that his fault? It would’ve been worse if he kept dating her just to pass the time! He didn’t even know why Karasu cared about his ex so much anyway. Didn’t he hate when people got all sad and sappy over nothing?
“Duh, I’m not an idiot-”
“Debatable,” Karasu quickly cut him off.
Really? Otoya gave him the most deadpan look he could muster. “... I just feel like that would get so boring,” he eventually finished after a purposeful pause.
Bachira, who honestly was only here because Otoya liked dragging him to study sessions in hopes that he could help derail his other friends’ annoying school talk, did his part by joining in the conversation. “Haven’t you dated like a billion people before?” he asked despite already knowing the answer. Otoya was one of those people with a sort of reputation on campus, after all.
“Don’t give him that much credit, please,” Yukimiya said with a sigh, feigning exasperation.
Besides faking his own sigh to mock him, Otoya decided to ignore that comment. He didn’t want to get distracted from the main topic. It was important! “I’m saying this because I’ve dated a ton of girls before. I don’t get why they’re so hot but get so boring after the first few dates.”
But when Bachira was the one giving him an unhappy look, he couldn’t ignore it.
“What?” he asked, his tone confused. What’d he do wrong? He was just being honest.
But instead of hearing an answer from Bachira, Karasu was the one who responded first. “You sound like a douche, man.”
Otoya scoffed. Yeah, like he was one to talk.
“Do you even like the girls you date or do you just think they’re hot?” Yukimiya then asked, adding on to Karasu’s comment. It wasn’t often that the two of them teamed up to get on his nerves -- usually it was him and Karasu pestering poor Yukki -- but they were annoyingly good at making Otoya sound much more like an asshole than he really was. Because really, he wasn’t that bad of a guy sometimes. His friends just sucked.
“Of course I like them,” Otoya insisted, because that was obvious. How could he not like girls?
It took his other friend more than a few seconds to decide if he actually wanted to entertain this topic for the second time this month, but eventually he caved. “Okay, I really don’t know why we’re talking about this right now, but I’ll bite. What did'ja like about Emi? You guys dated for like a month an' a half, right?” he asked, giving his friend a very pointed look. It was like he already knew the answer, which was kind of frustrating but Otoya ignored it.
Now, admittedly it took him more than two seconds to think of an answer on the spot, which apparently was too much time for everyone at the table because Karasu raised a singular eyebrow at him, Yukimiya slowly began to shake his head, and Bachira urged him to talk with an insistent, “... well?”
“I mean…” The more his friends stared him down the harder it was to think properly, so eventually he just said the first thing that came to mind. “She had a cute laugh and she thought I was funny.” That was good enough, right?
When none of his friends looked at all pleased with his answer, Otoya could hear a buzzer go off in his head. Wrong answer, apparently.
Yukimiya briefly closed his eyes and forced down another sigh. “So she was attractive and gave you an ego boost?” he questioned, which Otoya thought was an unfair thing to ask because he clearly did not say that and Yukki was way too good at twisting his words. Not cool.
Thankfully Karasu for once didn’t add fuel to that fire and instead chose to move on to a different ex of Otoya’s. “What about that Spanish exchange student you dated, Lucia?”
Was he seriously bringing up Lucia of all people? “Dude c’mon, did you see her t-”
“Besides her tits, Otoya!” Karasu interrupted, showing signs of someone beginning to lose their patience. “What did you like about her ?” he tried asking again in hopes that he would get a more serious answer.
Now, to Otoya it was obvious that he only dated Lucia because she was like the hottest girl he had ever laid eyes on, and she had only gone out with him because she wanted something to do in her last few weeks before flying back to Spain. There really wasn’t much to it, but for his friend’s sake he tried to think of something. “... Her accent?”
Another buzzer sounded in his head when his friend gave him an unimpressed look, but he felt like that one was a bit unfair too. Did Karasu seriously not understand the concept of a fling? “I only dated her for a few weeks, cut me some slack!”
“Fine, fine…” Karasu relented and rested his chin in his hand as he thought of a better girl to mention. “Soo-ah?” he suggested eventually, almost looking hopeful. Otoya had dated her the longest out of any of his college girlfriends, so if there was anyone who he could speak positively about then it would be her.
It felt like this answer was important, so Otoya really tried. What was a positive trait that wasn’t about her appearance that he could remember? “She was… nice? Yeah, she was nice to talk to and she looked out for me a lot. I broke up with her because I just wasn’t feeling it, you know? Wasn’t fair for her to be with someone who didn’t care to be with her anymore… That’s something, right?” he answered honestly. There was no way that was a bad answer, and if any of his friends even so much as gave him a look he would call them out on their bullshit.
Thankfully, Yukki seemed to agree with him. “Not bad, actually,” he admitted, but then his gaze turned sharp and he suddenly asked, “but what was her favorite color?”
Damn it.
Otoya scrambled to think of what Soo-ah’s favorite color could have been. He remembered one time she wore a light green dress to a party and she looked hot as hell, but then he remembered her saying that she wore it because she knew green was his favorite color and she wanted to match his hair. Fuck, she knew his favorite color and now he was going to look horrible for not knowing hers. He would have to take an educated guess and hope it was right.
“... Pink?”
All girls liked pink, right? That’s what he was always told at least. It was a fair guess!
“Wrong. It was purple,” Karasu replied almost immediately, leaving Otoya at a loss. There was no way his best friend knew more about his ex-girlfriend than he did. This was stupid. It must be rigged.
“Wow, Karasu sure knows a lot about Otoya’s girlfriends!” Bachira said in awe, basically saying Otoya’s thoughts out loud. At least someone here wasn’t against him right now.
“Yeah wait dude what the fuck,” Otoya added on with a frown. He was sure even Yukki, someone who probably had more friends than Otoya and Karasu combined, didn’t even know more than the names of a couple of his past girlfriends.
While staring directly at Otoya, Karasu responded like it was the most obvious thing ever. “What’s the big deal? Like, sorry I actually try to talk to the girls who y' bring around? If they’re in my dorm or we’re out at the same place together I’m not gonna be a jerk and ignore 'em, because they’re supposed t'be important to you.”
Otoya felt almost offended at this point, like Karasu was trying to show off how much of a better guy he was or something. And for all the light flirting he’s seen his friend do when they’ve gone out to clubs and parties, it’s not like Karasu ever brought any girls home. So what did he even know about anything? Well, unless Karasu just chose to not tell him about any girlfriends he had… which made him feel really weird when he thought about it, so he decided to simply stop thinking about it and move on.
And thankfully Bachira was giving him the perfect opportunity to get his mind away from that, so when his friend called for his attention Otoya nodded at him to show that he was listening. But he wasn’t expecting the question that came out of Bachira’s mouth.
“What’s Karasu’s favorite color? Do you know?”
“Huh? Uh, blue, right?” Otoya replied without really thinking, caught totally off-guard. He didn’t know what on earth Karasu had to do with his past girlfriends. Trying to figure out Bachira’s train of thought was near impossible sometimes though, so he just went along with it. And Karasu didn’t say he was wrong, so he supposed he was right in his guess. But when did Karasu even tell him that? Maybe in one of their freshman year icebreaker activities?
Bachira grinned at him. “What about Yukki’s?”
This time he had to think for a second. “... I think it’s red. Or maroon?” he responded, nodding in satisfaction when Yukimiya confirmed his answer. He didn’t know if he or Yukimiya was more surprised that he knew that one. But now they could never say that he was a horrible friend, since clearly he paid more attention to them than they give him credit for. Not that it mattered though; why were favorite colors so important anyway?
“Do you get tired of hanging out with your friends?” Bachira then asked, and once again Otoya felt so lost in this conversation. What kind of a question was that?
“Not really,” Otoya said with a shrug since there was no real need to lie. But that didn’t mean he was gonna suck up to them or anything either, so he made sure they didn’t get the wrong idea. “I mean, you guys suck but it’s better than being alone on campus every day, I guess.”
“What a charmer,” Yukimiya chimed in with an eye roll, and Karasu couldn’t help but snicker a little. Those two really did love being his annoying peanut gallery, didn’t they? And to think he just complimented them, too!
But really, where was Bachira going with this? Otoya furrowed his brows a bit, trying to figure out what was going through the little guy’s head. There was only one thing he could think of, but there was no way he was seriously suggesting…
After taking a moment or two, Bachira clapped his hands together once and continued his train of thought. “Okay! So, you find dating girls boring, but being around your friends isn’t boring even if you’ve been with them for years. And you tend to actually notice stuff about your friends and I’m sure you like some of the same stuff too! Sooooo, have you ever thought that-”
“I’m not gay.”
“Huh?” Bachira just blinked at him a few times with wide eyes, his mouth a small ‘o’. “When did I say that?”
The simplicity of his friend’s question made this weird feeling well up in his stomach, kind of similar to the one from earlier. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but he just, well… Wasn’t that what Bachira was getting to? And he wasn’t gay, so there was no need to bring any of this up. He was straight. Still, the awkwardness had him replying less confidently than he did in his head. “Isn’t that what you were, like… implying? That I should date one of my friends?”
Bachira wordlessly tilted his head at him, which only made him feel worse. He kind of hoped Karasu would make a joke at his expense or something so they could move on, but his friend was also staying strangely quiet.
Quickly sensing the awkward air beginning to materialize around the group, Yukimiya easily steered the conversation back on track. ”I think what he’s trying to say is that maybe if you met someone who you could get along with as a friend but also wanted to date, then you wouldn’t find being in a relationship to be so boring,” he explained and looked over to Bachira, who nodded in confirmation that his words were correct.
Oh. Well, that made him feel even more awkward. Maybe he really was an asshole. After all, Bachira was gay or something like that, so maybe he just assumed that his friend was going to suggest that he was gay, too. Was that offensive? It probably was. He was definitely an asshole. His friends were right, but they were jerks too so it was okay.
“I mean… I guess?” Otoya replied with a shrug, avoiding Bachira’s gaze and naturally looking at Karasu instead. But the look in his best friend’s eyes was also off. Or maybe he was just seeing things? “I just don’t really like the stuff girls like to talk about,” he quickly tacked on to the end of his sentence, feeling like he had to fill the silence with something to keep things from getting weird again. But then Karasu narrowed his eyes for just a moment, and Otoya didn’t even have time to wonder what he said to make him annoyed before his friend was looking away from him completely.
Thankfully Bachira didn’t actually seem put off by Otoya’s words or by the silent exchange between the two friends and joined back into the conversation with ease. “Girls can like all kinds of stuff!” he exclaimed with a bright smile on his face.
“Not from what I’ve seen,” Otoya responded and crossed his arms. Admittedly he tended to zone out whenever one of the girls he was dating started going on about her day, but he could only listen to conversations about her new clothes or makeup or parties so many times before it all blended together. But if Bachira was so sure, then maybe all the cool girls were in those art classes he took. And well, Otoya did still have to get his art credit for graduation…
“Just think about it, it’s actually good advice,” Yukimiya told him gently, but then sat back in his chair and adjusted his glasses. “And maybe if you finally dated someone who you actually liked then you’d stop being such a menace to all the poor girls on campus and beyond.”
Otoya scoffed. He never should have confided in his longtime roommate about that time he cheated on a girl in high school. He swore it was a one-time thing! So much for being vulnerable and open with his friends. “Love you too, Four-Eyes.”
But before they could travel further down in this topic Karasu apparently decided he wanted to participate in the conversation again, even if it was to just complain like he always did. “Can we just get back to our homework? You know, the thing we agreed to meet here about?” he asked, but in Otoya’s mind it just sounded like a whine.
Was that why he was acting so off before, because he was annoyed they weren’t studying? Karasu’s constant insistence on actually sticking to their study plans made Otoya roll his eyes every time. Honestly, he really could be such a stick in the mud when it came to schoolwork. Just like when he was analyzing people or recordings of their soccer games, he got this super-focused, serious look on his face while he did his assignments. His eyebrows would furrow a little bit and he would gnaw on his lip if he really got focused; it was funny to watch. But what was even more fun…
“Quit it, man!”
Otoya didn’t even have the decency to keep the amused look off of his face when Karasu hissed at him. He kicked at the taller man again, who huffed in annoyance and kicked back. Karasu was his favorite partner-in-crime when the other man was in the mood to goof off, but sometimes picking on him was way more entertaining than picking on someone else together, especially when he had been so bothersome towards Otoya today. Plus, Karasu was somehow his best friend so it was kind of Otoya’s job to pester him until he stopped looking like there was something actually wrong with him. Seeing his friend bothered by something made him feel uncomfortable… It was annoying.
“Aww, playin’ footsies? I wanna join!” Bachira piped up, looking absolutely delighted over the chance to get everyone’s minds off of schoolwork again. It seemed he really wasn’t in the mood to be a responsible student, either. Otoya gave a tiny smirk at that - there was a reason the two of them got along, after all.
Unfortunately, Karasu wasn’t easily swayed, immediately shooting Bachira down with a sharp, “no way!” And Bachira didn’t fight it, instead grinning at the two of them with this look in his eyes and quietly going back to his book. Weird. But oh well, guess they really were going to do homework for the next who knows how many hours. No one could say he didn’t try to keep things fun around here, at least.
As everyone actually settled back into doing their work, Otoya naturally still couldn’t focus on the stupid philosophy assignment displayed on the screen of his laptop. He’d probably just bully Yukki for help later that night in their dorm anyway, so it wasn’t like he had to do it all now. Instead, his mind kept wandering back to the group’s earlier conversation. Of course what his friends were saying made sense, but really only in theory. How was he going to find someone who was attractive and fun to talk to? It felt like that person just didn’t exist.
Relationships really were a pain.