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Awsten isn’t at school today, which is and isn’t weird. He talks about skipping school all the time, but never does because he’s too scared of his mom. Surely he would text Jawn first, though, to warn him that he would be on his own for the day. It’s a Friday, too, which is the worst day to be alone. Kids get bored waiting for the weekend, and they start throwing things. Jawn has always been the target of projectiles for some reason.
Highschool hasn’t been easy for either of them. Jawn is a nervous wreck most of the time, jumpy from years of being beaten up behind the bike sheds. Awsten is chaotic and people find him irritating if he’s let loose for too long. Of course, Jawn wouldn’t have him any other way, but a lot of people would. They tell Awsten to shut up, to calm down, even when he isn’t being that loud. He gets excited easily, and for some reason their peers hate that.
Jawn doesn’t really get it, though. Why would they want to change him, make him quieter? Awsten is so much fun. Being around him is like hanging out with pure lightning, that strikes constantly and randomly. He always has something else to talk about, an opinion on a topic that Jawn has never thought about before. They don’t agree on everything, but they can argue for hours without falling out. Jawn has never had a friend like him. He probably won’t again. Awsten is his own kind of person.
When Jawn finds himself sitting alone in first period math, he sends Awsten a text under his desk. It’s short, because he’s typing blindly with one hand while trying to look like he’s paying attention to calculus, but it gets his point across. He’s mad, and he wants his best friend back. Awsten sucks at math too, but at least he makes it bearable.
J: where r u >:(
He almost deletes the frowny face before he sends the text, but he needs to convey his exact feelings of abandonment. Awsten has left him to do math all by himself. Not just math - they have world history later, which would be interesting if their teacher wasn’t the dullest man alive. Part of him expects Awsten to waltz in late with an excuse about a doctor’s appointment he forgot to mention (or he did tell Jawn, and he’s the one who forgot, which is very possible), but there’s no sign of him through third period English either.
When he checks his phone again at lunch, eaten alone, he hasn’t received a response. That’s extra weird. Awsten always answers his phone, especially to Jawn. If he’s out of credit on his cell, then he’ll borrow his dad’s or use his landline. Maybe he isn’t at home? He wouldn’t skip class to go somewhere without at least mentioning it to Jawn, though. Awsten would probably invite him, too. He could be with a girl somewhere, but Jawn immediately dismisses that thought. Awsten doesn’t talk to girls.
Maybe he’s dead. That’s an option Jawn hasn’t considered up until now. It’s a bit far out, perhaps, but honestly Awsten gets himself into so many situations so often that it is not impossible. Not likely either, though. Awsten is basically invincible, or so Jawn likes to believe.
Jawn sends another text before shoving his phone back into his bag. He doesn’t like getting mad at Awsten because he almost never deserves it, but there’s animosity brewing within him now. That doesn’t come across in his text, though. He sounds more like a lost puppy. The emote is completely necessary this time.
J: lonely w/o u :(
He carries on with his day, sitting by himself and keeping his head down. No one bothers him, probably because Awsten’s loudmouth isn’t there to draw attention to them. Jawn feels anxiety building in his chest all day, the fear of not knowing where exactly his best friend is. Plus the general terror of being alone in a building full of kids who don't like him very much. They spend every waking moment together, and now all of a sudden Awsten isn’t answering his phone.
Did they have an actual argument recently? No, they have been getting on quite well. They had a sleepover last weekend, and they spent the whole night giggling hysterically about next to nothing. Maybe his mom grounded him. He would still have to come to school if that had happened, though.
Jawn thinks again that Awsten might be dead, or something worse. He almost has a panic attack over it during last period geography, until he convinces himself that if Awsten was dead, Mrs Knight would have called him to say so by now. To assuage his fears, he walks straight to Awsten’s house after school.
He goes there a lot, and practically lives there on the weekends. His own parents don't much care what he gets up to as long as he stays out of jail, the hospital and the morgue, which he does. Awsten's parents seem grateful that Awsten has a friend who isn't a complete clown, so they let Jawn sleep over whenever he wants. He's bound to Awsten's curfew, which is stupidly early, but other than that there's very few rules. Not that either of them would do anything to break any rules - they mostly just play video games and make bad music. Sometimes Awsten’s mom will kick them out so they get some sunlight, but other than that they’re left to their own devices.
Awsten's parents aren’t home, but his sister Gracie lets Jawn in without question. They know each other quite well too. She hangs out with them sometimes, even though publicly she will insist her big brother is boring and lame. When Jawn asks where his best friend is, she shrugs.
“I dunno. Mom said he’s sick or something and I’m not allowed to bother him.” Gracie rolls her eyes. She wanders off to the back garden, ignoring any further questions from Jawn.
If Awsten is sick, that explains why he isn’t answering his phone. Awsten is famously dramatic about being ill, curling himself up and insisting he’s about to die. He will have been in bed all day, either asleep or loudly complaining about how bad he feels to anyone who will listen.
Jawn already feels better, just being in a place where his best friend lives. It’s comforting knowing that a piece of him lives in every corner of this house. He climbs up the stairs and pushes open Awsten’s bedroom door.
It’s dark inside, the blinds drawn and the lights off. The room is always a mess, CDs strewn across the floor beside piles of clothes. Everything looks as it should, up to the guitar leaning against the wall in the far corner. Awsten lies in his bed, curled up under his comforter. He shifts when Jawn comes in, squinting against the sunlight streaming in from the hall.
“Hi.” Awsten coughs. He doesn’t try to sit up. “What’re you doing here?”
“You didn’t come to school. I texted you but you didn’t reply.” Jawn closes the door behind him quickly. He tries not to sound hurt, because Awsten looks like death.
He’s somehow paler than normal, sweat sticking his bangs to his forehead, shivering intermittently despite the relative warmth of the room. The relief upon seeing him alive is quickly replaced by concern for his health. Jawn sits down on the bed beside him and pushes Awsten’s hair out of his face. His skin is hot like he has a fever, but he’s curled up under all of his blankets like he’s cold.
“You look like shit.” Jawn normally wouldn’t swear in Awsten’s house, because he too is scared of Awsten’s mom, but she isn’t here, so it’s fine.
“Thank you. I feel worse.” Awsten shuffles until his head is resting on Jawn’s thigh. He sighs deeply as he settles there. The contact is comforting. “Sorry I didn’t text you back. Looking at my phone screen is like being stabbed with knives.”
At least he still has his sense of humour, Jawn thinks. He pets Awsten’s hair gently as he speaks. “As opposed to being stabbed with spoons?”
“Those would be different sensations, yes.” Awsten tries to laugh, but it sets off a coughing fit instead. “Jesus, can you just kill me?”
“The best I can do for you is NyQuil.” Jawn offers. He knows Awsten’s parents have some, somewhere.
“Perfect. I love that you’re here, but I would much rather be unconscious than live like this.” Awsten rolls off of Jawn so he can get up. Immediately, Jawn misses the contact.
Jawn grabs the bottle of NyQuil from the bathroom medicine cabinet, and talks Awsten out of downing the whole thing. Once Awsten is appropriately medicated, he settles down in his bunk bed. There’s just enough room on the bottom bunk for Jawn to sit beside him.
“Boot up my Playstation if you want.” Awsten mumbles, already drowsy. “‘M not gonna be fun to be around today.”
“You’re always fun to be around.” Jawn gets up to turn on the TV and the Playstation before coming back to sit on the bed.
“Why’re you even still here?” Awsten asks.
Jawn would be offended if Awsten wasn’t drugged out of his mind. He knows he doesn’t mean it in a get out of my house way. It’s a genuine question - Awsten is very sick and basically unresponsive. Gracie is here to take care of him if he needs something, and his parents will be home in a few hours anyway.
If he’s honest, Jawn is still there because he loves Awsten more than he can describe. Without him, Jawn thinks he would be dead already. There is no one else for him, no girl who could compare. Jawn thinks he might, just maybe, be a little bit gay, but even if he wasn’t… Awsten is his soulmate, the only person who truly understands him without having to explain himself. A piece of himself that he feels hollow without.
“Where else would I be on a Friday night? I don't have any other friends.” Jawn says, because he really can’t say all of that. It’s too much and would destroy their friendship in one swift blow. Awsten is straight, and Jawn is fine just being friends if that’s the only way to have him in his life.
Awsten stays silent as Jawn loads into Lego Batman. He thinks Awsten must have gone to sleep, so he turns the volume down and hums to himself while he plays. After a few moments, though, Awsten speaks again.
“Do you even like girls?” Awsten asks, his voice quiet and speech a little slurred. Again, straight to the point, although what point he’s making is a mystery. Awsten’s brain jumps back and forth between topics like his psyche is a trampoline.
Jawn almost drops his controller. It isn’t an accusation, as such, but it has come out of nowhere. He writes it off as a product of Awsten’s drugged and addled mind - or just his regular mind, honestly - and laughs.
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean, like… there is supposed to be a point where you start liking them, right? Every guy had it. But it feels like everyone’s there except me.” Awsten shuffles even closer to Jawn, burying his face into his side. His temperature is so high that Jawn can feel the heat radiating off him through his shirt. “Like, is everyone just lying to me? Is there something wrong with me?”
Awsten starts getting a little hysterical towards the end of his small rant. Jawn takes one hand off of his controller and slides his fingers into Awsten’s hair, scratching at his scalp. It’s the one surefire way to calm him down. Like magic, Awsten sighs and slumps into him, one arm cast over Jawn’s legs.
Neither of them have much luck with girls, but honestly neither of them have tried too hard. Jawn is mostly terrified of them. That's not really because they're girls, he's terrified of people in general. Awsten laments about not having a real high school experience because he hasn't kissed a girl, and then never tries to talk to one to get to that point.
Girls are scary. Hanging out in Awsten's bedroom is not. So they always end up doing the latter.
“If it helps,” Jawn whispers like they’re in a confessional, “I don’t really like girls either.”
Awsten is older, so maybe it's more weird that he doesn't have an interest in girls than it is for Jawn. Every other guy Jawn’s age seems obsessed with them. He just doesn't see the appeal. Girls are cool as people to talk about pokemon with, not as anything else.
“Hm.” Awsten lifts his head slightly, looking up at Jawn through his bangs. His eyes are so pretty that Jawn almost misses the next thing he says. “Do you like guys, though?”
Jawn averts his gaze back to the screen, trying to figure out what to say. His mind scrambles for whether or not this is a good idea. If he was gonna be weird about it, Awsten wouldn’t have asked, right? They may be in Texas, but Awsten’s room has always been a safe place for them to talk about stuff they can’t say in the real world. Nothing bad can happen to him here.
Does Jawn like guys, though? He hates most people. Sometimes he’ll see a guy in the street or a music video, and think he’s attractive, but that’s where it ends. Honestly, Jawn doesn’t think he’ll ever like someone as much as he likes Awsten.
How is he supposed to marry some girl when his best friend can basically read his mind? Cryptophasia, or whatever it is Pete Wentz says about Patrick Stump. That’s what they have. Whatever those guys have going on is exactly what’s happening here. Which might not be entirely heterosexual or platonic. Jawn is thinking himself in circles.
He might like other guys. He definitely likes Awsten. Anything in between is irrelevant.
“Eh. I don’t really like anyone.” Jawn admits. “I sort of just compare everyone to you, which, like, no one could win against you in my head.”
Awsten giggles, then coughs a little. Jawn rubs his back. “So… you like me?”
“Of course I like you. I’m sitting here with you while you’re drugged out of your mind, unable to string a sentence together.” Jawn teases.
He takes his hand back and continues with his game. Because he’s here so much, he has his own save on Awsten’s Playstation on pretty much any game they might play. Gracie also has her own save, when save slots allow, but Awsten gets upset if you tease him about that.
“I could string so many sentences together. I'm a songwriter.” Awsten coughs as he stresses the last word too hard.
As if in protest of Jawn moving his hand, Awsten pulls himself into Jawn’s lap. He’s sprawled half across him, head on his thigh and one arm flung around his waist. His elbow digs into Jawn’s knee painfully.
“You are so unwieldy.” Jawn mutters, trying to shift away without falling off of the bed. Awsten grew too fast and never quite got used to the amount of arm he has. Whining, Awsten wraps his arms tighter around Jawn and pulls him back. “Alright! I’m not going anywhere, Christ.”
“Stay with me forever. We’ll get a house and a dog and a cat and never have to deal with anyone else. Just me and you against the world.” Awsten mumbles. His eyes are closed now, seconds away from the sleep he’s been fighting off for the past fifteen minutes.
“That sounds an awful lot like us getting married.” Jawn laughs. Not a complaint, by any means. He would love to spend the rest of his life following Awsten to the ends of the earth.
“Then let’s get married.” Awsten whispers.
“What?” Jawn asks, sure he heard him wrong.
But Awsten has finally passed out, overcome by the NyQuil, curled up against Jawn’s stomach. Jawn sighs, realising that Awsten probably won’t remember any of this in the morning. They should talk about it, when Awsten is feeling better. There’s something here, something that could work. Even if this is Texas, and people like Jawn, who are maybe a lot more gay than they thought, don’t get happy endings very often.
“Alright, dude, goodnight.” Jawn whispers as he puts down his controller. Then because Awsten can’t hear him now, he adds, “I love you.”
He turns off the TV and slowly moves Awsten off of him until he can lie down beside him. There definitely is not enough room in Awsten’s bed for two teenage boys to sleep comfortably. Jawn would usually sleep on the top bunk, but right now he doesn’t want to leave Awsten on his own. Instead he wraps his arms around his best friend, kisses him on his sweaty forehead, and settles down to sleep.
When Mrs Knight comes home, the first thing she does is check on her son. When she finds him fast asleep, cuddled up with his best friend, she smiles and closes the door again.
After dinner, which Awsten is too zonked out to eat, Mrs Knight gives Jawn permission to stay over, which he didn’t expect. Most parents would insist their sick child be left alone, but she knows better than to separate them. Awsten is still very drowsy, but he’s awake now, sitting up in bed beside Jawn, head leaning on his shoulder. It’s the middle of the night, so they’re keeping quiet. Even if Awsten could hold a conversation.
“Fuck.” Jawn hisses as Batman falls into another vat of acid, or whatever the bubbling lego liquid is supposed to be. He doesn’t pay much attention to the plot of these things. “I suck at this game.”
Awsten giggles. “Would offer to help, but ‘m useless righ’ now.”
“You can still be my Robin.” Jawn says as he tries to navigate the jumping puzzle again.
“You’re my Robin.” Awsten pushes his face into Jawn’s neck. “’M the cool ‘ne.”
“Sure buddy.” Jawn hums.
“Jaaaaawn.” Awsten whines. “‘M hungry.”
“You should have eaten dinner instead of being unconscious, then.” Jawn dies again, and pauses his game in frustration. “I think your mom left a plate for you.”
“What was it?”
“Lasagna.”
“Ugh.” Awsten slumps against him, leaning so much of his body weight on Jawn that he has to steady himself so he doesn’t tumble off of the tiny bed. “I want pancakes.”
“At midnight?”
“Yes.” Awsten looks up at Jawn through his bangs, his pretty multi coloured eyes sparkling despite the obvious tiredness. “Make me pancakes, Jawn.”
“Your parents are gonna kill us if they catch us.” Jawn warns, but he’s already getting up.
He hauls Awsten out of bed, pulling his arm over his shoulders when he wobbles on his feet. Jawn shushes Awsten as he giggles.
“Shush. We're meant to be sneaking out.”
“Hardly sneakin’ out. Just to m’ kitchen.” Awsten mumbles, but he allows Jawn to lead him down the stairs quietly anyway.
Once they’re in the kitchen, Jawn sits Awsten down at the kitchen table. He intends to just leave him there, but something like adoration overcomes him and he gives Awsten a hug instead. Awsten doesn’t fight it, leaning into Jawn with a heavy sigh.
“I missed you today.” He mumbles into Awsten’s shoulder. “School sucked without you.”
“‘M sorry. Shoulda text you but could barely think.” Awsten rests his hand on Jawn’s back, scratching his nails against his shirt. Jawn sighs quietly, melting into the feeling. “Did ya get beat up again?”
“Nah.” Jawn pulls away and starts rummaging through cupboards for the pancake mix. “I think they all forgot about me, ‘cause I’m quiet.”
“‘S good. Not that you had to be quiet, that sucks. You should be able to talk as much as you like.” Awsten rambles. “I like your voice. It’s a pretty colour.”
Jawn blushes at that, turning away so Awsten can’t see his face. He doesn’t like the sound of his own voice much - he isn’t sure why, it just doesn’t sound right to him. Some people have told him he sounds annoying, and he guesses that stuck with him. Occasionally he’ll apologise to Awsten for talking so much, but Awsten always insists he keep going. He talks a lot, but he listens well too.
“Aha!” Jawn pulls the pancake mix from the cupboard. “Jackpot.”
“God bless my mom.” Awsten mumbles, leaning his head on his arms on the table. “You know what you’re doing, right?”
“I’m not a baby.” Jawn grumbles.
For once, he does actually know what he’s doing. Awsten’s mom teaches him stuff sometimes when Awsten is being too crazy to pay attention. Gracie said Jawn’s pancakes were good, but not as good as mom’s, which he took as a compliment.
“You’re my baby.” Awsten mumbles, so quietly that Jawn thinks he must have heard him wrong.
“You’re being so weird tonight.” Jawn comments as he pulls a mixing bowl from the cupboard. “Like, weirder than usual. I’m never letting you take NyQuil again.”
Awsten pouts, his hair falling in his eyes. “I thought you loved me.”
“I never said that.” Jawn shrugs as he sets about making pancakes.
That’s a blatant lie, but he’s pretty sure Awsten was asleep when he said it earlier and couldn't have heard him. He wants to say it to his face, of course, because he loves Awsten oh so much. It just isn’t possible - it would ruin too much between them.
“Hmph.” Awsten frowns. “But you do, right?”
Jawn feels like he’s being dragged into some sort of trap. Like he’s being forced to admit to something he’ll be ridiculed for. Part of him knows that Awsten wouldn’t do something like that, but he lives forever in fear of that sort of thing. That’s why he won’t admit to himself that he’s gay, or if he does he immediately rolls it back and doesn’t tell anyone. It’s a reflex, a safety measure.
“Are you fucking with me?” Jawn asks as he mixes the batter together. He needs something to do with his hands or he’ll start shaking.
“No.” Awsten shrugs. He won’t look at Jawn, keeping his eyes on the wood grain of the table. “I kinda wanna tell you something but I don’t really know how.”
“Can it wait until we have something to eat?” Jawn would like to have something else to stare at when Awsten says whatever the fuck this is.
“Sure. I might have figured out how to say it by then.” Awsten agrees.
Jawn sets about making a big stack of pancakes for Awsten. By the sounds of it, Awsten hasn’t eaten anything all day, so he must be starving. They’re a bit misshapen and he burns one of them, but they’re good enough. He throws them all onto a plate and places them in front of Awsten with a bottle of maple syrup and a fork.
“There ya go.” Jawn sits down across from him. He has gotten himself a fork too, but he doesn’t intend to eat much. He made these for Awsten, not himself.
“Thanks.” Awsten takes his fork and digs into his food.
There’s a long moment of silence between them while Awsten eats. Jawn takes a few mouthfuls, but feels too anxious to eat any more. He tries to figure out what Awsten might want to tell him. Maybe he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, and never wants to see him again. Jawn might die if that’s what this is. Although if that’s what Awsten wants, then he could be fine with it. As long as he’s happy. That’s all Jawn really cares about.
“You know you’re my best friend, right?” Jawn says quietly as Awsten’s fork scrapes against the plate. The quiet is killing him, he can’t take it anymore. “You can tell me anything. I won’t be mad.”
“I know that. It’s not telling you that’s the problem. It’s saying it at all that I feel like I can’t do.” Awsten stares at the pancakes in front of him. He glances up at Jawn, then back down again. His voice is a little steadier, less drowsy than it was before. “Maybe I should just say it.”
That doesn’t sound like Awsten is friend-breaking-up with him, so Jawn says, “Go for it.”
“I think I’m- God, I dunno what I am.” Awsten sighs. His leg shakes so hard it vibrates the whole table. “I- I’m starting to think I might like guys.”
“Oh.” For some reason, that wasn’t what Jawn was expecting. He probably should have seen it coming, based on how Awsten has been acting since he got here. “That’s chill.”
“I know you think so.” Awsten says, pushing the half-eaten plate of pancakes towards Jawn. “But no one else around here would. This is Texas, this is like, getting murdered material.”
“Sure. You don’t have to tell anyone other than me, though. I mean, honestly…” Jawn takes a deep breath before he says it. “I’m probably gay too.”
“Huh. I guess that makes sense.” Awsten laughs. “So I guess we’re… in this shit together.”
“Always. Even if I was straight, we still would be. It’s just me and you forever, right?” Jawn holds out his hand, and Awsten takes it. “And like, who else would make you pancakes at midnight if I wasn’t here?”
Awsten giggles and squeezes Jawn’s hand. “I’m still terrified.”
“I know. But one day we’ll run off to Los Angeles or something together and it’ll all be fine.” Jawn says, and he means it. “You’ll get famous, and I’ll- I dunno, but I’ll be there.”
“I’m not gonna get famous without you, dude.” Awsten insists. “I’ll make it a clause in every contract I sign - Jawn comes with me. Package deal.”
Jawn laughs. “I don’t think anyone will sign you with me in tow.”
“Sure they will. And I don’t care if they don’t. You’re way more important to me than anything else.” Awsten rubs his eyes with his free hand. Jawn takes the opportunity to stare at him fondly. “How am I tired again? I slept all day.”
“You’re still sick. Come on.” Jawn cleans up the mess they made - because he is a good house guest - and pulls Awsten to his feet.
Awsten is more stable now that he has eaten, but Jawn still keeps an arm around him as they ascend the stairs. It’s more of a comfort thing than anything. They both just said something very big and important to each other, and Jawn’s heart is going a thousand miles a minute. Awsten seems calmer, but Jawn knows he’s probably freaking out too.
They get back to Awsten’s room, and he flops down onto his bed with a groan. Jawn puts his foot on the bunk ladder, intending to sleep in the top bunk, but Awsten reaches out and grabs his wrist. He immediately slips down to hold his hand instead.
“No. Here.” Awsten tugs him into the bed beside him.
It really isn’t big enough for the two of them. Jawn finds himself almost nose to nose with Awsten, one arm thrown over his waist because he has nowhere else to put it. His breath tickles Jawn’s face, warm and honestly comforting. They stare at each other in silence until they both start giggling over nothing.
“This is so dumb.” Awsten says between laughter. “Can I say something dumb?”
“Don’t you always?” Jawn asks.
“Shut up.” Awsten pokes him in the stomach. Jawn chuckles. “Anyway, I was gonna say that I really wanna kiss you right now.”
“That sounds like a great way to catch whatever flu it is you have.” Jawn whispers. He realises immediately that that was a stupid thing to say. “I mean, I would- that would be cool.”
“Cool?” Awsten laughs as Jawn’s cheeks turn red. “You are so lame.”
“Shut up. Kiss me or don’t.” Jawn says lightheartedly.
Awsten closes the gap between them suddenly, lips pressing against Jawn’s in a chaste kiss. Jawn doesn’t have time to kiss back, and even if he did, he’s too shocked to react. When Awsten pulls back again, he blushes and buries his face in his pillow.
“Sorry, I-”
Jawn doesn’t let him finish his sentence. Instead he takes his cheek in his hand and tilts his face back towards him. They kiss again - it isn’t like one of them kisses the other, more like an act of nature pulls them together. It lasts longer this time, clumsy, with too much teeth although Jawn doesn’t mind that so much. Awsten threads his fingers through Jawn’s long dark hair, keeping his head in place as their lips slide together.
This is the first time Jawn has kissed someone, so he doesn’t know if this is good or not, but god, is it fun. Like everything they do together. Awsten tastes like pancakes and love. He’s warm where Jawn’s hands lay on his hip and his face. This could last for hours, if they didn’t need oxygen to live.
“Hold- hold on, oh my God.” Jawn giggles when he pulls away and Awsten tries to chase him. “Let me breathe.”
“No.” Awsten pecks him on the lips. “I wanna kiss you forever. Suffocate about it.”
Jawn presses their foreheads together. Awsten’s skin is slightly sticky with sweat still, but he doesn’t mind so much. As long as it’s his best friend, he doesn’t mind.
“I’m definitely gonna get sick.” Jawn mumbles, and they both start laughing again. “And I think we’re definitely gay now.”
Awsten takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. “That’s fine.”
“Yeah, it will be.” Jawn says with a lot of confidence he does not have. “We just gotta stick together until we can graduate and go to LA, right?”
“Right.” Awsten opens his eyes again and nods. “Me and you. We can make this work.”
Jawn kisses Awsten again, just because he can now. It feels so normal that he can’t imagine why anyone would think this is wrong. He squeezes Awsten in his arms. Awsten hums into the kiss, tangling their legs together. They couldn’t be closer if they tried. Jawn thinks Awsten might try and crawl into his skin next, which wouldn’t be so bad.
“I love you.” He whispers. “We’ll figure this out.”
“I love you too.” Awsten presses his face against Jawn’s neck. “Tired.”
“Go to sleep, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” Jawn promises, and he means it.