Work Text:
Junpei picked up his phone again, for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. It was 9:43 P.M. He should probably have been asleep by now.
After all, he had already done everything he needed before sleep. He had dragged himself off of his bed to wash up and brush his teeth, and he had changed into his still-warm pajamas from the dryer.
He just couldn’t get to bed. His mind kept drifting back to his mom. It had been almost 3 weeks since that day. The day his mom died, and the day he almost went with her. The day Yuuji Itadori saved him.
Junpei missed his mom. She had always been there for him, even when he hadn’t necessarily wanted her to be. He really wished she was still around, if only so he could tell her how much he appreciated her.
He sighed as he pulled his legs up onto the bed, wrapping his arms around them and curling up into a ball, pressing his forehead into his knees. He missed his mom so much.
He sniffled a bit, feeling his eyes start to moisten. This was the fourth night in a row that he had done this. At least he thought. It was hard to keep count at this point. It was like he was unable to do anything about his emotions, like the only thing he could think of was how much he missed his old room, his old bed, his old house, his old life. Before all the curses and spirits and near-death experiences.
He felt the tears start to fall, trickling down his cheeks as his body shook, wracked with sobs. He couldn’t keep doing this. Something had to change. He had to find a way out.
He checked his phone again. 9:46 P.M. This routine of crying himself to sleep had to stop. He needed to find some way to fix this. To fix himself.
With shaking fingers, Junpei unlocked his phone and opened his messages app. As he blinked back more and more tears, he saw the one person who could maybe help him.
He opened up his texts with Yuuji and wrote a quick message. “ Hey, Yuuji. If you aren’t too busy or asleep right now, could you come to my room? I kind of need some help.”
As soon as the message sent, he dropped his phone out of his hand, and it landed next to him on the mattress with a soft thud. He leaned his head back against the wall, taking deep, gasping breaths in an unsuccessful attempt to calm himself down. He really missed home.
A knock sounded at his door. Junpei tried to get up, to make his way to the door, to do anything to break this habit of crying himself to bed every night.
A small buzz came right after the next knock, and Junpei realized it was from his phone. He picked it up and unlocked it to see a message from Yuuji.
“texting u because it’s late and i don’t wanna wake fushiguro or kugisaki up!!!” read the message.
The text moved upwards on the screen as Junpei read it, with 3 dots bouncing to indicate Yuuji was typing a follow up message.
“is it ok if i come in? u aren’t answering the door”
Junpei typed out a quick response. “Yeah, come in.”
As soon as the text was delivered, the doorknob began to turn, and Junpei looked up from his phone to see Yuuji standing in the doorway. He was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, both of which looked like they were a little too small for him. He waved at Junpei, but his cheery expression dropped a little when his eyes landed on Junpei’s tear-streaked face.
Yuuji quickly made his way over to the bed. “Junpei, are you okay?” he asked, the concern evident in his voice. Junpei tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was another sob that shook his body.
Yuuji pursed his lips, thinking. “Um… can I sit down with you on the bed? Would that be okay with you?”
At that, Junpei nodded, prompting Yuuji to lean up against the wall next to him, their shoulders rubbing against each other. Junpei turned his head to look at the other boy. He didn’t think he and Yuuji had ever been this close, except for maybe the time they were fighting at the school, which Junpei didn’t think counted.
Junpei watched as Yuuji’s lips parted, clearly trying to find the right words to say. His lips were nice. They looked soft. He quickly looked away, not wanting to fall down that rabbit hole of thinking. He focused on Yuuji’s eyes instead.
“So, Junpei, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” The kindness was evident in his eyes. He really did just want to help.
Junpei inhaled, deep and shakily, and loosened his grip on his knees. “I… I just really… miss my mom…” he said between gasping breaths. Why was he like this? Why was he so pathetic?
Yuuji sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. “Hey, Junpei… don’t feel bad about missing your mom. I miss my mom too. Of course, you knew your mom better than I knew mine, so, it probably isn’t quite the same, but… yeah. It’s ok to miss people.”
Junpei sniffled again, the tears starting to dry up now. “I’ve been crying like this… i-in my room… for… for days now. I cried myself to sleep… almost every day this week…”
Yuuji’s gaze returned to Junpei. “Aw, man… I’m really sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Junpei scooted a bit closer to him, feeling Yuuji’s shoulder next to his as their hips rubbed up against each other. “C-Could you maybe… stay with me tonight? If you want to…”
Yuuji grinned at him. “I would love to do that for you! Do you mind if I leave to grab a few things from my room, then? I’ll be right back!”
Junpei nodded, and the bed wobbled slightly as Yuuji slid off of it, walking across the room and slowly and lightly shutting the door behind him. Junpei drew another shaky, rattling breath and tried to calm himself. Maybe the problem was the position he was in? It was hard to feel anything other than sadness when you were curling yourself up into a ball. Unless you were Sonic the Hedgehog, he thought, which made him chuckle a little.
He slowly leaned sideways until his head met the mattress, and scooted up so that he was in a sleeping position, with the side of his face on his pillow. He lay on top of the covers, not fully ready to sleep yet.
Junpei startled slightly at the sound of the door creaking as it slowly reopened, and then carefully shut. Yuuji walked over to him, carrying with him a small tiger plush. He sat down on the bed, crossing his legs.
“So… do you wanna talk about anything? I’m here for you if you need me!” Yuuji asked, with a soft smile on his face. It was full of so much genuine love and care that it would have made Junpei sick if it had been on anyone else’s face. With Yuuji, though… he could tell he truly meant it. He really was that kind.
Junpei sniffled, his tears subsiding slightly, but still falling. “I… I kind of miss my old life. I miss who I was before all of this sorcery and crap. I miss my mom, my old room, my routines…” He choked up again, but pressed on. “I don’t miss all of it, of course. School was awful, and I didn’t have any real friends… At least here I have you.” He moved one of his hands to rest on Yuuji’s knee.
Yuuji placed his hand over Junpei’s, slowly beginning to stroke the back of Junpei’s hand with his thumb. “You have more than me here! You have all the other students, too! Like Fushiguro, and Kugisaki, and the second years!”
“I’m not sure if they’re really my friends… Not like they are with you, anyway. Fushiguro is always giving me these death glares, especially when I’m around you. I don't even think he’s said more than three full sentences to me, and that was when he was introducing himself. The second years are… interesting…”
Yuuji giggled under his breath. “Yeah, that’s one way of describing them, for sure!”
Yuuji’s laugh was so bright that Junpei felt his face lighting up. His cheeks felt warmer. Was he blushing? Could Yuuji see him blushing? “Y-yeah. Maki is really snarky and mean, and I get the feeling that she doesn’t respect me at all. I can’t understand Inumaki in the slightest. I really don’t know how you do it. He just says random ingredients and you… get it. And, um, what was the other second year’s name? The panda?”
“…Panda?”
“Yeah, him. What’s his name?”
“Panda.”
Junpei raised his eyebrows. “There’s no way the panda’s name is Panda.”
Yuuji giggled again, and Junpei had to stop himself from hugging the other boy right there. “Yeah! Turns out Principal Yaga’s not great with names.”
Junpei opened his mouth to respond to that, but elected against it. “O-Okay. Well, he seems nice, but I don’t get the impression that he really cares all that much about me…”
“What about Kugisaki? You and her made a great team at the exchange event!”
Junpei balled his fists up at the mention of Kugisaki. He was avoiding talking about that particular student for a reason. “Oh, what about her?” he snapped. “I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other. Your little bouts of bickering are like an old married couple. It’s honestly a little sickening. I’m surprised you could tear yourself away from her to make time for me tonight.” He kept his tone measured, but couldn’t conceal the rage in his voice. His vision blurred again, and he rolled over, facing away from Yuuji.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, but refused to turn around. He had had enough of this, and he was finally confronting Yuuji about it. He wasn’t going to back down now.
“…Junpei, listen to me, please. Kugisaki and I aren’t dating. We never have been, and hopefully we never will.” Yuuji’s voice was soft, comforting, even. “Kugisaki has made it very clear that she isn’t interested in me or Fushiguro. She’s said multiple times, both to my face and behind my back, apparently, that even if hell froze over and the souls of the damned all danced the lambada, she wouldn’t date either of us.”
Junpei couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at that, his chest spasming with a laugh in addition to his tears. He heard a thump behind him, and turned his head to find Yuuji laying down next to him. He reluctantly turned to face the other boy.
Junpei took a breath in, unable to meet Yuuji’s gaze. He couldn’t. He had been so cruel, so full of hate and contempt, and yet Yuuji was still looking at him with nothing but kindness and love. Junpei wished he would stop that. It made him feel terrible.
“…Why do you want to be my friend so badly? Why? You aren’t my friend. You don’t know.” Junpei muttered shakily.
Yuuji blinked, clearly shocked and confused. “J-Junpei… what? What do you mean we aren’t friends? What have we been doing for these four weeks?”
Junpei took a deep gulp of air, blinking back more tears to look up at Yuuji’s face for a moment, before looking back down at the pillow. He couldn’t bear to see that poor sweet boy’s face. “I mean we aren’t friends. You made up a fake, sanitized, imaginary version of me and you’re friends with him. Not real me. Nobody likes real me. I don’t even like real me.”
“Junpei, I like you. I like the real y-“
“Real me thought about killing people, okay?” Junpei snapped again, his tears those of anger now. “Real me tried to kill people. Real me wanted to kill people. I am not a good person, Yuuji. You should know that. You were there. You saw who I really am, that day at the school.”
Yuuji’s voice was soft and caring as he spoke. “You want me to tell you what I saw that day, Junpei? I saw a scared, sad, misguided boy. I saw someone who wasn’t sure what they were doing, someone who wasn’t thinking straight. I saw a boy who just needed help.”
The tears came faster now, once again rolling down Junpei’s cheeks. He sobbed loudly, unable to hold it in any longer. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop his weeping, and clenched and unclenched his fists so tightly he thought his palms might bleed.
He felt a warmth envelop him, and opened his eyes to see Yuuji wrapping him in a hug. He moved his arms around Yuuji to reciprocate the gesture, and pressed his face into the soft hoodie the other was wearing. His tears slowly started to subside again, and he felt Yuuji’s grip tighten around him, pulling him closer.
“Let me help you, Junpei.”
Junpei took deep breaths, calming himself down as the scent of Yuuji’s freshly washed hoodie filled his nose. He pressed his face into Yuuji’s chest and snuggled up to him, nodding.
“I… I want your help, Yuuji…”
Junpei felt the heat of Yuuji’s breath on his forehead a moment before his lips connected, where they remained for a few moments before pulling away. Oh my God, he just kissed me. On the forehead, but that still counts, I think. His heart thumped in his chest as he squeezed Yuuji tighter and pulled himself even closer to him.
“I… I think I like you, Yuuji… like a lot.”
“Yeah, I kinda guessed…”
Junpei blushed a little as Yuuji’s hand ran through his hair.
“R-Really?” Junpei looked up at Yuuji, only to find that the other was already looking down at him, a kind smile on his face.
Yuuji nodded, and Junpei took a few seconds to muster up the courage to ask his next question.
“Do you like me too? Like that?”
“Junpei, I think I’ve liked you since the moment we met.” Yuuji’s response in that mumbly, slightly sleepy voice of his sent a slight shiver down Junpei’s spine.
The tears had almost gone away now, but that statement from Yuuji brought them back in full force. He remembered how things had been when they met. How Mahito had been. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable, feeling as though cold patchwork hands could snatch at him at any moment.
“I’m kinda cold… can we get under the covers…?” Junpei asked, loosening his grip on Yuuji as the other boy did the same.
Yuuji smiled and briefly pulled himself off the bed, and as Junpei did the same, he pulled the blankets back and lied down. Junpei followed, reaching down to pull the covers back up over their chests.
Junpei let out a small sigh of happiness as the two embraced again. Yuuji’s hand made its way to the back of his neck, and a slight shudder ran down his spine. Yuuji kissed his forehead again, and let his lips linger to whisper to him, “It’s going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay, you hear me?”
A hum of “Mhmm…” escaped Junpei’s lips as he nodded, hugging him tighter. He felt Yuuji’s thumb stroking the back of his neck, and squeezed him tighter.
Yuuji leaned down and kissed Junpei’s forehead again, whispering to him as he did so. “You’re gonna be fine, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Junpei sniffled, and mumbled into Yuuji’s shirt. “I just miss it… how stuff was before. I miss my mom… I miss the routines I had… I even miss the guys in the horror movie club…”
Yuuji seemed to perk up at that. “You were… in a horror movie club?”
Junpei nodded, and he could feel Yuuji kicking his feet back and forth under the covers.
“Dude, that’s so cool! I started an occult club at my school! You know, paranormal investigations and stuff? That’s… actually what got me into all this mess, really. We were doing some research and found one of Sukuna’s fingers. It was a whole thing, but I ended up… eating it.” Yuuji chuckled, clearly a little embarrassed about the whole technically-cannibalism thing.
“You ate it? Really?” Junpei asked, looking up at Yuuji.
“I- I mean, how else was I supposed to get its power? I needed to save my friends, so I did what I had to do!”
Junpei narrowed his eyes. “And the most logical thing to do was… crunching up a mummified pinkie?”
“Alright, a few things wrong there. First off, it was definitely a pointer, not a pinkie. Also, I didn’t crunch it at all. Just straight down the hatch.”
“…What.”
“Yeah, I just gulped it down. Like a pill!” Yuuji sounded a little too proud of that to Junpei.
Junpei grimaced. “That can’t have been pleasant.”
Yuuji shrugged. “Better than letting my friends die. And for what it’s worth, I think I’ve been doing pretty well on that front! Wouldn’t you agree, Guy I Saved?” His fingers ran through Junpei’s hair, lightly scratching his scalp.
Junpei shivered and snuggled up closer to Yuuji. “Yeah… yeah, I’d say you have…” He leaned up slightly and tentatively planted a small kiss on his cheek. Was that too far? Did I ruin it?
Yuuji’s arms held him closer, squeezing him tightly. “You’re really cute, Junpei. I really like you.” His voice was much softer now.
For the first time in a while, Junpei felt like he belonged. He rubbed his thumb against the knuckle of his index finger, trying to find an outlet for the joy and excitement and belonging he was feeling.
“Y-You do? Really?”
“Yeah, really! Do you think I would be in this bed with you cuddling if I didn’t like you?” Yuuji’s voice was so calming and soft.
Junpei hadn’t even noticed he had stopped crying until he rubbed his eyes and his hands came back dry. Yuuji had such a grounding presence. He could bring Junpei out of his own head just with a few words.
Junpei giggled. “Yeah, I guess that’s true…” He snuggled into Yuuji’s hoodie a bit more, feeling his chest rising and falling with each breath.
He felt a kiss on his forehead again. “You’re so pretty, too… Such a pretty boy… Have I ever told you how pretty you are, Junpei?”
Junpei fidgeted with his fingers as he hugged the other boy tighter. How was this guy real? He was just too nice. Too good. Too perfect. “N-No… You haven’t…”
“Good…” Then came another kiss on the forehead. “Because now I can tell you how pretty you are for the first time…” Then another.
Junpei’s cheeks burned hot, and he could tell he was probably blushing like crazy. He had never been called pretty before. Only a few people had ever complimented his appearance, and they were obviously joking. His mom used to tell him he “looked great,” but he hardly thought that counted. Parenthood came with a contractual clause stating you have to occasionally tell your kid they don’t look awful. At least the good parents did.
Junpei shuddered as he felt Yuuji’s hand on the back of his neck. “You’re so nice, Yuuji… You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met…”
Yuuji’s lips landed on his forehead again, almost touching his scars. He balked away a little, not wanting those to be brought up right now. Yuuji must have noticed, because he almost immediately perked up.
“Junpei? What happened? Did I do something wrong?” His voice was filled with genuine concern that it almost made Junpei tear up again, this time from joy.
“N-No… You didn’t do anything wrong! I just… don’t like my scars… to be brought up, that’s all.”
Yuuji nodded, and said in a mumbly tone that set Junpei’s cheeks ablaze, “That’s perfectly fine, then. We don’t have to go near there then, okay?”
Junpei nodded, letting out a small “Mhmm…”as he felt one of Yuuji’s hands moving down his back, and slipping under the hem of his t-shirt to feel his bare skin. He did the same, and his fingertips quickly found Yuuji’s back, tightly muscled and sturdy.
Yuuji was so warm. Junpei scooted up a little more, so that his face was level with Yuuji’s neck, prompting another round of forehead kisses. God. What had he done to deserve this guy?
“I like you a lot, actually,” Yuuji said, in that low, sleepy voice that made Junpei just want to do anything he asked.
Junpei couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned up and lightly, gently, carefully planted a small kiss on Yuuji’s lips. He pulled away quickly, not sure how to react or what to say or do afterwards.
Thankfully, Yuuji definitely knew what to do. He reached down, tilting Junpei’s chin up to face him again and moved their faces closer together until their lips met once more.
He stayed for longer this time, just laying there, his lips pressing against Yuuji’s. They were so warm, so soft, so perfect, that when he pulled away a few moments later to take a breath, his first feeling was not one of relief, of a breath of fresh air, but one of sadness, mourning the feeling of a perfect kiss he had only just felt.
He leaned in, still feeling Yuuji’s hand on his chin, and kissed him again, this time deeper. He raised his own hands up to cup Yuuji’s cheeks, and moved his thumb slowly up and down, softly petting them. He pressed his face against Yuuji’s and felt him doing the same, seemingly just as enthused about this as Junpei was.
After maybe a minute of on and off kissing, they both pulled away for a breath of fresh air, and if the heat on Junpei’s cheeks was any indication, they were both blushing a good deal.
The two of them lay there, sharing the pillow in silence for a moment. In his excitement, Junpei couldn’t help but flap his hands a little. With most people, he would have stopped himself, because almost without fail, his little expressions and ‘outbursts’ would make them uncomfortable. Here, though, with his best friend, he felt safe.
“So, um…” The sound of Yuuji’s voice startled Junpei slightly. He had gotten too in his own head again. “When did you realize you liked me?”
Junpei giggled. “This is going to sound a little embarrassing, but, um… I think right after our first meeting, with that little fly curse. It might have been sooner, but everything was so weird that I didn’t have time to think about how cute you looked.” He felt Yuuji’s hug grip a little tighter at that remark.
“What about you?” asked Junpei. “When did you start to like me?”
“Well, first, I wouldn’t phrase it like that. I liked you from the moment I first saw you, and never stopped. Well, except for when you tried to kill me, but even then, you weren’t that good at it, so I was still sort of rooting for you…” Yuuji said, leaning in for another quick peck on the mouth.
“Um, excuse you?” said Junpei, feigning outrage. “I was absolutely not trying to kill you, and if my heart had been in it, I could have stomped you!”
Yuuji giggled and ruffled Junpei’s hair, minding the part that covered his scars. “Oh, we’ll see about that tomorrow in training!”
Junpei laughed. “Oh, bring it on!” he declared, with as much cockiness as he could muster, before letting out a large yawn.
“Awww, are you tired?” Yuuji lowered his volume, snuggling up tighter as Junpei nodded and kissed his cheek.
“Mhmm… yeah, I think I’m ready to sleep. But are you sure you’re ok with staying here?” Junpei asked, yawning again.
Yuuji kissed his nose. “Of course I’m sure, Junpei. I really love spending time with you, and I’ll be sure to do this with you as much as I can!”
They kissed again, lips lingering together for what felt like forever, but according to Yuuji’s watch was only maybe 30 seconds. “Now time for sleep, pretty boy. You need your beauty rest for tomorrow, okay?” Yuuji said, putting extra loving emphasis on the pretty boy.
Junpei blushed and hugged him, cuddling up tight and feeling their chests rising and falling together. He focused on the breathing, letting everything else except for him and Yuuji fall away, drifting off to sleep soon after. Maybe things would end up okay after all.