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Hayden woke up somewhere foreign.
And promptly decided to shut his eyes and twist himself over to face the opposite direction of whatever he had just been facing.
He didn't want to know.
He didn't give a single fuck anymore.
Could the world do something as simple as let him not wake up again. Not…..die….that would be giving Sara what she wants.
But he sure as hell didn’t want to deal with the pain that was existing.
What point was there to anything anyway?
The only reason he even showed up to that stupid job was for pe-
No.
He didn't want to think about that.
He tried his best to ignore the prominent image that popped into his head of his…..coworkers….glossy stare and bloody uniform and cold hands and-
Fuck. It was too much.
He didn't have to open his eyes to know he was shaking from where he layed.
God, That boy was his last reason. He didn't even know what was out there for him beside the facility because of stupid fucking memory problems. So wherever was just…..wasn't worth it.
Let him rot for all he cares.
He's done.
He's done with this facility. He's done with Sara and the disappearances. He is sooooo fucking done with Waitt nicholson. And he's honestly so close to being done with life.
So yeah! He's staying right here until the world's next big tragedy strikes and decides to strike upon him specifically.
He gets about a few more minutes of self loathing and brooding while curled up into a wall before a noise alerts him.
The creaking of a door opening.
Hayden squeezes his eyes tighter foolishly hoping that would somehow make the noise go away.
“UH…….Norman? Is he broken?” a very high pitched voice calls out. Immediately annoying him.
“I’ve told you about 10 times…..he's not…broken, he's not a robot like us. But he is very very weak and sick so we should give him some space. We found him on the brink of death, morris.” At least this other voice seems to agree with him- if he recognizes it. He doesn't. He's not going to bother connecting it to a face.
“Yeah! But you said he was doing better!”
“He is, but not enough to what you're expecting.”
“Ok well…..when will he be ok?”
“Not for a while morris. We have to give him space.”
Hes not some fucking wounded animal! These people keep talking about him like he's not even there!
….he supposes he isn't really open to conversation right now.
He doesn't even have the energy to tell them to fuck off. There would be no point. Not like anyone ever listens to him anyway.
The duo kept making conversation. He didn't care enough to pay any more attention than that. It made him feel helpless, sure……but it was easier than being aware.
To just put everything on a blurr. Behind a screen almost. And seperate himself from it all.
Hes sure theres some fancy medical term for it that means he's doing a bad thing but his life is one whole bad thing so he can really care less about what some lunatic scientists think the correct way to deal with this shit is.
……
..
Why couldn't they have just let him die there?.......wouldn’t it been easier like that? They said it themselves, he was on the verge of death. So why save him?
Was this just another sick game from the universe? To not let him rest after everything. To not let him reunite with the only people he cared about….the only people that cared about him?
Was he selfish or selfless for that? For wishing for death? For the pain to be over? For the torment and cycle of twisted games to end?!
But he wasn’t even allowed that……
Eventually he fades out again. Back into sleep. He likes it better that way.
—--
When he wakes up next he is not granted a few minutes of silence.
Instead indistinct chatter falls on his ears.
But…..instead of annoying it vaguely feels comforting. Like if he zones out far enough they could almost sound like his friends.
He refuses to call them old friends or ex-friends. Because…..they were still friends even when they all ‘disappeared’ or more accurately died.
It’s nice to imagine the voices belong to Andrew and Audrey. They're close enough that it's easy to.
He doesn't want to be proven wrong so he once again pushes them out of the forefront of his mind and keeps his eyes closed and faced towards the wall.
While drifting out this time he was in a slightly better mood as he imagined Audrey and andrew being the ones talking above him.
–
“-ayden-”
Someone was vaguely calling out to him. Their voice fluctuated between static and present.
A hand was shaking him as well.
If he had the energy too he’d shove them off. Didn't they realize that he was done waking up? That he was ready to move on and let go of this life?
“-den! —-- Ple—you ne—”
He tried to pull away but the hand wouldn't let him.
Of course the world had to make it difficult to die too!
The hand pulled away first. Letting him lay back down.
Thankfully.
Someone understands what he's trying to achieve here-
A different type of palm- one that was smaller and much colder pushed at his back instead, causing him to startle and sit up.
Instinctively opening his eyes.
It was like taking a breath of fresh air. Everything popped and clicked into place. And he was able to perceive again.
It made him want to cry.
He had spent so long trying to push this shit away! He didn't want to be awake! He didn't want to be aware! Let him rot please!
“Hayden! There you are. You had us worried for a moment.”
Norman was…….one of the most unexpected faces to be met with.
Wait…..was he still at the fucking facility!? Nope! Fuck all of this shit actually!
Hayden ignored the blondes concern and turned around to lay back down.
“Uhg- that's not….your not….Hayden you have to eat. Its been nearly 2 days! On top of you already being sick, that's very unhealthy for you!”
“Good” he muttered. Throat squeezing up dryly with lack of both use and water.
“No! Opposite of that! You humans need this stuff to live! Come on! Pleaseeeeeee” What Hayden can only assume is that bat jester freak that follows Norman everywhere starts to poke at the side of his face with a spoon full of room temperature soup.
He rolls his eyes and pulls the blanket he’s been given over his head.
“Now that's not very polite is it?” a feathery shaped hand pulls it from off of him. Astra meets his very judgmental glare from above.
Hayden if anything is uncaring. He simply moves to burying his face into the pillow that he had been laying on.
“Norman, i don't think it’s working.” The bat whispers to his human friend
“Yes Morris i can see that. He's just……stubborn is all.”
“Just let me fucking die dude.” he mutters again, into the pillow.
Various gasps of shock and gasps come from the three looking over him.
“Hayden….thats…..serious. Come on you don’t really feel like that do you?” Astra calls out to him attempting to be sympathetic but it just come across to him as trashing and downplaying his situation.
“But…..but i made such good soup!” Morris complains.
“Now, now Hayden…..i know things may be difficult right now. But….is that what they would want you to do? Think about your-”
Hayden doesn’t let the man finish before the energy of only a man who has lost everything, strikes him and he shoots up from where he lays to go and grabs Norman by the collar of his ridiculous pink suit jacket and shakes him while ranting.
“You don't get to say shit about what they would have wanted for me! They are gone! They cant want anything anymore! Ok! You can poke at me and treat me like some pity project all you want but you don't get to say a fucking word about them. Not when you never met them! Not when you don't even know who or what your fucking talking about! Now leave me to rot in peace and go continue whatever quest you're on that makes you so much more important than anybody else!” He rasped, his words were squeaky and his throat stung afterwards.
Why did being angry make him so tired and out of breath?
He started to heave as his fingers loosened up around Norman's jacket. But he continued to stare down the blonde in rage as energy spilled back out of him.
“Im so-” he had started but was promptly shoved out of the way by a bat robot with a spoonful of soup that was shoved in haydens mouth.
Flustered and caught in surprise he spat the spoon out.
“What?......did you not like it?” Said bat looked at him with very heart broken eyes. “I didn’t know what soup you liked so I mixed 5 different flavors together for you! I was hoping you liked at least one of them……do you just not like soup?”
“I'm not hungry” He coughed and started to lay back down.
“Wrong. You are most definitely hungry, probably thirsty too if your voice is anything to go by. Do you know how hard it is to take you seriously when you sound like a rubber duck?” Astra shrugged and held out a glass of water towards him.
Water sounded fantastic right now actually- No….he needed to let himself turn to paste.
“Seriously though Hayden…..what's the point in all this? What good does it do to waste away?” Norman asked with a bit more concern this time.
“Escaping from the horrors”
“ You can do that without……all this you know. We found you in the facility nearly dead. Then you were gone. I'm sure Sara would hardly notice. Just move to another state and start a new life.” Astra offered. Hayden even in his stubbornly dreary state picked up on the flinch Norman took at the mention of his girlfriend's name.
“No point. Don't have the money. Plus Mr. pink is not his color over here's going to tattle tale on me anyway.”
“I’ve……moved past that. Im more than well aware of Saras actions at this point- not even just the demon possessing her ethier. Shes done terrible things to a lot of people. And a lot of those people didn’t have the option that you do Hayden. You can let her take one more life from this place. Or…..you can fight back. You can stand up to her. Even if its just by surviving to tell the tale that is one more person who's name won’t end up on a report of missing people…..or…..uh……will come back to prove didn’t deserve to be on that list-”
“But thats…..its so hard. To keep going. What if more people die? What if-”
“It's not about them then. Right now i'ts about you.” Astra supplies.
“But I should have taken their spots! I’ve worked there longer! I’ve yelled and swore at more customers than any other employee. I signed up for all the extra hours and programs that opened up once positions were lost. I made sure to take as many extra risks as I could to prevent anyone else from falling into them…….it was my file Pen was trying to grab. It should have been me. It always should have been me. I was supposed to be dead a long fucking time ago!”
“Well then the fact you're still here is pretty amazing!” Morris added in genuine awe.
“Yeah well……there is no one left to protect really. All the people who could ever care for me are dead. And i will refuse to care about anyone else because the second i do they will fall before me too.”
“If…..if you have no one else to care for you? Then i will!” Morris added on jumping about excitedly. “I think your pretty cool! I like the way you do your nails and dye your hair and maybe we could decorate our nails together sometime! Thats what caring is right?”
Hayden….the pure look of joy across the jester bats face was enough for him to tell that the sentiment was…..genuine. It wasn’t out of pity. Or a desire to deceive him. The robot simply just thought those things.
“I will too!” Astra chimed in. “Just tell us what you need or want and consider it done!”
He so badly wanted to believe it all.
“And hey! If….dying is what your worried about, well it's hard to kill someone twice. We're all already dead, so. Not much to worry about there.”
Now that was……less sweet and more confusing.
“Norman? How are you dead?” He stared at the blonde quizzically .
“Oh….uh….well…..Sara has a much higher body count than even you might think.” and slowly the….man? Raised a hand to his face and shifted apart what was apparently some sort of mask? Metal? To reveal fucking wires slithering around under his….not skin.
Hayden recoiled at the sight. Well that was…..not pretty.
Norman chuckled at the others reaction.
“Ooooooooo! Norman only shows that to people he trusts!” Morris sung mischievously. Causing the manager to blush and swat at the bat affectionately.
“It was only appropriate for the situation! That is all!” He defended.
“Uh uh. Yeah sure” Morris continued to tease.
While those two broke into some sort of overly-dramatic argument completely with a lot of hand swating. Astra bent back over to offer him the glass of water again.
“How about now?” She asked, tempting him with the refreshing liquid.
“Fine.” He growled and took the cup from her hands, ignoring her sly smile as he did.
It took a little bit more convincing to get him to eat the by then, cold, soup. But he ended up trying it……only to have to lie to Morris about the ... ..quality of his concoction as Astra went to heat up a bowl of regular chicken noodle.
Now Hayden still did not fully believe he deserved any of this. But there were probably better ways to go than rot. And…..maybe this odd little trio was better than he thought.