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Gettin' too dark to see…
Zhao carefully took hold of the frame of his shades, dipping one of the temples into his shirt. He'd let them hang there and allow his eyes to get used to the unfiltered night sky. It wasn't too dark, thankfully. The streetlights, still functioning food trucks, and the city across the water made sure of that. Even still, the shades had been making things tougher to see. By this point, it was just stupid to keep wearing them for tonight.
Things were going surprisingly well, Zhao couldn't help thinking to himself. It hadn't been like he'd been expecting it to go poorly. Nah… Kasuga was too sweet of a guy. Even if the date was a bust, Zhao figured he would still have enough of a nice time just hanging out with him. The initial awkwardness at the beginning aside, everything had really gone… great. Hell, Zhao even thought that cream colored get-up he'd worn had been a nice show of effort. It looked good on him. Shame that didn't last too long.
A lunch date had turned into them spending the whole damn day together.
…Better not to read too far into that. They'd had fun, that was a given. But still, Kasuga was new to this. Kind to a fault. Zhao just wasn't gonna get his hopes up. At least if things did end up going better than expected, he'd be pleasantly surprised.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kasuga's shoes. Looking over toward him, Zhao watched as he was half-jogging over with a couple of drinks in hand. A small smile pulled at Zhao's lips.
"Hey, sorry," Ichiban breathed, "couldn't find a vending machine." He reached out to hand Zhao one of the bottles of green tea he'd bought for them. Zhao accepted it with ease, immediately starting to open it up with a soft chuckle.
"Don't sweat it," he assured before taking a short sip from it.
"Oh, you…"
Re-capping the bottle, Zhao looked up to see Kasuga still standing beside him. Kind of staring at him.
"...you took off your shades?" Oh. Was that it? Kasuga finally began to sit down on the park bench beside him, though he'd still keep his gaze on Zhao. "Sorry. I just don't think I've seen you without 'em before." Did he look that different without them? Then again, he remembered wincing at the sight of his father without his glasses on. Must've been weird to see.
"Gettin' a little too dark to wear 'em, even just to look cool. So unless you plan on guidin' me everywhere, I had to take 'em off," Zhao would jokingly explain, earning a slight shake of Kasuga's head.
"No, no– I get it. Though I… I wouldn't mind it! Guiding you around, I mean…"
He was getting nervous again, at least from what Zhao could tell. He hadn't been stuttery like this since earlier in the afternoon. Was seeing more of his eyes really having that much of an effect on him? Whatever it was, he wouldn't bother to point it out. No point. It'd probably just make the guy even more tense than he was now. Taking the heat off him might help, though.
Zhao looked away from Kasuga, looking back toward the water. The rainbow colors of the ferris wheel made it so damn pretty. A nice end to a great day.
"I figured today was gonna be fun, but damn… I haven't done anything like this in ages. Probably not since I took over the Liumang." Zhao paused, allowing his gaze to drift back toward his date. He'd looked up from his anxious staring to look at him, too. "Appreciate it. You hangin' out with me." He lost Kasuga's gaze again. If Zhao didn't know any better, he would've thought Kasuga thought he was hideous to look at without the shades now.
"Oh– uh, sure. I'm happy we both had fun." Then came a heavy, heaving sigh from him. Again, if Zhao didn't know any better, he would've had the distinct feeling that he was about to be broken up with. So then, the hell was he sighin' like that for?
"You all right?" Zhao asked, a short breath of hesitant laughter of his own sneaking out. "Heavy sigh like that… Guess you got somethin' weighin' on ya? Or am I missin' the mark and you're just tired as hell?"
"So, listen…" Focus, Tianyou. It's Kasuga-kun we're talking to here. Hearing shit like that doesn't mean anything coming from him yet. Just settle the fuck down for a sec and hear him out. "I know I'm not really a catch. Even after everything this year, I'm still basically just scraping by every day…" Okay, definitely not where he thought this would go. Wait. A catch? …Oh! Oh, that's all this was. It wouldn't be difficult to keep his smile to himself, realizing where this was going. Damn, it'd really been forever since he'd seen anyone really get this dramatic and passionate over asking someone to be their boyfriend or girlfriend. Kasuga really was adorable.
"I'm not very bright, and I suck at studying, too. Hell, Captain Sawashiro called me a dumbass every chance he got." Finally, Kasuga would turn himself back slightly toward Zhao to look him straight in the eyes. Now that he'd finally gotten himself started, it wasn't like he'd be able to stop. "But still! I've got a steady job now, and I take it really seriously. People even seem to like me around the office." Zhao held his bottle of green tea tightly in his hand, his thumb feeling the cold plastic beneath it, as though the only thing keeping him grounded.
"Physically… speaking, I guess I'd say I'm pretty strong. I mean– … Not like I need to impress you much with that… You're already plenty strong yourself. Sometimes I wonder which one of us might be stronger, but with how good you are at practically everything? I wouldn't doubt that it was you. I don't drink or smoke excessively. I can't really say I don't gamble, but, well, it's really more of a hobby than anything else, you know?" Did Kasuga-kun really think he cared about all of that stuff?
"The point is… I don't really have too much to offer. But when it comes to you, I'd give everything I have to make you happy!" Zhao didn't know how he'd ended up smiling while listening to all of that, but he guessed it was kinda inevitable. Kasuga was too damn endearing for his own good. He was like the kinda guy he would've had a huge crush on when he was 14.
"So, uh… let me ask you…" Suddenly, he was on his feet. His own bottle of tea had been placed down on the bench, leaving Zhao to look up at Kasuga as he stood out in front of him.
"Will you…" Ichiban immediately bowed at the waist before him. "Will you marry me?!"
The shock of what Kasuga actually said hit Zhao like a train. Before he could even think to hold it back, laughter began to bubble out of him. High pitched giggles that Zhao could hardly keep to himself. It wasn't funny, he knew that. It was just… fuck, what the hell was he supposed to say to that? He was amazed. Did he really just say that?
"Wh– What?"
Watching his expression as he straightened up, it was clear that Ichiban had been hurt by the laughter. He would force a laugh out himself, as though trying to be "in on the joke." Zhao felt bad, and was quick to try to reel his shock in. He wasn't making fun of him, he really wasn't. Even as bizarre as this was.
"I mean it, Zhao. I swear on my honor as a man, no matter what happens: I'll always be there for you." Oh God, he was still going. "Listen. I know we're both trying our best to adjust to civilian life. To run your own restaurant and trying to keep the peace between you and your former guys? It's incredible! But… but if we're together, you won't have to worry about that all on your own anymore. I'll–"
"Kasuga-kun," Zhao interrupted finally. Part of him wanted to hear just how long he'd keep going, but honestly? He wasn't sure how much more of it he could take. It already was beginning to feel like he was choking, just from the words. It was just… a little overwhelming. Setting his drink down, he'd reach out to carefully take hold of Kasuga's hand. He'd pull him closer and guide him back over to sit beside him on the bench.
"Sorry," he began. For a flash before he continued, he saw disappointment over Kasuga's expression. "I didn't mean to laugh at you." That appeared to make him relax a bit more. "You just surprised me." Getting that across felt more important than the proposal in that moment. He wasn't making fun of him. Not by a long shot.
"Are you really sure 'bout this? I mean, it's only been one date, Kasuga-kun. Would'a thought you'd probably wanna test the waters a bit more, y'know? Y'gotta remember that I'm the former head of the Liumang, right?" Obviously Kasuga wouldn't have forgotten, but it just didn't feel like he was thinking this all the way through. Maybe he was just feeling overtaken by the moment. By the feeling of a really great first date. Kasuga hadn't dated anyone before him, so maybe he was just getting a little over excited about all of this. He watched Kasuga nod.
"Yeah, I know," he expressed, "and I'm sure. I know I'm new to all'a this, but I really have been thinking about this. With how things are right now anyway, it's kinda more just… just like a promise." That's what an engagement was, Ichi… "I don't have the money for a ring right now. Just myself and my devotion to offer. After spending the day with you, though, I'm even more certain than I was before. Please, Zhao Tianyou. I've never taken anything in my life as seriously as I have with this. Will you marry me?"
…Okay, he wouldn't lie. Hearing his name coming out of his mouth like that sent his heart racing. Shit. What the fuck was this guy doing to him? Had him acting like some kid. But, promising marriage? That was crazy. Even without the pressure of popping out an heir, the idea of marriage was daunting. He guessed, though… if he had to do it with anyone, he'd prefer it to happen with someone like Kasuga. Someone supportive, loving, and he wasn't afraid of getting another knife in the back from. Kasuga-kun would never do that.
Hell, Kasuga would probably be a pretty good husband. Definitely the best of any of the guys he'd dated in his life. Anyway, it was like he said. It was more of a promise than anything. It wasn't gonna happen tomorrow. Hell, it would never happen as it was, given Japan's laws.
So, y'know… what was stopping him from saying yes?
The silence seemed to be making Kasuga anxious again. Say something, man. Stop keeping the guy waiting and panicking.
Inhaling deeply, Zhao unintentionally squeezed Ichiban's hand in his own. He squeezed back, bringing Zhao's head back to Earth. Was that his answer then?
Just say it. Say the first thing that comes to your head.
"...Okay. Yeah. Yes, Ichiban. I'll marry you."
"What?"
Zhao saw in real time how the answer would hit him. The sight of his eyes widening, mouth going agape. Zhao could only imagine what was going through his head. He looked like he was at a loss for what to do, to say. Clearly he hadn't really thought about what would happen if he made it this far. The silence felt longer than it was, especially as it was suddenly broken by Ichiban launching himself to his feet and calling out in triumph. Fist pumped in the air, it looked more like he'd just beaten a really hard level of some game, rather than his proposal of marriage getting accepted.
Even still, a warmth swelled within Zhao's chest. To see him this damn excited about even just the potential of marrying him? Goddamn, it was so cute. Ichiban was probably the only man in the world to be excited for that potential. A bit of a depressing thought, but ah well. If that one person was gonna be Ichiban, Zhao would be happy with that.
Before any words left either of them, Ichiban sat himself back on the bench and wrapped his arms around Zhao. Zhao was pulled tightly to his chest, sending his eyes widening slightly and only a slight twinge of worry about the state of his shades. Soon enough, though, he'd relax into the warmth that was enveloping his body. He didn't dare pull away from it, even when he knew he really had no intention of reciprocating it. Instead, he heard his heart thumping hard in his chest. He didn't know what to do, what to say. So there he stayed.
After some time, though, Zhao did finally attempt to pull away from the embrace. Just enough to give them both some space, and for them to be able to look directly at one another again.
"Think I could–"
"Of course! A million times yes!" Well, that made things easier. A short breath of laughter escaped Zhao. With that in mind, he'd carefully bring his left hand up to cradle Ichiban's jaw. Tilting his head just slightly, Zhao leaned in to press his lips to Ichiban's. To his fiancé's lips. …God, he was gonna get so much shit for that later.
Ichiban tasted like the red bean buns they'd gotten before heading over to the park, though the lingering cigarette taste wasn't quite the greatest complement to that. Wasn't the end of the world, though. He'd kissed a lot worse.
Zhao pulled away after a few moments, but kept their faces in close proximity. Still breathing each other's air, staring into each other's eyes as they tried to catch their breath.
"Good?"
"Yeah… I– um… That was my…"
"Kinda figured. Don't worry. You did fine," Zhao assured, smiling sweetly at Ichiban, "got plenty of time to get better, too. Don't sweat it." He pecked Ichiban on the lips. A goofy, giddy grin spread out across Ichiban's face. He already figured this would be a part of dating Ichiban, teaching him how things worked. Even without much hope that they'd actually end up anything close to being married, Zhao still didn't feel too bad about teaching Ichiban about this stuff. He'd learn more of how things go, and… well, maybe he'd come to his senses later on. Zhao wouldn't blame him.
He'd probably be a pretty shit husband.
On the other hand, Ichiban? Ichiban would be such a good husband.