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Money was such a precious thing worth sacrificing almost anything for. It was the reason why people work and it was also how people lived because without money, life would be almost impossible. Money is time but it is also the cause of many problems that we need not delve into at the moment. The important thing was the Strawhats are going to spend some time and a bit of their dignity (nothing to worry about) appeasing some judges and a crowd.
“Whatever made you think this was a good idea?” The green-haired swordsman gritted irritably, marching beside Luffy and following a ginger head who, the complete opposite of him, skipped gleefully.
“Hmm? Zoro, do you want me to explain to you why we're doing this again?” She says in a fake pleasing tone. “We need to win that money so the amount you guys will spend would be patched up.”
“Tch, you should've just asked the love cook to play along then.”
She frowns. “You're all using the budget so we all participate. Besides the more people, the better our chances of winning!” She starts smiling again, eyes glimmering like coins.
Zoro sighs.
“Don't worry, I won the award for the most wanted man that women could want twelve years ago!” Usopp assures the group.
“Woow! Really?!” Luffy shouts, very impressed by the sniper’s boast.
“You were like what, five?” the still grumpy swordsman counters.
“Ah no, actually…” Usopp falters trying to bring credit to his lie.
“Don't worry about those amateurs who know nothing about love, Nami-san! I'll win this competition for you!” The blonde chef gushed passionately.
“I'm so glad I can rely on you, Sanji-kun,” Nami sends him a smile.
The group approaches the haphazard stage made with mismatched wood and doused in pink paint. It was tacky to say the least.
“Well, looks like we're here,” she stops and they all look at her for directions.
“Dear participants! The contest for The Charmer is about to begin in a couple minutes! Prepare to get on stage soon!” a loud voice rang out into the small crowd of onlookers.
Nami gathers the crew around her and makes sure everyone keeps their very important task in mind.
“Put on your charm, I don't care how you do it, just woo the judges and bag that prize money,” the navigator says earnestly, enough to scare some poor kids who happen to overhear her.
“Eh, but I don't know how to flirt,” Luffy raises a hand, the other is caught picking his nose.
Nami’s eyebrow twitched and she sighs. “Just do your best and follow our examples. Remember, we're getting that money to buy food and other things,” she emphasizes the ‘food’ so Luffy would be more motivated.
The rubber boy was easily entertained by that thought and seemed to be quite hyped to take on anything.
“Any more questions?” A hand hovers in the air. “None? Alright, great, time to destroy the competition!”
Usopp looks dejected and plenty unsure of what he had signed up for. He followed his crew backstage and listened in as the host explained what they would be doing. Then the awaited time arrived.
The ragged curtains open, some tinted flashlights shone down onto the stage where eight seats appear from the shadows.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to The Charmer’s third tour of the East Blue, this time docking at the infamous island, Loguetown! This is your host, Camelia, and I am so pleased to announce the start of the contest!” A big lady in a tight hot-pink dress spits eagerly into the mic.
The crowd watches just a bit intrigued, wondering if this little stage was actually a popular performance.
In the eight seats, each labeled with numbers one to eight, sits in order from left to right, a bearded man in his late twenties, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Luffy, Nami, a lean young man fit for a model, and finally a woman in casual wear and sunglasses. Across from the participants sat the three judges, one man and two women, none with anything particular to note.
“Okay! Each participant will have two chances, each thirty seconds long to please the judges. Each judge will give a rating 1-10 and the participants’ score will consist of all the ratings totaled. The winner for 300,000 beri will be the one with the highest score!”
Nami drools in excitement at the prospect of the cash resting in her hands. Luffy drools for a different reason.
“Are you excited?” Camelia asks the crowd. She gets a mix of responses. “Good, we shall start with No. 7!”
Number 7 was the model-like man sitting to the right of Nami. He stands up and takes the mic from the center stage. Clearing his throat, he thinks for a brief moment.
“Do you know what's on the menu today?” He asks with confidence. “Me ‘n u” it was said so casually one would think this man flirted on a daily basis.
He receives some cheers from the crowd, some boos and 5-7-8 (20 pts) from the judges. He takes a seat.
“Well that looks like a great start! Next we have No. 6!” Camelia gestures to Nami.
The tangerine loving woman smiles coyly and takes the mic.
“Are you treasure? Because I'm dying to make you mine~” she says with a wink and a flush to add that bit of impact.
“Nami-swan! I'll be your anything!” Sanji supports her from his seat.
The crowd loves it and her score shows up as a 8-6-7. (21 pts)
“Hmm not too bad,” she mutters before taking her seat.
“Wow, the little lady packs quite a punch, almost enough to give us a nosebleed!” Camelia comments. “No. 5 is up!”
She is met with silence. Nami nudges Luffy. “That's you!” She whisper-yelled.
“Oh, right,” he bounces to the center stage itching to get his hands on the mic.
“Hello everyone! I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I’m the man who's going to be the King of the Pirates!” his voice projects loudly into the audience. Some people murmur in surprise and disbelief.
“Luffy!” Nami hisses. Zoro snorts in amusement.
“Got it!” The captain replies. “Uhh how did it go? Are you meat? Because I’ll gobble you right up!”
Sanji facepalms, “Of course that idiot’s thinking about food.”
Usopp snickers but gives Luffy a thumbs up. Luffy grins widely.
Nami groans and tries to reassure their chances, “Hey at least it's something of a pick-up line.”
The crowd seemed displeased and few actually found it memorable. The judges gave him 6-4-3. (13 pts)
“Well… I’m not sure what to say about that one. It’s quite an innocent line for sure if you know what I mean,” Camelia directs the crowd and urges them to ignore the first part about being pirate king. “Next we have… No. 3!”
“Guess it’s my turn now,” The blonde says with a smirk, his walk to the center stage reeking of confidence and sass. He flips his hair and without any hesitation starts rambling love confessions directed at any and all ladies he could see.
“Sweetheart I’ll make any food you want with all my heart!” He pledged to a petite girl at the front of the crowd. He then redirects his advances to a lady in a blue blouse somewhere else. “Oh I would drown in your beauty and let your body take me away in waves. If you could only do me a favor to resurrect me with a kiss <3!”
Zoro and Usopp groan at his antics, reminded of his usual behavior they’ve witnessed at a near hourly occurrence. The swordsman tunes the ramblings out and closes his eyes.
“At least he’s putting it to good use,” Nami grins with greed.
Luffy watches on owlishly trying hard to decipher the arts of flirtation.
“Oh my! Now that's an energetic young man who can string the whole audience up into his dance!” Camelia comments animatedly, arms jittering.
The judges seem to agree, and present their scores: 9-9-6. (24 pts)
“Nice job, Sanji!” Usopp praises.
“A-amazing! We have a new highest score! Can anyone else beat this handsome charmer?” Camelia pauses for suspense and continues with the next participant. “Next in line is… No. 8! Will the mysterious lady step up to the challenge?”
All eyes turn to the lady in shades who smiles and walks up to the mic, her shoes tapping in the near silence.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave, you’re making everyone else in here look bad,” the woman finished in a flourish and despite her simple hoodie, she looks like she'll rock any outfit she wears.
“Damn! That was badass..” Usopp stares with wide eyes.
“Hmph, that wasn't that impressive,” says No. 7, the lean man with pretty looks.
Sanji swoons. “My lady, please take me out~!”
Meanwhile Nami gets a competitive look in her eyes, clenching her fists and mutters under her breath some very unspeakable things I dare not mention here.
Luffy blinks in confusion and Zoro… well he fell asleep and was risking a beatdown from Nami later on.
“And… the crowd goes wild! Her line nearly stole my breath away!” Camelia literally starts bouncing on her feet and getting too excited.
“Hey lady, calm down!” No. 1 shouts out.
The announcer ignores it and turns her attention to the judges. “And the results are?”
The judges raise their scores: 10-6-7. (23 pts)
“That's the second highest score we have right now! Can the next contestant top No. 3 and No. 8?” Without any further ado she calls out the next number. “No. 4 you're up!”
Hearing his number called, Usopp couldn't help but shake in his boots but soon enough he channeled his flamboyant energy and approached the mic with ease.
“Hah, did you all come to watch Captain Usopp steal all your hearts with just a few words? Well listen carefully!” He smirks and crouches to lower his eye level to those of the nearby audience and continues with a soft whisper into the mic.
“Let's be adults here, I'm certain you're all expecting something more… savory. Do you want me to tell you something pleasant, so good you won't be able to sleep tonight? But hmm, what should I say?”
“Usopp! What the hell?!” Nami screeches in shock.
Sanji looks on at the scene bug-eyed and Zoro snores away.
“Yeah Usopp, you didn't even say a pick-up line!” Luffy interferes.
“That's not the point!” Nami sends a punch at Luffy. “What kind of material have you been reading?”
Luffy rubs the bump on his head and pouts dramatically.
“Ah um.. well just something here and there,” his suave persona is now gone. “I stumbled upon some books in Kaya’s library once…”
“Oh… wow.. this is quite unexpected but not unwelcome,” Camelia states, voicing most of the audience's thoughts.
The long shooter earns… 10-8-6! (24 pts).
“And… he ties with No. 3!!” The lady in pink shouts into her mic so enthusiastically the audience in the front row can't help but cover their ears. “We now have two possible first place winners! Now moving on to No. 1! Can this man follow up behind such powerhouses?”
The bearded man steps up to the plate nonchalantly ignoring all the pressure the crowd is giving him. He stands there thinking for 20 seconds and in the final 10 does he say something.
“I'm learning about important dates in history, wanna be one of them?” He smirks at the crowd waiting for their reaction.
“Well that wasn't bad but just a bit mild compared to the ones we had before,” Camelia says. No. 1 frowns dissatisfied and heads back to his seat without even waiting for his score.
The judges send their appraisal of his performance: 6-7-7 (20 pts).
“And last for round one, we have… No. 2!!” Eyes look at the snoring green-haired man who had completely missed his cue.
“Zoro… wake up!” Nami shouts at him to no avail. “Luffy, wake him up,” she threatened.
Luffy stretches his right arm back and throws his fist forward two meters, striking Zoro in his stomach and waking him up.
“Huh…?” he clutches his abdomen and grunts.
Luffy tosses the mic into his hand and everyone looks at the man expectantly.
“If you're looking for a fight, don't even bother. I’ll sweep you off your feet and take you out easily.” He was met with silence.
The crowd cheers. “And the sleeping rabbit catches up to the race unexpectedly!” The announcer continues her job with hidden surprise.
“Huh, not bad, I guess I won't add anymore to your debt,” Nami relents.
Sanji gains that competitive fire in his eyes, his expectation of watching the mosshead’s eventual fluke completely ruined.
“Well, what do our judges give him?” They raised their boards for Camelia to see. “8-9-6! (23 pts). That's tied for second place with No. 8! And this ends round one! Time for the second and final round for the decisive win!”
The participants seem nervous, motivated and some unbothered as they wait for the next number to be called.
Camelia smiles, making up her mind, “We'll start with No. 5 this time!”
“Okay, I'm first!!” Luffy runs up in excitement as if going first would up his chances.
“Uh… let's see what do I say…” he talks to himself trying to make up something which definitely was not his strong point.
“Luffy, think of a compliment,” Nami whispers.
“Oh! That's a good idea. Hmm if I had to choose between you and meat to share, I’ll choose meat but I’m only sharing it with you!”
“Ohh the innocent meat loving boy strikes again!” Camelia provides helpfully.
He gains various facepalms and sighs from his crew. “Of course…”
“Hey, I'm being nice here! I wouldn't share my meat with just anyone!”
“How do the judges rate the boy’s sacrifice of meat?” Camelia directs the question to the three judges. “No. 5 gets… 7-6-7! (20 pts) That was an improvement from last round. He has 33 points in total! Up next is the long nose contestant who tied first place, No. 4!”
Usopp walks up confidently to the stage and ponders quietly. “I should probably be a bit more tame this time. Don't want Nami questioning my activities..” he shivers.
“I’ll make you the happiest person and you know I don’t tell lies because they all come true,” he says with a wink.
“Hmm? Not as much impact this time,” Camelia responds.
“Usopp you better not be holding back,” the navigator says menacingly.
“Eek!”
“I’m not too sure about the lie part, but he’s not that bad at flirting,” Zoro butts in completely unaware of Usopp’s previous performance.
“Haha thanks Zoro.”
“It’s definitely better than last time!” Luffy pipes up.
“You guys are all … hopeless,” Nami complains. The crew was insufferably dense.
“If you’re not gonna go on the offense, then I will,” Sanji challenges.
Hearing that, Camelia decides to choose him for the next participant. “Alright! The next one will be No. 3!”
“Wait!” One of the judges interrupted. “We have yet to give No. 4 his score.”
“Oh you’re right. Let us see it then,” she waits. The judges show their scores. “7-5-5 (17 pts) well that was certainly lower than last time,” she says with disappointment. “No. 4 has a grand total of 41 points! Moving on, the other contestant that tied in first place, No. 3!”
The ladies man rises to the cheers of the crowd. He taps the mic two times before the noise dies down. He was ready to begin.
“Do the ladies prefer something rough?” He smirks but his voice was laced with innocence. “Then I shall entertain your desires.” Sanji picks out a woman from the mass and prepares his lines.
“Mademoiselle, I’ll make you something sweet, just make sure to pay me back with a taste of your sweet lips~” the spreading red ink on her face only builds his confidence more.
“And you my love,” he looks into the eyes of a lady in a pretty red dress, capturing her attention easily. “If you want to look nice, I can dress you up in my special ingredient. Just don’t complain if it’s too sticky~”
The girl in red almost crumbles to her knees. Sanji’s flirtation prompts Nami to berate him uselessly, her red cheeks giving away her embarrassment for her crewmate.
Zoro looks away cringing and wishing to forget everything he heard that past minute.
“Ah! I’m so sorry, my lady. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to offend you,” Sanji apologizes to the girl innocently, his voice dripping with concern.
“Now this is quite a turn of events! The flirt shows his gentlemanly side!” The robust woman in pink announces. “And the judges say… 8-8-10! (26 pts) Incredible! This brings No. 3’s final score up to 50 points! He is currently in the lead, can anyone top this?!”
Nami smirks triumphantly, “we're definitely getting that prize money!”
Camelia grins at that. “Next we have… No. 6, the charming redhead!”
Before Nami could grab the mic, a loud Boom echoed from backstage.
“What the-”
“What's going on?!”
The stage falls apart, easily torn up when it was already poor quality and sending clouds of dust into the air. Luckily no one was hurt. From within the mess of wood and dust appears three figures dressed in black clothes and carrying a large sack.
“Haha, we've taken your prize money!” The one carrying the sack exclaimed.
“What?! My food money!”
“My money!” Nami was furious.
“Give that back, please!” Cried Camelia.
The three thieves took off running and pushing through obstacles.
“After them!” Nami ordered.
“On it, Nami-san!”
“Ugh bossy witch.”
“What. Was. That?”
Zoro and Nami have a short staring contest before he gives up and chases the thieves, hot on their tails.
Not even ten minutes later, the thieves are caught by the monster trio and hauled back in ropes.
“We have a problem. There's no money in that bag, just stage props and clothes,” Sanji reports.
Nami was confused. She looked through the sack and confirmed Sanji's words.
“Explain yourselves!” Nami stares down at the three thieves in black.
They don't say anything which prompted Nami to peel off their masks. Everyone was shocked to see the faces of the three judges behind the mask.
“You better have a good reason for this or else,” Nami cracks her fingers intimidatingly.
“Eeek!!” They squealed in fear. “The host, Camelia, came up with this idea!”
Everyone looks at the lady in the hot pink dress.
“Continue,” Nami commands.
“She said she wanted her show to get popular but she didn't want to spend anything for the prize so she made this scheme so that no one would get it!” the former judge confessed.
Nami turns her poisonous smile at the now sweating host. “Well? How will you pay us?”
The crowd was eating this drama up and there was no way out for the poor woman. She soon succumbed to the pressure knowing she had lost everything. And in this way, the Strawhats had gained another win and some precious money for their shopping.