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One step. Another one. One more.
It's going to be fine. You're going to be fine.
The words were practically a mantra as Akoni repeated them over and over again, each pass numbing the ache that jolted through her shoulder and down her arm just a little bit more, but she knew from experience that it was temporary.
Yet another mesmer trick, really.
And, despite the fading pain, her steps were still slow as she made her way across the room, careful to stay close to the wall. She could feel the curious glances of the few people milling about turn her way, but only briefly as their attention slid off to things more important than a small, scraggly, frost-blue sylvari.
Save for one person: a human, shuffling papers from behind a prominently large desk that was set by the far wall. Dread welled up inside her as he spotted her approach.
"Do you have… um… anything new?" Akoni asked softly, trying to cut off the questions she could see in those forest green eyes as he climbed to his feet.
"Not yet. Still the same lot as when you last popped by." He looked her up and down, those finely boned features of his twisting with concern. "Maybe you should take a day or two off?"
She flinched despite his kind tone. "No, I–"
"I told you that mark was too much." She didn't miss the note of exasperation laced throughout the Lionguard's words. He rubbed through his mop of hair absently as he looked to the board of contracts that made up an entire wall. "Maybe there'll be some around your level tomorrow, or you could partner up with someone else here and split the bounty."
The corners of the sylvari’s thin lips lifted slightly in a silent hiss, her grip on her arm tightening slightly. Her tone cool and cutting, "I don't need a partner; I don't need anyone to tell me what I can or can't handle."
I can take care of myself. I have to take care of myself.
The man looked skeptical, though before he could say anything, a sharp, nasally voice cut in.
"There's no need to baby the help. All they want is money, anyway."
An asura waddled past, his wide face pinched even more sternly thanks to the dark lines that ran across his pale forehead and cheeks, as he served her the most dismissive of side-eyes. Though he wore the same uniform as the man before her, the additional few stripes pinned to his sleeve explained the deference the human had as he quickly gave way to the newcomer.
Not that Akoni had to show the same respect, but she swallowed the retort that was already biting away in her throat, her jaw tensing as she forced herself to take a deep breath. It wasn't as though the asura was wrong: she did need the money. Badly. It had been a rough few nights out in the open, especially with winter biting at the evening's heels, and she was prepared to kill for a hot meal and a warm bed. But, the distant yet nagging ache in her shoulder and side reminded her of her priorities.
Healer first. Get my arm looked at. Can't earn more if I can't fight properly.
Her vision blurred briefly, and she hoped it was just from exhaustion, and not from the sharp pangs in her belly.
She wasn't shaking– yet – so it wasn't that bad.
Yet.
More words were exchanged between both Lionguard– hushed tones from the first, snippy comments from the second– but whatever was said faded from her hearing as she rifled through the various flyers on the table.
Those asking for help, she set aside. Help meant meeting other people. Working with others. She was a creature of instinct, and instinct told her others could be bad. Others could be trouble.
The bounties were what she was really after. All she needed to do was hunt down her prey and kill. And on the rare times someone else came along, it was easy enough to simply go into stealth and retreat.
She dismissed the first on the pile instantly. Clearing a small centaur camp. Even if she tried to slowly pick them off, they had a tendency to patrol in twos or threes, with a few of those vicious rock dogs they were so fond of. She was desperate, not stupid; she knew when she was outnumbered.
The second was cast aside almost as quickly. A problematic ettin that had taken to raiding some local farmer's fields. She could take them on… but they were risky. The main issue she had was that, despite her being vastly more agile than they were, their hits were hard if– when – they landed, and their size allowed them to soak up most of her strikes. She had to make sure her attacks were perfect every single time. They only had to do so once.
Her mouth thinned as her shoulder throbbed at the memory. It had been more than evident in the last fight she had, when she had mistimed a dodge and was forced to block instead, only for the sheer force of its club to send her crashing into the cavern wall. Luckily a precast mantra staved off the daze that had threatened to incapacitate her, but she could feel her consciousness wavering as she scrambled among the debris to duck under the following swing. When a second ettin had shown up, she'd been forced to cut her losses and retreat.
The rest were barely any better. A bandit trio, just north of Lion's Arch. An eruption of elementals disrupting one of the roads. Ogres: even worse than ettins. At least the latter's two heads tended to bicker and argue amongst themselves in the midst of battle, which made for a useful distraction.
She felt something in her chest sink as she realized the man was right.
Maybe… maybe the ettin. I can try again. I can… I can maybe stun it first. Or go all in– use two swords instead of a shield. Or play it safe with a greatsword? If I can just–
"Hey."
Something brushed against her fingers. Her hand was on the grip of her sword before she knew it, purple-pink lips pulled back into a snarl as her cyan glow burst in warning flashes, right down to the roots of her white vines. The young Lionguard froze before her, his own hand outstretched, and Akoni had to force herself to ease back, vehemently ignoring the derisive snort from the still-watching asura.
"I don't know why you even bother," he said dismissively as he grabbed a stack of papers and began pinning them up on the board, catching the attention of a few other hunters who were milling about.
Akoni kept silent, though her gaze darted between the bounties being posted up and the guard standing before her.
After a stretch of silence– Akoni still watchful as he scratched at his ear awkwardly– the man finally gave a sigh as he placed a small pile of coins before her.
"There's a tavern by the wharf," he said, stealing a glance at the asura, though it seemed that he was distracted by hunters grilling him for information and waving a poster about. "Ask for Illea, and tell her Teraal sent you. She'll get you sorted out."
"Why?" The sylvari couldn't help but be suspicious. "What for?"
"You look like you could use a hot meal." He shrugged, giving the coins a meaningful nudge and her a kind smile. "Then you'll be back to beating things up for us tomorrow, eh?" Seeing her wariness, the smile turned rueful as he stepped back. He gave her a final nod before walking off to talk to the next hunter.
Though still hesitant, Akoni's gaze strayed back to the coins. A good handful of copper: enough for a loaf of bread, maybe even a bowl of stew… but…
It was ok. It was ok. She didn't ask, and he had freely offered. She didn't owe him anything.
Didn't owe anyone anything.
Mind made up, she hurriedly pocketed the coins before leaving, gaze fixed to the floor to avoid attracting any more attention than she already had.
By the time she reached the door, her reluctance was already forgotten as she reassessed her situation. The pangs in her belly had worsened now that her pockets were slightly heavier with the promise of something to eat, but the ache in her shoulder and arm was making itself felt, morphing into a sharpness that bit deep through flesh and sank its teeth into bone.
Her mantra was wearing off, and she dredged up the last of her energy to bend that pain back into a dull echo.
But, at the same time, her limbs were beginning to feel that drawn out lethargy that she hated was so familiar. That, accompanied by the slight blurring of her vision, made her take a shuddering breath.
Food. Yes, okay. Need food. Sky's been looking good; I can still sleep outside. Skip the stew. Make do with bread. Use leftover coins to stock up on rations. Then see if I still need a healer tomorrow.
Wait. Would she have enough money for a healer then? What if her magic wore off, or if her injuries wors–
No. Not important. Her magic should– would – suffice for now. Besides, when had she actually last eaten something that wasn't foraged off the land? She couldn't remember.
A small hiss from between gritted teeth as her pitch black eyes hardened into obsidian, as though keeping the pain away from sheer will alone.
She just needed to focus on the next step.
She just had to make sure she made it to the next day.