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He slowly blinked himself awake, the blurry ceiling slowly coming into focus. His senses felt numb, like he was surrounded by a dense fog that made everything seem muddled and colorless. A chill ran down his spine and he shivered, realizing he had lost his blanket at some point during the night. Little goose bumps covered his bare arms and he hugged himself loosely, his sweat soaked sheet sticking to him uncomfortably.
His usually colorful and cheery room felt colder than usual and oddly quiet. Thomas's old toys and trinkets still littered the floor and shelves like they always had but it felt emptier, like he was missing something important.
Pushing himself up on his elbows he groaned as a wave of exhaustion rolled over him, making his head spin like he had taken too many turns on a merry go round. Blindly grabbing his glasses he put them on and blinked a few times to let his eyes adjust. He glanced around the silent room before sitting up, squinting in the dim light. His throat felt unbearably dry and he coughed harshly into his elbow, clumsily grabbing his water bottle off of his nightstand.
Popping the top off, he took a drink and sighed in relief. The water was cool and refreshing, making him feel a bit more awake. A heavy fog still seemed to surround him and dull his senses but it was less noticeable now. Once he was done he set his water bottle back on his nightstand and swung his legs off the bed.
It had only been two weeks since the redux. Two weeks since he had lost control and turned into the very thing he feared most. The others were still upset about the wedding but things were steadily getting better. Roman was finally talking to him again and Logan seemed to be getting back on track, planning different schedules and convincing Thomas to finally clean the living room. Virgil was anxious about what happened and the fact that he hadn't been there to stop it but even he was getting better.
Patton wished he was that lucky. The redux had absolutely broken him. That day he had been so eaten up with emotion and guilt and fear that he had let himself hurt Thomas. He had no idea how it happened or how it was even possible but one second he was himself and the next he was a giant frog monster. The rush of pure fear and confusion coupled with all the feelings he had already been trying so hard to suppress had made it feel like the world was ending and so he lashed out. He let his emotions get the best of him and Thomas was the one to suffer. After all the cameras were shut off and everything was over he had sunk back to his room and cried for hours. In the end, the only reason he stopped was because he was too dehydrated to continue. Even now, he still felt awful.
The others never talked to him about what happened. They never mentioned what he turned into but he knew it was the topic on everyone's mind. No one had ever turned into something like that before, not even Remus. He knew they probably had questions ( especially Logan ) but he was glad they kept them to themselves. Honestly he was almost too tired to get up in the morning much less answer a bunch of questions he wasn't really sure he had the answers to.
Standing up he yawned and rubbed at his eyes, wishing he could just sleep forever or at least until his heart stopped hurting. His bare feet made soft little pit pats against the cold hardwood floor as he walked to the bathroom. The bathroom door opened with a creak and he cringed before stepping inside, closing the door behind him with a click. looking at himself in the mirror he frowned.
He didn't necessarily look bad, just off. His skin was dull and pale and his eyes looked hazy and out of focus, like he was sick or something. Running a hand through his light brown hair he grimaced at the clammy, almost sticky, texture of his skin. His fingers came away covered in sweat and he wiped it on his pajama pants, not sure what he was going to do. He was sad, sweaty, and completely exhausted but he couldn't just stop everything and go back to bed. Thomas needed him and the others would start to worry if he didn't make it down in time for breakfast so with a heavy sigh he snapped himself into clean clothes and ran a comb through his hair, hoping that the others wouldn't notice how greasy it had become.
Once he was mostly happy with how he looked he forced himself to smile and sank out to the kitchen. To his surprise, the kitchen was completely empty. Usually at least one of them was in there getting coffee or eating a bowl of cereal but no one was there. He was just about to pour himself a bowl of cheerios when he heard talking in the living room.
Peering around the wall he looked into the living room. Logan, Roman, and Virgil were all sitting on the couch talking in hushed tones. He really wasn't the type of person to sneak around listening to other people's conversations but noticing the obvious tension in the room he stayed quiet. Virgil looked more anxious than he had been for a while and the others didn't look all too better.
“ He needs more time,” Virgil said, scratching at his wrists hard enough to hurt. “ We can't just force him to listen to us, especially not now.”
“ What other choice do we have?” Roman asked, sounding defensive. “ Nothing is getting better, it's only getting worse! I know it's hard to believe but he lied to us, Virgil. He said he knew what was best for Thomas, what was best for us, but it was all a sham.”
“ Sham is a rather strong word. I don't think Patton meant to cause any harm, he was only trying to do his job.” Logan stated but even he sounded doubtful.
Patton's blood ran cold and it felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. They were talking about him. He leaned onto the wall as a sudden burst of chills ran down his spine. Shivering quietly he bit his tongue and continued listening, his eyes welling with unleashed tears.
“ Is not malicious, Roe. He doesn't really seem to know what he's doing. I just don't want to make things worse.” Virgil said, his voice trailing off at the end. For a second they all just sat there in, the air around them almost suffocating, before Roman sighed, breaking the awkward silence.
“ I know he doesn't mean to hurt us. Hell, I know he didn't mean to hurt me! But it still hurts.” Roman said, crossing his arms. “It still hurts to know that the person I've been putting my faith in all my life has known just as much as we do all along. I don't know how to forgive him for that. I don't know if I can.”
“ Maybe that's the problem,” Logan said, sounding defeated. “ We put too much pressure on him. It was only a matter of time before it all became too much for him to handle.”
“ Are you saying this is somehow our fault?!” Roman asked, balling his hands into fists.
“ I'm saying we had a part to play in all this. Thomas wants to be morally good and on some scale, wants to do that at the expense of himself. We've been letting Patton feed into unhealthy behavior for far too long and justifying it as the ‘greater good’ to protect ourselves from the truth.” Logan stated, calmly clasping his hands in his lap. “ He may have lied to us but in the end we wanted to believe it just as much as he did. We let ourselves believe because it is hard to face the truth.”
“ You sound like deceit.” Virgil said, sounding unsure.
“ Maybe deceit has more value than any of us want to believe.”
Patton couldn't take it anymore. It felt like his heart was breaking all over again. Quickly sinking back to his room he collapsed on the floor in a heap. The room spun around him and he reeled as something in him started to shift. A half-formed scream escaped his lips before his head hit the ceiling and he hissed in pain. No, no, no, no, no! It was happening again!
With shaking hands he looked down at himself and sobbed. His skin was bright green and wet with slime. A deep croak escaped his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. This couldn't be happening. He had tried so hard to be good, to do his job. What has he done wrong?
Suddenly there was shuffling in the hallway and someone knocked on his door.
“ Patton, are you okay? I heard you scream.” Virgil asked, sounding panicked.
Patton nearly choked at the sound of Virgil's voice. No, no no! Hugging himself tight he willed himself to be small. He wanted to be normal, he couldn't let them see him like this! He willed his disgusting, slimy body to go away and disappear. After a second he could feel something change and he opened his eyes. He wasn't back to normal, no that would be too good to be true, instead he had somehow shrunk down to the size of a normal frog, his clothes seemingly evaporating into the air.
“ Pat, I'm coming in.” Virgil said and he hardly had the time to think before the door knob was turning and he came to the awful realization that he had forgotten to lock his door. Darting underneath his bed he hid beneath an old, discarded magazine, his tiny body shaking with fear. The door slowly creaked open and Virgil stepped inside
“ Pat? Pop-star? Are you okay?” Virgil asked, looking around the seemingly empty room. “ I know you're in here.”
After a second Virgil walked towards his bathroom and knocked lightly on the door. He held his breath as Virgil frowned, a look of intense concern crossing his face before he knocked again.
“ Uh, I don't want to be weird but are you okay? I heard you scream and I just wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or something.” Virgil said, sounding increasingly nervous. “Pat?”
Virgil hesitantly opened the bathroom door and looked inside. He froze for a second before he started to panic.
“ Pat?!”
Patton shrunk in on himself, feeling awful for scaring Virgil but he couldn't exactly comfort him. He was a monster. Virgil would be better off thinking he disappeared.
“ Logan, Roman, her in here! He's gone!” Virgil shouted, flapping his hands in distress. In a second Roman and Logan were there, trying to calm him down. Roman put a steadying hand on his shoulder and Logan stood in front of him.
“ Remember your breathing exercises. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.” Logan said, breathing loudly.
“ You all heard him scream too, right? What if he's hurt? What if he thinks we don't care? What if we never see him again?!” Virgil shouted, the circles under his eyes pitch black.
“ Breathe Virge, I'm sure he's okay. Maybe he just decided to take a walk.” Roman reassured, rubbing circles over his back.
“ The possibility that we'll never see him again is highly unlikely. He is an important part of Thomas. Even if something did happen to him, he would likely reform in a few days.” Logan said but it did nothing to calm Virgil's nerves.
“ Reform?! Are you saying he could be dead?! Oh shit, oh shit, what if he never comes back?!” Virgil said, fully panicked by this point.
Patton ribbeted in concern, realizing that Virgil was probably going to give himself an awful panic attack. Suddenly the room went silent and everyone froze.
“ Did you hear that?” Roman asked, looking around in confusion.
“ Pat?” Virgil asked, freeing himself from Roman’s grip.
“ That sounded Remarkably like a-”
“ Frog.” Virgil interrupted, taking a deep breath. “ Do you think he. . . ?”
“ It happened once, it could happen again.” Logan answered, looking around the room.
“ But he was huge, it's not like a giant frog could hide in plain sight.” Roman said but he searched the room anyway. “ Patton-cake, are you in here? You can come out, we won't be mad.”
Patton hid farther underneath the magazine and chirped quietly, trying in vain to comfort himself.
“ I can hear him.” Roman stated, walking around the room. “ Come on out Pat, it's okay if your . . . having problems. We can help.”
“ Yeah, just let us know you're okay.” Virgil chimed in, hugging himself tightly.
Patton couldn't help but chirp again, the sad little noise escaping his throat almost instinctively as he hid from the others. Roman walked up beside the bed, his shoes so close Patton almost worried he would be accidentally stepped on. He squeezed himself further under the bed, shaking as Roman got closer.
“ I heard him over here.” Roman said, urging the others over.
“ Patton, it would be wise to let us check you over. We have no idea how this form could affect you and you could easily injure yourself.” Logan stated, his voice calm but serious.
He chirped in alarm as Virgil kneeled on the floor beside him. Virgil moved slowly and carefully as he peered under the bed, his face coming into view.
“ Pat, is that you?” Virgil asked, gently lifting up the magazine. He curled in on himself and shivered in fear as Virgil looked at him. He felt a sudden rush of shame and ribbeted in despair. “ Hey it's- It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you.”
The others gathered around to look at him and he closed his eyes, wishing he could just disappear.
“ He's so small,” Roman said, his voice soft. “What happened to him?”
“ I think that's something we're going to have to ask him when he's back to normal. For now we need to make sure he isn't injured.” Logan stated, looking at him with a mix of confusion and awe.
Patton ribbeted loudly and lunged farther under the bed. He did NOT want to be examined or touched or looked at; he just wanted them to leave him alone. A pang of hurt momentarily flashed across Logan's face as he scurried farther away but he quickly composed himself. Virgil on the other hand was absolutely heartbroken.
“ No Pat, we're not going to hurt you. We just- we just want to help. Please come out.” Virgil pleaded.
Patton just hid himself behind one of Thomas's old baby teethers and tried not to cry. He wasn't sure If he even could cry when he was a frog but he didn't want to risk it. He was cold and miserable and terrified but he didn't want to come out. He just wanted to wallow in his own suffering until it all went away. Obviously the others strongly disagreed.
“ Pat, I know you're probably overwhelmed and scared but hiding isn't going to fix anything. We won't touch you if you don't want but please come out. We need to make sure you're okay.” Roman said and Patton chirped as a wave of sadness rolled over him.
Roman had been so upset with him after the redux. He had hardly been able to look at him for days and even then, things were never the same. His heart burned with longing to have that back, even just a little. Steeling himself, he slowly crawled out from under the bed. If it meant earning back a little bit of Roman's trust, it was worth it. It took him a minute to coax himself out of hiding but eventually he made his way next to Roman’s knee, keeping his eyes on the floor. He chirped softly and curled into himself, hating the way everyone was staring at him. He felt dirty and gross, like a monster.
“ Padre, can you look at me?” Roman asked.
Patton slowly turned his face up to look at Roman, shaking just a little bit. He felt so fragile and small, like he could be crushed at any second. To his surprise Roman's expression was soft and sympathetic. He chirped again and hoped that Roman knew that he was sorry. He hoped that they all could see it in his eyes because he was sorry. He was so, so sorry for everything.
“ We're going to ask you a few questions. Croak once for yes and twice for no, okay?” Roman said and he nodded.
“ Are you hurt?” Roman asked and he chirped twice. He was definitely hurting but not physically.
“ Do you know why this happened to you?” Roman asked and he paused before chirping once. He did, although he kind of wished he didn't.
“ Did you have a nightmare?” Roman asked and he chirped twice, although this was definitely starting to feel like a nightmare.
“ Pat, has this happened before? Other than the redux.” Virgil asked. He paused again before chirping twice.
“ Is it safe to assume this came on due to some sort of strong emotional distress?” Logan asked and he chirped once, remembering the conversation he had walked in on only a few minutes before.
“ Is there anything we can do to help you feel better?” Virgil asked and he paused. He wasn't sure what could possibly make him feel better, not after everything that had been said. The others all waited for an answer but he stayed quiet.
“ Is there something specific we can do to make you a little more comfortable?” Logan clarified, his voice a bit softer than usual. Patton thought about it for a second and then chirped once.
“ Is it okay if we take you to the common room? It would be much easier to tend to you there.” Logan said and he hesitantly agreed. He didn't really want the help but he also didn't want to cause any more trouble than he already had.
“ Come here Padre, I've got you.” Roman said, laying his hand down flat on the floor.
Patton glanced at the outstretched hand and gulped nervously before climbing on, practically trembling in fear. To his surprise, Roman’s hand was gloriously warm and he curled up on it, shivering at the temperature change. Roman carefully lifted him up and stood, looking down at him with wide eyes.
“ You're so cute,” Roman said, his voice a soft whisper. “ How did you get so tiny? No offense but the last time this happened you weren't exactly this adorable.”
Patton just chirped sadly and soaked up Roman’s warmth, feeling just a teensy bit better now that he wasn't so cold. He felt a little bad not being able to answer Roman’s questions but apparently when he was this small he lost the ability to speak. It didn't really matter though, he wasn't sure what he would say if he could speak. Sorry that he had been eavesdropping in their conversation? Sorry that he had lost control? Sorry that he couldn't be better? He had already apologized so many times since the redux but what else was there to say?
Roman and the others walked into the dining room and sat down, the room awkwardly quiet. Once they were all seated Roman laid his hand down on the table for him to get off but he stayed still, not ready to let go of his newfound heat source. The warmth was comforting and made the awful chills he had been feeling all morning fade just a little bit.
“ What are we supposed to do?” Virgil asked, practically bouncing with anxious energy. “This has never happened before, who knows how this is going to affect Thomas.”
“ Worse things have happened. At least now we know that he is safe and more or less functioning as usual.” Logan stated, standing up to grab a bowl from the kitchen cabinet.
“ He's a freakin Frog, Logan. How is this him functioning as usual?” Virgil asked, wringing his wrists anxiously.
“ This change is only temporary. Once Patton has calmed down enough he should change back to normal.” Logan stated, filling the bowl with room temperature water.
Suddenly Patton realized just how dry he felt and he ribbeted, watching as Logan made his way back to the table. Logan smiled slightly and set the shallow bowl in front of him.
“ For now we should focus on helping him to regulate so that when he's calm we can talk about this and figure out the real root of the problem.” Logan explained, watching with interest as he crept towards the edge of Roman's fingers before leaping into the bowl.
The water felt so good on his skin that he couldn't help but chirp in relief, swimming around in the shallow dish like it was his own personal pool. The others all watched him from above and Virgil took a deep breath, seeming to calm down just a little.
“ He seems happy.” Virgil said, listening to his contented little chirps. “ How did you know he would enjoy this so much?”
“ Frogs are amphibians, it is in their nature to swim around in shallow bodies of water. I assumed that, considering his current state, it could help to distract him from whatever emotional turmoil caused his transformation.” Logan explained, sounding a little proud of himself for being able to help.
After a few minutes Patton got tired of swimming circles around the same colorless bowl and hopped out into the table. He missed Roman's warmth and could feel the cold slowly seeping back into his bones. Roman was wonderfully warm but Virgil had been so worried about him. He had to at least try to provide a little comfort. Virgil watched him warily as he crept closer. Patton chirped at him, hoping that he understood what he was trying to say. Virgil just looked at him with confusion.
“ Uh, Pat, I can't understand you. Do you want something?” Virgil asked, sounding unsure. Patton chirped once and walked to the edge of the table.
“ Be careful, you could fall.” Virgil warned, putting his hands up as if to catch him.
Patton took this as an opportunity to jump onto Virgil's palm, chirping happily as the warmth started to flood back into him. He curled up into a ball and pressed his face against Virgil's thumb, suddenly feeling very sleepy. Virgil paused for a second before smirking and holding his hand closer to his chest.
“ Is this what you wanted?” Virgil asked and he chirped once.
Yes, this is what he had been wanting for a long time. He had needed someone to hold him, to comfort him, since the redux but no one had come. No one had thought to check up on him, to make sure he was okay, and he understood that they just needed some space but it had still hurt. Virgil carefully cupped him in his hand and stood up, carrying him into the living room. The others followed closely behind. Virgil sat down in the middle of the couch and the other two sat on either side. For a moment he felt safe. No one was mad at him or ignoring him and he was finally being comforted. Listening to the even sound of Virgil's heartbeat he fell into a light sleep.
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When he woke up he felt different, still wonderfully warm but somehow more aware. Opening his eyes he realized that at some point during his nap he had turned back into himself. He was back in his soft, light blue pajamas and he was laying across the couch, his head cradled on Virgil's lap. Roman and Logan were gone and he felt a sudden pang of sadness. At least Virgil had stayed with him. He could always count on his strange dark son, even though he wasn't supposed to call him that anymore.
“ Pat, are you awake?” Virgil asked and he hummed, blinking slowly. “ How are you feeling?”
“ Bad,” He admitted, noticing the fluffy red blanket draped over him. He quickly recognized it as one of Roman's favorites. “ How long was I out?”
“ Around two hours but you only turned back a little while ago.” Virgil said, gently running his fingers through his hair. “ You really scared me back there.”
“ I'm sorry.” He said, wishing he could have stayed asleep for just a little bit longer.
“ It's okay Pop-star, you were just as scared as I was.” Virgil said, brushing the hair out of his face. “ Are you at least feeling a little better?”
He hesitated before nodding. In some ways he did feel better, lighter almost, but he was still definitely upset.
“ Do you want to talk about it?” Virgil asked, looking down at him hopefully.
He shook his head but knew that it didn't really matter. He would have to talk about it eventually whether he wanted to or not. Virgil frowned but continued to run his fingers through his hair, scratching softly at his scalp. It felt good to be held, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. He shivered as another chill ran through him, leaving him tired and cold despite the fluffy blanket.
“ How did it feel?” Virgil asked and he blinked in confusion. “ To be a frog I mean.”
“ Scary,” He said, closing his eyes as he thought back to hiding under the bed. He had been terrified. “ it felt nice to be cared for but I felt so out of control, like I had no power at all. At least it wasn't as bad as the first time.”
“ You were so small, you could fit in the palm of my hand.” Virgil said, seeming to get lost in the memory. “ What happened?”
He sighed and rolled over, hiding his face in Virgil’s thigh. He didn't want to admit that he had been listening to their conversation, didn't want to make anyone more mad at him than they already were, so he just stayed quiet. Virgil just continued to play with his hair, the only sound the soft whirr of the refrigerator. The sound of footsteps caught his attention and he shrank in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest.
“ How is he doing?” Roman’s familiar voice asked and he wanted to disappear. All the bad feelings he had been hiding felt too close to the surface and he hid his face in his knees, not ready to face them just yet.
“ He’s awake.” Virgil announced, making him bite his lip hard enough to sting.
“ Hey Pat,” Roman said, his voice turning noticeably softer. “ How are you feeling?”
He didn't respond, just curling up a little tighter and shivering. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he whimpered, hiding his face in his hands. He was so cold.
“ That bad, huh?” Roman asked, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “ You were out for a while, are you hungry?”
He paused before nodding. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't eaten anything all day. No wonder he felt so lightheaded.
“ Logan made some chicken noodle soup for dinner. Does that sound good?”
He nodded again, his mouth watering at the thought. Logan wasn't as good at cooking as he was but he would rather eat Logan's cooking than anyone else's. Virgil either overcooked or undercooked almost everything he made and Roman’s cooking was usually so spicy it almost made him cry. He was already too close to crying as it was. At least Logan always stuck to the recipe, for better or for worse.
“ I'll be right back, Padre.” Roman said, taking his hand off his shoulder. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from crying at the loss of touch. As Roman’s footsteps got farther away he couldn't help the silent tears that rolled down his cheeks.
He hated himself for bothering them with this. Only a week ago Roman would hardly talk to him and now he was being forced to take care of him. He really was a monster. What would they say when he told them the truth? What would happen when they knew that the only reason he was so upset in the first place was because he had been eavesdropping on a private conversation? He didn't want them to stop comforting him, he had been alone in his pain for so long, but what else was he supposed to do? Lying would only make everything worse.
“ What's wrong?” Virgil asked, sounding alarmed.
“ I'm sorry,” He cried, wiping tears and snot on his sleeve. “ I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I-I'm so, so sorry. P- please don't leave me alone!”
“ Roman, Logan, somethings wrong!” Virgil called, sounding worried. “ Come here Pat Its- Its okay. I'm not going anywhere.”
Virgil pulled him up to sit and hugged him tight, letting him bury his face in his chest. He melted into the embrace and held onto Virgil's hoodie like a lifeline. He sobbed as Virgil hesitantly started to rub circles over his back, warmth leaching through his shirt and into his skin like a drug.
“ What happened?” Roman asked, rushing to kneel beside him.
“ I don't know. He just started crying. ” Virgil answered, holding him a little tighter.
“ Patton, is everything okay?” Logan asked, standing in front of them.
He felt trapped, stuck between one awful decision and the next. If they knew what a failure he was, would they even love him anymore? He had always done his best but his best just wasn't good enough. He was letting Thomas down. How was he supposed to face something like that?
“ I'm sorry!” He cried, “ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-”
“ Breathe Pat, breathe.” Virgil whispered, giving him a tight squeeze. “ In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.”
He choked on his breath, struggling to follow Virgil's instructions. Everyone was looking at him, watching him fall apart.
“Breathe with me Pat,” Virgil said, exaggerating his breath. Following Virgil's breath Patton managed to calm himself down, if only a little. “There we go. Everything is going to be okay.”
“ Sorry about that.” He apologized, pulling away slightly to rub the tears out of his eyes.
“ It's okay, popsicle. It happens.” Virgil said with a weak smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
“ Patton, I know you're upset but I think it would be beneficial for us to talk about this. We've already been over why it isn't good for you to bottle up your emotions and this only proves that point.” Logan said, taking a seat on the armchair by the couch. “ We need to find out the root cause of your transformation otherwise it could happen again at a much more . . . inopportune time. This way we'll know what your triggers are so that we can keep an eye out for them in the future.”
“ That . . . makes sense.” Patton admitted, leaning heavily into Virgil's side. “ Can I eat first? I kinda missed breakfast.”
“ Sure Patton-cake, coming right up!” Roman said, pausing to ruffle his hair before retreating back into the kitchen.
The room was silent for a long moment before Patton sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn't want to talk about anything. He just wanted to crawl back into bed and cry until he felt better but it was too late for that. The others knew something was wrong and now he had no choice but to see it through.
A few minutes later Roman was back, holding a steaming hot bowl of soup and a glass of water. He smiled slightly at the blue twisty straw sticking up out of the glass. Roman set the food on the coffee table and handed him the water.
“ I thought you were probably thirsty, given everything that happened.” Roman said, taking a seat on his other side. Patton gave Roman a thankful look before taking a sip.
“ Thanks kiddo.” He said, feeling a little bit better.
“ Anytime Padre.”
Patton ate his soup in silence, the air thick with tension. He felt a little better with something in his stomach and the warmth was comforting, like a warm hug to his taste buds. As he ate he tried to think of a way to divert the attention away from himself and onto anything else but he couldn't think of anything that wouldn't be obvious. By the time that the bowl was empty his hands were shaking as he realized that he had no choice but to tell the truth. Setting the bowl on the coffee table he sighed and hugged himself, bracing himself for the conflict.
“ Patton,” Logan said, starting the conversation. “ Back when you were in your amphibious form, you said that you knew why this happened. I'm assuming that means you know what triggered your transformation?”
“ Yeah,” He admitted, wishing he could disappear into the couch cushions. “ I do.”
“ Are you comfortable telling us what happened?” Logan asked, his voice calm and steady.
“ Sure kiddo,” He said, looking down at his lap in resignation. “ Well, I was in the kitchen getting breakfast when I happened to overhear somewhat of a heated discussion in the living room. I know it was wrong but my curiosity got the better of me and I ended up listening to a good chunk of your conversation. I guess some of the things I heard affected me more than I thought they would and my stupid body responded by turning me into a frog.”
“ You heard that?” Virgil asked, going pale.
“ It's fine Virgil, really. I overreacted.” He reassured, forcing a placating smile onto his face. “ It was my fault for eavesdropping.”
“ You are responsible for your actions, yes, but that doesn't necessarily make all of this your fault.” Logan said, sounding concerned. “ We haven't had good communication since the redux and perhaps even before that. With the tensions so high it has been difficult to discuss what happened. I can see why what you heard might have offended you, especially after such an emotional last few weeks.”
“ But it was wrong,” He stated, feeling confused. “ Everyone was so upset and I just made it worse!”
“ The redux upset all of us. I'll admit, I was angry.” Roman said, waving his hands around for emphasis. “I thought you had all the answers and to find out that you don't. . . it was hard but I obviously wasn't the only one struggling. It's okay to be upset, Pat. As much as all this hurt us, I fear that it has hurt you far more.”
“ But I'm fine!” Patton said, sounding desperate. “ I can still help Thomas, I can still be good!”
“ That's not what we're talking about buddy.” Virgil said, setting a hand on his shoulder.
“ All of this, it's too much for anyone to carry alone. You have held the burden for years, Padre, please just let us help you for once?” Roman asked and he couldn't help the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
“ Okay.” He said, feeling lost and confused. Why weren't that mad at him?
“ It appears that heightened emotional distress causes your body undue stress, resulting in the transformation we saw earlier. It could be a form of self protection.” Logan said, looking him over with sudden curiosity.
“ Then why was he so small? If it was some sort of stress response then shouldn't he have been bigger like last time?” Virgil asked, sounding concerned.
“ I'm not sure, theoretically his change in size could be the result of a different kind of stimulus.” Logan explained, looking thoughtfully at the wall. “At the Redux, he felt the need to defend himself and his choices. This change might have been rooted in more grief than desperation, hence why the change was so different.”
“ So he was small because he felt small?” Roman asked, “ That actually makes sense.”
“ Well, not exactly but that is the basic concept.” Logan said, nodding to himself.
“ Why is this happening to me? I thought I was doing good. Is some sort of punishment?” He asked, feeling mortified.
“ No Pat, you're not being punished. This is just the way things work sometimes.” Virgil reassured, putting an arm around him to give him a gentle squeeze.
“ We are merely mental representations of Thomas's most important traits. Our problems often manifest in ways that do not completely adhere to the rules of reality.” Logan explained, gesturing to the room around them.
“ Like how when Thomas's ego is bruised I literally get bruises or how Logan gets a migraine every time Thomas has a brain freeze.” Roman said, giving him a soft look.
“ But I don't want to hurt anyone.” He said, looking down at his hands.
“ You won't. You're not in this alone Pat, we've all got your back.” Virgil chimed in, giving him a reassuring smile.
“ We're a family, there's nothing we can't do!” Roman announced, confidence practically radiating off of him as he spoke.
Patton smiled tearfully and chuckled, feeling better, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. With his FamILY surrounding him and his fear fading into the background he thought that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't such a monster after all.