Work Text:
He wasn't sure how he was mentally capable of flying them back to the Resistance's main base. In fact, he didn't recall much of the journey. Rey was fairly preoccupied tending to Finn's detrimental wounds. He'd taken one glance at the boy's spine and knew what caused the sleek vertical slash. No, it certainly wasn't the first blow of damage brought on by a particular cross-shaped saber. It didn't take a genius to deduce that it wouldn't be the last. That thought made him squeeze the gears tight enough to mold them to his fingers. He'd get his moment of lashing out, but that wasn't the time. Right now, he had to get them home safe.
At least Han had gotten to see the Falcon one last time. He'd hold to his friend's promise not to let her out of his sight ever again. They'd seen too much in this hunk of bolts and beams, flying countless parsecs and meeting a lifetime of new people. The value was priceless and he willed himself not to cry. Han tried to set a rule years ago that there was no crying on the Falcon, claiming it was man's country and it was impossible for them to be taken seriously if they were sitting around getting crocodile tears in the circuit boards.
Where had the time gone? Why did it feel like only yesterday that a tall, scrappy young pilot named Han Solo ran into the wrongfully enslaved Chewbacca? Han was a boy on the streets with a price over his head while Chewie needed to get high and far from his masters. The only thing the two could afford was a large ship known as "The Falcon", but Han Solo didn't find that suited how long he intended to let that kitty purr.
"Millennium Falcon. For a thousand years of making this empire look like a bunch of asshats." He smiled smugly. It amazed Chewbacca that someone of such youth could carry the confidence of a hundred men. It was to no surprise that people so easily believed him, because no one that young would trot around town with such charming arrogance unless he had a reason to be that way.
Their first flight was messy, given that they actually crashed on a system known as Corellia. It was near impossible to communicate when neither spoke each other's languages. It was physically impossible for Wookies to speak the human tongue, because their vocal tracts didn't allow such movement. However, they were more than capable of understanding. Humans on the other hand, weren't about to start speaking in growls and barks, so the best they could do was interpret what Wookies say. Han wasn't a slow learner, despite having not finished much school. He picked up the language pretty quickly and did his best to teach Chewie likewise of his language.
Once the language barrier was broken, the real fun began. He remembered accomplishing hyperspace for the first time with his young friend. The exhilarating rush couldn't be topped unless they learned to enhance their beautiful ship's great speed. Naturally, they did just that and more. Tie fighters and bounty hunter ships didn't stand a chance against the Millennium Falcon. It wasn't long before the ship became a legend in the same way Chewbacca and Han Solo graced the "Most Wanted" posters. Smuggling was their game and they seemed to be winning.
He never gave much thought into the fact that he and Han promised when they made enough money, one would take the ship and the other would buy a new one and go in their own direction. They helped each other escape, but both were supposed to be loners at heart. At least, Han Solo was. He told Chewie he never knew his birth parents and had no interest in finding out who they were other than for the possibility of kicking dirt at them for leaving him stranded. He was brazen and brash and swore he didn't need anyone in the whole world.
Of course, over time, that changed drastically. Since the day they first met, they never mentioned their initial deal. No doubt they'd made enough money to go their separate ways in five years time, but no one ever said anything. In fact, it was never brought up again. Pretty soon, they were more than just co-pilots and smugglers. They were best friends. And after friendship came brotherhood.
Chewie smiled as he thought about the first time Han Solo met Princess Leia. Sure, a lot had been going on that week, with Luke and Ben Kenobi definitely giving them a run for their money, but he'd never seen his best friend so flustered before. He tried to project a cocky stride of strength and confidence around her, but it fell hilariously flat with each move, leaving the seasoned smooth-talker rather baffled and confused. Typically, girls couldn't resist Han Solo. It wasn't even that he tried to attract them, given his nature to avoid anything serious, but they liked him. He was good looking for a human and had a wave of interest around him.
But no, such laid-back whims of teasing didn't work on the petite ball of energy. She could take Solo down with one sharp quip and he couldn't tell if his friend was more agitated or enthralled by her responses. He clearly irritated her to no end, which could easily be interpreted as avoidance and displacement of feelings. Wookies were a lot better at analysis than anyone ever gave them credit for. Regardless, she'd ignited a fire in the man-child and over a short period of time, he simply morphed into a man. A man who loved a woman.
The magic of love and victory faded as reality set in and he was simply staring at black space. In spite of all their problems, Leia lost the love of her life to the monster their son had become. Chewbacca couldn't even upright swear to kill the young Solo, because he was flesh and blood of his best friend. That didn't mean if he came in contact with him he wouldn't strangle him or rip his face off, but he wasn't sitting here swearing to do so. Leia Organa Skywalker Solo would not have that. The Resistance's goal was not to annihilate but to transform. They wanted to save the galaxy by bringing people to the light. In order to do any of this, they needed to bring Master Luke back immediately.
If anyone could do that, it was Rey.
He placed the ship in autopilot and walked back to the medical table. Finn was connected to breathing mechanisms while Rey silently stared across the room from her seat. A sheet of perspiration layered across her flesh while her own wounds, though minor, laid out on full exposure. Her cheeks were red, as if she'd been crying, because it only made sense that she had. The lightsaber she used to fight Kylo-Ren, the one she'd wounded him with, laid beside her foot.
"I'm so sorry." She croaked and scrubbed her face with her hands. "I really am."
It's okay. Maybe it wasn't, but he didn't need her to beat herself up over the ordeal. He, himself, felt an immense amount of guilt. He and Han never split up in the face of danger. He should have known that was the wrong choice the moment it was ordered to him. No, instead he had to play the loyal sidekick and tread into darkness with no questions asked. Maybe if he'd asked more questions they wouldn't be here right now, feeling empty.
"It's not your fault."
I don't know what to do now.
She seemed to think about that for a moment.
"I can't be him. You know that. I know it. However, Chewbacca, we are both alone right now. I've been alone my entire life and I don't think I want to be anymore."
He sat beside her and took her small hand in his large paw.
This girl amazed him in the way she clearly amazed Han. When Han first heard the way she spoke and quickly learned her way around the Falcon, along with her ability to understand Shyriiwook, he saw himself in her. He'd even offered her a position alongside he and Chewie, perhaps as an apprentice of sorts. Chewbacca saw it too. She was bold, smart, quick, tough, and stubborn. If that didn't scream Han Solo then he wasn't sure what did. However, without dishonoring the death of his best friend in life, she was a better version of him. He didn't mean better to him, but better in the definitive sense of the word. She wasn't brazen or crass and clearly harbored a greater sense of control. There wasn't a weight of selfishness like there was in young Han Solo.
You don't have to be.
Chewie really didn't want to be alone either. Besides, he felt he owed it to Han to stick with the Millennium Falcon until the very end.