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You are Commander Shepard, Rowan told herself as Kaidan pulled up to the seemingly innocuous house, surrounded by acres of orchard trees. You survived eighteen years on the streets. You fought off a pirate assault on Elyisum. You graduated from N7 training. You survived Feros, Noveria, Therum, Virmire and Ilos. You fought at the Battle of the Citadel and survived despite geth and Saren trying to kill you and a chunk of Sovereign falling on you.
She took a bracing breath as the skycar gently landed on the driveway. You died and got brought back. You survived Horizon and made it out of the Collector ship. You survived a damn suicide mission into the Collector base. You escaped the Reaper assault on Earth. You helped repel the Cerberus coup. You made it through Sur’kesh, Rannoch, Thessia. You fucking survived the Catalyst firing and the two days spent trapped in rubble and the months of recovery that followed.
Kaidan glanced over at her after he shut the car off, unable to contain his smile. “We’re here.”
A long weekend with the Alenkos is small change. So suck it up, Shepard.
Rowan eased open the passenger side door, blatantly ignoring the way her hands trembled. She exited the car, leaning over to adjust her prosthetic leg. She heard the faint pop of the trunk opening as Kaidan walked around to grab their bags. As she straightened up, she noticed a curtain moving in one of the windows facing the driveway. Looking over, she caught an older woman staring curiously at her, with eyes the same shade as Kaidan’s.
Mrs. Alenko was aware they had arrived, and there was no going back now.
Shit. Shit shit shit shit-
“Ready?”
Kaidan walked up beside her, placing a kiss to her temple. Their bags were slung over his shoulders.
She wanted to make an affirmative noise. Instead, she let out something akin to the sound of someone being strangled. Fearless savior of the galaxy, my ass.
“It’ll be fine,” Kaidan said, taking her hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “They’re going to love you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know my family, and I know you.”
“But I don’t know what to do with family, Kaidan.” And really, that had been the heart of the problem. Never having known her family, Shepard was at a loss as to how to act, at how families worked. Her crew had been the closest thing she ever had to one, and they were far from normal. “I feel like I’m going to make some huge faux paus and just ruin this whole thing and-”
“Shepard.”
“-I’m afraid of what they already think of me. Everyone has their own conceptions about me and I really don’t want to disappoint-”
Without warning, Kaidan suddenly dropped their bags to the ground and cupped Shepard’s face in his hands. “Ro. Take a breath.”
She wanted to keep going, but he was giving her that ‘I-will-out-stubborn-you-so-help-me’ look, so she did as he asked and inhaled deeply.
“I get why you’re nervous. I would be, too, if our positions were reversed.”
His eyes softened marginally, and Shepard understood why. Their positions never would be reversed. He’d never get to meet her family. She never got to meet her family. It almost wasn’t fair, that she was the only one between them to have to go through this.
He continued, “But they just want to meet you and get to know you, not judge you. Trust me on this, okay?”
Well, when he put it like that…
“Of course I do.” She sighed, bumping her forehead against his. “Always.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. She reciprocated, arms wrapping around his neck when the kiss unexpectedly deepened. Her nerves began to settle as she let herself get lost in the familiar headiness of his lips.
When they broke apart, he smiled, leaning down to pick their bags back up. With a swiftness that surprised even her, Shepard snatched hers quickly up off the ground, not letting him have to carry everything inside. He gave her the stink-eye; she answered it with a smile and very deliberately putting her duffel bag on her shoulder.
“I know your mother raised a gentleman, but I can carry my own bag. You’re not my pack droid.” Before he could argue, she took his hand in hers. “Besides,” she added, “I wouldn’t be able to do this if you had both our bags.”
“Flawless logic as always, Commander.”
She winked at him, trying to hold onto the feeling of flirty playfulness, rather than the nerves that wanted to crawl back to the surface.
They headed up, hand in hand, towards the house. As they walked up the steps to the porch, the front door opened.
And there stood Mrs. Alenko. Her graying dark brown hair was pulled back into a loose bun, revealing a round, oval face with a sharp chin. Her eyes were familiar, and Shepard couldn’t help but feel a little more at ease, even though she didn’t know the woman at all (and had been living in fear of not earning her good opinion for the past few weeks).
But it wasn’t just her eyes that she’d given to Kaidan; it was her smile, too, and Shepard recognized it when a grin burst across her face. “You’re home!” she said in delight as she went up to Kaidan.
“Hey, Mom,” he greeted her warmly, letting go of Shepard’s hand and dropping his bag just as Mrs. Alenko yanked him into a hug. It was almost comical, yet sweet, how he practically enveloped her, being so much taller and bigger than her. Yet Mrs. Alenko hugged him with a ferocity Shepard couldn’t help but admire; her arms wrapped around him as best as they could, pulling him as close to her as was physically possible.
Rowan quietly shifted to the side, hoping not to garner any attention. In fact, as the mother and son pair pulled back and exchanged a few words, she seriously contemplated taking the bags and going someplace else where she wouldn’t be noticed. Maybe she’ll forget I’m here…
“And this must be Shepard?”
…or not.
Rowan did her damnedest not to freeze and look like a pyjak caught in the headlights. With a smile she hoped didn’t look forced (not that she wasn’t happy to meet her, she was just also a tad petrified), she turned to meet Mrs. Alenko.
“Mom,” Kaidan said, unable to contain his smile as he gestured to Rowan. “This is Rowan Shepard. Shepard, this is my mom.”
“It’s, um-” Damn it, use your words! “It’s great to finally meet you, Mrs. Alenko,” she finally managed to blurt out in a rush.
Before she could start to mentally berate herself for sounding like an idiot, Mrs. Alenko took Shepard’s hands in her own, giving them a squeeze. “It’s Maia, please. And the pleasure is all mine. I have to admit, it’s so strange realizing I’m just meeting you now after all this time. Kaidan’s told me so much about you; I feel like we met ages ago.”
“O-Oh?” Shepard cocked an eyebrow at Kaidan.
“Only good things,” he said.
Maia nodded, though a sly smile suddenly tugged at her lips. “Absolutely. A few humorous stories, but most of our conversations about you were him talking about how wonderful he thinks you are.”
“Mom,” Kaidan muttered.
“Not that he usually came out and said it like that,” she added with a far-too-innocent-to-actually-mean-it thoughtfulness. All the while, she pretended to ignore the embarrassed look her son was giving her. “It was in the little things he’d mention, like how hard you working, the way you took care of your crew, how good you were to him-”
“Mom.”
“-and of course, how worried he got about you.” Maia’s smile widened, even as Kaidan’s glower deepened. “Of course, I took it all with a grain of salt. He does like to fuss.”
And Shepard realized in that moment what Maia was trying to do: get her to relax, by way of teasing Kaidan. She suddenly became aware of the way the older woman was rubbing her thumbs over Shepard’s fingers, a soothing gesture that Kaidan had inherited from her. Honestly, it was a bit embarrassing; she normally could hide her emotions better than this. She’d been able to trick and resist an Ardat-Yakshi. She fooled a salarian dalatrass. But Mrs. Alenko read her like an open datapad.
“Good to know it’s not just me who thinks he does,” Shepard said.
“You’ve given me a lot of cause to be concerned,” Kaidan shot back, eyes narrowed playfully.
“Hazards of the job. You know how it is. And you said that’s part of what you love about me.”
Maia chuckled and patted Kaidan’s cheek. “Don’t mind him. Despite what he says, I think he likes to fret.”
“He always been like this?”
“For as long as I can remember.”
Kaidan huffed, though he didn’t look all that put out as he said, “So, this is how it’s gonna be, huh? You two ganging up on me?”
“Until your sister and the kids arrive. Then it’ll be the three of us,” his mother said nonchalantly.
Shepard could have sworn she heard her snicker under her breath as Kaidan sighed in resignation.
“Let’s get you both inside,” Maia said as she turned around and trotted back in. “We’re going to have a crab bake tomorrow. And I’m making Nanaimo bars with the kids tonight.” She paused, casting a pointed look at Shepard. “I’ve been told you’ve never had either?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Maia. And well then. It’s a good thing Kaidan finally brought you here. No one in this family goes without having them.”
Shepard stilled, the implication slamming into her like a krogan fist to the face. She turned to Kaidan, trying to hide her bewilderment as she said, “This family, huh?”
“Mom knows you never had a family,” he admitted. “And I guess I was hoping – we were both hoping – you’d feel like a part of ours once this weekend is over.”
A family. Her crew had been one to her – still was – but it wasn’t quite the same as this. To have a place to go to and have people happy to see you and welcome you home. That’s what family was supposed to be, right?
And now it made sense, why Kaidan had pushed for this visit so much and why he had so firmly believed his family would welcome her with open arms.
“Well, if that’s the case,” she said, hoping the tears threatening to spill over weren’t obvious in her voice, “I’d say you’re off to a good start.”
Suddenly, this weekend didn’t seem so daunting anymore.