Chapter Text
She waited, she really did. But he didn't wake up and Maggie called and said Frannie missed her so she had to go home. She had to. That's what she told herself anyway. And then life happened. Langley called, she was in a ton of meetings. They wanted her back, she didn't know what she felt about it really, but in the end she decided to say yes. Why fight it? Maybe she was meant to be CIA for the rest of her life. But no more foreign offices. Berlin had showed her the good stuff and she liked it. She liked being a mom, picking up from daycare, the routines, it did her good. She could see that now. Frannie was the best thing that had happened in all her life. So a post at Langley it was. Life went on. She was feeling okay about it, Berlin was a previous chapter now.
And then one day, a month or so later, when she was leaving work, he was there, on the other side of the security gates at the entrance, sitting on a bench with a coffee cup and a crutch beside him. The familiarity of it all hit her like a brick. She knew she had been missing something and this was it. How could she have forgotten about him again? The same old guilt washed over her but also a warm feeling in her chest. Quinn, her best friend. He was here again, against all odds. She walked through security and Quinn spotted her. A tiny smile appeared on his face as he grabbed his crutch and with some difficulty stood up. Carrie walked towards him, and fuck, she was nervous.
“Quinn”, she said, still feeling very surprised to see him.
“Hi Carrie!”
Whether it was her body acting on its own or Carrie actually needing to feel him to believe he was real is unclear but when she reached him she gave him a small awkward hug and then stepped back.
“Quinn, what are you doing here? How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t checked in but I had to go back to Frannie and then fucking Langley called and it’s been a whirlwind and… fuck!”
She realized she was rambling. He was just looking at her with that minuscule amused face of his.
“Are you okay??”
“I’m okay”, he said. But there was something wrong with how he said it. She looked puzzled at him, waiting for him to continue.
“Considering”, he shrugged and nodded at his crutch.
“Yeah, shit Quinn”, Carrie shook her head and put her hair behind her ear. She felt bad.
“I’m.. I’m really sorry”, she stuttered. “I shouldn’t have left you, but there was so much shit going on. Why did you leave? We should have gotten you to a hospital. Jonas was right, I should have listened and Astrid…”
“Carrie!” Quinn disrupted her nervous rambling. “It was… my choice. Okay?”
Carrie nodded, looked at him, and felt the familiar wobble of her chin. Shit, not break down now, she thought. She straightened herself and looked at him.
“The video, when I saw it”, she continued, struggling to hold it together. This was getting heavy. “All I could think was it was my fault.”
“No, I fucked up,” he simply stated.
Such a typical thing for Quinn to say.
“Yeah, well, I did too.”
“Not from what I… heard.”
Oh that, Carrie thought. She shrugged. “I was just doing what was right.”
“So was I”, he said and smiled, a real smile and Carrie got lost in it and they just stood there like a couple of morons, smiling at each other, again. But Carrie felt happy, the nervousness faded away. This was good. Quinn was back. Everything was going to be alright.
The atmosphere changed.
“So…” Carrie swayed a little. “Are you here to debrief or..?”
“No, I’m out.”
“Really? Like out, out?”
“Yep.”
“Good for you, or..?”
“Is good”, Quinn nodded. “Ddd.. debrief’s done… already. I was…waiting… for you.”
That’s when Carrie realized, Quinn had trouble talking. She also realized the coffee cup he was holding was slightly shaking. Fuck. He was damaged for life. Fuck fuck fuck!
Quinn didn’t seem to notice Carrie’s frown or he didn’t care, because he continued slowly.
“I wanted to see you. And… take you to dinner.”
Carrie suddenly heard what he was saying.
“What?”
“Dinner. You and me.”
Carrie scoffed. Who the fuck was this guy? Looking at her all charming and wonderful.
“Why?” She asked. Really, it was a good question. Why would he want to take her out to dinner? Shouldn’t he be hating her or something?
Quinn’s face turned serious.
“Okay, forget it”, he said grimly and began turning away towards the exit. Carrie panicked.
“No, wait!” She grabbed hold of his arm. “Of course, I’ll come. You just surprised me, that’s all. Jesus, Quinn”, Carrie waved her arm at him. Can you believe this fucker?
“Great”, he said looking smug all of a sudden. “You drive. I can’t.” Quinn lifted his crutch.
Fair enough, Carrie thought.
“I’m bringing Frannie.” She was on her way to pick her up from daycare. Quinn had to deal with it. This was her life now.
“Sure.”
“Okay then.”
They started walking towards the exit. Carrie had to slow down because Quinn wasn’t walking his normal speed. The pang of guilt hit her again.
“You need any help?” She tried to ask it as politely and neutral as possible.
“No.” Quinn shook his head and distinctly showed his opinion on that topic with a stern look. What did I expect? Carrie thought.
So that’s why Carrie didn’t help him get into the passenger seat. She just waited for him to take his time and he seemed okay with that. They drove out of the CIA parking lot in silence, and Carrie kept thinking, here we are again. But in reality everything had changed.