Chapter Text
The creak of the door always seemed to be at its worst when they were trying to get back into the house this late. They should really try to get Toriel to invest in some door hinge lubricant. On second thought that might raise some suspicion on what they need it for…
She always seemed to expect the worst out of them when they requested things, and it would be a shame if their nightly escapades were interrupted by the overbearing guardian. Perhaps Asgore would have some?
They continued to creep through the kitchen, unsure whether or not Toriel would be waiting in any unseen corner. They had been sent to bed early this evening for something they… probably didn’t do. Not that they can remember, much of anything. Sometimes things grew difficult to remember, it was sort of scary, but they tried not to think too hard about it.
But they needed to clear their head, to get out for at least a bit. Plus the lake was so tranquil during this time of night. Were they in the wrong to deceive her? It was to preserve their mental health… Perhaps it was fine, perhaps they were overreacting yet again.
Careful not to bump into an out-of-place chair, they just happened to take a tertiary glance over at the nearby stovetop as they were exiting the kitchen. Ah! A cooling pie! Perhaps they can enjoy that as a snack later tomorrow? They have nothing planned for the upcoming weekend… a picnic with Toriel might be in order.
It was at that exact moment, as their mind began to wander about the possibilities of a large banquet on the lakeside, that they began feeling a debilitating twinge in their insides.
No. no. no. no.
They stumble over in an attempt not to fall face-first into the tile flooring. They need to get upstairs, now.
This can’t be happening, but as much as they try to convince themselves that they aren’t losing it again, they feel that all too familiar pain in their abdomen and beyond. They needed to steady their breathing. In and out, just like they practiced every day. One foot in front of the other, they’ve done this before. Just get up the… stairs.
The stairway appeared to stretch to infinity from where they were standing. Their very SOUL beat with vigor, they were gonna lose it…
Shaking their head, they figured that the consequences of dealing with Toriel later were better than them losing it down here, and made a beeline up the stairs. Using all four of their appendages to climb up the stairs like a rabid dog. Finally, as they rounded the corner they looked upon their door, not caring in the slightest about the noise they were making with their sloppy movements.
Throwing open the door and shutting it tight with a mighty slam, they face-planted on their orange carpet. They felt like they were going to be sick… But the bathroom was back down the stairs, like hell were they making the trek down there again. Might as well throw themselves down it and break their neck.
That last thought was uncharacteristically dark, yet it wasn’t the only intrusive thing that had been invading their mind for the last minute or two. They needed to get calm, it always helped them… Staying calm and staying positive. Try to block out those thoughts… Their heart was thumping in their ears, they felt as if they could hear blood rushing through their head. Like pins and needles were piercing their very being, and were being pulled taut all around them.
It can’t go like this, not like last time.
They hated it last time.
They thought that… they had been so… good this time.
THEY HAD BEEN SO GOOD. WHY WERE YOU TAKING THIS AWAY FROM ME?
Pushing on their head in an attempt to make the pain stop, they curled up into a sickening little ball of despair and disappointment. They threw their hands on the ground in apparent protest of the ceaseless agony.
*THUMP*
Just as they felt as if their eyes were gonna pop out of the sockets, they heard a subtle knock at the door.
They looked up from their pit of grief, realizing they must have been thrashing around in a vain attempt to keep it together.
Groaning as they rose to their feet, they started to hear a familiar voice seep through from the other side of the door.
“My child, are you alright?” It was Toriel, of course, asking with that same caring motherly tone.
Their mind screamed from the inside, threatening to burst through their skull. Their very thoughts bounded around their head, looking for any crack in their resistance to bellow out a cry to the heavens, to let her know. To let them all know.
They stumbled over once again, trying to stifle another yelp that just barely escaped their lips. Not wanting to worry the poor woman, however, they tried to pull themself together just long enough to form a response to put her at ease.
But as they attempted to let speech flow out their throat, it felt as if two voices in combat were let loose as one.
“I am doing fine, I am sorry for waking you.”
Seemingly having calmed the goat’s nerves, despite the strange tone it was delivered in, she responded, “It’s okay, Kris. You don’t have to apologize.”
The name causes their heart to begin racing once again. The pounding was audible in their brain…
“I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure, with school work and with Asriel being gone to college… For that I am sorry, I have a pie cooling in the kitchen, for tomorrow of course.”
They lifted up the hair that usually covered their crimson eyes, they felt as though manic was coursing through their very blood. They used all of their willpower to try and keep cool. As they looked down at Toriel’s shadow below the door, the shadow seemed to shrink away…
“...”
“You don’t have to answer. I love you, Kris. Goodnight.” For some reason, Toriel's words ran through their head like a sharpened knife.
When Toriel finally slinked off to bed, they started to feel the last of their willpower wither away.
Tears had already begun to form, they could not stop it, it was happening again.
As they attempted to move towards bed, trying to make this as painless as possible, they tripped over themselves once again. Falling like a sack of bricks to the floor, biting their tongue in the process, they finally lost concentration and let go.
The striking metal taste in their mouth was all too familiar to them, they tried to sit up but were unable to stop it from rolling back into their throat. Their limbs were getting numb…
It was getting so cold again. More thoughts began to rush their mind.
“GET OUT OF ME. LEAVE. YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE. I WILL TEAR YOU APART.”
Crying, choking, and attempting to reach towards the ceiling, their hand suddenly changed its trajectory and reached towards their chest. Defining all thought and logic, the hand started to rip through their sweater.
Reaching through bone, muscle, and sinew, it felt as if a creature was gnawing on their insides… The hand suddenly wrapped its fingers around… them.
It was time.
With a mighty rip, they were once again cold and alone, without feeling or purpose.
There stood the perpetrator, with their eyes glowing a striking red. A crooked jagged smile adorned the face. They felt every bit of the excruciating pain as the body started to pull and tear at the red strings that joined them together.
They always ripped through them with unjust cruelty, but no matter how much they struggled, it was out of their hands now.
For what mouth would they use to protest, and what fists would they use to fight back. They were, after all, nothing without them.
Kris…
When they separated the final cord, they were once again reminded of that familiar feeling of isolation.
“This was it,” they thought to nobody, “Alone once more, who knows how long this time.”
The body… Kris staggered over with them clenched tightly in their hand to the corner of the room, they knew what was about to happen.
The cage, the torment, the embarrassment, but most of all, the emptiness.
Slammed against the back of the metal prison, they attempted in vain to resist, do anything, to just try even if they knew it would ultimately be for not.
K-Kris.
Kris moved away from the cage, after closing it tight, and pulled a large, sharp, knife from under their mattress.
They attempted to scream, plead, or yell for help. Knowing they lacked the vocal cords to do so.
Kris stumbled clumsily over to the door, like a weak starving animal slowly tracking its prey. They threw open the door, with little care and looked back at them one more time before disregarding them. As Kris left the room, with a large smirk plastered on the side of their face, they sank to the bottom of the cage.
They wanted to cry.
They wanted to scream.
They wanted so much but could do so little.
K… Kris…
Unconsciousness moved among the darkness, touching the fringes of their mind. They felt woozy…
And as the bitter cold of loneliness set in and sleep fully started to envelop them, they attempted to dream, despite how impossible it was, of a better world for a being such as them.
. . . . . . INTERESTING . . . . . . . VERY INTRIGUING, INDEED . . . . . . . . .