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His hands couldn’t stop shaking.
He couldn’t stop shaking.
Pacing the floor of his apartment, Kaeya squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. His heart was thundering in his throat. I’m okay, I’m okay. Nothing’s wrong. It’s fine. He swallowed, continuing to pace around the room. He rubbed his arm, squeezed his eyes shut for a second.
When his stomach decided to flip, Kaeya hurried to the closest chair. Grabbing the back did nothing to help his pounding heart or rising anxiety. His throat was beginning to tighten. He bit the inside of his cheek, gnawing on his own lip. Sitting on the dining table, innocent and white and open, was a letter. The letter.
It had been another one of the Knights of Favonius. Not even a full Knight, though. Just—one of the recruits. As far as Kaeya knew, the man—Warren—had been determined to become a knight. He’d been hard working, he’d shown up to the training sessions early every single time. When Kaeya had recommended that he get some rest, Warren had asked him to come with him and have some drinks. Of course, Kaeya refused every time—he and Albedo were courting. Sure, Albedo didn’t mind Kaeya doing his investigative work, he didn’t even mind if Kaeya had to flirt with others and their courtship was on the down low. When it came to his free time, though, Kaeya preferred to spend his time with his partner, not with some random recruit.
Warren had managed to corner him after a few weeks of practicing. Despite Kaeya trying to send him away, Warren had started ranting. He’d accused him off…something? He wasn’t even sure. Kaeya had managed to get away by running past him and dropping over a fence, almost twisting his ankle in the process.
And now he was here, and Warren had sent him a letter with only two words beside his name, and Kaeya couldn’t stop shaking.
Looking down at the letter again, Kaeya pulled his face away so he could try to breathe. He couldn’t. His ribs were spasming, heart rate running like a spooked horse. It’s okay, you’re okay, he repeated that like a mantra. It wasn’t working. He couldn’t stop shaking. His breathing had kicked up again, it was scratching at his throat. Doubling over, Kaeya tangled his own fingers in his hair. Come on, Kaeya. Breathe.
Two words shouldn’t make him this panicked, and yet…I know. It was two words. Two simple, easy words that weren’t even written well. Maybe Warren wasn’t even talking about what he was thinking of. Maybe Warren meant Kaeya and Albedo’s relationship, or the fact that he and Diluc were brothers and he hadn’t realized that it was somewhat common knowledge. Maybe Warren just meant—something else. There was no guarantee that he meant something about Khaenri’ah.
But he might. And while Diluc hadn’t ruined Kaeya’s life, and neither had Albedo, Warren had no such qualms about ruining Kaeya’s life. If he told Jean…she might hate him. Lisa might hate him.
He could picture it now. The hate, the anger, the violence. Phantom hands that wrapped around his throat, flew for his face, beating him again and again and again until he was bleeding and bruised and dying on the ground. Gasping, sucking in a deep breath, Kaeya wavered where he stood. The world was dotted with black spots, his face was flushed with heat and that heat ran down his neck, his shoulders, his chest. Something happened, something cracked. A sob left him, wrapping his throat and choking him with thick vines.
At some point, Kaeya ended up on the floor. Maybe he sat down, maybe he crumpled. He was lying on his side, clutching his shirt and digging his fingers into his chest. Under his fingertips, his heart was pounding. His ribs were creaking, a vice tightening around his lungs and heart until they were squeezing. Kicking against the floor, he gasped. Turning his head, he looked around. There was a thump on his doorstep.
Panting, Kaeya reached for his Vision. His fingers only brushed the metal and the glass orb. I’m going to die. They’re going to kill me—he kept gasping. Curled on his side, cheek pressed into the wood planks, he choked out a sob. No, no. Don’t make any sound. Don’t—
Diluc’s face flashed in the forefront of his mind. Flames burned on his skin. Kaeya was dying. He was going to die. Diluc was coming to kill him. He was going to do more than just leave Kaeya to die, leaving him bleeding and burning in the grass. He was—he would—he needed—
Biting his hand, Kaeya curled in on himself more. His blood was roaring in his ears. His stomach flipped again. Every single breath echoed in his ear, ragged and panicked as his fingers twitched against his Vision. A sob escaped his fingers. Letting go of his hand, Kaeya threw his arm over his mouth and bit down. Hard. A low moan left him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he curled in on himself more. His heart squeezed again, lungs seizing.
Diluc was coming to kill him. He was right outside the door, hammering on it. Someone was calling for him. I can’t. Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move, stay quiet—diamond eyes scowled down at him, hope and hatred mixed together—a fist met his face, not Diluc’s, never Crepus’—he couldn’t—he had to—
He needed—
The door opened.
Kaeya sobbed into his own arm, teeth digging into his skin enough to bruise. Without even thinking about it, Kaeya dug his free hand into his ribs, his back, clawing across his own skin. His nails left fire in their wake.
A yellow diamond mark flashed in his vision. Someone was crouching in front of him. A Geo Vision glittered—wait, Geo? Who in Mondstadt had a Geo Vision? This couldn’t be Noelle—
(Albedo crouched in front of him, reaching out with his hands shaking slightly. His eyes wandered over Kaeya’s hands, his face. Then, he laid down on the floor, reached out a hand, and let Kaeya reach out to him instead.)
Kaeya’s eyes rolled back into his head.
The world went dark.
He couldn’t hear his own breathing or heartbeat anymore.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Kaeya came to with his cheek pressed against the floor and his hand clutched in Albedo’s. Lying a foot from him, Albedo had pillowed his head on his own arm and was talking quietly in Khaenri’ahn, singing a quiet lullaby under his breath. Blinking a few times, Kaeya glanced down at his arm.
He'd bruised his own arm. Badly, too. Face flushing, Kaeya reached up and pulled his sleeve down. Albedo gently pulled Kaeya’s hand to his mouth, kissing the back of his knuckles. “Are you back with me?” He asked, voice soft.
“Yeah.” Kaeya murmured, shifting. He was lying on the floor of his apartment still. At some point, Albedo had folded up most of his cloak and gotten it under his head. Apparently, he had never let go of Kaeya’s hand, because he had one sleeve still on and folded around his wrist. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I assume this has to do with the letter on your table?” Albedo prompted softly. Swallowing, Kaeya nodded. “I’ll investigate. I am Chief of Investigation, aren’t I?” He was teasing. It still made Kaeya’s heart thump in his chest. Closing his eyes, he took a slow breath. Albedo kissed his hand again.
“Don’t put yourself out for me,” he started. Gently, he pulled Albedo’s hand to his chest. “Please.”
“I won’t.” Albedo replied. “Do you want to get to bed?”
Kaeya nodded.
The next few minutes passed in a blur. Albedo helped him upright, checked to make sure the door was locked while Kaeya waited for the world to stop spinning while leaning against his couch. Then, Albedo helped him to his bed. They changed, Albedo dragged Kaeya into bed, and then—Albedo was running his fingers through his hair, untangling some of the knots with so much care it didn’t even hurt.
“I love you.” Albedo whispered, softly. Looking at him, Kaeya smiled. Without another word, Albedo opened his arms, pulling his hands back. Kaeya crossed the bed, burying his face in Albedo’s chest and letting him hold him close.
“I love you, too.”