Work Text:
It was Saturday afternoon and Alexander Hamilton felt an impending headache coming on. After failing to sleep for the third consecutive night, he’d spent the day taking a rare break from his work, after much convincing from Eliza. And it had in fact been relaxing, when he could avoid thinking about the amount of work he was falling behind on.
He and Eliza had spent the much of the morning relaxing in bed, engaging in activities they both thoroughly enjoyed, before they took the kids to the park. It was cold and after a few hours, several injuries, and chiding from Eliza (“Alexander I told you you were too old to play on the monkey bars with Philip and Angie!”) they returned home. After they got back, Alexander even had a chance to catch up on some of his neglected personal reading. It had been a good day. That was, until the post arrived.
Alexander had worked hard to become a political analyst. He worked his way out of foster homes and poverty, got a scholarship to a local college, and was absolutely fearless in his academic pursuits. Shortly after he got his undergraduate degree, he moved on to get his doctorate in political science. He’d been relentless in realizing his ambitions, and eventually he earned his title as one of the most respected political analysts, now working for a national nonpartisan political news site. As such, he of course subscribed to every academic political journal worth his time.
Eliza and Alexander lounged around the fire, Alexander reading a worn copy of some Civil War novel and Eliza typing some legal documents for a case she was working on. They sat together in comfortable silence and Eliza silently thanked God that Alexander was finally getting a chance to relax. He worked so hard, and she worried about him. His passionate nature was one of the things she loved about him, but sometimes she feared it would consume him alive.
“Eliza I’m going to check the mail,” Alexander said, apparently unable to remain still for too long.
Eliza paid no mind except to hum an affirmative response and continued typing. Her law firm worked with Child Protective Services and she often worked on cases where kids had been abused. It broke her heart hearing their stories, but she knew she was doing something worthwhile.
A few moments later, Alexander burst through the door, waving his apparently new copy of The American Political Science Review and shouting, “Eliza! Eliza! Look at this! I can’t believe him. Guess what he’s done now. The nerve.”
“What Alexander?” Eliza looked up from her laptop and fixed him an expression the betrayed her belief that she would soon regret asking. She didn’t even have to ask who was responsible for her beloved’s foul mood. It was, of course, one way or another, Aaron Burr’s fault.
Alexander continued unaware. “Listen to this: ‘The Limited Effects of Gerrymandering by Aaron Burr’. This is absolutely unfounded. Who does he think he is? The audacity. He comes into my home-“
“You don’t own the magazine Alexander.“
“-And disrespects me like this! This article is absolute garbage. I should just throw the whole thing away. I mean really, how much is he getting paid to write this. You know what?”
Eliza sighed. “What?”
“I’m going to call the journal and demand they print a retraction. Better yet, I’ll write a refuting article myself. We’ll see what Burr does with that, the scoundrel. C’mon Eliza we have work to do.”
Alexander promptly threw his book to the floor and stomped off to his office, still muttering about Burr under his breath.
“So much for a day off,” Eliza sighed before following him to the office.
~~~
Together, the Hamiltons drafted a response to Burrs incendiary findings. Although Alexander was the political expert, he and Eliza had developed a habit early in their relationship of having the other read through, and in certain cases help write, their work before sending it in anywhere.
So, Eliza found herself in the office she and Alex shared, slipper-covered feet up on spent her desk, making verbal critiques as Alexander drafted “A Response to Claims of the Limited Effects of Gerrymandering”.
“Wait no, Alexander go back to that bit about it increasing campaign costs and expand more on the effects of that in regards to campaign finance. That’s where you’re really going to get Burr.”
“Good, good. What did we decide to do about the part about the international examples?”
“I say we cut it. I mean there’s no use going beyond the paradigms Burr set in his original publication and he stuck to the United States.”
Alexander turned his chair and gave her as quick kiss. “This is why I love you.”
Burr had been Alexander’s friendly nemesis for as long as Eliza could remember. They were always trying to one up each other in every way possible, be it academic or personal (Burr had recently married one Eliza Jumel and Alexander had spent a full hour complaining about how Burr was copying him). As far as academic competition, whenever one caught wind of the other having published anything anywhere, they unfailingly had to respond. They even had a bit of a following in the poli-sci community. Colleagues would tweet about who’d won the latest round of Hamilton v. Burr and Alexander always had a lengthy response prepared if anyone insinuated that Burr had come out on top.
The worst part, Eliza thought, was that Alexander had the exact type of personality that got addicted to reading feedback, and his and Burr’s recent Twitter following had made him all the more susceptible. She’d often wake up in the middle of the night to see Alexander scrolling through various comments on articles he’d gotten published or reports he’d filed. And as much as she was loath to admit it, she too was increasingly prone to defending her husband in the comment section of some irrelevant online forum, not that she would ever tell Alexander that.
“Betsy I think we’ve done it.”
Eliza and Alex read over the document once more, making some small changes here and there. Alexander sent a copy to his boss and the Hamiltons received a response within the hour; his boss loved it and after going through editing, it would be published the next day. Eliza and Alexander high fived before returning to the living room and their day of relaxation, secure in the knowledge they had successfully taken down one Aaron Burr.
~~~
“Eliza! Look what Alexander Hamilton has published now! I can’t believe him.” Aaron Burr sat at his computer, Hamilton’s latest article up in front of him. Of course. Not even 48 hours after his article was published and Alexander (with Eliza’s help no doubt) had crafted a response.
Eliza Burr walked into her husband’s office, sighing as she glanced at the offending publication. “Oh just let him have this one, Aaron. I say it’s time you bury the hatchet. Haven’t you two been fighting long enough?”
“We’re not fighting,” Aaron said stubbornly, already typing a response. “This is what we do. We’re friendly enemies.”
“Whatever,” Eliza said, walking out of the office in favor of tending to one of the children she could hear crying in the other room.
~~~
@JAdams tweeted: @JohnJay @GeorgeWashinton @TJeffs @OfficialJamesMadison @BennieFranks Guys - check out the latest Hamilton/Burr smack down #Bamilton #Ishipit
@TJeffs tweeted: @AdotHam @AyayronBurr FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
@OfficialJamesMadison retweeted: @TJeffs: @AdotHam @AyayronBurr FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
@AdotHam tweeted: @TJeffs You wanna fucking fight me son I’ll fuck you up rn also you @OfficialJamesMadison shut the fuck off
@GeorgeWashington tweeted: @AdotHam Please calm down. Work this out like the grown man I know you keep locked away somewhere beneath your childish attitude.
@ElizabethSchuyler tweeted: When your husband doesn’t know how to let things go #IguessI’llkeephimanyway
@AdotHam tweeted: @ElizabethSchuyler I am shocked and offended at these accusations
@AyayronBurr tweeted: @AdotHam guess there’s only one way to settle this. Write-off. Weehawken. Dawn. Pens drawn.
@AdotHam tweeted: @AyayronBurr You’re on.