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The door to the hotel spa wasn’t locked luckily, when George opened it and slid inside. He felt ice cold, even tho he got the fluffy bath robe from the hotel on.
He was feeling cold and sick ever since he left the track after the disasterous GP at the Albert Park.
Everything had been fine directly afterwards. Even so he panicked for a moment when the car flipped upside down and came to a stand in the middle of the track, all was okay afterwards. He got out a little bit shoken and short of breath, but medical checks were all fine, he did all the media appointments and the interviews, congratulated the boys on the podium and even had a quick chat with the team about how high the damage on the car might be.
He only started to feel a little light headed when he got to Lando to congratulate him on P3. Lando must have had already realised something was wrong there, cause he gave him the typicall worried Lando look when they talked.
George just had ignored the weird feeling, trying to think as less as possible about these moments, upside down, trapped in the car, not seeing what happened behind. The thought of another car hitting him like this in full speed was just unbearable.
He hadn’t been at the team dinner, already feeling kind of sick on the way back to the hotel. He was grateful that his flight was booked for tomorrow not directly after the race.
By the time he was at his hotel room he felt so weirdly weak and shaky, he was sure, he would not have made it to the plane at the airport.
George had tried to just go to sleep, but his head was running wild, everytime he closed his eyes he found himself back in the upside down Mercedes on the race track and his heartrate got higher and higher with every attempt he made to finally relax and sleep.
In the end he had gotten up again and had made his way down to the Spa. He was freezing and shivering and he knew it was the lack of food and drinks after the race, that made him feel so weak physically.
But the mind was worse. He didn’t even know what exactly cought him so off guard. Maybe the fact he had been trapped. Blinded, awaiting an other car to hit him any minute. Knowing if that would happen, it wouldn`t end well.
For a moment he stood in front of the pool area unsure, what to do. Maybe a swim in the cool water would help to put his head together again.
The heating was only on a low level now, at 1am in the morning and the water felt like a literal ice bath.
He could barely make his legs and arm move the way he should, his breathing was uncontrolled and heavy, when he started to swim.
You could not really call it swimming, as he was shaking so much from the cold and physical weakness.
„Grab my hand!“
George felt the water over his head as the voice suddenly brought him back to reality. His arms and legs hurt, his head felt like exploding any minute.
The moment he thought he couldn’t stay over water anymore, two hand grabbed his upper arm and held him up.
George felt so sick he was sure to have to throw up any minute, when the other person grabbed his arms tighter and pulled him out of the could water on the floor next to the pool.
George struggled to breathe as he felt two arms wrapping around him, pulling him close to the warm and dry skin of a chest.
„Lando.“ George mumbled and closed his eyes to try to breathe the sickness away.
„It’s okay. I’m here.“ For a few moments Lando just held George in a hug and let him breathe. In and out. Little flashbacks of social media stuffs comes across his mind. „Your fault“. „Stop moaning.“ And it is true; it was his fault. He had been caught off guard by Fernando suddenly becoming so slow, he had lost the car.
But he also had been stuck in that upside down Mercedes in the middle of the track, with the race still going in full speed. And even so they`s gotten him out quite fast, something about that situation got to him in a away he hadn’t experienced in his racing career so far.
„I’m so freaking cold I can barely breathe.“ George heard himself how pressed and exhausted his voice sounded and for a moment he felt embarrassed that Lando now saw him in such a bad mental condition after an incident that didn’t even hurt him physically in any way.
„I have an idea. Grab my hand, I’m gonna help you up.“ Lando’s voice was so calm and warm, George almost sank on the floor dizzy again, this time more of relief than anxiety.
„Wow, you’re really shaken, aren’t you? Sure your medical check was ok?“. Landos finger touched George’s cheek and softly brushed along his jaw like. The warm touch left a trace on George’s face he could feel deep down in his stomach still.
The sickness eased a bit as Lando grabbed his hand and took him to the other side of the pool area. He pushed a butten on the wall and the hot tube started to bubble.
„You sure that is legal?“ George asked, barely able to speak properly, as cold as he was. Lando slid into the water before him and grinned.
„You see anyone moaning?“ He pulled out a hand and touched George’s back softly.
„Come in you feel like an ice cube I don’t want you to get sick.“
Again this warm trace Lando’s fingers left on his skin that made him shiver even more for a moment.
He didn’t know what he was feeling. He wanted to be near Lando, as close as possible, he wanted Lando to touch him again and never stop, because right now it felt like the only thing that would help him be okay again.
Lando took his hand away as George slid into the water. The sudden heat on his skin made him groan and he closed his eyes for a moment as the temperature difference made his vision dizzy and his head as light as never before.
„I feel like fainting“, he mumbled between two deep breathes, to try and get his vision
to stop being blurry.
„Close your eyes“, Lando demanded with a slight tone of sorrow in his voice and George did as said.
He felt Lando closely next to him again and in the next moment his hand, this time reliefingly cold in the hot water, stroked over his cheeks and forehead.
„What are you doing here? What are we doing here? What if someone will see us like this? See me like this?“ The words came out in a rush and George felt the urge to jump out of the pool and go to his room again, but he couldn’t make himself move.
The water started to feel better, the warmth slowly making its way into his cold body and Lando`s hands on his face, the soft touch, the feeling of him being so close to him was the first thing ever since the accident, that stopped his heart and mind from racing.
Lando laughed silently.
„One word from you and I’ll be gone. I just want to make sure you’re okay and not drowning in the pool or freezing to death.“
George opened his eyes, his vision more clear again now and his eyes met Lando`s.
They kept looking at each other, George’s head weirdly empty after being so chaotic the past few hours and very slowly he felt, like his body began to relax.
He let himself sank deeper in the hot water, still looking at Lando and the sudden pain that came from the stiff neck and back made him groan again. He could feel his heartbeat in his temples from the tension.
„Back pain?“ Lando asked softly and George shrugged. „More „everywhere pain“. The past few hours feel like a horror trip but I only realised when I was alone in my room.“
„I can take you to your room and let you sleep“ Lando offered and George felt like that was probably what he should do, but all he wanted was Lando to stay. To feel his touch again and the warm soothing traces on his body, that came with the touch.
He kept silent though, not knowing how to say what he felt in a right way.
It was Lando again who reached out to George, grabbing him softly at the shoulders and pushed him backwards, so his head came to lay down on Lando`s chest.
„I…“ George wanted to say, his friend didn’t had to do that, that he could just go to his room again and sleep it off, but when Lando’s hands stroke along his neck and shoulder muscles and softly started to massage the hurting parts, all he was able to do was close his eyes, sink deeper against Lando and sight in relief as the pain got better.
„You’re still pale“, Lando said after a while and two of his fingers slid featherly light over George’s face.
„Mh.“ George couldn’t help a soft moan and Lando chuckled almost without a sound but George could feel it from the way Lando’s chest moved up and down.
„Hey, maybe it’s not a good idea to fall asleep in the water. At one point you’ll get cold again.“ Lando softly pushed George who really almost fell asleep, his head resting on Lando’s chest. He hadn’t felt that calm and relaxed for quite a while, but the thought of Lando leaving him in his dark and empty hotel room, made the sickness return so fast, it felt like someone had given him a stomach punch.
He pressed one hand on his belly and lifted himself up to take a deeper breath.
„You okay?“ Lando asked worried behind him and George decided he was just too exhausted and feeling ill, to lie, so he shook his head and then turned around and rested his forehead on Landos shoulder.
„I have no idea what is up with me, but I’ve been feeling as bad as never before after that accident today and the only thing that helped to make me feel at least a little bit better was you being there and I know it sounds stupid and weird and everything, but even the thought of you leaving me alone now is making me feel sick again, I thought I have to throw up here and now.“
He expected Lando to laugh at him, call him stupid or weird or crazy and then leave. Lando actually really stood up and made his way out of the hot tube. Then he held his hand out for George.
„Come on“, he said with a bright smile. George looked at him, irritated and he felt so heavy and tired and ill and hurt all at once, he was sure he would have never made it out of the pool without Lando`s help.
He stumbled on the last step out and Lando grabbed his shoulder to prevent him from falling.
„I really never have you seen that shaken after an accident“, he admitted, one hand still resting on George’s shoulder.
„I know, I’m sorry, I can’t explain either.“
Lando lifted an eyebrow and let go of George. „Well I can“, he then said, suddenly sounding very severe.
„Hm?“ George just wanted to sit or lay down somewhere, his body heavy and warm from the water and Lando’s massage, but Lando stood in front of him, locking his eyes with George’s and then said something that made George’s world standing still and then spinning like a rollercoster within seconds.
„You could have died there. One car hitting you, while you were trapped down there and you would have been as good as dead. You feared for your life in these seconds I could here it in your voice on the radio. That’s why I was even looking for you in the first place. Cause no one just brushes that off and goes to bed afterwards, not even you. That’s why you feel so sick all the time, that’s why every muscle in your body is so tense and you are freezing and your circularity is going crazy. You have a shock and you just refused to listen to your body and tried to carry on as normal, stupidly stubborn as you are.“
George hadn’t even realized that Lando had put him by the hand and led him out of the Spa and back to the hotel rooms. His words rotated and screamed in George’s head like crazy when Lando unlocked a room and took him inside with him.
„You could have died today, you idiot and I am so glad you are physically okay, I can’t even put it into words.“
Lando´s soft spoken last words finally broke the barrier in George’s head between him and the shock he was pushing aside all afternoon.
He started shaking almost uncontrollably and the world around him began to turn.
„I… Lando please“, was all he could say because his legs gave up.
Lando put an arm around his shoulders and helped him sit on the floor. Afterwards he put George in a hug his fingers brushing through his hair, so soft and tender, George couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
He burried his head on Lando’s shoulder his hands grabbing the shirt Lando took over after they entered the room and finally felt the fear, the anxiety and the sickness easing with every tear.
Lando said nothing, just his fingers whiped away a tear from George’s cheek every now and then.
George couldn’t say how long they had been sitting like this, when the tears finally stopped to come. He breathed heavily in and out, his head still burried on Lando’s shoulder.
„Hey“, Lando said softly after a while and put his hands around George’s jaw line to lift up his head „you look terrible“, he said then.
George laughed dryly and coughed. He felt like he hadn’t had any water for days.
Lando got up, searching in one of his bags and threw a boxer shorts towards George. „Get changed, you’re still wearing your wet swimming stuff. You can use the bathroom and do me the favour to lay down afterwards, I don’t want to find you fainted on the floor when I come back. Oh and give me your key card.“
„Huh?“ George felt like his brain was working in slow motion.
„Love, just trust me, okay?“
The way Lando called him „love“ made George’s stomach feel warm and when he handed Lando the key car and the younger one softly stroke over his fingers while grabbing for it made it even warmer.
„Get changed and lay down, I won’t take long, okay?“
Lando smiled and George managed to smile back.
Lando left the hotel room to do whatever he had planned to do and George got up from the floor not only his brain working in slow motion, but also his body. Lando had the same hotel room as he himself but before today he didn’t even know, they were in the same hotel. Lando and him hadn’t spoken much recently, not because something happened, more because they were both busy doing their own stuff over winter break. When they had met in Bahrein again, George had realised how much he missed the boys, Alex, Charles and especially Lando with his puppy like smile and the soft eyes. He never thought about why Lando was so special to him and he didn’t want to think about it now, he just knew that he ignored everyone else reaching out to him after the race and just felt absolutly horrible until Lando showed up and literally pulled him out of the cold water he was drowning in.
He decided to have a quick shower, hoping Lando wouldn’t mind him using his shampoo. He already realised how tense his muscles wereagain, when he brushed his hair after the shower and when he quickly at least halfway blow dried it he could barely lift up his arms. Normally he would have called his physio with muscle pain like this, but it was the middle of the night and George didn’t want to explain what led to his pains. To no one and never.
When he made his way back to the main room, Lando was sitting on the edge of the bed smiling at him and holding two glasses in his hands. Next to the bed on a chair was George`s cellphone, as well as the charger a pair of sweatpants and a fresh shirt.
„Hey, you“, Lando said and reached out to George with one arm, balancing the two glasses in the other.
George took the reached out hand and let himself sank on the bed next to Lando. Their shoulders touched and it was tempting to just rest the head on Lando’shoulder and fall asleep like that immediatly.
„What is this?“ he mumbled looking at the two glasses. Whatever was inside was green and the glass felt warm as he touched one.
Lando grinned. „Something absolutly disgusting but it`s my grandma`s secret treat when you feel sick or ill in any way. Warm Absinth.“
George looked at Lando with a little disbelief. „Absinth? You hate strong alcohols. You don`t even really like wine or beer.“
Lando shrugged. „Special situations require special methods, right? And you can need something strong after all you`ve been through today. How`s your back and neck pain?“
George didn`t even try to act like it was all fine and just groaned. Lando laughed. „Poor kid. Drink this and lay down, I think I can help a little with the pain at least.“
George raised one eyebrow. „Lando, you do not have to do all this. I was absolutly not myself when you found me in the Spa and I would never acted the way I did, when I would have been feeling halfway alright but you really caught me on one of my lowest lows ever and I…“
George stopped, when Lando raised his hand to his face again, following George`s jaw line with his fingertips.
„George, if you feel alright and want to just go over to your room and sleep there, I`m all fine with that. If you wanna stay, I`m all fine with that. I`m fine with pretty much everything, I just want you to feel okay again. Okay?“
The way Lando looked at George made him believe his friend was telling the truth. And he decided to risk it. No matter what would happen afterwards. Maybe they would wake up tomorrow and never talk about that night again. Maybe they would do more nights like this. With less drama and pain, but with the same closeness they had right now. George didn`t know and he didn`t want do know in that every moment either.
„I am feeling okay when you`re here. I was feeling more than okay in the pool with you brushing through my hair and just being there, so close, but I get it, if this was a one time thing.“
Lando smiled and nodded. „Okay. Then drink this now before it gets cold.“
The alcohol made his way through George`s body, leaving a hot burning trace from his mouth to his stomach and he had to cough a few times, to get to breathe again. „Wow, this really is disgusting.“
Lando nodded, pulling his head back and exing the drink all at once with his eyes closed. „It is. I hate it. But it weirdly really helps.“
Lando sat back on the bed, letting himself fall over between the many fluffy cushions. Usually George hated all these big and fluffy cushions on the hotel beds, but when Lando grabbed his hand to pull him down next to him, he didn`t care.
He finally felt warm from the inside again and when Lando softly pushed him, so he turned around and came to lay on his stomach, he was absolutly sure to not want to be anywhere else or with anyone else in the world.
Lando stroke over his tense muscles from the neck down to his chest, finding the right sports to ease the tension a little bit. George layed there, eyes closed, listening to Lando talking about a playstation game he recently played with Max.
After a while, Lando stopped massaging him and layed down next to him so they could look at each other.
George sighed. „I could have died today“, he said silently and it was a weird relief to finally say it out aloud. „Fuck.“
Lando kept softly stroking over George`s back making him relax even a bit more. He felt so deeply tired now, he could barely keep his eyes open. Still he didn’t want to fall asleep already. He lost every sense of time, so it didn`t matter anyways. It would make it easier with the jet lag, if he wouldn`t sleep much tonight and just catch up on sleep on the plane tomorrow morning.
„You are still here. You are alive, you are here with me.“ Lando said and George closed his eyes again as Lando found a tense spot around his spine and carefully put pressure on it, to ease the muscle there.
„You do that better than my physio“, George said after a few moments of just enjoying the pain relief and Lando touching his naked skin.
„Well, if you ever want that again, just ask, no need for a panic attack or a scary accident or anything like this.“ Lando said with a grin on his face.
George looked up and turned half around to properly look at his friend.
„Seriously? Like you do not mind this at all?“
Lando laughed and pressed a hand on Georges back to make him lay down again. „Do you really think I would have done all this, if I would mind it. I could just have called Toto, when I found you or not even look for you in the first place. But I did. And this here, I like doing it. I like having you here, my god of course I like touching you, otherwise I wouldn`t keep doing it. Obviously I don`t like you are feeling so bad.“ He added the last part so hasty, George had to laugh despite his head hurting with every move.
„Then keep doing it, okay? Because I can`t imagine anything better to relax and fall asleep to.“
Lando laughed and followed the muscle lines on George`s back with his fingertips until George got goosebumps all over his body.
But this time he wasn`t feeling cold. He was feeling more relaxed than he had the whole weekend.
„Lando?“
„Hm?“
„When I wake up tomorrow…“
„I´ll be there, you will be fine and we will be.“
George sighed in relief and finally was able to close his eyes without any worries or flashback pictures. He felt Landos fingers stroking over his body until, after a while, his friend put a blanked over him and layed down next to him close enough so George could still feel him being there One hand causally rested on his back making sure to find one of the still most tense spots to ease the pain there a little.
„Thank you“, was the last thing George managed to say until he fell asleep. The very last thing he felt, was Lando wrapping an arm around him, pulling him a little closer and resting his head on the back of George`s neck for sleeping.
He didn`t hear Lando replying.
„Always.“