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slowly getting sober from the taste of your skin

Summary:

Eddie didn’t do this.

He didn’t go to bars and get drunk and spill his heart to the bartender. He didn’t stare at his phone like a loser and swipe through pictures of him and godforsaken crush.

Except tonight, he did.

 

Or, the one where Eddie gets drunk and pines. Includes Maddie & Eddie friendship, lots of miscommunication, and a happy fluffy ending.

Notes:

WEEEE HELLO MY LOVES it's drunk eddie day!! welcome to my 50th 9-1-1 fic! god i'm so excited about this fic i truly hope you all enjoy, i've worked really hard on it

shoutout to the silly guys (gn) you guys cheered me on so much and helped me brainstorm and i just i love you all !! major shoutout to Ro for helping me actually scrap this together into a proper plot and for giving it a read before i posted to make sure it wasn't garbage mwah mwah MWAH !! thank you to all of y'all on tumblr who cheered on the snippets i really hope you guys enjoy!

title is from constellations by jade lemac !

any mistakes you see, no you don't hehe

without further ado, please enjoy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eddie didn’t do this.

He didn’t go to bars and get drunk and spill his heart to the bartender. He didn’t stare at his phone like a loser and swipe through pictures of him and godforsaken crush.

Except tonight, he did.

Getting drunk had not been the plan. He’d really only intended to have a few drinks, maybe watch the game on the big screen while he nursed his broken heart. Okay, broken heart might be a bit of an exaggeration but it was definitely bruised. And as soon as he had had his first beer and finished it within minutes, he knew tonight was going to be A Night. So he got comfortable in his seat at the bar and flagged down the bartender for another.

“Hey, you alright?” The bartender asked, eyeing Eddie curiously.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied, a little confused. He’d only just gotten here, why was the bartender worried about him?

“Sorry, it’s just you have that look about you, like something’s wrong,” The bartender said. “You get to know these things when you see it every night, I guess. I’m Adam. You wanna talk about it?”

“No, uh, I think I’m okay,” Eddie murmured, looking sheepish. “I promise I’m good.”

“Alright,” Adam eyed him, not quite believing him. “Let me know when you want another.” He nodded towards Eddie’s beer.

“Thanks, man,” Eddie said, giving him a small smile.

Adam gave him one last look before he had to leave to attend to another customer.

Eddie sighed. God, even the poor bartender knew he was a mess. Eddie took another gulp of his beer and pulled out his phone. Pulling up a random game that he had downloaded for Christopher, Eddie played while he drank. Mostly, though, he thought. Thought about what Buck might be doing right now— thought about the fact that Buck was the reason he was here, in this bar, drowning his sorrows on a Friday night instead of hanging out with his best friend.

Adam came up and silently replaced his empty beer with a fresh one and Eddie nodded gratefully. Before Adam could leave though, Eddie made what was going to be his worst choice of the evening. “Hey, can I also get a whiskey?”

Three beers and two whiskeys later, Eddie was feeling it. He didn’t drink that much these days, usually only had beer and even that he usually stuck to only a couple, so by the time he downed the last of his second whiskey, he was feeling warm and fluttery.

Adam was in the middle of pouring him another whiskey when Eddie’s phone rang. Eddie picked it up while he nodded his thanks to Adam. “Hello?”

“Hey, Eddie!” Buck’s voice came through and Eddie just wanted to melt. God, he was pathetically in love with his best friend. Even just the sound of his voice was enough to soothe all of Eddie’s aches and pains. “There was a change in plans and Nat actually has a last minute client. Did you still want to grab a few beers?”

Eddie flashed back to earlier that day when they had been leaving the station, how he had asked Buck if he was coming around for their usual Friday night hang and Buck had said no, he was sorry but he had made plans with Natalia. His new girlfriend. Eddie had no right to hate her but oh, did he. She was utterly gorgeous and seemed sweet, so Eddie could see why Buck was interested in her. He’d lost his chance by not coming clean to Buck about his feelings and now here he was, moping because of it.

“Eddie?” Buck prompted when Eddie didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, uh, sorry,” Eddie muttered, shaking himself out of his thoughts. “I’m actually already at a bar.”

“Oh, great! Which one? I’ll come meet you,” Buck said eagerly. Eddie could hear a rustling over the line, like Buck was grabbing his jacket.

“Uh, actually I’d rather be alone.” Eddie blurted out. He flushed pink when Adam looked up a few paces down the bar and raised an eyebrow. Eddie averted his gaze and focused on the phone at his ear and the glass of whiskey in his hand. He didn’t know why he had just said that. Obviously he would rather be with Buck than be alone, but some part of him, deep down, he was still bitter about being blown off for Natalia. They always hung out on Fridays and Eddie hadn’t liked the feeling that sat at the pit of his stomach at being the second choice. He knew it made sense, after all she was his girlfriend, but he fucking hated it. And that hate was what led him to put his foot in his mouth and tell Buck he’d rather be alone.

“Oh, uh, okay,” Buck mumbled, clearly shocked at this turn of events. This wasn’t like them. They never gave up opportunities to spend time with each other so Eddie knew that Buck must have been standing there with his mouth open, wheels turning as he processed this new development. “Did— Did I do something, Eddie? Are we okay?”

“We’re fine, Buck,” Eddie lied, looking miserable as he did so. Not that Buck could see. “I just need some time to myself, I guess.”

“So you’re going to drink alone in a bar?” Buck asked incredulously, because yeah, Eddie alone in a bar didn’t make sense. Eddie didn’t do this, he barely even drank. He hated going to bars unless he was with his friends.

“I just need some space, okay? Is that allowed?” Eddie huffed out, regretting it immediately when the line went silent. He was being a jackass he knew that it’s just, his heart was aching and it was making him lash out. Jealousy and pettiness swirling in his stomach and burning him like acid. “I’m sorry, Buck, that was out of line,” Eddie said softly, scrubbing his hand over his jaw. “I just— I’m going through something and I just need a little time to myself.”

“But we promised that we wouldn’t go through things alone anymore,” Buck protested. “You’re supposed to come to me when you’re going through something. Please, Eddie. I’ll fix it, whatever it is,” He begged. “Whatever I did to piss you off, just talk to me, let me fix it.”

“It’s not something you can fix,” Eddie murmured, knocking back the rest of his beer and gesturing for another from Adam. “This is something I have to figure out myself, okay?”

“No! Not okay! You’re my best friend, Eddie. I want to help you. We’re a team, we’re supposed to fight these things together.” Buck’s voice raised a little bit as he got more heated. “I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, Buck. I just need some time alone, I’ll talk to you later.” Eddie didn’t wait for a response before he hung up the phone. His phone clattered to the bar top and Eddie buried his face in his hands.

Fuck.

Had he really just done that? Gone off on Buck because he was fucking jealous? Regret weighed heavy in his chest and Eddie let out a sigh.

He looked up as Adam placed a fresh beer in front of him. “Thanks,” He mumbled, already taking a hearty gulp. Anything to wash away the conversation he had just had with Buck.

“Girl problems?” Adam asked, leaning against the counter.

Eddie looked around and noticed that the bar was pretty empty now, so he guessed that’s why Adam was standing here trying to talk to him.

“Uh, no.” Eddie replied, his cheeks flushing a light pink.

“Boy problems?” Adam asked again, this time with a knowing glint in his eyes.

Eddie flushed even more. The alcohol had loosened his tongue enough that he replied, “How’d you know?”

“Like I said before, you get to know these things as a bartender and you, my friend, have the look of someone pining.”

Eddie sighed. “Yeah, well, it’s not like it matters. I probably just fucked up my friendship with him and there’s no way he’d want a relationship with me, so I’m kind of fucked.”

“Why do you think he wouldn’t want a relationship?” Adam asked curiously. He grabbed a rag and started wiping down the counter, hoping that if his attention wasn’t directly on Eddie that he would open up.

“He’s dating someone,” Eddie gritted out, jealousy like a vice around his neck.

“Okay, and?” Adam pressed. “Have they been dating long? Is he aware that you’re an option?”

“They haven’t but I’m not about to get in the middle of that,” Eddie replied, playing with the label of his beer bottle. Everything was starting to feel a little hazy and he leaned into the feeling blissfully. Anything not to feel the full weight of his feelings. “He doesn’t know that I have feelings for him. At least, I don’t think he does. I’ve never said anything.”

“Well, maybe if he knew that you were an option, he’d be with you instead of the person he’s with,” Adam suggested.

“I wish.” Eddie sighed again. He seemed to be doing that a lot tonight. “He met this girl and she’s lovely, really she is, but fuck, I wish they hadn’t met.”

Adam hummed. “Yeah, I get that.” He looked at Eddie for a moment before speaking again. “I think you should talk to him. Or someone. Keeping it to yourself isn’t going to do you any good.”

“I know,” Eddie mumbled, tearing at the beer label again. “Ugh, you’re right. I’m not going to call him but I’ll call a friend. Thanks, man.”

“Anytime,” Adam replied warmly, before he went off to see to the other patrons.

Through blurry eyes Eddie pulled out his phone. As he stared at his favourites list he contemplated who it was going to be. Who was he going to whine about Buck to? Could he even whine about Buck? He felt drunk enough that he would. He always tried to keep his feelings under wraps but right now he was feeling antsy to talk to someone— something that almost never happened. Eddie just didn’t know who to talk to. He was pretty sure that the rest of the team knew about his feelings, try as he might he wasn’t exactly subtle. Well, he was subtle enough that Buck didn’t pick up on it but that really didn’t mean much. For such a smart person Buck really could be oblivious.

Finally Eddie clicked on Chimney’s contact and put the phone up to his ear as it rang.

“Hello?”

Eddie was of course expecting to hear Chimney’s voice so he was surprised when instead he heard Maddie’s.

“Oh, hey Maddie, it’s Eddie,” He stumbled, not quite slurring his words but it was clear he wasn’t exactly sober. “Sorry, I was just calling to talk to Chim about something.”

“Sorry he passed out when he got home. He was in the middle of playing tea party with Jee too so he’s currently wearing a tiara and Jee-Yun is doing his makeup. It’s adorable.” Maddie laughed, warmth and love for her family clear in her voice.

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, we had a long shift today so I’m not surprised.”

“So what’s up? Anything I can help with?” Maddie asked curiously.

“I—” Eddie wasn’t really sure what to say. He couldn’t exactly go into the specifics about his crush to Buck’s sister, could he? If you had asked him while he was sober he would have said absolutely not, but drunk as he was, Eddie began to speak. “It’s Buck.”

“Buck?” Maddie’s voice grew concerned. “Is everything okay? What happened?”

“Nothing happened— at least— I don’t know. I think I’m in love with him,” Eddie blurted out, shocked at himself for doing so. He stared at his beer accusingly. Goddamn it, apparently drunk Eddie was a talker and an honest one at that.

“Well, that’s obvious,” Maddie said, blunt but gentle. “Are you just discovering this?”

“No,” Eddie muttered, pouting. “I just didn’t realize it was quite so obvious.”

“Eddie, you only have to look at you two together and it’s clear,” Maddie said softly. “He loves you too, you know?”

“I know he loves me, we’re best friends.”

“No, he loves you,” Maddie clarified. “I shouldn’t be telling you, this is for him to tell you, but you guys need a push and I might as well be the one to do it.”

“Don’t you think that if that were true he wouldn’t be dating someone else right now?” Eddie countered. Adam poured him another whiskey and Eddie took a sip. Okay, this was his last one. After this he was going to call someone and go home. “He’s with her, Maddie. He’s got a girlfriend.”

“They aren’t serious, Eddie,” Maddie pointed out. “Maybe he thinks that he can’t have you and is trying to move on.”

“Yeah, that’s what Adam said,” Eddie replied, a slight slurring to his words. The world was starting to get a little blurry and his body felt warm, his limbs loose and heavy.

“Who’s Adam?”

“Bartender,” Eddie said, gulping the rest of his drink and putting his empty beer bottle and whiskey glass next to each other. “I think I’ve had enough now.”

“Good call,” Maddie said, her voice still so soft and soothing. He could see why she was an excellent dispatcher, she could make people feel calm with just her voice. “Do you have a ride?”

“I’ll call an Uber or something, don’t worry,” Eddie assured her.

“Don’t need an Uber, I’ll take you home.”

Eddie’s head shot up— he groaned, the world spinning harder— and there was Buck. Stormy blue eyes stared him down, an eyebrow raised, as Buck dared Eddie to challenge him.

“Eddie, are you still there? What’s happening?”

“I have to go, Maddie. Uh, Buck’s here,” Eddie mumbled, still staring at Buck in shock.

“You better call me tomorrow with the details, Diaz!” Maddie’s tinny voice came through the phone as Eddie pulled it away from his ear. He hung up without replying but made a mental note to call her in the morning. The chances of him remembering that mental note were slim but there was still a chance.

“Was that my sister?” Buck asked.

“Do you know another Maddie?” Eddie sassed, getting Adam’s attention with a slight wave of his hand so he could get his bill.

Buck sighed heavily and Eddie felt bad. He shouldn’t be taking this out on Buck, it really wasn’t his fault that Eddie was hopelessly in love with him. Eddie just couldn’t seem to stop fucking things up.

“How’d you find me?” Eddie asked, staring at his hands instead of looking at Buck.

“This is the fifth place I’ve checked,” Buck huffed. “I’ve just been going to all our usual places.”

Eddie opened his mouth to reply when Adam interrupted. “Here you are,” He said, handing Eddie both the bill and the machine for him to swipe his card. Adam looked at Buck curiously before looking back at Eddie. “This one of your friends?”

“I’m his best friend,” Buck cut in before Eddie could say anything.

Eddie was too busy trying to pay his bill through hazy eyes to clock the growing tension between Adam and Buck.

“Here,” Buck said after a minute of watching Eddie struggle. He grabbed the machine out of his hands and got out his own card, swiping it and making sure it went through. Then he handed it back to Adam. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Adam said, before turning his attention to Eddie. “See you around,” He added, giving him a wink before sauntering off to help other customers.

“What was that?” Buck asked, an unreadable expression on his face as he looked at Eddie.

“What was what, Buck?” Eddie asked tiredly, standing up off his barstool and stumbling slightly.

Buck reached out to steady him. “The bartender. He was flirting with you.”

“No he wasn’t,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “And even if he was, what does it matter?”

“I just didn’t know you were into guys, that’s all,” Buck mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Eddie shrugged. “I’m into who I’m into. I see no reason to label myself.”

“Makes sense.” Buck said, still with that unreadable look on his face. Seriously, what was Buck’s problem? Why was he being weird about this? Eddie was too drunk for this, he didn’t want to get into anything.

He put his jacket on and then they were walking out of the bar, strained silence between them. Eddie was extremely aware of the fact that Buck stayed apart just enough that their shoulders didn’t knock together like they always did when they walked together. Eddie felt like there was a rock in his stomach. Dammit. This is not how he had wanted his night to go. He stumbled again as they approached Buck’s Jeep and Buck caught his arm, steadying him for the second time that night.

“Careful,” Buck said softly.

“Thanks,” Eddie mumbled, blushing. He looked up at Buck and bit his lip. He wanted to say something. He wanted to clear the air and have things go back to normal. He felt completely off kilter and he fucking hated it. “Hey, I—”

“Why don’t we talk when we get home?” Buck offered, opening the door to his Jeep.

Eddie sighed but listened, getting into the vehicle and fumbling with his seatbelt. He made a sound of frustration when the seatbelt got stuck and Buck chuckled, helping him out. Eddie held his breath, having Buck so close to him had his heart beating out of control.

“There,” Buck whispered after he clicked the seatbelt in.

“Thanks,” Eddie whispered back, his voice hoarse.

Buck gave him a weak smile and then he was pulling away out of Eddie’s space and closing the door. Eddie let out the breath he was holding and tried to get his heart until control.

Buck circled the Jeep and climbed into the drivers seat. With a small sigh, Eddie closed his eyes and laid his head against the window as they peeled out from beside the bar.

The drive was silent and part of Eddie was grateful for that. He wasn’t sure if he could keep up with chitchat right now, not with the tension between them and he definitely couldn’t handle the conversation he knows they need to have right now, not while the world was still fuzzy and his tongue was still loose.

Eddie wasn’t sure how much time passed but suddenly they were pulling to a stop. Eddie opened his eyes and yawned. He undid his seatbelt, his desire for his bed strong. Buck came around and helped him out of the Jeep when it became clear that the drive had done nothing to decrease how drunk he was.

“Damn, I really can’t handle my liquor,” Eddie muttered, leaning on Buck whose arm had gone around his waist as they walked, taking most of his weight.

“How much did you drink?” Buck asked.

Eddie’s nose scrunched as he tried to remember. “I don’t know, four or five beers. A few whiskeys.”

“Whiskey? Since when do you drink whiskey?”

Eddie shrugged. “Dunno. Just felt like it and it wasn’t like Adam was going to tell me no.”

“Right, Adam.” Buck scowled, unlocking the Diaz house door with a little more force than necessary. “Your new friend.”

Eddie stood up straight, pulling away from Buck so he could look at him. “What’s your problem, man?”

“Nothing, nothing is my problem,” Buck muttered, shaking his head. He helped Eddie out of his jacket and then nudged him towards the bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you to bed before you crash. Drinking always makes you tired.”

Eddie yawned in agreement. He let Buck lead him to his room even though questions were swirling in his head. Questions like, what’s your problem with Adam? Why did you show up tonight? Do you maybe want to be together and get married? Eddie laughed out loud at the last one, because even though that’s all he wanted in the world it would be quite the way to start a relationship, with a marriage proposal.

“What’s so funny?” Buck asked, looking at him with amusement as he opened Eddie’s drawers to grab him something to wear to bed.

“S’nothing,” Eddie slurred, flopping on his bed. “Just gonna go to sleep.”

“No, you’re going to get up and get into something to sleep in, then you’re going to brush your teeth. Then you can go to sleep,” Buck said in a no nonsense voice that Eddie recognized from when Christopher wouldn’t listen to either of them.

“You’re so bossy,” Eddie groaned, though he sat up and grabbed the clothes that Buck handed to him. Despite his protests Eddie followed Buck’s instructions and went to get changed and brush his teeth.

By the time he got back to his room, Buck was putting a glass of water on the nightstand next to a bottle of painkillers. “For the morning,” He said when he noticed Eddie looking.

“I doubt it’ll be that bad,” Eddie said, walking towards the bed and only stumbling a little. “A headache maybe.”

“Yeah, yeah, you and your magical abilities to not get bad hangovers,” Buck chuckled, throwing back the covers so Eddie could slid in.

“You’re just jealous,” Eddie joked, feeling lighter than he had all night at the familiar banter between them. This was normal. They could go back to normal and forget this night ever happened. Maybe Eddie could pretend he didn’t remember anything in the morning and that would be that.

“You have no idea,” Buck mumbled under his breath. He gave Eddie an innocent look when he made a questioning sound, not having heard what Buck said. “Try to get some sleep, yeah? We can talk in the morning.”

“You gonna be here in the morning or are you gonna go out with Natalia?” Eddie muttered, his eyes already closing as he laid down against his pillow. He didn’t see the expressions that danced across Buck’s face, the shock or the confusion.

“What does Natalia have to do with anything?” Buck asked, his heart racing. Was Eddie jealous?

Eddie looked at him through sleepy eyes. “You’d rather hang out with her than me,” He said, his voice soft and raw. “You only wanted to hang out tonight cause she was busy. I guess I shouldn’t be upset about that, it’s not like that’s going to change. She’s your priority now, I get it.”

“That’s not true—” Buck started but stopped. “Eddie—”

But Eddie had already fallen asleep, the beer and whiskey catching up to him and making him pass right out the second he was comfortable in bed.

Buck sighed, his heart beating heavy in his chest as he watched Eddie sleep for a few moments. Fuck, he had really gone and made a mess of things, hadn’t he? He hadn’t intended to make Eddie upset— looking back on it he really shouldn’t have broken his and Eddie’s plans to go out with Natalia. Especially when being with Eddie was really what Buck wanted to be doing anyway.

He was trying with Natalia, really he was. And he liked her. She was cool, funny, beautiful. But…she wasn’t Eddie. He and Eddie just fit together. Like they had been made specifically for each other and no other person could fit them properly. It was a thought that kept Buck up at night, his heart aching because he thought he would never get the chance to love Eddie the way he wanted to. The way he needed to.

But maybe…maybe he actually had a chance?

Up until tonight Buck had been sure that Eddie wasn’t interested in men. It was one of the reasons he never tried to make a move. That and he couldn’t stand the possibility of ruining the best relationship he had ever had by trying to make it a Relationship.

But tonight Eddie had admitted that he wasn’t straight, so Buck did have a chance. At least in that regard.

Buck brushed a knuckle down Eddie’s cheek, the gesture full of love, care, and longing. Eddie made a soft sound and pressed into his touch. Buck had to force himself to back away and slip out of the room, heading towards the couch.

He was exhausted but at the same time he felt like his body was alive. He actually had a chance with Eddie. All he had to do was breakup with Natalia— which, he didn’t think she’d mind. They had fun and he honestly wouldn’t mind being friends, but they both knew that it wasn’t going to go anywhere serious. They weren’t soulmates. Buck already had one of those.

With his new plan in mind, Buck fell asleep with a smile on his face.

oOoOoOo

When Eddie woke up the next day it was to a minor headache and a whole lot of embarrassment over just how much he had shared with multiple people last night. He’d actually talked about his situation with a stranger. A stranger. Eddie didn’t do that. He barely told his friends and family things. Sure, he was working on it and had improved significantly but he hadn’t realized he was at the point of sharing his hopeless infatuation with Buck with a stranger.

Talking to Maddie had been nice. She had a calm way of looking at things that put him at ease and if he was being honest he wouldn’t mind getting to talk to her again. If anyone could help him figure out if he had a chance with Buck, it was Maddie. She hadn’t freaked out when he’d told her that he was in love with Buck. She didn’t say that he had no chance— just the opposite. In fact she had said that Buck loved him back. Could that be true? Maddie knew Buck better than anyone and while Eddie wanted so desperately to trust that she knew what Buck felt— what if she was wrong? What if Buck didn’t love him back the way that Eddie wanted him to? Despite Maddie saying they weren’t serious there was still the very big obstacle of the fact that Buck had a girlfriend right now. No matter how many assurances Maddie gave him that Buck had feelings for him, Eddie wouldn’t— couldn’t— believe it until Buck was single and telling him himself.

When he remembered how much he had spilled to Buck, he cringed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Maybe he could play off his jealousy of Natalia as just a best friend annoyed they had been blown off? It wasn’t technically a lie but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Would Buck know that? Would he be able to see that Eddie wasn’t being entirely truthful? Deep down Eddie wanted to say yes, because Buck was the person who knew him best in the world, but the two of them weren’t exactly being honest with each other at the moment so maybe he wouldn’t.

Eddie sighed. Fuck, his heart hurt. Oh well, he still had to get on with the day.

Hauling himself out of bed, Eddie made his way to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and splashed cold water on his face, hoping that that would wake him up fully. The dull ache in his head was already starting to go away and he figured that breakfast and coffee would take care of the rest, so no need for painkillers.

Padding into the living room Eddie took in Buck’s sleeping form on the couch. He took in the way that his face was practically smushed into the pillow yet it did nothing to muffle the gentle snores leaving his lips. Eddie felt his heart ache even harder at the sight and he forced himself to move into the kitchen. Every time he saw Buck make himself at home or fall asleep at his house he wanted to beg him never to leave. He wanted to tell him that this house was his home too and that Eddie wished he could exist with Buck in their home, everyday.

Eddie put on a pot of coffee and grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard. Opening the fridge he grabbed the eggs and some fruit he had cut up yesterday morning for Christopher.

“Hey,” Buck’s voice startled him, making him jump slightly. Eddie turned to Buck and felt his heart skip a beat at how adorable he looked all sleep rumbled.

“Hey,” Eddie said back, lacking a better response. Putting the stuff from the fridge onto the counter he grabbed the now ready coffee and poured two cups. “Coffee’s ready.” Eddie mumbled, passing Buck his mug.

“Thanks,” Buck said gratefully, grabbing his mug and opening the fridge to grab the cream.

Eddie fucking loved how easily Buck moved around his kitchen. Like he belonged there. ‘Cause he did. He really did.

Buck saw the eggs and fruit on the counter. “Oh, I was going to make you breakfast before I left. You want eggs?”

“You’re leaving?” Eddie asked, disappointment clear even though he tried to hide it.

“Yeah, I have to talk to Natalia,” Buck said meaningfully, staring at Eddie.

But Eddie didn’t notice, too busy fighting the jealousy that immediately rose up at her name. “Oh, I see,” He mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee to distract him. It was still too hot and it burned his mouth, making him hiss.

Buck cleared his throat. “So, yeah, I’ll be back in a few hours though, I don’t think it’ll take me long.”

Eddie wasn’t listening. All he could focus on was that Buck was going to her. He was leaving Eddie to go to her. He knew that he wasn’t being fair but he couldn’t help it.

“Right, okay,” Eddie muttered. Then, louder, “You don’t have to make breakfast, I’m good with coffee. You can go.”

Buck looked startled. “You never just have coffee.”

“I’m a little nauseous,” Eddie said, hoping that Buck would think it was a hangover instead of the heartsickness Eddie was developing.

“You never get nauseous after drinking,” Buck said, squinting at Eddie. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck.” Eddie sighed, staring into his cup of coffee. “Don’t worry about me.”

Buck snorted. “Yeah, right. You’re my best friend, Eddie, I’m always going to worry about you.”

Best friend, best friend, Eddie chanted in his head. C’mon, Diaz. Get it together.

“Thanks, Buck, but you don’t have to, okay? I think it’s better if you just go, I think I’m going to go back to bed,” Eddie said, knocking back the rest of his coffee, cringing at the bitter taste. It sat heavy in his stomach and fuck, Eddie really did just want to go back to bed and forget this morning had ever happened. How was this worse than last night? Maybe it was that Buck was leaving him to go to Natalia. Maybe it was that after the hope last night had given him, with Buck being jealous of Adam and Maddie’s words filling his head, that having Buck now leave to go to her hurt so much more.

“Okay,” Buck drew out the word, looking at Eddie like he was a puzzle he desperately wanted to figure out. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

“Yup!” Eddie said, giving Buck a smile. He wondered if it looked as fake as it felt. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

Buck could only nod and Eddie clapped his shoulder as he walked past him. Eddie made his way back to his bedroom, closed the door, and collapsed on the bed face first with a groan.

“Fuck,” He mumbled into the pillow.

He stayed like that as he listened to Buck move around the house, clearly getting ready to leave. Everything in Eddie screamed at him to get back up and go to Buck, to beg him not to leave. To tell him that Eddie loved him and that he could make Buck happier than Natalia could. Eddie would never actually say that but sometimes he wished to god that he could.

Hearing the front door open and close, Eddie let out a groan before turning onto his back. Buck was gone and now he was alone with his thoughts. He gave himself a few more minutes to feel miserable before Eddie forced himself out of bed and grabbed some clothes, heading to the shower.

He showered mechanically, rehashing last night and this morning as he did so.

Was this going to be how it was from now on? With Buck staying over but rushing out in the mornings to see his girlfriend? Eddie hated that. He hated that he got crumbs while Natalia got the real thing. Again, he had to remind himself that it wasn’t her fault. That she had done nothing wrong. All she had done was find someone she liked and started dating them. It wasn’t her fault that Eddie happened to be in love with the person she started to date and had dragged his feet in telling Buck.

“Get it together,” He repeated to himself as he stepped out of the shower. He felt a little better now that he had washed the previous night of him. He got changed and ready for the day before going back to the kitchen because despite what he had said before, coffee was not enough for breakfast. He needed some real food.

While he cooked up some eggs, Eddie called Christopher.

“Hi, dad!” Chris said when he picked up the phone.

“Morning, mijo,” Eddie replied, already feeling better at hearing his son’s voice. “I was just calling to see what time you want me to pick you up today?”

“About that, am I able to stay another night? Justin’s dad said they’re going to have homemade pizza tonight and I’m welcome to join!” You could practically hear the excitement through the line in Chris’ voice.

“You have all your homework for the weekend done?”

“Yup!” Christopher replied cheerfully.

“Then I don’t see why not,” Eddie grinned, his heart swelling at the happiness he could feel from Chris.

“Yay! Thanks, dad! Have a good day, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Christopher rushed, and Eddie barely got his own goodbye before Chris hung up.

Eddie chuckled, putting his phone down. He was happy that Chris was happy, spending time with friends was important and Eddie was so happy that his son had made good, solid friends.

He was in the middle of cleaning up the dishes after he ate when his phone rang. Eddie picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Eddie!” Maddie said cheerfully.

“Hi, Maddie,” Eddie replied. Suddenly he remembered that Maddie had asked him to call her with details the next day.

“I was just calling to see if you wanted to have a wine night? After last night I was thinking that maybe you would want someone to talk to?” Maddie asked, her voice a bit shy. “You can say no!”

“No— that sounds great, actually. I would love that,” Eddie said quickly, recovering from his surprise. “When works for you?”

“I know it’s short notice but Jee and Chim are having a daddy-daughter day today, so I was thinking this afternoon?”

“That works,” Eddie said, grateful that he wouldn’t be alone today. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Perfect! I’ll be over around two? Is that okay?” Maddie asked.

“That’s great,” Eddie said. That would give him time to clean up and go grab some wine. “What kind of wine do you like? I have to grab some groceries for the week so I can pick it up.”

“Oh, I’m not picky when it comes to wine, whatever you like will be fine,” Maddie laughed. “Well, great, I’ll see you later, Eddie!”

“See you,” Eddie said, hanging up the phone feeling better than he had before the phone call. He liked Maddie and she was right when she said he could use someone to talk to. He figured talking to her would be easier than bringing it up to Frank anyway.

Eddie went about tidying up the house even though there wasn’t much to tidy up. He had a few hours to kill before Maddie got here and going to the grocery store and liquor store wasn’t going to take very long, so he busied himself with making sure everything was neat and clean. Between him and Buck they kept a clean house and now that Christopher was getting older there weren’t toys strewn about, so all in all, it took him maybe one hour to clean and that was it.

Gusting out a sigh, Eddie figured it was better to just get the grocery shopping over with and then maybe find something to watch while he waited for Maddie.

He went into the kitchen and grabbed the list that he and Buck kept on the fridge of things they had run out of throughout the week that he would need to replace. He checked in the fridge, making notes of what they needed and soon enough he was ready to go, shoving on his shoes and jacket and making his way to his truck.

Like he had thought it took no time at all to do the grocery shopping, pick up the wine, and come back home to put it all away. At least he was satisfied that his weekend tasks were done. The house was sparkling and the fridge was packed, ready for the week ahead. He threw on a load of laundry and then plopped down on the couch to wait.

Right on time, Maddie knocked on his front door. She gave him a bright smile as he gestured for her to come in and after taking off her jacket and shoes, she handed him a plate of cookies.

“Jee’s first request for daddy-daughter day was to bake cookies, so Chimney and her made these this morning. I didn’t want to come empty handed,” Maddie said bashfully.

“You never have to worry about that, Maddie,” Eddie said, taking the plate from her. “That being said, these look amazing. I’ll never say no to cookies. Neither will Chris.”

Eddie took the plate to the kitchen and Maddie made herself comfortable on the couch. Eddie returned with the plate, sans a few cookies he put aside for Christopher, two glasses and one of the bottles of wine.

“Here we go,” Eddie said, putting down the plate and the glasses so he could uncork the wine. He poured two glasses and handed Maddie hers before putting the bottle next to the plate and picking up his own glass.

“So,” Maddie started, turning so she was facing sideways and could look at him. “Tell me everything.”

Eddie took a large gulp of his wine, wishing that he had something stronger for this conversation but feeling like it was a bit early to bring out the hard stuff. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“How about with what happened last night. Why were you at the bar by yourself?”

Eddie took another large sip. “Buck and I always hang out on Fridays, as sort of an end of the week thing. On Fridays we usually get off at the same time so we grab dinner and maybe watch the game, watch a movie if Christopher is with us. Which is less and less now that he’s getting into having sleepovers with his friends. Christ, that kid is popular. You know he has a sleepover like every weekend? He’s way more popular than I was at that age.”

“Wow, that’s great!” Maddie smiled. “How come you and Buck didn’t hang out yesterday?” She asked, redirecting him back to the original question.

“He, uh, wanted to go out with Natalia,” Eddie sighed, gulping down the rest of his glass and pouring another. He held the bottle out in silent question and Maddie gave him her almost empty glass to fill. “I was just going to come here and watch something, but then I went for a walk and ended up at the bar. I didn’t intend to get drunk last night, it just sort of happened that way.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Maddie said, sincerely. “I’m sorry my brother is being a dumbass right now.”

“It’s not your fault,” Eddie mumbled, playing with the stem of his glass. “Plus, he’s not being a dumbass, I am. All he’s doing is hanging out with his girlfriend, I’m the one acting like he’s cheating.” He said, self-deprecation clear.

“Well, he shouldn’t have blown you off, first of all, and second of all, I really truly believe that if you told him that you wanted him, Eddie, he would drop whatever and whoever to come running,” Maddie said.

Eddie let out a heavy sigh. “I just— I don’t want to get in the middle of anything, y’know? If Buck and I are going to be together that is definitely not how I want us to start. I want—” He cut himself off, breathing a little faster. “I want it to start better than that.”

“I understand.” Maddie was quiet for a moment, the both of them just sipping their wine. Finally, she spoke again. “What if I talked to him?”

Immediately, Eddie shook his head. “No, I can’t put that on you. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Or it’s not meant to be right now. I don’t know.”

Maddie hummed, considering. “Well, how come Buck ended up with you last night if he was going out with Natalia?”

Eddie finished his glass and refilled it, making an unhappy sound when he found their bottle running empty. “Let me just grab another one,” He said, getting up, taking the empty to the kitchen and grabbing a second bottle. He filled both their glasses and sat back down. “He called me,” Eddie said, jumping back into their conversation. “He said that Natalia had gotten a last minute client and asked me if I still wanted to hang out.”

“Ah, I see,” Maddie winced in sympathy. “What did you say?”

Eddie rubbed his jaw. “I— I told him that I wanted to be alone.”

“Oh, Eddie,” Maddie sighed.

“I know, I know,” He groaned. “I was being petty. I know that. I just, it didn’t feel so good that the only reason he wanted to hang out was because Natalia was now busy,” Eddie spilled, the wine making his tongue loose.

“I get that,” Maddie said, giving him a soft look. “And if Buck knew that it hurt you, you know he’d be all over himself to come and apologize.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie said, looking down at his already half empty glass of wine. They were going through the wine quite quickly and he was starting to feel a little hazy, the edges of the world getting fuzzy. “Then I hung up and talked to the bartender— which, this is all so new for me I don’t usually talk to people about these things but I guess once I’ve been drinking, I’m an open book,” Eddie huffed, looking annoyed at himself. “Then I called Chim and talked to you. Buck showed up at the bar before we were done talking, apparently he went looking for me.”

“Hmmm, I see,” Maddie said, a knowing look in her eyes. “Of course he did. My little brother doesn’t like being kept away from the people he loves.”

Eddie’s cheeks pinked up. “I—I didn’t mean to keep him away from me, I just needed a little bit of space. I can’t think properly around him sometimes,” He admitted in a whisper, staring hard at his wine. Jesus, he was being honest. It went against everything he was used to and yet it felt so good to get it off his chest.

“I felt that way around Chimney at first,” Maddie said, finishing off her glass and taking the liberty of refilling both hers and Eddie’s. “I would get butterflies and all flustered, but now— now I just feel settled. Anchored.”

Eddie looked at her. “That’s how I usually feel around him.”

Maddie smiled. “I know.”

“You do?”

“Like I said last night, Eddie, it’s clear that there are feelings between you and Buck. He loves you and you love him. Whatever he has going on with this Natalia woman isn’t going to last, but if you two don’t talk about things, this is just going to keep happening,” Maddie said softly, brushing some of her hair out of her eyes. “You’ll get a girlfriend and Buck will be upset. Buck will get a girlfriend and you’ll be upset. Why not just…talk to each other and be together?”

“I—” Eddie didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because suddenly there was the sound of a key in a lock and the front door was opening, Buck shouldering his way in.

Eddie and Maddie watched as Buck did a double take when he saw Maddie.

“Mads? What are you doing here?” He asked, shrugging out of his jacket and toeing off his shoes.

“Just came for some wine and a chat!” Maddie said brightly, lifting up her wine glass to show him.

“Oh…that’s nice,” Buck said, confusion still in his face. “I didn’t know you guys did that.”

Maddie and Eddie exchanged a look. “Well, we haven’t before, but I think we should keep doing it,” Maddie said, putting her glass out for Eddie to cheers her with. “It’s been a lot of fun.”

Eddie smiled and knocked his glass gently against hers. “It has been.”

“Okay then,” Buck said, making his way further into the house. He went into the kitchen and came back with a beer for himself, taking a seat on the floor near Maddie.

“I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” Maddie said, feeling the tension between the two men and rising on clumsy feet. She put her wine glass down and stumbled slightly. “Wow, okay, this wine is stronger than I thought.”

“You okay?” Buck asked, making like he was going to get up and help her walk.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Maddie assured him, giving him a smile before heading off to the bathroom.

There was an awkward pause as Maddie walked away, the two of them left in silence.

“So—”

“Hey—”

They blushed. “You go first,” Buck said.

“So how was your day with Natalia?” Eddie blurted out, staring at his wine glass accusingly. He hadn’t meant for that to sound so jealous, really he just wanted to know.

“Oh that, it went well,” Buck started, looking at Eddie meaningfully, but Eddie wouldn’t meet his eyes. “We—”

“Alright!” Maddie clapped her hands as she came back, plopping down back in her seat. “Chimney is on his way to pick me up, apparently Jee passed right out in the car after they went shopping and he’s lonely. What are you guys going to do with the rest of the evening?”

“We could watch a movie,” Eddie suggested. A movie was safe. He could do a movie.

“Yeah, sure,” Buck replied distractedly, still staring at Eddie.

Eddie avoided his gaze, getting up to grab another bottle of wine. When he came back he looked at Maddie questioningly, shaking the bottle lightly to silently ask if she wanted more.

Maddie shrugged. “Might as well,” She said, holding out her glass.

Eddie filled both their wine glasses and set the bottle down on the coffee table. He grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV, looking through the options as they all sat in strained silence. Maddie looked between the two men with pursed lips, a soft sigh leaving her as Eddie kept his attention unmoving, completely focused on the TV.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long the three of them sat like that, pretending to care about the different movies that were on the screen, but he was beyond grateful when a knock sounded at the door.

He shot to his feet and went to the door, opening it through blurry eyes. Woah, he was a little drunker than he thought. Maybe he shouldn’t have opened that third bottle.

“Eddie!” Chimney said cheerfully when Eddie got the door open. “I’ve come for my bride.”

Eddie grinned. “Come on in,” He said, getting out of the way so Chimney could enter the house.

“My love, I’ve come to rescue you from clutches of the Buckley-Diaz’s,” Chimney said with a bow, making Maddie laugh. “Your chariot and your daughter await.”

She was smiling brightly as she got to her feet, wobbling a little. Eddie guessed that she was as drunk as he was.

Buck got up too, giving Maddie a hug and letting her give him a soft kiss on the cheek. He sat down in the spot she had vacated when she went towards Chimney who took her hand to help keep her upright as she put on her shoes and got ready to go.

“My hero,” Maddie said dramatically, giving Chim a grateful kiss. Chimney grinned at her, twirling her around as she giggled.

“Alright, lovebirds,” Eddie said, amused at their display. He loved that they were happy. They both deserved the world and they had found happiness in each other. Eddie longed to have what they had. Too bad the person he wanted it with already had someone.

“Thanks for having me, Eddie,” Maddie said, untangling from Chimney for a minute so she could give Eddie a hug. “It was fun, we should do this again.”

“We should,” Eddie agreed, hugging her back. “Maybe coffee next time.”

“Sounds good,” Maddie said, smiling happily. She took Chimney’s hand back in hers and waved to Buck. “Bye, I’ll see you guys soon.”

“Bye, Mads,” Buck called through a mouth full of a cookie from the plate Eddie and Maddie had been nibbling on all afternoon.

With one last smile, Maddie and Chimney were out the door and heading towards Chimney’s car. Chimney threw his arm around Maddie and she wrapped hers around his waist, holding on to him as she stumbled slightly.

Eddie shook his head, chuckling as he closed the door.

Now it was just him and Buck.

Eddie felt his heart start to beat a little faster as he went back to the living room. Shit. What was he going to say to Buck? They were alone, with no buffer, and Eddie was very aware that he was drunk again. And apparently drunk Eddie was an honest Eddie so who knows what he was going to end up saying this time!

Eddie hesitated when he got back to the couch and pivoted, instead of sitting down he grabbed his and Maddie’s empty wine glasses. “I’m just gonna clean up a bit,” Eddie mumbled, keeping his eyes on what he was doing and resolutely not looking at Buck.

“Here, I can help,” Buck offered, starting to get up.

“No, it’s okay,” Eddie said, waving him off.

Buck sat back with a pout. He stared at Eddie as Eddie cleaned up the table, making a trip to the kitchen to put the dishes away before coming back for the empty wine bottle and plate of cookies. Once that was cleared away there was nothing to prevent him from going back and sitting next to Buck.

Eddie came back to the couch and gingerly sat down next to Buck, practically clinging to the edge of the couch. It was nothing like how they usually sat, their shoulders and thighs pressed together as they practically shared a seat. Had Eddie not been staring forward he would have noticed the devastated look on Buck’s face.

“So what do you want to watch?” Eddie asked, his voice unsteady. His heart was still racing and he felt too hot, like the t-shirt he was wearing was suffocating him even though it was on the looser side. Really all he wanted to do was take a cold shower and go to bed in a miserable heap.

“I’m fine with anything,” Buck muttered, a scowl on his face that Eddie didn’t see.

Eddie clicked on the first movie that he came across, some random action flick, and pressed play. They sat in silence as the story unfolded, but neither of them were paying attention. Buck was watching Eddie out of the corner of his eye, trying for the life of him to figure out what was going on with Eddie and why he wouldn’t look at him.

Meanwhile, Eddie was lost in his own little world, the wine having made him feel kind of melancholy now that Maddie had left. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had basically spilled to Buck that he liked him last night and Buck had still gone to spend the day with Natalia. And then he just came back like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t just spent hours away with his girlfriend.

Halfway through the movie, Buck finally gave up. “I can’t take this anymore,” He said, reaching over Eddie to grab the remote and hit pause. He turned his whole body so he was facing Eddie. “What’s going on with you? Why are you shutting me out?”

“I’m not shutting you out, Buck,” Eddie said, already so, so tired. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to fight.

“Yes, you are! You’ll barely even look at me!” Buck huffed, his lips pulled down in a frown. “What’s going on, Eddie?”

“I can’t do this right now,” Eddie said, getting up from the couch. “I’m kind of drunk, I really can’t handle having this conversation.”

Buck sighed heavily, getting up himself and crossing his arms. “Alright, fine, we can talk tomorrow then, but we do have to talk.”

“Fine,” Eddie grumbled, turning around and going towards the kitchen. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Pizza s’fine,” Buck mumbled, falling back onto the couch. He picked up the remote and unpaused the movie.

Eddie swallowed down the urge to apologize, to lay everything bare and just tell Buck what was going on. Instead he forced his body to move, to turn around and go to the kitchen and grab the takeout menu for their favourite pizza place. He called in the order robotically, just going through the motions but not really being present. Fuck, he hated fighting with Buck. He felt hollow.

Pizza ordered, Eddie lingered in the kitchen, stalling. He got a glass of water and took a few grateful sips, then went in search of some painkillers. He could feel a headache starting to build behind his eyes, the stress of everything with Buck manifesting as physical pain. He swallowed down two pills and the rest of his water, putting his cup in the sink. With a sigh he went back to the living room, he couldn’t hide from Buck any longer.

Eddie sat down back in his spot on the couch and tried to get into the movie, but if you asked him what it was about he wouldn’t be able to even slightly answer. All he could think about was Buck beside him, unhappy. They were both miserable right now and it was all Eddie’s fault. If he hadn’t gotten drunk and made things weird then they wouldn’t be in this situation right now. Buck and he would just be enjoying a night in, pressed together like normal and talking shit about the dumb movie they had chosen. Instead it was silent between them, the only sound in the room being the bad dialogue of the movie.

Thirty minutes later they were finished the movie and looking for a second one when there was a knock at the door.

Eddie got up to grab the pizza, handing the remote to Buck and mumbling for him to choose something. Eddie paid the pizza guy and closed the door, wondering if he looked as miserable as he felt given that the pizza guy had given him a sympathetic look. With a sigh, Eddie grabbed some plates and napkins from the kitchen and brought them to the couch.

With another random movie playing in the background, Eddie and Buck ate their dinner. By the time the movie credits rolled around Eddie was feeling sober enough that he thought maybe they would actually be able to talk tonight. But as he opened his mouth to offer, Buck stood up. “Well, I should get going.”

Ah, right. Couldn’t leave Natalia waiting now could he.

“Right,” Eddie mumbled, turning away so Buck didn’t see his scowl. He grabbed the pizza box and their plates, taking them to the kitchen.

Buck marched in behind him. “Okay, fuck talking tomorrow. We’re talking now. What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on, Buck,” Eddie said, putting their plates in the sink before turning back around to Buck and crossing his arms. “You have to get back to Natalia, I get it.”

“Go back to— what are you talking about?”

Eddie gave him a look. “What are you talking about? What, you don’t remember your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Buck finally shouted, throwing his hands up. “Not anymore.” He finished quietly.

Eddie was stunned. “Since when?”

“Since today? Where do you think I went earlier?” Buck asked, mimicking Eddie’s pose and crossing his arms.

Eddie waved his arms. “I don’t know! You told me you were going to see Natalia, how was I supposed to know that meant you were breaking up with her?!”

“You said—” Buck started then stopped. He took a deep breath and continued. “Last night, you implied that we,” He gestured between them. “could happen. That you might— that you could—” He huffed, closing his eyes as he tried to string his words together. “I thought that you meant that you felt the same way. That you wanted to be with me.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open and he stared at Buck. He took too long processing Buck’s words because Buck’s shoulders dropped and he curled into himself.

“I guess I was wrong,” He whispered. “I’m just gonna go home,” Buck said miserably, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. He started to turn towards the door when Eddie finally sprang into action.

“Wait,” Eddie said, grabbing Buck’s shoulder and whirling him around to face him. “Say it again.”

“Say what again, Eddie?” Buck said, exhaustion evident in his face, his eyes, even his voice.

Eddie swallowed. “You want me?”

“Um, duh,” Buck looked at him incredulously. “What do you think I’ve been trying to tell you?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie muttered under his breath, cursing his stupidity and the fact that if he had just listened to what Buck was actually saying, he might have saved them both some pain.

“You are giving me all kinds of signals here, Eddie,” Buck murmured, but there was a hopeful look in his eyes now.

“I— screw it,” Eddie decided that his actions would speak louder than his words, so he fisted his hand in Buck’s shirt and tugged him against him, crashing their lips together.

Buck made a low, wounded sound deep in his throat and practically threw himself against Eddie. They fit together perfectly, just like Eddie had always known that they would. Eddie moved his hand to Buck’s cheek as he licked along the seam of his lips, desperately begging for entrance. Buck opened up easily, tangling his tongue with Eddie’s with a satisfied moan.

Eddie wasn’t sure how long they kissed but when he finally pulled back Buck’s lips were red, puffy, and spit-slick. He couldn’t resist diving in for another kiss, nipping at Buck’s bottom lip just to hear him whimper. Finally Eddie forced himself away, the both of them breathing unsteadily.

Buck’s eyes were still closed and Eddie cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone while he waited to see Buck’s pretty blue eyes. He didn’t rush him, just let him take his time. When Buck’s eyes fluttered open they were dark, darker than Eddie had ever seen them. Want was clear in his eyes and Eddie felt his stomach clench as an answering wave of want went through him.

“Wow,” Buck mumbled, the first to break the silence between them.

“Yeah, wow,” Eddie agreed, still kind of dazed.

“So, this means we’re doing this, right? Me and you?” Buck said softly. It felt like if he raised his voice too much it would break the spell they were under.

Eddie smiled. “Yeah, Buck. We’re doing this.”

“Good,” Buck said, looking settled for the first time in days. “Now I don’t have to worry about having to fight Adam.”

Eddie rolled his eyes fondly. “Buck, he wasn’t flirting with me.”

“Oh, yes he was,” Buck insisted. “Eddie, trust me. People, including me, flirt with you all the time and you never notice. It’s the bane of my existence.”

“I would have noticed if you flirted with me,” Eddie protested, tangling their fingers together and tugging Buck close. “I noticed that you were jealous last night.”

“I wasn’t being very discreet,” Buck said, amused. He leaned forward to peck Eddie on the lips. “Besides, last night, this morning, this whole day doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we’re here, together.”

“Yeah,” Eddie smiled down at their joined hands. Finally. He was about to say something else when he suddenly remembered something. “Wait, Maddie.”

“Maddie?” Buck’s brows drew together in confusion.

“I have to tell her she was right,” Eddie said, pulling away from Buck in search of his phone.

“Do you have to do this right now?” Buck asked. “We were kind of having a moment.”

“We’ll have lots of moments,” Eddie replied distractedly. “Where’d I put my phone?”

Buck sighed. “Here, babe.” He reached over to the counter behind Eddie and grabbed his phone, handing it to him.

Eddie grinned. “You called me babe.” He took the phone from Buck with a happy, goofy look on his face.

“Yeah,” Buck ducked his head, blushing. “That okay?”

“That’s more than okay,” Eddie murmured, bringing Buck in for a kiss. “Babe.”

The kiss was a mess because both of them were smiling too much for it to be a proper kiss.

“I’m just going to give her a quick call,” Eddie said, gesturing to his phone.

Buck nodded. “Alright, tell her I say hi. I’ll go find something to watch.”

“Sounds good, baby,” Eddie mumbled, already distracted by his phone. He didn’t see the happy, excited flush that took over Buck’s cheeks at the casual pet name.

Buck went back to the living room while Eddie dialled Maddie’s number.

“Hello?”

Expecting to hear Maddie’s voice, Eddie was surprised to hear Chimney’s. “Hey, man, I was just trying to give Maddie a call.”

Chimney laughed. “The wine hit her when we got home and she and Jee-Yun are passed out in front of the TV. Barely made it through the first half of Frozen. What’s up? You want me to take a message?”

“Nah, that’s okay,” Eddie said. “Just maybe ask her to give me a call tomorrow? And tell her she was right.”

“Will she know what she was right about?” Chimney asked, before backtracking. “Actually it doesn’t matter, that woman is usually right about everything. She’ll know what you mean.”

“Okay, great,” Eddie said. “I, uh, I have to get back to Buck but I’ll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?”

“Wait, wait, wait, back to Buck?” Chimney asked, the snap of his gum clear over the phone. “Did you two finally get your heads out of your asses?!”

Eddie snorted. “I wouldn’t put it like that but yes.”

Chimney made a squawking sound. “Eddie, you have to wait to tell the team for two weeks, okay? Do you hear me? If you do, I’ll win the bet.”

“What bet?”

“The Buckley-Diaz Will They/Won’t They bet!” Chimney exclaimed, and though Eddie couldn’t see him he just knew he was waving his arms around, gesturing wildly. “I got good money on this, Diaz.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous, I’m hanging up now.”

“Diaz! Eddie, please!” Chimney’s fading voice said as Eddie pulled the phone away from his ear, chuckling. He shoved his phone into his pocket and walked into the living room.

“You speak to Maddie?” Buck asked, looking up from the TV.

“No, she’s asleep, got Chim instead. Apparently the wine hit her in the middle of watching Frozen with Jee and she’s passed out,” Eddie said, letting out a little laugh. He sat down next to Buck and, unlike before, this time he was pressed against Buck, their shoulders and thighs molded together. Like normal.

Buck sighed happily as Eddie leaned his weight against him, his arm coming up and around Eddie’s shoulders. They sat there for a moment, just breathing in each other’s presence and basking in the calm it brought them.

“This is nice,” Buck murmured, grazing his fingers up and down Eddie’s arm.

“Hmm, yeah it is,” Eddie agreed, relaxing even further against Buck. “I’m glad we talked tonight.” He whispered, reaching for Buck’s other hand and tangling their fingers together before resting their hands on his chest.

“Me too,” Buck pressed a soft kiss to the side of Eddie’s head. “I’m sorry for all the miscommunication. I should have been clearer.”

“I should’ve too,” Eddie sighed. “I was so worried about ruining us that I let things escalate. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we got there eventually,” Buck said, holding Eddie tighter.

“That we did.” Eddie smiled. “Oh, by the way the team has a bet on us.”

“Of course they do,” Buck sighed, shaking his head in amusement. “Who’s winning?”

“I’m not sure, but Chimney said if we wait two weeks to tell them then he’ll win,” Eddie snorted, shaking his head slightly. “I’m torn between letting him win and purposely telling them earlier.”

“Why don’t we let Chimney win and make him give the money to Maddie,” Buck mused.

“Oh, good idea. She did listen to me whine for an entire afternoon about you, so, compensation?” Eddie laughed, his body shaking against Buck with his amusement.

“I knew you guys were talking about me.”

“Obviously,” Eddie looked up at Buck. “I thought you were with Natalia having a great time while I was here, pining.”

“I was not having a great time, even though she was completely chill about it breakups still suck,” Buck admitted.

Eddie stilled in his arms. “Do you need time to process the breakup? Are we moving too fast?”

“No, no, no,” Buck said, jostling Eddie in his arms so that he was looking at him. “We’re not moving too fast, Eddie we’ve been dancing around this for years.”

“Fair point,” Eddie smiled. “It feels like I’ve been waiting for this forever.”

“Same.”

“So,” Eddie started. “Do we let Chimney win the money?”

“I think so,” Buck said, shaking his head as he continued, “He needs it, Maddie told me he just bought a surprise hot tub.”

“Oh, Chim,” Eddie chuckled. “That sounds like him.”

“We should get a hot tub.”

“Where would we put a hot tub?”

“Okay, fine,” Buck sighed dramatically. “I guess I’ll survive.”

“I’ll give you a kiss to make it better,” Eddie offered, grinning that he could do that now. He was allowed.

“Deal.”

And as Eddie leaned in to kiss Buck, he quietly thanked his past self for getting drunk and spilling his feelings.

It had worked out quite well for him indeed.

Notes:

i hope you liked it! please let me know if you did i'll love you forever :3

also if you wanna come talk to me about the blorbos you can on tumblr !!

also also i have a smut sequel in the works if y'all would be interested in that 👀 let me know! i know i'm always promising sequels and not doing them (sorry i go where the muse goes) but this one is half done already so fingies crossed!

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