Chapter Text
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. Those days of soda and prezels and beers. Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. I wish that summer could always be here.
”What the hell is that?” muttered Jess as he exited the bathroom and spotted Luke at the kitchen table.
”Taylor,” Luke grunted shortly. ”Been playing all day.”
”Right.”
Jess grabbed a hoodie and two books from the shelf Luke had just installed and headed for the door.
”Where are you going?” Luke asked half-heartedly, as he took a small sip from his beer and tapped a pen on a midway solved Stars Hollow Gazette crossword puzzle.
”Shane’s.”
Luke looked up from the magazine and raised his eyebrow.
”That’s still happening?”
”Yeah,” shrugged Jess.
Luke pinched the bridge between his eyebows and sighed.
”I don’t need to have the talk with you, right?”
”Oh geez!”
Luke threw his hands up in the air, exasperated.
”Well I don’t know, Jess,” he said. ”Is it that crazy? I mean your mom was only a little older than you are right now when she got pregnant. And I’m not looking to be some kind of a grand-uncle to Jess Jr while I’m still in my thirties!”
Jess snorted and decided not to entertain this idea. He had lost his virginity to a girl in his building when he was freshly fourteen, but Luke didn’t need to know that, now did he?
”You got like eight of those wrong” he pointed out instead instead, nodding at the crossword puzzle. ”And you missed all the easiest ones.”
He hoped that would take Luke’s mind off whatever mortifying topic of conversation he had planned and made a second attempt to head for the door. At the last minute he changed his mind and went for the bookshelf instead, replacing one of his books.
”Shelf worked out good?” Luke asked, still eyes on the crossword puzzle he was never going to solve. ”I wasn’t sure if it was big enough for all of your books, but I just needed to make something. Was sick of tripping over piles all the time.”
”Shelf worked out,” Jess confirmed, picking out a book he hadn’t read in a while.
Luke nodded, taking another sip of his beer.
”You should have let me put them in though, you really messed up my system,” Jess pointed out.
”What system?” Luke grunted. ”Eighteen piles by your bed.”
”Eighteen piles sorted by genre, time period and theme,” Jess said defensively.
”Oh well, excuse me.”
Jess shrugged nonchalantly, making it almost to the door when Luke once again opened his mouth.
”Are you helping me with rush hour today?”
”Like I have a choice,” said Jess, annoyed at being kept longer. ”And you call that a rush, try working at a Starbucks or a McDonalds in the busiest city on earth. During the slowest hour of the day we still serve more people than Stars Hollow’s entire population.”
”Stars Hollow’s population is almost ten thousand,” said Luke pointlessly.
”Could have fooled me, all I see is the same five assholes,” Jess replied, stomping his foot impatiently. ”Can I go now?”
”Sure you can, Mr. Personality,” said Luke, amused for some reason. ”As soon as you tell me the answers to these four (he guestured to the crossword puzzle). They’ve been bugging me all morning and if it’s really as easy as you claim it is, then…”
”Pneumonic, Oboe, Erase, Inn. You can tell Taylor you did it. See ya.”
Jess finally made it out and headed to Shane’s house in his usual New Yorker speed. She was watching him from the window, and opened it when she saw him coming.
”Meet you by the fat tree in 10?”
”Yeah, ok.”
”Cool.”
”Yep.”
*
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. Those days of soda and prezels and beer. Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. I wish that summer could always be here.
”I think I finally found a song worse than that crap you showed me yesterday!” said Shane as she applied some cherry lipgloss, fixing the look Jess had effectively ruined.
They were lying under a tree, secluded enough from the festivities to only hear distant excitement, but like most of Taylor’s shenanigans, there was no escaping the trumpet noise. Shane had asked him what the best spot in town was, but he couldn’t bring himself to share his place of solitude, the lakes, with anyone (anyone else), so under a tree it was. Jess was reading one of his books (Lonesome dove) and Shane had her head on his lap and was eating a bag of candies she had pulled out of her little purse.
”Rude!” replied Jess, putting his hand to his chest.
”Seriously can’t believe I’m back here!” said Shane, shaking her head. ”I’m totally gonna kill my dad.”
Shane had lived in Star’s Hollow up until fourth grade, when her family had relocated. Then years later, at the end of last term, her three older brothers already out of the house, Shane’s parents had decided to try and save their crumbling marriage by moving back to the house where they had spent their first few years as a couple. Jess had learned all this very late into his relationship with Shane, when they had actually decided to start talking. Before that, the thing keeping them together was being two people who fucking hated Stars Hollow. But honestly, they both thought that was just as valid of a connection as anything.
Shane had approached Jess because she very quickly realised he was the only teenager in town who was sane and free of that small town chipper, and also smoked cigarettes and had ways of getting them. They had mostly spent their days making out after that, and the few moments in between Jess would read and half listen as Shane crapped on her ex (italian stallion who vaguely resembled him, but much dumber and more assertive, apparently). It was a good arrangement.
Jess liked Shane more and more. She was cool, mostly wanted to make out, didn’t feel the need to mindlessly yammer all the time. And she was always chill, effortlessly unbothered. Yes, that was it. You could tell she hadn’t spent the better part of her life in a town where everyone got their panties in a twist about being on the recieving end of an asshole remark while getting their coffee. She didn’t nag, didn’t push. Just rolled her eyes a lot, but more affectionately these days. She looked like the older girls as the block parties he always went to when he was way too young, probably. And like his mom’s friends from when he was a little kid. The bleach blondes with the lips, that was Shane.
”Jess!”
”Huh!”
”I’m talking to you!” said Shane, removing her head from his lap and playfully taking his book. ”You never listen to me!”
”Says you!” Jess scoffed in the same playful tone, moving his eyes to her with a smirk. ”I was trying to talk to you and you just kept cutting me off to kiss me. Then you got pissed at me for runing your lips!”
”Wow, he listens!” Shane teased. ”And I had to cut off your dork talk, I don’t have time to listen to what your books are about, I have needs!”
”I never talk about my books, I was just telling you that the main character reminded me off you, but now you’ll never know why!”
”I think I’ll live.”
Jess and Shane locked eyes for a few seconds, both challenging the other to cave first. Then they fell to the ground laughing, Shane once again rolling her eyes, and Jess unsuccessfully hiding his smile.
”Whatever,” Shane giggled as they took a comfortable position, laying next to each other under the tree. Jess felt her breathing tickle against his skin and was gonna kiss her neck, when she spoke. ”Do you miss New york? I seriously can’t imagine having to move here from New york.”
Jess turned to look at her. They never asked each other questions, even simple ones.
”Yeah,” he replied earnestly. ”Course I do, Stars Hollow fucking sucks. No privacy, nowhere to go. Place is a fishbowl.”
Jess figured this would turn into their favorite tipic of conversation, ripping on Stars Hollow, when Shane turned the conversation around.
”You miss your mom?”
He didn’t answer right away. Shane had asked this very casually as she chewed on a piece of candy and looked out at the festivities with half open eyes, but the question hit Jess in a way he didn’t expect. Shane was the one person he could count on not to bother him with crap like this. Somehow he didn’t mind when she asked, though. Shane wasn’t sheltered, she had seen things. Not like he had, but things. She wouldn’t harp on him, she’d find something else that she’d deem not totally lame and move on.
”Sometimes,” Jess surprised himself by saying. ”Yeah, sometimes. I miss when it was just us and not some asshole guy. Who she was, when she focused on me. I used to savour that shit.”
Shane looked at him, puzzled.
”Yeah, that makes sense,” she said, shrugging.
”Hmm.”
They laid there, breathing each other in, with only the sound of Shane’s chewing and those damn trumpets.
”Were they like violent guys? Or junkies or drunks? Or just annoying?”
Jess raised his eyebrows coolly. Shane sighed impatiently.
”Oh don’t get all defensive now!” she said, hauling her body up. ”It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone! You’re the only one around here who’s slightly cool. I told you all my shit, with my dad, my brother… I’m not gonna call social security if you won’t!”
Jess choked on a laugh and Shane laid back down, satisfied. She was right. A couple of days ago, she had told him some pretty brutal stories very nochalantly, and it had reminded Jess of the brass people of New York city, how he used to talk to his friends back home, where everything wasn’t sunshine and Hallmark cards. The problem with living in a city where everything moved all the time, which he otherwised longed for, was that the people came and went too because no one gave a shit about anything. He hadn’t spoken to any of his friends from back home in months. He hadn’t spoken to anyone.
”Violent, junkie, drunk and annoying are pretty much my mom’s list of desireble traits in a partner,” Jess said at last. ”I’d say you gotta have at least two to date her. Nah, scrap that, gotta be three. Sometimes she’s feeling generous, but usually, the guy’s gotta check all those boxes.”
”So basically…”
Shane looked directly at him, neither scandalized nor suddenly squirmy, and Jess liked that.
”I got the shit beaten out of me, yeah.”
”Shit.”
”Yup.”
”It didn’t happen a lot,” continued Jess, truthfully. ”And I don’t think my mom knew, it’s not like that. The thing is, mostly she’d just neglect to take care of me because she was too fucked up or focused on her new relationship. She isn’t what anyone would think of as a bad person. She’s always happy. She was just not good at taking care of anyone, because she was so unstable and just… naive. But still…”
Jess didn’t continue after that. There was plenty left to say, but sometimes he just felt all talked out and when that happened, nothing could get him going again and he’d usually just bail on the situation. Shane would give herself stitches laughing if she knew what oral presentations were like as a kid. Luckily she didn’t and just layed there, cool as a cucumber, chewing on her candy. God, Shane was the best.
”So, mother issues,” she said, after a while. ”Figures. I was wondering why you agreed to come back to a fishbowl town just to slave in a burger joint and sleep in a creepy studio appartment with your uncle. I thought it was over a girl or something before I realised what a hermit you are.”
”Well none of the hundreds of mold infested shitholes me and my mom haved lived in have been any bigger,” said Jess, tired of trying to rationalize his decision to return, and the tiny bit of truth in Shane’s suggestion. ”And at least Luke and Lorelai…”
”Who?”
”Chatty coffe lady.”
”Oh god she’s annoying.”
”Yup. But least when her and Luke do it…”
”They’re doing it? Oh, you can totally tell. Basically drooling at each other over the counter. At least when we make out over the counter we actually do it and it’s hot.”
”Well yeah, I think they’re still working on getting futher than than eye fucking,” Jess said crudely. ”But whatever weird shit Luke has going on with her or anyone else, he doesn’t bring into the appartment like Liz.”
Shane laughed loudly.
”Nooo.”
”Yup,” said Jess and started mimicking a bed creaking.
Shane rolled her eyes but eventually joined in. They locked eyes once more and let out a laugh.
”So Luke’s cool?” repeated Shane, regaining composure.
Jess shrugged.
”Sure, he’s cool. Took me in, didn’t he?”
Shane hummed.
”He can’t say no to his sister, that’s the thing,” said Jess and shook his head. ”Beats me why. I suppose to him she’s just his annoying little sibling. He doesn’t get how much more she sucks when she’s responsible for you. Luke doesn’t get the Liz stuff. But he’s cool.”
Jess didn’t know why he found himself talking about his mother again. Suddenly the heat of the fucking sun was really bothering him (even though Shane looked hot all glowing) and those trumpets were about to send him into a rage. He was aware how much of a bummer he was being. Time to change the topic to their favorite one.
”Still hate Stars Hollow, though.”
”Well duh,” Shane replied with a yawn.
”Me and my mom have that in common,” Jess said. ”We’re both too fast paced, I think.”
What the fuck was wrong with him?
”When I first moved here, I feel like I understood her more than I ever did before,” he yammered on, despite himself. ”I don’t know if I could stay here another second longer than I have to, even if I had a kid now.”
He thought of Luke’s attempt at the talk this morning and shuddered.
”Jess, I have something to tell you,” Shane deadpanned.
Hearing her telling a lame Jess-style joke caught him so off guard that he let out a delighted laugh.
”Well, then, I hear they’re selling houses on one of those fruit streets.”
”Oooh,” said Shane, continuing the lame bit. ”Let’s come up with the perfect baby name for an all american Stars hollow boy…”
”Gotta be… Dean Forrester,” said Jess with mock serenity.
”Oh my god, hes SO annoying,” said Shane, her voice more lively than Jess had ever heard it. ”Hate his service with a smile crap so much that he’s ruined the market for me. Seriously.”
Jess thought he may loved her.
”Ok so Dean Forrester, what about the middle name?” Shane giggled. ”Something basic like… William.”
”Hey! That’s my middle name!”
”Perfect, named after his daddy,” teased Shane, unphazed. ”That’s to say, if it’s yours.”
”Who can blame you, life as a Stars Hollow housewife can get dull,” said Jess.
Shane giggled and slapped him with the book that had laid forgotten on the ground.
”I should’ve figured about William,” she said. ”You know, William’s hardware store. I always stand there staring at that sign when I wait for you to come out.”
”When have I ever kept you waiting? You’re the one always trying on six different lipglosses when you know I’m gonna kiss it all away in a second!
”Ummm no,” said Shane definatly. ”You take way longer doing your hair than I do on my lips.”
”I don’t see you complaining! If we’re gonna provide for Deano someone’s gotta buy the products at that store you work at.”
Shane snorted.
”Well what about you?” she said, sticking her chin out. ”Are you gonna put up a new sign next to William’s hardware store and Luke’s diner and make it Jess’… nerdy book club place?”
Jess feigned hurt and Shane rolled her eyes (affectionately). Once more, Shane and Jess burst into laughter. They laughed as hard and eventually way harder than being two monosyballic too cool for school assholes would typically allow them to.
”No, we’re so getting out of this town,” Shane panted.
”Oh yes” said Jess.
After a while they eyed the crowd and spotted Luke who finally seemed to have stepped out to join the festivities, declaring the building fair game.
”So, sex?” asked Shane, tilting her head.
”Only if you promise not to poke any holes in the condom so that Dean Forrester William Mariano slips out.”
”Hah. I hate you. Last time we joked about that by the way. Let’s get out of here. You should get a car. God, I hate this song.”
*
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. Those days of soda and prezels and beer. Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. I wish that summer could always be here.
Predictably Luke ended up back at the diner helping Ceasar with something he didn’t orgiginally plan on helping him with, so Jess and Shane settled on making out by a different tree. It was pretty great, and Jess got a certain kind of thrill from the whole PDA thing, which was a favorite of Shane’s. And then he spotted her in a pretty summer dress and gone it was, replaced with a different, new kind of thrill. Anger? He didn’t know.
Jess hadn’t seen Rory all summer. They had kissed and it felt like flying, everything he ever dared to dream. Until gravity dragged them right back onto the ground. ”Don’t tell anyone”. He didn’t know what he had expected efter that but this radio silence had been dissapointing. Luke and Lorelai seemed to be in some sort of fight that Jess didn’t really care to find out more about, but he had been counting on Lorelai walzing into the diner everyday with some kind of news on Rory, and now he hadn’t even have that. He got some kind of satisfaction out of how much it seemed to bother Lorelai that he was back, however. Jess knew that he probably was on thin ice with Luke and was due to hit the road again soon, but as far as she knew, he was there to stay. Small victories. He watched Lorelai and Rory from the corner of his eye. Shane, less clueless than people gave her credit for, seemed to realise who he was watching.
”Riight, Chatty is her mom,” she said, nodding, her hand still on his bicep. ”That girl from elementary. Yeah, she had like a young mom. What was that girl’s name again…”
Jess shrugged.
”Oh come on, you were checking her out,” Shane said, giggling. ”We went to elementary together… this is gonna bother me, oh my god, what was her name? Anyways, she looks like a total prude. Figures, she was like Stars Hollow’s princess, never talked to any of us girls, thought she was too good…”
”Huh,” said Jess, and interrupted Shane’s reply with a kiss. He didn’t immefiately join Shane in mocking Stars Hollow’s princess, which led her yo the stupid conclusion that…
”Oh my god, you like her! She’s the girl!”
”Can we not?” sighed Jess.
”Mmhm, sure,” said Shane. ”This makes so much sense, for you to like book girl. That’s your type, right? Plain, all natural boring girls?”
”Hey, she’s-”
”Relax!” said Shane. ”Let’s make her totally jealous. Grab my ass!”
Jess did. He couldn’t tell if Rory had spotted them, but he hoped she did. This is how it felt like seeing the one you should be with make out with someone else. Except whatever Dumbo-Dean and Rory had going on obviously wasn’t nearly as great as this. Oh great, speaking of the devil. He saw his beanstalk frame and ridiculus face and irritating gestures and restrained from rolling his eyes. He saw Rory embrace him in a lame hug, and he gave Shane a passionate kiss in response. Whatever mind games he and Rory had going on right now was probably one of the most petty and ridiculus things he’d ever been a part of but screw it. He saw Rory walk alway in her pretty dress, hand in hand with Dean. Jess sighed and let go of Shane. She groaned.
”Do I have to listen to you rant about her now? You were starting to get into it.”
”What, no?” snapped Jess.
”Forget it, I wanna know,” yawned Shane. ”It’s only fair, after all. What’s the story?”
”Nothing!” said Jess pointedly. ”We were sorta friends because she was the only one in this town I could stand that could stand me. Now we’re not.”
”Yeah, well you suck, so I don’t know what she saw in you,” said Shane, already looking for her lipgloss in her pocket.
”She’s cool,” said Jess grumpily, ignoring the quip. ”I liked talking to her, we had the same interests.”
Shane snorted teasingly.
”Oh yeah? Books, right?” she mocked.
”Yeah. But good books, not that young adult crap.”
”Huh?”
”But we were just friends, her and I,” Jess continued ranting. ”That’s pretty taboo in this town, you know, if you even talk to a member of the opposite sex, you’re due to get married eight after graduation. Everyone went ballistic when we started hanging out. Apparently I’m a bad influence on the…”
He was going to say Star’s Hollow’s princess but he knew Rory hated that label. For some reason it felt wrong to use it, even though she wasn’t listening. That wasn’t Rory. Rory saw Jess for who he was and not in the way the world thought of him, and so Jess did the same with her. Even if that was all they were ever gonna have, they had that.
”Hah, you? Please,” snorted Shane. ”And that’s so dumb. Most of my friends are guys, I’d be cool with you two being friends. You can talk with her about nerd stuff, get it put of your system. I get all the fun stuff. I don’t do jealousy. If the guy wants to cheat, I’m better off.”
”Right!” said Jess, deciding to ignore the fact that he probably was the most jealous person in the Hollow right now. ”Her little boyfriend doesn’t agree though.”
He grinned and shook his head.
”No?”
”Did you see who it was?”
”I don’t know, some tall gu… wait noooo?” said Shane, realisation dawning on her face. ”Oh she’s dating him? Figures. Oh my god. Oh my god.”
”Yup, Jess grinned. ”Dumbo himself. He’s such an idiot. Tall. Everytime I talk to Rory, it’s like smoke’s coming out of his ears, it’s hilarious.”
They both laughed crudely and it felt good.
”You know I can seduce Dean if you want help getting Ronnie!” Shane suggested.
”Rory.”
”Huh? Oh whatever. That girl you have feelings for.”
”I don’t.”
”Yup you do. And you’d be a crappy boyfriend dating Star’s Hollow princess and she’s gonna give you the life we just crapped on but if that’s what you want… just tell her.”
Jess let go of Shane’s hand and she raised her eyebrows at him.
”Rory is not like that, ok? She wants to be a journalist. She’s really cool, coolest girl I’ve ever met. She does her own thing, that’s what makes her cool. She deserves better than that Dean guy, he doesn’t know her! She deserves way better than me, which she probably realised, because she didn’t even write me all summer. Which is fine, but she doesn’t have anything to say, really, does she?”
Shane stared at him for a few seconds, then started laughing.
”Wow, ok. Let’s have sex. My dad must have left by now. I liked you better when you didn’t talk. You can pretend I’m her and I’ll pretend you’re my ex, but it’ll be really hard because he’s way bigger. Summer’s almost over, and we have to break up anyways. I wanna be single when school starts, take advantage of being the new girl. Where was Ronnie all summer anyways?”
”Prep school thing,” Jess mumbled.
Shane squealed in delight.
”What was that?” she teased. ”Oh you’re screwed. Prep school? No way she’s gonna want to date you! You dummie! You’re way too damaged. Ooh, you’re such a loser!”
Shane continued laughing as she walked backwards down the street to her house. Jess followed her, crabbily. Oh, he was screwed all right.
*
Jess left Shane’s in an hour or so upon arrival, to dutifully make the so called rush hour. He slaved there for a while, but predictably it died down fairly quickly, and it was just him, Luke, a couple on randos, and, of course, Kirk. Jess had just pulled out his book again to entertain himself when Luke cleared his throat.
”So, Rory’s home,” he said.
Jess didn’t look up from his book.
”You’re telling me this extravaganza today wasn’t to celebrate her arrival?”
Luke raised his eyebrows.
”Is… um… everything good between you guys?” he asked.
Jess could tell this conversation was killing his uncle, as it involved some slight confrontation. He didn’t reply and continued reading. Luke sighed, scratching his hair (or lack thereof).
”What are you reading?” he tried instead.
Jess sighed, irritably.
”You’d think that a guy who pulls out a book at every chance he gets wouldn’t need summer school to pass junior year,” Luke grunted. ”You’d also think that that guy’s uncle wouldn’t keep getting calls from school, asking to set up a plan to…”
”Ok, you got me!” Jess snapped. ”I don’t want to talk about school, or Rory, just leave me alone. You’re one to talk, anyways!”
”What’s that supposed to mean?”
”Well, what’s going on with you and Lorelai?” Jess asked hotly.
Luke’s eyes went dark.
”Nothing.”
”Oh yeah?”
”Have something to eat before Kirk eats all the good stuff.”
”Oh, I see how it is.”
”It’s nothing. You need your strength. I’ll make you something.”
”Hypocrite.”
Luke threw his order pad at the counter with a force that made Jess flinch and Kirk almost fall off his seat. Luke sighed apologetically.
”Me and Lorelai had a little disagreement over the… car situation.”
Jess swallowed.
”Huh.”
”Yes. She didn’t seem to think that it mattered that you… well.”
”Oh,” said Jess, not wanting his uncle to squirm any longer. ”You fought because of me, then?”
”Situation is over and dealt with,” said Luke.
”Right,” said Jess. ”I’m sorry for fucking everything up, though.”
”You didn’t,” said Luke pointedly. ”I’m in your corner on this one, Jess, ok? Now get some food in you. And by the way, we have a meeting at the school tomorrow.”
”Wha-”
”Well they need to meet with us before school starts to see if you can become a senior! Merton said he’s not sure of how much makeup work you’re looking at since he couldn’t get a hold of the work you did while you went back to your old school after the… thing.”
”I didn’t,” said Jess simply.
”What?”
”I didn’t go back to school after the accident.”
Luke looked like he was about to burst.
”What?” he snapped again. ”What did your mom have to say about this?”
”She didn’t re-enrol me,” Jess shrugged. ”And I wasn’t gonna remind her.”
”She didn’t…” started Luke exasperated and started pracing. ”Oh never mind her, let me ask you, Jess, what’s this thing with school?”
”What?” replied Jess, irritably.
”I mean, there’s things I’d rather be doing at ten in the morning too than sit at a meeting and convince some principal that my nephew who can do a crossword in his sleep and has a library worth of books shouldn’t be failing eleventh grade!”
”I can’t at ten,” said Jess dumbly.
”What on earth are you talking about?”
”I can’t go to a meeting at ten, I have work,” said Jess.
This was true. Jess’ savings had run out quickly during his short stay in New York (living with Liz would do that to you) and he had realised, when returning to Luke’s, that the little paycheck he got wasn’t gonna cut it. Before returning to New York he had worked at a 24/7 corner store in Hartford for a bit, which caused him to miss a lot of school but honestly paid him worse than Luke’s once they found out he was a minor. So he had begrudingly applied to the only big Corp, in the nearby area, Walmart. He had gotten in, easily. Though Luke didn’t appreciate his talents, Jess was annoyingly good at minimum wage jobs. He picked up the gist of whatever place he was assigned to very quickly and had a good memory for instructions. His resumé was pretty impressive too, he had worked at pretty much every type of establishment during the last seven or so years. Liz was highly irresponsible with money, she either didn’t have a job at all or gave away her earnings to the wrong person. So Jess helped out a lot, always had.
”Ceasar works tomorrow morning,” said Luke, dumbfonded.
”I meant my other job,” said Jess. This wasn’t something he ever planned ro reveal to Luke, but he was willing to do anything to skip this meeting.
”Your other job?”
”Yeah, you pay me like crap so I got a second one.”
Luke crossed his arms. He sighed the deepest sigh Jess had ever heard.
”So you can’t go to school, but you can work two jobs, huh?”
”Sure!” said Jess. ”There’s a point to that, I make money. I worked a bunch last term too.”
Luke started pacing again.
”How much money can you possibly need, I pay for your necessities, don’t I? The money you get from the diner is more than enough to buy a book and a bottle of hairgel.”
”Well maybe I don’t want you to pay for my necessities, ever thought about that?” Jess spat back. ”It’s not that fun when you know no one wants you to live with them and that you are a huge burden on whoever you chose to be a parasite on.”
This was an insecurity Jess hadn’t ever expressed, but nothing could stop him when he got riled up enough.
”You’re not a…” said Luke, stopping in his tracks, unsure now. ”I’m your guardian, Jess. I pay for your stuff, you go to school. It’s great that you have a work ethic, God knows I was worried you’d follow in your mother’s footsteps, but right now I need your… big brain to focus on school. That’s how life works, Jess. Kids get an education, adults help with money.”
”That’s not how my life works, Luke!” Jess all but screamed now, ignoring Luke’s praise. ”No one ever helps me! I’ve always managed by myself, and that what i’ll continue to do!”
”Jess, I’ll help you!” said Luke, horrified at this display of emotion. ”I’ll help you Jess!”
He reached out to touch Jess’ arm, but Jess violently flinched. He was shaking now.
”That’s not true!” he whispered.
”Jess, look at me,” said Luke firmly, but Jess stared stubbornly at the ground.
”Ok, I’ll quit my jobs and go get straight A’s and when you kick me out, I have no money like last time? Sorry, but that’s not happening?” he hissed, mortified at his body that wouldn’t stop shaking. He didn’t want to think about those hungry nights in New York, but he did anyways. He was vaguely aware at Luke shielding him and angrily gesturing for everyone in the diner to leave.
”Jess, I didn’t want you to leave, ok?” Luke sighed, after a while. ”And it’s never gonna happen again, you’ll always have a place here! So erm… just don’t worry about that anymore, okay? Hey, look at me.”
And finally, Jess did. Big, angry brown looked into small, tired blue and Jess knew in his heart.
”I’ll always have a place here as long as I serve your shitty burgers and graduate this shitty high school and don’t kill the town princess in a car accident,” he corrected snarkily, trying his hardest to dry his tears.
”No,” Luke said, daring to smile a little. ”You’ll have a place regardless.”
Jess smiled tensely.
”I’m gonna sleep,” he announced.
”Are you gonna put on your death metal or will Lazy Hazy Crazy days suffice?”
”You’re so unfunny.”
*
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. Those days of soda and prezels and beers. Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. I wish that summer could always be here.
It was night time and Jess was alone in the appartment finishing up Lonesome dove. He could hear Luke and Lorelai making up downstairs. Jess supposed it had to happen eventually. I mean, who was he do deny the old hermit the one friend he had in town, really? Today had been a mortifying day where he couldn’t seem to stop words from spewing out of his mouth. He wondered momentarily if this was what it was like being Lorelai Gilmore. He shook his head. This couldn’t go on, he knew that. But so far, this whole telling people how you felt thing? Didn’t suck as much as he thought. As he fell asleep to the summer air breezing in from his window, the trumpet noise playing in the distance and the swans spalishing in the lake he loved so much, he felt oddly at peace.