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“She was my patient, Kai!” Amelia’s elbows propped her up on the kitchen island as she raged, Kai leaning on the counter across from her.
“I know she was, I’m not trying to diminish that. I just-” Kai tried to reason, rolling up the sleeves of their shirt as they let their back rest against the countertop, facing Amelia.
“Well you are! You didn’t take a scalpel and open her head up, I did.”
Her voice was raising and her logic was fleeing rapidly. It felt like little demons in the pit of dread lodged in her stomach were taking her organs and tying them into teeny, tiny, painful, knots.
“Amelia I know that-”
“Do you? You didn’t know her. She was 25, she had years left, she could’ve…” Amelia flailed her arms in the air, searching for words, “She didn’t have time to see what she could’ve been because I took her life! ”
Amelia's eyes started to fill with water as she gasped for air through her screaming, hands gripping the granite countertop.
“You could not fix the fact that she had an inoperable tumor,” Kai peeled their back from against the counter, leaning on the island across from Amelia. She couldn’t tell what they were thinking. “Please just take a second, and breathe. ”
They received no response, because she couldn’t speak. She could only sob and wheeze and gasp for air. Kai reached their hands across the table, palms up, inviting Amelia to place hers in theirs. She slowly intertwined her hands with theirs, with her eyes locked on the counter beneath her.
Her hands were still shaking rapidly and Kai felt like they could feel her heartbeat going 1,000 beats per minute.
“You did everything you could, the fact that you can confidently open someone’s brain is indescribably incredible. Everyday, you use medicine, your hands,” They took a second to squeeze her hands, feeling her shaking hands calm before they unlatched their right hand from hers. They placed that hand on her chest, rubbing tiny circles, “Your heart,” They lifted their hand towards her head, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “And this beautiful brain off yours, and you save people.”
“But it didn’t work this time, I couldn’t save her.”
“That’s because medicine hasn’t quite caught up yet. You do the hard part, Amelia, trying to help people before the medicine has caught up. You have saved more than your fair share of people, Amelia.” Kai had looped around the kitchen counter to take Amelia in their arms from behind. They started to ramble, their voice quieting into a gentle rasp.
“You don’t just save your patients, though, you save everyone around you, all the time. Your nieces and nephew worship you, and so does Mere. Owen, Teddy, and their kids. Your son. Me. I know you can’t save everyone, and that’s not fair, but you have given the warmest love and sweetest smile to everyone you meet, and you have saved them.”
Amelia turned around to face them, Kai now holding her waist in their hands, and she gave them the softest bend of her peach lips. Kai’s heart had felt like it lifted with her smile.
“I love you.” They said, thumbing circles on her waist.
“I love you.” Amelia answered back, leaning up for a little kiss before pulling away to rest her head on their shoulder.
~~~~~~~~~
After a few hours of doing whatever Amelia asked of them, like watching ‘The Breakfast Club’ (and then missing a majority of the plot because they were too busy making out), Kai had planted themselves on the corner cushion of their worn couch. Their callused fingers picked at their guitar as Amelia emerged from her hot shower, wearing a fresh set of PJs.
“All clean?” Their sultry voice lured Amelia in from across the room as they set their guitar on the coffee table.
“Mhm.” She mumbled back, settling down in the space between their legs. Kai didn’t speak in response, they just began to play with her freshly dried hair from behind as the two settled into comfortable silence.
It was a few, serene, minutes, before Amelia spoke again. “You know what my favorite thing about you is?” She inquired.
“My charming good looks?” They jokingly answered.
“I certainly appreciate that, but no.”
“What is it, then?” They asked, lowering their voice to a whisper.
“The way you care so deeply. You do so much to understand and help everyone around you. I have never met somebody who cares for humans, animals, and plants as much as you do.”
Neither talked for a few minutes, and Kai had dropped their hold on Amelia’s hair. Neither of them knew what to say next.
“You know how you said I saved you earlier?” Amelia questioned, breaking the silence.
“I recall it, yeah.” Kai responded.
“You saved me too,” Amelia paused, “That’s the point I’m trying to get at, I guess. I never knew someone could understand me this well until I met you. Hell, I didn’t even know I could understand somebody else like this. You breathed new life into my world, and I’m just so grateful for you.”
There was another moment of tense silence before Amelia felt a pressure on her shoulder. Kai’s face was now resting in the crook of her neck, giving her a sweet kiss and mumbling, “God, I love you.”
Amelia brought her hand up to Kai’s head, scrunching her fingers through their hair in a back-and-forth motion. “That was really cheesy, wasn’t it?”
“Perfect amount of cheesy, definitely.” They teased back, pressing another warm kiss against her chin.
Amelia giggled, allowing herself to relax into Kai’s embrace, feeling their light and warmth on every inch of her body. There were butterflies swarming her stomach, brain, and every vital organ. But the best part was, she had no doubt that the same butterflies were finding a home in Kai’s body as well, making them a perfect pair of butterfly filled lovers.
“I love you.” Amelia confessed again.
“I love you.” Kai said back, pressing one final kiss to Amelia’s cheek and squeezing her tightly to them.