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Morgana sighed as she closed the door behind her. How was it fair that she got such a terrible grade on her paper when she’d worked for days on it? And with finals coming soon she’d have little time to rewrite it for a better grade. Add that to the stress of living through the holidays without her mother and life was looking pretty bleak.
She moved further into the flat, dumping her bags on the way. Heedless of what might be in her way, she trudged over to the sofa. “Hey, Morgana,” a voice called up to her.
She looked down to see Merlin, her brother’s best friend, sitting just over from where she was going to drop herself. “Oh hi, Merlin. Didn’t see you there.”
“I could tell. Something bothering you?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Aside from the fact you nearly sat on me?”
“Good point.”
Her brother, Arthur, entered the room then. He had two mugs in his hand. “Oh hey, Morgana. What’s up?”
Merlin quirked his eyebrow at her as if to say, See what I mean? Morgana just rolled her eyes and sat further down on the sofa (not on Merlin). “Oh, you know, class. Christmas without my mum. A horrible grade on my term paper.”
“Oh, Morgana. The one you slaved over?” He handed her the mug. “You look like you need this worse than I do.” He looked into her face. “Unless you need something stronger?” She nodded; he took the mug back. “Stronger it is.” He handed the mug to Merlin and went back into the kitchen.
Merlin reached over to put his hand on hers. “I’m so sorry. Professor Edwin’s class?” She nodded. “I had that class last year, remember all the whining I did?”
“Ohh. Yes, yes I do.”
“Don’t let it ruin your holidays. If you like, I can look it over, explain where you went wrong.”
“You have time for that?”
“My semester’s pretty light.” Merlin was always doing things for others. His generosity had been known ever since she and Arthur had met him in primary school.
“Thank you, Merlin, you’re fantastic.”
“That’s what I hear.” He flashed his megawatt grin at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. He really was fantastic and she’d have to think of a nice way to thank him.
oo0Ô0oo
Morgana had just sat down in the library to crack open the latest reading for her Modern Philosophy seminar when a hand touched her shoulder. “Ah!” she yelped.
Several people looked up or turned to glare. She simply turned to see who had startled her. It was Merlin and he seemed apologetic. “Sorry,” he whispered. He pulled out the seat next to her and sat. After poking around in his bag, he pulled out a sheaf of papers. It turned out to be her paper, which he’d taken two days ago.
“You want to do this now? Here?” she whispered.
“Um . . .”
She packed up her things. “Come on, you can walk me back to mine.”
He nodded and put the paper back in his bag and got up. He helped her up and together they walked out the door and into the December weather.
“You finished fast,” she commented.
“Well, I didn’t have much else to do.”
“Okay, what’s so wrong?”
He launched into her take on Kant- she hated Kant -and explained how she’d taken his critique of Aristotle wrong. She explained how Kant was a supercilious German prick who’d taken Aristotle wrong. He totally agreed, but the professor hadn’t. By the time they’d gotten to her and Arthur’s flat, he had her convinced and she knew how to rewrite.
“You may as well come in,” she said.
He just grinned and followed her inside, happy to be out of the cold. “Thank you.”
“Would you like some hot chocolate?”
“Sure. That would be lovely.”
She went into the kitchen to make the cocoa. While the milk was heating in the microwave, she peeked out into the living room. Merlin was pacing and appeared to be talking to himself. He looked quite agitated and she wondered what could be bothering him. But then the milk was done and she mixed in the cocoa.
By the time she got to the living room, Merlin had stopped pacing and sat on the sofa. She handed him a mug. “Something bothering you?” she queried. “You seem agitated.”
He looked surprised but shook his head. “Nope.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a small bag of biscuits. “For you.”
She smiled. “Thank you!”
“Anytime.” He sipped his hot chocolate and gasped in pain. “Hot hot hot!”
She took his mug and sat it on the coffee table with hers. “You crazy?! Why do you think I sat mine to cool?”
“I burned my tongue.”
“Let me see.”
“No!”
“Merlin, stick out your tongue so I can see it.”
“Fine.” He stuck out his tongue.
She moved a little closer and she saw his eyes on her. “Hm, it is a bit red just there.” She pointed and he hastily backed up until he hit the arm of the couch.
“Oh, okay. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” He snatched his coat up from behind him. “I’d, ah, better go. I just remembered I have this, um, thing to prepare for class tomorrow.” He stood too fast and nearly stumbled over his feet. “I’ll, um, see you later. Bye!”
He ran to the door, threw her a wave and left. She was quite puzzled by his behavior. He acted like he’d been bit by a snake instead of suffering a burnt tongue. She shook her head and sipped at her chocolate. Boys usually acted weird around her, but Merlin had always treated her like a sister. Hmm.
oo0Ô0oo
The next day, Morgana walked into the Camelot Café and trudged to a table in front of its main window. It had just started to snow outside and she wanted something hot to drink. She dumped her bag on the table and got in line. After she ordered, she went back to the table and pulled out her packet of Epistemology readings.
Soon her drink was brought to her and she was in the middle of her first sip when a knock on the window next to her startled her. She missed her lip and fortunately got only a few drops on her sweater. Through the glass, Merlin waved madly at her. She rolled her eyes and watched him walk to the door and enter.
He walked right over to her table and plopped himself on the other chair. “Hey,” he said.
“You’re paying my dry cleaning bill,” she replied.
His eyes zeroed in on her stained sweater. “Oh sure. What are you having?”
“Latte.”
His nose wrinkled. “Too milky.” He stood and left to get in the queue.
While he waited, she pretended to read but really watched him. He seemed to be preoccupied with something and had to be asked twice for his order. When he turned to come back, she looked down at her book and pretended to read again.
Amazingly, he didn’t start talking when he sat, but handed her a blueberry muffin. Her favorite. “Thank you!” He nodded and looked out the window. He tapped his fingers on the table. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore and asked, “Is something bothering you?”
“No, I’m just thinking about Christmas.”
“What about it?”
“My mum’s changed her plans. Now she’s going to Ireland, to visit a man she met online. I could go, but . . .”
“You don’t want to be in the way.”
“Right. Talk about awkward . . .”
“So you’ll be alone?”
“Yeah.”
“How does that not bother you? That would bother me.”
His drink was brought over and he sipped it. “But Uther has you two. He’s less likely to make a decision like my mum did.”
“True.” She thought for a moment. “Hey, here’s a crazy idea . . .”
“That’s your scheming face?”
“I have a scheming face? Hey, don’t distract me.”
“Sorry.” But he didn’t look sorry as he flashed his adorkable grin at her.
“You could come to our house. It’s not like we don’t have the room.”
“Are you serious? But it’s Christmas. I couldn’t impose.”
“Would you shut up? You’ve basically been part of the family for about fifteen years. It won’t take much to convince Dad to let you come.”
He put his hands over hers. “Thank you so much. You saved me from the worst Christmas ever . . .”
“Oh shut up.” But she smiled and looked into his eyes. He did look grateful, and something else. But he looked away before she could figure out what that was
They sipped at their drinks for a few minutes, until her phone buzzed. She looked down at it to see a text from Gwen. “Crap! I lost track of time and Gwen’s waiting for me. Sorry, Merlin, I’ve got to go.”
“Oops. See you later.” He smiled and she smiled back.
“Ta-ta for now.”
oo0Ô0oo
Two days later, Morgana emerged from the humanities building. She looked up at the snow-laden sky and sighed. Somehow she’d forgotten her beanie that morning and had gotten an earache from walking in the cold. And now she’d have snow to contend with.
Just as she sighed, a familiar voice called out her name from behind her. Merlin had just come out of the building, but she didn’t remember him having class there the same time as her. “Hey,” he said, before jogging over, sliding on a patch of ice on the way. He flailed for a moment before coming to a stop just before he’d have hit her. As it was, he merely grabbed onto her for balance. “Sorry.”
She looked down at his hands, which he removed. “Always glad to aid a damsel in distress,” she replied.
“Hey.” He pretended to be offended.
“If the shoe fits . . .”
“Hmph.”
“Why were you here anyway? You don’t have class here today.”
“I had to see a professor about something.”
“Okay.”
She turned to walk away, but he stopped her with a hand on the arm. “Where’s your hat?”
“I don’t know. I thought it was in my bag . . .” She watched as he pulled the beanie from his head and fitted it onto hers. “Um, thanks?”
“You need it worse than I do. I like aiding damsels in distress too.”
“You sure about that? Your massive ears are going to freeze.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know girls find my ears adorable.”
She smiled. “Yeah they do.”
He grinned back at her and they walked together to the library where they chatted quietly until he had to leave for his next class. She waved goodbye with a smile on her face. The season hasn’t been that bad after all.
oo0Ô0oo
Three days later, Morgana was at Avalon Books looking for Christmas presents. All of her friends and family loved books and Avalon was her favorite bookshop. She’d already found a new book on Arthurian lore for Arthur, who collected such things. She decided to head to the cooking section to find something for Gwen. Bur as she rounded the end of the aisle, she bumped into someone.
“Oh, I’m sorry . . . Merlin?”
It was indeed him. “Oh, hey, Morgana. Fancy seeing you here.”
Morgana couldn’t believe this. She seemed to be running into him everywhere—home, the library, the coffee shop, class, and here . . . “Are you stalking me?”
“Stalking you? Noo, why would you think that?”
“You seem to turn up every place I’ve been the last few days.”
“That’s just coincidence.”
“Is it?”
He rolled his eyes but was smiling. “Believe it or not, yes.”
“You shopping for anyone in particular?”
“Um . . .” his eyes darted down to the book in her arms. “Arthur.” He held up the same book she’d found. “Rats.”
She laughed when she saw the one he held. “Come on, there’s another in the same section he doesn’t have yet.”
He smiled and followed her back the way she’d come. After that, he tagged along with her to the cooking section—Gwen was a friend of his too. They chose different books for her and he asked about what Uther might like. For him, they went over to the history section and eventually selected books for him as well.
“Anyone else to choose for?” Morgana asked.
Merlin smiled shyly and shook his head. “Nope, I’ve already got your present.”
“Okay then.”
They paid for their books and walked toward the door together. “I live close . . . do you want to come by for a few minutes? Just to warm up? I can make hot chocolate, um, warm chocolate,” he said
They left the shop. “How’s your tongue?”
“All better, see?” He stuck it out.
“I see. Yeah, I’ll come over.”
While they walked toward Merlin’s flat, they talked about Christmas at the Pendragon house. Merlin kind of already knew, since Arthur and Morgana had told him about it before, but he’d never been a guest for Christmas.
When they reached the flat, they discovered Merlin’s two flatmates missing, which was good. They were good guys but would tease him endlessly about having a girl over—with her there. He sat her down in the living room and moved to the kitchen to prepare the warm chocolate.
She got up and wandered the room, checking out the bookshelves full of books and DVDs. Typical stuff for guys, mostly, but there were a few books that weren’t texts and some DVDs without gratuitous action. She smiled and thought those must be Merlin’s. Oh, he was manly enough, but with philosophy for a study course, he was bound to be more thoughtful than average.
He reentered the room then, with two mugs in his hands. She noticed he’d put ice in once mug and nodded at it. “Yours?”
“Yeah.” He gave her a rueful half-smile.
“Don’t be embarrassed. Burning one’s tongue can be traumatic.”
“Ha-ha.” He stuck said tongue out at her. “Be careful with yours—it doesn’t have ice.”
“Thanks.”
They sat and talked about their finals for a few minutes. Then Morgana thought he might ask her if she’d help him wrap his presents, but he didn’t. He did ask her if she wanted to study together one day, since he’d had most of the same courses she was taking now. She agreed; having him guide her on what to study would be immensely helpful.
They agreed to meet on the first study day at Morgana and Arthur’s flat. The prat would be there too and make sure they took breaks now and then, since he liked to complain about his sister and friend being too serious about studying.
Morgana looked at the time on her phone and noticed it was now past dinner. Merlin tried to get her to stay, but she declined. She had things to do at home and was putting him off of his work too. So she waved “goodbye” and headed out the door.
oo0Ô0oo
The next few days passed in a whirl of classes, meetings and final assignments. She saw Merlin now and then across campus, sometimes with Arthur, sometimes not. They didn’t always talk a lot, but he always made sure to ask how she was doing, was she missing her mum, that kind of thing. She couldn’t figure out why he was being friendlier than normal, but finally decided that it was due to her mother’s death. She’d died earlier in the year and this would be Morgana’s first Christmas without her. He was the type of guy to remember something like that.
Finally their study day arrived. Merlin came over at 9 am to study and nick some breakfast. After that, the three of them settled onto the sofa and chairs in the living room. During the course of the day, they moved from there, to the floor, to the table, back to the floor.
First Merlin helped Morgana with the courses he’d already had. He pointed out several important things she hadn’t considered. Things not on the study guide she’d been given. In turn, she was able to help him consider things for his courses he hadn’t thought of. And Arthur just studied—not only for his business courses, but them as well. And he smiled to himself.
They did remember to eat now and then, and took other short breaks. “All studying and no play makes for dull friends,” Arthur would say, so they took Wii breaks too. And by 8 pm they declared themselves done for the day. After a Mario Kart binge, Merlin packed up his things and waved goodbye.
Arthur flopped himself down on the floor next to Morgana. “Well that was exhausting.”
“Studying always is.”
“Not what I was talking about.”
“What then?”
“Chaperoning you two.”
“Chaperoning? We didn’t need a chaperone.”
Arthur gave her an incredulous look. “You really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
Arthur stood up and began collecting dirty dishes from their various meals, muttering something that sounded like “can’t see the nose on her face.”
oo0Ô0oo
The next time they saw Merlin was the morning they were to leave for the Pendragon estate. Somehow they’d all survived finals and were now in that dizzy, post-stressed zone where everything is a relief- and no-one wanted to move. So when Merlin finally showed up at Morgana and Arthur’s flat, they were only just barely ready themselves.
Soon all their things were loaded into Arthur’s car and they were on their way. Morgana spent the two-hour long drive turned in the passenger seat to face Merlin in the back. But all three talked, joked and laughed together, though Morgana laughed the hardest when the joke was on her brother.
The two hours passed quickly and soon they made it to Pendragon House, which was really a mansion. George, the butler, met them at the door and escorted Merlin to his guest room, which was near Arthur’s and Morgana’s. And like everything in the mansion, it looked and felt opulent. As usual.
After he got settled he joined the other two down in the informal family room, where they always hung out at the mansion. They were in the middle of looking over the Christmas tree Uther had procured. It towered above them at about ten feet, so it fit with the vaulted ceilings. Uther came in a little later, with George behind him. Both carried large boxes—the ornaments. George put his down and left the room, only to re-enter with a stepladder.
“Welcome to Christmas with the Pendragons,” Morgana said with a laugh.
“Well, get to it,” Uther encouraged.
Arthur tackled the boxes and the three youngsters began circling the tree, ornaments in hand. Merlin marveled at the variety. There were expensive-looking glass balls alongside homemade pasta and paint affairs. In fact, he could chart Arthur and Morgana’s growth by the pictures pasted on the cute little things. He somehow thought everything would have been chosen by a professional decorator, so he was pleasantly surprised.
After that, they relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, mostly watching holiday movies, although there may have been a snowball fight. Arthur denied participating and heavily denied losing against Merlin and Morgana.
The days leading up to Christmas Eve passed much like the first. Arthur, Merlin and Morgana ate all meals with Uther, who wasn’t as intimidating as Merlin remembered. They’d watch holiday movies, bake treats or play out in the snow. They did go out to the nearby town too, sometimes shopping, sometimes just to enjoy the sights.
So by evening on Christmas Eve, the three young people were ready for some serious business. The Pendragon Christmas dinner was always semi-formal. Morgana had bought a slim-fitting emerald green mermaid dress with no sleeves. She wore her hair in a sort of half braid draping down over one shoulder. She looked great and she knew it as she stepped out of her room to see the two boys standing there.
Arthur looked surprised for a moment before he walked over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “You look great, sis,” he told her.
Merlin gave her a quick once-over before smiling slowly. “You look wonderful,” he said.
For some reason, that made Morgana shiver. “Thank you. You clean up pretty well too.”
He wore a charcoal suit with a navy blue shirt and dark tie. The outfit highlighted his eyes and sharp cheekbones well. The whole effect was rather yum. “Shall we?” he asked, holding out his arm to Morgana.
“Yes, let’s.”
Arthur looked mildly surprised as Morgana took his friend’s arm and led the way downstairs to the formal dining room. The room looked like a mini winter wonderland, which didn’t detract from the meal at all.
The four diners settled into excited chatter. Uther asked Merlin about school and his plans for afterward, which turned into a friendly discussion of school and career goals for everyone. By the time dessert rolled around, the philosophy majors found themselves jousting against the business majors, and winning.
The whole time, Morgana had a hard time taking her eyes off Merlin. Something just seemed different about him that night. She didn’t think it was because he looked great, though he did. It wasn’t even that she’d caught him looking back at her more than a few times either. He just . . . felt different.
As they finished, Morgana reminded everyone to meet in the family room to participate in their tradition of opening a present before bed. Arthur and Uther just laughed while Merlin looked puzzled. When he asked why they laughed, Morgana replied, “Because traditional dress for this is pyjamas.”
“Oh,” he said, then started chuckling. He offered his arm to Morgana again and escorted her back upstairs with Arthur. They separated to change into their pyjamas and get ready for bed.
Morgana changed her clothes then sat on her bed to think. She thought about what had preoccupied her at dinner—Merlin. And now that she thought about it, had it really been just since dinner? Hadn’t he been niggling her before that? All month? She’d joked that he’d been stalking her, but what if it had been something else? What if he had a different reason? Arthur had said he was chaperoning, did that mean Merlin . . . oh boy.
She’d known him so long and he was like a second brother to her. How did she not see this? Her courses were all about observing human nature and she’d missed this. But then again, she’d been preoccupied by her mother’s death and . . . oh. She was an idiot.
Now the question was, how did she feel about him? He was sweet, kind, loyal, generous, and gorgeous besides. What wasn’t to like? And he’s been there for her, cheering her up . . . maybe, just, maybe . . .
She smiled and pulled a package from a shopping bag. Running into Merlin at the bookstore had meant she couldn’t purchase something for him there. So she’d gone out here and found a book she knew he’d love. But just maybe she’d give him something else he wanted too.
Morgana left her room after that, heading back down to the family room. She had to wait a little while for the boys and Uther to come down, but not long. They all sat down in front of the tree and the packages waiting under it.
“Arthur, explain the rules,” Uther said.
“Okay Merlin, here’s how it is. You get to pick one with your name on it and open it tonight. The rest we save until after breakfast tomorrow.”
“Sounds good to me,” Merlin replied. He flashed a smile at Morgana, which she now realized was one he reserved just for her.
“Guest goes first,” she told him.
Merlin picked a square package from under the tree. “Hmm, from the prat.” Uther chuckled. He unwrapped it to find a gorgeous, black-leather watch. “I don’t even want to know how much this cost.”
“No, you don’t,” Arthur replied. “Okay Dad, your turn.”
Uther picked his present from Morgana and fussed over it quite a bit. He thanked her with a kiss on the cheek, which surprised Morgana. He wasn’t usually demonstrative.
“Arthur, hurry up,” she told her brother.
Arthur chose his present from Uther, which turned out to be a bright red sweater with the Pendragon coat of arms embroidered near the shoulder—a golden dragon. Morgana had to admit the old man had taste.
Finally, finally Morgana got her turn. She picked up a box that was small, flat and from Merlin. Hmmm. She tore off the wrapping and found a jewelry box. She looked up at Merlin and found him wearing that same soft smile. She lifted the lid to find a heart-shaped pendant made out of a beautifully cut green stone—an emerald. It was attached to a delicate gold chain. She gasped and looked up at Merlin.
“It’s your birthstone . . .” he started.
She crawled over to him and threw her arms around his shoulders. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear. She felt him shiver just before she pulled away. Uther and Arthur just stared at her. “What? I really like it.” Merlin smiled that soft smile at her again and that’s when she knew. She knew absolutely that she was in love with him, and if she had her way, he’d know before the night was through.
They stayed and chatted around the tree for several more minutes, admiring each other’s gifts and other nonsense. After a few more minutes, Merlin excused himself. Morgana watched him walk not toward the staircase, but the front door. She excused herself and walked away in the same direction Merlin had. She didn’t see the look the two men exchanged or she might have stayed to yell at them.
By the time Morgana stole out into the hall, Merlin had dressed himself in his coat and boots. He then opened the door and stepped outside without seeing her behind him.
She hurried over to the coat closet and donned her coat and boots. When she finished, she opened the door quietly and stepped outside, closing it behind her. Merlin stood there a few steps in front of her, staring out at the snow-covered landscape. But he turned when he heard the door close. “Morgana,” he said, sounding surprised.
“Merlin. What are you doing out here in the cold?”
“Oh, I like to stand outside sometimes and watch the stars sparkle or the snow fall in the diffused moonlight . . .”
“Is that really why you came out here?”
“Yes and no.”
She stepped closer. “And what does the ‘no’ part mean?”
“I didn’t get what I really wanted.”
“And what is it you really want?”
His laugh was without amusement. “You really don’t see it.” He stood there a moment, just breathing and looking into her eyes.
She put her hand over his mouth before he could speak. “No, I think I do.” She pushed herself onto her tiptoes to press their lips together. It took him a second or too to catch up to what she was doing, but once he did, he pressed back and moved his hands to hold her waist.
She wrapped her gloved hands around his neck as they pulled apart to breathe. As they rested their foreheads together, he spoke again. “I’ve been in love with you for a few years. But you’re my best friend’s sister . . . there are sort of unwritten rules about dating there.” He paused a moment to think. “But earlier this year, after your mum . . . we saw how you were. And he told me he’s known, all this time, how I’ve felt. He told me to go for it! I didn’t believe it. But he told me that if anyone could bring you around, it was me. He said he trusted me to do right by you. It took me so long to act, but I’m glad I did.”
“Or I could just be that dense.” She let her head fall.
He lifted her chin. “No, you’re not. You’re brilliant and I’ll prove it.” He then bent his head to press their lips together firmly. She melded herself closer to him and just held on as the kiss continued. Finally she could take the cold no longer and shivered. He broke them apart to say, “Let’s continue this inside, shall we?”
She nodded. He smiled and took her hand, leading her to the door, where they went inside. Then they took off their outerwear and put it away, all while sneaking glances at each other. Just as he’d taken her hand to lead her to the staircase, Arthur and Uther came around the corner.
“Ah ha! I knew it!” Arthur said when he spotted their interlocked hands.
“Damn,” Uther said with a smile.
“You owe me fifty pounds,” Arthur crowed.
“What’s this?” Morgana asked with a note of danger in her tone.
Arthur looked a little frightened. “We had a bet about when you two would get together. I thought it would be before Christmas and Dad thought it would be after.”
Merlin and Morgana exchanged a glance then broke into laughter. Arthur and Uther looked puzzled but relieved. “It’s ten minutes to midnight,” Merlin observed. He glared at his friend then towed Morgana past the two men and up the staircase.
When they got to Merlin’s door, he quirked his head to ask her to come in. She nodded and they went inside, locking the door behind them. He leaned down and gave her a brief but sweet kiss then led her to the room’s sofa.
“What made you realize how I felt?” he asked.
“It was your smile,” she replied. “I realized you have this one smile that’s just for me.” He smiled at her just then, that particular smile. “That’s the one!” She leaned forward and kissed it off of his face.
“You’re beautiful.”
She blushed. “Thank you. I also thought about how much you’ve been looking after me since my mum died, especially this past month . . . you have to be the sweetest stalker ever.”
“Whatever you say.” He cupped her face in his hand. “When did you know you felt the same?”
“Would you believe it took me until dinner tonight? Afterward I just sat on my bed and thought. And I realized that you’ve always been there for me, even before this year. You’ve always gone above and beyond for me, more than Arthur has. And—” here she blushed, “my feelings for you are definitely not sisterly.”
He leaned forward again, pushing their lips together more forcefully than he’s done before. She felt something burst inside her and pushed forward until she was on his lap. She slid her hands into his hair to hold on as he parted her lips with his and dived inside.
Out in the hall, the grandfather clock began chiming. It chimed twelve times before they broke apart. “Now you’ve got what you’ve wanted?” He nodded. “Happy Christmas, Merlin.”
They stayed close and Merlin whispered, “Happy Christmas, Morgana.”
He favored her with another desperate, eager kiss. They both knew that no matter what passed the rest of the day, they had both received their fondest Christmas wish.