Chapter Text
i don’t like parties. i realized that when i was seven. honestly, i think one of the defining moments for me as an introvert was almost throwing up when i had to speak with all of my extended relatives at a family reunion. but now, i feel like i’m going to be missing out if i don’t go to this one. reasonably, i know that, including this, there’s only two more and then i get to move away and never go to another one ever again. somehow, that doesn’t make me feel any better.
“…my roots are growing out.” i havent spent too much of my time working on my appearance recently, and i guess it shows. “oh, well”, i sigh. there’s nothing i can do about it right now, and its not like anyone is going to be sober enough to care.
zoe and mateo might be the coolest people i know, and somehow they think of me like that too, since they’ve begged me to come to their yacht party tonight. they’re, like, rich rich. their parents are ceos in some other country and so they’re always out of town. that would make me really sad, but they don’t ever seem bothered. zoe wants me to be there so she can take pictures with the rest of the swim team, but i think mateo has some weird thing for me.
“mom? MOM. MA.” i groaned. “MOM, CAN YOU COME HERE?”
i hear my mom shuffling down the hall.
she looks pissed. “what? i’m at book club. be fast.”
“…nevermind. sorry. love you.”
i was going to ask her about what i should wear, but now that she’s mad i don't really want to mention that i’m going out at all.
the bright poppy-red t-shirt and jean shorts i settled on were just big enough to cover up the bikini i was concealing underneath. i grabbed my tote bag and threw in my house key, then opened up my window. some fresh air for a couple hours would be good for me, i think. right as i’m about to climb over the windowsill, i jump back and write a note to my mom.
mom,
be back late
freya needs help with homework
don’t wait up for me
love you,
-tessa
i haven’t actually talked to freya in nine years, but my mom doesn’t know that. thank god for that girl, she’s been my scapegoat for anything and everything i’ve needed to hide for a while now. i guess my mom just thinks freya always wants to meet at her house, but i won’t correct her if its helping me lie.
i tape the note to the outside of my door, then crawl out of my window, onto the thick branch right outside, then try not to break an ankle as i climb down the tree. as i hop on my bike and start to pedal down the street to the beach, my stomach twists. i don’t like thinking about freya, really. nothing happened between us except growing apart, but now that she’s on my mind, part of me wants to see her tonight.
—————
climbing up the stairs onto the boat made me realize how much damage sitting hunched over a desk all day will do to your back. the sun was setting outside and the whole boat was filled with pulsating music and vibrant lights. it smelled like saltwater and a little like weed. i stood in the entryway for a couple seconds, scanning the room, until i saw zoe and some other girls from my swim team. everyone’s in just their swimsuits, drinks in hand. i guess i’m late. sighing, i pull off my shirt and put it into my tote bag, tossing the whole thing onto the dock by my bike and sandals. i kept my shorts on, which i guess kind of made me stand out. i would much rather keep my ass covered and look a little weird than have everything showing and have some guy try to touch me, though. while i was turned around tossing my tote bag overboard, zoe came up to me and scared me half to death.
she gave me a big hug, and when she let go she held onto my shoulders with one of the biggest smiles i’ve ever seen. “TESSA! i’m so glad you’re here! i was kinda starting to think you wouldn’t come. here, take my drink. i can get another one.”
”oh, no i’m… never mind. thanks, zoe.”
i took a sip of whatever she gave me. i think it was just a cup full of straight vodka with a little fruit punch in it, but i couldn’t care less. i just kept drinking it in the hope that it would make the party go by faster.
the chatter from the circle i was in barely included me, so i just listened. fine with me. my ears perked up when i heard zoe complaining about how her boyfriend was there, but hanging out with another girl. she pointed over at him, and alas, he was talking with a blond haired girl wearing a bright green bikini, looking down toward her chest.
“HEY, FUCK YOU!” zoe yelled. hunter looked up, and the girl in the green turned around all surprised. she was holding a lit blunt, which i then realized was probably what hunter had been looking at. i think zoe might have been too drunk to notice that, though. the girl looked familiar, and aside from her initial shock she seemed completely unfazed by zoe shouting. she handed the blunt to hunter, smiling, then ran over to me and grabbed my hand, leading me onto the side of the boat, right against the railing. i was a little bit too out of it to know what was happening, and i didn’t even realize who it was until she sat us both down with our legs hanging off the edge, leaning on the metal guard rail.
”been a while”, the blonde girl said.
oh. OH.
“freya, you look so…”
she laughed. ”different? yea, well, i dyed my hair and finally hit that sweet old 5’5 that the doctor promised.”
“well, i was going to say bad.” i laughed, too. freya blinked, then shoved me, laughing even harder than before. i followed her lead.
“as mean as ever, tess.” freya said, wiping a tear from her eye.
i took another sip of my mystery drink. talking to freya felt so easy still, like no time had passed at all, even though it had been years since we last talked.
“yeah, well, you’re an easy target.” i smirked.
”man, whatever. you just had such a hard time living without me that now you don’t even know how to treat your best friend. i get it.” she did a sarcastic sigh, just like how she’s done it since she was little. some things never change.
i smiled, looking down at my feet hanging off the edge. i didn't realize how much i missed her until today. but now that she’s right next to me, i don't think i can go without her again. she makes me feel like everything is brighter.
when i look back up at her, she’s staring at me with a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. she has an idea, i know. her tell for that hasn’t changed since elementary school. by the look of it, it’s something mischievous, too. i raise my eyebrow, and she began her proposal.
”what do you think about leaving the party?”
”…to do what, exactly?”
her smile widened, and that only made me more sure that she wasn’t going to tell me. instead, she dragged me up by both of my hands and led me off the boat, onto the dock to grab my things, and then onto the beach to where her van was. she helped me strap my bike to the back, and then we hopped into the front seats. we stared at each other for a minute, some kind of tension lingering, but quickly broke eye contact as freya put the car into reverse.
”so… how come i never see you at school?”
i shrug. ”different friend groups, i guess.”
freya nods, and stops talking after that, just quietly humming as i gazed out the window at the passing houses and quiet night life of the town.