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It's been more than a few-weeks now. After being stranded on Peridea, in a whole new galaxy, with nothing to do. Nothing but surviving and meditating, if Ahsoka had any say in it. Easy to say for the experienced non-jedi-jedi that grew up with the traditional values and everything it encompassed, like for example patience for meditation. Sabine on the other hand lacks this patience for meditation, much to the chagrin of her Togruta master.
“The trick is to open your mind to your surroundings, and let the Force flow through you.”
“...Open your mind, what does that even mean…” Sabine is clearly annoyed at her own inability to connect to the Force. After weeks of first using it to save herself she hasn't been able to properly link with it again. The Mandalorian does feel like something is different, like she has the potential to see more. She has spurts of moments where she can feel her master's patience – or impatience more often than not – or when the Noti share a collective evening and their elated emotions bubble right through to her.
There is something that is more easy to feel than the other things, though. Or maybe someone, she isn’t sure yet.
The Togruta clears her throat. Bringing her padawan back to the present.
“Got it, sorry, concentrate. I am concentrating.” Sabine's brows furrow in close thought, demanding her mind to grasp onto anything around her. She tries to connect to her master’s signature, she knows it's possible – has done it before she even actively used the Force – after all.
A quick spark of exasperation reaches the younger woman, and then it's nothing again. The Togruta opposite her sighs. “Sabine, you can't force the Force.”
“Seems pretty ironic to me…”, the mumbled reply falls short and gets ignored.
Ahsoka takes a seat across from her apprentice, placing a supporting hand on her shoulder. “When you used the Force for the first time it was out of instinct. The instinctual use to protect. But now you need to learn to access the Force even without being in immediate danger.”
Sabine runs a hand through her short hair. “It's not like I am not trying. It just feels like…” A beat passes. She starts waving her arms around to underline her words. “I don't know. It feels like I can't get a grip on it. But at the same time everything is too much and too loud?”
Ahsoka removes her hand from the younger woman's shoulder and instead holds her chin in thought to reflect on what she said. “Can you describe it more?”
“It's–it's like there is nothing around me besides a light breeze from time to time. But then there is this almost beacon-like- something somewhere out there, but that too is incredibly inconsistent.”
“Something? Or…someone?" The amused expression on her master's face is not lost on Sabine, but she decides to ignore it.
Instead she flops back to lie down, throwing her arms over her eyes. Sabine thinks back to the times she has felt this beacon-like-calling of the Force and everytime it brought her to cross paths with the blonde mercenary that had stabbed her. They would still fight, but something was off about the blonde, as she would keep their interactions and injuries to a minimum. Almost like Shin was holding back, like she didn't actually want to hurt the Mandalorian anymore.
A sigh escapes her lips. “I don't know, Ahsoka. I barely understand the Force, how am I supposed to understand some weird calling that coincidentally brings me back to Shin everytime.”
“It could be the Force telling you something.”
“I should hate her. She stabbed me.”
“Well, I have heard somewhere that Mandalorians tend to show their affection through fighting, do they not?”
Sabine removes her arms from over her eyes to glare at the other woman. “You are enjoying this way too much.”
The Togruta just shrugs her shoulders and smiles sadly. “I think Shin could be just as lost and confused as you feel on this strange planet. Probably even more so with the disappearance of her master.”
It's true. The last time either of them has seen Baylan was when Ahsoka first landed on Peridea and fought him. He has never been with any of the Raider groups since then, let alone with Shin. Thoughts of her own past abandonments climb up Sabine's back and settle uncomfortably in her throat. Back when Ezra had first vanished, then when her whole family died because of her, and when her adopted family didn't seem to have time for her anymore; too occupied with their own lives. How must the blonde feel with the added strain of being all alone, if it wasn't for the Raiders.
A yelp escapes Sabine's mouth as a towel lands on her face, obscuring her view and ripping her from her spiraling thoughts.
The Togruta leans over her, back to her familiar pose of crossed arms above her chest. “That's enough meditation training for today. I actually think we might be getting short on some supplies. It would be great if you could take care of that.”
A huff that's equal parts amusement and relief pushes past Sabine's lips. “That should be alot easier than meditating at least.”
—--------
Sabine sits atop her dark Howler, Falin, riding along the wide plane of the new planet. The colorful beskar armor dorns her body, the helmet hanging at Falin’s side. She doesn't think they actually need any new food until in a few days, Ahsoka just wanted her to get out of there to clear her mind without saying it, and Sabine is thankful for that.
She closes her eyes and lets the presence of nature wash over her. The soft wind ruffles her hair and kisses her cheeks. A few sunrays break through, in between the clouds gathering above her, warming the cold air.
Then, a wave of something grabs at Sabine, tingling along her skin and sending shivers over her back. It urges her to steer Falin into the direction of the woods close by as a sense of familiarity stabs at the back of her head.
The Howler lifts his head to sniff the air as he takes more sure steps even without Sabine's guidance.
“Can you feel it too?” Falin’s trots carry her to the edge of the woods and when they reach the first trees, Sabine dismounts the Howler to better navigate through the forest. Following the sound of softly flowing water, she easily finds a clearing, and the source of the waves in the Force calling to her.
Once again, Shin Hati is at the end of it. Kneeling and bent over at the riverbank, parts of her clothes discarded, her muscular back visible. The only thing still keeping her from being completely naked from the waist up are her chest bindings. Her body seems stiff and one arm reaches from her middle towards the water in repeated motions. A hand turning from clean to bloody over again.
Sabine can't tear her eyes away. A deep thrumming ripples through her head, a pull that’s becoming stronger. The Force seems to have brought her to Shin, again .
Falin takes an unsure step behind her and a twig breaks beneath his weight. This alerts the kneeling blonde, who snaps her head in the direction of the sound and calls her lightsaber into her right hand to defend herself if necessary.
In reaction, Sabine raises her hands, also surprised. Her eyes jump down to the wound on the blonde's abdomen, tacking in a stick lodged in her flesh, drawing fresh blood every few seconds. She barely has time to question the woman's state before a by now familiar orange lightsaber blade is drawn and Shin stands up – readies herself into a fighting stance.
A sudden ball of worry drops in the Mandalorian's stomach. Not for her own safety, but rather for the blonde's. She slowly lets her hands fall back against her side, hoping to prevent any rash actions towards her. “I don't think you are in any state to fight right now.”
“I have been in worse conditions, I can still beat you.” Shin shifts her weight from one foot to the other and tries not to wince at the pain shooting through her body.
Sabine cocks her head to the side, feeling a new wave of the beacon-like-energy. It almost feels like… “You– are you lying? You are lying!” The energy turns into a wall of shock.
“No?!” A beat passes as Shin's incredulous look is locked on her. “Now raise your lightsaber or get out of here.”
Sabine sighs and reaches for the hilt at her belt. Behind herself she can hear Falin sniffing the air again and then moving away into the woods. The Mandalorian silently curses the Howler for leaving her once again .
She turns her attention back to the blonde and raises her own lightsaber, not yet ignited, to point at Shin's wound. “Will you at least let me patch that up first? To make it fair?”
“I don't need you to make it fair .” The blonde takes a few self assured steps forward ready to strike. Sabine meets her in the middle, ignites her saber and hits her own blade against Shin's, effectively smacking it out of pale hands, thanks to the blonde's weakened and wet grip. Both women follow the falling hilt with their eyes.
“Huh, didn't think that would work.”, Sabine mumbles to herself. Before she has the chance to return her attention to the other woman, she is suddenly tackled to the ground, losing her own grip on her lightsaber.
They collide with the ground and Shin swiftly straddles her waist and holds her arms down at the wrists above a purple haired head. Sabine feels the air being knocked out of her lungs but she isn't sure if it's because of the hard ground beneath her or because of the pretty pale eyes gazing down at her.
Out of her peripheral vision, Sabine can see Falin stepping back into the clearing. He keeps sniffing the air like he is searching for something. And something he finds. A white Howler approaches Falin from behind, his head low and ears pulled back to his head, before he jumps and tackles his opposite to the ground; mirroring the two women.
Sabine bucks up in panic for his well being, not noticing the subtle yelp coming from Shin at the motion.
The white Howler is standing above Falin, pinning him down. But they aren't growling or barking at each other. Rather they begin to sniff at each other, until Falin licks a wet kiss along the other Howlers snout. The white one takes a beat to process what just happened and then wags his tail in happy excitement and returns the favour.
Falin wiggles out from underneath the other one and together they start jumping around and all over, letting cheerful barks fill the air.
Both Shin and Sabine stop in their struggle and stare wide-eyed at the scene before them.
Shin is the first to break out of her surprise. “What just happened…?” The Howlers have stopped their wild jumping and are instead back to sniffing at the other, followed by Falin pressing his big head against the white one's neck in what seems like a fond nuzzle.
Sabine lets out a breath she hasn't realized she has been holding; she can't help the smile at the adorable display of affection. “Huh, I think they like each other.”
The blonde woman on top of her lets go of the other’s wrists and raises up on her knees. “Mani, get back here.” The sudden giggle coming from the Mandalorian under her, makes her turn her head back around. “What?” Cocking her head in confusion.
A big grin stretches across the purple haired woman's face. “Nothing, I just didn't expect you to name your Howler.”
Shin crosses her arms over her chest and actually pouts. “Well–that's–I–”
The white Howler, Mani, trots over, with Falin close behind. They sit down besides the women and expectantly look at their master's.
Sabine leans up, supporting herself on one arm, looking from Shin's reddening face to the wound on the blonde's abdomen.
There it is again, that wave of prodding something in her mind. It's so much louder and more prominent now, until it isn't and everything is silent again. Sabine knows she isn't imagining things. And she now knows that it's coming from Shin. The only thing she doesn't understand is why and how she feels it so clearly in one moment and then not at all in the next. And why it is so easy to feel in the first place.
Mani jumps forward to press a swiping tongue against Shin's head in an interrupting manner. The blonde pushes at his big head to stop him from getting slobber all over her. “Okay, okay, enough. I am in a fight right now.”
Both Howler's respond with uncomfortable whines and barks. Each pressing close to their respective master.
One of Sabine's hands finds its way into her Howler's ruff fur, slightly scratching the spot beneath her fingertips. “I don't think they want us to fight.”
Shin, having come to the same conclusion, sighs, and then winces; a reminder of the stick still lodged in her side.
The older woman frowns in worry. “Will you let me patch you up now?”
Before the blonde can refuse the offer again, Mani huffs a big puff of air in her face, blowing blonde hair all over. That very effectively shuts the younger woman up. She practically grumbles her next word. “...fine.”
Sabine pushes down the thought that Shin gave in a little too easily for acting like her enemy whenever they meet. And the non-threatening energy around them, and in the Force, just supports that.
The following chuckle that slips past Sabine's lips travels through the blonde's veins and settles warm in her bones. She is glad her face is hidden behind her tresses right now because she is certain the warmth she is feeling is also evident in her cheeks. Urging down a more and more familiar rising want in her stomach.
Instead, she clambers down from the purple haired woman and rearranges her hair, tucking longer strands behind her ears. Mani joins her and leans his head against Shin’s. She mirrors his position and lifts one hand to scratch under his chin. As they pull apart again a few seconds later, they stare into each other's eyes; a silent exchange taking place.
The Mandalorian stays rooted to the ground, her brown eyes locked on the blonde, gaze running over the remarkable bone structure. Committing it to memory; right now her face isn't scrunched up in anger, it isn't scowling or bored. Just relaxed. And so much younger.
The image of a soft Shin Hati cuddling with her Howler is ingrained in her mind and creating little flutters in her stomach.
The Mandalorian internally berates herself. Now is not the time to find her supposed enemy attractive. Or whatever they are. Sabine isn't sure where they stand right now. Especially after offering to patch her up. But also after all the times their fights have not ended with one of them dead or even half as badly bruised and beaten as she would expect.
Finally snapping out of her mind, Sabine rises back to her feet to collect her bag with bacta patches inside and some water from the river to clean the wound. As soon as she has grabbed everything she needs, she drops down in front of the blonde again.
Mani, wanting to give them some space, trots away towards the treeline, Falin following close behind. Shin straightens her back to give Sabine better access to the injury and she suppresses a hiss as the other woman presses a wet piece of cloth against the damaged skin.
Now that Sabine has a better view at the wound, she realizes that the stick has an entry and an exit point close to each other and that it must have belonged to an arrow; Shin has already broken off pieces with the intention of removing it.
“I need to pull this out for the bacta to be able to heal you.” At Shin’s lack of a verbal response, Sabine looks up at pale eyes that are already intently watching her every move. The blonde woman nods after a short moment, and Sabine accepts that she is not getting a more clear answer.
She still feels the need to somehow support and calm the other woman down. Thinking back to the meditation lessons with Ahsoka, she reaches out towards the warm spot in front of her through the Force. Then she grabs a hold of the stick, sends a wave of what she hopes are soothing waves towards Shin and pulls; hard.
Inside Shin's mind, a very confusing mix of emotions tumbles together. The sudden bit of subtle calm from Sabine Wren's Force signature, then the pain of the stick gliding out of her abdomen, followed by Sabine’s rue at hurting her more and her own pained gasp.
Not even a second passes for Shin to catch her breath before the purple haired woman presses a fresh bacta patch to her stomach, trying not to let her fingers linger against the clammy skin while pressing the patch down properly.
Wanting to quickly divert her own wandering mind, Shin stumbles for words. “W–why do you have those with you?”
Meanwhile, Sabine reaches for a piece of cloth in her bag and starts to tie it around Shin's middle for an added layer of protection. She assumes that the purple color is probably not one the blonde would appreciate in any other situation, but right now she is not really allowed to be picky.
“The bacta patches? Well you never know when you might need them, like for example in case someone stabs you the first time you meet.” The older woman raises her gaze and smirks playfully at Shin.
Not able to suppress the growing nervousness, the blonde snaps her head to the side, averting her eyes from those intense brown pools. Her voice is weaker than she would like when she talks. “You drew your lightsaber first.”
“Your droids attacked me and stole the map. Can you really blame me?”
Shin draws in a pained breath and thinks Sabine's words over. “...No.”
Somewhere from between the trees, Mani and Falin come trotting over, each carrying their master’s lightsaber hilts in their snouts. They drop them close to the two women and then lay down leaning against each other – Falin draping his head over Mani’s – exhaling happy sighs.
Sabine smiles to herself at the sight. “What happened anyways? Weren't you with those Raiders?”
A wave of a shudder creeps over Shin's back. “We…had a difference of opinions. So we parted ways.”
“What kind?”
“...I wasn't relentless enough.”
“And they just shot at you?” She asks incredulously.
“Clearly.” Before the Mandalorian can throw in her own remarke again she continues. “It's done now, so let's not dwell on the past.” In the same beat the blonde raises to her feet and calls her lightsaber into her hand, clipping it back to her belt. Then she starts collecting her clothes and redressing herself. Putting on the black undershirt and throwing the brown cape over her shoulders, neglecting the gray tunic – with the too many clips at the back – for now.
Sabine feels the ripples again. Unsure. Uneven. And then gone again. Is it her own fresh connection to the Force that makes it break apart or does it have something to do with the mysterious blonde woman before her?
To test her theory, the Mandalorian holds out her hand towards her own lightsaber and wills it to move. Her brows furrow in concentration.
Suddenly, the hilt starts to wiggle. Sabine lets out an excited gasp and tries to move it around more. Another second passes and it lifts into the air and flies towards… Shin ?
She looks around until her eyes land on Shin's; and on her hand that imitates the movements until the floating lightsaber connects to her palm.
Sabine’s excitement quickly fades and is replaced by disappointment. The blonde woman moves back towards the older one and throws the lightsaber into her lap.
“Quit playing around and get out of here.”
The Mandalorian huffs and opens her mouth, but is interrupted by everyone's raised heads that snap into the same direction. Her eyes follow their path but she sees and feels nothing.
The Howlers get up from their position on the ground and start pacing uneasily. Mani comes up behind Shin and starts to growl in a low tone. The blonde quickly stashes her gloves, armor and tunic in a bag at the white Howler's side.
Before Sabine can even ask about what they are sensing, Shin turns her head and answers her unsaid question, “Raiders.” The Howler at her feet lowers his head in anticipation.
Falin falls into place next to his own master and nudges his head against her side. “Why are they–?”
“To finish the job.” Rushed steps carry Shin over to Sabine. “Go. Leave. If they see you here they have even more of a reason to kill both of us.” She uses her hands to push at the other woman's shoulder blades, turning her around to face the woods.
Much to her chagrin, Sabine doesn't move. Instead she turns back around to look into pale eyes. “And you think I will just leave you to fight them off on your own like this?”
That seems to startle Shin for a moment but she quickly regains her composure. “The last time they had the element of surprise, this time I know what to expect.”
“Wha–No. What even is your plan?”
Shin looks at her, and from this proximity Sabine notices that her pale eyes are actually green. The Force around her swells with warmth, followed by a sudden plunge of coldness and then nothingness again.
“What I always do. Survive.”
And the last thing Sabine sees is Shin's hand moving from one side to the other infront of her face before her world turns dark.
—-------
Slowly but surely her senses start to return and Sabine opens her eyes to take in her surroundings. Falin is lying next to her, looking out for any potential threats. A deep breath climbs into her lungs as she pushes up into a sitting position.
“What happened?” Bits and pieces rush through her mind until they get stuck on…, “Shin!” A sudden wave of worry settles in her stomach and she jumps to her legs and climbs onto Falin's back. “Where is she? Is this Di'kut seriously going to fight them alone?” Sabine presses her legs into the Howler’s side so he rises to his paws and starts moving. They follow the sounds of clattering metal and sizzling flesh towards a different clearing further away. The ground beneath Falin's big paws turns from simple dirt to small stones, indicating a change in their surroundings.
She urges Falin to be faster until they finally reach the opening and Sabine jumps from the Howler's back, ready to join any ongoing fight. Falin tumbles away deeper into the woods again. In the distance she sees a wide opening that stretches across a bigger part of the clearing; there are no trees anymore, just a wide open space and a cliff that breaks it apart.
Several Raiders in their red armor are standing around Shin with her orange lightsaber raised high in front of her; back towards the cliff. Sabine counts five Raiders, and three more lying on the ground. Presumably dead. Another is about to join them on the ground as the blonde pushes the group away with the Force and sends her lightsaber in an arch after them, slicing one of them in half.
While the blade soars back through the air, another hidden Raider jumps up from the bushes, seeing his chance. At the same time Shin snaps her hand around to hold the approaching Raider in place. Finally Sabine's own brain jumps into action. She reaches for her blasters at her hips and sends several shots flying through the air, hitting the once hidden Raider square in the chest. Before he can drop to the ground, growling creatures come up behind him to pull him back into the shadows. Sabine recognises the white fur of Shin's Howler, glad that he is assisting his master, and the darker fur of Falin. So that's where he went off to .
All the while another blaster shot hits a different Raider between the shoulder blades making him crumble to the floor. Three down, three to go. Sabine likes those odds a lot better.
What she doesn't like however, is that the attention is now effectively on her. Maybe thinking the colourful Mandalorian would be the easier target, the three Raiders that are left rush towards her, weapons raised high in the air.
At the other end of the clearing Shin's lightsaber returns to her hand. Her wide eyes stare at the stubborn woman who didn't listen to get away while she could, and Shin feels a deep pulsing in her bones and a sliver of fear down her back. Even as she hears more blaster shots being fired and the Raiders already stumbling backwards on their feet, she lifts her arm and pulls with too much energy rushing through her veins; the Raiders come flying towards her. To prevent them from crashing into her she steps to the side. But what Shin has not considered is the possibility of at least one of the Raiders flailing his arms and grabbing onto her cloak, taking her over the cliffs edge with them.
—---
The moment one of the Raiders gets a hold of Shin, a sinking feeling drops like a stone in Sabine's stomach. Her eyes widen as they connect with Shin's own surprised gaze, and something sparks within the Mandalorian.
Several things crash into Sabine in the following second. First, she realizes what is happening. Shin is falling; is going to fall to her death if Sabine doesn't do something. Second, her legs move forward and her hand reaches out towards the falling form of Shin Hati. Third, she feels an immense wave of the Force wash over her, flowing through her whole body. Fourth, she yells out to her, “NO!”
She can feel it, in that moment she can feel everything around her. The Force, so open, so easy to see. Her mind focused on one thing only. And right then Shin isn't falling anymore. She is floating in place just a few meters below the cliff's edge, held up by Sabine's outstretched arm. Energy is buzzing through the Mandalorian's veins at the useage and the understanding of what she is doing. She finds pale green eyes across the distance. “I got you!”
A gust of air hits her face and the Mandalorian isn't sure if the sudden strong wind is coming from nature itself or if it is an effect of the Force.
But now isn't the time to dwell on that. First she needs to get Shin back up to safety. So she instead focuses her mind on the singular thought of pulling. The longer she feels the connection thrumming inside her, the harder it gets to hold on. Panic settles low in her stomach. She wouldn't drop her now. She couldn't. Just a little bit more. She almost has her.
When their fingertips touch and their hands slide into each other, Sabine almost sobs in relief. “I got you! I won't let go!” She is so focused right now, that she doesn't notice the way Shin's eyes widen momentarily at the words, something unsettling growing in her stomach. The Howlers rush to their aid and grab on to what they can to help pull the other woman up.
Even as Shin touches down on the ground again, Sabine still won't let go and so they stumble further away from the steep drop. Once they are a safe distance away from the cliff, they collapse next to each other on the hard ground; Sabine utterly exhausted.
Sabine allows herself to reflect on what just happened; what she just did. She looks up at her hands against the gray sky, feeling the wind rush through her fingers. Remembering the words Ahsoka spoke to her earlier that day, she repeats them in her mind.
... instinct…the instinctual use…to protect …
Her head snaps to the blonde lying next to her. “That's how I used it the first time. To protect myself.”
Beside her the blonde is trying to catch her breath while resting her forehead on the ground. Her body seems stiff with tension from the near death experience. “...What?”
“I protected myself, but right now my instinct was to protect you!”
Shin is silent as she seems to mull something over in her mind. Then she huffs and lifts to her knees. “...so? You have a good heart, I am aware...”, the sarcasm practically dripping from her gasping lips. Pushing up on her arms, she continues to get back to her feet.
The purple haired woman frowns at the shift in tone. “I just saved your life, stop being such a Mir’sheb.” Around them the wind picks up even more, creating little shivers of coldness in their limbs.
Shin doesn't show her confusion at the word as she turns on her heels and opens her arms. “What do you want, a medal? I didn't ask you to save me.” The Force surrounding her confuses Sabine, she says one thing but the touch of warmth she feels in their connection implies something different entirely.
So, Sabine jumps to her own legs, the wind now ruffling her hair in every direction and Shin's troubled emotions mixing with her own elated ones. “Would you have preferred to fall to your death instead?! I can just push you off the cliff if you'd like!”
The blonde woman is suddenly rooted where she stands, it takes her but a second to realize that she is being held in place by Sabine through the Force. The waves of the Mandalorian's energy seem to consume her. Threatening to drown her. The deep thrumming in her own ears shakes her from the inside out. To disrupt the grip, Shin easily pushes back in her own mind and then follows it up with a little shove of the Force, making Sabine stumble where she stands. The Mandalorian’s abilities are still too weak directly compared to Shin's. Stubborn brown eyes connect with guarded pale green ones across the clearing, stuck on each other. Almost stopping time itself.
The first snowflakes are slow and few. The next are bigger and faster. Falin and Mani bounce around their master's trying to break up the tension while more and more snow collects on the ground around them.
Sabine wants to say something, needs an explanation for the confusing energy surrounding them. A shiver runs down her spine and her fingers turn stiff from the cold wind. Her eyes take in Shin's form, still just clad in a black shirt and brown cloak. Thoughts that they should find some kind of shelter run through her mind. But Shin is still just staring back at her with those intense eyes and a set jaw.
The blonde takes a shaky breath through the cold air, nose turning red as the wind nips at her skin. She can't stay here any longer, can't have Sabine this close even if a part inside her – that she doesn't understand – yells out to do exactly that. The Mandalorian is tolerating her, at best. They are opponents, nothing more. Shin needs her to leave her alone. She needs to escape these overflowing and confusing feelings between them, “Leave.”
It is hard to pick up the word over the wind rushing around their ears. Sabine feels the emotions more than she actually hears what Shin said. Still, she needs to fight this growing unease in her stomach, that creeping fear that Shin might never cross her path again after today for some reason. That prospect creates a sudden deep sadness in her throat she doesn't quite understand. Every last time they met it was because Sabine's fumbly connection to the Force brought them together. Everytime she stumbled blindly into the wild of Peridea she also stumbled right into the blonde's metaphorical arms. It has to mean something . “Come with me.” Her voice is fighting for dominance with the wind and she almost prays that Shin will listen to her.
But the blonde doesn't answer. Instead she turns around, motioning for Mani to follow. The Howler whines and throws a sad look towards Falin, who in return produces his own mournful sound. Torn between their master's and the newly found bond and companionship.
“Shin!” There is no reaction again. Sabine takes a step forward to be closer. “You don't have to do this alone anymore!”
This time Shin stops moving. She basically freezes. A beat passes and Sabine wonders if the blonde might be contemplating things just as much as she is. When she finally turns around, Sabine isn't sure if the shiver across her back is still from the cold wind or Shin's now icy stare. “Stop playing around and go back to your master .”, her voice almost breaking with the last word.
That is the second time Shin has said something similar. “I am not playing around, I mean it.” A deep pull in her bones draws Sabine forward, always closer to the blonde. “Come with me. Ahsoka will take you in, and train you–”
An orange blade suddenly lights up the dense snowstorm, burning any snowflakes that come too close. “I don't need a new master!” Shin has never sounded so bitter, so angry, so hurt.
This isn't the first time Sabine sees Shin bathed in the light of her orange lightsaber, but it is the first time she is afraid of the sight. Actually, she isn't afraid, it is Shin. It is the connection between them that makes her feel the blonde's emotions. The sudden deep sorrow in the air surrounding them is almost suffocating.
She is barely able to block the incoming downward strike of the blade, thankfully she throws up her arm in time. Sparks fly off of her beskar vambrace where the plasma connects, her arm straining under the pressure.
“What is so hard to unders–stand about this. Leave me alone! I am fine o–on my own!”
Sabine might have been able to believe her if it wasn't for the tremble in her voice and the unshed tears shimmering in her pale eyes; resembling the colour of a Sith's too much in this lighting for Sabine's liking. “...Shin…”
The younger woman grits her teeth and draws in a shaky breath. Sabine uses this moment to push against the blade and pull out her own lightsaber to defend herself, green mixing with orange in a familiar scene. Their sabers crash against each other and Sabine is close enough to see more tears welling up and threatening to fall. “I don't want to fight you, Shin.”
“Then get out of here!” The blond steps aside and draws back her arm for another strike. Sabine readies her lightsaber and strikes back to push against the orange blade. Their eyes connect across the crossed blades in an uncomfortable déjà-vu.
“I can help you!” She doesn't care how desperate her own voice becomes in the mix of emotions and heightened energy in the Force. As another clash of the orange blade shakes her grip, she dimly worries how far Shin might go right now.
“I don't need your help!” The next strike unbalances Sabine's stance. “I don't need you ! I don't need anyone! ” To emphasize her point she strikes down with each sentence, sparks flying around them over and over.
Adrenaline pumps through Sabine's veins as she jumps aside to move out of harm's way, losing her lightsaber in the process. That seems to rattle even Shin, as her focus momentarily slips from her tense frame.
This is her chance . The Mandalorian dashes forward and throws herself against Shin's front, wrapping her arms around the taller woman's shoulders. She isn't sure if the following gasp is from the sudden impact or something else entirely. “You can stab me again if you want, but I won't just leave.”
The implication is clear as day; I won't leave you .
For a moment Shin is frozen. The warmth from the smaller woman's body against her and the sharp cold surrounding them, a crass contrast.
“I am not leaving.” It's said like a whisper above the howling wind, and with a wave of tension through the Force, the thrumming of the orange lightsaber vanishes as it falls to the ground. Shaking arms wrap around the Mandalorian’s frame, fingers dig into the material of Sabine's flightsuit, like claws trying to hold on to anything they can reach. In return, Sabine slides her arms further down to place aiding hands at the blonde's back.
Sabine closes her eyes as she feels Shin's head drop to the crook of her neck and her shoulders start to shake. She can tell that it's not from the cold. And as hot tears touch her skin she doesn't hesitate to tighten her hug, supporting more of Shin's weight against herself.
Warmth and coldness mix in a confusing dance around and between them as the wind and the snow don’t calm down in their merciless pursuit. A blanket of white stretches across the ground, burying the small pieces of nature beneath it for a cold slumber.
Almost with a mind of its own, a gloveless hand finds its way up and to the back of a blonde head. Creating a protective barrier from the world out there; holding and trying to shield the other woman from more pain. Fingers grip tighter and more tears pool against Sabine’s neck as strong shoulders shake more and more. A first sob breaks through the whirling wind. “H-he left–” And another sob, till the crying is all Sabine hears over the rustling wind. “He left me!”
“I am so sorry.” The purple haired woman can't think of anything else to say, this isn't the right moment to mention her own feelings of abandonment by her master or how she lost her whole family. Right now Shin needs someone to listen and to hold her, and Sabine will be damned if she can't do that for her. She starts moving one of her hands up and down Shin's back in soothing strokes. Holding her as she cries for the master that abandoned her; someone, who was probably more like a father figure for her.
The Mandalorian begins mumbling soothing phrases in Mando'a instead. Shin may not understand anything, but she hopes the words can still provide some kind of comfort. Even as the tears slow down, the shaking doesn't. Like a leaf in the wind; fitting, considering they are still standing in the middle of a relentless snowstorm.
As Sabine feels her own body shiver once more, she remembers that Shin is practically just wearing a shirt. One of her hands draws back to glide over the blonde's arm around her waist, flinching and gasping as her own cold fingertips come in touch with freezing skin.
The Mandalorian pulls back further. “Shin, you are ice cold. We need to find sh–shelter.”
A wave of embarrassment reaches Sabine's mind as the blonde in her arms freezes. She tries to send her own reassuring waves back. She's not sure if it works, because Shin is vehemently averting her eyes.
A sound in the distance alerts them both of more trouble to come. Shin clears her throat and an almost annoyed growl slips through her lips, “More Raiders.” Her arms fall away from Sabine's waist and the older woman suppresses the feeling of disappointment as Shin continues to look in the presumed direction of incoming Raiders. “One of them must have escaped.” She sniffles and grabs on to one edge of her cloak to run it over her damp face. With the other hand she retrieves her fallen lightsaber.
Mani steps up to the younger woman and presses his big head against her, letting out a whine. To calm him, Shin leans her forehead against his and runs a hand over his fur, slightly scratching below his ear. “I’m fine,” a whispered reply to his unsaid question. Then she steps around him and jumps onto his back. Big paws carry her right up next to the Mandalorian, where they stop. Shin keeps her head straight, she doesn't look at Sabine – still feeling embarrassed at her display of emotions – “You coming?”, and continues in a slow trot.
She doesn't need to say it twice, as Falin is already running up to Sabine, who climbs on his back, and then speeds after the white pair. Together they look out for the next best cave to find shelter in.
—-------
Once they find a fitting cave, and Shin is sure the Raiders aren't coming their way, they each remove their Howlers saddles and blankets to use them later. Shin places hers down on the ground while Sabine removes her helmet from Falin’s side; turning on the light on a low setting, bathing the cave in a soft glow.
The Mandalorian places her bag down on the ground and starts to unclip her armor pieces, starting with the vambraces. She turns to call to Shin over her shoulder. “We should get out of our clothes to properly warm up.”
“Wha–” She doesn't get to finish her objection as Sabine steps before Shin and pokes a finger to her chest. “We are both soaked from the snow, we both need to warm up and we don't have a fire, so don't even start with being a stubborn Di'kut right now.”
The closeness of the intense brown eyes of the woman in front of her unsettle Shin more than she would like to admit. She needs to break away from the others' gaze and instead looks to their Howlers. Both of them are lying close by, side by side, warming each other. “Can't we just use them for warmth–”
“We will still need to undress for that to work, and don't act like you don't know that.” One last good poke to the younger woman's chest and she turns around again, resuming the removal of her armor.
Another shiver runs over Shin's skin and she can't think of anything else to say against the Mandalorian's logic. Stomping down the nervousness in her stomach, she starts to remove her own remaining garments. This is simply for survival. It's only logical. So why is her heart beating like crazy inside her chest?
“I wonder if they knew each other before.” The purple haired woman's voice breaks her out of her thoughts.
Shin follows her gaze and it lands back on Mani and Falin. Then she peers back to Sabine, who shrugs her shoulders at the questioning look in the blonde's eyes. “Well, they seem to get along pretty well.”
Without any retort from Shin, Sabine turns back around, her hands reaching for the zipper of her flightsuit. With her back turned towards the blonde, she doesn't notice the way Shin is suddenly frozen in her own movements.
The material drapes from Sabine's shoulders and she shrugs it off to let it pool around her waist. Cool air scrapes along her back, creating more goosebumps in their wake.
Behind her, the younger woman is stiff, eyes fixated on the bare skin. Little specks of warmth wash over her through the Force, sending tingles along her spine. Shin feels like the air is stuck in her throat at the sight before her. A deep thrumming grows in the back of her head, urging her to act. She shakes her head. Self control , she needs to remember her self control; swallowing the growing want as a shaky breath escapes her lips.
“You don't sound well, we should hurry.” The worried voice of Sabine rips her out of her reverie once more, her eyes climb from muscular arms to the back of a purple haired head. Sabine didn't look back, she didn't notice Shin's wandering gaze. Relief washes over the blonde, feeling a little guilty for staring. Letting her attention move over the other woman's frame one last time – she tells herself it is simply to remember any weaknesses for their next fight – when something catches her attention. Just at the bottom of the Mandalorian's ribs lies a scar. The round scar of a lightsaber that Shin created.
Her brows furrow as she feels the subtle probing of remorse at the base of her skull. Her thoughts start to swirl and a question bubbles out of her mouth before she can stop it. “If you first used the Force when you were in danger, why did you never use it against me?”
“Hm?” Sabine turns around and her brown eyes find pale green ones. “I guess I never saw you as a real threat.” The Mandalorian throws the blanket over her shoulders and moves towards Shin.
“I feel like I should be offended by that. I am a very real threat.”, she says while suppressing a pout. Shin Hati does not pout, especially not at infuriatingly pretty, purple haired Mandalorians. Her smudged makeup, from crying before, not helping her case at all.
“Sure you are…” The wink is implied as Sabine walks past the blonde and sits down on the blanket Shin placed there before, to lean against Falin’s strong side. When Shin doesn't immediatly move, she pats the spot beside her. “Come on, it's not getting any warmer in here.”
Shin huffs a defeated breath, throws away her undershirt and follows the demand. It's only for survival. It's only logical.
When the blonde plops down besides Sabine she pushes away the confusing waves in the Force surrounding them. The other woman scoots closer to Shin, drawing in a sharp inhale as her arm touches Shin's freezing skin and drapes the big cloth over both their bodys, sinking into the warm bubble that is created.
Shin can't help staring at the Mandalorian's face as she leans her head back against the Howlers ribs and closes her eyes in deep comfort. Whispered words escape the blonde. “...why would you be so open and trusting? I could kill you…I almost did…”
Sabine chuckles sleepily and burrows deeper against her Howlers fur. “Somehow I can feel you more clearly than other things.” A short pause. “So I know you won't.” It doesn't take any longer for her breathing to even out and for her to fall asleep.
The blonde's gaze stays glued to Sabine's relaxed face. Gentle curves and soft skin. Slightly parted lips and fluttering eyelids. Shin's heart swells and she doesn't understand what is happening to her. Willing down the growing want in her bones, she closes her eyes until she falls asleep too. Dreaming of purple hair and soft brown eyes.
—--------
The first thing Shin notices when she wakes up is that she is warm. Comfortably warm with something soft pressing against her. The next thing she notices is something tickling at her neck, making her crinkle her nose in slight annoyance.
Her mind is hazy, all wrapped up in cozy warmth, both figuratively and literally. Memories are hard to come by when she is holding on so tightly to the pleasant feeling. She distantly remembers the Raiders attacking her after having decided that Shin wasn't being thorough enough whenever she fought the Mandalorian. They wouldn't accept any weaknesses, especially no growing soft spots for supposed enemies.
Shin idly wonders if she has died, hence the comfortable bubble of warmth she finds herself in right now. And the soft pressure against her stomach moving back and forth feels nice too. With half a mind she lets herself drift back into this cozy feeling. Until something around her stirs a little. A puff of air hitting the back of her neck and bringing her back to the present. Back to the cave and the purple haired Mandalorian. Back to Sabine.
Sabine who – as Shin grows more aware of her surroundings – is wrapped around the blonde, pressing their body's close together. Cuddling, with her front to Shin's back.
The blonde panics internally and scrambles out of the embrace to get dressed. She is careful not to wake Sabine and create another uncomfortable situation. Crying in front of the other woman like she did wasn't really on her bucket list, and she isn't sure where they stand, but she can't let her guard down anymore than she already has. And she definitely won’t accept the subtle thought that that was the best sleep she has had in weeks, months even.
When Sabine stirs and wakes up to an already fully dressed Shin, she feels a sudden wave of unease run through her veins. Is Shin trying to slip away? But she calms down not even a second later, suddenly wrapped in a cozy soothing of the Force. Shin must be calming her down.
Behind the Mandalorian both Howlers begin to move, standing up and stretching as they yawn and then nuzzle each other. Sabine rubs at her eyes, willing away the sleepiness that is clinging to her mind.
The beeping of a comlink breaks up the quiet morning and Sabine rushes over to her heap of belongings on her knees and still wrapped in the blanket, to answer it. Her voice almost breaks and she quickly clears her throat before talking. “Yes? Hello?”
Ahsoka's slightly staticy voice rings through the air. “Sabine, is everything okay? Where are you? I have been trying to reach you.”
The purple haired woman glances over to Shin, who is already resaddling Mani. “I–err, got a bit distracted and then got into a snowstorm. I am fine though.”
“Do you need me to come and get you?”
“No, I'll be fine. But thanks. I will see you later.”
“Alright, be careful.” With that their conversation ends and Sabine puts down the comlink in her lap. She taps her fingers along the metal in a nervous pattern before she looks up at Shin. Green eyes are already watching her.
“You know, my offer still stands.”
The younger woman averts her own gaze and nibbles on her lower lip, pulling on the last latch of the saddle to tighten it. She keeps her hands there, contemplating, waiting. “...I can't.”
“At least–”, Sabine clambers to her feet “–come to the T6 to have a proper look at the wound.” She is holding on to the blanket around her shoulders, shielding herself from the morning air blowing into the cave, yet still nipping at her ears and ankles.
“I can't.” She sounds so…sad. So broken. Sabine wants to pull her into another hug, maybe even kidnap her and force her to come back to the ship. But it would be no use. She would just lash out if she was forced. Like a wild animal. Shin reminds her of a wolf mostly. Wild and dangerous, yet loyal and loving if she gets the chance to show it.
Sabine remembers the time when she first started leaving out food for Murley, her Loth-cat back on Lothal. She hopes he is okay and that someone is feeding him while she is away. Shin reminds her of this time. She needs to give her space, to hopefully let her come to her on her own terms. And right now, Sabine feels like it is actually possible to hope for that; not like yesterday when the blonde was clearly overwhelmed with the abandonment of her master and possibly the still confusing connection to Sabine through the Force.
Even if it makes her stomach queasy, the older woman knows she has to let her go. For now. So she nods in understanding and reaches back for her things to receive another fresh bacta patch. Holding it out for Shin to take.
“Here, take this, so I know you won't die of sepsis or from another attack or something like that,” she probably fails miserably at trying to sound nonchalant.
Shin's eyes jump from the patch to brown pools and back. The Mandalorian can feel the inner turmoil dancing around her. Until the blonde reaches forward and takes it into unsure hands, keeping her gaze low.
To not make the younger woman more uncomfortable with the situation, Sabine turns around and acts like she is sorting through her stuff. Checking imaginary specks on her helmet, pushing her armor pieces from one side to the other. Anything really to give Shin enough time to silently escape.
A last flicker of warmth through the Force sends a shiver up Sabine's spine. She hears the soft padding of big paws and smaller boots growing in distance until they are no more. One last look over her shoulder, and the accompanied whine from Falin, tells her Shin Hati is gone.
But somehow, she knows this won't be the last time they see each other.
—----------
Bonus:
Sabine doesn't notice the absence of her lightsaber until she is back at the T6.
Huyang is quick to berate her about her carelessness of losing such an important weapon; Sabine is more sad about losing a reminder of Ezra.
Another strong storm prevents her from immediately going back out there to find it, but Ahsoka promises that they can go look the next day when the weather is less impairing in their search.
So, the Mandalorian can't really do much else but stay in the ship and ponder the events of the last rotation on this planet, until she goes to sleep.
She dreams of a white wolf, not a Howler but rather another familiar creature she can't quite put her finger on. It's a hazy illusion that's more confusing than anything. She is standing opposite the white wolf, they are staring each other down, but she doesn't feel threatened. Familiar eyes look back at her as the beast slowly moves towards her.
The Mandalorian drops down to her knees and holds out her hand for the wolf to sniff. It doesn't though, it just moves further until it is almost face to snout with Sabine. Those eyes. Sabine feels like she knows them. Pale and almost green. Recognition stabs at the back of her head but it doesn’t reach her conscience .
A distant sound rips her from her slumber and she sits up in alert. The cloak of slumber is slowly slipping away; the dream, already a distant memory.
She clambers out of her bunk, grabs a blaster and carefully enters the main area; Ahsoka right behind her. Looking around for any unwanted intruders, they don't find any. What Sabine does find however is her lightsaber laying on the raised table, with a purple piece of cloth next to it and a hopeful feeling in her chest.