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You know how people say they're "dying of boredom?" If only boredom actually killed people.
Is there even any point to a graduation ceremony? No one wanted to be here. It’s 2009! The school can mail everyone their diploma.
Principal Lynn opened with a speech. The typical spiel of her being so proud of the graduates and how she'll miss everyone. It was obvious that she was tipsy since she’d stumble on her words. Nicole couldn't blame her, there's no way she would've been able to make such a speech sober.
After all who in their right mind would feel 'sentimental' about a graduating class where one of the students got sent to prison for killing their mother?!
Mr. Katz went up next, the class of ‘09’s faculty advisor. His speech was just some generic “I look forward to all the amazing things you’ll do in your futures.” garbage he clearly printed off Google.
He was still under the impression his annoying community service assignment was so important by the way.
Midway through his speech Hunter shouted “this is so fucking gay!” across the auditorium. All the boys were cackling.
Megan gave her student council president farewell address afterwards. She started getting all emotional as she finished speaking. Bullshit! Nicole knew that Megan was proud to leave everyone in the dust.
Then Mr. Burleday introduced the valedictorian. Well salutatorian. Megan graduated as valedictorian but she already got the student council speech. The science teacher tried doing some awkward stand up comedy bit before Principal Lynn forced him off the stage.
Karen went up for her speech. The second she stood at the podium, she got nervous and ran off stage crying. Ari got up and left the auditorium to comfort her girlfriend.
No valedictorian, no salutatorian, this could only mean one thing. She was not ready to hear 'his' nasaly Looney Tunes voice for ten minutes. How does one force themselves to stop breathing?
Except the backup speaker was… Kelly?! Same girl who still believes in Santa Claus was going to study law in college, with a full scholarship. And Nicole thought she’d seen it all at this school.
On the one hand she wasn’t Jeffery. Still annoying however. She obviously didn't have a speech prepared either and just rattled off a bunch of cliche motivational quotes.
Her mother (who looked exactly like her but taller) even kissed her on the forehead as she finished her speech. Now Nicole was embarrassed and envious.
A moment of silence was held for the girls' lacrosse team member Coach Colby murdered earlier in the year. This was fine and all except…
The very next thing was the graduation song performed by the Satan-worshipping music teacher and her heavy metal band. A lot of parents were freaking out because they thought this was an In Memoriam number.
Her band played a metal cover of that graduation song by Vitamin C that Nicole absolutely hated. Crispin tearfully shouted “rock on Ms. Osbourne” during the performance.
After what felt like another four years, it was finally time for the students to receive their diplomas. Everyone was called up by last name however. The Yu surname truly was a curse.
Even worse, the Counselor was the one handing out diplomas. As expected he’d get flirtatious with all the girls. He’s not even hiding it in front of everyone’s parents, yet still won’t get fired.
“Nicole! I never thought I’d see you on this stage. Congratulations! I hope you go on to do amazing things.” She hated hearing his soft and slimy voice so much.
The brunette than violently grabbed her diploma and gave him a piercing glare. "I hope the next time I see you is on the news after you've been arrested!" She spoke in blatant anger as she rushed off the stage.
The ceremony ended with some asshole from the school board droning on for ten minutes. Not a single student knew this guy and yet he really wanted to feel important.
Once the ceremony ended, Nicole went to the girls’ room and took off her cap and gown. Her cell phone rang as she was changing.
“Nicole! Get your ass to the front of the school so I can take pictures!” Her mom yelled. Nicole hung up immediately.
Afterwards, Jecka walked into the bathroom. She immediately noticed Nicole and offered her a cigarette.
Nicole took the cigarette from her friend. “Are you trying to avoid family pictures too?”
“Nah, my parents wanna go home and get shitfaced. I just don’t wanna deal with my mom pretending to be ‘so proud of me’ after trying not to fall asleep for three hours.” Jecka then lit up her cigarette and took her first puff.
“I hope you’ll look back on your time here fondly.” Nicole said, mocking the school board guy.
“Look back fondly on what? The photography teacher trying to recruit students to join the White Pride Party?”
“Anyone who thinks they had fun in high school must live a sad and boring life.”
“Like my dad who doesn’t shut up about how he was captain of the baseball team.”
“Student athletes act like what they do is so important, and then all they have to show for it is a trophy from Wal-Mart.”
“They take so much pride in those cheap trophies too. Like my dad makes half a million a year and puts those trophies on his desk. He thinks it makes it look like he actually accomplished something.”
“What’s there to be so proud of with a store bought trophy anyway? I could buy one myself and make up some reason to pat myself on the back.”
As Nicole and Jecka were speaking, two other girls entered the bathroom at the same time. It was Megan and Kelly.
Jecka turned to the two girls as she heard their footsteps. “Is the reception in the girls’ room this year?” The blonde asked sarcastically.
“Is there something wrong with having to use the bathroom?” Kelly replied with a mildly annoyed look on her face.
“Nicole! Jecka! You’re not allowed to smoke in here.” Megan scolded.
“Bitch, the window’s open! And you can’t tell us what to do anymore ‘Miss Megan’.” Nicole didn’t even look at her former student council president as she said that.
Megan wrapped her arms around her chest. “Building rules, not student council rules!”
“Not like anyone ever followed your rules anyway.” Nicole then took another puff on her cigarette.
As Jecka took a puff, she made eye contact with Kelly and Megan. She had a look of frustration on her face. “Why the fuck are you two here?”
“I like, really have to pee. Been holding it in since Mr. Katz’s speech. '' Kelly spoke in a quiet tone of voice.
Nicole turned her head over to Kelly. “Graduation would’ve actually been worth sitting through if you pissed your pants on stage.” She had a cat-like grin on her face as she said that.
"Wow! Imagine studying law on a full scholarship and wetting yourself during a graduation speech." Jecka giggled.
Kelly looked at Nicole and Jecka with a scowl as the two ignored her and got back to puffing on their smokes. “Is that how you talk to a future lawyer?”
“Shit! You sound just like Megan right now.” Nicole said without even looking at Kelly.
“Speaking of, why did Megan come in here with you?” Jecka asked.
A bulb lit up in Nicole’s brain. “Are you and Megan going to make out again?”
“That was just a rumor!” Kelly protested and then looked at her friend. “Right Megs?”
“Megs?!” Jecka asked in surprise.
“Both of you wouldn’t get off my ass after Ari broke up with me. But apparently me asking if you two are going to make out is taboo. Who’s homophobic now?” Came out of Nicole's mouth like a perfectly timed bullet.
Megan who was leaned against turned her gaze to Nicole. “Sorry but I’m not the one who abused a gay girl into questioning her own homosexuality.” It was like the time she scolded Nicole and Emily for mocking her table read.
Nicole had a blank expression on her face. “Bitch! At least I admit I dated another girl.”
Kelly was lost in thought thinking of a way to stick up for her friend. “But you haven’t dated another girl since Ari broke up with you.”
Nicole and Jecka stared at Kelly dumbfounded. That’s the best she could come up with? Even Megan slowly shook her head at the bleached blonde before turning her attention over to Nicole and Jecka.
“Nicole, you’re so insistent that me and Kelly are dating. What about you and Jecka?” The brunette said with an arrogant smile that always made Nicole wince.
Nicole wrapped her arms around her chest with utmost confidence. “If me and Jecka were gay we’d have no shame letting the entire world know.”
Was Nicole entirely sure of that? Probably not. But she’d always take the opportunity to get one over on ‘Miss Megan’.
Nicole’s retort put a delightfully devilish grin on Jecka’s face. “Yeah, and me and Nicole wouldn’t make out in one of these smelly bathrooms. Hot bitches like us smooch in the middle of the hallway.”
“We’d be daring lesbians unlike you losers. Neither of us would give a fuck if Miss Lynn yelled at us for obstructing the halls.”
Jecka smiled as Nicole said that.
“Or if Coach Colby sent us to the principal’s office for promoting Communism.”
The two girls simultaneously took a puff on their cigarettes. Shortly after the silence was broken by another girl shouting in the hallway.
“Jeffery get away from me!” Karen shouted.
“But Karen, I just wanted to see if you were doing okay!” Jeffery whined.
“Don’t play dumb with us! I know you want to get in my girlfriend’s pants.” Ari was furious.
“What makes you say that?” Jeffery asked.
“You were in the girls’ locker room when I was changing out of my gown!” Karen yelled at Jeffery.
“And don’t think we forgot about the time you drew pictures of us making out.” Ari scolded.
“I never did any of that!” Jeffery was desperately begging.
"Don't give us the puppy dog look! If you don't leave me and Karen alone I'll crack your Nintendo DS in half!" Ari threatened.
"I swear this is all a misunderstanding! Can't we just put this behind us and watch anime together?" The nerdy boy only got more and more pathetic.
“Fuck off Jeffery!” Both girls screamed in unison. Jeffery ran off crying.
“Damn! And here I thought Karen needed to have swear words explained to her.” The two girlfriends scurried into the bathroom as Nicole finished speaking.
Ari immediately noticed four of her classmates loitering around. “Should I even be surprised at this point?”
“Me and Nicole are at least trying to get away from our bitchass moms. Those two should’ve left five minutes ago.” Jecka said frustratedly.
“Other way around bitch! Kelly actually has to use the bathroom.” Megan retaliated back.
Her friend’s words caught Kelly off guard. “Oh yeah! That’s why I came in here.”
“How the fuck do you forget having to pee?” Nicole asked flatly.
Jecka stared at the two girls intently. “Just admit you and Megan came in here to make out already!”
Megan was unfazed as the tall blonde said that. “Both of you keep saying that. But I’m certainly positive you two were making out before me and Kelly came in here.”
“Were you not listening to me dumbass? I already said me and Jecka wouldn’t be caught dead making out in this shitty bathroom.” Nicole angrily protested.
Ari interjected. “Oh but you were perfectly okay making out with me in the bathroom.” Her anger turned to sorrow. “I really was worthless to you, wasn’t I?”
Karen looked nervous as she noticed her girlfriend was about to cry. She held Ari in a light embrace to try and comfort her.
Kelly gave Nicole a furrowed brow. “Way to go Nicole! You made Ari cry.”
Nicole was flabbergasted. “Not my fault! I didn’t even say anything to her.” She then sighed and took another puff on her cigarette.
As Karen was comforting Ari, she looked at Nicole with angered determination. “It’s really screwed up that you still see nothing wrong with how you treated Ari.”
Nicole couldn’t even be bothered to make eye contact with Karen. “Okay.” She said flatly. “Ari’s been dating you for months now. Every time I see you two holding hands in the hall or cuddling in the courtyard, she looks fine.”
Ari wiped her tears as she found it in herself to speak up against Nicole. “I still haven’t forgotten how you treated me like I wasn’t even a human.” Ari cried a bit before she continued speaking. “Just like how my bitch of a mom couldn’t even show up for my own fucking graduation!” Ari’s sobbing only grew more uncontrollable.
Karen tightly embraced Ari as she gave Nicole a dirty look.
Kelly felt uneasy as she observed the interaction “Ari, don’t let anyone bring you down. You’re a strong girl.”
Jecka nudged Nicole as she heard Ari crying. Nicole rolled her eyes. She knew what had to be done and wasn’t happy with it.”
“Yeah, yeah! I’m sorry Ari.” Nicole was slightly annoyed.
Jecka took a deep breath in relief after Nicole apologized. Ari reciprocated Karen’s hug as she tried to calm herself down.
Megan shook her head as she witnessed everything that went down. She then turned to Nicole. “Class act calling me and Kelly homophobes when you still hate Ari.”
“I don’t hate Ari because she’s gay! I dislike her because she’s an annoying excuse stealer.” Nicole protested in a frustrated tone of voice.
Jecka sighed as she looked at her friend. “Nicole! You’re still mad about that?”
“She never even apologized to me!”
“Like how you never apologized to Ari about abusing her.” Karen said angrily.
Ari took a deep breath as she finally collected herself. “Kar-bear, don’t even bother with her. She won’t listen.” Her voice was quiet but dismissive of Nicole.
“Awww! Kar-bear is such an adorable pet name!” Kelly proclaimed.
Nicole on the other hand looked disgusted. “I really want to fucking puke right now.”
Kelly’s brow furrowed. “Nicole, why are you so mean to Karen? She’s a sweetheart!”
"If Karen were such a sweetheart she would've stood up for me when the homophobia rumors were going around." Nicole said back.
"Excuse me! I'm wrong for wanting to stick up for one of my classmates. A classmate who is now my girlfriend!" Karen normally didn't get this serious.
Megan had that catty grin on her face that Nicole hated. “Don’t play dumb with me Nicole! I know you want Jecka to call you a cute name.”
Kelly quickly interjected as she suddenly remembered. “Weren't you and Jecka were cuddling the morning after my party?”
Nicole froze up. If Jecka weren’t in the same room as her this very moment she’d tell Megan and Kelly to fuck off without hesitation. But also, neither of them were wrong.
“Emily calls you names like ‘sugar’ and ‘honey pie’ all the time. I never see you get mad at her.” Ari said.
As she was reminded of the fact, Nicole looked exhausted. “Not like I want her calling me those names.”
“Speaking of Emily, am I the only one who thinks she’s been acting really weirdly since my party?” Kelly was concerningly worried as she asked.
“Is she ever not acting weird?” Megan asked.
“No, I think Kelly is on to something.” Jecka looked uneasy. “The entire graduation ceremony, Emily kept turning around to me and giving me dirty looks.”
Kelly gasped. “Actually Jecka, in her yearbook she wrote ‘bitchass whore’ over your photo.”
“That’s a fairly tame insult for her.” Nicole said flatly.
“You’re friends with her. Do you know what’s going on?” Megan asked sternly.
“Dude, I haven't talked to her in months. And its not like I wanna go back to talking to her either.” All the other girls were surprised with how casually Nicole revealed that.
“What the fuck Nicole?” Jecka was on the brink of an angered panic.
“We've been over this Jecka. I'm not gonna spend time with someone who's psychotically obssessed with me.”
“Someone run by us what happened at the party again.” Karen said.
Kelly looked nervous. “So like basically, Emily was blackout drunk and got into a fight with Jecka."
The blonde's nervous gasp turned to fear. "Right! She was screaming at me thinking I stole Nicole from her or something like that."
"I mean I don't expect people to make the most rational choices when they're blackout drunk." Nicole took a breath. "Besides, weren't we all wasted that night?"
Megan chimed in. "Emily normally doesn't drink at parties. If she's getting blackout drunk then something must have been bothering her."
"Plus you've known this whole time that Emily is unhealthily attached to you and had no concerns being at a party with her." Ari added.
"Yeah her obsession with me is weird. But like, I never took it all that seriously." Nicole said.
“I’m so fucking dead if Emily even comes anywhere near me.” Jecka worried.
“Dude chill! She threatens stuff all the time but never acts on it. Plus as long as she’s on her meds she’s fine.”
Kelly interjected. “She was on her meds when she choked me in gym class last year.”
“Yeah Nicole, all it takes for Emily to snap is one little mishap. Seroquel or no Seroquel.” Jecka stressed.
“Didn’t know the graduation after party was here.” Speaking of the devil, Emily arrived out of seemingly nowhere.
“After party? That would imply any of this is fun.” Jecka snarked.
"At this point I would've rather taken cap and gown photos with my mom." Nicole said.
"Did I miss anything juicy?" Emily asked.
"Megan and Kelly came in here to make out." Jecka said.
"False!" Kelly protested. "Don't go hiding those hickeys from me by the way."
"What the hell are you even talking about?" Jeck asked flabbergasted.
"Karen dropped the f-bomb." Nicole said flatly.
"Lemme guess..."
Ari interrupted Emily as she was about to finish speaking. "Jeffery tried peeking on us in the girls' locker room."
"Gross!" Emily scoffed.
"I just don't get why he still goes after me if he cheated on me." Karen asked.
Ari then kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. "Just forget about him snookums."
Emily took a second to realize that she knew what Karen was talking about. "Huh. Guess I should explain myself. I just like to tell people Jeffery is a cheater so there's no girls in school left for him to date."
Nicole, Jecka, Kelly and Megan were all braced for the worst after that admittance. Was Karen going to lose it with Emily?
Karen took a moment to take in Emily's comment. "To be honest you kinda saved me that day at the mall." She said to the surprise of everyone else.
Emily smiled devilishly. "I just want him to be sad and miserable for the rest of his worthless life. No girl should ever have to go out with the guy who prints out pictures of anime girls and takes them on dates."
"Did not need to know he does that." Ari said.
"Miss Lynn dragged him to her office because he skeeted in his pants while he was using the library computer. Everyone in school already knows that." Nicole said.
"Can we not talk about Jeffery any more?" Karen asked.
"Why are you all so mean to Jeffery anyway? Yeah he's weird but he doesn't know better." Kelly said.
"I'm sorry but does bleaching your hair also kill your braincells?" Jecka asked.
Emily looked at Kelly in aggravation. "Doesn't know better? This is the same guy who stole one of the the school newspaper's cameras."
Ari gave a glaring look to both girls. "My girlfriend just said she doesn't want to talk about this."
Jecka nudged Nicole once again and whispered in her ear. “This is looking all too familiar, Nicole.”
Nicole whispered back. “Emily hasn’t tried killing you yet.”
“Not that Nicole. We need to find a new place to hide, or better just leave outright.”
“What about our parents?”
“At the very least we can hop out the window and hide in the courtyard till the coast is clear.”
“So what’s everyone’s graduation party plans?” Kelly asked.
“Karen's parents invited me to her graduation dinner." Ari proclaimed happily.
"Is it alright if I ask where you're going?" Megan inquired.
"The new hot pot restaurant that just opened." Karen said.
"That sounds like a lot of fun! You two need to tell me how it is." Kelly exclaimed.
"I'm gonna find Crispin and see if he'll buy this shitty weed off of me for an inflated price." Emily said.
“I was hoping to get hammered tonight but I got my whole family coming.” Kelly whined.
“Forgetting that I'll be there too?.” Megan looked at her friend intently.
“Are you sure you two aren’t gay?” Emily asked.
“Emily! Can’t two girls just be really good friends?” Kelly asked.
“You two are awfully close. Maybe you can try and see what dating is like.” Ari said.
“It’s okay if it takes time. I didn’t think I’d be into girls until I realized that it was okay to be in love with Ari.” Karen said.
“Love is just love at the end of the day. Isn’t that right, snookums?” Ari began cuddling with Karen as the two started making out.
Nicole whispered to Jecka. “Now we really need to get the fuck out of here.”
There was a long awkward silence.
“Kelly.” Megan said nervously. “I am down so bad for you.”
No words. Kelly went over to Megan as the two friends embraced each other and locked lips.
Nicole and Jecka tossed their cigarettes in the trash and hopped out the window into the school courtyard.
To their relief no one was there but Principal Lynn who was seated on the bench passed out while holding a bottle of whiskey.
“Do you think this happens to her at every graduation?” Jecka asked.
“No shit!”
Nicole then took out her cell phone and got a picture of the principal.
“What the fuck are you going to do with that photo?”
“Nothing, but I couldn’t not capture something as hilarious as this.”
“For all the bullshit she’s put you through I’m surprised you’re not going to post it on Facebook or something.”
“Yeah I thought about trying to get her fired. But then I realized having to work here until she's an old hag is a punishment on it's own.”
“Anyway, is your mom still looking for you?”
“She hasn’t called or texted me since I hung up on her. Probably ran off with her new boyfriend.”
“How long is this one gonna last?”
“They’ll be broken up by tomorrow morning. My mom’s gonna get sloshed and do something stupid. And your parents?”
“Dad already texted me. I actually forgot they had their plane to Europe scheduled tonight.”
“And you’re not going with them?”
“Fuck no! I wouldn’t pass up an entire summer without my family.”
“How long will they be in Europe for?”
“Basically the whole summer. They return the day before I leave for college.”
“Can I spend the entire summer at your place?”
“I don’t see any reason why not.”
“Jecka?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Nicole?”
“Uh huh?”
“This is the first time you ever thanked me for anything.”
“Shit, did I say that?! Whatever, we’ve been friends for two years now. Bound to happen eventually.”
“You know Nicole, you’re a lot nicer than when I first met you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not saying you’re a nice person, but the Nicole I first met would’ve never thanked me.”
“Jecka, I’m looking forward to spending the summer with you.”