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Fallen leaves crunched beneath his paws as Rootspring walked through the forest on another evening stroll. It had become a habit of his as of late— a way for him to work out all the restless energy of the day.
The young SkyClan warrior was about to return to camp for the night, when he came upon a familiar cat laying down in an open clearing. It was his friend Shadowsight, one of ShadowClan’s medicine cats. The young tom’s pelt was a gray so dark, it had almost hid him completely from sight at first glance. If not for the clear night sky, Rootspring wasn’t sure if he’d have seen him at all.
“Shadowsight?” Rootspring asked, slowly approaching him. “Are you okay?”
The young medicine cat was so caught up in whatever he was doing that it took him a moment to recognize that he was no longer alone. “Huh? Rootspring? What are you doing out here so late.”
“I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing lying there? I thought you might be hurt.”
“It's a little embarrassing,” Shadowsight said, sheepishly pawing at the ground.
“I won’t laugh, I promise. You can tell me.”
The dark gray tom sighed, his breath condensing it a misty cloud in the cool leaf-fall night. “Okay… I’ve been trying to connect with StarClan. I know they said I didn’t— that I would never have a connection with them, but… still, l want to try.” He lowered his head. “That probably sounds mouse-brained. What’s the point if I know I never will.”
Rootspring placed a paw underneath Shadowsight’s chin and lifted his head. Looking into his eyes he said, “I don’t think that sounds mouse-brained at all.”
A soft wind picked up, swaying the grass around the two. Rootspring then asked, “Do you mind if I join you?”
“I don’t mind,” Shadowsight said, shaking his head. The young tom laid down and then patted the grass next to him and said, “Here— lie down next to me.”
Gently, Rootspring nestled beside Shadowsight, their pelts lightly brushing against each other. Above them, silverpelt shined brightly in the clear night sky.
“So, what do I do now?” The yellow tom asked. Beside him he could feel the soft, rhythmic breathing of his friend.
“Well, first I introduce myself to let them know I’m here. Then I just… talk to them. I tell them about something that has been bothering me or a problem I have and ask if they can guide me.” After a moment he added, “But so far all I’ve gotten back is silence.”
“Do you mind if I try?” Rootspring asked.
“Go ahead.”
The young SkyClan warrior took a deep breath, then began. “Hey StarClan, it’s Rootspring. I know I’m not a medicine cat or anything, but I could use some help.” He paused, as he gathered his thoughts. “I’ve been feeling really directionless lately and I know it has my parents worried. I just— I don’t know how I’m supposed to just go back to my normal life like nothing happened. How am I supposed to just move on from that?”
The two lay in silence for a moment and when nothing happened Shadowsight said, “Sorry, like I said… nothing but silence.”
“Yeah,” Rootspring said, pressing himself a little tighter against his friend’s side, “but at least saying it outloud felt good.”
Shadowsight purred softly and as the two lay there in silence, Rootspring realized how much he’d missed his friend. Being in two different clans, the two had hardly seen each other since— well, Rootspring didn’t want to think about it. It was nice lying here, just the two of them.
“What’s it feel like when you speak with the earth?” Shadowsight asked. His voice was quiet and filled with a bit of wonder.
“Hmmm… it’s hard to put into words.” Rootspring clicked his tongue for a few seconds as he thought. “I don’t really speak with it so much as feel it— kinda like my tail.”
“Your tail?” Shadowsight asked, sounding confused.
“It’s like it becomes another part of me. When I reach out to the earth, I can feel it as clearly as I would someone standing on my tail.”
“Hmm… interesting,” Shadowsight said, raising his own tail to look at it. “I wonder if I could do the same with StarClan?”
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt to try.”
Rootspring watched as Shadowsight lay back and closed his eyes. As time passed the young ShadowClan cat began clenching his muscles tighter and tighter as if he was trying to physically force the connection with his ancestors.
“You’re too tense,” Rootspring said, placing a paw on his friend’s leg. Gently he rubbed it, urging Shadowsight to relax. “The feeling should be natural; you can’t force it.”
Rootspring felt Shadowsight’s muscles begin to relax and soon the look of strain on the ShadowClan cat’s face was replaced with one of calm. “There we go; that’s much better.”
Minutes passed like this, Shadowsight with his eyes closed and breathing slowed and Rootspring softly caressing his friend, quietly encouraging him.
Shadowsight slowly opened his eyes and then blinked them a few times.
“Well?” Rootspring asked. “Did you feel anything?”
“No, not from StarClan. Still as silent as ever.” Rootspring could hear the disappointment in his friend’s voice as he spoke. “But thank you for letting me try.”
“You know— even if you don’t have a connection with StarClan, I still think you are a great medicine cat,” Rootspring said, flashing him a friendly smile. “You're smart, hardworking, and really brave. ShadowClan is lucky to have you.”
The young medicine cat sat up next to Rootspring, wrapping his tail around his body and over his paws. “Are they?” he asked quietly. “I’ve caused so much pain for everyone. No one is lucky to have me.”
Rootspring gently laid his tail over his friend’s back. “Oh Shadowsight, is that how you really feel?”
The young ShadowClan cat nodded his head with a sniffle. “Yeah. It’s no wonder our ancestors want nothing to do with me.”
“Here, come with me,” the yellow tom said, giving his friend a pat on the side.
Shadowsight stood and together the two walked across SkyClan territory in silence until eventually they arrived at the base of an old oak tree. The tree was tall, so much so that Rootspring couldn’t even see the top, and its branches were so thick that the young SkyClan warrior was certain that ten warriors could sit on one and still it would hold.
“A… tree?” Shadowsight asked, puzzled.
“We’re gonna climb it,” Rootspring said, gesturing towards one of the branches.
“Are you sure? What if I fall?”
“I’ve seen you climb a tree before Shadowsight, you’ll be fine. Trust me.”
The young medicine cat nodded, though Rootspring could tell he was still nervous.
Rootspring braced himself and then leaped up onto the tree trunk, claw sinking deep into the bark. Slowly he climbed, one paw after the other until he was beside one of the large branches. Carefully, he shifted in wait and leaped onto it.
Breathing heavily, he shouted down at Shadowsight, “Your turn.”
Despite earlier protesting, Shadowsight proved to be a natural and soon the young medicine cat was up on the branch next to Rootspring.
“It’s beautiful,” Shadowsight said, his voice almost a whisper, as he looked out over the forest.
“It is, isn’t it?” replied Rootspring. “This is my favorite place in the forest. Look, over there.”
The young SkyClan warrior pointed with a paw out at the lake. Stars glittered in the reflection of the water as clear as if it was the night sky. “It’s like StarClan is down here with us.”
Rootspring pressed his pelt up against Shadowsight. “I know you still blame yourself for everything, but you can’t.”
“I know,” Shadowsight said, lowering his head, “but it’s hard.”
“It is,” Rootspring said, turning Shadowsight’s muzzle towards him with a paw, “but if you let me, I’ll be there too.”
Shadowsight’s amber eyes were like two little stars twinkling in the night and gazing into them, for the first time in moons, Rootspring didn’t feel lost. All these moon’s he’d felt like something was missing and finally he realized what. It was Shadowsight.
“I’d like that,” Shadowsight mewed, his voice barely a whisper. The young ShadowClan tom closed his eyes and leaned for.
A deep purr built inside Rootspring’s chest as his muzzle pressed into Shadowsight’s and it was warm— oh how it was warm. He heart raced as he took in all that was Shadowsight and for the first time in moons he felt at home. All this time it had been closer than he had realized.
Shadowsight was the first to pull away, breathing heavily. “Rootspring, all this time… I had hoped, but…” He trailed off, at a complete loss for words.
“Shadowsight you make me feel ways I never knew I could,” Rootspring said, his breathing heavy. “I mean all those things I said about you and more. I know you wish you had a connection with StarClan, but I think you have something more important.”
“What’s that?”
“You have a connection with the living. You know what it feels like to hurt and be afraid. You are compassionate and kind in a way unlike any other cat I’ve met.”
“Rootspring,” Shadowsight said. “Thanks.”
“I mean it,” Rootspring said, then licked Shadowsight’s cheek.
Shadowsight let out a small yawn.
“I guess it is getting pretty late, isn’t it,” Rootspring meowed.
“Yeah,” Shadowsight said, sounding disappointed. Rootspring shared his disappointment. If only the night didn’t have to end.
“You know… I don’t have to be back until morning,” Rootspring finally said. “We could share a nest out here, under the stars.”
Shadowsight nuzzled him affectionately. “I’d like that.”