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Alec’s call was a blessing from gods.
It was an early evening, sun just finished dissapearing behind the lowest of Brooklyn builduings. Magnus toyed with a pen, making it spin in circles in front of him bored out of his mind, stuck on the translation for one of his clients when the phone called.
The pen landed on the floor, phone in his hand so fast, he must have conjured it.
„Hey” said Alec quietly and Magnus could hear the husk in his voice, the remains of hard day full of work.
„Hello, darling.”
„Are you busy?”
This question was not a rare one, especially with how dedicated to their work both of them were, but something in Alec’s voice touched him in an uneasy way.
„Not more than usual” he answered, pushing this dreadful translation out of the way, to the edge of the desk. „Why?”
„We’ve got a mission and I might need your help?”
That was interesting.
Magnus loved Alec, but Alec was a Shadowhunter and Magnus didn’t like Shadowhunters. At first he thought this romance, squicky affair would last a few weeks at most, because just the thought of this was ridiculous, idiotic even, some might say.
But somehow this, Alec, was different.
And they worked. They worked mainly because they understood that some parts of their respective worlds couldn’t be connected. Alec never came to him in official capacity and Magnus tried to pretend his boyfriend isn’t a Lightwood, as well as he could. It was easy, usually, because Alec, in all his brutal strength and strict upbringing didn’t have an ounce of Maryse’s insufferable, sick pride and Robert’s self-assertion.
And now he was asking Magnus for help on a mission, which was complicating things. A lot.
„Sweetheart, I’ll do what is in my limits” he finally settled on an answer.
There was a silence on the second end and Magnus could almost see Alec’s face, his brows pinched in focus.
„I think you’re going to like it.”
„Really?” asked Magnus with just a little hint of doubt.
„Mhm. We need to gather itel and our source is going to be in a club today.”
He waved his hand even though Alec couldn’t see it.
„Go on, darling.”
He could hear Alec on the another side, taking shallow, nervous breaths.
„I’m the one gathering intel actually. He needs to be distracted enough to tell me everything. So. I need your help. I need to look good enough, so the target would want to approach me on the dancefloor.”
Magnus made his chair spin with a flourish movement, so he could put up his feet on a desk, crossing his ankles.
„Alexander” he murmured lowly. „Let me make it clear. You want me to dress you up so you could go to the club and dance with another man?”
„When you say it like that it sounds worse than it actually is” Alec’s voice sounded drily amused. „But, essentialy, yes.”
Of course it would be that easy, with Alec. Magnus should have known.
„Hm. How much time do we have?”
„I need to be there in two hours.”
Magnus hummed, rubbing his chin, the shade of his few day’s stubble on his chin.
„That’s not a lot of time.”
„Aren’t you magical?” asked Alec. The boy knew exactly what he was doing.
„Touche.” Magnus’ lips popped in a pleased sound. „When will you be here?”
Instead of the answer Magnus heard the piercing ring of intercom echoing in the hallway. He moved one of his fingers, just the index one and felt Alec entering the building, coming inside the wards he spread from the outside door to the very core of his loft. He disconnected the call and stood up, abandoning the translation without even a hint of regret.
Alec was keyed into the wards so when Magnus got to the door, his Shadowhunter was already crossing the treshold, geared up, the blades shining on his thighs. He smiled at the sight of Magnus, reaching out for him, pulling hin close for a kiss.
„Hi again” Alec said, voice rough, warm palms still on Magnus’ face. „I missed you.”
They haven’t got a lot of time together lately. Alec’s new schedule was hectic, his team constantly on call, whenever they were needed. Last time Magnus saw him was in the middle of the night, when Alec sneaked out of their bed, planting a chaste kiss on his forehead and then dissapeared into the shadows of Brooklyn.
„Mm, missed you too.”
Alec kissed him once again, big palms warm on the low of his back. He grabbed the fabric of Alec’s ratty T-shirt, closer, he needed him closer. He could feel Alec’s lips opening, his body loosening, could hear Alec’s breathy moan, barely noticeable if he hadn’t been listening for it. He felt Alec’s hands on his heavy belt and his hips pressed close and Magnus could have just-
When Alec stepped back Magnus followed him almost on instinct.
„Sorry” said Alec, kissing him once more like a starving man and then leaving him cold once again. „Sorry, I really missed you, but right now we don’t have the time.”
He looked as if he gathered all his strength to say this, his cheeks filled with blood, eyes wide. Magnus looked at him with longing, just fot a second, and the nodded.
„Yeah.” They’ll find time later. They always do. „Either way we’ll have to end up in my bedroom so I’m not complaining.”
Alec huffed in a quiet, disbelievieng chuckle.
Magnus made a turn with a rather dramatic flare, allowing the heels to click loudly on wooden floors. Alec followed him through the loft, the one he knew like a back of his hand, not a hint of discomfort in his steps when he crossed the hall.
„You changed the walls” he said stepping into the bedroom. Last time he was here they were cerulean blue, quite matching thr colour of his eyes, whereas now they were dark, cinammon red, giving the impressions of power and secrets. Magnus also changed the windows and the vanity table, making the frame around the mirror frugal, covered in gold and similar in shape to victorian ones he looked into years ago. The only thing that stayed the same was the bed, the one Alec slept in, and the one Magnus couldn’t think of in any other way as in theirs.
„I’m dreadfully bored when you’re not around” answered Magnus in uncontrolled and painfully truthful way. One move of a finger and the heavy door to walk-in closet stood open allowing Magnus to dive in head first to cover this somewhat pathetic confession. „Mm, I don’t have time to come up with summoning something new for you, so we have to work with what I have.”
Alec was shorter a few inches and broader in the chest, his muscles always pushing buttons of Magnus’ shirts to the limit, but Magnus didn’t spend literal decades being a fashion icon just to fail in tailoring. Everything could be done. Magnus was magical after all.
„I thought undercover was your sister’s domain” he said looking through the clothes. He couldn’t see Alec from his position, but could hear his voice slipping into this specific kind of tone, of giving a report in front of a supervisor. He did it from time to time, some things too drilled into him to get rid of, even outside of the walls of the Institute.
„Our target is a gay male who has a certain type.”
„Is the type tall, dark and handsome?”
Alec huffed behind his back in the exact same moment in which Magnus found what he was looking for.
„Jace has said the same. Why all of you say this? Is it something I’m not aware of?”
Magnus grabbed the clothes, fabrics soft and dark in his hands. He finally came back to the main room, Alec standing at the feet of the bed, looking like he couldn’t belong anywhere else. Magnus really did miss him.
„I’ll explain it to you someday. We’ll have to watch James Bond.”
„Who?”
„You’re adorable” stated Magnus instead of answering, making Alec pout in annoyance. It didn’t cover slight blush going up his neck and hiding behind his ears. „What do we think about this?” he asked presenting the clothes.
Alec looked at the shirt with a heavy, thoughtful gaze. Magnus couldn’t tell what was wrong.
„You don’t like it” he said, lifting the shirt and scanning it thorougly.
Alec was a soldier, so his clothes mostly contained from dark and sturdy fabrics, meant to be used and not looked at. Even though he tried to experiment and absolutely loved some of Magnus’ less reaviling silk shirts, he still was Alec. And Magnus would never want to put him in something that would have made him uncomfortable, even if Alec would do it for his twisted sense of duty.
„I do” he said moving his fingers through the fabric. „It’s perfect.”
It was. Pefectly normal outfit, shirt tight but with all the buttons and not see-trough, jeans fitting just a little bit better than the pairs Alec was usually wearing. It would turn some heads if he showed up at the Institute like that, considering his sense of style, or rather lack of, but it wasn’t so shocking it couldn’t be forgotten.
„But not what you wanted.”
„Sorry” said Alec which was completely uncalled for. Magnus twisted his wrist and in a cascade of blue sparks the clothes dissapeared back in his closet.
„No need, darling. Just tell me what you have in mind and we’ll work from there.”
„I just thought it’ll be something more?”
Magnus popped his lips in confusion.
„More?”
„Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, this one was great, I just need it to be, you know, extra?”
„Darling, I adore you, but I would never say you are extra.”
„The guy must be so swooned or so drunk or preferably both to spill me his darkest secrets. Believe me. That’s why I need your help. It must be… sparkly, from a lack of better word.”
He made a very vague move towards Magnus pointing more of less to his whole person.
„I thought your siblings are going to be there?”
Alec looked at him with this incredolous stare, that sometimes Magnus still couldn’t manage to figure out.
„They are.”
Magnus raised his eyebrows.
„And you want to go all in?”
„Not you all in” clarified Alec. „Just me all in. Like in Madrid? That was fun.”
Madrid was fun. It was a few months ago, before Alec was reassigned, so they had a whole night just to themselves. Magnus remembered it more in snapshots and still pictures, just a blur of Alec’s dark hair and a smell of his cologne mixed with sweat. And Alec wore heels, black, knee-high boots, which was completely delicious. Magnus tried to convince him to do it once again ever since.
He just raised his brows and he could see Alec taking a moment and a deep breath, his chest moving.
„It is a gay bar, you know.”
And then it clicked in Magnus’ head, something he never asked Alec about, something so improbable in his mind he never even dared. Alec was sweet, Alec was different, but it didn’t change his heritage or his duty. Magnus was prepared to live in the shadows, in silence and maybe in shame, for a long time. Maybe even forever. Shadowhunters weren’t known for changing their ways, weren’t forgiving. The words were so unfamilar on his lips, they almost went numb.
„You want to come out.”
„No.” Alec squinted his eyes and Magnus’ heart constricted, just a little bit, just for one beat. „I mean, it’s not like I’m telling them. I’m almost sure they already know and none of us talk about it.”
Magnus just blinked, confused a little bit.
They’ve never actually talked about it either, about the big and scary Institute. They talked about the way, at the beginning Alec refused to hold his hand in public, the way he just naturally gravitated towards Magnus’s loft, no matter if they were at the park or a restaurant. One time, under the cover of the night, Alec confessed to this restrainig fear, this feeling of something being just wrong, and that he didn’t want something that felt so good to be also so terrifying. Magnus lived for a long time and saw many souls broken by the same fear and distaste for their own hearts.
Alec’s position was hard but he still had more possibilities than many boys that these feeelings have finally broken, centuries ago or even decades. One afternoon, when they were standind in the middle of Parisian street, Alec leaned in and just kissed him, in bright daylight and this kiss tasted like courage and like a promise of a future.
But the Institute and the rest of the Shadowhunters never even made it to their late night talks, not like that.
Magnus laughed.
„You Shadowhunters should really just try therapy, you know?”
„You wouldn’t want me any other way” said Alec and he smiled, just a little.
„I guess that’s true.”
They were already standing extremely close but in this moment Alec reached out with his hands, circling Magnus’ waist, pulling him closer. Magnus went willingly, embracing Alec’s neck, letting himself breath him in. He moved his palm across Alec’s temple, smoothing out the wrinkles of worry.
„Hm, I’m proud of you.”
Alec pressed his lips against Magnus’ skin, right above the collarbone, in appreciation.
„You could come with me. We would make it a date.”
It was a long time since they had time for a date. He moved his neck, just to look at Alec, their chests and hips still close.
„Will you wear heels? Like in Madrid?”
Magnus loved them. Usually Alec was shorter than him, just by three inches, and Magnus never was the one to complain about it. The way Alec could just sink into his body and prop his chin on Magnus’ shoulder was ideal. But with heels on Alec could lift Magnus’ chin up, just lightly and then press himself firmly over his body. It was rare for Magnus to find a man who could hug him properly and not the other way around.
Alec dropped his chin with laughter, his face shining in amusement.
„Yeah. Yeah, I will.”
„And you’re sure you want me there?”
„You could be… additional, secret backup.”
His blue eyes were shining in the dim lights of Magnus’ bedroom.
„And your date.”
„And my date. For later. We could dance.”
Alec didn’t dance often, just sometimes, when he was in the mood. Generous offer, he was making. Magnus kissed him, once again and again, because he finally could, after so many days.
„Mm. Sounds like a plan.”
&&&
When they emerged out of the portal Alec didn’t look like Alec and he swayed for a moment before regaining his balance. Magnus propped him by the elbow and then waved a hand to get rud of a portal.
„I hate portals” said Alec, straightening his clothes. He looked like he was preparing battle gear, checking the sleeves and collar and the snug fit of the boots. Magnus made sure they were extremely stable in ankles, fit for dancing, running and fighting alike.
„Watch it” answered Magnus already striding towards the exit of the alley and the queue they could hear gathering outside of the club. „It’s my baby, remember.”
Alec just mumbled something under his nose, following him closely. When they got to the narrow exit, Magnus let him take the lead, enjoying the shape of his long legs and strong calves, completely emphasized by knee-high boots, which were Magnus’ win of the day.
„Stop ogling me” Alec moved beside the queue, stopping next to the packed door.
„You know I can’t stop myself” he said, what made Alec blush, just lightly. It was almost hard to notice in the dark.
Magnus reached to the pocket, too small to actually fit anything and took out of it an open, long box, full of intricately looking joints, folded with visible care.
„You want one?”
Magnus smoked weird things as Alec managed to discover, from usual cigarettes to really suspiciously looking, purple leaves that Alec never dared to touch. But this was familiar, and just smelling nice, relaxing only by motion and the smoke curling around the tip in a beautiful way. Alec liked them after a hard day at work. Although he never said a thing, Magnus noticed and offered them freely, never expecting a refusal.
„Yeah.”
Magnus touched with his finger the tip of the joint, lightning it up, and put it forward for Alec to catch with his lips. Then he took two more and put it in the small pocket of Alec’s short, leather jacket.
„For later” he explained.
Alec took a deep breath, moving the joint between his teeth. He put it in between his fingers, smoke coming out of his nose.
„They’re going to be here any minute” he stated.
Magnus leaned in and touched the collar of his leather jacket. Alec entered his space shamelessly, kissing him in this breathtaking way, usual of his. When they separated, Magnus raised a hand to fix Alec’s bangs, mussed from wind and eager hand.
„I’ll be waiting in the corner. Behind the screens? They have a few tables like that.”
Alec raised his eyebrows comically high, looking as if he considered the thought at least terrifying.
„They have private booths here?”
Magnus laughed, loud and free. Alec wasn’t the same, shy boy he was when Magnus met him for the first time, but he still had very visible line between what’s acceptable and not, and private booths in a club were apparently too much.
„Not like that” countered Magnus. „I mean, it depends, how much you’d try but-„
„Please, don’t finish this sentence” broke in Alec, raising one of his long fingers directly in front of Magnus’ nose. Instead of answering, Magnus stuck out his tounge.
„You’re no fun. Find me later?” he said, already heading to the door.
„Mhm.”
&&&
„Oh my God” said Magnus when they were back in the house. „Oh my God.”
„That good, hm” murmured Alec mouthing his way down brown neck, covered with glitter and sweat, his voice tired, hands lazily resting on Magnus’s naked hips, caressing sharp bones and soft skin.
„You’re a menace.”
„Hm.”
„If I knew it would awaken such a beast in you, I would have made you come out a long time ago” he sighed, his arms circling Alec’s back, nails moving across pale skin, the sharp shape of his shoulderblades, the firm lines of his arms. Alec’s lips landed on his chest, on one of the collarbones, his hand wandering lower and lower once again.
„Don’t even think about it” Magnus looked at him, his eyelids heavy, gold of cat eyes shining in the darkness. „I can’t go again. Not now.”
„Pity.”
„Seriously.”
Alec’s smile was radiant in the dim lights of their bedroom, his face glowing.
„I can wait.”
He looked calm, he looked happy. Magnus saw him like that already in rare glimpses, far away from New York, where nobody could see them, where nobody could catch Alec being who he was. He never actually could decipher him, no matter how long they knew each other. Alec had a complicated relationship with himself; he never shared it with Magnus and Magnus never had the courage to ask.
Alec rolled off him, gently, letting Magnus take a breath first and settle, and then he laid closely, curling himself around Magnus’ body, one of his palm circling brown bicep letting them stay close and touching all the time. Magnus straightened his legs, stretching his thighs and calves.
„They liked you” started Alec quietly.
„They didn’t expect me” he countered, remembering Alec’s sister’s face, the weird look in his brother’s eyes.
„No. I think they were expecting someone” he paused for a while, obviously searching for the right word „tamer?”
Magnus huffed out a laughter.
„Who? An accountant?”
Alec looked almost offended.
„Boring” he curled his lips in distaste. „They didn’t expect me either, I guess.”
No, Magnus didn’t think they did. He was just as surprised to see this version of Alec tonight.
„Who would have thought I’ll meet them after you let yourself be pawed by some Seelie political wannabe.”
There was a moment of easy silence between them, at least until Alec started worrying his bottom lip.
„You know it was just for a mission, right?”
Magnus hummed.
„You were very respectful” he answered. „My honour was safe, I can assure you, darling.”
And it was true. Magnus couldn’t tear his eyes off him, when he danced, in fact, with another man, just like he said he’s going to. But Alec was smart, Alec was cautious, Alec was honest.
Magnus thought about Camille then, just for a brief moment, despite the promise he made to himself years ago. It wasn’t fair, to compare them, but for a moment Alec’s strong hands blended with Camille’s pale fingers, laying on Derwid Tambierns’s throat. But Alec didn’t pull him closer, as Camille would have. Alec just leaned in and talked and Tambiern let himself get caught, a stupid man that he was.
They weren’t new, weren’t fresh. Sometimes Magnus felt as if Alec crawled under his skin and decided to stay there, warm and smooth, so detached from the real world, so different. A private, peaceful heaven. But he didn’t feel stable, with his life at the Institute, his reality built on blood and on pain. Sometimes Magnus tended to forget how distant he could become, until he didn’t come to his home once again fitting back into Magnus’ life as a puzzle piece.
Alec just looked at him with squinted eyes.
Alec knew Magnus was cheated on, not once and not twice, and that it never hurt less, no matter the time and no matter the person. Magnus’ biggest loves were destroyed by someone else’s hands or hearts. But Alec never gave him a reason, the thought has never been there, in Magnus’ mind.
„I know” Magnus said finally, his hand on Alec’s face, rings silver against his pale skin. „I do trust you.”
It was weird, saying it and knowing it to be true.
Alec smiled, his hands warm on Magnus’, eyes bright.
„Good. That’s good.”