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It was nearly an hour past sunset when Karlach finally managed to get home. She usually tried to get home before sunset, hating the thought of Astarion having to spend any more time alone than he strictly had to. Keeping busy meant she had to stick to society’s standards for what a normal workday would be, but more often than not it meant leaving her vampire at home to hide away from the sun while she was gone. She had been working long days for the last three tendays. The separation during the daylight hours, when she was away, and the night hours, when he was free to roam but she had to sleep, was hurting them both.
She knew he was often awake and left bored during the day; needing only a few scant hours rest each day left him with too many daylight hours trapped inside. Staying in with him kept her from feeling like he was a bird in a cage, but being unable to do so recently was eating her alive inside.
She dropped everything at the door the second she was in, kicking her shoes off in a hurry and throwing her cloak to the corner where it landed just below the actual coat hooks. Her bracers landed somewhere in the closet, but she didn’t see Astarion yet, feeling giddy. It wasn’t like him to go out after sunset without waiting to see her first, but she wouldn’t have blamed him for not waiting up after she was late. Still, she was looking for him anyway in their small home with hope.
Just when she was feeling sure he had abandoned her to a lonely night in bed she caught sight of his foot, just visible around the corner to their small and almost entirely unused kitchen. There was no response when she called his name so she approached.
She had to bite her knuckles to stop from laughing when she laid eyes on him. Astarion was sprawled in one of their sitting chairs, slumped low in the seat with his arms hanging limp over the sides and his legs stretched out straight in front. His head was thrown back, closed eyes, facing the ceiling. It didn’t look particularly comfortable, so much as how one might land if they fell into the chair from a great height.
If the smell of alcohol wasn’t thick enough to give her a clue, the three bottles on the table were clear enough. Despite not being his drink of choice Astarion wasn’t a stranger to drinking in excess for the sake of drunkenness. Though she usually tried to keep drinking in the realm of a social activity, it was hard to argue that perhaps drinking a lonely day away sounded almost reasonable.
Still, drunk enough to be actually unconscious was a lot even for him.
“Fangs?” she said, quiet and testing while reaching to shuffle the bottles on the table. Two wine bottles were empty, the bottle of brandy was still half full at least, and his glass still had a few swallows left of brandy in it. She took a sip and grimaced, setting it just out of his reach. “Wakey wakey! Momma’s home.”
He uttered a soft groan, sluggishly raising a hand to rub his eyes. Karlach walked round to the back of his chair and leaned the heels of her hands on either side of his head, towering above him when he blinked his eyes open. He smiled up at her when the sight of her finally registered, unfiltered by drink. She patted his cheek softly and smiled back down at him.
“Been working hard while I’m away, have you?” she said with quiet admiration.
“Hm?”
“Drinking,” she elaborated.
“Oh,” he said, raising his head with a flop to look at their kitchen table solely devoted to alcohol. “Not working nearly enough if you’re asking. I can still string a sentence together.”
He reached for his glass but she caught his arm before he got far and he let her pull him back.
“Nah nah nah- I think you’ve had enough,” she laughed. “Don’t you want to remember spending the night with me?”
“Oh darling I’m afraid there’s no hope of that,” he said, words imprecise and just slurred enough to give him away, but looked back up at her with a pleased disposition.
“Then we’d better let you sleep this off,” she said with a chuckle. “You’re gonna regret this tomorrow.”
“Not if I simply keep drinking, then you miss the hangover entirely!” he said with manic enthusiasm, making a cheeky grab for his glass again before she snagged his arm again.
Karlach sighed, charmed despite herself and tucked his arm against his front while she rounded the chair to stand in front of him.
“You won’t join me then?” he asked.
“One of us has to be sober enough not to burn the house down,” she said, kneeling before him and folding her arms over his lap while resting her chin on her arms. He sighed and let his hands fall over her, resting imprecisely on her shoulders and petting at her hair.
“Wise,” he said. “But dull.”
“So what’s the occasion?”
“Does one need an occasion to drink in excess?”
“Most people call not having a reason ‘alcoholism’.”
“Lucky for me vampires can’t be alcoholics then,” he said with finality, his eyes drifting closed comfortably.
“Cool. Well it’s still bedtime for all little drunks I think,” she said with vigor and grabbed his hands, dragging him forward and over one of her shoulders. “Up we go!”
Astarion made a sound something like a hiccup when she hefted him out of the chair and over her shoulder, going limp and yielding under her manhandling. He muttered something she couldn’t quite catch, but she was already on the short jaunt towards their bedroom.
“Drunk babies get put to bed at a reasonable hour,” she said with cheer and jostled him on her shoulder, a quick toss upward to readjust him.
“If you shake the baby he will vomit I think,” he said thickly from somewhere over her shoulder.
She snorted but slowed her stride to the bedroom, choosing to bracket arm arms around him firmly before bending forward to gently lay him in their bed. The temptation to toss him was definitely not worth making him sick, no matter how fun it usually was to do. She settled him into the plush mattress, straightening his collar folding his hands comfortably over his belly.
“So what’s up then, why are you day-drinking without me?” she asked when she was finally done settling him into what she deemed comfortable enough.
“I would rather drink with you but you weren’t here,” he said, looking perfectly relaxed lying in stillness exactly as she left him. “But you were gone and I was starting to feel sorry for myself, so I decided I would drink to forget.”
“You’re sad without me?” she said, her heartstrings tangling.
“I was. And then I was drunk.”
“You’re still quite drunk.”
“I am! You’re sure you won’t join me?”
“Still a no from me.”
“Pity,” he tsked. “You’re a lovely drunk.”
“Am I?”
“Oh yes,” he said with certainty. “Very good at it.”
“Course I am, I’m good at everything.”
Astarion hummed in agreement, eyes drifting closed.
“You won’t even lay with me then?” he asked, petulance barely masked with indifference.
“‘Fraid I can’t, I’m a married woman.”
“Ooh even better, I do love an adulteress. Very naughty.”
“I bet ten gold you’re bluffing. No way you haven’t got whiskey dick.”
He took a deep breath as though to argue before deciding on a petulant groan instead.
“No bet,” he said. “What’s marriage like? I’m afraid I can’t quite imagine it in this cold, cold bed all alone.”
She huffed and sat on the edge of the bed, tucking her legs up with her knees against his side. He swatted ineffectually at the playful pinching of his cheek, but didn’t even open his eyes at the provocation.
“I was gonna bathe, but you stink of drink so we’re even.”
“How was your day? Any good murders?” he asked, hand raising and falling to rest on her legs.
“Oh plenty,” she chuckled and recounted her day in small anecdotes. His fingers idly tangled under the holes in her leggings while he gave the occasional hum of acknowledgement. She fingered a stray curl around his ears and chattered, basking in the comfort of their shared company.
“He was a real asshole, wish you’d been there to rob him while he was chewing me out. He was so distracted frothing at the mouth he wouldn’t’a noticed if his pockets were cleaned out in the meantime.”
“Mm.”
“You passing out on me, soldier?”
“Mm mm.”
“Well, you work on that hangover and I’ll work on forgiving you for being drunk and disorderly without me,” she said and leaned over to kiss his brow. “Love you, hubs.”
“So gracious,” he sighed, sounding far away.
“I am, aren’t I?”
“Mm. Beautiful too.”
She smiled and pressed her lips together, basking in his drunken honesty.
“What else?” she asked.
He was quiet for long enough she thought he might have been lost to unconsciousness, but finally chimed back in.
“Biceps,” he said faintly. “Very big.”
Karlach had to slap a hand over her mouth before a riot of laughter could escape her and fully rouse him.
“Thank you,” she said. “I worked hard on these. Anything else you like?”
“Red,” he said so quietly she nearly missed him saying it at all.
She tossed a blanket over him before leaving him to his rest, heading for a bath before she would come back to keep him warm for the night.