Work Text:
Furina bursting into his office unprompted is really nothing new.
“NEUVILLETTE! IT IS I, FURINA, GRACING YOU WITH MY MARVELOUS PRESENCE!”
Neuvillette glances up, then returns to his paperwork. He will acknowledge her when she concludes conversing in capslock.
“I have a proposition for you, and I think you shall enjoy this one!”
That was what she had said the previous time, which ended with Neuvillette stuck in a rotating washing machine. Needless to say, he did not, in fact, enjoy himself.
“Lady Furina, I am far too busy for your shenanigans. Please request the company of your other friends. I am certain Sedene would be happy to humor you.” She wouldn’t be. However, there’s not a lot she wouldn’t do for Neuvillette, so if he just asked nicely, perhaps she would acquiesce.
Neuvillette is really grasping at straws here.
“NO! It HAS to be you. I need a tall, strong, powerful male lead! You’re the only choice.”
A tall, strong, powerful male lead? “Lady Furina, what is going on here?”
Furina giggles. “I’m putting on a play, of course! And you are to be the star.”
“Lady Furina, you know I have no interest in such undertakings. Besides, I do not even know how to act, and I fear that I would not do your play justice if I were to be cast.”
“Justice. Hehe.”
Neuvillette gets the distinct feeling that a joke has been made, although he does not understand it.
“Anyway, that’s nonsense, Neuvi! You’ll be just fine. All you need to do is stand there and look pretty- er- handsome!”
Neuvillette feels the beginnings of a migraine coming on. He pinches his forehead.
“How long will this take?”
“Oh, don’t worry about it! Sedene’s already rescheduled all your trials for the day.”
“... What?”
It’s not too rare of an occasion when Clorinde comes down to the Fortress of Meropide. Usually, their meetups are well planned in advance, time carved out in both of their busy schedules for a cup of tea and gossip (read: intense bullying on Clorinde’s part) about Wriothesley’s love life.
Therefore, her unprompted appearance in the bowels of Fontaine raises some eyebrows. Specifically, Wriothesley’s.
“Have you been sent to get me? Is there some disaster happening in the overworld? Does Neuvillette need me?”
“So quick to jump to worst-case scenarios. Can I not come down here simply to spend some time with my best friend?”
“Aww, I’m your best friend?”
Clorinde doesn’t dignify that with a response.
“Right. Anyway. Would you like some tea?”
“Wriothesley, if I drank tea every time you offered it to me, I’d be 99% caffeine by now. Just boil yourself a kettle, because we both know you’re going to do it whether I agree or not.”
Sufficiently chastised, the Duke heads in the direction of his kettle. “None of this answers my original question. Why are you here?”
“To catch up with an old friend.”
“Uh huh. Okay. You’re hilarious. So why are you here?”
“Furina is putting on a play, and she’d like you to star in it.”
Wriothesley turns to look at her - fully look at her. “Out of the thousands of reasons you could have had for calling this meeting today, that is the last one I would ever have expected.”
“She’s been talking about it nonstop. It would drive a lesser man mad. For the sake of my sanity as her bodyguard, please accept the invitation.”
“Wait, what do you mean nonstop? How long has this been in the works?”
“You know how she is. She has her schemes and all.”
“Wait, what schemes? I thought I was participating in a play! Clorinde, what’s going on here?”
Clorinde’s face remains impassive. Solely due to the fact that Wriothesley’s known her for so long, he notices the slight upturn on the right side of her mouth.
“Filming is tomorrow at 6:00pm sharp in the Opera Epiclese. Do not be late.” Clorinde turns to leave with no flourish whatsoever.
“Wait, Clor! At least tell me what it’s about!”
Clorinde pauses, then turns slightly towards him and smirks. “It’s a ship, and you’ll be the first mate.”
On the rare occasion that Neuvillette swears, he doesn’t make it a habit to invoke Celestia’s name. However, if there is any time when it is appropriate to use such terminology, it would be now.
“Curse you, Heavens,” Neuvillette whispers pointedly at the nondescript air.
“Neuvi! I knew you’d come!”
Neuvillette turns to face the rapidly approaching Furina. “Please stop calling me that. My name is Neuvillette.”
“Okay, Neuvivi.”
Neuvillette looks to the heavens and begs them to end his suffering.
“Hmm,” Furina says. “Neuvivivi?”
“Lady Furina, I beg of you, do not waste my time. I have mountains of paperwork that I must file through in time for tomorrow’s trials.”
Furina visibly startles out of her ‘vivi’ reverie. “AH! Yes!” She turns to face the crowd with a dramatic flourish, as is Furina-typical. “It is time for us to commence filming of… drumroll please… The Fontainic!
“This play that occurs on a ship as grand as the Wingalet! An epic tale, full of quests and warfare, yet it ends a somber tragedy. You two are the perfect people to play the lov- er- heroes!”
You two?
Wriothesley comes rushing onto set, coat billowing in the wind. “Sorry I’m late. Sigewinne insisted on dressing me up.”
Ah.
Their first scene is set to be everything Furina described. In the water of one of the fountains just outside the Opera Epiclese, Neuvillette and Wriothesley are supposed to thrash among wood planks that resemble the remains of a ship that crashed into rocks at the shore.
It has just occurred to Wriothesley how ridiculous all of them must look. Well, he figures having three of the most powerful people in Fontaine in one place will scare most onlookers off.
“First Mate!” one of the extras Furina has hired screams, thrashing around in the fountain’s three feet of water. “Save me!!”
Wriothesley dutifully acts as he should, reaching to pull the man from the water and help him clutch onto one of the larger planks. However, he doesn’t let go. As Wriothesley turns back to the camera to deliver his next line, the man’s hand remains latched strongly onto his.
There is no way Wriothesley can shake off the hand, so he lets it be for the moment. He’ll sort it out afterwards.
“CUT!” Furina unexpectedly yells. “Neuvillette, what was that? You’re supposed to help the person behind you onto a plank, not stare at Wriothesley’s hand!”
Stare at Wriothesley’s hand?
“... ah. My apologies. I will endeavor to follow the script thus forward.”
Why was Neuvillette staring at his hand?
Before Wriothesley can do anything else, he feels a little water tentacle? prod his hand and the hand of the extra apart. Weird, but welcomed.
Neuvillette does not understand the purpose of the scene he and Wriothesley are currently filming. If Furina’s film is truly an action-packed thriller as she claims, why does it need such… intimate contact between the captain and the first mate?
Neuvillette stands at the prow of their ship, some schooner docked in the harbor that Furina has obtained the rights to for filming purposes, and extends both his arms to his sides, standing in a formation she described as a ‘T-pose.’
He seems to recall her mentioning something about it allowing individuals to ‘assert dominance’ over others. Neuvillette does not want to assert dominance. He just wants to do his paperwork.
The most inconvenient portion of this positioning is not his pose, it is Wriothesley’s pose behind him. When recording starts, he is supposed to come up to the Chief Justice, wrap his arms around his midriff and rest his chin on his shoulder.
Neuvillette really does not feel very comfortable with this. Perhaps he should request another actor to be cast for the role.
“ACTION!” Furina yells. Neuvillette sighs.
He can feel Wriothesley’s heavy footsteps on the board behind him, as well as the creaking of the boat as it rocks back and forth where it’s anchored.
“Neuvillette,” Wriothesley murmurs, quiet enough that the mic cannot pick up his words. “I know you’re nervous. I promise I won’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”
Neuvillette nods almost imperceptibly. Wriothesley takes that as his cue to move up right behind Neuvillette and put his hands on his waist, almost around but not touching.
He will admit. The sensation of having Wriothesley’s body so close to him is… nice. He can smell the man’s cologne from here, and overall the experience is not entirely unfavorable.
Wriothesley snakes his arms around Neuvillette’s waist and links them in front of his body, then places his chin square on Neuvillette’s shoulder.
“Hey, Neuv, look over there. Look at the expression Furina’s making.”
Furina is squinting through her camera with one eye, sticking her tongue out in abject concentration. It is quite a funny sight, and Neuvillette struggles to contain his laughter.
“CUT! Nice take, captain and first mate!”
Neuvillette realizes that Wriothesley has distracted him for the entire scene. It’s a pleasant realization.
“No. No. Absolutely not. Furina, what the fuck?”
“Wriothesley. Language.”
“Sorry, Neuv. Furina, what the falooda? I thought you told us this was going to be a thriller action movie!”
“It is!” Furina giggles, trying and failing to hide her smirk. “The captain does plenty of actions to woo the first mate. It’s a thrill for the audiences!”
Wriothesley glares.
“Wriothesley… it is fine. Let us simply complete the scene.”
“But… Neuvillette…!”
“I have far too much paperwork to do to waste any time in argument, and I am sure you do as well.”
“So you’re telling me you’re really going to strip down to lingerie and lounge on a couch while I pretend to draw you? All while on camera ??” Poor Wriothesley sounds bewildered out of his mind.
“I am sure it will be fine," Neuvillette reasons. "It’s unlikely to be seen by many Fontainians as it is. Furina, what is the general audience for your films?”
“Erm… the whole of Fontaine?”
‘It is not as bad as it could be.’ It is less of lingerie and more of a… bodysuit. Form-fitting, uncomfortable and shiny, yes, but it is not particularly revealing in terms of bare skin.
The color of the suit does match his rhinophores, though. It’s quite nice.
Neuvillette questions every decision that brought him here.
Wriothesley is setting up his ‘drawing station’ for the shot. Since the Duke cannot actually draw, Furina is going to have the shots be taken from angles that focus on Neuvillette (“and his luscious curves,” as she put it) rather than the actual art being produced.
Wriothesley looks incredibly red. Neuvillette wonders if the heat is getting to him. Although he is a dragon, he is not immune to the effects of high temperatures, and as a result he is incredibly red as well.
That must be the reason.
“Okay, ACTION!” Furina yells. Wriothesley immediately begins to sketch frenziedly.
Neuvillette lounges, Wriothesley draws. All in all, it is, surprisingly enough, a fairly boring scene.
When Furina gets her fill and yells CUT, she finally announces that their first round of filming is over. Thankfully, their next isn’t for a week, so Neuvillette and Wriothesley both have some time to recuperate from this taxing experience.
As the crews clean up their equipment, Wriothesley strolls up to Neuvillette.
“Your face is red. Are you embarrassed, Neuvillette?”
“I fail to see how one would not be in such a situation. These clothes are quite form-fitting.”
“See, I could understand with anyone else, but not with you. You’re gorgeous, Neuvillette.”
“... Gorgeous? Is that not a term normally reserved for describing human women?”
“Well, in this case, it’s the right word. This color suits you.”
“... Thank you, Your Grace.”
“Hey, I was wondering. Since we have filming at the same time next week, would you like to go get some dinner beforehand? Together?”
Would he?
Well, he quite liked the way he was flustered by Wriothesley’s close contact earlier. He’d like to experience more of such feelings.
“I would love that, Wriothesley. Thank you for the invitation.”
Wriothesley smiles. “I guess it’s a date.”
He leans in slowly, cupping Neuvillette’s chin. Neuvillette feels his heartbeat spike rapidly, and he leans in closer as well.
A throat is loudly cleared to their right. “Excuse me, gentlemen, I need to move this sofa.”
Wriothesley jumps away from Neuvillette with a start, then starts chuckling. Once he starts laughing, he just can’t stop. Neuvillette stares at him with a stony face for a second, then he starts chuckling as well. They double over, laughing so hard there are tears in their eyes.
They have truly found themselves in an absurd situation, haven’t they?
“So it worked,” Clorinde says.
Wriothesley sends his best death glare her way.