Chapter Text
The heat wasn't forgiving the past three days as Hisoka walked, carrying the body of his friends corpse. He started to produce a terrible smell because of his exposure to the heat but Hisoka didn't care to leave him behind, feeling too guilty each time the thought of just dropping him and leaving him there passed. He kept his grip tight on him, even when he tripped a few times from his heat exhaustion and thirst. His pale face was now a lobster red along with his shoulders; they seemed to almost sizzle painfully but he paid no mind to it, he was just focused on getting Chrollo back home.
After a few more hours, a city over the desert sands was seen, making him sigh shakily through his nose and moved faster the best he could. He wheezed through his chapped lips, gripping the cooking body tighter to his chest. As he got closer, Hisoka's eyes started to go out of focus, causing him to stumble side to side. He groaned as he fell to one knee, taking a shaky breath before standing again. His legs shook and threatened to give out from underneath him, seeing the town more clearly. He could see a few dispersed people walking around then green caught his eye; he inhaled sharply to try and call out but a violent cough came out instead, causing him to fall to his knees. He regained his breath again, trying to stand but his legs had already had enough.
He gritt his teeth, trying to force himself to stand, succeeding to the point of getting one leg forward and put his weight on it to push up. His leg immediately gave out and he fell forward right on top of Chrollo. He gasped and opened his eyes in alarm, rolling off of him but continued to hold him to his chest. The sun beat down on them both, Hisoka swallowing to try and wet his throat as he squinted up at the sky. He felt like giving up… But he knew Chrollo wouldn't like that… But he desperately wanted to see him again. His eyes finally started to droop closed slowly, wheezing out a slow sigh.
"Hisoka?!" His name was faint but he knew it was getting closer. He shook his head slightly, wishing whoever it was to go away. There were three silhouettes over him in a rush, the taller one leaning over him and checking him over, holding an eye open and feeling his pulse. He moved a hand to try and swat the invading hands away but instead it fell to his side pathetically. "Wait isn't that Chrollo? What is he doing here? How did they get out here in the first place?" Another voice. It sounded familiar in a way. "He's dead already. You guys take him while I-" Hisoka suddenly felt a serge of anger and strength go through him, tightening his arm around Chrollo and his other hand going to the nearest neck. The person gagged and choked and the other two were trying to pry him off.
"D-don't touch him! H-he stays with me!" He rasped out, his eyes bloodshot and wild. His eyes tried to focus to see the offending meat bag that wanted to take his friend away when it focused on another figure approaching from where he came. His face slowly relaxed along with his grip before eventually letting go and the person moved away, gasping for breath. The figure got closer until it stopped just in front of him and crouched down; they were smiling softly and it was very reassuring but he couldn't quite make out their face. Hisoka's own lips twitched up slightly into a smile when his eyes suddenly rolled into the back of his head and collapsed back against the sand.
••
When Hisoka woke up next, he felt soft sheets enveloping him and an aluminum tile ceiling above him. He blinked slowly with a deep frown, glancing to the side before turning his head to the right first. He could hear the heart monitor beeping before he actually saw it, looking up at it with an unamused stare. The next thing he turned his attention to was the bag of liquid next to it, following the line to where it ended going into a vein in his arm. His eyebrows furrowed, turning his head the other way to see the door leading out to the hallway. He moved to sit up, wincing under his breath and looked down at himself; he wasn't so red anymore and some of his wounds were patched up, now wearing a hospital gown and his hair was loose, falling over his eyes. He suddenly felt his heart stop, remembering a bit of what happened. Where was Chrollo? His breath hitched as he started looking around the room in a panic. The heart monitor started beeping louder with his quickening heartbeat, pulling the sheets off of him and tearing the needle from his arm, blood and liquid squirting from the wound. He wobbled over to the door when there was a man there in a black suit. Oh wait, he knew this man. It was Leorio.
"Hisoka what are you doing? Get back in bed." He said, keeping the door blocked and looking up at him. He must have grown from the previous time he saw him, he almost reached his eyes now. Hisoka shook his head quickly, trying to shove past him.
"N-no I need to find Chrollo..! He can't be alone..!" His voice was still weak from the lack of speaking, trying to push past Leorio again. The young man only gripped his shoulders, pushing him back into the room and closed the door.
"Hisoka you can't! Please get back in bed! I can explain what ha-" he barely dodged a vicious swing from Hisoka, moving and gripping his wrist before he could fall back to the ground. The attack was slow considering he still had some of the drugs in his system but it was still dangerous nonetheless.
"I said I need to go find him!" He shouted, his eyes looking pained and panicked as he tried to get out of Leorio's stronger hold.
"He's dead Hisoka!" Leorio shouted back, making Hisoka freeze and his eyes go wide. "You carried his body in from the desert! You had heat exhaustion and collapsed!" He continued, watching Hisoka's reaction. The door opened then, Hisoka's eyes shifting to it. Gon and Killua stood there, closing the door behind them as they stepped in. Hisoka blinked and looked away, remembering everything that had happened up until that point slowly relaxing his arms to his sides. Gon was the first to approach, a frown on his otherwise cheerful face.
"Hisoka." He said, putting his hand on his arm. Hisoka didn't look up from the ground to look at Gon, only continued to look down at the ground in shock. "What happened?" He asked after a minute. Leorio shifted closer to see if he would be able to direct him back to the bed. When he didn't resist he helped him back to his bed and sat him down. Hisoka willingly sat down but seemed to not have heard Gon at all who stood next to him now, Killua still by the door. Leorio looked at Gon with a slight frown when he didn't answer.
"I think it's too soon t-" he blinked and looked back to Hisoka when he gripped his wrist lightly. This was very surprising to the three, seeing Hisoka like this and not his usual self. Hisoka felt he could trust these three. Just this once if possible.
"How… Long was I out…." He muttered. Leorio glanced at his two friends then back to the magician.
"Almost a week. You were in bad shape." He answered. Hisoka nodded his head slightly before letting his wrist go.
"I see… Uh… I'm not sure where to start…" Hisoka sighed shakily, rubbing his face shakily. He started second guessing himself to trust them, frowning deeply and glanced down at the floor. Then again… he didn't exactly want to be alone. Since Chrollo was the one that was always there when he needed someone. He felt that terrible lump form in his throat, swallowing it the best he could and covered his face to try and hide the tears. His shoulders shook from his effort, eventually a small noise coming out of him, making the three tense and watch Hisoka in horror. The man they knew to be ruthless and power hungry was now unraveling in front of them, shedding tears and making the most pitiful noises. Killua moved back to the door to lock it and pull the blinds out of respect before moving to join Leorio and Gon next to Hisoka.
"You… Don't have to share with us Hisoka." Leorio said softly, as he looked at him, worry all over his face as he watched one of the most feared man he knew. He honestly never knew Hisoka had a weakness and it was a sad weakness. He obviously cared about Chrollo but he wasn't sure to what extent.
"Ghn…! H-he was my best friend…! Hng…! A-and I killed him…! Uhn…! I-I realize now I've made a terrible mistake…! I want him back! I-I want my best friend back!" Hisoka suddenly started sobbing loudly like a child who had gotten themselves lost, making everyone tense up again. No one was sure what to do when Gon was the one to step forward first and put a hand on his shoulder. It was gentle and sincere, understanding as he stood over him. They all knew how hard it was to lose a good friend but didn't understand the struggle with Hisoka. It seemed to run deeper than that, making their hearts heavy with remorse, even if Chrollo killed many of their comrades and even their friend Kurapika. Hisoka covered his face and sobbed into his hands, biting his lip to try and calm himself down but failed before choking out another sob, leaning over his legs as he shook. The three let him cry, unable to move or give him any sort of comfort that wouldn't upset him further.