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Doctor & Sigerson's advice column
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
When I receive a nice gift, I feel the best way to acknowledge it is to write a thank you letter. Can you please tell me how to do one? When I try to put my thoughts down on paper, I get stuck.
Dear Stuck
I have been advised by a dear friend of the correct way to write such a note. I’m only going to say this once. Buy a blank card and write this inside: big T, little h, little a, little n, little k, SPACE, little y, little o, little u, full stop.
Sigerson
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
Twice I've walked into the bathroom to find my husband masturbating. What should I do?
Dear Inconsiderate
Knock
Sigerson
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
How should I ask someone why they have prosthetic limbs?
Dear Reader
As that person’s new doctor, you can ask outright. If you are not that person’s doctor, you have no business asking.
Doctor
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
My husband doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore. Do you have any ideas how to spice up our love life?
Dear Reader
Why not try dressing up, fantasy can spice up anyone's love life. My partner likes pirate hats.
Doctor
I've found smearing yourself with strawberry jam also works.
Sigerson
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
My dog ate my shoe what should I do?
Dear Poet
Buy a new pair.
Sigerson
Dear Doctor & Sigerson,
The boys I let my first floor flat too seem to make a terrible mess and one even keeps body parts in the fridge with the food! Help me, I'm at my wits end.
Dear Reader
If your name is Mrs Hudson just tidy around the body parts. Oh and the rug could do with a vacuum.
Sigerson
If you're not Mrs Hudson. Get out of your flat and call the police.
Doctor