Chapter Text
June 29th
It was nearly midnight when Wooyoung entered his room in the dorm, sitting down on his bed with a sigh. He didn't bother to turn on the lights. The room was small enough to navigate through it in the dark and big enough to fit all of his personal belongings.
It wasn't too long ago when he would share a medium sized room with two of his bandmates - Jongho and Yeosang - and wished for more privacy. A few months ago, all eight members were able to move and split into three different dorms.
Now he was stuck with Hongjoong and Jongho, secretly fangirling over the thought of still living together with their leader. But these days he found himself lonely in the evenings, returning to a silent dorm that would've been filled with laughter if all eight of them were still living together.
Wooyoung quickly got rid of his boots and changed into his pajamas, walking into the bathroom with barely open eyes. He was tired - a few hours ago they finished up their dance practice to "bouncy", their upcoming title track of a new album.
"Hyung, I need to use the toilet" Jongho knocked at the door and Wooyoung hummed as he quickly finished up. As he opened the door, Jongho let out a relieved puff of air and stormed into the now empty bathroom. Living together with his two bandmates was fun, but he felt lonely nonetheless.
He hadn't considered dating until now, being to busy with their tour and comebacks in between. But nowadays he found himself longing for another soul he could share his deepest thoughts with. Someone who would hold him at night and reassure him whilst he ranted about his problems. Someone who would understand him.
San.
His best friend was the only one who was able to calm him down after an especially long and hard day. He would hug him tightly whilst rubbing over his back, whispering encouraging words in his right ear. They shared everything.
And somehow along the way he fell for his best friend. And he fell hard.
"He's an idiot if he hasn't picked up on your feelings yet", Hongjoong said to him only recently when they sat together at dinner with Jongho. "Maybe he doesn't want to pick up on them", Wooyoung had mumbled in response as he picked up another rice cake. Jongho and Hongjoong had laughed at that and shook their head.
Falling in love with San was easy, being in love with San was hard.
Wooyoung has made his inner peace with the fact that the both of them were destined to be
best friends forever - hence the tattoo both of them got a few years prior - and nothing more, nothing less. It hurt him - his heart ached whenever San and him spent time alone. It longed for him, a man he would never be able to call his.
As he made his way back to his room, he swiped through instagram reels and mentally cursed himself as he stumbled upon an edit of a San fancam. He felt himself blushing and quickly swiped. Back in his cozy bed, under a few layers of blankets, he continued his stroll through social media. When he opened twitter, a pink ad in the middle of the screen caught his eye.
Normally he would ignore them, but the yellow lettering on it grabbed his attention. Find your match. It's destiny. Before he could think about it, Wooyoung found himself creating an account. The promise of finally finding someone - someone whose name wasn't San - made him hopeful.
Find-your-match
Wooyoung smiled.
_____
June 30th
Find-your-match
You matched!
A slight gasp escaped his lips, followed by a small giggle. Well, that was fast. When he downloaded the app last night he didn't expect to have so much fun swiping through different profiles. Most of them had pictures added to them. He had refrained from doing so - Idols and dating apps? He huffed out a laugh.
He had shown interest in only a few men, all of them surprisingly without pictures of themselves. MountSun had matched with him and a smile formed on Wooyoung's lips. The unknown man had little in his bio - 25, searching for the ying to my yang, fitness and health, I can be funny - but Wooyoung found himself drawn to the info he had to offer.
YoungBean
...hi?
MountSun
hello there :)
I see we've matched
YoungBean
yesyes
you seemed quiet nice in your bio
MountSun
I AM quite nice
I guess
I can be mean if you want me to
YoungBean
wait
MountSun
pretend like u just didn't read that
please
YoungBean
fine
...what's your favorite color?
MountSun
???
Purple
YoungBean
nice
I like black
MountSun
You're pretty bad at small talk
YoungBean
:(( I know
It just feels awkward texting someone random
MountSun
I feel that
First time using dating apps?
"Wooyoung-ah, we need to get going now!", Hongjoong shouted from the living room. Wooyoung could hear the leader’s steps as he made his way towards his room. His head peaked inside, spotting Wooyoung hastily scrambling his stuff together and dropping everything in a big bag.
"Ready", the younger responded as he grabbed the bag. Together with Jongho, they made
their way to their manager who waited in the car already. Wooyoung tried to suppress a yawn but failed miserably. Hongjoong shot him a quick glance. "You need to sleep more, Young-ah. I don't want you fainting on stage." He softly pat his shoulder as he climbed into the car.
They were supposed to film for a variety show today, so Wooyoung pinched himself to stay awake. As he got his makeup done in their waiting room, he couldn't help but glance towards San who was busy entertaining himself on his phone, so he proceeded to do the same.
YoungBean
Yeah
I just downloaded this one
MountSun
So I'm your first match?
YoungBean
yes
and it was pretty fast too
MountSun
just happened to use it rn
I was bored
YoungBean
it's midday
don't you work?
MountSun
I do
just not...now
like technically yes
but I'm actually just waiting rn
YoungBean
lol same
trying to not fall asleep
MountSun
you sleepy?
take a nap then
YoungBean
can't
I look too good rn
MountSun
lmao
YoungBean
they'll be mad if I ruin my makeup
MountSun
you're wearing makeup rn?
are you an actor?
YoungBean
you could say so
except I'm not
but it feels like it
As the staff called out their names, he forced a smile onto his lips, trying not to think about what he'd just told the stranger. He might not know Wooyoung yet - and therefore didn't know how heavy the words weighted he just typed out - but he made him feel like he could open up about his feelings. A real smile now bloomed on Wooyoung's lips.
_____
July 1st
MountSun
sorry for leaving you on read
I had to leave :(
YoungBean
it's fine!!
MountSun
you fine though?
you sounded pretty sad yesterday
YoungBean
no everything is alright :)
sometimes I say weird stuff when I'm sleepy
MountSun
it wasn't weird though
I get what you mean
YoungBean
you do?
MountSun
sometimes I feel like I'm giving up on myself
for the self I rather should be
YoungBean
yes
...I didn't know you feel like that as well
MountSun
I usually don't share that with strangers over text ;)
YoungBean
I'm special then
MountSun
Indeed you are
As he made his way into Jongho's room to search for his charger he probably left there yesterday, Wooyoung spotted familiar eyes locking with his. San was sitting on Jongho's bed, playing some game on the playstation with their maknae.
"I didn't know you were coming over", Wooyoung said as he grabbed the charger from the desk. He turned back towards San and seated himself next to him on the bed. The older pulled him against his side, pressing a small kiss onto his head.
"I didn't know either, but Jongho basically begged me to play games with him." Wooyoung tried to focus on San's words, his mind occupied with the fact that he could feel San's strong body against his side. Please don't let him blush now.
He placed his right hand on San's neck, absently massaging him slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. "You should've texted me. If I knew you were coming over, I would've left some food for you." San was in love with everything he cooked and never left out a chance to let him know how good it tasted. Every time he did so when the eight of them were eating together, he could see Seonghwa playfully rolling his eyes as he shot Hongjoong a knowing look.
Yeosang and Yunho were oblivious, deep into a conversation on whatever movie they wanted to watch next. Mingi always watched Wooyoung and San closely, as if he wasn't sure of what to think about them. But that was the thing. There was nothing going on.
And it drove Wooyoung crazy.
_____
July 2nd
YoungBean
I'm bored
entertain me
MountSun
huh
YoungBean
you've read that right
MountSun
...
what do you call a fly that cannot fly?
YoungBean
really?
dad jokes??
MountSun
you wanna know it or not?
YoungBean
fine
...a not-fly?
MountSun
a walk
Wooyoung's phone slipped out of his grip and fell onto the bed. He landed next to it, laughing about the bad joke MountSun just had told him. Wooyoung felt happy, thankful for the man - he didn't ask him questions to which he didn't even know the answer himself. ("You're bored, why's that? No one who could ease your loneliness right now?")
A knock on his door made him sit up again. "Can I come in?" "Sure" San was standing right in front of him now, dressed casually in just a black tank top and grey sweats. He pressed a kiss onto Wooyoung's head again as he plopped onto the bed next to him. It was his usual way of greeting the younger, but Wooyoung felt his heart rate pick up again.
Stupid heart.
"Did Jongho call you over again to game with him?", Wooyoung asked, eyes not quite meeting San's. The older's brows furrowed, slightly taken aback by the question. "No, I wanted to hang out with you." Wooyoung smiled at that and grabbed his laptop.
Soon they were laying in bed - San behind Wooyoung, because he preferred to be the big spoon - and watching rapunzel. Cuddling came easy to them, skin ship being something
both of them enjoyed with each other.
The past few months were especially hard on Wooyoung though. As much as he treasured the time together with San, it hurt his heart just the same. He would never be able to cuddle with San as something different than best friends. Best friends. That's what they were.
San was Wooyoung's first kiss. He didn't tell him, of course. It happened over five years ago, when they were a lot more childish and inexperienced. The older had dragged him to the next convenience store, determined to celebrate the adulthood with some bottles of Soju. It was stupid, it really was. In hindsight Wooyoung wasn't even surprised that they kissed. Both of them shared the bottles as they played some stupid board games.
"If I win, I get a kiss", Wooyoung had said with a laugh, in the midst of their memory game. "Sure", San grinned, causing his dimples to pop out. And Wooyoung did win. "You can't beat me", he said as he proceeded to collect all cards. When San didn't answer, he looked up - right as San leaned down to press a quick peck against his lips. Wooyoung's eyes comically widened as San sat right in front of him again, seemingly unimpressed with what had happened just now.
His lips were so soft and for a moment Wooyoung found himself wondering about when he would be feeling them on his again.
It was then that he realized that he was truly and utterly fucked.
And now, with San pressed against his back and one hand casually drawing circles on his arm, he found himself remembering the instance. "I can't believe Rapunzel was dumb enough to trust that old woman. As if he would betray her", San rasped out behind him, causing Wooyoung to snap back into reality.
He hadn't payed attention to the movie for a while now, but he had seen it enough times to be able to answer immediately. "Right? I can't believe it either. As if he would leave her behind after basically confessing all of his feelings." He felt San nod against his back. Wooyoung prayed San could neither feel his extraordinary fast heartbeat nor his heated skin.
"Sometimes love turns your rational thoughts into fears. Maybe Rapunzel is so in love that she's blinded by lies.", San mumbled, drawing bigger circles onto Wooyoung's back. The younger suppressed the urge to distance himself, the feeling overwhelming him even more. "Sometimes love might hurt us more and does more damage than we're capable of handling.", San continued in a whisper.
Wooyoung's heart clenched.
_____
July 3rd
MountSun
please don't hate me
YoungBean
I don't!!
sorry for leaving you on read
I went out to eat something with my flat mates in the evening
MountSun
you live together?
YoungBean
yess
my two idiots and me
MountSun
I live together with two other idiots as well
they cute
but idiots
YoungBean
omg twinning
so you three work together or?
MountSun
yeah we do
it's fun
YoungBean
oh my god??
it's the same for me
MountSun
coincidence? I believe not
YoungBean
we're destined to be together
marry me
MountSun
that's illegal though
YoungBean
that's not a no
MountSun
..it's not
but let's slow down a bit
YoungBean
:((
MountSun
maybe you're an old perverted grandpa
YoungBean
I AM NOT
MountSun
THAT'S WHAT AN OLD PERVERTED GRANDPA WOULD SAY
YoungBean
NO
maybe
but I swear I'm not
MountSun
I believe you
YoungBean
:)
MountSun
for now
YoungBean
:(
Wooyoung was so grateful for MountSun. He looked forward to texting with him every day. Even though they barely knew anything about each other, Wooyoung felt connected to him in a special way. He seemed to get him and his thoughts like no other.
Like one other.
It was almost shocking how much the both of them had in common. They texted about games for quite a bit, both of them interested in the same genres. Suddenly Wooyoung didn't feel so lonely anymore.
_____
July 5th
Wooyoung was sitting in the car on his way to dance practice as he found himself checking for new messages of MountSun. What a weird name.
His muscles still ached from yesterday's practice but he looked forward to today. In a few hours they would discuss who would get the killer part of bouncy and Wooyoung was determined to prove himself worthy of it. "Excited?", Hongjoong asked him with a grin, knowing what occupied the younger's thoughts. Wooyoung nodded with a small smile.
"I'd love to do that part", San said as the eight of them found themselves sitting in a circle in their practice room. Mingi nodded, approving it. Wooyoung cleared his throat, gathering up the courage to say something. "If it's fine with you all, I would like to try for the part as well."
Hongjoong smiled and patted his back. "Of course." Wooyoung could feel San's eyes on him but he didn't dare to look at him. San must be mad now, having competition for a part he wanted since the beginning. ("I need that part, Woo. It's made for me", he told the younger with a big smile. Wooyoung showed him a thumbs up, not wanting to tell San that he was just as eager.)
In the end, Hongjoong, Yeosang, Yunho and Jongho wanted Wooyoung to get the killer part, whilst Mingi and Seonghwa sided with San. Wooyoung looked at him and could see that he was visibly disappointed.
"San, are you okay?", Yunho asked him concerned. San just shot him a look. Hongjoong huffed out a dry laugh. "San, talk to us. Something is clearly bothering you, ever since Wooyoung mentioned that he wants to try for the same part."
"So you all are fine with it? Just like that? All of you knew how much I wanted to take over that part" San's eyes were dark, so unlike his normally soft brown orbs. Wooyoung swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling tight. "I'm sorry, Hyung. I don't want you to be mad." "I'm just disappointed in me.", San dryly replied and made his way into the changing room.
Hongjoong motioned for Wooyoung to go after him, so he did. San was washing his face hastily as Wooyoung entered the space slowly. "I'm never fast enough, am I? Or good enough?" The older dried his face and Wooyoung could spot his red eyes. Did he cry? Because of me? "Hyung", Wooyoung started, unsure of what to answer. "Don't" San shook his head softly and Wooyoung closed his mouth again. "It's fine."
Really?
MountSun
I am so busy
hate it
YoungBean
you're alive??
nice
MountSun
well yes??
I've just been busy again
YoungBean
is your job that stressful?
MountSun
kinda, yes
I mean I love it
but it's hard to give your best 24/7
YoungBean
our jobs sound sm alike
MountSun
I guess they're not though
YoungBean
sure?
what do you do for a living then?
MountSun
I'm not sure if I should tell you
YoungBean
as long as you're not a serial killer
MountSun
:)
YoungBean
bro
MountSun
I'm not
YoungBean
everything is fine then
go on
MountSun
I work in the entertainment industry
YoungBean
you're a comedian??
the fly joke was pretty bad then
MountSun
I'm not a comedian
I'm kind of a singer
YoungBean
you're a singer?
that's why you're not showing yourself
MountSun
you won't show your face either
YoungBean
because I'm an idol
MountSun
???????
YoungBean
that shocking??
MountSun
and you're out here just telling me that??
isn't that dangerous?
YoungBean
maybe
maybe not
you don't know who I am
I could be j.y.park
MountSun
you better not
but it's dangerous nonetheless
YoungBean
why???
MountSun
because I know what it's like
YoungBean
Huh
MountSun
I'm an idol too
Wooyoung gulped and stared at the message for what felt like an eternity. An idol? Like me? He couldn't help but wonder if MountSun was being honest. Did he know him? He met many idols at concerts and award shows, some of them being his closest friends. A blush crept up his cheeks. I've probably met him before.
"Young-ah?", Hongjoong called out as he entered the younger's room. "Wanna grab something to eat? I'm starving." Wooyoung nodded and tossed his phone into a bag as he grabbed his coat, the conversation with MountSun long forgotten.
"Don't get in trouble" His leader looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "And don't fall too fast, after all you don't even know what he looks like." Wooyoung lowered his eyes, picking up some noodles with his chopsticks. "But I think it's time to move on." At that Hongjoong huffed out a laugh. "Hyung?" "Nothing", he laughed as he continued to eat the ramen in front of him.
The older obviously wanted the best for Wooyoung. They were close - so close, that atiny started to refer to Hongjoong as his dad - and his heart warmed at the thought.
But he couldn't help but feel disappointed that he didn't want Wooyoung to meet someone else right now. ("Be careful with giving out personal information on the internet recklessly. More and more people seem interested in our business these days.", the leader told him with a stern voice. "Besides, you should just shoot your shot with San. You never know if he might reciprocate those feelings.")
As if.