Chapter Text
The first time Henry realized his parents didn’t love him, didn't even like him, was when he was 11 years old.
That was also the first time Henry realized getting punched in the face hurt like hell.
It wasn’t like it was the first time he was hit for misbehaving, but he’s never hurt like this. Henry was used to a light spanking or getting sent to bed without dinner. He wasn’t used to the pure hatred he saw in his Mom’s eyes when he looked up at her from the floor clutching his bleeding mouth. Tears welled up on his lash line as a brief passing of shock struck his Mother's eyes as she started leaving Henry's room, having forgotten why she got mad at him in the first place. Leaving her sobbing little boy coughing up bits of blood as a tooth sat in his lap. It was his last baby tooth and he could only look down at it in horror. He was so excited to finally lose all his baby teeth only a week ago when the tooth started wiggling. Now he wanted nothing more than to put the tooth back in.
Henry thought if he just stayed there on the floor surely his Dad would come get him for dinner, or maybe when Peter came home from his sleepover he’d check up on him. Maybe if he put his tooth under his pillow then the tooth fairy would come and ask if he was alright. But Henry didn't hear any knocking at his door, Henry went to bed that night without dinner, and when Henry woke up the next morning to a throbbing jaw and looked under his pillow to see the bloody tooth still sitting there, a bit of red slightly staining the sheets… he feared no one cared for him at all.
But that was 4 years ago and looking back on it Henry thought about how juvenile he really was, cause turns out getting punched in the face, while hurts like a bitch, wouldn’t be the worst thing that his parents would do to him.
The punch on that day 4 years ago was the catalyst of Henry developing a more complicated relationship with his parents and everyone around him. He knew he could be annoying and misbehave quite a bit, and before the physical abuse started his parents made sure to remind him every chance they got how horrid he really was. They still do, but instead of it being followed by a loud yell of being sent to his room, he was usually slapped or pushed, the worst was when he was on the floor with raining kicks coming down on him. It didn’t take long before he started flinching at the mere mention of the word Horrid, like a Pavlov dog. Except instead of being excited about getting food he had to worry about how long his Mom and Dad thought he could go without it.
Then there was his relationship with Peter. Henry loved Peter, but sometimes he hated him too. After the abuse started Peter, being 8 years old, didn’t pick up the weird shift in Henry’s attitude or the tension in the room whenever he was in close proximity to his parents. So therefore, he just continued to act the way he did, and Henry was so incredibly envious of him.
Why does Henry have to be insulted and beaten everyday while Peter just gets praises and gold stars? Why does Henry have to go days without food while his brothers allowed a second helping of dessert?
Henry’s thought about telling Peter before, about how he needs to stop snitching on Henry so he could avoid getting hurt. But Mom said that if Henry ever told anyone what was happening, especially Peter, he would end up in the hospital and wish he listened to his parents (“who do absolutely everything for him” as his mom would remind him). Not to mention the fact absolutely no one would believe Henry. His reputation as a troublemaker has stuck with him over the years, though he tries not to bother his brother or other direct family members, Henry will be the first to admit he can be a menace at school. He never does anything too bad, nothing that his parents would get called for. But he talks when the teachers are talking, he forgets about homework, and he never sits still. Not to mention his ongoing rivalry with Margaret.
It doesn't help that since Peter is still young and doesn’t understand what's going on so he still tattles on him. Henry knows that his brother isn’t actually being malicious, but God, how he wishes sometimes that little worm would just shut up. Whenever Peter does snitch, next to the growing fear of his parents footsteps thudding against the floor, a slight hatred is present as he glares at him. But Henry doesn’t actually hate him, in fact, if Mom and Dad ever thought to raise a hand against Peter (not that they ever would) Henry’s confident he’d gladly take the punishment instead. He’s already used to it so why not?
Next to his complicated relationship with Mom, Dad, and Peter, there's Margaret. Margaret and Henry aren’t friends and most likely never will be, but when it’s late at night and Henry knocks on Margarets clubhouse door, she opens it to him. They don’t say anything to each other, they don’t even greet each other. Margaret simply looks at him, can see he’s had a bad night, and lets him sleep on a beanbag in the corner. They don’t talk about it the next morning, they never do, instead they just pretend nothing has happened at all. Like Henry showing up at his rivals door, tears streaming down his cheeks and a growing bruise somewhere on his body where no one can see is simply just a strange dream they both shared. If Margaret knows about the abuse she doesn’t say anything and Henry’s glad. He much prefers simply crashing in a place where he knows his parents won’t get to him instead of being questioned repetitively by someone who “cares”.
But there’s only one person who cares, and that’s Ralph. Even thinking about him makes Henry’s heart race. He doesn’t know when he started to realize that maybe his possessiveness over him wasn’t just because they were such good friends. In truth, Henry is in love with him. He was in love with his best friend of over ten years and he hates it. He hates the way that Ralph smiles at him every time they walk to school together, he hates the way his heart flutters when he listens to Ralph rant about fashion or something else he’s passionate about. He hates the way that Ralph still looks at him like he’s never done anything wrong. He wants to scream at him, “why do you still look at me like I'm not the worst person in the world? Why do you still hold my hand when my body is dirty with bruises?” Sometimes he wants to beg Ralph to never talk to him again. “Please,” he wants to say. “Please, I don't want you to be infected by me. Please, don’t let me ruin everything good about you just for my own selfish needs.”
But Henry stays silent, because Henry is Horrid and selfish and refuses to let go of the one good thing in his life.