Work Text:
Here we are again
On the dark side of my mind
Seeing only the bad things
And everything good stays behind
My weight is going down again
And I cry myself to sleep every night
Because I only see darkness
It's like someone turned off the light
I can't get out of bed again
I stay under the covers until noon
And just try to imagine
It will all be over soon
I'm skipping breakfast again
I'm calling it a brunch
But there's not much on my plate
And it's 12 pm, so it's just lunch
I'm wearing a mask again
With bright eyes and a fake smile
With blush and mascara
And it won't come off for a while
I'm hurting myself again
You can see it on my arm
But I will always hide it
No one knows about the self-harm
I'm hating myself again
My personality and how I look
So I'm hiding behind my computer
Or my phone, or a book
I'm lying and being silent again
My stories stay in my head
I only talk when you ask something
But a lie comes out instead
I go to sleep too late again
And I can't figure out why
usually, it's around 2 am
When I finally close my eye
My mind is going dark again
It's a lonely and scary place
But I bet you can't even see
The changes in my voice or face
The change from laughing to smiling
The change from daydreaming to staring
The change from 'yes' to 'mhm'
And the change from trying to not-caring
The change from 'hello' to 'hi'
The change from safety to danger
The change from lemonade to water
And the change from a daughter to a stranger
~ 10.12.2022