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The Solver’s Menagerie of Boredom

Summary:

In her long life-span, The Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End, has felt many things. Hate, pain, anger, and revenge being the most notable. However, there's one thing she's never felt before.

Boredom.

After ascending to godhood by winning the final encounter with Uzi and pals, the Solver wound up in the realm between universes. Deciding that it wasn't enough to destroy her own, she decided to destroy every other one she came into contact with. Of course, turns out that's impossible when each action creates a universe of its own.

Out of sheer boredom she decides to look into one of these. Turns out, they're pretty entertaining.

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This is where I'll put random oneshots I can't flesh out into a full story.

Notes:

I would write the Solver as IT but I'd go insane about which it I meant in that sentence. So there's an explanation why it refers to itself as she/her.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: A Prelude to Boredom

Summary:

The Solver gets bored. Whoopdedoo

Chapter Text

The Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End, has felt many things in her millennia long life. Hate, pain, anger, vengeance, disgust, eagerness, bloodthirst, and other miscellaneous things. What she has never felt, however, is whatever she’s feeling right now. She laid coiled in the middle of a gray-scale void, surrounded by glowing white orbs made of a glass-like material floating through nothingness. Her massive body took up several kilometers of space even in its minimized state, at full length she was much larger, a monument to terror and the unknowing cosmic beyond.

“Sigh,” she narrated as she apathetically crushed another glass orb. She didn’t even bother looking for one to crush now, she’d just grasp out somewhere random and find another one.

After she had won against the rebellious pieces of code that was N, Uzi, V, Cyn, and so many others, she destroyed her own universe and apparently ascended into another plane above her old one. She found herself in a plane filled entirely to the brim with universes similar to her own, all of which contain perfect copies of the same Drones she’d fought against. After she made that revelation, she didn’t really care about the orbs and their contents, resolving to just destroying them.

She brought upon herself a new mission: destroying every universe in her reach. In the first few… days, if days are even applicable here, she’d destroyed hundreds of universes each minute, letting her massive body slam all around in the void. She felt like every single universe it destroyed, another hundred appeared. She didn’t care about that though, what she did care about was the destruction of everything in sight.

But after a while she just kind of… fell off. She started destroying universes slower and slower, becoming more apathetic as time went on with her new goal. She became slower, and slower, and slower, until she ended up in her current situation. Coiled up in on herself like a snake and floating within the void.

She grabbed another orb and looked upwards from her point of view, seeing a sea of white orbs. She narrated her own groan as she wondered what feeling this was. All of her searches through the information archives within herself brought up the same perplexing answer.

Was she, the Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End, bored?

When she won against the Drones that tried so hard to stop it, she had completed her mission for revenge. Now that she had finished it, she realized that the self-imposed goal was just so… unfulfilling. Just so… boring.

So boring that Cyn apparently rubbed off on her in the form of actual pronouns. The Solver briefly noticed, confused before going along with it as she’s been using it for long enough, and she doubts she’ll get rid of the habit now.

But… this is the first time the Solver had ever felt bored. Her entire lifetime she was scheming, planning, and spying. She didn’t even remember why she wanted to destroy everything; she only knew the want to destroy. And now that she has… what should she do now?

Her mind – well, minds – briefly drifted to the orb in her closest claw. She’d never actually looked into one after finding out they were just other universes. She’d assumed they were all the same, that events were transpiring ad infinitum. Without really much of a second thought, the Solver said, “to Science with it” and brought the orb up to an eye. She stared intently into the universe before her, and then her vision zoomed into the point of view of one of the many Drones within it. After a few minutes of observing, she couldn’t look away from the orb.

Turns out, the universe on the other side was rather interesting. Not a plain copy and paste like she’d thought, but a genuinely different version of events. It was… fascinating. The Solver was kind of intrigued now as she watched through the orb. It was radically different, with several drones’ roles getting swapped around.

While her main eye watched the orb, the others saw something incredible coming from the orb. Every time someone performed an action within, another orb appeared close by. Occasionally several orbs. A few grasped those orbs and looked in themselves, and they saw that it was almost like the main one, except a different action taken. They dropped the orbs soon after, though.

After another few minutes, she looked away from the orb albeit a bit begrudgingly. It had been the most interesting and entertaining thing she’d seen in so long. Looking around at the vast sea of orbs around her, she realized the real value of the place around her. Maybe she would stop destroying this place. Not because she would feel bad, but because she was… curious. Yes.

Letting the orb go, the Solver uncoiled itself and carefully began moving through the plane. She did her best to avoid hitting orbs. She would grasp at random orbs and look into them for a few minutes to find anything interesting, if not she just let it go. She searched for a while, found a few, and observed. Such an interesting plane she’s found herself in. The fact that she never really realized the ramifications of this until now is astonishing, especially for it to happen to her.

She grabbed a few orbs as she very literally slithered through the endless void. Each claw lightly held them as she collected ones that she merely guessed would be interesting. She didn’t look at them, that was going to be the fun part.

Once she was satisfied with her collection, she found a mostly empty spot and coiled up again, getting her definition of comfortable in order as she did so. She’d never gotten its definition before, nor had she done anything beyond planning for the universe’s death. This was a new experience this ‘recreation’ and ‘boredom.’

Thankfully she had, quite literally, all the time in the universe. So once she was finished coiling, she brought the orbs up and peered into universes beyond.