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Jon was the first one to wake up in the cottage that morning. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, he didn’t care much for sleeping in nowadays.
He watched Martin turn over in his sleep, his form illuminated by the golden light of the sunrise. It caught on the ends of his eyelashes and highlighted the freckles smattered thickly across his cheeks.
Jon smiled at the familiar swell of emotion in his chest, fondness and care swirling together in a beautiful mess. He loves this man. It was not news to him, he’d been aware of it for some time, but having his affection returned so strongly was a wonderful experience.
It was also terrifying. He knew all too well the conversation he was going to have to have with Martin soon, it was inevitable.
Jon slipped out of bed as quietly as possible. He put on his slippers and grabbed his lighter and a pack of cigarettes out of the bedside table before leaving the bedroom.
He left the front door slightly ajar as he stepped onto the porch, fishing the objects he’d acquired out of pocket.
Some, but not all, of the tension left his body as he took the first drag of his cigarette. He leaned against the porch’s railing and gazed out on the fields in front of him in thought.
How would he bring it up? Should he just wait until it becomes an issue? How would Martin even react?
Logically, he didn’t think Martin would react badly, but he also knew you could never be sure when it came to these topics. He brought the cigarette to his lips again in hopes of quelling his rising nerves.
“Jon?” He jumped at the sudden sound. “Love, it’s freezing, what are you doing out here?”
“I just needed some air.” Jon lied, turning his head to face Martin in the doorway.
“So you decided to have a smoke?” Martin joked, wrapping his arms around Jon from behind.
“Yeah,” Jon said, allowing himself a light chuckle. “I suppose it’s counterproductive.”
Martin hummed, nuzzling Jon’s neck. His nose was cold against Jon’s skin, but he didn’t mind.
“Martin?” Jon asked, attempting to ignore the quick twist of panic in his stomach.
“Hm?” Martin replied, placing his chin on Jon’s shoulder.
“I, uh… I need to tell you something.”
“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”
Jon swallowed around the lump in his throat. He attempted to steel himself against the urge to turn tail and run.
“I’m asexual.”
“I know.” Martin’s easy answer was quicker than Jon had expected.
“You… what?” Jon stammered. “How did you…”
“Jon…” Martin chuckled, moving his hand to tap lightly against the black ring on Jon’s middle finger.
“Oh, right.” Jon felt his face flush in relieved embarrassment. “That doesn’t… bother you at all?”
“Oh, Jon…” Martin said in that lovely, soft voice Jon had gotten used to in moments of vulnerability. “Of course it doesn’t. That sort of thing has never been a dealbreaker for me.”
“But you…” Jon wished he could get his voice to sound a little less shocked. “Don’t you have any questions?”
Martin thought in silence for a moment.
“Are there questions you want me to ask?”
“No… yes… maybe?”
“Well, either-or is alright with me.” Martin pressed a kiss to Jon’s temple. “Just keep me updated, no pressure.”
“I… I love you.” Jon’s heart rushed the words out before his brain can stop them.
“I love you, too.” Martin responded, giving Jon a quick, gentle squeeze. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d love to go inside and start breakfast. I think I’m turning into an icicle.”
“Alright.” Jon accepted, putting out his cigarette. “Let’s go, then.”
He took Martin’s hand and led him back into the warmth of the small cottage.