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The Monastery of Spinjitzu was quiet. Peaceful, even. After all the chaos that had just transpired, peaceful nights were desperately needed. Everyone was exhausted, physically and emotionally.
And yet, there was still the quiet creaking of floorboards as the master of earth slowly stepped through the dark halls of the newly-crowded monastery.
Cole poked his head around the corner, glancing into the centre room. He couldn’t help but smile as he saw his family - his new, other family - all sleeping peacefully on different couches and seats. The smile faltered quickly, as his mind drifted to the family members that were missing. He shook his head - now wasn’t the time to grieve. Not yet. He just wants a hot chocolate, and sleep.
He continued his quiet walk through the monastery, his steps a lot softer and precise as he passed by Fritz, Spitz, and Geo, being careful not to wake them.
He let out a short breath - one that he hadn’t noticed he was holding - when he passed into the opposite hall, but he was quickly distracted by a soft blue light peeking out from between the kitchen doors, which were left slightly open. Hesitantly, he pulled one open, looking inside.
”Zane?” He whispered, raising an eyebrow at the sight of the nindroid, who was just standing hunched over an empty sink. Zane flinched slightly, turning to look at him with eyes that were practically a flashlight due to how dark the room was.
”Cole? You are up late.” Zane spoke in an equally hushed tone, his head tilting slightly.
”Could say the same to you,” Cole murmured, stepping into the kitchen as he slid the door shut behind him. ”You okay? Whatcha…” He paused, looking over at the empty sink. ”…Whatcha doin’?”
Zane glanced down at the empty sink he was stood over, his expression neutral as he removed his hands from the edge of the bowl. ”I was just. Finishing washing up.”
Cole gave him a doubtful look, as he stepped over to a cupboard, bending down slightly and pulling out his favourite mug. He stood and went to close it with his foot, before remembering the need to be quiet, and closing it gently instead. ”Right.. Zane, buddy, you’re a terrible liar.” He stated quietly, a small smile pulling at his lips, as he placed the mug down on the counter. ”Something’s bothering you. Something’s bothering all of us right now. No need to lie about it.”
Zane remained silent, aside from the quiet humming of his inner workings. His gaze remained locked onto his hands, as he held them together, intertwining his own metallic fingers with each-other. “Yes. That is true.” His voice trailed off slightly, as he seemed to be thinking.
“We can talk about it if you think it’ll help.” Cole offered, as he searched through the fridge for some milk. “You don’t talk about your issues much, could do you some good.”
Zane hummed softly, tapping his fingers together lightly, his audio processors focusing on the soft ting sound they made. “Perhaps. But- …This ‘issue’ is not…” He sighed, seemingly unsure of how to word his thoughts. He held his hands together again, as his gaze shifted to Cole for a brief moment. “I feel quite selfish for having it.”
Cole gave him a confused look, as he took the milk out from the fridge, slowly shutting it. He returned to the counter, looking through a shelf covered in jars filled with various tea leaves. “Why’s that? We’re all going through this together.”
“…It is not about Kai. Nor is it about Jay, or even Pixal. It is not even about the fate of the world itself. It is about Me.” Zane looked down at the ground, fidgeting slightly, spinning the titanium casing of his left index finger. “I am still worried for them, and for the world. But I cannot stop thinking about Me. And I feel selfish for that fact.” Zane stated, his expression remaining neutral despite his words.
Cole paused his hot chocolate making, as his full attention was on the nindroid now. He cocked his head slightly, “What d’you mean?.. ‘Thinking about you’?” He asked, his voice growing softer.
“…Thinking about what the Administration said about me.” Zane clarified, not looking up from the ground. “That I am not a person. I am just equipment.”
Cole's eyes widened briefly, as he stepped over to the nindroid, taking his hand gently. “Hey. You know that’s not true.” His voice remained soft and quiet, but the firmness in his tone reflected his expression. “That place is part of the realm of madness, just because they said-“
“It is still the most informatively focused and accurate place of all the merged realms.” Zane cut in, his voice returning to its regular volume. He sighed, speaking quietly again. “Although it has its flaws, it is extremely dedicated to details and specifics.”
“Zane, that’s not- Well, it is true, but you are still a person!” Cole whisper-yelled, his hand moving up to hold his shoulder gently.
“I am a recreation of an imitation of a person, Cole.” Zane stated, looking up at him briefly. Cole squinted slightly at the sheer brightness of Zane’s eyes. “I am not flesh and blood, not even bone. I am made of parts and code.”
“And what about Bonzle?”
Zane looked up at him again, blinking. His expression shifted, as he looked down once more. He seemed almost guilty. “…I am sorry.”
“No, Zane- I didn’t-“
“I can only understand my own thoughts, but I must imagine that our experiences are different.” Zane looked at the ground again. Cole remained silent, still holding the nindroids hand and shoulder, gently tracing patterns into his titanium palm with his thumb.
“Bonzle has always been Bonzle. Even when she roamed the realms as a spell, she knew she was something- someone more than just magic. Her sense of self was always there. But I…” Zane trailed off, his circuits humming softly but audibly, as he seemed to be deep in thought. Cole remained silent, still gently caressing Zane’s palm with his thumb in an attempt to be soothing.
“I have not always been-… No. I have always been Zane, but I have not always been Me. When my father turned off my memories, I lost all sense of self. I suppose that is why regaining them - regaining that sense of self - unlocked my true potential.” Zane started, still not making eye contact with Cole, rather making eye contact with the floor.
“But I lost it again, the day I- the day Zane died. When I was remade, I felt empty. I was there, but there was no more… Me.” Zane paused, finally making eye contact again. His eyes conveyed so many different emotions; confusion, sadness, guilt, hope. “Does that make sense?”
Cole only nodded slowly in response, a small smile on his face - which he hoped showed the reassurance he was trying to express. Zane returned his gaze to the floor before continuing.
“I- I regained my sense of self again, of course, but… It was changed. I was not Zane, not the white ninja anymore. Merely a remake, a rebrand. The ‘new model’, so to speak.” Zane had returned the grip on Cole’s hand, taking it in both of his own. He let out a small sigh.
“And then-“
. . .Zane remained silent. Cole knew what he was referring to. He lifted the hand he had placed on his shoulder, gently cupping his cheek, tilting his head up to look at him. “That was not you. That- That was Vex.” Cole whispered softly, trying to keep his tone strong and reassuring.
“Then that just proves my point further.” Zane almost seemed to mumble, as his head gently leaned against Cole’s hand. “I was merely a tool.”
“Zane, you were being manipulated. He took your memories, and you just wanted an identity. Because you’re a person. He gave you the identity. And no matter how awful it was, it was all you knew.” Cole kept his hand steady, holding Zane’s head up gently, looking past the bright glow and into his eyes.
Zane remained silent, before he suddenly pulled Cole into a hug, burying his head against his shoulder. Cole’s breath hitched, and he was taken aback for a moment, but he quickly returned the embrace. He smiled softly, stroking Zane’s back gently.
“You’re flawed. You’ve been hurt. And… You never came to us for help, huh?” Cole whispered softly, as he pieced together the reasons for Zane never talking about any issues he might have. “Zane… You are just as - heck, maybe even more - human than anyone. No matter what any ‘Administration’ says. They don’t know anything about you - about Zane.”
Cole saw the bright blue peeking up at him from just below his neck. He moved a hand up, carefully holding the back of Zane’s head. “They don’t know the guy who would laugh at tragedy movies, and get an adrenaline rush from watching nature documentaries. They don’t know the man who tore a pillow during a pillow fight and had to sleep without one for a month. They don’t know the person that followed a bird just because it danced.”
Cole stifled a small laugh, as he thought of every little thing that Zane would do, listing them off fondly. Zane merely watched his face silently, as he continued to embrace him.
“And… nobody knows about the problems that this stupid tin can keeps bottled up because he doesn’t know how to face them.” Cole whispered softly, looking down at Zane’s face, which was no longer buried against his shoulder.
“You know.” Zane corrected, blinking rapidly for a moment. Cole chuckled quietly, reaching down and caressing Zane’s cheek gently. He paused upon realising it was wet.
“…Are you crying?”
. . .
Maybe that was too blunt. Whoops.
Zane didn’t respond, just burying his face against Cole’s shoulder again. Then Cole realised,
He’s never seen Zane cry. Heck, up until now, he wasn’t even sure if he could.
He… Wasn’t exactly sure what to do. So he just held him.
“…You’re gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. It- It always is.”
Zane trembled slightly in Cole’s hold, sobbing visibly against him. “I- I amm- hGGZz — sorry—“ He managed to sputter out, buzzes interrupting his speech as though he was choking on the air he doesn’t need (but breathes anyways.)
“Don’t apologise. You’re a person. You need this. I’m here.” Cole whispered, continuing to hold him close, stroking the back of his head with the amount of tenderness he used when he would hold baby Wu. He paused briefly as he followed his train of thought. Without giving himself the time to reconsider, he scooped Zane up, holding him in his arms as though they were newly-weds.
Zane blinked, a look of confusion, but not discomfort flashing across his features, before swapping for one of peace. He rested against Cole gently, and closed his bright eyes, the room plunging into an almost pitch-black darkness as tears of an undefined blue liquid still streamed down his face.
“I… nNeeded… tTThizs. Thhank you, cCole..” Zane’s voice trailed off slightly, his hydraulics loosening as his arms visibly became less tense. Cole smiled softly, as he watched him fall into sleep mode. He placed a soft kiss on Zane’s head, wiped his blue tears, and lifted him closer.
He struggled slightly to open the door, as he carefully made his way to Zane’s room, his focus only on the man held in his arms - and on not waking anyone else - as he carefully stepped through the halls.
He gently opened the door to Zane’s room, and placed him into his bed. He tucked him in, smiling softly, an odd sense of pride washing over him. He glanced at the door, before closing it, climbing into bed beside Zane, and cuddling close to the nindroid. The man.
He closed his eyes, feeling a wave of exhaustion rushing over him. “The hot chocolate can wait..” He mumbled to himself, as sleep took him as well.