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This was a special day. At least to Zhongli it was. It had been a while since he had a day like this, in which he could clock out early from the funeral parlor and take leisurely walks around the harbor. But that wasn't what made this day special. This day was special because—
”Zhongli-xiānshēng!” A bright haired foreigner called for him while waving from the ship which was docking in the harbor. This man was why today was special for Zhongli; Childe. His dear lover, who had been away because he had missions to do for his god and country, finally came back home to him.
”Please be careful,” Zhongli said gently as he saw Childe hurriedly run down the ship as soon as the ship stopped. Zhongli couldn’t help his own excitement though as he unconsciously walked closer to the dock and as each passing second his steps were getting faster.
”My overgrown lizard, how I’ve missed you,” Childe said as he basically threw himself to Zhongli for a big big hug. If this was anyone else, Zhongli might have protested by the insult, but since it was coming from Childe, somehow it sounded endearing instead.
”Hmm my rascal,” Zhongli said ever so fondly. Ah, how he had missed his Snezhnayan rascal. Childe had been away for at least a month and his last stay wasn’t that long. He just hoped this time he could stay a little longer.
”Where’s your luggage?” Zhongli asked when he noticed Childe didn’t bring anything from the ship. Childe pulled out of their hugs and gave him an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry, Zhongli-xiānshēng, something came up and I have to go back to Snezhnaya tomorrow,” Childe said sadly.
Oh. How Zhongli was disappointed but not surprised. It wasn’t something rare that Childe had to leave him so quickly for a mission. If he were to be selfish, he would whine and protest, but he understood that this was what Childe choose for his own, and he wouldn’t be so selfish to make this into a problem.
“I see. We shall utilize the limited time we have well then,” was all Zhongli said.
”Actually, there’s something I had been planning to do and I want to do it right now,” Childe said. Zhongli tilted his head, wondering what it could be. Knowing Childe though, he was probably itching to fight something after such a long boat ride of doing nothing.
”A fight?” Zhongli asked. Childe was grinning widely. Zhongli already expected Childe to express his affirmation, but to his surprise the younger shook his head.
What came after was a tame invitation,
”Xiānshēng, let’s take a walk,”
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They walked along the Yaoguang Shoal’s shore. They had walked in silence, yet it felt very nice. Zhongli liked this kind of walks, especially when it was with Childe. It just felt… so peaceful. Oh how he wished this moment could last forever, or at least if he could do this everyday. Zhongli shook his head as if to shake off the thought. He shouldn’t dwell on something he couldn’t help, he should enjoy the moment instead.
”How have you been?” Zhongli broke their silence.
“I had a good fight in my last mission, and as you can see I’m well. So I’ve been good!” Childe replied cheerfully. Zhongli nodded, glad that Childe was having fun and relieved that Childe wasn't coming home injured like last time. Well at least from what he could see, there was no injury but he would have to inspect more closely later.
”How about you? How have you been doing?” he asked.
”I’ve been doing good. There have been a lot of requests for my appraisal service recently and I made a lot of new acquaintances, including an Inazuman noble and his housekeeper whom I think is his love interest. It has been interesting,” Zhongli answered truthfully. His days were mundane but it was exactly like he wanted, a normal mundane life.
“Did you miss me?” Childe asked teasingly. He looked at Zhongli with mischievous side eyes and a smirk. While people think his teasing behavior was annoying, to Zhongli it was refreshing. No matter whether they knew about his identity or not, there weren't a lot of people who would dare to tease the regal consultant after all. To be honest, one of the things Zhongli missed the most when Childe was away was this very behavior. He especially missed Childe's reaction when Zhongli managed to turn the table on the teasing.
“Of course I miss you. I always miss you when you’re not by my side, Ajax,” Zhongli said sincerely as he took Childe's hand into his own and kissed it. Purposely looking at Childe through his eyelashes because he knew so well Childe liked that. And as he expected, Childe's face turned pink. Very Pretty. The human hurriedly hid his reddening face though, and Zhongli lamented how he could only see it for a brief second.
”Why are you getting good at flirting? Have you been flirting around when I'm not here, xiānshēng?” Childe asked when his reddening face subsided.
“Perhaps?” The god said jokingly. Childe raised his eyebrow as if offended but then he laughed.
“Tell me their names. They shall be gone tomorrow,” Childe joked. He joked but if Zhongli did flirt with other people, it would be probable that he would actually start erasing people.
They continued their walk, with occasional small talk while they held hands. Until they reach a particular ginkgo tree, a very special spot for them both. They stopped under the tree as they enjoyed the sound of the wave serenading their time together. The sun was slowly setting into the horizon and the color of the sky was as vibrant as Childe's hair. When Zhongli looked at Childe, his cold blue eyes made such a striking contrast to his hair and the sky. Zhongli thought it was such a beautiful sight. His Childe was really really beautiful. He felt so happy to be able to spend this moment with him.
It was such a pleasant thing.
That was until Childe let go of Zhongli's hand and said,
“We need to talk, xiānshēng,”
Zhongli's world seemingly stopped for a second. He had heard a lot of stories about those 4 words, about the “we need to talk,” phrase. People said it was a beginning of an argument or a break up, a beginning of something bad. Up until now, in their relationship, they had argued, they had fights, but this… this would be the first time that phrase was uttered.
Zhongli was concerned to say the least.
Even so he tried to calm himself. There was no rational reason for him to panic now, so he took a deep breath and nodded, “Sure, what do you need to talk about?”
“You know I'm such an ambitious person, right? People say I'm young and foolish, but I think I just know what I want,” Childe started. Zhongli agreed with it, he actually thought it was one of Childe's great traits. He knew what he wanted and he worked towards it, he didn't just have ambitions, he made a great effort towards the achievement he desired albeit sometimes with some less preferable ways.
“I must say I think it's one of your amazing qualities,” Zhongli said truthfully. Childe smiled lightly and looked far away into the horizon.
“Unfortunately, that very same personality made me strive to have the best, to be special, to be the most of something. I often feel unsatisfied or not having enough,” Childe stated. Zhongli wasn't sure where this conversation was going, so he kept quiet, allowing Childe to elaborate.
“... It also applied to the relationships I have. … Like… like us,” Childe said quietly and Zhongli's heart hurt at what it might imply.
“Are you… not satisfied with our relationship?” Zhongli asked, his voice was less steady than he liked.
Childe was silent for a moment. He held his neck and looked down as if he was trying to find a way to say it politely. In the silence Zhongli's mind was frantically searching for why this might be, asking himself if he hadn't been a good partner for Childe. Or perhaps… he wasn't good enough? Childe was a handsome young man after all, he was fun and such a supportive and loving partner. He… he could have gotten someone better than an old retired god. Was that it?
“... Am I not good enough?” In the end that was all Zhongli could utter. He hated how sad and pathetic he sounded. However the idea and possibility of Childe leaving him was just so frightful.
Childe's eyes widened and he hurriedly shook his head and waved his hands.
“No! No that's not it,” he said in a hurry, but then he paused.
“I– I mean…” he added as an afterthought.
“I am unsatisfied with us as is, but it's not your fault! It’s mine! I swear! You're perfect, you're always perfect and I love you so much! I feel like I don't pay enough attention to you,” Childe said, he said those as if he was in such pure panic. Zhongli really wanted to believe it however… As much as people say Childe was bad, he was actually a good person at heart. And good people usually do this; putting blame on himself just so the other party wouldn't feel bad.
Zhongli's breath hitched. He felt like he was suffocating and felt… pain. One he hadn't felt for so long. Because he couldn't help but to think that so far this… sounded like a breakup talk.
Zhongli felt a crack in his heart by the sheer thought of it. Even so he tried to keep his neutral face. He asked calmly, “Then what is this about?”
Childe looked away, his hand seemed to be unconsciously fidgeting with something inside his pocket. Nervous. He was nervous. Zhongli silently let out a sigh. His Childe was… such a gentle soul, of course he would be nervous about breaking someone's heart.
Childe exasperated sighed out and he messed with his own hair.
“Zhongli, look, I had planned this and wanted to do this better but something came up and it's either now or wait until who knows when. And I just cannot wait any longer. So bear with me!” Childe said. Zhongli felt another crack was forming in his heart. How long had Childe planned to break up with him? … and… did he just say he couldn't wait any longer?
Zhongli stayed silent as he didn't trust his voice not to sound shaky. He looked far towards the fast ocean to hold the tears that threatened to fall. He didn't even know if his habitual calm expression was still or not.
But would you blame him for feeling like he would break? He loved Childe. He loved him so much. He didn't love only the part that Childe purposely showed to people, but he also loved those parts Childe hid away from others. His hardship, his anger, his jealousy, his everything.
Everything.
He really really loved him and while he wanted to keep Childe for himself… he also wished for Childe to be happy, and so if… if Childe wished to break up, and if Childe would be happier that way then… he woul–
“What do you think of firsts and lasts?” Childe suddenly asked, breaking Zhongli's train of thoughts.
Firsts and lasts? He had never really thought about it but firsts and lasts were usually memorable. Like first kiss, first love, last day being an archon, last moment he spent with someone before they were gon–
Oh. Was this where it was going? Was this why they took a walk in Yaoguang Shoal? This was where Childe had first confessed his love. Would it be where he would declare the last day of this relationship too? Ah. At least it would be poetic to end it in the very same place where they started it.
“I think it's… memorable,” Zhongli decided to say. As shortly as he could, because he still couldn't trust his voice.
“Yeah, I think so too. And I think, in regards to someone's firsts or lasts, they hold a special place in your heart. Like no matter how many lovers you have and even though your current lover is me, your first lover has a different throne in your heart,” Childe said. Zhongli silently agreed. Unfortunately, so far Childe wasn't any of his firsts. Perhaps he was the first lover who was a Fatui Harbinger, but that didn't feel as special. Special but not as grand.
“And later, the lover I choose to be my last will always be special too, as it means they will be the one I spend the rest of my life with, they will be the one I love until my last breath,” Childe continued and Zhongli lamented the possibility that he wouldn't be that person. He really wished… No. He shouldn't think of what he wished. He should think of what Childe wished and what would make him happy.
“I love you, I really do, so much,” Childe paused but Zhongli knew there was a contradiction coming up, so he waited for it and braced himself.
“But…” Childe paused again.
Ah here it comes. Zhongli thought. If this was as he thought what this was about, then this would be where Childe would lay his fragile heart gently and let it break. Zhongli had lived long enough, heartache and heartbreak weren’t something he hadn’t experienced before, but it didn’t mean it would make it easier. It hurt still.
“I don't think our relationship is enough for me anymore,”
Zhongli stayed silent. He knew what would come already, Childe would say that he wanted to break up and so he could be free and find a relationship more fulfilling for him, more satisfying, more… than what they have.
Zhongli was bracing himself for a rejection, for Childe to break him up, but what Childe said instead was a gentle, “I want… more, I don't want to be just a mere lover. I want you to be my last, xiānshēng. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and be loved by you. I want to draw my last breath telling you that I'm glad to have you,”
Suddenly the conversation moved on to an entirely different direction.
“And then I want to be more special to you too, I want to have such a special place in your heart that even when I die I would still have that special place. I will have a throne in your heart that only belongs to me,” Childe said as he held Zhongli's hand and kissed it ever so gently. Zhongli's heart fluttered.
“I wasn't your first love nor was I your first kiss. I wasn't the first you took to bed nor was I the first to take you to bed. I certainly won't be your last lover, as I'm just human, your lifespan is beyond mine,” he continued, and while it was regrettable, it was true. To be honest, after the death of his previous lover, he closed off his heart, afraid of getting hurt, of losing another bit of his heart. That was until he met Childe. He was still afraid but the fear of not having Childe in his life overshadowed it. He wanted to watch Childe living his life until the end, he wanted to be a part of it as long as Childe allowed him.
“So… I was thinking… If you let me… I want to be the first one to greet you when you wake up each day. The first person to see your smile every morning. The last person you say good night to before you retire to bed. The last person to wish you sweet dream every night,” that sounded very nice, too nice even that it sounded like a dream.
“So… what I'm trying to say is…” Childe paused. He let go of Zhongli's hand and he slipped his hand into his coat. He took out a velvet box. Zhongli's eyes widened in an instant. He looked at Childe and once again he was pleasantly surprised. Childe's usually dull eyes were shining, alive. They looked beautiful. His bright orange hair and the vibrant Ginkgo leaves falling and fluttering about them made it even more enchanting.
“Zhongli-xiānshēng,” Childe said softly. He opened the small velvet box to reveal a simple yet very beautiful ring inside.
And then the question was uttered,
“Will you let me be the first one to call you husband? Will you marry me?”
Zhongli felt like his world came to a stop. In a pleasant way. There was no word that could describe his feelings. His chest felt like it was flying. His stomach was filled with butterflies and he felt… incredibly happy, even beyond that.
There was no need to think of an answer.
“Yes, Yes Ajax, I would be honored,” Zhongli said. It was embarrassing how his voice sounded like a shriek but he didn't care.
“Thank you, Zhongli,” Childe said, as he gave a light peck to Zhongli's cheek. Childe smiled widely, took Zhongli's hand and took off the older’s glove to put the beautiful ring into Zhongli's finger. It fit perfectly and beautifully.
As soon as the ring was put on, Childe let out a deep breath and visibly relaxed his body. Only then Zhongli realized Childe had been overly nervous. He couldn't help but to chuckle.
“Hey, don't laugh at me, I was so nervous alright? I'm proposing to a god here,” Childe said with a pout. That only prompted Zhongli to chuckle some more.
“I hope I did alright. I'm sorry if this isn't a grand proposal,” Childe said in more serious note.
“It's alright, Ajax. You could have proposed to me during our regular dinner at Wanmin and I would still be over the moon,” Zhongli said truthfully. Heck, even if Childe asked the question while doing dishes, it would still be his happiest day. Everyone in Liyue knew how much Zhongli wanted this. He had wanted to propose to Childe himself, but he wasn't sure Childe wanted this too. After all, this was a huge commitment to make and Childe was a young ambitious man who didn't like being bound.
“Although, it was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. I thought you were about to break up with me,” Zhongli stated and Childe's shocked face told the god that it wasn't intentional.
“What?! No! W-why did you even–” Childe shuttered, but he paused, blinked and Zhongli could almost see something clicked in his head.
“Oh. I can see why it's confusing…” Childe said, reflecting on his choises of words and the flow of the conversation.
“I'm sorry, xiānshēng, the order of the conversations was slightly messed up. I really did practice in the boat but as soon as I saw your eyes everything just evaporated out of my head. Besides! This isn't my original plan! I planned for this, with handmade candlelight dinner and flowers and everything but then Her Majesty requested my immediate presence tomorrow when I was supposed to propose to you. If I don't do it now, I would need to wait until later,” Childe said, defending himself. Zhongli could see how Childe was pretty much frustrated about his ruined plan. The god quietly lamented that he wouldn't get to experience the original plan.
“I wouldn't mind waiting, you know,” Zhongli said, half jokingly.
“But I do!” Childe immediately said.
“I just… I have reasons. You see, you… changed me…” he said quitely as he took Zhongli's hand to his own and started to walk along the shores again.
“Pardon?”
“I love fighting. I love dangerous enemies, and I still do! I remember being indifferent about how it might cost my life but… during the last happening in Fontaine and the endless fight with All-devouring Narwhal, on the brink of death, your face always flashed in my mind. For the first time after so long, I feel scared of death again…” Childe said softly. Ah. The Fontaine incident. When Zhongli heard the news Childe went missing, his legs went weak and he spent nights after nights worrying about his lover. Few weeks afterwards, Tsaritsa told him that her 11th had gone back home with injuries, it took everything in Zhongli not to turn into a dragon and just fly right to Childe's doorstep. Through all of it, Zhongli could only patiently wait in Liyue for Childe to come back home to him, and thankfully he did.
“When I returned to you, it was obvious that I've made you worried sick. It made me feel so upset with myself. At that moment, I realized my priority had been shifted. You’ve become my best interest in life,” Childe said. He once again took Zhongli's hand and kissed it.
“Ajax…” was all Zhongli could say. There was unbelievable amount of joy in his heart right now.
“When I realized that, I decided to propose to you,” Childe continued.
Then he smiled cheekily before he said, “I also requested Her Majesty to station me here permanently. She agreed,”
Zhongli's eyes widened at that.
“You'll be stationed here?” Zhongli asked. Was that true? If so this would indeed be the best day in his life indeed. Not only the love of his life proposed him, he would be staying here as well!?
“Yes. I will still be away from time to time, but I will be by your side more often,” Childe clarified with a smile on his face. Zhongli couldn't help but to hug the younger. He buried his head to Childe's neck. The promise of more time to spend with Childe was delightful for him.
“I have no words to express how happy I am. This is the happiest day of my life. Thank you, my love,” Zhongli whispered softly. Childe let the hug linger for a few more moments before he pushed Zhongli off his hug and kissed his cheek.
“Mine too,” Childe said. His blue eyes looked straight to Zhongli's golden ones.
“Thank you for accepting me, not just the pretty side of me, but also the side I was afraid to show, Zhongli,” Childe said sincerely.
“Me to you too, Ajax,” Zhongli gave those words right back at Childe. Because it was true, not everyone would accept Zhongli as who he was; not just the beautiful human called Zhongli, but also the non-human being called Morax. Morax had a long history and not everything was bubbles and rainbows. Childe knew the less pretty side of that history too and yet he still willingly loved him. Like Childe loved everything about Zhongli, Zhongli also loved everything about Childe, even his abyss tainted self, even his bloodlust. Every bit of him.
“Mind giving me a kiss, Ajax?” Zhongli said because he suddenly wanted to kiss Childe’s lips.
Childe chuckled and nodded, he opened his arms and said, knowingly, “Come here, xiānshēng ,”
Zhongli's eyes blew wide when he realized the meaning of the word had changed. It was no longer a mere “mister” or a title he earned because of his knowledge. That word will forever be different when it was uttered by Childe to him or about him. It made his heart feel jittery. He practically threw himself at Childe and kissed his lips.
Nǐ de xiānshēng
“你的先生 (Your husband),” Zhongli whispered when they parted their kiss. Zhongli wasn't sure if Childe’s limited Liyuean knowledge would catch what he meant but he wanted to say it nevertheless.
However to his delight, Childe replied softly,
Shì, wǒ xīanshēng
“是，我先生,”
(right, my husband)
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This is the reference of the location:
