Work Text:
Elaine hated silence.
Silence would mean that she would be locked in her room, alone with her thoughts.
And if Elaine was left alone with her own thoughts, she would get restless, and then the feathers would start to grow. And then her mother would get angry because she couldn't control herself even though she tried everything and never had anything to do and then-
"Ow!" She pulled one of the feathers from her arms, hissing in pain. The stinging sensation was always unpleasant, but the shock was always enough to pull her out of the spirals.
Her mother didn't approve of her doing that. That they were just shortcuts deprived her of the real control that was needed to finally set her free. But Elaine was frustrated.
Her arm finally healed after the disastrous fall from the window and Isabella had invited her to a tea party to celebrate. Or rather, Isabella and Charles.
Elaine's cheeks grew hot with the memory of how excited he was to take part when he heard of her recovery, relieved of his great concern - as he said in his beautiful letters - it had been nothing more than an accident.
Of course, her mother said no.
So, all that arrived from her at the manor was a letter of apology and empty promises that she couldn't keep.
"That's so unfair!" Elaine exclaimed, slamming her foot down hard, consoled that solitude afforded her these little moments. "I know mother wants what's best for me, but..."
And then it stopped.
Elaine could complain all she wanted, but belittling her mother was out of bounds.
Not after everything she had done for her. Protecting her, making sure she could protect herself, ensuring that there wouldn't be mobs with torches and pitchforks just because of stupid feathered arms.
Not after having to be trapped with a cursed daughter like her.
Her mother would never know - it would be an audacity against everything she did - but it terrified Elaine how close to being completely alone and rejected she always came.
There were no uncles, grandparents, or other relatives. Her father? Died long before she could speak her own name. If her mother hadn't decided to persevere, to keep looking for a way to have a life close to normal, Elaine wouldn't have made any friends, learned, or enjoyed as much as she had.
Because if her mother had been anyone else, she'd already be dead. Or worse, in a cage.
Alone and with no escape.
The feathers on her arms bristled. How stupid did she have to be to complain about her room? About the house she had? About a mother who did nothing but live in pursuit of her freedom? A task so arduous that it had taken away her smile, yet never stopped her from fighting for it as best she could? Who had guaranteed that she would have a fortune and opportunities when she finally took control?
And who took care of you after that stupid fall that was no one's fault but mine? How can I be so ungrateful?
Elaine ran to open the window, savoring how the wind cooled her skin and shook her tresses, taking a deep breath.
Hearing caws and looking up, Elaine observed a formation of birds in the sky, wondered what should be like.
To walk free and with company by her side. Without fear, without being rejected or abandoned. If those feathery arms could turn into wings one day.
They can't. Mom already said no.
But one day she could go out and have fun without any worries. Speak what she wants and feel what she wants. Dance, eat and talk. No more secrets or lies.
Elaine could have the people she loved and the love she had always dreamed of nearby.
She just needed to put up with the loneliness for a little while longer. Just better hide what no one wanted to see.
Her arms returned to normal.
"Come in, Sebastian." The voice sounded, echoing against the high walls.
Sebastian took a deep breath before crossing the throne room. The loges - usually filled with members of the court - were empty. It wasn't a conversation from king to crown prince, but from father to son.
It's impossible to say whether that was better or worse.
"What can I do for you, father?" He asked with a respectful bow, his arms behind his back.
"I heard about your performance in battle training today." The prince flinched at the information and only the self-control he had practiced for years prevented him from shuddering at those words.
Sebastian stood up, squared his shoulders, and raised his head. A prince is always dignified. Anything other than that is weakness.
His father's eyes were serious and inexpressive, as always, but at least there was no disappointment in them. "I hear that your skills have improved considerably, and your strategy has given you a landslide victory against excellent soldiers."
The corners of Sebastian's mouth rose slightly at the statement. "It wasn't a difficult feat following your instructions, father. I couldn't have seen it any other way."
"But still," the king cut him off, annoyance beginning to creep into his voice, and his smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. "You don't listen to me."
Sebastian's stomach twisted at those words, and he swallowed. "Pardon my audacity, but I don't understand-"
"You obviously don't understand. Tell me, Sebastian, why was there a whole battalion next to you?" The question was icy and judgmental.
Sebastian gripped his forearm tightly. He would have to choose his words carefully. "Guidance. First-hand guidance from their leader to avoid mishaps, as well as protection and support during the attack-"
A loud, dismissive laugh filled the air. "You really don't learn, Sebastian."
He felt his eyes sting. The hateful disappointment was back in his father's eyes. The kind that made him feel five instead of fifteen.
Which makes him feel like a disappointment.
"What do I always tell you?" His father stood up, the royal crown making him taller and more imposing.
"A king can only trust himself and no one else." The answer was automatic, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, and Sebastian cursed how his voice had failed him.
"And yet you took a battalion with you. Not to mention not executing your prisoners." The king put his hands on his shoulders.
His father was hovering above him at that moment. "They had already been subdued. I didn't see the need-"
"You always have to do whatever it takes, Sebastian! Because if you don't protect yourself, no one will!" The tightness in his shoulder increased, and the pain made him shift his weight from one leg to the other.
"I-I'm sorry, Dad. It won't happen again." The answer was resigned and shaky. His lungs began to compress.
Warden, his shoulder was hurting so much.
Finally, the king loosened his grip, turning towards the throne and Sebastian remembered how to breathe.
"That naive bleeding heart of yours will condemn you yet, Sebastian. And when it does," the king sat down again, looking him straight in the eye, "you'll be alone."
"I understand." The prince looked down at the floor, trying to stop the stubborn tears that insisted on falling.
"Dismissed."
Sebastian didn't need to hear it twice.
"Two steps forward, two steps back. Very good." Elaine followed in her mother's footsteps with lightness and grace, spinning around the room, bowing slightly at the end.
After so much begging, her mother finally allowed her to dance and socialize at dances without being around all the time! It took some time and persuasion, but finally she could enjoy like all the other young people.
Of course, there would be rules. After a long and serious conversation, they came up with a few: no wine, no loud noises and, most importantly, no take off the gloves.
Elaine would never be grateful enough for those pieces of fabric. Was because of them that she could have some effective eye protection for her mother.
"Your movements are good enough. I think that with these steps, you're fit for a smooth sequence." Her mother commented, a sneaky contentment creeping into her voice.
Elaine couldn't help but smile. "Thanks for the dance lessons, mother. I really appreciate it."
"It's no big deal. A girl like you needs to know how to behave in social interactions. You'd be an embarrassment if you didn't know basic etiquette." Her mother explained, brushing a strand of her hair out of front of her eyes.
"Got it." She replied attentively, nodding.
"Good. The party is at the twins' manor, only respectable people will be there. It will be a quiet atmosphere with little disturbance. Julia knows how to plan it well enough." The invitation had arrived a few weeks ago and Elaine couldn't have been happier since.
It reminded her of...
"You said you were going to ask me to dance, right, and was ok for me to accept, right? " It was a risky question, but it had to be asked.
"Yes. Some noble gentlemen may come and ask for a dance and if you want, there's no reason to refuse if you want to dance. Just let me know if some of them insist against your will. Other than that, it's standard behavior." Exactly what she needed.
"I hear it's also a form of courtship." Elaine murmured and her mother let out a heavy sigh.
"We've already talked about this, Elaine." The tone made it clear that it was a conversation that should not be repeated.
"I'm aware, mother. No suitors until everything is sorted out." Elaine knew the phrase should be until she was fixed, but it never had to be. The answer pleased her enough.
"You're young and you've got plenty of time. Until then, this house will always be your home for as long as you need it to be." For the first time in a long time, her mother sounded... maternal. "Now, you need to go back to your room."
And the moment passed.
Elaine entered quietly. "I'll be back in an hour."
Normally she would be upset when it was time to go to her room, but nothing that day would spoil her mood.
Because... dance at a ball!!!
"I hope Charles asks me to dance!" Elaine spun around the room a few times with an invisible partner before flopping back on the bed with a few giggles
That was it. Just her and Charles, together in the lounge, concentrating on only each other. Goodness, her mother would be so angry if she knew!
Well, it's a good thing she doesn't know. Elaine thought to herself, a mixture of dread and adrenaline coursing through her veins.
Not that she liked lying to her mother - she didn't like lying in general - but the heart wants what the heart wants. And Elaine would be locked up forever if she knew that the most sought-after bachelor in town was exchanging romantic letters with her.
"Charles, wait for me, I'm coming." The gloves glittered in the corner of his eye. Of course, there was still that little detail... which wasn't so little.
Despite everything, her mother had a point about the serious courting having to wait longer.
But she would sort it out! Soon! "Wait for me, my love. I'm coming."
It's not that he hated dances by itself.
On the contrary, Sebastian was brought up to deal with social events. When it came to conversation and diplomacy, he thrived.
No, wasn't the occasion. Were the people.
He hated how they were so fake.
How everyone who pretended to be civil would be ready to stab each other for a better position. How lies and intrigue spread like wildfire in the forest. How one false move, one simple weakness was enough to be torn apart.
Unfortunately, he was the crown prince and attending them was a royal duty.
And with the recent...indisposition of his father, the only one fit to represent the king, all chances of his absence were nullified.
And because of this, that had been his first break in a secluded corner near the delicatessen table, after solid hours of small talk.
Turning over a glass of wine, his eyes flicked to the clock. There are still three hours to go.
He didn't know if he could last another hour.
"Your Highness!" A squeaky voice called out.
Forget an hour, he wouldn't be able to stay here for another minute!
But duty is duty.
"Duchess Ava," he placed the cup on the table, his voice as sugary and polished as he could manage, bowing quickly.
The duchess was a tall woman with a predilection for green, as well as a loyal servant of the crown. That at least made the conversation more tolerable.
Although Sebastian questioned the choice of color.
"I have to say, the party is fantastic. Your Highness has done an excellent job of organizing it." The Duchess looked over her shoulder to appreciate the hall and for the first time that evening, Sebastian really wanted to smile.
The ball had taken days to plan to the king's strict and high standards and to see that someone had enjoyed it was... good. "Thank you very much, your grace."
"Also, congratulations on your coming of age, it's a big milestone." The woman commented, picking up an appetizer.
Sebastian nodded. "Thank you."
He had come of age a few months ago.
It had been the event of the year, with a big celebration, a tour of the kingdom and new capes. Since then, his father had stepped up his regency lessons since, although his days were far away, Sebastian needed to be in good shape to serve wherever he was needed.
"I imagine they come with big decisions too. It must be... demanding to handle so much responsibility on your own." The Duchess commented, taking a sip of her wine, focusing on some distant point on the walls. "I'm not royalty, but I can't imagine handling the duties of my title without my beloved Robin."
The duke was a wealthy, respectful and responsible man, as well as having a reputation with his lovely wife as one of the oldest and most steadfast couples at court.
Sebastian knew he wouldn't marry for love.
Not having the duties, the responsibility. The Crown.
But, only sometimes, he finds himself imagining what would be like if he could. What would she be like? He wondered if his wife, the future queen and responsible for his people, their people, would be someone he could at least get along with.
That he could at least trust, even a little.
After all, to trust is to place yourself in someone else's mercy. And how could love to translate differently from that?
Believing that the other person has only the best and purest intentions for you? Of letting his guard down to the point of putting his life, his heart, on the line by putting them in the hands of someone else?
But that was real life. And you couldn't trust people in real life.
"I hope Your Highness can find someone like that too." The duchess began to come closer, and Sebastian's senses began to beep. "By the way, I'd like to introduce you to my eldest daughter. She's a gifted girl and-"
"I beg your pardon, but I must decline the offer, your grace. I'm being requested at once, excuse me." He interrupted her, walking away without looking back.
The scenario had been repeated countless times by now. Pretentious, power-hungry mothers and fathers seeking to marry their daughters off to him at all costs. As if he were just a ticket to a better life. As if he wasn't a person too.
As if the great crown prince had no feelings. Just a pawn to be deceived and used in a game of power.
Guess what? He was better at it. After all, to love is to trust.
And Sebastian didn't trust anyone.
Elaine's head kept spinning.
Everything around her was too dark, too blurry. Goodness, were the walls closing in around her?
Her lungs were burning, and the eyes were stinging. No, no, it couldn't be! She... she was doing so well.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Elaine coughed a few times, her body shaking. Shrinking even further, her back against the door, she hugged her knees to her chest.
Everything was a disaster.
The previous day had gone well. It had been another normal afternoon visiting her friends' house. One of the rare opportunities given to her to get out of those four suffocating walls where she believed everything was possible and see how there was a whole world beyond the room. To hear laughter. To talk.
Elaine loved to talk. And she loved talking to Charles and Isabella even more.
She joked and chatted with them after so long and it seemed like a dream that would never end. The meetings at the twins' house were always her favorite part of going out. How Charles always looked at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. How Isabella always made a point of her presence and almost made her feel normal.
Just another ordinary girl with her friend and her suitor.
And then she woke up with her claws. And her mother immediately locked her in her room.
Most of the time, she coped well. The long hours locked up being the perfect source of inspiration for letters and lockpicking practice when she was feeling brave.
That day was not one of them.
For years Elaine had been following the protocols, following instructions, not stepping out of line. She didn't feel, she didn't speak, she didn't behave, she didn't do, she didn't eat when her mother wouldn't let her. Even so, those stupid feathers kept growing, and now she had those hideous claws!
Nothing is working, why isn't it working? Shouldn't the curse be more under control after all these years? Goodness, what if it never subsides? What if it never goes away? What if I stay like this forever?
And that realization was enough to send her into a spiral of panic.
Couldn't be like that. Anything but her room forever.
Elaine could accept exchanging everything, all the years of being trapped, not being able to do what she wanted, if it meant there was a chance. But... what if it wasn't working out if nothing she did worked out...
It would mean that everything had been in vain. That she would have to be locked up for the rest of her life.
That she would be a monster forever. And no one, not even her mother, could stand to be around a monster.
And then she would end up caged and exposed as the hideous creature she was.
Her life was going to end before it began. "I-It's not fair! I never saw anything; I never did anything. I just stayed quiet and small. And why doesn't anything work?!"She let out a muffled scream, her feathers rising to the sleeves of her dress.
She hated it! She hated those feathers, hated that stupid curse! Hated how it took everything away from her and her mother!
She hated how it was part of who she was.
Elaine stared at her arms, hot, thick tears rolling down her cheeks, and frowned in disgust. A frown deepened with anger.
"Stupid damn thing!" She spat between tears and sobs, starting to pull hard on her feathers. Whole heaps piled up in her hands. "Stupid feathers!"
She threw her fists on the ground, exhaling with difficulty. "Why can't I be normal?" she asked no one in particular, her eyes fixed on the window. "Why do I have to make everyone around me unhappy?"
Elaine stared at the trembling claws for a moment. "Why do I always have to be trapped and alone?"
She had begged her mother not to keep her locked up. Just this once.
Elaine just wanted to walk around the house, go from room to room and believe that those sharp weapons were just a setback rather than an indication that everything would get worse. To hear that everything would be fine.
You need to control yourself, Elaine. And no shortcut is going to give you that. Look where you are already. Her mother's voice rang in her head. The image of the tall, sharp silhouette disappearing without so much as a glance at her own daughter burned itself into her mind.
She flailed at the door and begged a few times, but it didn't help. Never did.
Heaven, is her figure that despicable?
The next morning, after a good sleep, Elaine would wake up renewed in hope and optimism. Would be as if nothing had happened.
Now, all she could do was squeeze herself into a ball and cry.
Breathe, Sebastian. You need to breathe. He thought, again and again, as if with enough effort, his lungs would stop compressing and his stomach wouldn't feel so heavy. His body was shaking, and his hands were buried in his hair.
Was he crying?
Sebastian couldn't tell. He couldn't see anything else.
It all happened so quickly. One hour he had eyes, the next...
Memories flooded his mind and Sebastian wanted to beat himself up. What an idiot he was!
Frustration fueled more tears and tightness, and his scalp began to ache. He deserved this pain. Deserved to be trapped in that cage. He deserved to be blind.
His father was right, Sebastian had learned nothing. And that stupid bleeding heart of his had condemned him, exactly as predicted. You can't trust anyone, he had heard repeatedly, but he was too desperate, too fragile, too weak.
"As you always are, aren't you, Sebastian?" His father's voice sounded, and Sebastian felt his chest tighten, his breathing getting worse.
He saw no other choice.
His father... was dying. The unshakeable rock that had guided him all his life was fading in front of him. Poisoned. Sebastian had already taught the man in charge a lesson, a murderous and despicable baron who had eaten with the king for the last time before he fell ill, but a regent can only make decisions with the king alive to a certain extent.
A grieving son could only do so much.
The court had become busier and more demanding, the royal duties heavier and more intense. And his feelings were more confused and chaotic than usual. Everything became too suffocating, too devastating. Nothing seemed to work and the discussions about the preparations for his coronation became more and more frequent and ominous.
He refused to talk about it.
How could he? It would mean confirming that his father was leaving.
And was in this state of fragility that Warden attacked.
Sebastian needed someone in his weakness. Anyone. And the great protector of the forest positioned himself as that figure.
Only for that trust to come back to bite him and almost doom the kingdom completely. How close came.
Making the great Warden of the Wall angry by hiding the crown. One last great gesture of petulance and independence that Sebastian exercised before losing everything.
Didn't solve things but cleans his soul enough to make his lonely days in that cage less torturous. Torture that Warden made a point of applying and he almost laughed at the irony. The creature that swore was a friend, tormenting him so relentlessly. How quickly people change.
Not that he cared. He was the crown prince of Aerie, the future bearer of the crown.
If anything, Sebastian was forged in and for pain, struggle, and suffering.
He had prepared for the worst long before that damned bird planned anything.
Don’t make the guilt eat away at him any less, though. Or erase the feeling of being hollow and empty. Is this how the banished feel after they've been sent outside the barrier?
It didn't lessen his panic to see that he was completely alone, his kingdom defenseless. And his father...
A sob escaped him. And for the first time since this ordeal began, Sebastian allowed himself to cry freely.
Kierion's room, like the house, was cozy, warm, and well lit.
The brothers' mother had provided extra beds, and she was kind enough to put hers near a large window that had a positively enchanting view of the city.
A view that Elaine appreciated, leaning on the windowsill after a well-deserved shower, with fresh clean clothes and a hot drink in her hand. Still amazed her how everything was so big, shiny, and new. Almost made her forget how homesick she was.
Almost.
Elaine looked over her shoulder, watching Kadena resting serenely on the mattress. Her little friend deserved a good rest more than anyone. She had given very good advice about the travel.
About Charles. Elaine still didn't know how to feel about it, all of it.
Turning her attention back to the landscape, she took a deep breath of the cold night air, savoring the feel of it against her face. Maybe this had never been her home. But maybe it was something better. A place without secrets and lies. Without feeling like a stranger under her own skin. Without being a burden to anyone else.
What is a stranger when everyone is like that?
Tweet!
"Ah, you're already here." Sebastian said, entering the room and positioning himself right next to her, his own cup in his hands and new sleeping clothes. Bart rested on top of his shoulder. "Have the beds been made up?"
"Yes. I know it's not like yours in the castle, but I hope it's comfortable enough." Elaine joked. The relationship between Sebastian and beds was second only to that with cages. Not that he'd hear that from her out loud. All for beauty sleep, she supposed. Looking as handsome as he did couldn't be easy.
Sebastian exhaled. "Frankly, I'm so exhausted that I'll accept anything."
"They look great, though. They even got one for Bartholomew." She mentioned the small black round bed next to Sebastian’s.
"Tweet!" The little bird chirped happily, and Elaine couldn't help but laugh.
"This is the first time I'm going to sleep with company. My first sleepover, can you believe it?!" She was almost buzzing with excitement. Her mother had never let Isabella sleep over, or Elaine spend the night at her friend's house. Another new thing!
"It's mine too." Seb commented, distantly. The wind was lightly rocking the blond curls and he looked calm. Comfortable.
"Oh, maybe we should engage in some recreational activities. Maybe scary tales, or truth or dare!" Endless possibilities ran through her mind.
"And I thought you'd be tired after the dance." Seb commented, taking a sip of his drink and Elaine felt her cheeks heat up.
"I-I've never done this before; I want to try what I can." The answer came out nervously and Elaine quickly brought her own cup to her lips.
"Oh, I'm well aware of that, miss 'let's get off course'." Seb commented with a slight chuckle and her face grew hotter.
However, was good to see him light-hearted like this. Seb had grown on her and despite the difficult start, Elaine was happy that they’re in this new friendship and newly built trust.
"Although we could try some ritualistic slumber party activity. I'd hate to miss the opportunity too." Seb replied, tossing his head to one side. The usual standard theatrical response. Amused her.
Elaine was happy, especially after all the trials of the last few days. "And you, how are you feeling? No more headaches, right?"
"No, I don't feel anything anymore." He denied it, shaking his head.
She turned to face him. Always amazed her that even with the literal absence of eyes, Seb never looked scary. "If you feel anything, please tell me. I'd hate to find out you had a concussion while you were sleeping."
"You worry too much about me, Elaine." Seb said, leaning his face in his hands.
"You're my friend, Seb. Of course I care about you." She replied, concerned.
Perhaps was too much precaution, but Elaine would rather overdo it than underdo it. Seb is too important to let something so frivolous as my carelessness lead to tragedy.He blinked a few times, turning his attention back to the city and then smiled, small and distant. The way he always did when someone seemed to care about him, she noticed. Like someone asking about his well-being was the most groundbreaking fact in the kingdom.
From what he had said before, maybe it was.
Now it was his turn to feel his face heat up.
Elaine had to stop being sweet and kind so casually. Sebastian had a reputation to uphold and being a blushing mess didn't contribute to it. He was getting soft if she could push his buttons so easily.
Although hearing that she was looking after him was... nice.
The kind of feeling that started in your chest and spread through your whole body, making he feel warm inside and like butterflies were flying around on the stomach.
Warden, he was getting soft!
"Well, I appreciate your concern and I'll keep that in mind." He deflected the subject, taking another sip of what was supposed to be a local tea.
"Thank you. Not to mention that I don't think our hostess would be happy to deal with a scare like that." Elaine said, mentioning the temperamental little crow.
He shivered slightly at the memory. "That lady scares me. Although, I understand where Kasper got his personality from."
Elaine hummed. "She must have her reasons. She offered us accommodation after all."
"Maybe." He then leaned closer, their shoulders now touching. "Although I'll be a better host when we get to the Capital."
"Then you'll have some stiff competition." He could almost see Elaine's mischievous smile. Big and bright.
"No problem, I'm going to win." Sebastian came even closer. Close enough to feel that their faces were relatively close.
He knew it wasn't "socially appropriate". Not that it was a problem. And judging by Bart's lack of warning that Elaine seemed uncomfortable, neither was she. Perhaps it was the adrenaline of the whole ordeal catching up with him, but he wondered what it would be like to get closer.
"Good night, how you guys doing?" Kierion sounded through the room. Sebastian jumped half a meter away in embarrassment. If his heart beat any faster, would have leapt out of his chest.
"So, does anyone have any slumber party ideas?" He asked, blissfully unaware of Sebastian's disturbed state.
"How about not going in like a maniac waking up the others?!" Kadena grumbled, her tone clearly disgusted.
"Oh, Kadena, I'm sorry! I didn't know you were asleep!"
"I'm not now." The sound of flapping wings and landing informed Elaine that the little bird was on her shoulder.
"I-I was thinking about that! Why don't we share our favorite story. I'll start!" Elaine said. "Let's make a circle."
Sebastian slid in right next to her, Bart resting on the top of his head. "Okay, if we're going to do this, let it be clear that no real secrets are going to get out here."
"Maybe Kasper would like to play too?" Elaine offered. Since they were doing this, there was no reason not to call the rest of their friends.
Friends. The mention of the word made her smile and immediately put her in full spirit to enjoy the sleepover.
Neither she nor Seb needed to be alone any longer.
And she couldn't be more grateful. Sebastian knew he already was.