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Tommy had not had what one might call “a good weekend”. It had started fine, with plans for a date with Evan Buckley. Not something he’d been looking for, but who in their right minds would turn down that man?
Then, his date had been inadvertently crashed by Diaz and his girlfriend, who was beyond pissed. And weird about it. The man ate tortellini one-handed with a death grip around his girlfriend with the other, all while trying to glare a hole in Tommy’s head.
Then, Sunday, he and Buck had a do-over date, after which Buck deflected his kiss and said no to another date because Tommy was supposedly “hung up on someone else and he’s done being second choice”, which makes so sense. The only other person he mentioned is Shane, who’s his best friend, the Buck to his Eddie.
And just when he thought a new week might put it all behind him, he rolled into the firehouse to see his name plate taped over with “Home Wrecker” and nobody will talk to him.
“Doan, man”, he says the minute he sees Shane. “What the hell?”
The Vietnamese man rolls his eyes. “What do you mean, ‘What the hell’?”
“I mean this!” Tommy cries, gesturing at the whole station. “The ice out, my name plate, and I’m pretty sure my parking spot was covered in nails. What did I do?”
Shane scoffs at him. “You broke up the LAFD’s supercouple. Why are you surprised everyone is mad?”
Tommy could feel his brain break. The screen flashed blue, the 404 error flashed. “What LAFD supercouple? I went out with Evan Buckley.”
“Yeah, sweetie. You did.” Shane pats him on the cheek, before grabbing his face. “Hold on, you got a little something.”
Like he has many times before, Shane licks his thumb and wipes a spot of oatmeal off his face. “Like I was saying, this is what happens when you decide you’re too good for gossip. You get left out of the loop. Everyone in the LAFD knows Buckley and Diaz are married, they just don’t know.”
Tommy’s blood runs cold. “Everyone?”
“Everyone, tinh yeu .” Shane gives him a sympathetic look. “Look, I’m sure that if you explain, the guys will understand.
The guys did not understand.
It was like staring down a wall that was both angry with and disappointed in you. 0 out of 10, do not recommend.
Firecracker broke the silence, as usual. “Seriously? You tried to mack on both halves of Buddie— yeah, we know about Vegas and Muy Thai, those absolutely your moves, asshole— and now you claim you didn’t know? Bull-fucking-shit, you homewrecking fuckstick!”
He started to approach, but Brady held him back and Shane shoved Tommy behind him. “You know he doesn’t pay attention to gossip! He had no idea about Lucy transferring to Sacramento for three months!”
“Ordinarily, I’d believe you, Doan,” De la Rosa says, always the level-headed captain. “But Buckley once tried to dig Diaz out of a collapsed well by hand on live TV. If you didn’t know, Kinard, you’re so unobservant that I’m uncomfortable having you in my unit.”
At that, everyone filed out, leaving Shane and Tommy alone in the kitchen. “So, even though Buck called it off, everyone still thinks I’m a homewrecker? I’m fucked. Maybe I’ll move to Seattle. I hear anything goes up there.”
Shane draws him into one of his tight hugs, the warmth and pressure familiar. “You’ve still got me,” he murmurs into Tommy’s neck. “And hey, maybe if you actually get them together, everyone will forgive you.”
Tommy laughs it off and nuzzles a bit into Shane, loving the smell of his hair. “I doubt I’ll get that desperate.” He takes another sniff. “Is that a new shampoo? It smells great, really sexy.”
Tommy did get that desperate. Pretty quickly, too. His own house was bad enough, but every call, every other firefighter in the LAFD seemed to want him dead. Even the dispatchers and police had it out for him. He caved in a week.
“I cannot believe I’m doing this. It’s probably easier to move to Seattle than get their heads out of their asses and up each others.” Tommy mutters as he surveys the plan for what Shane dubbed “Operation Cupid” spread out over their coffee table, as well as a couple beers. “Even Josh is mad at me now. And he wasn’t mad when I forgot a date because I was helping you move.”
Shane gracefully folded himself into the small space between the Tommy and the couches arm, half-draping himself over Tommy. “That is because Josh’s best friend is Buck’s sister, who’s also a dispatcher. And the police is because Buck’s captain and basically dad is married to Sargent Grant.”
Tommy smiles and Shane’s smirk. “This is why I don’t bother with gossip. You know everything about everyone in LA. It’s honestly amazing.”
Shane blows him a kiss. “I know. Now, onto the plan. Step 1 was break up Eddie and Marisol, but that’s been taken care of for us.” He shrugs as Tommy’s questioning look. “She goes to my cousin’s friend’s baby daddy’s sister’s nail salon. This week, she was sobbing into her manicure about how her boyfriend broke up with her because he was less interested in sleeping with her than freaking out over his friend's date.”
“Which should also clear step 2: Make Eddie realize he’s into guys.” Tommy finished. “Now onto step 3: the plans to actually hook them up.”
They’re both quiet for a minute. “I could make out with Buck and really make Eddie jealous.”
“I think your failed date blew that one. Speaking of,” Shane asks, “Why’d he’d say no?”
Tommy rolls his eyes. “He claimed he could tell I was in love with someone else?”
Shane snorts into his beer. “You? The king of love ‘em and leave ‘em? Yeah, right.”
Tommy gestures, his bewilderment clear. “I could make out with Eddie and make Buck jealous?”
At that, Shane smacks him upside the head. “Do you not remember how we got here? Buck jealous but so spun around he ended up on a date with you? No, my dove, you are going to have to solve this with your pants on.”
The silence lingers for minutes.
”I could talk to Eddie?” Tommy finally suggests.
“Yeah!” Shane raises his beer, only to realize it’s empty. “I’ll grab us some new brews, you text Eddie and open Netflix. There’s a new documentary on Alexander the Great.”
“Perfect!” Tommy agrees, idly noting how damn good Shane’s ass looks in his sweats, but that's nothing new.
Talking to Eddie was not perfect. He’d apparently blocked Tommy on everything, and going to the 118 was not an option right now. If the rest of the LAFD was mad, they’re probably apocalyptic. Eventually, Tommy resorted to staking out Diaz's favorite post-run coffee shop, so he’d be too tired to flee.
“Eddie, hey!” Tommy holds out a bottle of water, keeping one for him. “Long time, no see.”
Diaz’s glaring from the restaurant continues, only now it’s worse somehow. “You’ve got a lot of balls coming up to me after what you did.”
He grabs the water and drank half, somehow still glaring.
Tommy has a moment of panic. What if Step 2 wasn’t done? Only one way to find out. “Why are you so pissed? Are you that mad that Buck’s bi?” Please don’t let that be true, he thinks.
Diaz lowers the water bottle, and Jesus Christ, how is the glaring worse? “You think I care that Buck’s into men? I don’t. Well, I do,” he allows, “but only because it makes him happy to know himself like that. I’m pissed because you tried to pick up me, which I didn’t notice because I thought you were a decent person trying to be friends, and when that didn’t work, you took advantage of my vulnerable best friend, who gives his heart to anyone who looks at him twice, and his bi awakening to get your dick wet, all while having a boyfriend who you talk about constantly!”
Diaz looks about ready to murder him, and after that, Tommy can’t really blame him. He did try to get into Eddie’s pants before the girlfriend was brought up, and he didn’t really think about scary that first moment of “holy fuck, I’m not straight” can be, so he says the only thing he can.
“I don’t have a boyfriend!” He shouts as he backs up.
Eddie scoffs. “Shane Doan, your live-in partner? Ring any bells?”
For the second time in a week, Tommy’s brain breaks. “Shane is my best friend. Why would you think that?”
"Everyone thinks that!” Diaz waves his hand to indicate the entirety of LA. “You live together!”
“Housing’s killer by the bay!”
“He calls you pet names!”
“He calls everyone pet names!
“You live in each other's pockets and are always touching!”
”So are you and Buck!”
“You talk about him constantly! You wanna know why I didn’t realize that your helicopter ride to Vegas was a hook-up attempt? Because every other sentence out of your mouth was about Shane. I thought you just wanted someone to be a bro instead of a bae.”
The conversation halts as Eddie’s words sink in.
“Uh,” Tommy begins.
“Don’t worry, already regret saying it.” Diaz agrees. “You’re really not dating Doan?”
Tommy raises his right hand. “Scouts Honor.” He pauses for a moment, then— “When you say everyone thinks me and Shane are a couple—“
“Literally the whole LAFD.” Eddie finishes, then winces. “And now the dispatchers and LAPD. I am so sorry. I’ll clear it up.”
Tommy waives him off. “Don’t worry about it. Friends?”
“Friends.” Diaz clinks his water against Tommy’s, then leaves.
”So, now I’m a cheating homewrecker. Seattle is looking better and better.” He wishes his water was whiskey. Maybe talking to Buck will go better.
Talking to Buck did not go better. It started off better. Shane had gotten to the pho restaurant early, and filled Tommy in on the previously-unknown backstory of Evan Buckley. To him, anyway.
And yeah, an apology was definitely required. When Buck mentioned being tired of being second choice, he hadn’t been joking. Tommy had heard Buck was a player, but that intel was apparently years out of date. Thankfully, Buck took it well, brushing it off as “any date where I don't get emergency surgery is a good date.”
Then Shane leaned in to whisper that he’d give Tommy the details later, and Buck gave a smile. “And see, that date wasn’t a total wash! Tell me, how’d you finally get together!”
Buck sitting there, wide grin made Tommy wish the floor would open and swallow him whole. Sadly, the floor betrayed him by remaining intact.
Just when things couldn’t possibly get worse, Eddie Diaz walked in and sat right down next to Buck.
“Diaz.” Shane sounds like his brain was rebooting, because oh, yeah, Tommy hadn’t mentioned the “everyone thinks they’re a thing” thing to him. “You’re here?”
”Yeah, Buck said you were hanging and asked if I wanted to tag along.” He shrugs. “Since we got everything cleared up, I thought it’d be fun.”
“Yeah, except I think I was supposed to have a drink and leave them to their date.” Buck stage-whispers. “Sorry for the second accidental double date?”
“Ohmygod, a double date? How cute!” And suddenly Tommy knew hell was real and he was in it, because no way was Shane’s ditziest and most loudmouthed cousin their server. “I’m Lacey, I’ll be your server. Shane, you never bring friends around.”
She smiles at the other two men. “He’s so quiet, we worry about him being lonely. I’ll bring you some spring rolls, on the house!”
Tommy suddenly remembers how to speak. “Lace, this isn’t a double date. No one at this table is dating anyone else.
And in that moment, the very gay Tommy Kinard learned why hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Apparently, it didn’t even have to be her scorn.
“What did you just say? What the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY? You’re just stringing him along and using him for sex?” She screams, before lapsing into Vietnamese. “ Grandma! Shane’s white boyfriend isn’t actually his boyfriend! He’s just using him!” Lacey whirled back on him. “ We invited you for Lunar New Year, you shitstick! We accepted you as family!”
“We were never together!”
“We’re just friends!”
Shane and Tommy answer in the same language, their protests overlapping.
”Friends.” Lacey scoffs, before turning to to Buck and Eddie, the former confused and the latter amused. “Do you think they're friends?
“No.”
“Not really.”
Tommy rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on. You and Buck act exactly like me and Shane. Two pairs of best friends.”
Shane pulls Tommy into him. “Angel, that isn’t going to help the plan.”
“Neither is your grandma killing us.”
"What plan?"
Right, because Buck and Eddie were here and have ears.
Tommy groans and faceplants into the table. “The entire LAFD hates me for being a cheating homewrecker, so I’m trying to get you together to salvage my professional reputation or else I have to move to Seattle.”
”But Eddie doesn’t like men.” Buck protests.
“Actually, uh.” Eddie interrupts. “I think I do. That was why I wanted to hang out tonight. Because I couldn’t have sex with Marisol unless I thought about B— someone male. I can’t really.. with anyone unless I really like them.”
“Oh, you’re probably demi, then!” Shane pipes up, always willing to help. “Or maybe somewhere else on the asexuality spectrum. I can send you some links.”
”Really? Thanks, I really appreciate it. Eddie Diaz.” Diaz holds his hand out, which Shane takes.
“Shane Doan.” Shane speaks while putting Eddie’s number in his phone. “When I was trying to figure myself out, I went down a massive rabbit hole. I’m pan AF, but I like to spread awareness. I’ve got an ace cousin, so you can imagine how that is in our family.”
“Oh, I bet-”
“Who’s ace?” Lacey interrupts. “Shane, which cousin?”
They all look over to see Lacey eating their spring rolls and watching like they're the season finale of her favorite show.
“Leave!” Tommy shouts.
No!” She shouts back. “You’re idiots and someone has to fix this. Tommy, the reason you don’t want a romantic relationship and Shane, the reason yours always fail is because you have one. With each other! You’re confidants and the main person you spend time with, the person you count on beyond anything else, the one you share hard times with because they make them easier, and good times because they make them better. Literally, the only need you don’t get from each other is sex, which is extra weird because you commit the most PDA out of the whole family. Like right now! Tommy, why is your hand an inch from Shane’s dick?”
Tommy looks down, startled to realize that is where his hand was, and even more startled to realize that was his usual resting place for it.
Eddie snorts softly. “You’d think the mortgage would have been a clue.”
Tommy snaps at him. “You and Buck act just like us, only instead of a mortgage, you have a kid!”
“You have a kid?”
“Not now, Lacey!”
“Ugh, fine!” She throws up her hands. “Do me one favor. Shane, Tommy, you two kiss. Other attractive men, you kiss. If any one of you doesn’t feel like life suddenly makes sense, you’ll get a new server, your meal on the house, and I’ll Nancy off about her bratty kids.
“Done!” Tommy and Shane agree.
Shane looks at the others and begs. “Please! They’re little goblins because she won’t ever tell them ‘no’!”.
With an awkward series of nods, all four men agree. Tommy grabs Shane’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss that will undoubtedly be the worlds most—
—Amazing. Blissful. Shane’s lips are soft and pliant, but not meek. He’s giving as good as he’s getting, licking into Tommy’s mouth and lightly grazing his own with the tongue stud he’d gotten one drunken night. It should be awkward, knowing this is his best friend, but instead, everything is brighter, more real, more electric. And he could have this, have this on top of sharing a couch and movies and taking turns cooking, a perfect life with no gaps.
We could turn the other bedroom into a home gym, oh god, Shane working out, he looks so good when he works out, all smooth skin glistening, god, how did I never notice—
He gets yanked back to reality by his hair by none other than Shane’s Grandmother, who is looking rightfully angry.
“This is a restaurant, not a brothel!” She yells. “You want to have sex, go to the hotel across the street like your friends!”
Tommy looks over to see that, yes, that is Buck and Eddie running into the Marriott.
Shane speaks first. “First up: I love you. Like, crazy love. Will die without love, so we’d better be a thing now.”
“We’re so past thing. Marry me?” Tommy asks. “We can pick out rings after tomorrow’s shift.”
“Hell, yeah, baby doll.” Shane gives him another kiss. “But also, are you super horrified that Lacey—”
“—figured it out before we did? Yeah.” Tommy agrees, pulling his new fiancé up and out to their car. “Yeah, that fucking hurts. How do you feel about Seattle?”
One Year Later
“Hey, check this out!” Shane Doan-Kinard calls out as he brings the mail into his and his husbands house. “Buck and Eddie are tying the knot! They sent us a save the date.”
”What day?” Tommy asks from where he’s dicing tomatoes.
“May 8th. And it’s kid-friendly, so we can bring the peanut.” Shane replies as he wraps his arms around his husband's waist.
“They’re really speed-running their relationship.” Tommy muses.
“Darling,” his wonderful husband murmurs into his neck. “We got married twenty minutes after getting our rings, which was two days after we got together. And we’ll be parents in 4 months.”
“That doesn’t count.” Tommy turns and insists. “We were basically already married.”
“So were they.” Shane smiles, a lovely, soft thing that warms Tommy's heart… and lower down. “We’re definitely going.”
“Obviously.” Shane pulls him away from dinner and towards the stairs, smacking his ass as he does so. “If nothing else, it‘ll be nice to see the sun after 18 months in Seattle.”