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"What are you going to do?"
Ivy ignored the question, like she'd been ignoring Nadia for the better part of an hour. Longer, if she thought of the other times Nadia had dropped by to try to talk to her, to try to make her talk.
"You don't have to keep it you know, right?"
Ivy felt the words sink down in her like a swallowed block of ice. She whipped to look at Nadia, but saw only concern and a certain resolve. "No."
"Ivy--"
"I can't believe you'd even say that," Ivy said. "This baby is all that there is left of Jason."
"It's not very much like him, is it, though? To have a baby."
"He's your brother." Ivy was pretty sure that she was going to start crying soon, and she wasn't sure if she wanted Nadia gone when it happened or if she wanted to make Nadia stay and deal with it. "I don't understand how you can be like this."
"I just don't think you should have a child out of guilt."
Ivy felt herself flinch as if Nadia had struck her with her hand, not just her words. "Is that what you think this is? You should love this baby because it's your brother's. I'm going to because that's my son, or daughter, growing inside of me."
Ivy watched Nadia's face shift like she was bracing herself to argue, and that wasn't a surprise. What was was when that look changed again, and instead she nodded, slowly. "It's up to you," she said.
"I know it is," Ivy snapped, even though it also wasn't at all up to her. This decision was bigger than one person. She bit her top lip, still trying to stop those promised tears.
"Is there anything I can do?" Nadia asked.
"What do you mean?" Ivy asked.
Nadia laughed. "Like buy you pickles or help you get to the doctor or anything. My dad doesn't care what I do now, even less than he did. Before."
Ivy swallowed another lump to get past those words, to try to. It didn't work, so she brought her hands to her head, buried her face in them before the tears started to really flow.
"Ivy?" Nadia sounded concerned, and that shouldn't make Ivy cry harder, but it did.
Eventually she stopped, and she was kind of surprised to see that Nadia hadn't left. "Why are you still here?" she asked.
"I meant it," Nadia said, and Ivy recognized the look on her face as one she'd seen many times in the mirror.
"Can you talk to Peter for me?" she asked.
"What do you want me to talk to Peter about?"
Ivy rubbed at her eyes. "I don't know." That wasn't true, but she needed time to think, to say it, and Nadia gave her that, let her sit there in silence for a while. "Just ask him if he wants to be involved. He doesn't have to be, I understand if he doesn't."
"Why don't you want to ask him?" Nadia asked.
"Because I think he's going to say no." Ivy didn't watch Nadia's face for confirmation or denial. She didn't want Nadia to see the part of her that wanted Peter to say no. It would be easier to move on, to focus on the fact that the father of her child was dead, rather than the fact that he'd never loved her. It would be easier to never have to think about explaining to a child what Peter was, but not so much easier that she could stomach not offering. This was another part of Jason, as important, in its way, as the fact that he'd given life to her child.
"I'll ask. Do you want me to be a part of his or her life?"
"Yes," Ivy said, "But only if you want to." Because it was Nadia, she didn't stop there. "I think you should want to."
Nadia looked surprised. "I think I do. Want to."
There was little enough that Ivy could say to that, so she didn't say anything. But she let Nadia hug her.