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Chapter Text

The high whining of blaster shots echoed through the canyon as a silver jet wove between them, the sounds of the jet’s intakes sounding almost like panicked panting. And in truth, Starscream, for that was who the jet in his altmode was, was panicked as he was being fired on by Shockwave, Soundwave, and multiple Vehicons. He’s going to actually offline me this time was the only thought in his processor as he fled the Nemesis as fast as his thrusters could take him.

Oh. . .fragging scrap! The internal curse was uttered as a lower, rumbling hum entered his audials, a sure sign that Megatron had come up onto the Nemesis’ deck with his fusion cannon primed. A few seconds later, pain seared through him, every sensor from his cockpit back to his tailfins suddenly aflame with it, forcing him from his alt mode and sending him spinning to the ground.

“Bulkhead, what was that?” Miko’s head whipped around as she heard the crash, multicolored ponytails whipping in the wind as she stuck her head out the window to see where it had come from. “Turn around! I wanna see what that is, that crash sounded really bad.”

The military carrier knew better than to argue with his partner, and pulled a u turn, picking up speed as they headed to the crash site.

When they came upon the site, the girl gasped as she saw a trail of blue fluid that was followed by large spattered droplets, and a bit further back a pond sized puddle with the seeker in the middle of it, a cantaloupe sized hole blown straight through his chest, wires still sizzling, spark chamber dangling perilously from its connection to the rest of his body.

Miko’s eyes widened and she acted on instinct, her heart stirred by the pained gasps of the horribly, possibly mortally, wounded Decepticon, and she grabbed the radio from Bulkhead’s vehicle mode, voice shaky as she contacted base. “Ratchet, bridge to my location, fast as you can! Bring the large dermaplast patch, you know, the ones you usually use for the big stuff! You won’t be able to bridge him back without killing him without that.”

Seconds later, the bridge opened, and as Ratchet appeared a quietly gasped “Holy sweet Primus. . .” came from him as he ran over to Starscream. “I’m sorry, this is probably going to hurt, pretty sure you realize if I anesthetize you you won’t make it.” He gingerly worked the spark chamber back into the obliterated chest cavity, earning him a gasp of pain and groaned out “Frag that hurts.”

One of the red optics was closed, the other flickering on and off as Starscream fought with the last of his flagging strength to stay alive, the open one giving Ratchet what he hoped was a glare as fierce as he was attempting to make it as he ground out “Get on with it.”. The Air Commander was wise enough to know that without treatment he’d bleed out here in the desert, after being blown out of the sky, and that was not the way he would prefer to go out.

Delicate movements placed the Dermaplast patch over the hole, as Ratchet attempted to stitch it in place with as little pain as possible. “Ok, he should be stable enough to be bridged back now, but as soon as he’s back I’ll need to stasis-lock him to make whatever other repairs I’m able. Arcee-”

Miko cut him off “Isn’t going to like this. No worries, Jack and I will deal with her so you can work, Ratchet.”

“Prime, activate the ground bridge.” Ratchet radioed back. “Oh, and make sure Arcee is in a separate room, please. I haven’t lost a patient yet, and I don’t plan to lose this one over old grudges, regardless of whether he’s on our side, theirs, or neither.”

“Roger that, Ratchet.” came Prime’s voice from the other end of the comms as the swirling green energies of the ground bridge opening up appeared in front of them again, Ratchet gently hefting his patient into his arms. 

I never realized how tiny he is when his wings aren’t splayed out until I lifted him up , the medic could not help but think to himself. A wave of sympathy rose up as other old scars became apparent as Ratchet carried Starscream through the bridge, the Seeker, half conscious at best, curling into the other mech’s warmth. What the frag did Megatron do to you?

Optimus took in the scene as Ratchet stepped through the bridge first, Bulkhead and Miko close behind him. It did not take him long to see the spilled energon coating both her and Ratchet, and the damaged ‘bot cradled in the medic’s arms. He’s lost so much, the fins on his audials seemed to droop as he took it in. but if there is one thing we all know about Starscream, the Seeker’s a survivor. I just hope we don’t regret saving his life later. 

Miko looked up at Optimus, her own expression hardened. “Can we talk a second before I change and go home to get this sticky crap off me?” she asked him quietly. She didn’t want to let it sink fully into her consciousness that her clothes were drenched in what was essentially Starscream’s blood . 

He nodded as she pulled him to one side so that Ratchet could work. “You know Arcee is gonna blow a gasket, but I saw what Megatron did to him. And though Ratchet could probably tell you more, I have a gut feeling this isn’t the first time that slagger’s hurt him. Against my better judgment, I feel sorry for him, so I’m asking you, Prime. Keep an eye on him? Please? It won’t be easy, he’s probably going to fight you at every step because that’s who he is. But don’t let him go back. He deserves better than-” and Miko swept her arm toward where Ratchet had laid Starscream, whose energon, though the flow had slowed, still dripped down onto the berth he laid on. “This.”

Chapter Text

Three steps carried Miko back to where the berthing rooms were so she could change into one of the two or three spare outfits she kept on base and stuff the set soaked with Cybertronian blood into her backpack, turning as Arcee spoke up.

“So, who got fragged that you’ve got their fluids all over you?” the femme’s tone was suspicious, but she didn’t turn around, not wanting to set Miko off. She didn’t know the girl as well as she did Jack, but Arcee did know that she had a tendency to be temperamental. 

Miko swore under her breath, about to tell Arcee not to ask before medical alarms began to sound from up front and both ran out.

“Oh frag no.” Arcee growled as she stormed over intent on shoving Ratchet away from the crashing Seeker. “That fragger killed my partner! Let him die.” 

Miko got between Arcee and Ratchet, her eyes narrowed. “Look at me, Arcee!” she gestured down at herself, her eyes almost slits, her expression fierce. “I am covered in his blood ! Ya know why? Because despite everything, despite all he’s done, he doesn’t deserve to die for it! Not this way! You wanna know who’s to blame for all of this mess? Not Starscream! The one responsible for it is the one who’s the reason Ratchet is struggling to keep him alive ! Keep your sights on Megatron, instead of blaming someone who is just as much a victim of the afthole’s madness as all of us are!” 

Arcee growled, turning and storming back to her bunk. As much as she knew Miko was right, it didn’t mean she had to like it. 

The alarm became even more shrill as the lithe, slender body on the berth began to go into convulsions, Ratchet cursing under his breath as he raced against time to tie off the torn line that had come free, energon spurting from it at a pace which could very easily lead to death if he couldn’t get it tied off quickly. 

Starscream reached out a hand as his optics off lined, a field of white surrounding him, a vision of spark blossoms blowing in a soft wind, an entire field of them “Where. . . am I?” the Seeker asked himself as he began to walk through it, only to hear what sounded like jet engines above him, two sleek jets, silver like himself but one with blue and red accents and another with purple and green transformed and landed. 

“Thundercracker? Skywarp? But. . .how? You’ve joined the Well of Sparks already, how are you here?!?” 

The two smiled at him sadly as Thundercracker shook his head. “You’re dying, Screamer.” Skywarp spoke quietly, using the old nickname that had always used to drive Starscream nuts, but now his spark ached upon hearing it again. “You gotta go back, you still got slag to do.” 

“He’s right, brother.” Thundercracker reinforced Skywarp’s words. “You have someone waiting for you on your side of the Well, something better than what you’ve had to endure. Besides, you’re the last of us. What’s going to happen to our people if you leave them without a prince at all , especially with so few of us left.” 

“But. .. but I can’t leave you again!” his voice rose nearly an octave in pitch,.a feeling as if his spark was being ripped into shreds searing through his entire being at the thought. “Do you know how badly it tore me apart when he. . .when Megatron. . “ and Starscream could not get the words out through the clog of emotion as coolant welled in his optics, his slender arm rubbing across them to dash it away. 

“We know, Screamer.” Skywarp still wore the smile he always had, warping around his brother playfully. “But ya know we’re not really gone, right? You’re never gonna leave us, because we’re always gonna be right here.” He tapped a clawed finger against where, were he not a manifestation of the Well of Allsparks, his spark chamber would be. “‘Sides, could you imagine what a mess it would be if it’d been me or Thunder left behind? You’ve always been the best and strongest outta the three of us. I know I wouldn’t have lasted this long without you. But I got faith in you, I know you can. Now, go catch a Prime for us, yeah?” He winked as the vision started to fade away, the voices of Ratchet and Optimus beginning to break through.

Chapter Text

“Bleeding’s finally stopped. Thank Primus.” Ratchet’s shoulders relaxed as the pulsing of his patient’s spark strengthened finally, the Seeker’s condition stabilizing. “His wings though. . .” a weary sigh, followed by a headshake. “I don’t know how I’m going to break it to him that he’s going to be flightless for a while even after he’s healed enough to be mobile, because I can’t harvest the CNA to clone new wings until he’s completely stable.” 

“Why not just lay it on me straight?” The newly awakened Seeker did not even attempt to sit up, Primus only knew what Ratchet would do to him if he ruined that difficult repair work, and besides, Starscream had already nearly died once that day, he had no desire to do it again, especially when he could feel the presence of his brothers more keenly than ever. Besides, he had a promise to keep, right? . “I suspected as much anyway,. After all, I fell out of the sky flat on my back.” 

Ratchet muttered a nearly affectionate “Cockroach, I swear.” He dimmed the lights with a slight smile. “Get some recharge while you have the opportunity, Starscream. I have a lot more work to do, and I’d prefer you well rested when I do so I don’t have to deal with you panicking all over my medbay and waste energy strapping your aft down.” 

“I don’t panic!” Starscream began to protest but Ratchet had already turned around and begun to walk out by the time he spoke. 

The medic pulled Prime aside and his expression and tone turned serious. “I did a pretty thorough exam while I was patching him up, Optimus, and I hate to say it, but you have your work cut out for you. “ He shook his head, a weary droop of his shoulders. “I would think some of them were from battles if I didn’t know better. But there are old injuries healed badly with newer injuries layered overtop of them. His whole frame is a mass of scar tissue buffed down to the point of not being visible to the naked optic. I can’t imagine his mental state is any better.” a faint shudder ran down his back as he couldn’t speak the rest, he just could not find the words for the damage he had found in Starscream’s most intimate places. Instead, he just passed Optimus photos of the scans, their optics meeting in a look of dreadful realization and understanding. 

“He has to be in near constant low level pain.” Optimus’ voice was soft when he uttered those words, a tone of near disbelief that the bot he had known so many years ago could be so cruel as to do this to someone who had loved him. “Is it any wonder Starscream is so angry and guarded all the time? I would be too in his position.” The photos just reinforced the knowledge that he had to handle this carefully. “Arcee will have to come to terms with the fact that she and Starscream are going to have to learn to get along at some point, though I suspect the problems will come more from her side than his. He does not seem to hold grudges, but she most certainly does.” 

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Megatron had entered his berthroom again, without knocking as he always did. Starscream gasped in startlement, body seemingly curling up on itself as a self protective mechanism as the strong scent of high grade filled the room, indicating the Decepticon leader was extremely intoxicated, a bad sign. 

“Lord Megatron?” the question was asked in a nervous tone as the seeker began to back up, body tensed up in fight or flight due to the fact that he could never be sure how the larger bot would react, especially in such a state. 

“Starscream.” the name was spoken in a near purr as Megatron continued to advance on him, a wicked looking smirk curling up his mouth before he grabbed his second by the arms and threw him onto the berth. 

“What are you doing, Lord Megatron?” Starscream’s voice grew more panicked as one of the large servos reached down to pry at the privacy panel, causing him to try to scramble back on the berth. 

Megatron growled in response, the servo that wasn’t trying to expose the seeker’s valve balling into a fist and striking his second hard in the face, leaving Starscream stunned, his processor stuttering to a stop for several long moments in shock. By the time he regained his senses, his leader had him pinned to the berth, privacy panel removed and valve exposed. 

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A loud shriek echoed through the compound that caused both Ratchet and Prime to startle, but Optimus was the first one to respond, running as swiftly as his pedes would carry him back in the direction of the medbay from which the sound had come. 

When he got there, Starscream was sitting up and curled up around himself in the berth, energon trickling out around the patching up that Ratchet had done, but he did not even seem to realize it, body wracked with terrified sobs as he was still half caught up in the nightmare. 

“Starscream?” Prime did not approach at first, knowing how unpredictable a traumatized bot could be, and he didn’t want to make things worse. “Starscream, it’s Optimus. You’re in our base, you’re safe now.” 

It took several moments for his voice to penetrate, before Starscream looked over at him, optics wide and streaming tears down his faceplate. He couldn’t speak, his vocoder completely seized up, but he held out his arms, in clear need of comfort. Optimus acquiesced to his demand, folding the other into his arms, a single servo gently rubbing up and down Starscream’s back, knowing well enough to avoid his damaged wings. “Shhh. You’re safe now, I swear that to you. He will never harm you again. I won’t allow it.” 

Megatron, if I get my servos on you, you will not like what will happen to you. The vow was made internally as Prime did all in his power to keep his anger out of his EM field and from tensing up his frame.

Chapter Text

After about twenty minutes, the seeker finally calmed enough to pull away from Optimus so that Ratchet could get at his torso enough to take care of the stitches that had popped when he’d sat up, speech finally returning to him as he quipped “Not a word to the others.” Starscream knew well enough that Arcee would see his temporary breakdown as a sign of weakness to exploit, and he was in no physical shape to be defending himself from her for the moment. 

“I know you’re worried most about Arcee. Don’t worry, not a word will be spoken from me, but Miko is probably smart enough to figure it out on her own. I will speak with her and make sure she does not speak of what she has likely already worked out in her head, not even to Bulkhead. Not that I believe she’d do anything to put you in danger, it seems the child has somehow managed to become attached to you.” Optimus’ mouth quirked up into a smile. 

“It must be my winning personality .” the seeker’s sardonic tone spoke of how he was already beginning to recover from his nightmare, as did the smirk that graced his face, though there were fewer hard edges to that smirk. “I do have some redeeming qualities, you know. A certain amount of charm .” 

Ratchet snorted, doing his best to choke back laughter. “Sounds like someone’s regained his composure. Here.” the medic filled a syringe with a blue and green tinged fluid. “This should let you finish your recharge without any more. .. unfortunate events. This won’t hurt you, it’s just a flux suppressant. Your CPU can deal with the mess on a night when you’re healed up enough not to tear my handiwork.” 

“I’m fine , Doctor.” Starscream snapped. 

“Doctor’s orders, unless you’d rather I strapped you down and injected this straight into your aft.”  

“Now you sound like Knockout.”  the seeker grumbled, but resentfully tossed out an arm. “No bedside manner whatsoever.” 

Once the drug was injected he waved the two out “Go on now, out. I’d like to actually get a full night’s recharge before all of your other lackeys come in here to stare at the helpless Decepticon.” The clawed servos made another shooing motion as Starscream offlined his optics, attempting to drop back into recharge, hoping his own thoughts were not enough to keep him awake all night. 

Well, at least I can be certain of one thing: The only likely true threat to my wellbeing would be that damned two wheeler. I don’t think I could anger Optimus enough to kill me when I’m helpless if I tried, he’s too good for that, and for some reason I’ve yet to process, the medic seems to actually like me. I’m not about to join their team- he had to fight back the desire to purge his tank at the thought but at the very least I’m assured of a safe place to stay and regular fueling. Maybe I will take advantage of their hospitality until I am strong enough to go off on my own again. One thing I do know, I can’t return to the Nemesis, Megatron is as likely to blow my cranium off with his fusion cannon as he is to look at me.   It took the seeker a moment or two to realize he had thought of the Autobot’s leader by his name rather than his title, and he shook his head with a self deprecating laugh when he did.

Ok, maybe I am getting attached to him. A little. But frag if I am ever going to admit that out loud, if Prime wants under my plating and into my spark, he’s going to have to work for it. I’ve gotten it and a lot more of me broken once already by falling for the wrong person, and it’s too soon to even think about that right now. Most of the reason I’m even thinking about entertaining the idea is like as not simply because he was kind to me anyway, and Primus only knows there has been little enough of that in my life. He sighed, finally beginning to drift down into recharge, shutting out all of the tumultuous thoughts so he could . 

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Back on the Nemesis, Knockout was unhappy, throwing instruments into the boxes, Breakdown watching him and not saying a word. 

“What?” he snapped, turning and looking at his conjux. “I can feel you staring at me, Breakdown, and that stare is practically searing through my cranium with the disappointment in it. I didn’t say anything to our Dear Leader over the slag he pulled with Starscream, as much as I wanted to.” 

“I don’t see why you’re so worried about that little weasel anyway. You know he’d stab you in the back at the first opportunity.” Breakdown broke off the stare, looking down at his digits as if to check a manicure. 

“He’s my friend , Breakdown, ok? You haven’t seen the slag Megatron has done to him, or the aftermath of it. Do you have the faintest idea of how many times I’ve had to keep his spark from being extinguished after Megatron’s ‘punishments’? Poor guy needs one, Primus knows no one else bothers to even try to understand.”  

“Look, I’m no happier with Megatron than you are, Knockout. No, I haven’t seen the things going on around here, I admit it, I try to stay off the Nemesis as much as I can on missions and patrols because to be honest I’d rather not deal with the man. Chances are he’s dead , though. What’s the sense in being so angry over it now when Starscream’s out of the misery? Wanting to mix it up with Megatron isn’t going to bring him back out of the Allspark.” He set a servo on Knockout’s shoulder gently. 

“You’re right. Megatron isn’t one to leave something like that to chance, especially with how much information about the Nemesis and our troop movements were inside his head. He’d rather Screamer be dead than risk the Autobots getting their hands on all that intel.” Knockout sighed wearily, one servo coming up to rest on the bridge of his nose. “This whole mess is giving me a migraine.”

Chapter Text

Starscream woke to a small body bouncing on his berth, optics coming online to see it was Miko, who leaned down backward from the foot of it to smile at him. “Good morning! Rise and shine, sleepyhead, it’s breakfast time! Ratchet said to wake you up, he’s bringing you some energon in just a minute.” 

“Of course he sends the human to wake me up.” the seeker groaned, almost saying vermin, but thinking better of it firstly because he was actually attached to the girl, and also because he was still helpless and the last thing he wanted was to anger her guardian. A laugh slipped out and a smile crept onto his mouth. “Good morning, Miko.” His servo settled onto his pounding head, his systems screaming at him that he was extremely low on energon. 

Ratchet walked in, cube in hand. “Here you go, breakfast.” 

Clawed digits immediately latched onto it, and he drained it in one gulp, taking a deep intake of air to soothe his churning tanks. 

“Whoa, slow down there! You’ll purge if you drink it so fast!” 

“Yes, well I am sorry I was low. I may have, I don’t know, left near every drop of energon in my body on the desert floor?” The seeker was a bit cranky, but understandably so. He was low on energon, still in pain, and for the moment alone and without faction and with a limited number of souls he could trust. “Where is Prime anyway? I’m surprised he hasn’t been to speak to me and to attempt to talk me into-” and he shuddered faintly “join all of you soft sparks again.” 

“Had to talk to Arcee.” Miko piped up helpfully. “Trying to talk her out of scrapping your sorry aft.” but the smile took the sting out of her words, making it clear she didn’t mean it and was more repeating the two wheeler’s sentiments. 

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“Optimus, don’t think I didn’t see the look on your face when you looked at him.” Arcee picked up a piece of rubble as she stood in the area outside of the base, throwing it hard to vent her frustrations. “Don’t tell me you’re getting attached to that waste of energon. The last time I saw you run so fast to another bot’s side was with Elita.” 

“Arcee!” Optimus’ voice was firm. “First off, don’t talk about Elita, you should know better than to pick at that wound.” He turned back to her, mouth drawn down into a thin line. “Second of all, Starscream is not a ‘waste of energon.’. You don’t know what he’s survived, and I confess I don’t know all of it either, but I saw the aftermath of it. And in case you did not realize, prior to the war, and everything that happened as a result, she and Starscream were friends , she was his mentor.” 

“Don’t remind me.” her voice was a low growl. “She sure as slag wouldn’t be proud of what he’s become.” 

“She’d be proud he hasn’t given into his baser impulses and offlined himself, Arcee.”  Jack spoke from behind her. “Listen, I don’t like the little shit any more than you do, but if even half the scuttlebutt that Fowler’s gotten from the Nemesis’ communications chatter is true, anyone any less strong would have been dead a long time ago. Give him credit for how damned stubborn he is at the very least. And ya know, instead of making things harder, maybe you can put down the knives and give him a chance. If he formed bonds here? Decided to change for the better? Just imagine how far that could go to winning this damn war.” 

“He killed my partner , Jack, it isn’t that easy.” Arcee frowned. “Ok, I admit he did spare me when he could have killed me too, and he cut me down when Airachnid would have come back to kill me, but still. . .some things are not so easy to forgive.” 

With that, she sheathed her weapons and headed back inside.   

Chapter Text

Knock Out groaned as he woke to the sound of his comm beeping, and he almost did not bother to get up until he realized it was his encrypted channel, the one only Starscream used. 

//It is important you keep this to yourself, my friend. Don’t even tell Breakdown. But I would have felt guilty if I had just let you wallow in what you likely believe. I’m alive, Knock Out. I would not say I am well, but I am alive.//

A grin touch the medic’s mouth as he made to respond //Oh thank Primus. Breakdown and I were sure you’d joined the Allspark, you have no idea how relieved I am. You’re being treated well, I trust?// 

//Better than you likely are up there.// the medic grinned, in his mind he could see Starscream’s smirk, and his wings wide in confidence. //You know. . .if you and Breakdown ever decide you’ve had enough of Megatron’s scrap. . .I might be able to put in a good word for you..//

//You know that’s treasonous talk, right?//

//No more so than all of the times I’ve tried to take the faction from him.// Starscream’s tone grew serious over the comm. //You and I both know our Dear Leader has lost his fragging processor. Besides, it can’t be treason if I am technically a neutral now, right? At this point I’ve no intention of joining either faction. The Autobots are far too soft sparked for me to even think of fitting in here, and going back to the Decepticons is a death sentence. My intent is to remain with the Autobots until I have recovered enough to strike back out on my own. Though I suspect with connections I have made here I will not have as difficult a time with that as before.//

//Oh, you mean unless you get attached to someone first.// Knock out’s own tone was teasing. 

On his end, Starscream’s wings flared in embarrassed rage at the tease. Knock out had prodded at a sore point as he had just begun to admit to himself that he was indeed becoming attached to the Autobot’s leader. //Watch yourself, Knock Out.// His words were a sibilant hiss over the channel. //You know well what attachment gets you.//

//Here, yes. But where you are? I don’t think you’re in danger of anything bad happening to you if you happen to form some attachments. Besides, // The medic’s tone became almost matter of fact. //Primus knows you need someone to watch your back.// He cut his friend off before Starscream had the opportunity to protest his words //You can’t fool me, boss. How long have the two of us known each other? Long enough for me to know you damn near as well as you know yourself.// 

//I am going back to sleep.// the seeker groused. //Have a nice night.// and he cut the comm without another word. But he had to admit Knock out had given him some things to think about. 

Knockout shrugged as the communication was cut and then grinned. Keep tellin’ yourself that, Boss. I know you too well to be fooled.  Deep down, you long for someone to care about you, and unlike me you don’t have a conjux to watch your back.

 —-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Optimus entered the medbay once more just as Starscream had begun to drop back into recharge, placing a digit over his mouth as Miko, who had stayed sitting next to the seeker telling him stories, was about to greet him. The smile that played over the Autobot Leader’s face was infectious, and the girl couldn’t help but giggle. 

To see Starscream like this, so relaxed, a faint smile instead of his usual cocky smirk, caused emotions he was unsure of how to process, warm ones that wrapped around his spark totally unexpected. He remembered his vorns as Orion Pax, meeting the Seeker Prince who had been quite young at the time, when his armor had still been white with scarlet wings, before Starscream had shed the old armor to become the sleek fighter he was now, stripped nearly down to his protoform.  

Once he was certain that the former Second in Command had dropped firmly back into his recharge cycle, Optimus could not resist the urge to brush a digit across one of the sharp-strutted cheeks, dropping into thought. Old emotions are coming to play again, and I am not entirely certain what I should do with them. I have not forgotten the crush I had on you, back before the war changed both of us. I admired your fire, your refusal to let your frame dictate your path. And though your time under Megatron has changed you, made you more fearful and traumatized you, I still see that flame flickering within your spark, and I swear by the Matrix I will bring it to full blaze once more. Had it not been for hidebound tradition, it could easily have been you bearing the Matrix’s burden instead of me.

Chapter Text

A week passed in relative quietness. No Decepticon attacks, which set everyone, even Starscream, who was finally mobile, on edge. 

“Cut it out.” Ratchet snapped. “Your pacing is going to make me blow a gasket.”  

“It isn’t like Megatron to be so quiet.” The seeker’s smooth tenor held notes of worry and tension in it. “Even if he thinks he managed to kill me, I would have thought he would attack your troops while they were out and about to attempt to retrieve my corpse by now.” The whole thing made his spark twitch, all of his senses on high alert. “Something doesn’t feel right, and I am not going to be happy until I understand what that is.” 

The medic’s expression grew contemplative. “You sense it too, huh? The wrongness of how peaceful it’s been. “ 

“I’m wondering when the other shoe is going to drop, as Miko would say.” Starscream shook his head at that. “Megatron has never been one not to make sure that a bot he wants killed is truly dead, and I would not put it past him to have implanted a tracker in my frame somewhere. He is simply that paranoid.” 

As if on queue, there was a beeping of a comm, and it was Arcee calling and asking where Prime was. 

“He went to take Raf home since it was Bumblebee’s turn to go on patrol tonight.” Ratchet told her matter of factly before an explosion sounded from about half a mile away that rocked the entire mountain, triggering Starscream to jump and begin to run toward the door of the medbay. 

“Get back here.” the medic’s stern voice reached him, but the seeker was panicked enough to not even hear or understand it. “Starscream, Primus dammit!” A servo snapped out and grabbed onto Starscream’s wrist, pulling him back. “You are in no shape to be running off right now, your wounds have barely healed and you can’t even transform yet! Optimus can handle himself, you’ll be a sitting duck out there!”  

“I have to get to him, let me go!” Starscream’s voice rose in pitch, that panic still surging through his spark. He was now having to come face to face with the fact that he had indeed gotten attached to Optimus and it felt like dropping into the Arctic Ocean with the utter terror racing through his lines. “Ratchet, you don’t understand! If he dies, I’ll have nowhere to go! Do you think for one moment that that two wheeler would hesitate for a moment to put a bullet through my spark if he wasn’t around?”  

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Outside, Knock Out and Breakdown were swerving, blasts hitting the ground around them. “You couldn’t hit the broad side of a space ship!” Breakdown called out, internally smirking. Then a blast hit the ground in front of him, flipping him over and he had to transform quickly to keep the roof of his vehicle mode from being crushed in. 

As Optimus raced past them Knock Out could not resist yelling out “Nice rims, sweet cheeks!” as the other transformed and turned around. “As the ground bridge opens, follow me!” Optimus called to the two. In the firefight to get back into bridge range the two had explained the situation to him, and Prime had believed them. He had had no reason not to, considering Breakdown had already helped the Autobots once by saving Bulkhead’s life and the fact that Megatron was doing his damndest to offline them. 

As soon as the bridge spawned, three vehicles came racing in and transformed, Knock Out raising his hands in a gesture of surrender as Arcee raised her pistol at him. “Calm down, I’m here with your boss’ permission. By the way, where’s my little buddy? I got some news for him.”

Chapter Text

“Med bay.” Prime’s mouth twitched up into a slight smile when the words got a knowing glance from Knock Out. “Our CMO would rather have him where he can keep an eye on him and restrain him if necessary until Starscream fully recovers. Something which that look informs you know well the necessity of.” 

“Oh yes. How do you think the two of us became such good friends? Do you have the faintest concept of the number of times he has been in my infirmary, occasionally for extended periods, because of that afthead of a boss of ours?” the Aston Martin shook his head as the smirk dropped off his face. “Megatron’s MO has always been ‘Mission fails? No matter whether it was his fault or not, take it out on Starscream.’ He needs to get better stress relief. Maybe a punching bag. You know, since he lost the one he had.” Knock Out rolled his optics at that. “Soundwave, Shockwave and I are the only three utterly off limits to his rage without Starscream around. “ a faint shudder ran down his frame. “And that is only the beatings the rest of us have witnessed. What goes on when he is called back to Megatron’s private quarters is something his command crew is wise enough not to contemplate. I only see the aftereffects.” As they strode down toward the medbay, he sighed wearily. “I can’t even blame Starscream for blaming some of the fragups on me. He is terrified of Megatron, rightfully so.” 

The med bay doors slid open, and Starscream’s optics brightened in both relief at Optimus being safe and Knock Out’s presence. “Knock Out, I see you took me up on getting out of that retrorat hole.” 

“Yeah, well the boss wanted me to come finish you off if I could find you. I told him to frag off, he tried to kill me.” 

“Finish-Megatron seriously asked a medic to offline someone?” Ratchet’s expression was one of disbelief. 

“Megatron knows we’re friends. He’s furious Starscream escaped him and wanted to inflict the maximum amount of pain during his death.” Knock Out’s expression was grim as he leaned back a bit into his conjux, the only physical sign of how disturbed he was by the whole thing. “And it probably won’t be the last time he sends someone out to try to complete the task.” 

“Optimus. . .” All of Starscream’s shields were momentarily blown down by that revelation, but it wasn’t shock, pain or fear that were in the EM field that suddenly lashed against Prime’s own. It was rage. “That’s it! I refuse to be afraid of him anymore. If he wants me dead so badly, I will make him regret the attempt! If I go down fighting back, I’m at least going to rip his optics out with my claws before he manages it.” 

Prime set both servos down on his shoulders, with a bit more force than he had to, an effort to keep the seeker from running off to take on Megatron on his own. His own field that he generally kept as closely tucked into his frame as Starscream himself did held worry/concern in it, causing Starscream to pull air through his vents to calm himself and cool motors that had begun to overheat from his anger. “I don’t understand why you’d care so much if I went and got myself killed, Prime.” 

The seeker began pacing again, something Knock Out knew well was a method of working off stress. “I’m just a rotten, no good Decepticon, right? A traitor, a backstabber who destroys everything he touches. “ 

Optimus’ optics shuttered for a moment, as he turned to face the Seeker. “I knew you, before I took the Matrix, before the war. You were still Prince of Vos then, and as I got to know you, I realized the person you are. Proud, brilliant, determined to gain what you wanted no matter the cost. You refused to let the predetermined rules of our society define what you could do, and I admired that.” Those servos came to rest on the Seeker’s shoulders once more as Optimus canted his head down and those breathtaking ocean blue pools that Starscream almost felt he could sink down into forever due to the emotions within met his own stark crimson. “I still see that flame within you, even after all that Megatron has done to you. You-deserve-better.” 

And he turned, giving Starscream a chance to absorb all that he had said, and all he could do was stare at the retreating back, not even aware that there were silent tears dripping down his cheeks. 

Chapter Text

Later that evening as Starscream settled into recharge [on his belly, of course, as was natural for flight frames because laying on one’s wings, especially when said wings were new and the nanites had not finished sealing all the sensory nodes and cables to the rest of his frame yet, was uncomfortable] he could not stop his last interaction with Optimus from turning over and over in his processor. The “You-deserve-better” most of all. But do I really? Deserve better, that is? I have done some very horrible, fragged up things, and some of your soldiers would argue I did indeed deserve everything I endured.

He groaned, then got up because recharge wasn’t happening no matter what. His head was too full. Normally at times like this he’d go for a flight to clear his head, but since that was out of the question he decided to take a walk through the base instead. “I’ll be back, Knock Out.” his voice was quiet as he headed for the door, heading toward the common area. 

“What’re you doing up, Screamy?” Miko’s eyes crinkled up as she tilted her head up at him. 

“Number one, please do not call me that horrendous nickname, and number two, I was about to ask you the same thing. Tell me what’s bothering you and I will reciprocate?” Starscream sat on the stairs below her as she was sitting on the top landing, her legs dangling down and her chin resting on her arms as she leaned against the railing. 

Miko sighed, her pink tipped ponytails rustling as she pressed her chin further into her arms. “Mom called. She wants me to come back for the summer. But I don’t want to just leave you on your own!” she looked nearly like she wanted to cry. “I.. . .I never thought it’d happen, but I like you. You’ve become my friend and I hate leaving my friends behind.”  

“What about Bulkhead?” he asked softy. 

“Well, yeah, of course he’s my friend too, and I don’t wanna leave him either, but he’s not. .. “ and she took a deep breath, trying to find a way to phrase how she could sense how emotionally fragile he was without offending him, as that was the last thing she wanted to do. “He doesn’t need me as much as you do.” is what she finally settled on. “So, what’s your damage?” 

Starscream sighed and his own chin dropped to his knees. “It’s about something Optimus said to me earlier. How I deserved better than the hand I was dealt. But I don’t know that I do. I’ve done some very cruel, awful things, and I. . .I want to believe him, but I don’t know if I can.” 

Miko set her hand on his chin, lifting it up and meeting eye to optic. “You listen to me. Ya know why I saved you?’Cause Prime taught me everyone deserves a second chance . That includes you. You may have started out as an annoying little shitter at first, but you’ve shown another side of yourself in the past week that has demonstrated to me that Optimus was right. I mean, Optimus wouldn’t like you as much as he does if you were truly as bad a person as you think you are. Besides, you’re at war . People do bad shit to each other when they’re at war. You think the Autobots are any more innocent of being nasty and heinous to their enemies than you are?”  

A slight smirk graced her lips at that. “I mean, you may be arrogant, egotistical, and crabby, but we’ve all got our flaws, right? But you’re also funny, fierce, and protective as Hell of those you care about. And you’re far stronger than you realize. Recognize your flaws, do your best to correct ‘em, and embrace your good qualities. That’s all that could be asked of anybody , and all of us can see you’re trying your best.” The smirk turned to a smile. “Now go get yourself some rack, staying up all night isn’t good for anyone, not even a Cybertronian.” 

“Thank you, Miko.” he smiled in return and headed back to the med bay. He turned back at the door for a moment. “And for the record, I would rather you not leave, either, but if it’s only for a time, and I have a way to reach you. . .even if over text. . .we’ll never be apart. I promise you that.” 

As he exited the common area, Starscream almost ran headlong into Arcee, and his optics widened, enough that the black spaces in the sockets around the mechanisms were visible. The snarl on her face did little to soothe his nerves, and he knew that without flight and with his barely healed frame there was no way in the pit he’d be able to defend himself should she choose to attack him. His wings drooped down his back in an automatic defensive reaction, his autonomic systems doing what they could to defend the most sensitive portions of his frame. 

“Power down, I’m not going to attack a defenseless bot. Not even one as treacherous as you.” Her voice was a faint growl. 

“Where were those oh so high flung morals when I was chained up and couldn’t fly ?” It wasn’t animosity speaking, it was fear, but of course he knew somewhere deep in his processor that  Arcee wouldn’t realize that. 

Those words cut deep, deeper than the little fragger’s claws ever could have. Primarily because she knew he was right, Primus damn it all. The antagonistic stance she had taken when he’d nearly run into her faded away and she stepped back out of his personal space, but not  before his EM field brushed against hers, the fear and uncertainty in it giving her pause. “I still don’t like you. . .but I’m a big enough bot to admit you’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Starscream took in a large in vent as the femme stepped back from him, and he remembered the words Prime had said to him. I can be better than this. I can. “About your partner. . .I’m sorry. There were many reasons for why I acted as I did, ones that I am far too undercharged to get into for the moment, but for as much as I attempt to pride myself on my own sense of honor, what I did to him was not honorable, nor right. And I am sorry that I hurt you.” 

Arcee could only watch in sheer shock as he strode off, body unable to move for how stunned she was. An apology for Cliffjumper was the last thing she had ever expected to hear from him, and it rattled her all the down to her spark.   

Chapter Text

Starscream strode back into the med bay with a thoughtful expression on his face, causing Knock Out to loft a brow. “You look like someone dropped the weight of Cybertron on your shoulders.” 

“Yes, well, I’ve been given a lot to think on.” he sat hard on his berth, shoulders slumping. “How does Optimus do it? How does he inspire people to be better than they thought they were ever capable of?” He let out a groan. “You know what I was like under Megatron. . .I was a royal, as the humans would say, jackass . I betrayed him, not that that narcissistic afthole doesn’t deserve it, but still. I betrayed you , and I hurt others around me. I was not a good person . But just a week around Prime, and I don’t know. . .I have no desire to go back to that person. If I did, I would not be able to look myself in the optic in the mirror ever again. It would be a betrayal of the ones who have been kinder to me than I ever could have deserved.” 

“You know,” Knock Out had somehow gotten his hands on a buffer and was in the process of, with Breakdown’s help, getting the scratches that had occurred during his escape from the Nemesis out of his paint. “you do realize Big M manages to bring out the worst in just about everyone? He truly is a malignant narcissist, in my ever so professional opinion, though Primus knows I’d never say that to his face , I value my intact state.” he smirked a bit at that. “Prime? Well, he’s just the opposite. He’s kind, he’s decent, and he just gives off this aura of a leader you would want to follow. So it’s no wonder that being under his care you’d want to be the best version of yourself that you can be.” 

His expression changed from thoughtful to amused. Knock Out always had had a way to make him smile, and their new and unusual situation had not changed that. “I suppose you’re right but.. . .can I tell you a secret and you promise not to tell anyone else? Especially not Miko, she’d tease me until the day I stopped functioning, or she did, whichever came first.” 

“Of course I can keep a secret. I mean, didn’t I keep it secret from Big M how you planned to kill him?” the other smirked at that. 

Starscream slapped him on the shoulder playfully, and had he been able to actually blush his face would have been bright blue from the embarrassment. “Well. . .I like Optimus. You know, like like. I don’t know how the rest of the autobots would take that if I ever chose to act on it, but there it is. And I think he feels the same.”  A slight smile curved up his mouth, and he tilted his head down to hide the almost wistful look. “That’s part of why I actually apologized to that pit be damned two wheeler for killing her partner. The other part being. . .well, being around the autobots has made me realize what an afthat I’ve been to everyone around me. But at any rate, I want to be someone he’d be proud of . I’ve never wanted something like that before when I’ve felt as if I could achieve it, and it feels strange .” 

“Love usually does, Boss. I mean, when I realized I liked this big lug here,” Knock Out tilted his head back to steal a kiss from Breakdown, which earned him a laugh from his conjux. “I had all those feelings too, and Primus knows it took me forever to admit it to him.But look at us now, we’ve been bonded for a hundred thousand years, and never been happier about it.” 

“But my advice is maybe don’t wait as long as Knock Out did.” Breakdown advised. “I damned near gave up on him ever admitting it and almost ended up with someone else. Prime’s a hot catch, and if the medic has anything to say about it, he might not be single too much longer. “ 

“Now, now, don’t push, and let a mech get some sleep, poor Screamer looks like he’s about to fall over.” 

And fall over he did, onto his side on the berth and dropped into recharge without another word spoken.

Chapter Text

Author note, nexxt chapter is gonna be a day late, today got a bit busy.

Chapter Text

//”You’re weak, Starscream.”   Starscream felt his frame slide across the floor of the Nemesis’ bridge, rage surging through the field of the one whose fist had just last out and struck his helm hard enough to split it, ‘causing his own life fluids to surge from the wound and drip down his face I’ve been told helm wounds always bleed a lot. The words had been from Knock Out, he dimly remembered, the last time the medic had warned Megatron that the next time he hit him in the helm he might not be able to fully repair it and permanent damage to the flyer’s processor could happen.

Not that Megatron cared. He never cared. 

“Megatron.” the warning roiled out from Thundercracker’s field, he was going to murder that gladiator himself and feel no remorse for it. Not for the power, but to protect the one who held his true loyalty. //

No! No, I don’t want to see this again, please don’t make me see this again!

//A wing hit the ground next to his feet, trimmed in blue and yellow, then. .. most horrifying of all. . .a crushed spark chamber, the spark within flickering, dying, as the graying body of his brother rattled to the floor and his own intakes quickened as the massive pedes entered his vision, kicking him onto his back and his spark chamber was torn open by the massive servos of the warlord, one of them reaching in to squeeze it. Not hard enough to crush it, but a stern warning. “Defy me again, and you will meet the same fate as your brothers. Do not test me.”// 

The thrashing of the lithe frame on the berth had not gone unnoticed, a scream building up in the seeker’s chest as Knock Out signaled his conjux to stop buffing for a moment as he leaned over, shaking Starscream’s shoulder and being prepared to leap back quickly, as he knew how unpredictable the other could be coming out of the throes of a bad flux. 

“Herr Commandant, wake up! You’re having a rough flux!” 

Starscream sat straight up, eyes still haunted, claws lashing out and narrowly missing the medic. “Primus, that is one nightmare I never want to have again.” He was visibly trembling. “And before you ask, no, I don’t want to talk about it. Talking about it will make it more real, and that is the last thing I want right now.” 

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“You not only failed me, you let our medic and his conjux defect !” Megatron roared at Soundwave, a rare instance, and the communications officer simply did his best to ignore his angry leader. 

Soundwave: Safe. Leader: would never harm. Soundwave: Too important to harm . 

Except a traitorous part of his spark niggled at him. You said the same thing about Starscream, and look what happened to him . 

He stilled the instinct to flinch as the fusion cannon went off behind him, the body of one of the Eradicons flying backward to hit the wall. 

“Get him back to me, before I slag each and every one of you! Have I made myself clear?” 

“Crystal, Lord Megatron!” 

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After that rough early morning awakening, the seeker wandered through the base like a ghost, completely ignoring Ratchet’s words of worry for his safety, or maybe not ignoring, but not even hearing at all, as if he was locked up in his own head. It was not until he found himself up on the roof that Starscream came out of his trance just as the sun began to peek up over the horizon, bathing the entire canyon that the base was located in in oranges, reds, and blues that lit up the rock faces, making them gleam like gemstones. 

“Starscream.” 

The voice made him turn in a startled manner, wings shooting up and then stiffening to his back, the tension releasing as he realized it was just Optimus. 

“I am sorry if I startled you. I too come up here sometimes to watch the sunrise.” 

A swift headshake was Starscream’s response as the other mech sat next to him. “No no, it’s fine. I came up here because. . .well. . .couldn’t sleep.” He attempted to swallow back the lump of emotion as a servo reached out to lay over top his. “I like being able to see the sky, even if due to circumstances beyond my control it’s beyond my reach for now.” The servo on his was warm, comforting, but the feeling made his spark squeeze. 

“I haven’t even had time to process everything that has occurred since you all saved my life, you know? I’ve been so busy healing physically that I don’t think the emotional aftermath of it all has even sunk in yet. I have been simply living day to day, and yes, I’ve made some attachments here, and I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I am for your willingness to take Breakdown and Knock Out in, despite how crowded this place is getting, we may have to dig out some of the mountain to make room for everyone if many more of my former faction get sick of Megatron’s slag now that he no longer has his stress chew toy.” 

“You know, I have been curious, after finding out how bad he treated you, but never did dare to ask you while you were still recovering. With how awful he was to you, why did you stay so long?” 

The seeker’s optics offlined for a moment in thought, as if he was doing all in his power to rein in the memories of his trauma and choose his words carefully. There were so many reasons he had stayed, and in hindsight a lot of them felt like excuses now. 

“At first? I first joined the Decepticons because Megatron promised us a world free from discrimination, where one’s frame did not dictate their life’s path. It was a good cause in the beginning, considering how awful the discrimination had been in Iacon when I decided my life’s path was not in war, but in learning, in the sciences, in discovering other worlds and what they had to offer.” the silver shoulders slumped, head dropping. “Somewhere along the way he lost the plot, and it became more of war for war’s sake. By the time I realized the situation had become untenable, I was in far too deep, I had formed attachments to my comrades, and someone had to act as the punching bag and sacrificial lamb to absorb Megatron’s ire for mistakes that were made. How could I leave them to his tender mercies?” 

“What changed, aside from the obvious?” 

Another thick swallow, and his head turned, crimson meeting cerulean as Starscream again struggled for the words and finally decided just saying it straight out would be easiest. “He killed my trine. And he did it for no other reason than that Thundercracker. . .chose to stand up for me. Megatron could never stand divided loyalties, he’d always hated the fact that the other seekers were always more loyal to me than to him, and knowing  that if I left, he would lose his air force.” He turned the taloned servo up, interlacing their digits and giving Optimus’ a squeeze. “That’s why he tried so hard to break me.” 

“But he failed.” Prime pointed out. “You have survived what few bots could have and have come out of it damaged, but unbroken. And I cannot even express how proud that makes me.” 

It was not until those blue painted digits reached out to brush his cheek that Starscream realized coolant was leaking from his optics again, and he laughed. “I swear, I have cried more in these past few days than I have in millenia, probably since this whole slagging war started. I should be embarrassed, scandalized even, but with you, I don’t mind so much.” He shook his helm. “I am going to have to face him at some point, you know.” Starscream raised a hand as he knew Optimus was about to protest. “No, don’t say what I know you’re about to, that I don’t have to, that it’s in my best interest not to. I do have to, or I will never be able to let this go, put it behind me, and be ready to fully change factions, as I know you have been wishing  I would.” 

Then, he looked up into those fathomless seas of blue once more and made a statement that he suspected would tilt Prime’s world on its axis. “I’m beginning to become attached-no, more than that, and Primus knows I’ve been wrestling with being honest with myself, much less you about it- I am beginning to fall in love with you, and I don’t know if I’m ready to explore that yet. Is it truly. . .that? Or is it just attachment because you were one of the first outside of Knock Out and his Conjux to be kind to me? Until I have those answers, it should probably be left at that. It would  not be fair to lead you on until I’ve sorted myself out.”

Chapter Text

After the talk on the roof, Optimus went to talk to Ratchet in an attempt to process everything he had heard. 

“I want to help him, old friend.” Prime started out. “But I am not certain how. I have. . .very little experience with this level of trauma, and I do not want to say or do the wrong thing and retraumatize him all over again.” 

Ratchet turned from the readouts he was looking at when Prime walked in. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better, Optimus. Trauma can affect a bot in many different ways, but one of the most common things to happen is as soon as the bot with a lot of trauma feels safe, they can backslide because with safety comes the ability for the mind to let down its guard enough to actually have emotional responses to it. Self harm, lashing out, and in a few cases even self termination have happened when someone feels safe enough to begin actually feeling the emotional damage. But the fact that he’s mature enough to realize that he isn’t ready for an actual relationship despite how he feels about you is a damn good sign that Starscream recognizes just how much trauma he has locked up in his processor.” The medic set a hand on his leader’s shoulder. “This quiet and safety is also not going to last forever, and you’re probably going to be dealing with fits and starts as he wants to pick himself back up and fight to regain that sense of safety so he can go back to processing it all. I feel a bit sorry for him, to be honest.”

“I should probably give the children a heads up not to take any anger he may show toward them personally. Because it’s likely not to be, especially in Miko’s case as the two of them are friends.” Optimus’ tone is thoughtful. “At the same time, I should probably warn Miko to be delicate in how she speaks to him. She can be quite brusque at times, bordering on brash, and I would hate to see their friendship fall apart because she unintentionally triggered him and he lashed out as a result.” 

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Raf was the first of the children to arrive that day. He had not yet spoken to the newcomer, but he did smile a bit when he spotted Starscream in the common area, the seeker with an oversized sketchbook in hand drawing the skyline of a fantastical city the boy had never seen before. “Hi, I’m Raf.” he perched himself on the makeshift sofa next to Starscream, peering over his arm at the drawing. “Oh wow, you’re good at that!” 

His wings twitched in a combination of a flinch as the boy’s knee brushed his and a slight sense of embarrassment of being caught from the praise. His sire had hated how as a sparkling he would be constantly with pencil and paper in hand, the pad being filled either with whatever equations he’d been working on that day, or drawings of Vos’ skyline. But Raf’s gentle nature set him much more at ease. “Thanks.” 

“What city is this? I’ve never seen it before. It’s beautiful.” 

“It’s Vos. I was sparked in this city. You see here-” Starscream tapped a spot on the drawing with one taloned digit. “Just underneath the dome were thousands of perches where seekers would transform into their root modes, land, and settle in to either fuel or talk to each other. “ red optics shuttered. “I’m the last one left.” 

His intakes began to come more quickly, static flashing across his hud and filling his audials, wings lowering and tremors beginning to rock the slim frame as all the signs of an oncoming panic attack manifested at once, images of the whistling of the bombs, the sudden burn of the radiation, the mushroom cloud, and the flames climbing into the night sky filled his mind’s eye. His talons were biting into his arms, streams of energon trickling down them without the seeker even realizing it. 

Raf was wise enough to know the signs of a PTSD flashback when he saw one, he’d dealt with the same thing with Miko a time or two. He saw Jack come into the base with Arcee and gestured both of them to be quiet as he texted the older boy to grab a small high grade cube, as Starscream would need it when he came out of it. 

“Slow your intakes.” Raf said gently. “I’m going to place my hand on your back, ok? I promise nothing is going to hurt you.” The young boy’s hand settled onto the seeker’s spinal strut between the wings, gently rubbing before speaking again. “Unshutter your optics? Tell me what you see around you right now.” 

A soft whine echoed from Starscream at the touch to his back but he did his best to regulate his vents, sliding back the shutters on his optics. “The-the wall. The ground bridge controls. The door. . .” He recognized somewhere deep in his processor what the young human was doing, using well proven grounding techniques when dealing with someone having a panic attack. 

As he began to come out of the flashback, Bumblebee let out a series of beeps which Starscream could not help but laugh at as the scout slid a container of high grade into his servo. “Thank you.” his voice came softly. “I haven’t done that in a while, and to be honest I feel a bit embarrassed.” 

“Was it the battle of Vos?” Arcee’’s tone was sympathetic, showing she was not out to hurt. “I heard you were at ground zero when that thing went off, and that you were damn lucky to survive. I’m sorry.” 

He nodded. “Part of the reason my frame is so different now. The armor was fused to my protoform, I lost almost 30% of my frame during the healing process, and could no longer bear the weight of my old alt mode. My trine, my dear, sweet trine, changed their own frames in solidarity. Sweet Primus I miss them.” 

Another series of beeps from Bumblebee. “He says you’re the strongest bot he’s ever seen to survive that. Only a handful that were in the city state at the time survived, you were lucky.” Raf shuddered softly as Miko and Bulkhead came in, Jack having to grab Miko by the collar before she glomped her seeker pal. 

“Timing, Miko.” Jack warned before looking up at Starscream. “Listen, I didn’t like you much for what you did to ‘Cee’s friend, but if she can forgive you, I guess I can too. And it looks like you’ve gone through some shit ,-”

“Language, Jack.” Arcee smiled a bit as she said that. 

“-so who am I to hold your past against you?” 

Chapter Text

Later in the day, Ratchet had had Prime assign Starscream a private berth, but he wanted to let Knock Out know where his room was so that they could maybe knock back a high grade or two later. 

“I’m right down here at the end of the hall.” Starscream had to laugh when he realized that Knock Out and Breakdown had been given the room right next door. “Optimus has a sense of humor, looks like.” 

“You know, I’ve noticed how much you talk about him.” Knock Out can’t resist the tease as he elbowed Starscream in the side, smirking. 

“Oh shut up.” Another laugh, this one a bit less genuine. 

“Oh, just admit it, you like him.” 

The seeker suddenly went still, his head lowering. “Yes, against my better judgment, I do. But you know damn well I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.” 

“How do you know unless you try, Herr Commandant? You know he’d never hurt you, in fact I daresay he wants to murder Big M with his own servos for doing just that.” 

A sudden simmering rage was echoed in his EM field, unbeknownst to Knock Out he’d stepped right on a trauma trigger, stomped on it like a soldier stepping on a hidden land mine. “I don’t know what you think you know, Doctor , but trust me when I say you probably only know half of it.” Starscream’s tone had gone icy, a massive contrast to the heat of the field that brushed up against his friend’s. 

“You’re not fooling anyone, Starscream.” the Aston Martin’s tone lost the joking it normally held entirely. “I’m your doctor , I may not have been in the room with you for your. . .punishments. . but I was the one who had to put you back together after that fragger was done with you and more than once I’ve wanted to take my medical saw to his chestplate and carve his fragging spark out.”  

“Then maybe you should have! You should have been willing to lay your life on the line like my brothers did to protect me if you cared so slagging much about me! The fact that I had to nearly die to get away from his controlling, abusive aft says a lot about my so called ‘friends’, doesn’t it?” 

Knock Out could only gape as Starscream whirled, walking into his room without another word. 

____________________________________________________________________________

When the seeker got inside and shut the door, he half-ran into the room with the washrack, turning the solvent flow on as hot as he could handle, nearly falling down onto the floor as the droplets ran down over his back, shoulders shaking in heaving sobs. 

Why am I so stupid? Knock Out probably won’t ever want to speak to me again after that display, and I’d deserve it. 

Clawed digits ran down his arms as he sat in a daze, the blue fluid dripping from the wounds being washed down the drain. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Miko knocked at his door, having heard  the yelling from the common area worrying her enough to come check on him. “Screamer? You there?” The door creaked open as she jumped up to run her hand  over the scanner, muttering about stupid Cybertronian-sized doors as she did. 

The sound of the washrack in the back met her ears, and she followed it back, dark eyes widening at the sight that met her gaze as she crept back. Starscream curled up on his side on the floor, arms still oozing energon into the drain. “What in the fucking hell were you thinking?” Miko’s shout echoed off the wall, her face red with fury. “Are you trying to off yourself when we finally got you into some semblance of security and sanity?” She jumped up, turning off the faucet which had finally gone cold, stirring a faint moan from the seeker on the floor who flinched with every yelled word that came from her.  

Her own yelling had attracted Knock Out’s attention, and he crept in behind her. “This is my fault, kiddo. . .let me handle this.” he muttered, lifting Starscream up off the floor. “He used to do this a lot up on the Nemesis, trust me, it isn’t what it looks like.” He looked down at the seeker in his arms. “Fight me or scratch my paint and I’ll make you wish you’d been actually trying to off line yourself.” he warned Starscream. 

“Put me down.” Starscream’s voice, though a tad weakened, was firm. 

“No.” Knock Out responded. “It’s time the kid and I staged a fragging intervention. You have refused to help yourself for too long, and that means we have to force the issue. You aren’t under Big M anymore, you’re safe now, we’re safe now, and it’s time you realized that and started actually trying to sort out the mess your processor is. You don’t have to be the big bad Starscream laying waste to everything and every one in your path, including yourself, anymore.” 

He carried him down to the med bay, and dropped him on the berth. “He’s all yours now, Doc.” Knock Out stated. “Talk some sense into the moron, because to be honest I think all of us are sick and tired of him acting like Ravage when she gets into the high grade.”

Chapter Text

“So, you end up back in here.” Ratchet looked down at the seeker’s arms disapprovingly. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do. What the pit is wrong with you?” 

“Don’t you mean what isn’t ? You don’t get it, do you? I never had control of my own life! First it was the council trying to tell me what my life path was, then it was losing my best friend to a blizzard on some distant planet, and then it was the bombing of Vos, then the war! This-” Starscream gestured down at the slashes on his arms “Is the only way I have ever had autonomy! If I hurt myself before anyone else does, at least it’s me that’s in control of it!” 

“It’s not just that, though. You're so Primus be damned scared of someone hurting you that you push them away before they can throw you away.” The medic looked the seeker straight in the optics, as if daring him to deny it, to lie. 

It was Starscream that broke the stare off first. He knew Ratchet was right, and he could not deny it. “Do you know-’he began idly “How rare it is for someone to even survive a broken sparkbond, much less to recover from it enough to have the desire to do so again? I do know, I am one of those 2.5% that survive past the five vorn mark that allows a mech to purge the remnants of a broken bond so that they are able to bond again.” He turned his head to peer out the window. “Now do you see why I am so reluctant to explore my feelings for Optimus? Even though I know it would be an aid in my mental and emotional recovery? I would not survive a second broken bond, and I know how many have already died in this senseless war.” 

“Look, all I can tell you is that you have two people you need to talk to. Miko for one, because this whole self injury thing really hurt her. I understand the why of it, but she, being on the verge of adulthood or not, is still just a sparkling. She doesn’t get it, and for some reason I have yet to understand she’s afraid of losing you.” a slight smile perked Ratchet’s lips as he finished patching up the deep gouges. “Talk to Optimus. I think he’ll understand your worries far more than you think he would.” 

A soft nod as Ratchet indicated he was done. “I’m going to talk to Miko first. I hope to Primus she forgives me for scaring her like that.” 

Surprisingly enough, Miko was standing at the door of the med bay, her arms crossed, when he walked out. His wings drooped when he saw the simmering anger still on her face. “Miko. . .I’m sorry you had to see that. I promise you I will attempt to find. . .less destructive methods of coping with my impulses.” 

Her arms unfolded and she threw them around his legs, the closest she could come to a hug due to their height difference. “I forgive you. You scared the HellI out of me, when I found you in the shower I thought you were dead . Don’t do that again.” 

“Do you want to come with me when I talk to Optimus? I admit to being. . .a bit afraid, and I trust you enough to listen in on the conversation without picking on me quite as much as Knock Out would. Besides, he’s a bit on my slag list right now.” 

“As long as you don’t do anything nasty in front of me.” Miko’s eyes twinkled as she spoke. “Take it back to your quarters, mister.” 

Starscream sputtered and his expression was nearly scandalized. “For one, we’re nowhere near that stage yet. For two, interface in front of a sparkling? Just who do you take me for? Knock Out?” 

She giggled as they walked next to each other to track down Prime, and as they did, Starscream knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. “Optimus? Can we talk?” 

“Of course.” Prime’s face held a slight smile. “Come in, sit down.” 

The fluttering wings showed that seeker was nervous, but he wasn’t going to back down,not now. 

“Optimus, I feel like I owe you an apology. When I told you I wasn’t ready. . .” His helm was lowered as he did his best to find the words for what he wanted to say. “I think I was trying to push you away. You must understand, I have not had the best luck with relationships. And I was. .. afraid.” the admission was raw, more honest than he had ever spoken. “But I do. . .I love you, I truly do.” 

Prime reached over, taking both of the seeker’s servos in his own, his gaze intense. 

Starscream pinned his optics with his own before continuing. “I was bonded. . .before the war started.” his voice grew quiet. “I flew on an exploratory mission with him and he got lost in a blizzard. I searched for him, for months, but I could feel when the bond severed. I was afraid because. . .I cannot go through that again. I will not survive it.” 

“You are not the only one who has had a bond broken.” His servos squeezed the seeker’s. “When he was still Megatronus, the two of us were bonded. . .he intentionally and forcefully severed the bond at the beginning of the war.” 

“I want. . .to see where this goes. I’m still not certain if bonding is a good idea for us or not, I mean, we have both suffered the effects of a broken bond, but maybe. . .maybe once we’ve both healed a bit more. I still.  . .need to face down Megatron for what he’s done to me before I can even think on all of that.” 

“I will be with you, every step of the way. I promise you that. I will be at your side when you go to face him, and I will protect you. You may not be an Autobot, not yet, but you are still one of my own, and I protect my own.”

Chapter Text

“Ya know, Doc, I’m surprised how far Screamy’s come in just a bit over a week. “ Miko’s grin was nearly infectious. “I gotta say, I’m proud of him. ‘Course, he had some bumps in the road, but eh, that’s just trauma, right? I got a school talent contest coming up in a few weeks, maybe I’ll surprise him with a recording, yeah? I think he could use a little something to relax, he gets wound way too tight sometimes, and that’s the kinda thing friends are for.” 

“Funny thing that.” Ratchet grinned at her in return. “Arcee’s been complaining that some of her Lady Gaga cds have been going missing. Guess who’s room I found them in? Not Knock Out’s surprisingly enough. Found them tucked into a drawer next to the berth in here. I think a certain Seeker’s been ‘borrowing’ them.” 

“I blame Knock Out.” she laughed. “He’s probably the one that got the Scream Queen into her music in the first place.”  Her head whipped around as music played from down the hall, and she put a finger over her mouth to tell Ratchet to stay quiet as she crept down the corridor, following the sound. 

Miko cracked the door, and the sight that met her forced her to put a hand over her mouth to avoid cackling aloud and startling the seeker. 

                                       My momma told me when I was young

                                         That we were all born superstars

                                       She rolled my hair, put my lipstick on

                                              In the glass of her boudoir

Starscream was dancing , his movements graceful spins, almost liquid motions of his limbs, hips gyrating in almost joyous movements as the bass of the song pounded against the walls. 

                           “ There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are” she said

                                         “‘Cause he made you perfect, babe.

                                    So hold your head up, hon, ‘cause you’ll go far

                                                  Listen to me when I say!”                      

The girl nearly gasped when the seeker kick flipped off the wall, twisting his body in the air like a gymnast. His optics were shuttered, and she could tell he was simply living in that single crystalline moment, exulting in the movement. It’s probably been a long time since he was pain free enough to take joy in dancing like this.  

  Her eyes flew open wide as his voice joined  the chorus, not stopping his motions the entire time. The voice was surprisingly rich, a tenor bordering on baritone, perfectly on key. Who would have known he’d have perfect pitch?!?

                                        “I’m beautiful in my way!

                                      Primus makes no mistakes

                                       I’m on the right track baby

                                          I was sparked this way!”

It was a statement, Miko knew. Her friend’s way of stating to the world that he was not going to allow anyone to tell him who or how he should be, that whether it was Decepticon or Autobot, no matter which faction, he was who he was and he was no longer going to be ashamed of that, or allow anyone to shove him into a box with labels that did not fit him, and her heart soared with pride. He had survived everything that the universe and Megatron himself had thrown at him, and he was healing from it, growing, and he wasn’t going to let anyone stop him doing so.

                                   “Don’t hide yourself in regret

                                 Just love yourself and you’re set

                                   I’m on the right track, baby  

                                     I was sparked this way!”   

Miko had been recording on her  new smartphone the whole time, but what had begun as possible later blackmail material had morphed into being a cherished memory of watching someone she cared for come out of the darkness of his trauma to begin the process of healing and blossoming into the person he’d always been meant to be. I think I’ll keep this for myself. Maybe share it with Bulkhead and Arcee, but it feels like sacrilege somehow to use it for a joke like I’d planned.

As the song ended, with him giving a little flourish, bent over, wings held high, she had to resist the urge to punch the air in response. 

Starscream’s face  held a joyful smile, not his typical sneer, that smile reaching his optics and making them light up like a spotlight. You know. . .for the first time in so many vorns I can barely recall, I’m. . .happy. Honest to goodness happy. I want it to stay this way. And I swear, I make this oath in the presence of Primus, I will fight to protect this happiness. Am I perfect? No, of course not, but what bot out of us is? Am I damaged? Well, yes, after all that I have been through, how could I not be? But I am healing. I am remembering who I am beyond the traitorous glitch I was forced to be to survive. And that is all that could be asked of anyone.              

Chapter Text

An hour or so later, Starscream appeared before Prime, those optics which had been so haunted and terrified before holding a new fire and determination that had not been there before. “Optimus, I’m ready to get this brand burnt off and to take on new allegiances. It would not be proper for me to face down my demons with the symbol of my oppressor still branded on my frame.” The words were spoken in a firm tone, with a conviction not heard in his voice since Skyfire’s death in the arctic winds so many vorns ago. 

Prime took in every detail as those words were spoken. The seeker’s wings were stood straight up, matching Starscream’s posture. The perpetual slouch that his bearing had held aboard the Nemesis was gone, replaced by a straight spinal strut and a helm also held high with courage and determination.           

.

“I will inform Ratchet that you’re ready.” Optimus stood, setting a hand on the seeker’s shoulder. “I cannot express how proud I am of how far you’ve come, Starscream. You came to us a frightened, injured being, and now you are standing tall.” 

“It’s all thanks to you and your comrades, Optimus. The human children included.” a wistful smile tilted up the corners of Starscream’s mouth. “You saved my life, you showed me kindness when you didn’t have to, and when it might have been better at the time not to. The name ‘autobot’ once had a very different connotation, but now. . .now thanks to you it connotes the freedom the Decepticons were once supposed to represent.” 

The clawed servos suddenly were clutched in front of him as the other matter that had hung between them for the previous two days came to mind. “After I replace my faction branding. . .I wish to speak with you about another matter. One that has been on my processor since the last time we spoke. I am truly ready for the conversation now, ready for. . .next steps. But I do not wish to be wearing the tyrant’s brand when or if we do take that step.”                

“I look forward to it.” Prime smiled as he watched the seeker turn, heading back toward the med bay to have the Autobot badge branded onto his frame. 

__________________________________________________________________________

“I’m here.” the seeker’s silvers and reds gleamed under the med bay’s lights, thanks to a stop by Knock Out’s quarters to buff his frame, a way to make it up to him for the panic attack their argument had caused, which the medic  had been glad to do. The two of them were back on an even keel once more, for which he was thankful. 

“Go on and lay down.” Ratchet already had the tools ready, “You know, we all were running a betting pool for how long it’d take you to make this step.” 

“So, who took the pool?” Starscream’s smirk matched Ratchet’s own. 

“Would you believe Arcee? She had even more faith in you than Miko, surprisingly enough. Miko had said next week.” 

That proclamation left the seeker stunned into silence as one clawed servo rested over his spark chamber momentarily, a strange warmth filling him. “I will have to speak to her later, then. I am. . .surprised. .. to say the least, after what I’ve done to her.” 

“This may pinch, but it won’t take long.” 

The seeker went into stasis lock, and when his optics onlined again, he sat up, seeing the discarded emblem on the floor, and it brought a smile to his face as one heeled pede kicked it toward  the wastecan. 

“I never expected to ever be wearing this brand, but I must say. .. it feels far better than I ever expected it to.” One servo brushed over the Autobot sigil on his chestplate, awe tinging his face. “I swear to you, I will do all in my power to live up to this honor.” 

“Starscream, you already have, even before you took the sigil. You fought the demons in your head with far more courage than most. You made the kids feel safe. All of those are actions of one of us. Now, go on, show the others the decision you’ve made.” 

___________________________________________________________________________

He strode out into the common room, a bit nervously, but doing his best to put confidence into his steps, only to hear a laugh from Arcee. 

“Ok, Bulk, you owe me fifteen cubes.” she quipped before walking over to him. “Ya know, I haven’t said the words, but I think you already know. For Cliff. . .I forgive you. Welcome to the team.” 

Miko cheered, and when Bulkhead turned, his optics went wide. “Prime was right. I should never have doubted him.” 

Bumblebee just pulled Starscream in for a hug, and then a nougie, the beeped out message making the whole crew laugh. 

“Bumblebee, language.” he teased in return. “And no, I can’t say I share any CNA with Tarn, and I am quite happy for that fact.” A snort followed those words. “Tell me I’m not being hazed with some of this? Is this some sort of strange initiation rite, or is the scout already drunk on the high grade?” 

“Ya know we gotta pick on the newest member of Team Prime, right?” Miko laughed. “You may be my friend, but it’s not gonna keep me from picking on you. I did it to Wheeljack too.” 

The whole scene soon devolved into everyone sharing the high grade and laughing and all Starscream could think to himself as the evening began to draw to a close was This is what I have needed for so long.

Chapter Text

Once the party ended, a half drunk Seeker knocked on Prime’s door, smiling softly. 

Optimus opened the door, an answering smile on his own face. “It looks good on you.” he gestured with a single digit to the Autobot sigil on the Seeker’s chest. 

“It was a decision longer in coming than I think I even realized, Optimus. If I had taken your offer all of those vorns ago, when the war was just beginning, my brothers would probably still be alive.I have been a fool. I’ve made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in this universe. Of who I am. Starscream. And my place is by your side, my spark bonded to yours.”  

He leaned in to steal a kiss as the door closed behind them, then as the kiss broke he pinned Prime’s optics. “I’m ready, if you are. I know what I want, and I’m not afraid of it anymore.” 

Optimus took both of his hands, leading him back to the berth as the panels for both of their spark chambers slid open. “You’re beautiful.” the Prime breathed out in amazement as the golds and blues with the tiniest hints of purple flashed across his optics, the colors winding about each other within the seeker’s spark chamber. 

Tears dripped from crimson optics. Starscream had not been called beautiful since his youth, and to hear it from Prime of all people warmed him to the bottom of his spark. He pulled the other close, and as their sparks touched, he let down all of his walls. 

A soft hissing noise filled the suddenly silent room, and the sensation of being filled pulled a needy whine from the flier, Optimus’ name spilling from him. //All of me, body and soul, is yours, I trust you and give myself to you.//

  Optimus did his very best to hold on to his emotions as he walked within his new bonded’s memories, seeing everything from his sparklinghood, with an absent sire and distant carrier, to the bullying he received at the academy in Iacon simply due to him being sparked as he was. Then the loss of his first bondmate, and the pain and heartbreak he had gone through as a result, including losing the sparkling the two of them had produced because of his frantic search for Skyfire and the stress related to that. Finally, all the abuse he had suffered at Megatron’s servos, the beatings, the assaults of the most intimate nature to his person. All of it was sparkbreaking, but through it all, he sent pulses of reassurance through the newly created bond. //You are stronger than you have ever given yourself credit for, my spark. But I swear to you, I will never allow anyone to force you to survive such indignities again. You do deserve better, and I promise to give that to you.//           

Optimus moaned as overload crept up on him, and the feeling of the warm fluid pushed Starscream over the edge as well . In the afterglow, he curled up Optimus’ arms, dropping nearly immediately into recharge. I will never be alone again.  

__________________________________________________________________________

The two walked to the common area servo in servo the next morning to refuel, eliciting a wicked grin from Miko. 

“You owe me ten bucks, Jack!” she told her friend. “I told you this was gonna happen when Screamer disappeared from the party last night..” 

If looks could have killed, Miko would have been dead on the spot, but Starscream’s demeanor softened out as the embarrassment passed. “Optimus and I are bonded now.” he told everyone, tilting his head up to look at his bondmate with his face nearly glowing in happiness. 

Miko literally squealed, her lips tilting up into a grin. “After all this is over, we have got to plan a wedding! Make it all. .. official. . .and stuff! I bet Mrs. Darby would help, yeah? I mean, I have no idea what you cybertronians do for ceremonies and all, but I wanna see you guys all spiffed up and I bet it’d raise morale through the roof!” 

Optimus wasn’t sure what to say about that, but his thoughts were interrupted by a call from Fowler. “Prime! I thought I told you to keep your bots on a a low profile!” 

“We’ve all been here today, Agent Fowler. In fact, the rest of my soldiers have not yet awakened after a celebration here last night.” 

“Then explain this! I just got run off the road by a bot that looks just like you!” 

“Agent Fowler, that isn’t possible.” Starscream spoke up, a hint of mischief in his optics. “I know it isn’t, because Optimus was with me all night and we just. . .well. . .got out of bed.” 

Fowler almost choked on his coffee. “Starscream. .. is in your base. . .wearing your sigil. .. what the hell has happened in the week I’ve been on retreat? Could someone explain to me what in the star spangled frick is going on here? Also, what do you mean the two of you just got out of bed? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.” 

Miko was doing her best not to laugh at loud at Fowler, but she blurted out “Yes, Agent Fowler, when they said they just got out of bed it’s exactly how it sounds.”

Chapter Text

“We are going after MECH, yes?” Starscream asked. “We may find it necessary, considering they have an artificially created sparklesss bot out there that looks just like you. You have stressed to the others how important maintaining our cover is, as even Megatron insisted on that to the extent he was able. This destroys the ability to do that. It has to be MECH doing this, there is no other force out there that would clone you , Optimus.” 

“But Starscream, didn’t you-” 

“Yes, I did, Bulkhead, but they were clones of myself, designed solely to offline my abuser. I did not have them flying around stirring up trouble with the humans. And before you ask, number one, the cloning tech is on the Harbinger, MECH would have no way of locating it unless they simply ran across it. Number two, the controls for the cloning station are all in Cybertronian, unless someone on their team can read written Cybertronian they’d have no idea how to work it. Number three, they would need a very hard to come by CNA sample of Optimus. No, this bot was cold constructed.” 

Heeled pedes clacked across the metal floor as he paced. When thinking this way, Starscream had to be in motion. 

“Yes, we will be going after them, but no killing unless necessary. I will warn you all now, we do not know which of the Cybertronians dead or alive MECH may have gotten their servos on in order to create this copy of me. Or what condition said Cybertronian may be in if they are alive when we retrieve them. Be prepared for that.” 

“I want to be on the team, Optimus, that infiltrates MECH. I know where they are, I have had to rescue Breakdown from there before because Megatron in his oh-so-infinite wisdom-” and everyone in the room, no matter how little they understood sarcasm, could have heard his dripping from Starscream’s tone “decided that if he managed to get himself captured by humans he wasn’t worth a rescue effort. I just have an evil feeling about this whole thing, and it is going to trouble me until I see for myself why.” 

Optimus simply nodded. “Just be careful, my spark. As much as you are loathe to let me risk myself, you know the feeling is mutual. But this cannot be ignored. Arcee, Bumblebee, you will accompany us for this, Knock Out, we might need a medic on site, you will also come with us.” 

The red sports car saluted “Ready when you are, Dear Leader.” 

Starscream gave Ratchet the coordinates to bridge them in fairly close and he did all in his power to calm his jitters as Prime called out “Autobots! Transform and roll out!” 

_______________________________________________________________________

“Oh sweet Primus. . .” Arcee’s almost whispered exclamation of shock had Starscream transforming back to root mode and nearly running in behind her, and his own spark nearly froze at the sight that met his eyes. 

There, on a table nearly fully cannibalized, was the corpse of his late bondmate. He could not help the half-scream, half-roar that echoed through the building as static filled his audials that humans would dare to use Skyfire in such a way. The realization that it had been Earth’s arctic where he had lost the shuttle and their sparkling was a dim one that would not be fully thought on until later, but he lost himself, missiles firing at the copy of his current bondmate that after its deployment and return was berthed in the back of the base, blowing it sky high. 

“How dare you, how dare you?!?” Starscream did not even realize he was shouting, his claws lashing out, cutting through consoles all around him, what few humans were there scattering in terror as those taloned digits created a sparking mess of the stations they’d been at. 

He gently removed the restraints from Skyfire’s body, looking back in satisfaction at the smoking wreckage of MECH’s computers, and carried him out. He would not let the humans see the tears that had threatened, they did not deserve to see him that vulnerable. 

Optimus simply watched him do so, not scolding him for losing control, not this time, for he could feel the waves of horrified grief in his bondmate’s field coming off the seeker like a pulsing wound. “Arcee, Bumblebee, make sure any information they may have had remaining on how to do this is truly destroyed, though I suspect Starscream did a pretty thorough job of that. But they might have paper backups, and those must be eliminated as well. Once we return, Skyfire will be given a proper send off.” 

Knock Out meanwhile had followed his best friend out, he could sense how close the tears had been, and he had also seen psychotic breaks like this before from Starscream, though they had been quite rare in recent years. It only happened when those he cared for were harmed or violated. 

“I knew, Knock Out. . .I knew something was wrong , but I could never have predicted things were this wrong.” Starscream spoke in a hollow, near desolate manner. “This is the first time I have seen how horrible the humans could be to sentient beings that are not like them. And I am afraid. . .afraid of this coloring how I see those whom are my friends. Jack, Raf and Miko do not deserve my hatred, but these humans most certainly do.” 

“The others will be out soon, Starscream.” Knock Out assured him. “Once they are, we can return to base and your former bondmate’s body will be given the respect it deserves.” 

Chapter Text

As soon as the group got back, Starscream’s body began trembling, and he said in a quiet tone “Comm me when you have the funeral rites prepared. If I don’t go for a flight to clear my head I am going to be seeing that scene in my nightmares tonight. I won’t be long, maybe half an hour.” 

//My spark? Are you all right?// Optimus spoke to him over the bond, his mental voice concerned.

What do you think? Was on the tip of his mind to say, but he resisted the urge. //No, but I will be, with time. Just another trauma to add to the long list I’m already burdened with.//

//Be careful out there. The Decepticons have been quiet the past few days, but we cannot predict how long that will last.//

Starscream sent a sad smile over the bond as he transformed, feeling the cool evening air on his wings. He would not fly far, just to the cliff that overlooked Jasper so he could watch the sunset and the lights of the city come on. He looked down in surprise to see the femme climbing up the cliff as he transformed and sat. 

“Arcee?” his voice was quiet as she reached the top of the cliff. “What are-” then he looked to his right, and spotted the horn sitting a bit further back from where he sat, and the sadness already sitting heavy on his spark had guilt added to it. 

“Just came up to talk to Cliffjumper.” her own voice was soft. “You know, you never did explain to me why this-” and she swept her arm back toward the horn “happened. You don’t have to, but I think it’d give us both some peace of mind if you did.”

“He asked me where my ‘Master’ was. . .” Starscream shook his head. “I wasn’t planning on killing him, you must believe me, but when he said that. . .well, I had already been having a difficult enough time being crushed under Megatron’s pedes prior to him taking off for three years , so when he said that something in me just snapped . I reacted, lashed out, and next thing I knew, he was laying on the floor dead in a pool of his own energon. Later, someone told me I’d impaled him with my claws. I bragged about it, yes, but it was to bury my own guilt over it, and to hide how frightened I was of how I had snapped  that way.” 

“So he stomped on a trauma trigger without even realizing it. . .” she said, dropping into thought. “Just like you did with me the time you bragged about it.I’m sorry, by the way. For putting my blaster to your head the way I did. It was the wrong thing for me to do, and I’m a  big enough bot to admit I haven’t followed the Autobot creed every time either.” 

One clawed servo waved as if to say it wasn’t that huge of a deal. “I was your enemy who had snuffed out the spark of someone you cared for. I don’t hold grudges for the actions of my enemies.” he looked out into the sky, watching the reds, oranges, and purples of the setting sun paint the horizon in color. “I hold a grudge against Megatron because you are not supposed to hurt those whom are your own . Even before I began attempting to overthrow him, he would beat me if a mission failed, even if it was not my fault. He expected perfection from me, even if any sane person knows that’s impossible. I wish. . I wish I had listened to Optimus back when the war first started, when he offered myself and my seekers a way out after Megatron forced us to join him.”  A soft, sad laugh followed those words. “I did admire him, at first. I joined his resistance when it was not yet a faction. . .then I was assigned to the space station with my Trine to guard the dark energon. The faction wars had just begun at the time, and it was then. . .it was then he told me that I was to take the Decepticon brand or he would kill all three of us, that because I had joined his resistance I owed him my loyalty. Worst decision ever, looking back on it. I would not have tainted myself as I have had I simply chosen to let him kill the three of us back then.” 

“Tainted?” Arcee’s head tilted in curiosity. 

“I too have partaken in the dark energon. I had to in order to survive. I will never be able to join my brothers or Skyfire in the Allspark when I die.” The silver shoulders drooped, grief in every inch of his posture. 

“You know, you should talk to Cliff at some point, explain to him what happened. He was a good guy, I’m sure he’d understand. “ Arcee set a hand on his shoulder. “I think if things had gone differently the two of you would have gotten along. But ya know, we should get back, they’ll probably be ready for the funeral soon.” 

________________________________________________________________________

“It’d be better if we had a smelting pit here.” Optimus had his arms wrapped around his bonded from behind. “It would keep MECH from ever using him again, and Megatron from raising him as he did Cliffjumper as a zombie.” 

“A pyre will have to do.” Starscream responded as he lifted up Skyfire’s corpse, setting him on the platform they had built as he softly asked Breakdown to borrow his blowtorch for a moment, lighting the torch, then the wood on the pyre itself. “May your spark fly free, my bonded. . .may it join the Allspark to find life anew in future generations. Once all are one.” 

Once the pyre began to burn, he turned to those gathered. “Two of my bonded were desecrated this night. First, the bonded that I lost, right here on this world. Underneath the Arctic ice. The second was desecrated by having his visage copied by a bot that did not at all honor his likeness. MECH must be stopped, for good. It will not be my servo to end it, the autobot creed demands that humans are only to die by our servos in self defense, and I will not dishonor either my dead or my living spark by breaking that creed, as much as I would like snuff out the lives of every single one of those wretches that are the worst examples of what this planet has to offer, it is not who we are. Revenge harms only your own spark. Arcee taught me that.” 

Chapter Text

Settling in next to his bonded set the seeker’s mind more at ease than he had ever expected, even if he and Prime had to shuffle around a bit to find a comfortable position in the berth due to his wings. Morning would come to find him laying face down, his head resting on Optimus’ chestplate, the warm thrumming of the Matrix under his audial. 

“Soon, I will face down Megatron, for my own peace of mind I must confront him about all that he has done to me. I am feeling strong enough for it now. I saw Ratchet working on decoding something earlier, so I suppose we will have another mission soon?” He leaned up, pressing a soft peck to his bonded’s cheek. 

“Yes, but I am going to ask you to stay back at base for this.” Prime looked Starscream in the optics, his expression grave and serious. “It is nothing you have done wrong, and you know that I trust you. Implicitly. But the Decepticons will be chasing us at every turn in our search, and Megatron would seek to have you killed were you there. It is for your own protection. “ 

“I’m not made of glass, Optimus!” Starscream suddenly sat up, optics blazing scarlet. “I can handle myself, you know that! I’ve survived everything he has thrown at me and spit in his face for his troubles.” 

Optimus set both of his servos on his bonded’s shoulders. “Listen to me. I know you can handle yourself, but you are not the only one that needs protecting now.” he set his hand on Starscream’s chestplate, over his spark. “You have a sparkling that must be protected until we can obtain a protoform to transfer the tiny spark into, and if you die, it dies with you. This little one is to be protected at all costs. There are too few of us as it is, and this little life is a gift.” 

The seeker calmed, lowering his head and then nodding. “I know. . .but you must know it doesn’t make me feel any better about you going off on missions without me. If I lost you. . .” the expression on his face showed clearly how well he would deal with it. As in not well at all. “I would not survive another broken bond, and I think we both know that. It was a miracle I survived after.. . “ 

“I have faith in you, my spark. You are far stronger than you know.” A gentle touch urged the seeker back down and gentle hands on his back lured him into recharge. 

___________________________________________________________________

The morning brought news that the first relic location had been deciphered, and Starscream could not help but pace, a forgotten energon cube in his hand half finished. He had a bad feeling about this being left alone in the base. And he would be truly alone, even the kids were going to be helping with the excavation. 

“The spark extractor is an evil, evil device that should never have been created. We cannot under any circumstances allow Megatron to get his grubby servos on it.” he muttered. 

“Don’t worry, Starscream, we won’t let him.” Arcee assured him, Bumblebee beeping out much the same message with a bit of a smile. “We shouldn’t be too long, just be ready for our call to bridge us back with it, ok?” 

Optimus leaned in for a good bye hug and kiss, one that filled the seeker with warmth. “You, be careful out there. If you are hurt or killed, I will find a way to follow you and beat your aft for it. Do you understand me?” 

“We will be all right, my spark, I promise you.” Were the Prime’s parting words as the ground bridge opened and they all filed through. 

A wrench, expertly thrown, smacked him in the shoulder, drawing a yelp as he turned to see Ratchet with a slightly teasing expression. “You worry too much, Starscream. Don’t worry, if he gets hurt he gets the wrench of doom from me.” 

Miko’s own teasing expression was turned on him. “If you’ve gotten one of his wrenches, it means you’re one of us now. Cherish it.” she quipped as the group disappeared. 

______________________________________________________________________

“We have found their base, my lord.” Airachnid clicked her legs together, a faint smirk on her face. “Shall I send out a contingent of vehicons to destroy it?” 

“Do it.” Megatron instructed her, his expression hard as a stone. “If we are fortunate, my former second will still be among our enemies and we can take him out as well. I am tired of giving the backstabbing traitor so many chances.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

A sudden explosion rocked the missile silo, the lights flickering while Starscream was in the washrack. The only sound he had a chance to make before the roof came down on top of him was a very embarrassing squeak, much like he had on the last occasion Megatron had beaten him. 

Chapter Text

Just after they had dug up the spark extractor, Optimus suddenly went very still, expression one of worry and sudden fear. “Wrap up that relic, we have to get back! Now!” he called to the rest of them. Bumblebee stashed the spark extractor into the Prime’s trailer as he transformed. “We are not going to be able to bridge back, we will have to drive. Take back roads so we do not get stopped for speeding and get back as quickly as safely possible!” 

Bumblebee’s beeped response had Raf quickly getting in, as Bulkhead’s opening door did with Miko, whose own eyes were wide with worry. “Something must have happened back at base, I’ve never seen Optimus that panicked.” she murmured to her partner as they got on the road. “I hope Screamer’s ok.” 

“Guy’s like a cyberroach, Miko, don’t worry. You step on him, he just gets right back up. He may be small, but he’s one of the toughest mechs I’ve ever met for all that. If getting a fusion cannon through his chest didn’t kill him, whatever happened back at base isn’t gonna.” 

Dirt and rocks flew up into the air as Prime took off, hoping to cut down the time the normally hour and a half long journey would take, the panic and pain he was sensing through the spark bond surging through his own spark. 

_____________________________________________________________________

“He’ll come for me, I know he will.” Terror welled up within the seeker as he was buried, claustrophobia and the pain he was in from being crushed by the rubble creating a potent mix inside of him. He had already tried using his claws to dig himself out, and he was beginning to grow less and less coherent from the amount of energon leaking inside his chassis from crushed and torn lines. 

`”Starscream!” The voice belonged to Miko, thought it was faint, and he was not certain if it was because he was beginning to lose consciousness from the energon loss, or the distance. 

When Prime pulled up behind Bulkhead, his spark sank. 

“Oh no. . ..” Ratchet whispered. “We needed that.” The base was near-rubble, the roof fully caved in, and though the walls still stood, there were cracks tracing all up and down them. “If Screamer’s still in there, we need to dig him out before the walls collapse too. If those walls collapse. .. .” he didn’t finish that sentence, he knew that the still standing walls were bearing most of the weight of the collapsed rubble and if the walls collapsed as well, the slender seeker would be crushed flat under the weight. 

//My spark? I’m here. Can you hear me?//

//Optimus. . .// the voice along the bond was weak, but there. //I was in the washracks when they bombed the place. Seriously, they could have at least let me finish my shower before they blew the place to smithereens.//

“He’s in the washroom.” Prime informed them. “It’s in the middle of the building, thankfully, so there is less chance of us knocking down the walls while working. Be ready for some field medicine, Ratchet, he sounded a bit weakened when I used the bond to reassure him we’d returned and he told me where he was.” 

//Hurts.// 

//I know, my spark. We are working on getting you out of there.// Prime and the others had begun tossing rubble aside //You must remain calm, when the weight comes off of you, any broken lines that may be leaking will get worse, panic will only speed the leaking.//

“Primus.” Knock Out’s own words were stunned. “You gotta understand, Prime.” all of the sports car’s normal bravado was gone. “Seekers don’t do well in enclosed spaces. It took me a full day to get him back fighting fit after he got trapped down in the mine.. Not that Megatron shooting at him when he finally got free helped.” 

//I see light! I think you might almost be through. Thank Primus.//

A crash sounded from behind them, and Bumblebee transformed, heading  toward the sound., beeping out that he’d guard their backs while they dug. 

“What in Primus’ name happened here?” The voice came from behind the group from a red white, and blue striped bot as he took in the remains of their former base. 

“Smokescreen.” Ratchet recognized that voice almost immediately. “Bad time to ask that question, come here and help us dig .” 

Smokescreen didn’t question further, merely joined Ratchet and Prime in digging through the rubble until finally a silver taloned servo broke through, Optimus immediately grabbing hold of it to comfort his bondmate as the other two completed the process of digging him out. 

Smokescreen’s optics nearly popped out of their sockets as the slender body was removed from the hole they had dug out, and Ratchet immediately got to work. “Ok, someone explain this to me. The stiletto heeled freak is here ? And is that the Autobot brand on his chest? I’m really, really confused.” 

“They aren’t stilettos, for frag’s sake, they’re lifts.” Starscream’s voice held a crabby tone. “Also, I’m here because I live here, or did before my former boss , because I can’t imagine anyone else would want to do this, bombed the place to slag . Also, I’m spark bonded to Optimus and have no intention of leaving, so learn to get along or frag off. Now, if you will excuse us I would like to let Ratchet keep me from bleeding the frag out because I think it’d make Optimus extremely upset if that happened.” 

Smokescreen just stood there, mouth agape, as Knock Out strode up to him. “Here’s the tea. Two weeks ago the boss here tried to steal some energon from Big M. Needless to say, he didn’t take that well, and blew Herr Commandant’s aft out of the sky, where he hit the ground with a hole in his chest the size of my fist. Few days later, Breakdown and I here decided frag this slag we’re out, and we get into a huge confrontation, and Prime here brings us back to the base. Starscream heals up both physically and mentally, switches factions, and he and Prime sparkbond. Now we’re hunting down these relic things, and you got here just after Big M decided to try to take us all out in one fell swoop. That should be about it.” 

Chapter Text

“I’m going to murder a bitch for what he did to the Commander.” Breakdown’s voice was a faint growl. 

Arcee had driven through the abandoned military base and as she returned she told Prime. “There’s a hanger about ¼ mile down that way.” she pointed to the east. “We can set up there for now until we can find somewhere better, once we get our stuff out of the rubble. The place looked pretty big, with a trap door in the floor and a pretty good size space underneath.” 

Ratchet slipped his tools back into his subspace pouch, helping Starscream to his feet. “Take it slow, you’re still not a hundred percent yet. Just consider yourself lucky you instinctively put your wings down when that roof fell in, I’d hate to have to clone you another pair.” 

“Of course, Doctor.” he slowly strode over to Optimus, planting a peck on his cheek. “The sparkling’s still safe and sound, thank Primus.” 

Smokescreen’s optics went wide when Prime reciprocated the gesture with a soft smile. “Man, that’s not something I thought I’d ever see. Prime’s managed to domesticate a former ‘Con.”  

Arcee laughed “If anything it’s a mutual domesticating. Never thought I’d say this, after what he did to my partner, but without Megatron’s influence and servos all over him, Starscream’s not such a bad bot. A bit bitchy sometimes? Yeah, but it’s something we can live with, and Primus knows he listens to Optimus better than I do sometimes. He’s one of us now, so like he told you, gotta learn to deal with him being here just like we have Knock Out and Breakdown. All three of them have been valuable additions to the team, and I’m also not going to deny Prime what he wants when he’s made what that is pretty obvious. They’ve both been good for each other. Prime’s softened Starscream, and Starscream’s pulled him out of that stiff shell.” 

“That’s what a good bonded is supposed to do.” Smokescreen nodded thoughtfully.. “Just never thought I’d see the day when such an unlikely couple happened.” 

They continued digging through the rubble for all of their equipment through into the evening, slowly carrying all their equipment down to the hanger Arcee had found. 

Optimus found his sparkmate staring down on the rubble, a sad expression on his face. //What is it, my spark?//

//The fragment of Skyfire’s chassis I kept when we burned his body. . .the holovids of my brothers. . .all of the datapads with my Vosian poetry in them. . .most of them were probably destroyed when the bombs went off. So many keepsakes I will never be able to replace.//

Optimus put his arms around Starscream, sharing in his grief. //I know. ..it is a great loss. But the memories will always remain with you. A part of Skyfire and your brothers will remain in your spark for as long as you function, such is the nature of your bonds with them.//

Knock out walked over with a few items in his hands. “The datapads are toast, sadly, but didn’t you say you had copies up on the Nemesis for the datapads too? Not sure if the holovid projector itself still works, but the chips and drives inside are still intact, so the data is probably still there.” Starscream had not even had to say anything to Knock Out for his best friend to know what had saddened him, the medic just knew him that well. He could not hear the spark bond chatter, of course, but this mech was his best friend. He knew him near as well as he knew his own bonded.

“I can repair the holovid projector if the chips and drive are intact as you said.” Ratchet offered. “And we’re going to have a mission on the Nemesis for one of the relics anyway , Megatron beat us to the Forge of Solus Prime. The ones we send can make a detour for the copies of your datapads since they’ll be up there anyway.” 

A sound suspiciously like a whine came from the seeker as Ratchet and Knock Out joined the hug, then a soft shaky sob, the emotions of gratitude and warmth overflowing his processor and they had to come out somehow. “You don’t know how much this all means to me.” his voice shook as he spoke those words. “I go from having no one but Knock Out and Breakdown to suddenly having a full faction of people that care about what happens to me, and to be honest I almost don’t know how to handle it.. I’m so used to everyone just. . .ignoring me when things happened. They all just turned their backs when Megatron used to beat me, these two were the only ones who gave a slag.” 

“Screamer.” Miko hugged his leg. “You’re our friend and we love you, ok? We’re going to get set up in the new base Arcee found, get you and everyone else cleaned up, and get ya’ll some rest and we face the day tomorrow in a better place than today. We all lost stuff in this situation, but we’re gonna rebuild and it’ll be better than today.” 

Raf smiled as he held up his laptop and two external hard drives. “I was able to get into Teletran 1 wirelessly and take backups of everything , so even if we can’t get the mainframes out, we’ll be able to start over again with the mainframes in the new base. “ 

“Thank you, Rafael. Your skills have once again been of great service to us.” Prime’s relieved smile filled the boy with pride. 

Bulkhead and Breakdown had begun moving the berths to the new base with laughter ringing between the two, Bumblebee beeping out directions as they did. Starscream too could not help the hiccuping laugh. The atmosphere, despite the struggle and loss of the day, was a balm to his spark with how starkly different it  was from the one on the Nemesis where one had to constantly watch their backs lest they find a knife in them. It was warm, loving, and familial.

Chapter Text

“Primus I’m exhausted.” As everything finally got settled sometime late into the night Starscream looked around the common area of the new base. The underground tunnels of the new base had certainly given them much more space. The kids had long since been taken home, and all he wanted to  do now was figure out where he and his bonded were going to sleep and collapse into recharge. He gripped the piece of metal in his servo, he would have to thank Knock Out for bothering to go through the rubble atop his room and getting his things later.

“Our room is to the right.” Prime settled an arm over his shoulder, directing him toward the room. “If you would like, I will have a chain created for the chassis flake for you, so that if something like that ever happens again, you will have it with you.” 

With a smile, Starscream took the repaired holovid projector and set it on the shelf, and when he was pulling his hand away one of his talons accidentally activated it, and he suddenly let out another shaking sob, but this time he did his best to hold it back as a servo reached out to the images that sprang forth. 

It was one of when they had gone to the entertainment district in Vos, before the destruction of the city state. 

“Screamer, come onnnn! Join us on the dance floor already, you’re too much of a stick in the mud!” It was, of course, Skywarp, his black and violet wings were smaller in the holovid, as they still had their old tetrajet alt modes.  

“Skywarp, for Primus’ sake, please stop calling me that stupid nickname!” But he did get up to dance, and he actually honest to goodness smiled at his brother. 

Prime could not help but stare in wonder. Starscream looked entirely different in the holovid, his frame stockier, with red chestplate, blue servos and pedes, and the rest of his body a gleaming silvery grey. His wings had red stripes on them, and there was not a faction sigil to be seen on him. 

“This was from before the war.” Starscream’s voice shook as the servo he had held out attempted to touch the images of his brothers. “In fact, this was the night before our home was razed to the ground. I had come home on vacation after losing Skyfire. . .before Iacon accused me of murdering him and threw me out.” He shook his head wearily. “For years we thought it was Tarn that had launched the missiles. It wasn’t until the factions began forming that I found out that the Autobot Council had planned the bomb strike all along. And now I wear the same sigil that those who murdered my people wore, with the meaning not the same at all.” 

Optimus took the seeker’s servos in his. “I am sorry for what they did to your home. I can see now why you refused my offer back then. I would have too, in your shoes. Had I had the power and the knowledge back then, I would have done all in my power to stop it.”

“I know you would have.” Starscream set his hand on Prime’s cheek. “I would never have thought I would say this, but I trust you. Implicitly.” 

______________________________________________________________________

When he first awoke, the seeker was disoriented, but he sat up with an “Oh, yes. We moved to the new base last night.” A stretch, and he rose from the bed, padding out to the common area. 

“Screamy!” Miko called. “Good morning.” 

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” 

“We’re going to be leaving in a minute here, no worries. Just wanted to make sure you were ok before Jack, Raf, and I took off.” 

The tiny arms wrapping around his leg made him smile. “So, is it true? I heard you and Optimus are going to be making a baby you and him!” 

“One of these days I am going to sit you down and teach you the birds and the bees Cybertron style, but today is not that day.” a soft laugh came from him as he directed the children toward their partners to head off to school.

A woman with a dark ponytail had come into the base to pick up Jack, and she had her hands on her hips. “You will be teaching the children no such thing. It’s bad enough they already know the human biology of that!” It was, of course, June Darby, Jack’s mother. As Starscream had recalled from the single time he had met her, she was insanely protective of both her own sparkling, and of the other two as well. 

“Uh, Mrs. Darby?” Raf raised his hand. “I already know some of it, and Jack is nearly an adult.” he seemed to almost cringe as the woman turned that glare on him. 

“Mom, we take sex ed in sixth grade , and I doubt cybertronian reproduction is any more scandalous than the way we do it.” Jack complained at her then muttered how his mom could be such a prude sometimes.  

As the three left, the base was near silent again. Arcee had  gone off to the cliffside to talk to Cliffjumper, Bulkhead was off on patrol, Ratchet was in another room setting up his new med bay, and his bonded was still recharging after the previous exhausting night. He figured Knock Out and Breakdown were still. . .busy. . .elsewhere. Bumblebee was taking the two younger children to school. 

“Morning.” The voice belonged to Smokescreen, the younger mech heading over to the energon dispenser. “You know, I’d heard stories about you on Cybertron, before everything went up the pike there.” the sportster’s voice held a thoughtful tone to it. “That you were a loudmouth, hot tempered, sarcastic, and well. . .” if Smokescreen could have blushed he would have. “Other stories I have no intention of sharing, because they were bad and I didn’t quite believe them.” 

“Oh, you mean the stories that I acted like. . .shareware?” Starscream’s tone held a touch of venom, but it wasn’t directed at the mech who thought he could one day be Prime. “Trust me, I’ve heard them all. And not a one from Iacon Academy that spread those rumors ever bothered to come to me to verify the truth of them. I respect that you did not believe them.” The seeker shook his head wearily. “If they had bothered to verify the truth of the matter, they would have discovered I had interfaced with only one mech, and that was one I later sparkbonded, before he up and died on me.” 

“Wasn’t just you they said that about. They told me it was a Seeker trait in general. Iacon was. .. not the nicest to flight frames.” 

Starscream snorted. “Not the nicest is an understatement. Racist afthats is what they were.” He shuddered faintly. “Of course me only having interfaced with one mech at the time wasn’t for their lack of trying.” He remembered with far more clarity than he should considering the number of vorns it had been since then how three of the worst of his bullies had cornered him outside of his door and how grateful he had been that Skyfire had come to bring him the datapads for his homework he’d forgotten and had chased the bullies off before they had had time to do much more than dent his plating a bit.

“In us grounders’ defense, none of us knew much about fliers, the lot of you rarely came into Iacon. Doesn’t excuse the slag they did to the few fliers that did come into the city, though.” 

Starscream had his estimation of the youth rise due to his ability to take in all angles of a situation with open and unbiased optics.

Chapter Text

The mission to get the Forge of Solus Prime filled the base with electricity as the group assigned began their preparations. Knock Out leaned in and draped an arm over Starscream’s shoulder, murmuring reassurances. “We’re gonna be fine, no worries, Herr Commandant. We intentionally chose a time when Big M was off the ship dealing with other things. I’ll even steal you a protoform while I’m up there so you can offload that sparkling and have Dear Leader stop fussing over you so much.” 

“Considering that I know the reason Megatron is off the ship, you aren’t reassuring me much, Knock Out.” the seeker muttered. “He’s challenged Optimus. Again!” 

“Your bonded can handle himself. You know that better than anyone.” 

“I know. But it doesn’t make me feel any less like following him to try to protect him from the slagger.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

When the group arrived on the ship, they got the surprise of their lives when instead of the fight they had been prepared for, they instead got an uneasy and hovering Soundwave. 

“I’ll handle this.” Knock Out assured them as he approached the communications officer. “Soundwave, you look like you want to say something, but aren’t sure how. Am I right?” 

What was suddenly shown on his visor knocked the wind out of the entire group, Soundwave’s tentacles stayed down by his side, but they rustled as some emotion that not even Ratchet could identify rose up in the Decepticon’s new second in command. 

There, playing on the visor, was video of Shockwave’s lab, and as the camera panned over two seekers, one trimmed in purple and yellow, the other in blue and red, were floating inside stasis tanks, dozens upon dozens of protoform eggs lining the floor. Soundwave’s trembling demonstrated how disturbed he was by what he had seen.  With a single gesture of a servo, a ground bridge opened, and as Knock Out popped his head through, he nodded. “Soundwave. . .we got room for you if you ever decide you want outta this joint. I can tell this whole thing has you shaken something fierce, and you know as well as I do that Megatron isn’t who he was when alla this started.” 

And with that the group strode through, giving Soundwave time to think on the whole thing. “Be careful with those eggs. And the tanks.” Smokescreen was skeeved out by  the whole thing even as Ratchet’s voice carried in the still room. “I found the forge.” he told the others.  He found a container by one of the larger tanks and began carefully settling the eggs into it. 

“Those eggs won’t handle subspace well.” Ratchet warned. “Find more containers, we’re going to have to carry them through the bridge by hand. Bulkhead, carry those tanks straight back to med bay, I don’t want to risk them being handled any further than possible until I know how bad the damage to Thundercracker and Skywarp is.” 

“Right.” 

“I also don’t want Starscream seeing them until I’ve had a chance to look them over, no sense giving him false hope, we’ve already seen how badly he was affected when he thought they were dead.”

A nod as the bridge Ratchet had called for opened, straight into the med bay as he had requested. Smokescreen followed him through with the Forge and the first bucket of eggs. 

It took about 45 minutes to get all of the eggs out of the lab and back to the base’s med bay, Knock Out returning with the data pads and several other little nick nacks from Starscream’s quarters.  

________________________________________________________________________

Optimus himself arrived back a few minutes after they did, a bit dinged up but that was the norm for he and Megatron’s little tete e tetes, and it had provided a perfect distraction for them to get their hands on what they had gone to the Nemesis for.  

He nuzzled his bondmate, wondering where everyone else had suddenly disappeared off to as soon as they had come in. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Ratchet’s face tightened in determination as he opened the first stasis tank, immediately getting the first of the two into a med berth and onto life support, then the second. Shockingly, with the amount of damage done to the seekers, they had survived not only the journey back to base, but being removed from stasis and transferred to life support. The eggs had been settled into a makeshift incubator to give them the warmth they needed to hatch. 

“Your brother and trine leader is sure going to be glad to see you guys. But you’re going to be in for the shocks of your lives when you find out how much has changed since.” 

__________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the group had come back to the common area about half an hour later, Starscream deep into conversation with Miko when the half full cube of energon in his hand suddenly dropped to the floor, shock settling onto his features. 

//Screamer?// The end of the trine bond that had been dead for three earth years had suddenly flared back to life again. 

//Am I. . hearing this right? But how?!? You were dead, you and Thunder both, I watched him.  . .he killed you!//

//Last I remember was getting our afts kicked by the blowhard, then coming back online wherever this is.//

Tears were streaming down his faceplates as he reveled in the warmth from at least one of his trine, before he stood, told Miko he’d be back shortly, and ran toward the med bay, hoping beyond hope he was right. 

“Starscream, what are you-” Ratchet began to ask before he tracked the tearful smile on his face. 

“They’re alive!” he felt like shouting as he lifted up Skywarp’s hand first, then over to Thundercracker’s. “When I got poked on the trine bond for the first time in three years, you do not understand how shocked I was. And of course it’d be Warp to find the strength to fight stasis to reach out first, the damned glitch.” but the word that would normally be an insult was spoken with an affection reserved for people he cared for.

“You should know, it was due to Soundwave that we found the two.” Ratchet gave the seeker a serious look. “His posture indicated that the entire thing horrified him, but I suspect he kept it hidden until you had escaped Megatron and defected in order to keep you out of harm’s way the best that he could. Loyal to Megatron or not, Soundwave is a bot of honor.”

Chapter Text

Another week passed, and Starscream’s trine began to wake, he had been called down to the med bay to be with them when they did, at Ratchet’s request. At the same time, Knock Out brought in a protoform from the Harbinger. 

“Told ya I’d get you one, Boss.” he gave Starscream a smile. “Now you can get that little spark into a body safe and sound, no more having to worry about staying back because you’re carrying.” 

“Carrying, Scream?” the voice was soft, and Starscream turned his head and realized it was Thundercracker waking up. He took his older brother’s servo in his, a rush of relief and other warm emotions in his field. “Also . .you’re an Autobot now? You need to explain everything , don’t worry I’ll keep Warp from being a glitch and trying to kill the medic.” 

“Well, Megatron in his ever so infinite wisdom decided trying to offline me was a good idea just because I stole some energon from him. I was a rogue for nearly a vorn prior to that, living off whatever scraps I could find. I was rescued by the big green Wrecker and one of the Autobots’ human pets, by the way, treat said human pet with respect, Miko saved my worthless aft by getting Ratchet here out to me, I owe her my life and will tolerate no disrespect toward her. At any rate, the Autobots took me in, helped me through the worst of my trauma flaring up, and even took in Knock Out and Breakdown when they came looking for me because Dear Leader also thought it was a smart idea to send them to kill me. They told him to frag off, naturally, so now neither of them can go back. Oh, and I sparkbonded the Prime, and now have a sparkling that thanks to having damaged gestational protocols, the council can frag right off, thanks kindly, for dosing us all up with enough radiation to make that a thing that happened, I have to transfer to a protoform here now.” 

 A faint sigh passed his derma as Skywarp’s optics unshuttered as well, blinking in confusion. “Scream finally caught sense and left that afthole?” 

“Warp, stop poking the brand, please.” but Starscream’s expression was affectionate. “But yes, I defected and switched sides, and have never been happier.” 

“We can feel it, Star.” Thundercracker smiled as he simply let himself sink into the EM field filled with warmth and joy. “You haven’t felt this over the moon since. . .well. . . him .” TC was kind enough not to mention Skyfire’s name. 

“He would want me to be happy, we all know that. Optimus has been good to me, made me feel welcome. Oh, so you know we took all the protoform eggs out of the lab we found you both in as well. They are in the incubators over there.  We were not letting Megatron rebuild his army on the backs of my brothers.” the seeker gestured toward the huge bank of warmers on the opposite wall. 

//Screamer. .. are you sure you’re, really ok? I mean, I sense a lot of happy fuzzies, but there’s something else under there. You know you can’t fool TC and I, TC’s just too fragging polite to ask you about it.//

Starscream took a deep vent, about to tell his brother to stop being a worry wart when Skywarp asked a very pointed question. 

//Did that slagger keep beating you?//

The change in the seeker’s field was almost instant, like a sudden flash storm rolling in, and he did not have time to close the trine bond before the flashback hit full force, the pain, the splashes of his energon hitting the floor, the terror surging through his spark with each blow from that massive clawed fist, helm banging into the wall as he was thrown with a force that if he had not long ago learned to relax his frame would have torn said helm right off. All of it spilled across their connection in a foul deluge.

“I. . .am going to fragging kill him.” Warp’s tone was low, furious. 

“No, Warp. we are going to. None of us face him alone, you understand that? Besides, this is Star’s right, his place, to spill Megatron’s energon. . .not ours. We don’t have that right.” TC placed a servo on Warp’s shoulder joint. “That doesn’t mean we’re not going to be right there with him to back him up. Trine’s family, that’s what we do.”

Chapter Text

It isn’t long before Prime himself enters the med bay, a kiss pressed to his bonded’s helm drawing a snicker from Warp as the youngest of the three laid back, allowing Ratchet to get at that tiny crystal that was nestled in next to his own inside his spark chamber, the tiny flickering light being nestled carefully into the chest of the protoform that Knock Out had brought back. 

That show of trust was the last thing Thundercracker needed to assure himself this was not some fragged up dream, that his baby brother was truly safe here and had formed attachments that he never would have with anyone but a few select people on the Nemesis. 

The last step had involved getting a sample of cna from both parents to jump start the process of the cna that had formed the tiny spark changing the protoform, and as soon as it had been infused into the protoform, the blue and silver and red light from it flashed out and wrapped around the nondescript body, the blues and reds spreading out over the chestplates, audial fins forming on the side of the helm, tiny nubs on the back growing, fleshing out. Those nubs grew into four wings, two large and two small. 

“He’s going to be a flight frame.” Starscream announced proudly. 

The frame was bulkier than his carrier’s, but not quite as bulky as his sire, the arms large and strong like Optimus, the waist slimming out and down into slim legs like to Starscream’s frame at the time of his sparking, jet thrusters settled into the heels of the pedes. Finally, the details of the face filled in, the sparkling strongly resembled his sire in facial features, except in the set of the optics, which when they unshuttered were a striking deep violet. The last of the detail filled out in the form of blue and red running stripes along the edges of the larger set of wings. 

“Orion.” the seeker’s tone was firm, the name just seemed to fit the young one that now stood in front of them. And he immediately set about preening the newly formed wings, a bonding ritual between carrier and sparkling that the other two members of the trine had to smile at. 

//I remember our sire said he’d be an awful parent, whether sire or carrier, because he was too high strung, Warp. He sure is proving him wrong.//

“Carrier, I can take care of them myself!” Orion whined. 

“Oh, hush, my little bird. Let me enjoy this for a few minutes.” Starscream scolded. “I won’t get to indulge in this with you again.”  When  the wings were preened to his satisfaction, he let his bonded get a good look at their son. 

“He’s so handsome.” Optimus could not help the wistful smile, the surge of hope in his spark lighting up his face. “The first of a new generation, a sign that our species and our world has hope of becoming the vibrant one it once was again.” 

“He and these eggs are hope for my own kind, as well.” Starscream’s own derma lifted at the corners. “For so very long, I was the last flight frame in existence. Now my brothers are returned to me, and these eggs once they hatch will provide the blueprint for rebuilding Vos, the way it should have been, once our world lives once more.”  

“Ya know, Prime, I never expected our brother to end up with you, I gotta say I approve, you’ve proven that you care about and can protect him. “ Skywarp’s expression grew serious. “But if you ever hurt him, don’t doubt that TC and I will never forgive you for it. Screamer’s been through enough without someone he’s placed his trust in adding to it.” 

“I swear to you on the Matrix, I will never hurt him purposefully. The trust he has placed in me is not something I will ever take for granted, I know how hard it is for him to grant it.” Prime gave him a serious look. “One can never tell what might happen on the field of battle, but intentionally? Never. To harm him would be to harm myself.” 

Cracking sounds came from behind them, the sounds of protoform eggs hatching.  The first to hatch let out soft clicking sounds and a hiss, painted in reds and golds, the shells falling around him as he shook his head to finish freeing himself. 

“Oh God! Are those babies?!?” the voice was Miko’s as she grinned. “He’s so adorable!” 

Two more were hatching behind him, the second to get free of the shell a femme painted in pinks and golds, her wings flaring to shake the shards off of them. Another mech with blues, silvers, and greens had also freed himself and wound his wings around the femme, hissing at the girl who had her face pressed to the glass. “You’re spunky.” she laughed. 

“Those cute babies could claw your eyes out, you know, kid.” TC couldn’t help the teasing twinkle in the crimson optics as he spoke those words, then turned to his brother. “Ok, I see why you can tolerate this squishy, I like her.” 

As the rest broke free of their shells, it was veritable rainbow of violets, golds, reds, blues, yellows, greens, pinks, and oranges, an almost even mix of mechs and femme among the tiny hatchlings, one letting out a belch that release a tiny gout of flame, making Miko jump back “Whoa! Seeker babies aren’t supposed to do that, are they?” 

“No, they aren’t. But no matter what might have gotten mixed into their CNA by Shockwave, there is no denying those sparklings are mine and Warp’s. We’ll make sure they get brought up right.”

Chapter Text

Within 36 hours, the hatchlings had been removed from the warmer and were walking and talking. Skywarp was the only one still in the med bay, as TC and Starscream had gone to speak to Mrs. Darby about bonding ceremonies for the newly bonded pair. Starscream refused to use the term conjux until they had gone through the courtship ceremonies, and he wanted to have that done before they went to confront Megatron. 

He did not see the symbiote perched up in one of the rafters, watching the proceedings with a keen eye. 

______________________________________________________________________

Soundwave, before making the decision to leave the Nemesis and approach the Autobots in hope of defecting, was checking on the seekers he had helped to rescue. For all of his loyalty to Megatron and gratitude because the gladiator had saved his life back in Kaon, his leader had crossed a line with ordering experimentation on his own subordinates, a line that he was not sure he would ever be all right with.

What he was seeing through Lazerbeak, had he not sworn a vow of silence, would have had him laughing aloud. 

“Firestorm, get down from the windowframe!” Skywarp was, to say the least, frustrated. Who thought leaving me to babysit the hatchlings was a good idea again? The annoyed thought was brief as he had to get between Frostwing and Stormsurge, considering Frostwing had his dentae buried into Stormsurge’s aft. “Frostwing, please stop biting your sister!” 

Most of the hatchlings were behaving, sitting on the floor either sipping on tiny energon cubes, or playing with the toys that Ratchet had kindly set out for them, it was just the few rowdier ones that were giving the sole adult in the room so much trouble. 

“But sire, Stormsurge bit me first!” Frostwing complained in a high pitched, almost chirping, voice. 

“I don’t care who bit who first, biting is mean, and you shouldn’t do it.” Warp did his best to assure that his tone was calm, despite how frazzled he was. “Now, apologize to each other, ok?” 

“I’m sorry.” they both said at the same time.

___________________________________________________________________

“You know, I do know some of the officents you’d need, as long as all of this is just ceremonial and not needing any legal documents, considering that the immigration status for both of you is. . .questionable, a marriage license is likely out of the question, so it’d have to be.” June’s countenance was one of deep thought. “I also could make whatever garments you might want easily enough if I had your measurements, Miko and I are both pretty good at sewing.” 

“You are a lifesaver, Mrs. Darby.” Optimus gives her a bit of a smile. “I know the children will want to be here, so they are more than welcomed.” 

“More than that, Miko is going to be part of my party of attendants.” Starscream was firm on that. “I value my helm remaining on my neck.” a soft laugh followed those words. “Two will be my brothers, and the fourth will be Arcee. Primarily because otherwise my fourth would be Ratchet and I’d not dream of taking the honor of you having him among your own attendants considering how long the two of you have been friends.” 

“Pastor Robbins said he could come two days from now, if that’s good for both of you. He said, and I quote ‘A wedding for two cybertronians, this is a first for me, and I’m honored to be a part of it.’” June smirked at that. 

“As long as we don’t get attacked, it should be fine.” Optimus confirmed. “Please let him know the date is perfectly acceptable.”

A communication came in from Smokescreen and Optimus excused himself to go take it. 

-Prime, I got a message, heavily encrypted, from Soundwave of all mechs. He wants to speak with you privately, and I thought it’d be wise to do it before Wheeljack returns, for well. . .obvious reasons.- 

-Ask him where he wishes to meet, Smokescreen. I will already have enough on my hands explaining Starscream’s presence when Wheeljack returns, I would rather not have to explain two defected Decepticons being in the base to him at the same time. That is not to even mention the presence of Starscream’s trine, but Wheeljack has no beef with those two. We both know Starscream is one of us now, but whether Wheeljack will see it that way remains to be seen.-

-I have to admit I was confused at first too, sir, but I trust your judgment, even if I did question the sanity of the decision at first. Wheeljack probably will too, given time. But still, I don’t envy the questioning stare you’re likely to get from him for your choice of conjux.-

-He’s going to have to learn to live with it, Smokescreen. I love Starscream, despite how insane that proclamation may sound, and I will not have my private life questioned regardless of what grudges he may hold against my future conjux.- 

-Understood sir. Oh, and he said he wished to meet on the cliff outside of Jasper. On the other side of where Cliffjumper’s grave sits.- 

-Tell him I will be there within the hour.-

Chapter Text

As the sun began to set over Jasper, Nevada Prime watched while the form of the stealth bomber approached, and then transformed, alighting onto the cliff face with such grace that his pedes made only the tiniest clacking sound. 

“So, Soundwave, I understand it was you who was responsible for making the rescue of my bonded’s brothers possible. I owe you a debt of gratitude for that, I suppose I should tell you that off the bat. Now, I will hear you out.” 

A recording came up on Soundwave’s visor, one of Starscream on his knees, tied up in Airachnid’s webs. “I want to be. . .on your side.” it was Starscream’s voice coming from the recording, and as it ended, Soundwave lifted his head, his entire countenance saying that he meant what he had attempted to convey with that recording. After, were recordings of Megatron smacking the body of Starscream, on the verge of stasis lock, to the floor, tearing the wings off Thundercracker as the older seeker had attempted to defend his brother, then another recording with Megatron booming out an order for Shockwave to take the two to his lab, before he leaned down to Soundwave and murmured “Starscream is never to know they still function. Make sure no one tells him.” 

Prime could feel the horror tinging Soundwave’s EM field as the last recording played, this one of when Soundwave had discovered the horrific results of Shockwave’s experimentation. Soundwave had obviously known what kind of mech the scientist was, but he had never imagined that scientific curiosity would be turned upon two of the command trine.

“You do understand that you will be bridged in, I cannot afford to reveal the location of our base in full until you have proven you can be trusted.” Optimus warned. 

Soundwave merely silently inclined his helm in a nod. He knew Megatron’s rage would be horrible, all of his command officers but Shockwave himself had defected, but at this point, there was nothing left to lose for him. It was not that he truly cared about the seekers, in fact he found them unbearably touchy, but it was the principle of the thing. Whoever that man was that was leading them now, it was not the Megatron that had saved him from the pits all those vorns ago. And so as the groundbridge opened, Soundwave bid goodbye to his former life.

___________________________________________________________________________

It was nearly midnight by the time the administrative paperwork had been completed and Prime got back to he and his bonded’s shared quarters, and what he saw when he entered nearly drew a sob from him as some spark tugging mix of emotions swelled within. 

Moonlight shone down onto the berth, down onto the slim, sinuous form on the bed that instead of being curled up in a fetal position on his side was spread out on his belly, one leg cocked out to the side to expose modesty panels that the moonlight had turned from a burnished steel to gleaming silver. Starscream had a single taloned digit resting upon his derma, his expression utterly peaceful as he laid there deep in recharge. He was. . .

“Beautiful.” the word was whispered, and all Optimus could think to himself was how Primus be damned lucky he was to be the mate this mech had chosen for his own. 

A faint groan, a single scarlet optic unshuttering and a crabby voice uttered the words “Optimus. . .come to bed, please?”:

He smiled, striding over to the bed. “Tomorrow we should have a bead on another Omega Key. The sooner we find them, the sooner we will have our home back.”  

Starscream draped an arm over his bonded as Prime climbed into the berth, positioning himself so his spark could lay his helm on the broad shoulder without the seeker slapping him in the face with his wings.

__________________________________________________________________________

The mission to get the omega key went off without a hitch, and while Optimus was gone Starscream was overseeing that stitching of he and Prime’s wedding garments. “I’m looking for something from a country here that looks at least vaguely Vosian.” 

As they flipped through, he saw the photo of the Javanese couple dressed in rich reds and golds and pointed to it. “There! That and my purple cape I was given upon my ascension to Wing Lord before the destruction of Vos, that would be perfect.” 

“I can do this, pretty sure I have both the red and gold thread at home, needed it for stitching a costume for Jack.” June nodded. “Fabric store is going to look at me funny for how many bolts of their flame red fabric I’m going to buy.” but she quirked a smile at that. “You know, when I heard you were living here, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The kids told me you were arrogant, treacherous, and a bit of an asshole. But talking to you now, yeah, maybe a bit of the arrogance, but I don’t see the asshole anymore. You’re someone I’m proud to say my son knows now.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

It had taken Megatron a full day to realize Soundwave too was not coming back, and this one hit him harder than any of the other prior defections. How could you?!? Was the only thought in his mind. He refused to speak to any of the Vehicons on the bridge, only staring at the empty communications station where Soundwave had once sat. He could not even imagine the why , 

Steve knew why, the one Vehicon in the group who had begun to develop as an individual and had gained a keen understanding of his own faction had watched his leader go further and further off the rails over the past earth year. He had also worked with Soundwave enough to know where the silent ‘Con’s breaking point was. Experimentation on their own command staff was that tipping point, and the discovery of the other two members of Starscream’s trine in Shockwave’s lab being used as experiment fodder had been just that. But he was far from stupid enough to tell Megatron that.

Chapter Text

When morning came, the preparation for the Conjux Ritus was in full force. For the benefit of their human companions, the ceremony would be a mix of human and Cybertronian rites. Starscream had already put on the ceremonial garments that his adoptive Carrier had made for him, and was currently being painted by Arcee in the traditional Vosian manner with gold filigree along his arms, legs,neck, and wings. The shirt was cut shorter to show off the filigree painted around his waist, as he had asked.

“Wow, Scream, you look so good!” Miko was struggling to get the back of her dress zipped, and Arcee shook her head, finishing up the traditional decking out, before bending down to help Miko zip her dress.  

The smile on his face actually reached his optics. Starscream was actually quite glad for the day of celebration, as he had a feeling with Megatron having lost most of his command staff he was going to become more aggressive than he had been. 

Ratchet popped his head into the room.”It’s time.” 

Arcee shoved the massive Transformer-sized bouquet into his hand and she and Miko took a servo on each side. 

The seeker’s spark felt as if it was rising up through his body to float out of his intake as his optics fell on Optimus at the end of the makeshift aisle, joy filling him, almost to the point where he felt as if he’d burst. 

“We are gathered here today to join these two sparks in a union most holy.” Pastor Roberts’s deep voice rang throughout the room, and he raked his fingers through his dark hair to push a few strands which had escaped the gel to fall into his hazel eyes out of them.”Which of this seeker’s family is here to approve of this bond?” 

June took one of Starscream’s servos and spoke up proudly. “I am, and I approve of this bond.” 

“These two who are to be bonded have chosen to speak their own vows straight from their sparks.” The pastor smiled and turned to Optimus first, nodding that he should speak. 

“The first time we met, you had just been taken on by Elita as an apprentice. You were young, spirited, and brilliant, Primus so brilliant. I think I fell in love with you that day, but I never spoke up. It was my one true regret from those years, that I never told you how I felt about you. Then, we were torn apart by countless vorns of war, both of us on different sides of that battlefield, and now I see it was a blessing that I did not. For we had lessons that Primus meant to teach us before we were ready. The one I see before me now is still brilliant, but you have become stronger, and have matured, and I feel so very proud, and lucky , to have you here now. So I vow to you, before Pimus, that I will always protect you, that I will stand not ahead of you, or behind you, but beside you, for the remainder of the time that I function.” 

The seeker’s smile never wavered, and when it was his turn to speak, he raised his helm, standing nearly ramrod straight. “Optimus, I owe you and yours my life. But to you, I owe you far more. I owe you my sanity, my decency, my ability to love again that I thought had long ago been destroyed under Megatron’s murderous servos. But all I can give you in return is my spark, as damaged as it is, and a vow that I will never return to the bot that I was when I was his second. That I will do all in my power to support you, to lift you up and give to you the love and loyalty that you deserve.You were patient and loving to me during the times when I did all that I could to push you away, and I can never express the gratitude I feel for that.” 

Arcee reverently walked up to the pair, a thin energon chain in her hand that she gave to June, who wrapped the chain around her adopted “son’s” wrist, as Ratchet took the other end of the chain, wrapping it around Optimus’. 

“Here before Primus, may your bond wax strong. I now pronounce you Conjux Endura, your bond to last until you both return to the All Spark.” 

Starscream felt suddenly shy as the entire group, Autobots and humans both, came up to congratulate the newly conjuxed pair, and he knelt down to Pastor Roberts’ height,, “Thank you. I know some of the ceremonial stuff isn’t well. . .in your faith and all, but it means a lot to Optimus and I that you would do this for us.” 

“Like I told Mrs. Darby, this is a first for me. I wouldn’t have missed it for all the gold in the world.” 

The reception was joyful, both alcohol [which June allowed the three teenagers a single glass each] and Ratchet’s special recipe high grade flowing in abundance. This was a celebration of their Prime conjuxing, 

Around an hour into the reception, the two crept out, and Orion quietly giggled. “I know where sire and carrier are going.” he said, a grin on his face as Firestorm piped up “Where? Where are they going?” 

“Tell you when you’re a little older.” TC told the small red and orange seeker who was now about the size of a small Cybertronian child. 

Chapter Text

When morning came, blaster fire sounded from outside of the base, waking the newly conjuxed couple from a dead sleep. 

“I knew it was coming, but for Primus’ sake, could they have not have at least allowed us to enjoy a few days of bliss after the ceremony?” The seeker crawled out of bed and walked out next to Prime, as the blaster fire stopped as quickly as it had started. 

“They stole the omega keys.” Arcee’s voice held a despairing tone. “Of course, with most of his command crew gone Megatron would strike while we were sleeping.” but the despair was tempered by other emotions. “Ultra Magnus also arrived last night, with Wheeljack in tow. They want to see you, Optimus, they have some questions. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them about-” and she inclined her heard toward Starscream “him, I left that for you, figured you’d prefer it that way.”

“I suppose better now, rip the mesh patching off the wound.” Optimus took Starscream’s servo, his words clear. “I refuse to hide you away like some shameful secret. They accept my decision, or they can find somewhere else to stay.” 

Wheeljack showed very little surprise on his face when he saw the two walk out servo in servo, and his expression cracked into a teasing grin. “I wondered when it was gonna happen.” He had not told Ultra Magnus this, but he and Starscream had communicated a few times, usually on the battlefield, during  the long vorns of the civil war. 

“Yes, well. . .” Starscream shook his head. “No hard feelings for the. . .torture thing, yeah?” 

Wheeljack waved him off. “It’s war. If I hold actions taken during a war against you, how are we ever gonna live with each other when it’s over? Holding grudges never did anyone any good.” A slight smirk graced his face. “Besides, it’s pretty obvious you’re one of us now.” a digit gestured toward the new sigil on the seeker’s chestplates. “And as many questions as I have about how it happened, they’re probably the same ones Ultra Magnus has so I’ll let him ask ‘em.”

“First off, why didn’t you tell me you had most of the Decepticon command here?” Ultra Magnus asked the question in a serious manner. “Also, when did you become an Autobot?” He stomped over to the pair, causing Starscream to nearly automatically shrink behind his Conjux. He was doing all in his power to tamp down the panic that attempted to surge through his spark as the heavy pedesteps almost sent him spiraling into a flashback. To shore up his defenses and keep it back, he curled his derma into his typical sneer. 

“About the same time that I sparkbonded with your Prime.” Starscream shot back. Though the words were bristling with sarcasm, fear sparked through his field, and he drew it as close to his frame as he was able. He was not going to leave a weakness for Ultra Magnus, whom his systems screamed at him was a threat, to exploit. 

The servo holding his giving it a squeeze calmed him, and he gave Optimus a grateful smile.The grounding that physical contact gave the seeker pushed back against the rising tide of panic, and he couldn’t help but smirk when the obvious protectiveness in his conjux’s field caused the large red white and blue mech to back off. 

“Ok, so he wasn’t lying, point taken, Prime.” Ultra Magnus lifted his servos in a gesture of surrender.  

“Carrier?” Orion had come in, rubbing his optics.Starscream swept over, hugging his son, causing Ultra Magnus’ optics to widen. 

“Come, let’s get you refueled, Orion. I’ll introduce you to the newcomers afterward.” The seeker led him over to the energon dispenser, leaving the three alone to talk. 

“That. . .was not something I expected to see.” Ultra Magnus told Optimus. “I mean, I can tell he’s obviously yours , the color scheme makes that fairly obvious, but the wings indicate he’s also Starscream’s. This was. .. an unexpected development.”  

“You don’t know him as I have come to, Ultra Magnus. Underneath all the scheming and cruelty is a damaged spark crying out for kindness.” Optimus shook his helm at that. “I’ve seen inside that spark, and understand intimately how much the kindness he has been shown here means to him.” He watched as his conjux let out a bright laugh at something their sparkling had said, a smile curling his mouth. “He’s taken to parenthood like a duck to water, and I must say it suits him.” 

The seeker returned and laid his head on Prime’s shoulder. “We need to find out what he’s up to, but I suspect I know. I simply hope he holds out long enough for my little armada to grow enough to help us. At the rate their growth has been, it won’t be long. A few more days at most, and they will be able to scan for alt modes and be ready to join us.” 

___________________________________________________________________________

Starscream had gone off by himself to deal with the aftermath of the near panic attack Ultra Magnus had caused him, but not to the washracks. He was too fragile and shaky for the moment to even think

 of risking that at the moment, considering the last time he’d been injured he’d been in the washracks. Instead he went back to he and Optimus’ shared quarters to relax with a datapad and calm down. 

“Scream?” It was Wheeljack framed there in the door, and his hand went to the back of his head. “Sorry about the big guy, honestly, if Magnus had a processor in that helm of his he’d be dangerous.” 

The seeker couldn’t help the soft laugh that came from him. “Jackie, that bot is dangerous even without a working processor, I fear what he’d be like if he did have one.”

Chapter Text

Morning came with a groan, Starscream throwing his servo over his optics. The sun seemed to almost sear through them all the back to the optical nerve cabling that translated the signals and carried them back to his processor. Optimus it appeared was already awake, talking to the group that were going to ground bridge up to the space bridge and take it up to Cybertron, hoping to beat Megatron to the punch before the Omega Lock was opened. The seeker had told Optimus what he suspected Megatron was planning, because it had been one that had been in the works ever since the whispers of relics had only been rumors. 

“He intends to send his terrorconned Predacons through the Omega Lock and straight into Cybertron’s core.” Starscream told the group as he strode out. “Because if he cannot own Cybertron, neither can we, and he’d rather murder both Primus and our homeworld altogether than to allow us to have it.” His derma curved down into a snarl. “Though I don’t know how much of that is Megatron talking and how much is Unicron, or if the two are near one and the same by this point.” 

He strode to Optimus’ side, removing two energon cubes from the storage locker and a handful of the fusion grenades he’d been given by Wheeljack and shoved them into his subspace. “I’m going. No one argue the point. Including you, Optimus. If this is to be our final battle, it is also my final chance to look Megatron in the eye and tell him I refuse to fear him anymore. I need that to move on from him.” 

Through the door behind the group came forty eight armed to the teeth seeker fledglings. Starscream laughed when the group as a whole scanned him as he transformed. 

“Uncle!” Firestorm called “Nice jets!” 

He groaned. “Sweet Primus. Skywarp, were you the one that let the sparklings around Knock Out?” 

Skywarp only shrugged with a sheepish grin. “What can I say? Firestorm’s got aspirations in 

medicine, and Ratchet won’t put up with him.” 

“Firestorm, Stormsurge, Frostwing, transform!” Starscream’s instincts did not fail him as he knew who the leading trine of the group would be, and he watched as the command was given down the line to all of the youthful seekers.  

______________________________________________________________________

“Megatron, your terrorcons are ready.” Shockwave strode up next to his leader, the rustling of wings in a room behind them as the dark energon-infected predacons fidgeted waiting for orders from their commander.

A smirk crossed Megatron’s face as the two prepared the space bridge. If I can’t have it, neither shall you.  

____________________________________________________________________________

Both groups arrived at the same time,  Starscream flying through the space bridge with his brothers, all of the adolescent seekers behind them, and his son as well, who had turned out to be a rare triple changer, his flight mode a brightly painted B2 bomber. “This isn’t going to happen, Megatron.” Starscream’s voice rang out clear and true. “You might as well give it up .” 

“ Never !” the former gladiator roared. “If I can’t have it, neither will any of you!” 

“You know, once I might have been afraid when you roared that way.” the seeker’s tone was thoughtful. “But now? You don’t scare me anymore. You’re pathetic , pitiful . You lost your way, and now I can’t even scrape up enough emotion to feel sorry for your sad aft.” 

“You dare?!?”

"Do you know where you messed up, Lord Megatron ?” The sneering, snarky tone held every single inch of contempt Starscream had ever felt for the mech. "You forgot that your men weren't playthings to bend to your whim. You forgot what you were fighting for and became the thing you hated. That was your biggest mistake."

Megatron roared out the order for his terrorcons to storm the core, but a single arm movement was all it took for Thundercracker, Skwarp, and their children to dive down after them, blaster bolts firing after them as they spun and rolled to avoid the sides of the crater as they flew. 

A clashing sounded from behind him, and he saw Optimus fly from the side of the just activated Omega Lock, falling toward earth, causing him to panic as he broke formation, soaring toward his Conjux as fast as his engines would allow him to. As he found Prime and dove beneath him to catch him, they ended up chest to chest before Starscream transformed to shift Optimus on top of his cockpit, and as he did a sudden deep voice rang out in his mind, forcing him to his knees when he landed. 

My beautiful son, you have finally returned to me. No matter what the words of the avatar of he who means destruction toward all of my precious children may have convinced you of, you *are* worthy. I now cleanse you of the impurities you took upon yourself in order to survive. Go now my child, assist in taking back your world!

The seeker was suddenly surrounded by a brilliant golden light, the color of Primus’ own energon of Creation, that with which the god had built the planet Cybertron itself. As it faded, Starsscream felt the dark energon fade from his frame, the vanishing of the taint that had lain within his spark feeling like a weight being lifted from him. 

“Fine, then, I will destroy the planet you seem to love so much then if I cannot do so to Cybertron!” Megatron’s voice echoed as if in duplicate, and Starscream now knew it was not his former leader speaking, but the Devourer of Worlds himself. “Shockwave, prepare the space bridge! I shall aim the Omega Lock at earth itself!” 

The seeker shared a look with Prime, and they both knew. . .if they were to save Earth. .. their own world must be sacrificed. 

Chapter Text

Both of them looked below into the pool of bubbling cybermatter, Starscream’s optics held a pained expression, but he nodded to Prime, the two of them communicating without words. Prime’s blade raising up and stabbing into the Omega Lock, the machine sparking as the portal within disappeared, static filling Starscream’s audials to the point where he almost did not hear Megatron’s bellow of rage, coming back to himself when he saw Bumblebee’s body falling. . .falling. . .down into the cybermatter below. 

“You. . .you bastard !” The seeker almost did not recognize his own voice as he dove at Megatron, only for Optimus to grab him around the wrist, shaking his head sadly. “Sometimes death is not for a noble reason. Sometimes it just is. But there has been enough death this day for you to add yours to it.” 

Megatron charged the two, Prime shoving his conjux out of the way as the fusion canon charged, massive fist coming up to nail the old gladiator in the face, the two of them duking it out there in the Nemesis’ cargo hold. 

“I can fix the damage you did to the Omega Lock once you’re done beating my old leader into unconsciousness, Optimus, don’t worry about me!” Starscream called back as he got together with Ratchet to get the tools he’d need. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Miko was watching on the screen Soundwave had provided for those left behind to watch the events unfold, pacing restlessly. “You two better come back from this unhurt.” She was watching both Starscream and Bulkhead, her two best bot friends, one working on repairing the Omega Lock, the other working on securing a path to the bridge. “I swear if either of you get yourselves killed I’ll never forgive you.” 

Soundwave set a servo on the human’s shoulder, remembering to himself that Rumble and Frenzy, when  the twin symbiotes had still lived, had not been much larger than her. The gentle squeeze was one he hoped was of reassurance. He did not much care about the feelings of the Autobots’ human pets, but he knew this one was Starscream’s friend, and he owed the seeker much for opening his eyes to the madman his old friend had become. So he did his best to comfort her.

______________________________________________________________________

Bulkhead had cleared the hallway, and he had his blaster out as the door to the bridge opened, expected a fight. But a fight is not what he got, instead, the Vehicon in the front of the troop on the bridge nodded to his brethren, and the group all at the same time laid down their weapons. 

“Designation is St3v3, sir. But my men just call me Steve. I have one question for you, then the bridge is all yours. Did Commander Starscream survive?” 

“Not only did he survive, Steve, but he’s thriving.” Bulkhead grinned as he strode over to the Nemesis control panel. “He conjuxed a Prime, and he’s safe now. He’s probably still down in the cargo hold repairing the Omega Lock if you want to see for yourself.” 

“I believe I will sir.” Steve turned after he reached the door. “You know, it’s funny. For as much of an arrogant afthole as the commander could be at times, he, Breakdown, and Knock Out were the only three among the command staff that treated us as if we were actually people and not just disposable cannon fodder. All of us respect him for that.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Another loud clang, one of Optimus hitting the deck, and Starscream turned from where he was working on the Lock, frame locking in shock as he heard Megatron’s words while the fusion cannon charged. 

“Prepare to join your scout in the all spark.” Megatron’s voice was little more than a low growl as he spoke the words. 

Then, something none of them expected. [including the warlord himself]. The young scout, revived by the cybermatter pool, bearing the Star Saber that has fallen next to it during the fisticuffs, had crawled up the side of the ship and stabbed it straight through Megatron’s spark chamber. “You took my voice. You will never rob anyone of anything ever again.” 

Starscream strode over to Megatron as he gave Bee a hand back up. “You stole my sanity, my courage, my dignity, my decency, and my ability to love. The one whose spark you always wanted gave it back to me.” he set one heeled pede on the mech’s chest, just below the sword stuck through it. “You will never steal anything from me ever again.” A single push dislodged the warlord from the sword, sending him tumbling to the Earth below.  

As Unicron’s Harbinger disappeared from sight, Starscream felt neither joy nor grief. Just a sense of empty relief as he collapsed to his knees, servos on his arms, arms wrapping around himself as his shoulders began to shake, vocalizer hitching with sobs as all of the emotions of the past million or so years caught up to him all at once.

“Commander?” Steve quietly spoke, kneeling next to the seeker. “Are you all right, sir?” One clawed hand rested upon Starscream’s shoulder as he said nothing more. The fact that the flier did not immediately snark back at him told him immediately what the mental state of the one he respected above all others [and he must admit he had harbored a crush on at one point] was in that moment. 

The sobs continued for several more moments, Starscream turning into the offered embrace, his tears wetting the Vehicon’s chestplate. Steve rubbed his back comfortingly until they stopped, and red optics met an orange visor. “It is good to see you still live, Steve. And that you still cared enough to come to check on me. Thank you.” 

“You remembered my name, Commander, I’m honored.” 

“How could I forget the one who has saved me from that monster’s rage on more than one occasion?” The seeker stood, his back straight. “So, would you like to stay and witness the revival of the home that is much yours as it is mine? The one you never got to see?” 

“I would love that, sir.” 

“I am no longer in command here, I am simply the conjux to the best mech ever to grace the face of this universe. Just call me Starscream.” and he turned to finish repairing the Omega Lock.

_________________________________________________________________________

It was not longer after that they were hovering over the Well of the Allspark, and Ratchet had come down to join them, as well as the children that had ground bridged up to the ship before they had left for Cybertron. 

“Cybertron is larger than Earth, but if we shoot the cybermatter straight down the well, it should just be enough.” Ratchet smiled, then turned to Starscream “Good job fixing the Omega Lock, by the way.” 

The seeker didn’t answer, only watched as the cybermatter was fired down into the well, mouth open wide in wonder as light spread from it, winding through the gaps as the entire planet came to life beneath them. “Cybertron. . .our home. . .our home lives again! .”

Chapter Text

The return to Earth was both happy for Starscream and sad. Happy because his home lived once again. He could rebuild Vos , give his Seekers a chance to build a life for themselves and make new memories on the ashes of their old culture. Sad because he’d be leaving behind his human friends. 

Human friends. He laughed a bit internally. I never thought I’d say I had any, but here we are. June and the children, I truly care for them.

Optimus gathered everyone around as he wrapped his arm around his conjux and spoke to them all. “Though our homeworld is capable of supporting life now, there is still much to be done. We will miss our home away from home.” Blue optics sweep over the children. “You have been with us all, supported us through many changes.” a smile down at the seeker leaning his head against his chest, one just tall enough to tuck beneath his arm. “Many of them good ones. You and we have made new friends, forged alliances-” that gaze falls upon Arcee. “In the most unexpected, at times, places. And all of us, together, including you, my human allies, have ended a millions of years long war.” 

Another softened glance, this one at Miko. “To you, Miko, I owe a special thanks. For if you had not urged Bulkhead to stop, and had not given Starscream a chance you may well have judged he did not deserve, the war would like as not have continued for much longer. And I would never have had the opportunity for a bond greater than the sum of its parts.”  Prime knelt to get on her level, chipping off a small piece of his armor. “This is for you.” 

As Optimus finished his speech, the children went to say their goodbyes to their partners. 

“Bee. . .” Raf’s eyes were damp but he held back his tears. “I’m going to miss you.” 

“Raf.” Bee set his servo on top of the young boy’s head. “I have to go, but I promise you, I’ll-”

“I know, Bee, you don’t have to say anything. I. . .I understand.” 

“You always did, Raf.” The scout gave him a gentle hair ruffle as he strode over to stand next to Prime. 

Miko threw her arms around Bulkhead’s and Starscream’s legs. “I don't want you to go.” her broken voice rose up between the two mechs. “I never thought it’d happen, that I’d end up with two wonderful partners, and now you have to go.” 

Starscream’s whole frame went still. “Partners?” The word filled him with a warmth he’d never expected. 

“Of course, you silly bot.” Miko looked up, and though her eyes were still teary she smiled. 

“You’re my best friend, what else would I call you, dork?” 

Bulkhead nodded and smiled, prompting Starscream too to take a knee to look her in the eye. 

“I promise you, Miko, I’ll come back as often as I can. I want to loan you the Apex Armor, because once my wonderful city is rebuilt, I need to show it to you, but until then-” and he reaches into his subspace, pulling out a chain that for him would just barely fit around his crest, but for Miko it would be a mid-length necklace “Wear this. I made it for you a while ago, but was going to wait and give it to you for your sparking day-” 

“Birthday, Star.” Miko corrected with a soft giggle. 

“Birthday, but with us leaving, for now, now is as good a time as ever. The two gemstones are tiny pieces of the crown jewels of Vos, and the metal piece? I had Wheeljack weld together a small piece of Skyfire’s plating, and a piece of my crest. The piece of Skyfire because he was an important part of how I became who I am. The piece of me because. . .” and he smiled, lifting her up for a moment in his servo. “So that when you wear  it, a part of me will be right here-” he tapped Miko’s chest gently. “Right near your spark.” 

Miko slipped it over her neck. “I love it.

  Bulkhead reached a digit down to Miko. “I’m going to come back to see you, I promise. And I’ll make sure Mr. Prissy Pants here does too. But for now, we got work to do, kiddo.” 

“Prime. . .someone has to make sure the place is safe in case Shockwave shows up again,” Ratchet spoke up softly. 

“You’re staying then, old friend?” 

“As much as I hate to admit it, they need us, Optimus. And. . .” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I sorta need them too.” 

“But Ratchet-” Starscream’s tone filled with sudden panic, but under it was hidden genuine hatred of the sudden parting. 

Ratchet smiled back at him, holding a wrench up threateningly. “I know for some reason I will never understand, you trust me more than your other best friend, but if you ever truly need me, I’m just a space bridge away.” 

The sudden hug took the medic by surprise, but he patted Starscream’s back reassuringly before murmuring into his audial. “I’ll miss you too, you flighty little devil. Take care of Optimus for me?” 

“He is spark of my spark. How could I do any less? And I will hold you to that, you grumpy old mech.” and Starscream stepped back, the little single finger salute he’d learned from Miko given to the medic as the group walks toward the space bridge, ready to go home .

Chapter Text

Consciousness came back slowly for the warlord, his mind turning over the last thing his former second in command had said to him. Unicron had not chosen to make his presence known just yet, waiting until Megatron was fully back to his senses to speak so he would understand. 

//Megatron.//

The deep, reverberating voice drew the attention of the former gladiator, pulling him from his thoughts. “How am I alive?” 

//You are not. Partaking of My blood will not allow you to join the All Spark. Instead, you are bound to me. I require a vessel, and your form shall serve as that just fine.//

From deep within the ocean, a corpse stirred , roaring as life flowed back into it. Unicron immediately transformed, leaving Earth’s atmosphere in a blaze of purple flames. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Starscream’s frame suddenly tensed beside Prime as something within him twinged, a strange sense he had never had before than told him that the one who had once brutalized him was no longer as dead as he had hoped. His conjux, who had been speaking to his men, drew him close as Optimus felt the tension filling him. //What is it, my spark?//

//I don’t know how , but I sensed Megatron come back online just now. I know you intend to go and bring the All Spark back here, please, be careful when you do.//

//I intend to take you with me. Considering the area of space it was placed in, I may well need your help to get to it.//

//Well. . .the future of our species? I suppose you can count me in, if you can bear my brothers threatening you should I be harmed.// A faint smirk crossed the seeker’s face at that.

“Skywarp, Thundercracker. We’re going to retrieve the allspark! Keep an eye on Orion for us, ok?” 

“Carrier, I don’t need a babysitter.” his voice was sullen. 

“No, but those two bolts for brains do.” Starscream told his son conspiratorially. “Make sure they and their offspring don’t wreck the place while we’re gone, yes?”

Orion smirked, nodding. That smirk looked scarily like his own and out of place on a face which looked very much like his sire’s. Starscream pulled his two brothers and his son into his arms. “I will return soon, I promise.” 

“You and Sire better stay safe, Carrier. If anything happens to you, I will never forgive either of you.” 

A kiss pressed to the top of Orion’s helm, and Starscream turned to go. 

Wheeljack smiled and set a hand on Starscream’s shoulder. “I never got to tell you how proud I am of how far you’ve come, Screamer-” 

“You know I hate that nickname.” but the seeker laughed a bit. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Wheeljack smirked. “But I was tellin’ ya, you’re capable of so much more than you ever thought you were, and that you’re here, beside Optimus, helping to restore our world , is ample demonstration that I was right when I told you that a long time ago.”   . 

The three walked into the Jackhammer, and he watched out of the window as Cybertron sank out of sight below them. The allspark. . .the hope of our people. I will get it back, I will . 

“Ion storm coming in.” Wheeljack warned. 

“Stay here, both of you. I’m going after the Allspark as soon as Optimus gives me the coordinates.” Starscream held up one clawed servo as his conjux opened his mouth as if to complain. “No, don’t argue with me, my Spark. I am faster and more agile than you, even in the emptiness of space.”

Optimus sighed and gave him the location, and pulled him in for a swift hug. “Be careful out there love.” 

Starscream nodded, transforming and flying out of the ship. Even without the coordinates, he felt almost as if he was being drawn toward the Allspark.  His cockpit opened, and he slid underneath the reliquary, catching it within and closing it. 

“Starscream, storm’s coming in fast , get your skinny aft back here!” Wheeljack yelled over the comm. “You don’t wanna get caught in that!”   

He hit his afterburners and flew as fast as he could into the open door of the ship, yelping as the front end of the storm fried some of the metal on his tailfins. “Let’s get out of here before it does to the Jackhammer what it just did to my tail!”

Chapter Text

“Well, looks like the data, even if it was a bit outdated, from Knock Out was accurate.” Bumblebee mused. “Look at this, every single lab location that fragger set aside is here. Just need to figure out which one is the one he’s in.” the scout’s digits flew across the holoscreen, typing in the commands to download the data onto a datapad. “As soon as it’s finished transferring we’re ready to-” 

He was cut off as the sound of jet engines rang through the corridor. 

“Uh. . .Bee. . .isn’t he supposed to be dead?” Bulkhead for a moment just stared as the spacejet transformed, revealing Megatron’s bulked up and reformatted form. 

“Don’t ask questions! Just run!” Arcee yelled, transforming as a deep voice rang out “Megatron is not available for comment at the moment! He is mine , I am Unicron !” 

“Scrap, scrap, scrap.” Bumblebee muttered as he transformed and squealed out behind Arcee, Bulkhead right behind him. “Getting this data out of here is top priority!” 

___________________________________________________________________________

//I will destroy you, Brother. I will, I will!// Unicron’s roar rang out as he chased the servants  of the Prime. //But first, I will begin by squashing these annoying bugs! //

Bulkhead blasted the floor. “Only way out is down!” he called back to the others, but then backed up as he realized just what was below that floor. “Cybertron’s been dormant for millennia, but one of those is still burning? Just our fragging luck.” 

“Groundbridge!” Bee yelled, panicked, as he shoved Arcee and Bulkhead down “Just trust me!” 

____________________________________________________________________________

The ground bridge opened below them, and as they fell, they fell through it, landing on the bridge of the ship. “Thanks, Soundwave.” Arcee stood and dusted herself off. “That was closer than I liked.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

“You will join your brethren, Servant of Prime!” 

“Ya got that right.” Bumblebee smirked before jumping into the pit himself, Unicron looking down and snarling in rage as the groundbridge portal below swallowed the yellow scout up and making him vanish before disappearing itself. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Predaking’s form landed within his sanctuary, his nose pressing to the energon staining the ground. “This belongs to my brethren.” he growled out. “There was a battle here.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

Shockwave was out gathering bones for more Predacon clones, in his mind it was logical to wish to have enough troops to defend himself, considering he was the only remaining Decepticon and would have enemies on all sides now. He was glad to have Skylynx and Darksteel to help him with the task, even if they had been busy fighting each other for the past fifteen minutes prior and had been dripping energon the entire way to the graveyard.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” the voice belonged to Unicron in Megatron’s body, 

“My lord?” Shockwave’s voice held a tinge of questioning, as if he did not believe what he was seeing. “Your presence here defies all logic.” 

The smirk on Not Megatron’s face was not in the least comforting. “This is my army.” Unicron snarled, and as the massive mech reached out a hand, dark energon writhing around it,  then into the hundreds of skeletons in that Predacon graveyard. The bones began to come back together into the shapes of eerie zombified beasts that sent more of those uneasy feelings through him. 

It was then another roar sounded in the sky above him, but it was not more Terrorcons. No, it was his own three creations that had come, whether out of a grudge against this monster for disturbing their burial ground, or to protect him, he did not know and did not particularly care. Especially when somewhere deep in his spark, as much as it galled him to do so, Shockwave had to admit that Starscream’s first instinct after Megatron had nearly killed him, to flee the pit spawned wreckage that the Decepticon cause had become, was logical . 

_________________________________________________________________________

“Optimus.” the voice belonged to Bumblebee. “That isn’t Megatron you’re going to be dealing with when you come back. It’s Unicron .” 

“Fuck.” Starscream uttered the human curse,learned from Miko, an explosive outventing of air following it. Somehow the Cybertronian version didn’t seem to cut it for a reaction to that statement. “I just knew it. I don’t know how, but I could sense when Megatron’s life signal came back online,  and that it felt. .. wrong.” 

Chapter Text

Ratchet back on the Nemesis was watching the screen, seeing the masses flocking around Megatron’s flickering life signal. “Optimus, if you can hear us, there is an undead army heading right for the Well of the Allspark!” 

____________________________________________________________________________

“We’re coming.” Starscream leaned over and spoke into the communications panel before realizing no one back on the Nemesis could hear them. 

“Meteor damaged our communications systems.” Wheeljack summarized the situation in that single sentence. “Transmitter’s down. But at least we know where we need to go. Buckle up, we’re almost there!” 

________________________________________________________________________

“Let nothing through!” Predaking’s voice was near a roar. He had fought for his position over his brothers, and won it. Now, these monsters were threatening both their creator, the one who had given them life , as well as their chance at any of their people ever being sparked again, and such a thing would not be stood for.

The flames shot out, burning the terrorcons at every side, butt it was too much, and soon enough the three were overwhelmed, being pushed into the Well by the sheer mass of them. 

_________________________________________________________________________

The sound of a T cog activating echoed over the field as two heeled pedes touched to the ground with a slight click, determination glowing in the crimson optics. 

“I sense the allspark. I will destroy that last relic of Primus!” 

Starscream gasped as his conjux took off with the reliquary in his arms, doing his best to get it away from Unicron as he heard that voice that had spoken to him before, the one he now knew was Primus, awakening from his long stasis. 

I told you you were worthy, my child. Another voice joined the masculine one, one he recognized as the very patroness of his people. “Solus. . .” he whispered softly. 

Take it. . .for in the future you will need to lead your people, in the way they would have been and should have been, had it not been for the Chaos Bringer’s interference. Solus’ voice was gentle as something rose out of the well, and shot toward him. 

“The Decepticon Matrix. .. it. .. it truly exists.” he whispered, shock rendering him near speechless. 

Ulchtarus Prime. . .rise   The speaking of his designation at the time of his Sparking by Primus with the addition of the -us to indicate the rising of a new Prime rang through his mind.

Optimus ran back over, reliquary still in his hand as Unicron too ran over, snatching it from the Prime. “I shall at last have victory over my foolish brother. . .as I snuff out his spark !” 

What did you do? The question rose up in Starscream’s spark as a sudden dread engulfed him. One he did not yet understand. Until Unicron opened the reliquary and was sucked out of Megatron’s body, causing the former gladiator to collapse onto his face like a string cut puppet. 

“Where. .. is the allspark?” The question from his conjux made Optimus turn around, a grave look on his face. “No. . .no, you didn’t.” 

Prime stood, turning to his people, then to his conjux. 

Starscream was so consumed with what he was almost sure his conjux had done he did not even notice Megatron’s approach. 

“Starscream. . .I’m-” 

“Save it, Megatron.” he spat. "You were about to say sorry, blah blah blah. But you fragged up, you were soooo confident. And you paid for it by becoming Unicron's puppet. Well, I hope to Primus you've finally learned your lesson because I want nothing more to do with you."  

He walked away, done with him, and laid his head on Prime’s chest. The comforting thrum of the Matrix was multiplied, and he could hear the singing of multiple sparks within. In any other circumstances it would have been uplifting, but not now. 

“In order to both protect the allspark and to secure Unicron’s defeat, it was necessary for me to empty the vessel’s contents.” Prime’s voice held a gravity that sent that terror shooting through the seeker’s spark once more. 

“Into where?” Ratchet asked him, concerned. 

“The Matrix of Leadership.” Optimus’ tone was still grave as he spoke, he knew very well how his conjux was going to take this, even as strong as he had become. “As such, my own spark can no longer be separated from the multitude of others within me.” 

“Are you telling us. .. ?” Bulkhead’s own words sounded as if he was already grieving. 

“He has become one with the Allspark.” Starscream’s voice cracked as he spoke those words, the finality of them feeling like his spark was breaking in half. 

Ratchet gasped. “Isn’t that what you say when you’ve. . .” 

Optimus pulled his Conjux close as Starscream turned into his chest, soft sobs shaking his shoulders, wings down and trembling. “To not return the Allspark to the well would be to prevent future generations of new life from existing on Cybertron. My quest must be completed.” 

“No, no, no, you promised you’d never leave me, you promised !” 

Optimus lifted Starscream’s chin. “You are strong, my spark. Stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. You will grieve, but you will survive. You have been given a gift from Primus which will be a beacon of hope for our people. You will have the opportunity to lead, as you have always wished to, but you now have the wisdom to lead in a way that will make me proud. And I will find a way to return to you. I will not break my promise to you.” he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of the seeker’s helm. 

“I didn’t. . .save a life to lose the one I most care for.” Ratchet’s voice was soft. 

“Sire?” Orion looked up at him sadly. “I don’t want you to go.” 

“I know. I want you to promise me you will take care of your carrier. He is going to be sparkbroken, he will lash out, and do his best to push everyone away. He will not mean it, so do not take it to spark. “ his gaze turned to Skywarp and Thundercracker. “I know I do not have to say it, that you will take care of your brother without me even having to ask. But I will anyway. Don’t let him waste away in his grief.” 

All three nodded as Prime passed his conjux to his brothers, Starscream trying to cling before finally letting go, turning into the embrace from his brothers. 

Starscream could not bear to watch as the sound of Optimus’ jet pack reached him, sailing up and down into the Well. 

As sparks flew out of the well, one brushed his cheek, before soaring away. “Do not lament my passing.” Optimus’ voice reached all of them as thousands upon thousands of sparks lifted up and out to every corner of their reborn world. “For in my spark I know that this is not the end, merely a new beginning. Simply put, another transformation.” 

Once the voice felt silent, Starscream dropped to his knees, the breaking of the bond drawing a loud wail from him as he gripped his arms around himself, a posture of abject grief next to the Well, before he transformed, taking off with no further words.

Chapter Text

“I’m worried about him.” Ratchet’s optics shuttered as he and Knock Out were working together to get the hospital in Iacon back up and running in full again. “Starscream, you know him better than I do, despite, you know, the whole being spark bonded with Optimus. But I know enough about him to know he tends to do stupid things when he’s emotionally compromised and alone.”

“Doctor. . .sometimes there’s nothing a medic can do. Sometimes, the patient has to heal himself.” Knock Out set the tools up on the correct shelf, but crimson optics seemed to stare out into space for several long moments. 

The orange and white medic lowered his helm, then shook it. “As much as I know you’re right, I don’t like it. Being without your support system while grieving is one of the dumbest things you can do. I will give him fourteen solar cycles, then I am sending Bumblebee out to find him.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

Skywarp and Thundercracker had beaten Ratchet to looking. Starscream had slammed his end of the trine bond closed, and the two were beyond just worried, they were terrified for their brother. 

“I know that him slamming the bond closed that way means he wants to be alone, TC,” Skywatp in his jet form couldn’t show his emotions through his body language, but his tone of voice spoke his thoughts clearly. “But I can’t help but remember after. .. “ 

“Skyfire, I know.” Thundercracker responded. “It took quartexes for him to not be actively suicidal, and almost a full vorn for him to be ready to open up again. It’s why I agreed to help you look for him. I just hope he doesn’t claw our helms off for doing it.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

On the Harbinger, items were being thrown everywhere, in the middle of the storm was the slender seeker, inventing heavily as his claws tore through many of the things that had been thrown until he had exhausted himself, falling into one of the chairs in the berthchamber he had settled into. 

Starscream pulled out a datapad, connecting it to the networks that Soundwave had helped him set up long ago to allow him to access this accursed mudball’s datanets. 

“Maybe I can find something to distract myself.” He realized he was talking to himself, but he honestly didn’t give a slag at the moment. His hand trembled as he pulled up the first app his clawed digit landed upon. “Reddit? It appears to be a human communication platform of some sort.” 

Curiosity had stemmed the tide, even if only temporarily, of the unrelenting grief, as he scrolled through the threads on the front page, until he landed upon one which brought lubricant welling to his optics because the words spoke just how he felt. It was about a woman who had lost her husband during one of the numerous wars the fleshies tended to start with one another, but the emotions she described cut right to the quick, and he thought to himself I wonder if typing out how I feel onto this forum would help? It’s not as if the humans would have any idea who or what I am. I’m not ready to have my brothers or any of the autobots around me right now, but humans? What does it matter if they think me weak? They don’t know me, they don’t matter.

Registering for an account was far simpler than it looked, and soon enough he was writing it out. 

/r/grief

Silver_seeker

“I lost the one I love more than life itself two earth days ago, and I don’t know how I am going to handle it. I have friends and family, but thanks to a past relationship I do not feel comfortable letting my guard down or letting myself seem weak in front of them. Every time I appeared weak, I was beaten to within an inch of my life, so it is very difficult for me to reach out to others when I am troubled. 

My spark hurts. All of me hurts, and feels numb in turns. I am not necessarily asking for advice,, I suppose I am simply as those from this place would call it venting , as I suppose that I feel as if even if I do somehow get judged here, it won’t truly matter. 

I guess. . .it is simply that it feels better to know that even though you are all strangers to me, I am not alone in how I feel. That it is normal to feel as if everything within you is broken when a thing like this happens. I hope that everyone here has had a good solar cycle, or as good as it can be considering.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

“Jack, lookit this.” Miko held out her laptop during lunchtime as the three friends sat at a table in the cafeteria. “Look at the user name.” 

Jack’s eyes opened wide. “Silver_seeker. You don’t think. . .?” 

“Yeah, I do think. Ya know what the fact that he’s on reddit means, right? It means he’s somewhere here, on Earth . It’s gotta be Screamer, who else would have a user name like that? And ya know when Ratchet got hold of Fowler yesterday saying just in case he showed up to keep an eye out for him because he was worried about him? Maybe he can help us find him using IP addresses an’ stuff.” 

Chapter Text

The first reply to his post made him smile sadly, not just because the human had not questioned his word choices [Starscream had never been good about translating the Cybertronian dating to Earth dating, he just never bothered to learn how to convert it in his head] but because they actually understood . 

“u/Little_Yume

You are not alone, I lost my (19 F) Lover (21 F), Who comes from Ulsan, South korea, at a Earthquake in Nagoya (a city located in the Chubu region) a few weeks ago. her family announced it to me, at first, i felt... alone. Almost as if i was doomed to return to my hikikomori/suicidal habits, but thanks to them, i was able to contact TELL and go on

heres a little tip: Ever feel like you want to join them (since i dont know their gender)? Call TELL, 119 (Official number in Japan, where i live) or... whatever crisis hotline is available in where you are. This is coming in from a Japanese who is speaking english

Oh, if you want to know their names. my name is Miyazu Iwajima, My former GFs name is Moh Yeon-joo

u/Silver_seeker

They would refer to themselves as male, though I suppose gender can be such a fluid concept it likely doesn’t matter. But what I wish to say is thank you. You’ve no idea what it means to me to know I am not alone.

I hope you understand why I must remain anonymous here. My love and I were on opposing factions in a war, and though it is over now, and I switched sides right before it did after my ex and boss attempted to kill me, the caution still remains. But you may call me Star if you wish. 

Sadly I doubt any crisis hotline is prepared to deal with the mess I have in my head, but the thought is very much appreciated none the less. But I am a survivor, and will do my best to do so. ”

________________________________________________________________________________

“I’m gonna reply to him, Jack.” Miko was typing away on her laptop with an intense look on her face. 

u/hardrock_and_pink_pigtails

You’re not alone. If you need to talk, you can DM me, I don’t mind at all. Just know you got people in your corner, people that love you even if you feel like right now you can't trust anybody. People that have faith in you that you can make it through this, even if right now it feels like the only thing you wanna do is go quietly into that good night. .

But that ain’t your style. I know that just because you’re reaching out for the hands of others, even if you’re not sure that you can trust it or not. Just keep that faith in yourself, and you’ll make it out the other side. 

I believe in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself right now. 

Starscream set the pad down, optics going wide as pieces clicked together in his mind. The user name and the way the person spoke told him exactly who it was, and he practically scurried backward away from the pad as if it was a venomous snake. “Miko, you little glitch.” His spark was a whirlwind of emotion, he didn’t know whether to be touched that she’d even tried, or furious that she’d reached out.  Or even just sad that he’d have to possibly disappoint her in the end. 

Miko. . .I can’t. .. I can’t do this . The grief that had subsided for a time came back more fiercely than before, and he ended up curled up on his side trying to find some form of comfort as he threw the pad and it hit the clock radio [he wondered dimly whose it had been, as he had no idea whose berthroom this had been] and it started playing a country station. The song tugged all of the anger, sadness, and hopelessness to the surface. 

                                                                                                                                                         Baby why’d you leave me

                                                                                                                                                        Why’d you have to go?
                                                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                                                      I was counting on forever

                                                                                                                                                        Now I’ll never know.

                                                                                                                                                      I can’t even breathe

                                                                                                                                           It’s like I’m watching from a distance

                                                                                                                                                Standing in the background

                                                                                                                                                     Everybody’s saying

                                                                                                                                             “He’s not coming home now”

                                                                                                                                          This can’t be happening to me!

                                                                                                                                                This is just a dream

____________________________________________________________________________

A red crested helm was lifted within a cave somewhere between Jasper and Las Vegas. “Scrap”. The word was spoken quietly as the seeker inside the cave sat up and stretched from his recharge. The last surviving clone of the five that Starscream had created could feel the storm of emotions from what was now essentially his split spark twin. Starchaser, as he had styled himself now, had no idea the war was over, so his first instinct was to go to the place he knew, from the memories he shared with his twin, the Autobots’ last base was. 

He had been able to feel the pain from when Megatron had nearly killed Starscream, then the pain slowly fade as he’d recovered, the sparks of happiness at the friends he’d made, the brief storms of terror which he had assumed were panic attacks, and then the joy and love of him sparkbonding and then conjuxing the Prime. What he felt now from his twin was utter sparkbreaking grief. 

“I swear if you have harmed my twin, Prime or not I will remove your helm from your shoulders.” Starchaser snarled as he flew toward the empty aircraft hanger. 

Chapter Text

Once he reached the old hanger, Starchaser immediately noted that the doors were open, and the place was strangely quiet and empty. There was no one there but the dark skinned human liaison to the bots that had once lived in this hanger. 

“Starscream?” Fowler’s eyes went wide. “Do you know how worried your compatriots have been about you the past couple of days? Your brothers have been searching for you everywhere !”

“I am not him, I am his twin . We have not spoken in nearly a stellar cycle, though I have been able to sense things through our shared spark.” the seeker managed to keep control of his temper, he suspected his brother would not be happy if he harmed the fleshie. “Starchaser is my designation. Have you knowledge of where the Autobots have gone?” 

“Yeah, when the war ended they went back home. I don’t know exactly what happened, but yesterday CMO Ratchet contacted me and asked me to keep a watch out for your brother and to let them know if I saw him. Pretty sure the lot of them are holed up in Iacon City, so that’d be the best place to check first. I can space bridge you up there, if you’d like.” Fowler offered. 

“That would be acceptable.” Starchaser did his best to smile in a way that would not offend the human. “Thank you.” 

When the bridge portal spawned, he ran a few steps, jumped up, and transformed, sailing through the gate, coming through the other side to the slowly repopulating city as mechs and femmes both began to return from where they had hidden out during the war to avoid getting caught up in it. He saw Bulkhead standing next to two of the Constructicons that had just recently returned to Cybertron as a group of Vehicon drones worked on rebuilding an apartment block that had been damaged by a bombing early on during the war before everyone had fled the dying world.

He did a barrel roll, then dove to a few feet above the ground and transformed, landing with only the barest click of pedes on the metal of the planet’s surface. 

“Before you ask, no, I am not my twin. I would normally have a bone to pick with you about you murdering one of the clones in cold blood when all of us could feel it, but that is neither here nor there. I wish to ask if I could get all of you together at once in a joor or so.” 

Bulkhead just blinked , Hook and Scrapper eying him in curiosity. “I. .. could.  What’s your designation, anyway?” 

“Oh, how rude of me.” a smirk much like one a teenaged Starscream would have worn crept onto his faceplates. “Starchaser.” 

__________________________________________________________________________

Eventually, Starscream had dropped into recharge, still laying on his side. He had practically sobbed himself to sleep, and had not felt motivated enough to get back up off the floor and climb into the berth. He’d pay for it in the morning, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at this point. 

He had not closed off the psychic link to his clones primarily because he thought them all dead , and did not realize he was broadcasting his emotions like a beacon over it. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

It did not turn out to be a joor, but three solar cycles until the entire team was able to get together all at one time, primarily due to Bumblebee being down on Earth on a mission that he had not spoken to the rest of Team Prime about and not being able to get away until then. The group met in a small cafe on the outskirts of Iacon. 

“I called all of you here because I am worried about my sparktwin .” Starchaser started out “All right, first I probably ought to explain, I am not a sparktwin in a traditional sense. I am, matter of fact, the only survivor of Starscream’s clone armada that he created over a stellar cycle ago. But back to the matter at hand. . .I can sense his emotions through the twin bond, and he is spiralling . I need all of you to help me look for him, because Primus be damned I am not losing him after what myself and the other four clones went through to attempt to protect him.” 

He sipped at his energon goodie in an almost fussy manner as he realized one was missing, and a sinking feeling made him feel as if his tanks had dropped to his feet as he realized which one it was that was missing. “Uh. . where’s Optimus?” 

All of the present Autobots avert their eyes, their countenances all displaying the same raw grief Starchaser had been able to feel over the twin bond, and it suddenly clicked as he shook his helm in shocked denial. 

“He sacrificed himself to restore the Allspark. . .almost a week ago now. Starscream, as you can imagine, didn’t take it well. He transformed and flew off right after it happened.” 

“And you just fragging let him?!? You do realize what the first instinct of a widow among our kind is, right? You do recall that about 50% of Cybertronian widows offline themselves during the first week, and another 25% offline themselves within six months? You left him alone! ” Starchaser was almost screaming at them, he was so furious, but it was a fury born out of fear for his spark brother.   

“And we were supposed to stop him how? The only ones flight capable are the fledglings, Orion, and his trine, and do you think any of them had a chance in the pit of catching them if he wanted to outrun them? You’re his spark twin, you know him better than anyone, you know how fast he can fly if he wants to escape.” Bumblebee pointed out. 

Starchaser slumped because he knew the scout was right. 

“TC and Warp went looking for him as soon as he took off. Have faith they’ll find him.” Bumblebee gave his shoulder a slight squeeze of reassurance as Starchaser did his best not to just break down.

Chapter Text

Arcee wrapped an arm over Starchaser’s shoulder. “Look, despite everything he and I have done to each other, we forgave each other, ok? It isn’t out of not caring that we haven’t all just swarmed in like knights on white horses. But he’s like me in one way, and sweet Primus I never thought I’d admit to a trait me and that slagger share, but he prefers to process some things alone, or with maybe one or two other people. If he has a crowd around him he a: has a panic attack, or b: shuts down.”  

The third option, that he might try to kill them in a trauma induced blind rage, wasn’t said, neither of them needed to, they both knew it. 

Ratchet sighed and shook his head wearily. “I’m going to talk to Ultra Magnus and ask if I can bring Bumblebee with me to help find him. I have a few ideas of where he might have gone.” 

__________________________________________________________________________

Starscream shuddered, unshuttering his optics though still half in recharge, There, in front of his optics floating in his vision, was his conjux, semi translucent. “No, you can’t be here, you’re dead , I.  . .I must be losing my mind.” 

Starscream, you are not allowed to die . I will return, when I am able. You must wait for me. 

Once the specter had disappeared, the seeker was pulling in heavy invents. He was terrified thinking that his processor was malfunctioning with some form of trauma and grief induced psychotic break.

________________________________________________________________________

Starchaser insisted on going with Ratchet and Bumblebee when they got the permission another Earth week later to go back to Earth to search, just as they were getting ready to leave Ratchet’s comm pinged. 

“Ratchet. . .” the voice to come from the comm was ragged, but recognizable, and Starchaser almost burst out in rage and terror before the medic hushed him. “I think I’m going crazy. . .Optimus  is talking to me, I know he's dead but I keep seeing him everywhere and he's telling me I'm not allowed to die and I'm scared, Ratchet, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared!" Fierce, spark wrenching sobs sounded from the other end of the line, and hearing it nearly broke Ratchet’s spark. 

“I think I know where he is.” the seeker murmured. “Or at least I’m relatively sure. Comm our brothers and let them know to be on standby?” 

Ratchet nodded wearily at that. 

“I’ll go in first, he’ll be so shocked that one of his clones survived it will keep him from throwing things when the rest of you get there.” 

“Carrier?” Orion’s violet optics went wide. 

“Sorry kiddo. I’m technically your uncle, even if you do share my CNA. But we’re going to bring him back, I promise, ok?” Starchaser leaned in and gave the young triple changer a hug as the space bridge opened. “Stay-here, ok? Watch over my nephews and nieces, I know you’re worried about your carrier, but too many people around is only going to make things worse.”  

Starchaser gave the coordinates for the Harbinger to the Bot at the space bridge controls, and as the portal opened, he transformed and flew through it, not waiting for Ratchet and Bumblebee, he knew they would come through right behind him. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Starscream had dropped into stasis right after the comm call, too hungry and weak to stay online any longer. He didn’t realize what was happening, or why he was so hungry all the time. Not that he had had the presence of mind to truly feel his level of starvation. 

He didn’t even hear the sounds of jet turbos approaching from the hallway of the Harbinger.as his spark twin flew as fast as he could to reach him. 

Starchaser transformed back to root mode, making a squeak much like his twin would make in utter startlement at the sight that met his optics. “Primus almighty, what have you done to yourself?” the words were a shocked whisper as he knelt down next to Starscream. The poor mech looked like he hadn’t washed or polished since he’d left Cybertron, and when he did a quick scan he could not only immediately see how Starscream’s spark had begun to sputter from there being absolutely no fuel in his tanks at all, but another thing that made his optics nearly bug out of his helm. 

“Ratchet! We need you now !” he yelled back. “Have TC and Warp waiting within trine bond range, he’s likely going to need their support to keep him alive until we get him back to Cybertron for treatment!” 

“He closed the bond.” TC explained. 

“You know as well as I do, brother dear, that he doesn’t have the strength to keep it closed anymore, just take the weight off his spark, all right? I didn’t spend a stellar cycle in the wilderness after Megatron beat my aft six ways from sunday trying to save his to lose him now!”  

Ratchet worked quickly when Starchaser flung out one spindly arm, the unspoken acceptance that his twin was likely to need an energon infusion before they took him through the space bridge clear in his actions. “Thank Primus we Cybertronians don’t have to worry about blood type compatibilities” he muttered, hissing as the needle went through his plating, down into the protoform to tap one of his lines, the needle on the other end of the long, hollow tube going into Starscream’s main sparkline. 

“He won’t need much, thankfully, just enough to keep his spark from going out while he’s in transport.” Ratchet himself Then he gasped. . .”He’s. . .he’s been sparked .” 

“You saw it too, then?” Starchaser’s tone was muted, almost melancholic. “The newspark’s most likely been cannibalizing his circulatory energon and the metals from his frame. No wonder he nearly died after only two weeks without fueling.” 

“By my calculations, conception of the sparkling would have occurred. . .about 3 quartexes ago? On their conjuxing night is the most likely. He probably, if how few symptoms he had with Orion is any indicator, didn’t even know he’d been sparked.”  Once Ratchet was sure there was enough energon around the Seeker’s spark for it to be safe to transport him, he removed the line, made sure Starcream’s spark line was patched, then ever so gently lifted his frame from the floor into his arms. 

//We have you, Star// Thundercracker’s voice was gentle over the trine bond. 

//I’m right here too, Screamer. We’re not gonna let you fall.//

Chapter Text

“What in the Unicron forsaken pit were you thinking?!?”  If the rest of the floor of the hospital in Iacon didn’t know that Starscream was still recovering from severe underfueling, they would have thought it was him yelling in the private room at the end of the hall [paid for out of the Prime’s private funds, of course.] . 

Starscream opened his intake to make an excuse, then snapped it back shut again. He had, as he had begun to rise out of stasis, been able to sense the burning fury of the last survivor of his armada, though he had not realized in his muddled state who he was dealing with [and Primus did he have questions about how the clone had survived and where he had been for the last stellar cycle, but he wasn’t going to ask those now, not the time] until he unshuttered his optics to see his own face reflected back at him but this face twisted in a towering rage.

But underneath that rage were hurt and terror, the anger, fear, and hurt simmering in a volatile mix through both the twin bond and in Starchaser’s field, crackling like electricity. Shame flooded his own, shame that he had let himself fall so low in his grief. 

“Truthfully, I wasn’t thinking.” were the first words to come out of the vocalizer of the one still recovering. Starscream was wise enough to know that lying to this one was useless, he’d know better. 

“Damn right I’d know better. We’re spark twins, of course I’d know you were lying.” 

“Could you. . .not do that?” the words were spoken in a weary tone. “It’s creepy. But I probably should ask how the pit are you , you know, not offline? ” 

“My dearest twin. . .” Starchaser’s derma curled into a smirk, his field broadcasting amusement. “I’m you in the very strictest sense of the word. How many times have you survived being beaten to a scrap pile by that slagger? I simply waited until his attention turned to the others, played dead in the doing, and when his back was turned got the slag out of there. And before you ask, because I know you will, I stayed away because your life was already complicated enough after you fled the Nemesis for me to return and make it even moreso . I returned because you attempted to starve yourself into the Allspark . I did not nearly die at Megatron’s servos and spend a stellar cycle fending for myself for you to join the allspark. I refuse to lose you to your own grief.” 

“Screamy.” a small, bouncing blur in a space suit nudged at Starchaser to be lifted up onto the bed so she could see her bestie. “I-am-furious-with-you.” 

Starchaser did indeed lift her up onto the berth, burying the slight smirk that tried to creep onto his face. 

Starscream leaned his helm down so that he could touch his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry.” he said to her softly, and his tone said he meant it. “This. . .wasn’t like that time you caught me in the washracks, you know. I am, and have been, sparkbroken. Losing a conjux is one of the most difficult things any of our kind could ever go through, and the majority do not live through even one loss of that nature, much less two . When a conjux dies, they literally take a portion of our souls with them. That kind of pain is something only the very strongest of us can survive.”  

Miko’s expression was serious under the helm, her head lowering. “I hate that you’re going through this.  You’re my friend and. . .” her voice shook as a lump of emotion built in her throat, choking her, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “Just. . .less than a year ago I hated you, and now I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t want to lose my best friend, but at the same time. ..I feel guilty for trying to hold you here when I can see how much you’re hurting. I’m not blind , Star.” 

Starscream pulled her close to his chest plates in an awkward single-servoed hug, doing the best he could to comfort her. “None of this is your fault, Miko. If there is one thing I regret it is that you humans got mixed up in this war in the first place. But if I’d never met you. ..I would have missed out on one of the best things to ever happen to me, the first ray of light in my life for vorns without counting, and that I do not regret. I will never regret having met and befriended you.”

Miko sniffled, then smiled, scrambling up to hug his neck tightly. “I don’t regret meeting you either.. I don’t regret making Bulkhead stop that day and saving you. It earned me one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I make you a promise, right here, right now, ok? If you stay strong for me? I’ll help you get through this the best I can. When you feel like you’re gonna fall off the edge, I’ll throw a hand out to catch you. When I think you’re getting too deep into your own head and are gonna do something dumb as a result, I’ll call you out on it. You said he said he was coming back, right? Hang onto that, and I’ll do the best I can to help you make it until then. Arcee, Jack, Raf, Ratch, Bulkhead, Ullra Magnus, Bee, Smokescreen, Jackie, your brothers, your son, Hell even Soundwave and especially Knock Out and Breakdown, we all love you and we wanna help you.”  

Starchaser stepped back to let the others in to see his brother, considering how small the room was there wasn’t room for one more seeker when his twin’s trine and the small contingent of Autobots that had become Starscream’s comrades filtered into it. 

None of them could see the half-transparent figure standing in the very back, smiling slightly before he turned and disappeared. Minimus would be calling Prime back at any moment for more training, but he had snuck off to check on his conjux while he could. He’s going to make it now, and that is what matters . And as soon as Minimus finishes with me, I’ll be home.  

____________________________________________________________________________

“I’m going to be a big brother?” Orion’s optics seemed to almost light up as he huddled between his two uncles. 

“Yep.” Skywarp remembered when his own sire had told him the same news when he had been about Orion’s age. He had had the same look of joy and wonder that Orion wore at the news. He watched that self same little brother recharging on the berth in front of them, exhaustion finally dragging him down into the depths of it, but thankfully no bad fluxes this time. 

“Ya know, something is coming, I can sense it. Primus doesn’t give out gifts like he gave your carrier for no reason. “ Skywarp’s expression was pensive. “Just wish I knew what.”

Chapter Text

“So, Ah wanna know what’s been goin’ on since we’ve all been out in deep space.” Ironhide was walking next to Arcee, his drawl showing he was relaxed. 

“Ironhide, you wouldn’t believe me if I laid it all for you.” the femme’s mouth quirked up into a sardonic and bemused grin. “We stole Starscream from Megatron, about six or so quartexes ago. Megatron  tried to kill him for stealing some energon from him, damn near did . One of the humans we befriended while we were on Earth and Bulkhead rescued him, saved his life. He and Optimus spark bonded and had a son, who is around here on Cybertron, probably keeping an eye on his carrier. During his time on Earth, before he joined us, he created five clones of himself for the purpose of killing Megatron.” her helm lowered a moment as she shook itt. “One of his clones survived, calls himself Starchaser, the two of them are pretty much spark twins. To say Starchaser is protective of him would be an understatement. Lastly, Optimus sacrificed himself to restore the Allspark to the Well.” 

Ironhide winced at that. “Ah know how losin’ a conjux feels. . .if it hadn’t been for everything else goin’ on, an’ for my comrades needin’ me so much, Ah probably would have followed Prowl into the Allspark. Ah guess that’s yer way of tellin’ me to be gentle with the glitch?” 

“As much as I never expected to say this of Starscream of all mechs. . .yes. He’s changed, Ironhide. A lot . He’s become a much better mech than he started out as, and with Optimus gone he’s really struggling.  It’d probably be best to just talk to him instead of interrogating him, you can see what I mean for yourself.” 

“Ah’ll let Jazz an’ Mirage know what you said too, Arcee. If they go in all guns a’blazin’ they’re gonna go in shootin’ first an’ askin’ questions later, an’ I don’t think he or they need that.” 

“There’s one more thing you should know, Ironhide. He’s a Matrix bearer now. The last one on Cybertron. If you let Jazz and Mirage know that , it may make them think twice about treating him like he’s still the enemy.” 

The smile reached blue optics as the red painted Autobot nodded. “Ah’ll let ‘em know. Ah guess Prahm saw somethin’ in Starscream none of us could see, ‘cause Primus doesn’t hand Matrixes out like candy. It takes a special kinda mech to be blessed with one. “  

__________________________________________________________________________

“You know, my people are going to ask: why give him a matrix?” Prime’s expression is a slight smile. “I mean, I think I know why, I’ve walked the halls of his spark, but the others. . I don’t know if they would understand.” 

“Primus sees the nobility that even he does not see through the damage that has been done to him.” Micronus returns the smile. “Once his spark was young, scrappy, and hungry, wanting nothing more than freedom and equality for those he loved, those he ruled . It is why Megatron’s words resonated with him so much. Before he lost his way. You have helped him more than you know to find that part of him again. But he has a duty in his future, and you must be stronger so that you can stand at his side when he fulfills that destiny. As you once fulfilled your own.” 

Sky blue optics shuttered as he thought on his conjux, and how much the mech had changed in so short a time. Starscream had become less caustic and closed off, more open to the people around him. All he could attribute that to was how his men had proven again and again that they would remain loving, supportive, and gentle to the traumatized mech in their charge, even when the seeker pushed their buttons to try to push them away. It hadn’t taken Optimus long to realize at all that the sharp temper was a defense mechanism. The other Autobots had simply followed his lead until the warmth had sanded down all of Starscream’s rough edges. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Ironhide was the one to come to meet Starscream as he was released. “Ah’d say let’s go out for a drink, but it’s probably not a good idea, you bein’ sparked up an all.” 

Starscream turned his helm toward Ironhide slowly,  optics shuttering and unshuttering as if he was not entirely sure he’d heard the other Autobot correctly. “I’m. . .what?” 

“Ya didn’t know?” Ironhide scratched the back of his helm. “Ah’d thought Ratchet woulda told you by now.” 

The seeker’s helm lowered. “He probably wasn’t certain I was ready for it. I understand why he would think that. “ a sighed out exvent came from him. “I was deep enough into depression that I wasn’t taking care of myself very well. But. . .aside from being scared as to whether my gestational protocols are going to kick in correctly or not. . .I’m glad.” 

“Well, from what Ah heard, yer about 3 quartexes in, so Ah’d guess they did.” Ironhide smiled a bit. “Ah’m happy for ya, though. You and Prahm, though, can’t say Ah’d ever expected it, but from what Ah heard, the two of ya have been good for each other, and Ah can’t say Ah’m unhappy about it. Primus knows Prahm needs to get that stick outta his aft sometimes.” 

 That drew a laugh from Starscream. “You are not wrong . I love him, sweet Primus I do, but there are times he can be a bit. . .overprotective.” 

The story of the attack on the Autobot base and how when he’d been carrying Orion Prime had forced him to stay back was relayed to Ironhide. “In the shower ! I mean, seriously, how rude is that?” 

“Arcee got ya an apartment, should be big enough that once Prahm is back ya won’t have to upgrade. Yer brothers are already there.” Ironhide handed Starscream the key and gave him his comm code. “Call me if ya need anything aight?” 

A nod, and the seeker opened the door to the apartment to find it quiet and pitch dark inside until the light was suddenly switched on to reveal all of his brothers, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, Bulkhead, the kids, Ratchet, and Arcee who called out “Welcome home!”

Chapter Text

The party had been raucous enough for one of the neighbors to come and ask Starscream to keep it down, but he was smiling widely as he assured the bot he’d make sure they get quieter. 

“You know, never figured on being a neighbor to a former ‘Con, but gotta admit-” the blue and yellow painted laborer said with a bemused grin. “You’re not bad. If you ever need anything, I’m in 15-A. Just knock on the door and I’ll be there. But should give you a heads up, the guy down the hall in 15-F lost a conjux and a son and daughter in the war. If he finds out you’re here, he’s likely to cause trouble even if you are an Autobot now. Just be careful.” warning given, the mech closed the door behind him.

“Skywarp, Thundercracker, Starchaser. I would appreciate it if you kept a watch out.” Starscream told his trine and his spark twin as the others cleared out when the party began to break up. “Our next door neighbor in 15-A told me the one in 15-F lost family during the war and might cause trouble if he sees me, and I for one do not want any. “

“If you’d like, I could handle any of your shopping or anything else you need, as we haven’t repainted yet we look exactly alike and I could easily act as a decoy.” Starchaser offered. 

“It isn’t a bad idea. . .”  Starscream mused. “But if he tries to get violent with you, I want you to flee, understood? I am not willing to risk your death over some idiotic misunderstanding, and I also do not want to be imprisoned for murder because you were forced to defend me against some hotheaded neighbor because they think I did it.” 

__________________________________________________________________________

It was almost as if the neighbor’s words the previous night had been a premonition. 

Starscream was pacing in the living room as morning turned into noon time, causing Thundercracker to groan. “Sit down, stop pacing, and tell us what’s troubling you, Star.” 

“I sent Starchaser out to get the paints and clearcoat so I could redo my trine colors, but he left this morning. It’s near mid day, he’s been gone far too long for comfort.” 

“Calm down, Screamer, maybe he got hung up.” Skywarp shook his head as the comm pinged. 

“Yes, what is it?” Starscream’s voice was terse as he answered the comm, then his optics narrowed. “Come with me, you two. For now, we’re going to go check on my twin, but afterward, we have an aft to beat in.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

“You didn’t have to come check on me, twin.” Starchaser’s larger wings twitched.  “I’ll be out of here in the morning. He managed to give me the Cybertronian version of a concussion, and dinged up my tailfins a bit, but isn’t like I’m dying or anything.” 

“I don’t care. He hurt you, and I am not letting him get away with that.” 

“ We are not.” Skywarp emphasized. “You’re family, and family protects family.” 

“Make sure you take video of when you rough that damned miner up, he deserves it. Oh, by the way, I managed not to lose your paints. I want to see you in full trine colors when you go to frag that guy up.” Starchaser smirked wickedly. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Knock Out grinned as he spread all the paints out on one shelf and turned on the sound system behind him, the one he had brought from Earth. Out of the speakers blared a synth rock song as he got started. 

                                    “Just paint your face” the shadows smile

                                            Slipping me away from you.

The bass pounded from the speakers as in careful yet flourishing brushstrokes, Knock Out helped Starscream begin to regain some of his identity, the parts of himself that he had stripped away for the purpose of survival after he had thought his trine dead.  

The first two layers of paint were masterfully done, and by the time the song had reached its end Knock Out was brushing over the glossy top coat, the clear stain-like paint that had little iridescent specks in that sparkled like diamonds in full sun.

“Now the last touch. The little red war paint stripes under your optics.” Knock Out grinned, finishing it off, and let Thudercracker and Skywarp back in. 

“Whoa, Screamer, you look. . .amazing! So good to see you back in your trine colors again.”

Chapter Text

It didn’t take the three long to be ready to head down to 15-F, and the massive orange and yellow miner was outside of his door when they arrived. 

“You!” Starscream poked the oversize stone hauler in the chest.  “You hurt my twin. You don’t get to do that unpunished.” 

“It was you seekers that bombed Tarn.” the mech growled. “That are why my conjux and sparklings died.” 

“You think you’re the only one who’s lost anything in this war.” The seeker hissed in return. “You were far from. Tarn nuked my home . On the Council’s orders, naturally, but the point stands. Getting a few heavy missiles tossed into it was the least that hive of scum deserved after turning Vos to glass while most of my people slept . It was because of that bomb that for me to carry the seekerlet I do now had to be the result of literal divine intervention because of how close I was to ground zero.” 

The miner swung at Starscream at those words, which after he dodged he and his brothers piled onto the guy, claws lashing out wherever they could reach. By the time they climbed off him the orange and yellow mech had energon sluggishly dripping from numerous long, shallow scratches on his frame. “Now that you have learned that your actions have consequences, I will repeat one last time. Stay away from me, stay away from my family. If you ever touch any of us again, my trine and I will thrash you to within an inch of your life then turn you in. Have I made myself understood?”  

A slow blink, then a nod, was the miner’s response. “I will not harm you or yours ever again.” came the solemn vow. He had realized something, in that moment. Former Decepticon or not, the seeker was more than willing to go to bat and fight for his family. Maybe we’re not so different as I thought . But more, Bitstorm had sensed something else. The pulsing power of the Primes nestled next to the seeker’s spark. 

____________________________________________________________________________

“It’s funny.” Thundercracker spoke the words in a musing tone. “Ever since Star got that matrix he’s been calmer . I like this new look on him, to be honest. “ 

Skywarp smirked “Our brother, a Prime ! Who’da thunk it?” 

“Not that he’ll use the name the Matrix bestowed on him. He still thinks he isn’t worthy. He knows better than any how much evil he’s wrought in Megatron’s name. But he’s also done plenty of good. I mean, Prime doesn’t choose a bad person to be his conjux, and he’s chosen our brother. There’s something to be said about that, right?” 

____________________________________________________________________________

Starchaser walked in the next day and when he saw his twin his optics went wide. “The new paint looks good . Do you mind doing mine, same colors but inverted palette?” 

Starscream grinned and nodded, getting the supplies. “It’ll be good for us to look different enough to tell us apart, now that the mech in 15-F will no longer be an issue for us.” 

“So, how is the little bitlet?” Starchaser set a hand on his twin’s abdominal plating, right over the gestation chamber. 

“Better than I expected, considering how their first two weeks were spent.”  Starscream drew his knees up to his chest, setting his chin on top of them. “Can I tell you a secret?” His optics pinned his twin’s, and some deeply troubled emotion rested within them. “I’m not dealing with all of this, being without him, as well as I make everyone think. I’m not actively trying to offline myself anymore, sure, but. . .” 

Starchaser set a servo on top of his. “I know. How could I not? I’m your twin! But I am proud of you. You’re pulling yourself up every day, doing what you need to do to assure the survival of this little one. You may be doing little more than coming out of recharge and fueling, but under the circumstances, even that much is a victory. Don’t put yourself down because you don’t think you’re making enough effort. Every solar cycle that you’re still alive is a victory in and of itself and something to take pride in.” 

“It’s hard. . “ and the seeker swallowed back a lump of emotion that tried to clog his vocalizer. “So hard just getting up and plastering this big fake smile on so I don’t worry everyone. So hard burying my grief down deep and acting normal, because it’s what’s expected of me.” Lubricant had gathered and Starscream didn’t even realize it until the first of the crystalline drops fell onto his knee. “It takes every bit of mental energy I have just to put that mask on every time I climb off this empty berth.” 

“You don’t have to wear that mask with us, you know that, don’t you?” Starchaser squeezed the servo that he held in his. “We all know you’re hurting. Trying to hide it is only going to make healing harder, and you’re going to need all the strength you can get dealing with the new spark. Believe me when I say it’s harder dealing with a newspark than one where you stick it in a protoform. May not know it from experience, but trust me I’ve seen enough holovids on rearing mechlings to know it’s harder when they actually grow.” A slight smile lifts his mouth at that. “But from what I have seen, it is worth every bit of struggle.” 

“I think I may call Miko tomorrow. I want to start rebuilding, and I want to go over some blueprints of New Vos with her. She has a good eye for details I might sometimes miss. All of this may be hard, very hard, but I want Optimus to return to something that he can be proud of, and me rebuilding my homeland is certainly that.

Chapter Text

“Screamy!” Miko’s face held a smile over the comm after the seeker called her. “You look really good! I got the blueprints for you, by the way. Raf’s better with Autocad and all that computer shit than I am, but I think it looks pretty good.”

The scanned blueprint that came out the other end was examined, and he smiled. The tall spires with the dome over it, the numerous perches on top of buildings and around the skyways, all of it looked almost exactly like the drawing he had made all those quartexes ago. “This is. . .beautiful. Looks like Raf even figured out how to make the propulsion systems to keep it floating work.”

“So, ya still gonna let me come visit Vos when you’re done with it? Steve and Ratchet have figured out how to modify the Apex Armor to allow it to transform and give it a flight mode! I won’t be able to keep up with you, obviously, but it’ll at least give me a good chance to see the city from above.”

“It will take time to build off these blueprints, but I promised you, didn’t i? Besides, I’m not going to be able to fly at the same speeds in a quartex or two anyway. I am carrying, and this time my gestation protocols are actually working properly.” But his expression grew serious as he looked at Miko. “But there is something else I needed to tell you. Thank you, Miko. Thank you for reaching out to me when I was at my lowest and talking me away from the edge long enough for Starchaser to find me. I’m still not all right, but I’m getting there. And as my twin ever so succinctly put it, every day that I still rise from my berth, refuel, and care for myself is a win, and I am going to continue to the extent that I am able to put one foot in front of the other until my Conjux and I are as one once more.”

“Ya know, Bumblebee came back here, and there was something here on Earth that might be of use to you later. But I’ll tell you all about it once Optimus is back. I know you’re dying to see him again. We’re still not sure when it’s gonna happen, but Bee says he’s been seeing more visions of him, so we know he’s out there.”

A slight smile crossed the Seeker’s face as he saw a vision of his conjux out of the corner of his eye, smiling back at him in return.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Thank you, Micronus. . .for letting me communicate with my conjux even if only briefly. He has a greater destiny, and he must not fall to his own grief. For he possesses the last active Matrix of the Primes.” Optimus bowed to the Prime before him.

“We changed his destiny for a reason, Brother. And you have played your part in bringing about the destiny we prepared for this Child of Solus to perfection, for which I thank you.” Micronus’s expression was serene as he spoke. “You were kept from the All Spark because you too have a further part to play. You were kept from your conjux so that he could gain the strength of mind and spark needed for what he must do. In order to act, he must have the courage and conviction that faith in his own worth provides. You planted the seed, but he must be able to stand on his own for that seed to fully blossom.” The smallest of the Primes set a hand on his youngest brother’s shoulder. “He began that journey from what he was to what he is meant to be when he chose to build rather than destroy, and form the bonds with those around him that will be needed in the days to come.”

“He has always been stronger than he ever gave himself credit for.” Prime smiled “Even before he switched sides, he survived. I have faith that he will now.”

___________________________________________________________________________

A week passed, and the first parts of the city of New Vos had begun to go from the blueprint stage into actual building as more Seekers returned from deep space, Starscream not able to help the expression of serenity as he realized more of his people had survived than he had thought, and several of them had newsparks in their cockpits, a sure sign that the survival instinct nearly every Seeker possessed had remained with them even during the worst of their hardships.

:”Dirge, Ramjet, Thrust! I thought the three of you had died in the early years of the exodus. I never thought I would say this, but I’m happy to see you alive. And Dirge, is that a sparkling curled up in your cockpit I see?”

Dirge smirked “It is. I’m sorry to inform you, however, that Nova Storm, Ion Storm, and Acid Storm have rejoined the All Spark. This is Nova Storm’s bitlet, she told me if anything was to happen to her, when Cybertron was revived we were to bring him back to be raised on his homeworld.”

Thrust poked the tiny protrusion on Starscream’s own abdominal plating. “So, who finally managed to pin you down long enough to spark you up?”

“First off, Thrust, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Second of all, who says he pinned me down?” A wicked smirk played across the Air Commander’s face. “Because if you must know, I pinned him down.”

“Try me.”

“A certain Prime, and yes, I pinned him down, not the other way around. This one is actually my second, I had to transfer the first newspark into a protoform, trying to actually raise a sparkling wasn’t conducive to fighting a war at the time.”

Thrust was struck speechless. “No way. No way you bagged a Prime.”
“I can prove it.” Starscream called to Orion, who was a bit away from them helping some of the Vehicons move raw materials.

“Carrier, are these friends of yours?”

“Indeed, Orion, they were under my command prior to the war. This is Thrust, Dirge, and Ramjet, they were the trine immediately under the trine your uncles and I are part of.”

Thrust shuttered and unshuttered his optics as if trying to clear them. Orion’s obvious relation to his sire was plain to see, but the slimmer build and the wings were all his carrier, as was the set of his violet optics.

“Wow.” was the only word that would come out of his intake.

Chapter Text

Later, his brothers returned to their apartment to hear the sound of a piano, one that had been custom made to be large enough for one of them to play. The instrument was similar enough to the keyboards that existed on Cybertron for the one sitting in front of it to be able to play it easily. Knock Out, who had come with them to see the friend he hadn’t seen in a while, shuttered his optics and listened. He recognized the song easily enough, it was one he had played plenty a time in the med bay, but this time the medic sensed it held a special place for the seeker whose optics were shuttered as he played. 

 Starscream’s voice shook as it joined the piano, and Thundercracker remembered which anniversary it was. His little brother had never had an easy relationship with their sire, and the oldest of the three knew their trine leader harbored many regrets for not making his peace with the mech before the war had taken both of them from the three.

                                             “Every generation blames the one before.

                                    And all of their frustrations, come beating on your door.

                                      I know that I’m a prisoner to all my sire held so dear

                                      I know that I’m a hostage to all his hopes and fears

                                       I just wish I could have told him in the living years

                                     More crumpled bits of paper filled with imperfect thought     

                                        Stilted conversations, I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

                                     You say “I just don’t see it.” He says “It’s perfect sense”

                                        We just can’t get agreement in this present tense.    

                                      We both talk a different language, talking in defense. 

                                                        Say it loud, say it clear

                                                  You can listen as well as you hear.

                                                      It’s too late when we die

                                               To admit we don’t see eye to eye.”

Thundercracker set a servo on one shoulder as Skywarp set his on the other. //We know.// Was all that was said. 

                                                  “I wasn’t there that morning.

                                                  When my sire passed away

                                                      I didn’t get to tell him

                                                   All the things I had to say

                                                    I think I caught his spirit

                                                       Later that same year   

                                                    I’m sure I’ll hear his echo

                                                In my sparkling’s newborn tears

                                                 I just wish I could have told him

                                                         In the living years.” 

As he finished, he looked up at the three, with a sad yet sardonic smile and a headshake. 

“You know Sire did love you, right?” Skywarp wrapped his arms over his baby brother’s shoulders. “I think he’d be proud of who you are now. Proud that you’re rebuilding our home, that you’ve turned away from the destruction. He just didn’t understand that you had greater ambitions than just being in Vos’ air force. It’s a different world now  than it was before.” 

“Not so sure he’d be proud of me conjuxing a grounder.” the seeker’s derma quirked that smile into a smirk. 

“When that grounder’s a Prime? Yeah, I think he would be.” Thundercracker grinned. “He’s no Solus, but he’s still a Prime, and that matters.” 

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Starscream’s comm beeped when he came out of recharge in the morning, and he smiled when he saw the glass of special mix on the night table with a note that said “Drink up, my twin, we have a long day with the construction crews today.” 

“It’s Ironhide. Arcee, Bulkhead an’ I were wonderin’ if you’d like to come out with us for a bit tonight. There’s a show up at Maccadam’s, some small town band outta Kaon. I know you used to like the electronica stuff, ‘least that’s what Bee tells me, so figured you’d wanna come.” 

“As long as there’s something there that’s not high grade, I don’t see why not.” Starscream responded. “My trinemates have been trying to get me to leave the apartment more anyway, TC has outright accused me of ‘sulking’.” he snorted at that. “I do not sulk, I have too much dignity for that.” 

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Starchaser flew at his twin’s side as they circled the job site,  the two of them watching the workmen with a critical eye. The foundations of the first of the buildings were finally laid, the tarps going up around them to protect them from the weather which was beginning to return. 

~it’s looking good. The kid’s blueprints look exactly like the memories I inherited from you. You did good~ 

~Would you like to come out with Ironhide and I tonight? We’re going to see an electronica band at Maccadam’s.~ 

~I would love to. If I remember, Maccadam’s has a dance floor, and we both know you’re good at it~ as the two landed to help with the building efforts, Starchaser wore a wicked grin. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Bulkhead waved at two of the Vehicons to tell them to move the metal slab they carried a bit to the left, while another bolted two steel beams together. The main capitol building for New Vos was coming along quite nicely, something he was very pleased about. Once the Vehicons had gotten past the clumsiness they had become a fantastic workforce, and the Wrecker was delighted to have them. 

“Good job guys!” he called up to them just as an explosion suddenly rocked the ground nearby. 

“What the-?” he turned as he spotted a bomber overhead, but this one had no insignia of either Autobot or Decepticon on it. “Why the Hell would someone be bombing a construction site?” 

___________________________________________________________________________

Starchaser had taken off after the bomber, but a ground bridge had opened and the bomber disappeared through it, leaving him puzzled. “What in the pit?” he muttered as he landed and transformed next to his brother. 

“Someone doesn’t want us rebuilding.” is all Starscream could say “But I do not understand why.” 

“We should tell Ironhide when we go tonight.” Starchaser gripped his twin’s hands, reassured at the nod he received in return.               

Chapter Text

“Someone tried to bomb the construction site today.” Long taloned digits held the glass, twirling the fluorescent blue fluid that was held within.  “We knew there would be. . .rogue elements. .  .once the war ended, but I had never expected them to attempt to destroy Vos when we were in the process of rebuilding.” 

Ironhide’s optics narrowed in thought. “Somea the neutrals ain’t happy to have former ‘Cons workin’ in the rebuilding efforts, an’ somea ‘em ain’t happy Prahm chose you for a conjux either. ‘Course, they ain’t any more happy with us ‘Bots, they blame both sides for the war that damned near destroyed our home, an’ I can’t say as I blame ‘em. Ya should stay quiet about th’fact that Primus gifted you with a Matrix, ‘least for now. Don’t want to draw even more ire down on yer head than has already been.” 

“I heard murmurs while coming in, some of them saying I murdered my cojnux. They’ve no idea how ridiculous that is. They don’t know us, they don’t know what I have been through, or what he has done for me.”  Starscream’s helm lowered. “They have no idea how badly I have been suffering since Optimus sacrificed himself, even with the knowledge that he isn’t gone forever, it’s been difficult. I had to keep a tight rein on my emotions to keep from beating all of them to a pulp.” 

“Go on, enjoy yerself. Yer not gonna have many nights like this once things start speeding up. Rebuildin’ an’ dealin’ with the troublemakers is gonna be all hands on deck.” 

Starscream dragged Starchaser out onto the floor, the lean, sinuous body moving in time with the beat that the electronic drum machines were putting out. 

“He’s pretty good at that.” Arcee quipped, sitting next to Bulkhead. “Never thought I’d say this, but he’s actually pretty attractive when he isn’t putting all of his energy into being a traitorous, backstabbing aft.” The two wheeler took a sip of her drink, laughing at the askance look from Bulkhead. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d never go for it. Firstly, he’s not my type. Secondly, I think he’s pretty solidly mechsexual. Thirdly, well. .. he’s Prime’s, and I’m not going to poach from our leader.” A smirk lit her face. “Just. . .from a purely physical, aesthetic point of view, he’s attractive. I won’t tell him this, but it’s probably because of how femme he comes off that I find him attractive. He’d put a missile down my intake if I ever pointed out to him that he looks pretty femme.” 

Bulkhead got a good laugh at that himself. “He did get pretty offended when Smokescreen came  up with the ‘stiletto heeled freak’ moniker for him. I also noticed that that stopped pretty fast as soon as the kid realized Prime wouldn’t put up with his conjux being mocked that way, even if Prime’s a lot more gentle in his punishments than Megatron would ever be.” 

Starscream ended up dancing with another mech, a purple and yellow shuttleformer that had no faction insignia, but seemed to be perfectly happy dancing with the slender seeker. 

By the third song after he had begun dancing with the shuttle the mech excused himself and a grounder whose alt mode was a troop transport slid into his place, his black and green paint gleaming under the disco lights. 

Starscream’s optics widened as he realized just how large the grounder was, and granted the paint job was different, but the build? The build was enough like Megatron’s to set all of his alarm bells ringing, especially when a massive hand suddenly set itself on his hip, taking advantage of his frame going still in startlement to pull him close. The strong scent of high grade on the grounder’s intake would have been suffocating if he needed air for anything other than cooling his systems, and he could feel the heat coming off the mech’s interface array, even through the privacy plating. 

“Let go!” the seeker’s voice grew shrill as he tried to pry the grounder’s servos off of him, but the grip grew tighter. 

“Oh, come on, sweet spark. I’m gonna show you a good time, I promise.” 

Starscream’s invents sped, steam coming off his plating as panic began to send overheat warnings skittering across his HUD as the first panic attack he’d had in months began to creep up on him. 

Before he reached the height of the panic attack, his frame suddenly hit the floor hard, a distant ache exploding up his spinal strut as he landed on his back, and by the time his vision cleared, all he could see was the mech dangling from an extremely familiar looking data cable, and when the mech who had pulled the offender off him turned, a blank face visor met the seeker’s shocked gaze, a thumbs up first flashing across it, then a question mark before the symbiote docked to his chest went to alert one of the four bots that had come with him. 

“S-soundwave. . .thank you.” is all that would come out of his vocalizer as Starchaser reached him, helping him to his pedes even as his entire frame trembled, wings drawn low and tight to his body as he did the best he could to shut out the yelling from the mech that dangled from the data cable, and he saw the message that flashed on the screen directed at his would be rapist. Touch him again and I will shove this cable right through your spark. Do not test me. That mech saved my life, and I will allow none to harm him. Have I made myself understood?  

“Soundwave, ya gotta put him down so I can get the stasis cuffs on him.” Ironhide’s voice cut through the crowd. “Yer under arrest for attempted assault of a lascivious nature. I don’t think I gotta read you your rights, Shovelspin, pretty sure you been under arrest enough times by now for your behavior that ya know ‘em by heart. I’m also gonna make damn sure Blurr never lifts yer ban this time. He gave ya a second chance outta the goodness of his heart, but puttin’ your hands all over the Prahm’s conjux was probably purty much the final straw that put paid to that.” 

“He’s. . .” if Shovelspin could have gone pale he would have, but the expression on his face and the terror tinging his field spoke the story just as well as a bloodless face would have done. He knew was pretty well fucked.

Chapter Text

Starchaser flew next to his twin, his frame trembling in rage hard enough that he had to focus to fly straight. “I swear if I ever see that grounder again I’m going to claw out his spark. Surprised you didn’t.” 

“I nearly did, but having my newspark emerge in prison and Optimus returning to discover I was a murderer isn’t something I was wanting to do.” Starscream was equally furious, a cover for how utterly terrified he had been. “I will have to remember to talk to Soundwave once I can track down where he’s staying. I owe him more than I can express, and I need to set some things straight with him. I at least owe him that much.” 

“That was a pretty swift save. I swear, when that data cable came out I thought that lout was dead. “ Starchaser laughed. “You know, since the war ended I’ve noticed that Soundwave’s gotten really protective of you and your trine. It’s not a bad thing just. . .curious.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

“You are nearly ready.” Micronus’ voice reached Optimus, a smile adding warmth to those words. “As is your conjux. He has grown strong , stronger than even I had expected. “

“I would love to claim responsibility for this, Primus knows he’d attribute it to our relationship, but I know better. He’s had this in him all along.” Optimus chuckled softly at that. “I knew him, before the war, you know. When he still had his old frame, before the fall of Vos. He was. . .beautiful. He still is , in a different way than then, but his innocence shone through that eager gaze. Megatron, in his jealousy, tried so hard to crush his spirit, to dim that light, but he never quite succeeded. That seeker was far stronger and more stubborn than the warlord ever gave him credit for.” 

“He certainly is. I suppose I see the appeal. Primus certainly seemed to, though I would never claim to understand our Creator’s motivations.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

The morning was spent trying to track down Soundwave, with Thundercracker trying to get his brother to stop his search long enough to fuel. “Oh, of course he’s in Kaon.” Starscream had to chuckle softly as he absently lifted the cube his brother had dropped next to him, sipping on it. 

As soon as he finished fueling, he rose from his chair, walking to the balcony and jumping off of it, flipping as he came close to the ground and transforming to soar up into the air, flying toward Kaon hoping to find where the communications specialist was staying. 

When Starscream did find him, he was out on his balcony, and with another flashy-looking transformation the seeker landed on the metal surface, waving at him in greeting. “I wanted to thank you for last night.” his expression was nearly bemused. “And also. . .I wanted you to understand. I know the two of us have had a. . .strange relationship over the years, but I always respected you. That you followed me when you discovered just how off the rails Megatron had gone was more appreciated than you know.” 

Soundwave turned to him so he could see the message printed on the visor. I didn’t act when I should have, and no apology will ever make up for my inaction. The loyalty I had toward our leader for saving me from the gladiator pits was misplaced. It was you who made that clear, and I owe you more gratitude than I can express for that. 

“We both learned from our mistakes, and is that not all one could ask? That we learn from our missteps and do better?”

___________________________________________________________________________

Orion once he had found his own place on a renewed Cybertron had begun to take in the situation at hand.  Young by human standards or not, he possessed his carrier’s brilliance and could sense how the tides had begun to turn. More and more neutrals had begun returning in the wake of Primus’ reawakening, and murmurs of freeing themselves from the old factionists reached his audials. 

He walked down the streets of Iacon, dipping in and out of reopened shops, hearing two neutrals talking and heard  his carrier’s name mentioned in a sneering, derisive tone, causing him to listen more closely. 

“That seeker, I swear to Primus. Did you hear he started a fight at Maccadam’s last night? He and his thuggish toadies. He’s even got the ‘Bots toadying to him now. Seekers are only good for three things: Finding us energon, looking pretty in someone’s berth or on someone’s arm, or causing trouble. I know it isn’t all his fault what happened to Cybertron, but he certainly contributed.” 

Rage rose up in the younger mech. He knew well what his carrier had gone through prior to his creation, and he wasn’t going to tolerate it. There were tremors running through his wings as he whirled and marched over to the two talking. 

“You do not get to talk about my carrier that way.” The mechling’s imposing stature was a boon as he stood down the two shit talking Starscream. “You don’t know him, you don’t know what he’s been through, or what he’s truly like. He’s been faithful to my sire, even now when he has to be without him. Now, take it back.” 

The two didn’t even deign to grace the mechling with a reply, just turned and walked away.

Chapter Text

It has been six quartexes since I lost Optimus. The solar cycles have begun to blend together as I have finally been confined to my apartment by my brothers and my twin. The emergence of my newspark will be any cycle now, and I must confess I am a bit afraid. I have never done this before, not this way, and I am not certain if my reduced frame will make it possible for me to do this without surgical intervention. 

Starscream turned off the screen on the datapad to hide his journal as something akin to a cramping sensation rolled through his abdominal plating, drawing a soft groan from him. 

Starchaser at the same moment winced, turning to Thundercracker and Skywarp. “It’s time.” he said to the two of them, grabbing the small go bag with some energon treats that are safe to consume during emergence, a few of his twin’s favorite datapads, and a holovid projector to keep the carrier entertained during the joors required to bring the newspark into the world. 

Ratchet came to pick the seeker up, since flying in his condition was just not a good idea. “Just relax. We’ll get you to the med center in plenty of time.” 

Starscream didn’t get snappish as he normally would, and his silence was a sure sign he was hurting too much to do anything else but try to bear up under it. 

Once the group was hustled through the doors, it was recommended that he walk to help the little newspark descend. “Your pelvic struts are small even for a seeker’s.” Ratchet explained. “And this being Optimus’ newspark and larger than an average seeker bitlet. . well, it’s your best chance to not have to do this surgically, though I suspect that’s going to happen anyway.” the intimate scarring had never been spoken of since he’d discovered it all that time ago, but the medic knew it was likely to complicate things as much as the small pelvic space was going to. 

The searing and determined look, if looks could kill, would have had Ratchet sparkless on the floor. The seeker was nothing if not stubborn, and he was determined that he was going to do this the proper way, no matter how difficult it might be.  

Several joors passed, and the seeker was beginning to flag, his steps becoming more stumbling, but he was stubborn, refusing to give up until it was obvious it wasn’t going to happen. 

A familiar field brushed against his just as Starscream nearly collapsed in exhaustion, instantly perking him up as disbelief tinged his own. Tears filled his optics as he turned around, one clawed servo striking his surprised conjux’s cheek, though Optimus could see how that servo and the arm it was attached to trembled. 

A deep, sparkwrenching sob seemed to have been drawn up from deep within the seeker’s vents, two spindly arms throwing themselves over the Prime’s shoulders as if to verify that this was real , and not just another ghostly visitation, before the hand that had just smacked against his right cheek plate pulled his head down, and Optimus could taste the mix of coolant and energon as those tears dripped between their enmeshed derma. 

“Promise me. Promise me you’ll never leave me that way again. My poor spark couldn’t bear it.” 

“Not the time, Optimus.” Starchaser couldn’t resist the smirk that turned up the corners of his mouth though. “Your newspark is coming,”

“N-newspark?” Optimus smiled widely, sweeping Starscream up into his arms bridal-style, earning a faint squeak at his actions. But soon the seeker’s helm was resting on his chestplate, listening to the reassuring thrum of the Prime’s spark as he simply drank in the warmth of his conjux’s presence. 

An hour later, a tiny femme was cradled in her carrier’s arms, little wing nubs wiggling as she burrowed down against Starscream’s chest, soft chitters coming from her as sharp little fangs latched down onto the fuel line for her to feed. Her frame was a burnished silver color with red and blue trimming, and he could not be more proud of his tiny seekerling. “My precious Silvergrace.” He passed her once she dropped into recharge to her sire so he could hold her. 

“This isn’t the end. . .you and I both know that, my spark. “ Starscream’s words were quiet as he began to slip into recharge. “There is more yet left for us to do.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

A few solar cycles later, Starscream transformed, little Silvergrace settled into his cockpit as he flew back toward his apartment, smiling internally as he watched the eighteen wheeler below him keeping pace with him the best he could. Thundercracker was at his right wing, Skywarp at his left, and Starchaser behind him as the four flew in a diamond formation. 

As the four landed and transformed, Starscream reached out his servos for his brothers, feeling his spark swell with love for these four who had kept him balanced for the past nearly seven quartexes. “I owe all of you a huge debt of gratitude for keeping me safe and sane while Optimus was gone. One I doubt I could ever repay, no matter how many vorns I had left in me. All I can do is say thank you, from the very bottom of my spark.” 

And with that, he turned and walked inside, crawling into his bed next to his conjux. I will be ready for whatever life has in store for me next. For I know that I am still needed.