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This world they live in is shitty. Till has always thought that way ever since he was a kid, it was a life of a cattle, a lamb caged by these creatures who use them for entertainment. He wanted to prove them that he would thrive, and rise to the top. He didn't really give a shit about anything or anyone, he was a problem child and often exchanged blows with this one kid named Ivan.
That fellow is weird, he's always hanging around Till even when they don't get along. It happened a lot of times that he just let Ivan be by his side, whatever his business is.
"Do you believe in God?" Ivan pondered a question.
"No, stop talking." Till immediately answered.
"Once upon a time, mankind believed in God and had a religion." Ivan continued, and Till sighed heavily. He knew once this guy started, he'd just do whatever he wanted to and there's no stopping him.
Till just leaned back on the tree, trying not to listen to a word Ivan says but this damn fellow stares like he's trying to bore a hole in him.
"They believed that things that cannot be solved by human strength are the will of God." Ivan kept his eye contact with Till, a little smile forming in his lips.
"Believed that the entire universe revolved around the Earth, thought that the place that connected with the sky which they could not dare to reach was the place where gods lived."
"That's just ridiculous." Till rolled his eyes and yawned, wondering when Ivan would be finished with his gibberish.
Ivan shook his head gently, "From the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot God."
The smile Ivan had on his face slowly formed into a smirk, "But if belief in God is human, if all I can do as a human is to believe..." He slowly closed the distance between them in a heartbeat.
Till was taken aback, he was already leaning his back against the tree, what more space could he hold onto? "W-Why are you staring at me?"
"My God.." Ivan continued to push through.
"H-Hey, wait!" Till tried to stop Ivan from advancing any further.
"My Universe.."
"Ahh!! Go away! AAAAAHHH!" Till tumbled backwards along with Ivan, with his flailing around and clumsiness, he dragged the other down with him.
The two of them stayed like that for awhile, Till not being able to process just what goes on in this guy's head. He sighed again, "You're heavy, get off."
Ivan only wrapped his arms around Till, pulling his head closer to his chest. Ivan nuzzled his face against Till's head, rubbing it repeatedly like a cat would.
Till raised an eyebrow at this, what the hell is he doing? He was taken a back that he was loss for words. This isn't even the first time Ivan acts like this, he could never really read what goes on with his head. "Get off! Do you like me or something!?"
Ivan froze still for a bit, then laughed out loud. "Me? Like you?" He narrowed his eyes, full of affection but couldn't mutter the words out, 'more than you think.'
There was even a time when Ivan showed him what the world is outside, helping him escape and run free. But Till has someone important left behind, the one person he always look for wherever he goes.
"I can't." Till loosened his grip on Ivan's hand.
"I have to go back... I'm sorry." Without a second thought, he turned his back and ran straight where they came from.
Ivan was left speechless for a brief second before he drew a twisted smile on his face. "Yeah, you would do that. That's just how you are."
Ivan looked at the sky and reached a hand out, smiling bitterly.
—
Mizi has gone missing and Till's state of mind hasn't been the best ever since. The one person he came back for, the only one he...
Till shook his head and closed his eyes. It won't be long now before he joins her.
He went in not expecting for much, he sung like he always did, but there's no will in it. Eventually, he stopped, just feeling the rain on his face, just waiting for his end.
Until he felt a kiss on his lips, his eyes shot wide open and tried to push the other away.
'What is this bastard doing? Does he hate me so much that he wanted to end my life with his own hands? Fine.'
So when Ivan wrapped his arms around Till's neck, he didn't do anything. He stayed still and wanted it all to be over.
But when Till felt the hands on his neck waver and loosened grip, he opened his eyes.
What awaited him was Ivan coughing blood and falling to the floor.
Till couldn't process what was happening, his body moved on its own and caught the man in his arms. He felt so cold... he's touched Ivan's skin multiple times in the past when they exchanged blows but this time is different. Ivan was losing warmth in his body.
The first question that popped in his mind was 'why?'
Why did Ivan do this? Till has always thought this bastard hated his guts. There were only a few moments where they got along but most of the time they were at each other's throat. So why?
This idiot in his arms is dying yet he even had the energy to spout some bullshit. He always did that when they were little, talking about God and shit.
'Who cares about that right now when you're dying dumbass?'
What surprised Till more was the fact that there were tears streaming down his cheek. No way, is this real? Why is he crying? He didn't give a shit about this guy. He didn't, couldn't, wouldn't... except he did.
When Mizi went missing he did feel devastated, but not as devastated as he thought he would. The kind of pain he feels right now as he watches Ivan die right before his arms couldn't even compare.
Why didn't he realize it sooner? Why did he let go of Ivan's hand that time? Why does he only see the most important things before him when he's about to lose it?
"You.. bastard, wake up!" Till shook Ivan's lifeless body. "Wake up, I said!!" He gently slapped Ivan's cheeks to try and get him to look but no response was given.
Till pulled Ivan's head close to his heart, like Ivan did to him in the past. "I couldn't accept it.." His lips trembled, closing his eyes as he cry out in pain.
"I couldn't accept that my heart was changing, that's why I ran away from you. It was Mizi! It's supposed to be Mizi that I look for... but before I knew it, at the side of my eyes, I started looking for you too." Till gently caressed Ivan's hair, slowly opening his eyes.
"I realize it even more with you like this... Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Till started laughing maniacally, tears continued streaming down his face.
"How stupid am I, Ivan? I've loved you before I even knew what it was."