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It'll pass, I promise

Summary:

Kaveh’s mother… Kaveh missed her deeply. Who else would sit with him until he fell asleep? Encourage him to draw palaces and then build them later in life? Buy him building blocks? She had done so much for Kaveh, even in her grief. Kaveh held nothing but love and respect for her.

His world was falling apart on itself. Kaveh could no longer tell what was in his head and what was real. Most importantly, Kaveh refused to let anyone he loved experience this too. There was no way he could let Alhaitham experience this.

So, for every moment Kaveh had left in his life, he would work to ensure that Alhaitham wouldn’t grieve him. Even if it meant distancing himself from the person he cared about most.

Or

In Kaveh’s grief after losing his mother, he develops loneliness syndrome. After experiencing the ailment’s effects firsthand, he vows to ensure no one he loves develops it either. Even if it means straying from the people he loves the most.

Notes:

CONTENT WARNING: This fic has mentions and descriptions of death and delusion. Please don’t read if you are uncomfortable with these topics!

While this is an Alhaitham/Kaveh fic, it is also a fic which attempts to interpret the feeling of losing a loved one. Of course, I cannot be 100% accurate as to how all people feel towards this type of loss.

Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kaveh woke up on a creaky, stiff mattress. It was a little cold and very, very quiet. From what he remembered, his mother had gone out to buy groceries but still hadn’t come back. Kaveh didn’t want that, he wanted his mother to stay and home to rest while he could go out and convince the merchants to lower their prices. He must have fallen asleep before his mother left. After all, Kaveh had just come home from a long day at the Akademiya. Perhaps there was still time to catch up to his mother before she bought anything.

Panicked, Kaveh sat up and looked around. This wasn’t his room, or his home, or even Sumeru. It was a hospital in Fontaine. He wasn’t wearing his Akademiya uniform, he was wearing his mourning clothes. His eyes were a little swollen, perhaps from crying. But why would he be crying? A female doctor, who was sitting in a chair across from Kaveh’s bed, quickly got up to assist Kaveh.

“You’re awake!” she smiled. “Just sit for a few minutes, I have some questions.”

Kaveh, still in a daze, nodded and sat still.

“What is your name, sir?” the doctor asked.

“Kaveh.”

“Do you know where you are right now?”

Kaveh looked around. The machinery in this hospital room was distinctly Fontainian, he had never seen something like that in Bimarstan or Gandharva Ville before. This room, and by extension most of Fontaine, smelled like a fresh spring of water. Kaveh had to admit, the architecture in Fontaine was fascinating. It was comforting to know that his mother had seen that beauty and had contributed to it.

“Fontaine,” he answered. “I assume this is a hospital?”

The doctor nodded and jotted something down on her clipboard and paper. Kaveh couldn’t see what she was writing.

“Do you how you got here?” the doctor asked kindly.

Kaveh paused for a moment to think. “I… I don’t know. I had just gotten home from a day at the Akademiya but fell asleep because I was so tired. I woke up because I had forgotten to buy groceries and my mother had gone to buy them instead. So I went out to buy them instead so she could rest, but instead, I’m here,” Kaveh answered. “But this isn’t Sumeru, this isn’t my Akademiya uniform, and I don’t know where my mother is. How did I get here?”

“I’ll answer that in a second, Kaveh,” the doctor responded. She smiled kindly. “What is your mother’s name?”

“Faranak.”

The doctor nodded and wrote something down again. Then, she excused herself and quickly disappeared out the door with the promise that she’d be back in a few minutes.

Kaveh stayed sitting and looked out the window. Why was he in Fontaine? And why was he here by himself?

A few minutes later, the doctor came back. “Kaveh, I have one final question. Where is your mother now?”

“She’s…” Kaveh looked down at his mourning clothes. He looked around the room, to Fontaine. Beginning to tear up again, he looked down. “She’s gone. She’s not here anymore.”

Then, it began to make sense. He had attended the funeral this morning. When he got back to the hotel, he must have fallen asleep. But it all seemed so real.

There was something else that seemed to be slipping from Kaveh’s memory. “How long have I been here? In the hospital, I mean,” Kaveh asked quickly in panic.

“Less than an hour. Someone from the market brought you here. They said that you ‘talked about needing to find your mother soon so you could finish your homework in time’ and that ‘cheese has been expensive lately.’ They paid for your groceries in full and brought you here,” the doctor explained. “He’s outside waiting with your items. Before you leave, I must talk to you about what we have found and why I asked you those questions.”

Kaveh nodded solemnly. Was it really all so serious? It was a memory of his mother in a period of mourning, a bad dream at most. But if it was just a dream, why were the groceries real? Why were other, real people involved?

 

The stranger from the market stood up immediately upon seeing Kaveh. They seemed relieved that Kaveh was alright.

Kaveh was looking down at his shoes as he slowly walked out. Not watching where he was going.

“How are you feeling, kid?” the stranger asked. Kaveh noticed they had a very soft voice, one that could ensure Kaveh would sleep safe and sound. It reminded Kaveh of his mother. The nights of Kaveh curling into a ball in his bed while his mother would sing softly. Back when she still had the strength to sing.

Kaveh looked up, eager to see his mother, but instead looked straight into the eyes of the stranger. It took a few seconds to register the sight of the stranger, rather than his mother’s blonde hair or her red eyes. The same ones that Kaveh had.

The stranger was an older man with hair that was beginning to grey. He was holding a few bags, probably Kaveh’s groceries. Kaveh sighed quietly in awe. The man must have had a kind soul.

Kaveh smiled weakly. “I’m alright, thank you so much for bringing me here,” he mumbled. He wasn’t quite alright though.

The doctor had informed Kaveh that he had developed “loneliness syndrome,” an ailment in which the patient’s lines between their imagination and reality become blurred. The patient will become unable to distinguish between their dreams and the truth, often acting on the premise of their dreams. Loneliness syndrome typically resulted as a response to great loss.

Kaveh’s mother… Kaveh missed her deeply. Who else would sit with him until he fell asleep? Encourage him to draw palaces and then build them later in life? Buy him building blocks? She had done so much for Kaveh, even in her grief. Kaveh held nothing but love and respect for her.

Interrupting Kaveh’s thoughts, the stranger spoke again. “Here are your groceries. I’ve paid for them in full,” the stranger beamed. “Do you want me to help you carry them home?”

Kaveh shook his head. “Thank you, but no. I’ll be alright.” Kaveh smiled and took the groceries.

The stranger kept a close eye on Kaveh until he took a turn out of the stranger’s sight. The hotel Kaveh and… was he here by himself? Anyway, the hotel was only a block or two away from the hospital.

As Kaveh walked, he had a sinking feeling that his troubles weren’t done for the day. He thought back on it. The funeral for his mother was that morning. She and Kaveh’s stepfather had been killed in an aquabus accident while travelling back from a remote area of Fontaine. They had gone on a trip with the intention of inspecting the area and potentially building a proper library and school for the small group that lived there. The aquabus’ auto-navigation mechanic had malfunctioned and guided the aquabus into a trail that had been damaged. Mounds of rubble blocked the path and the aquabus had charged straight into it. Kaveh’s mother and stepfather faced immediate death.

Clutching the bags of groceries close to his chest, Kaveh quickened his pace. With this, it could look like he had just gotten held up in the busy marketplace. That way Alhaitham wouldn’t worry. Alhaitham could just assume Kaveh wasn’t used to Fontaine’s crowds.

That’s when Kaveh finally remembered he wasn’t in Fontaine alone. Alhaitham had come with him, not only to make sure Kaveh was alright, but also because his mother and Kaveh’s mother had been friends in their Akademiya days.

According to an old journal entry Kaveh had found, both Alhaitham’s mother and Faranak were quiet people. Faranak could often be found drawing or sketching, while Alhaitham’s mother would be found reading. Both kept to themselves until Faranak met Kaveh’s father. From then on, Faranak seemed more social. Eventually, Alhaitham’s mother and father had met. Faranak and her then-boyfriend were like Alhaitham’s father’s wingmen. When Alhaitham’s parents got together, Faranak and Alhaitham’s mother began to bond and became friends.

Alhaitham had found an old box that belonged to his mother, it contained three things: a photo with her and Faranak, probably from one of the oldest models of the Kamera, and two necklaces. In the box was the label for Faranak. One was a long gold necklace with a red gem encased in a gold locket. The locket was in the shape of half a heart. The other half was silver, contained an emerald-green gem, and belonged to Alhaitham’s mother. On the back of the old photo was a handwritten note.

I have managed to save enough to buy us matching necklaces, Faranak! This will be given to you when both of our sons have reached schooling age. I know you have plans to enrol your child in the Akademiya, as do I, just as we were classmates during our Akademiya years. Here’s to many years ahead of us! There was a signature on the bottom left of the page, but it had become smudged to the point of unreadability. On the bottom right, there was a date, the year indicating the picture was from over 20 years ago. It must have been from just before she and Alhaitham’s father passed. Kaveh had asked Alhaitham to bring the box with him to Fontaine, although Alhaitham was already planning to do so without Kaveh’s request.

Kaveh hurried to get to the room, formulating a plan as he walked. He could just pretend he had trouble finding his way around the market and trouble coming back, moving slower than usual with grief. Kaveh switched the groceries to his left hand so he could unlock the door with his right. But when Kaveh reached into his pocket, the room key was nowhere to be found.

Under his breath, Kaveh cursed and began to panic. He couldn’t have left it at the doctor’s or at the market, right? Kaveh wished he could hand Mehrak the heavy groceries, as he usually did…

Wait, where was Mehrak? Kaveh was sure he had Mehrak earlier today. There’s no way Kaveh could have left Mehrak behind.

Kaveh was so invested in searching his pockets that he hadn’t realized the door to the hotel room had been opened. Alhaitham was standing in the doorway with a concerned expression.

“Are you alright? You were gone for a while,” Alhaitham asked, taking the bags from Kaveh so he could sit down.

“I’m fine,” Kaveh mumbled. “It just took me a while because I wasn’t used to how things are in Fontaine. Did you know that tax here is applied after purchasing items and not before?” he asked as he lay down on the bed, exhausted.

Alhaitham shook his head and remained silent, crouching down to put the groceries into the hotel room’s mini fridge. Kaveh stayed still and watched Alhaitham.

Ever since Kaveh had received the news of his mother's passing, he’d been spending a lot of time with Alhaitham. It comforted him in a way nothing else could. Alhaitham never asked questions, but would always be ready to listen with open arms any time Kaveh needed to ramble. He understood Kaveh in a way that Tighnari and Cyno couldn’t. Sometimes, Kaveh wanted to ask how Alhaitham had learned to live after losing both his parents at such a young age, but Kaveh kept quiet.

Kaveh had seen Alhaitham be gentle before, but nothing like how he had been in Kaveh’s mourning. Offering to take responsibility for all of Kaveh’s expenses with no owing involved, spending hours with Kaveh wrapped in his arms, and always being a reminder that Kaveh was not alone. That Kaveh had a shoulder to lean on, a person to turn to. A person who understood him.

“I almost forgot, there’s a younger boy that asked for you. He’s downstairs in the hotel lobby.” Alhaitham turned around. “Something to do with Mehrak.”

Kaveh immediately got up. It seemed like Alhaitham didn’t know where Mehrak had been either.

“What does the boy look like?” Kaveh asked.

“Blond hair, blue eyes, freckles…” Alhaitham explained. “He’s wearing a diving suit. He was also wearing a helmet when he asked me where you were, but later he removed it when I was leaving. The boy didn’t ask too long ago, he’s probably still here.”

Kaveh thanked Alhaitham and hurried down the stairs, too anxious to take the elevator. By the time Kaveh reached the ground floor, he was out of breath. Luckily, the lobby was almost empty. It was easy to spot the boy, his head was turned away from Kaveh. He was sitting on a couch, facing the opposite direction. Kaveh walked up behind him silently.

“Excuse me,” Kaveh began. “Are you the one who asked for me?”

The boy jumped and turned around with fright, but relaxed when he focused on Kaveh’s face. He stood up and nodded. “My name’s Freminet. I believe this toolbox belongs to you?” Freminet asked, pointing to Mehrak, who was placed on the table in front of him.

Kaveh immediately walked over to the table and sat down on the couch opposite Freminet. He wanted to make sure Mehrak was alright. Mehrak had a few new dents and a large scratch. Kaveh lifted up Mehrak to take a closer look and immediately noticed that Mehrak was far easier to lift than he remembered.

Freminet’s face dropped slightly. “When I found Mehrak, it was already damaged and almost empty. Did you keep anything valuable in there?” Freminet asked.

Kaveh shook his head. “Just a few tools and other supplies for when I’d get inspiration on the go,” Kaveh explained, stopping when he noticed Freminet’s confused expression. “Oh, I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself! My name is Kaveh, I’m an architect back in Sumeru. Mehrak is my automatic toolbox and we’re in Fontaine for… personal reasons.”

“Oh, you…” Freminet began, noticing Kaveh’s mourning clothes. “You look a lot like her.”

“Her?”

“She was from Sumeru too. With blonde hair and red eyes like yours. I don’t remember her name, but she was very kind,” Freminet answered. “Her name was kind of like mine. Fra- No, Far…” Freminet trailed off.

“Faranak?” Kaveh asked in disbelief.

“Oh, yes! That’s it,” Freminet exclaimed.

“How did you know her?” Kaveh questioned curiously.

“I work with clockwork a lot, but once I was struggling with keeping a clockwork machine’s directions from going inverted. She and her husband were nearby and she helped me fix the issue,” Freminet explained. “She said she knew how because she was also an architect back in Sumeru. You’re a lot like her. Do architects in Sumeru work with a lot of technology?”

Kaveh nodded, gesturing to Mehrak. “While it’s not the top priority, many architects find themselves working with machines once in a while. Especially when dealing with the ruins in Sumeru’s desert,” Kaveh explained, then looked down to hide his watery eyes. “Faranak was my mother.”

Freminet’s eyes softened and he nodded, seeming to understand in a way so many others at the funeral could not. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” Freminet voiced quietly and slowly. The statement seemed to affect Freminet deeply.

Kaveh looked away, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. There was something to Freminet’s words that stood out to Kaveh, but he wasn’t sure exactly what.

Kaveh didn’t look up until he heard the sound of metal clinking objects against each other. He turned to the source of the sound and saw Freminet holding out a bag of metal tools.

“These are for you,” Freminet began. “Faranak gave me them when she helped me fix that clockwork toy. She mentioned how I was a lot like her son and how she wished she could send you some as well. I already have a full set of tools, so I’ve never used these. I wanted to attend the funeral but was… uh, assigned elsewhere.”

Kaveh carefully took the tools, inspecting them. His old tools were no longer carried by Mehrak and Kaveh could feel himself beginning to tear up once again. He closed his eyes and held the bag of tools tightly. “Thank you, Freminet.”

“I’m really sorry about your tools. And Mehrak,” Freminet apologized. “I couldn’t find your old ones.”

“It’s alright, you have nothing to apologize for,” Kaveh assured. He opened up Mehrak and put the bag of tools inside, then closed up Mehrak’s front panel. “How does that feel, Mehrak? Heavy?”

Mehrak was silent but still smiled. Kaveh frowned. Normally, Mehrak would’ve responded with a happy “beep-boop!” by now.

Freminet tilted his head to the side. “Does Mehrak talk?”

“Oh, no. Nothing complicated like full sentences. But Mehrak usually responds with beeps and boops.”

“Did you ever install a language module?” Freminet asked.

Kaveh paused for a moment. “Mmmm… I don’t think so. There’s a machine core from the ruins of the desert and a display for Mehrak’s face. Mehrak’s powered by my vision, so unless there’s something wrong with my vision, it shouldn’t be a power problem,” Kaveh answered. “If there is damage to the machine core, I hope that it’s minimal.”

“I could add a language module if you’d like. Not a complete one like the Gardes around Fontaine. Just a simpler one for beeps and boops,” Freminet offered. “It might be a bit different from what Mehrak used to be, but it’ll work.”

“Really?” Kaveh asked, frantically searching his pockets. “That would be amazing, but I think I left my mora back in the room…”

Freminet’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “There’s no need to pay me,” he insisted. “Take this as a gift. I should have Mehrak’s problems fixed by tomorrow morning. When are you leaving?”

“In two days,” Kaveh answered. “Are you sure this isn’t too much work for you?”

Freminet shook his head and stood up. “It’s the least I can do for you,” Freminet assured. “And for her.” Freminet put on his diving helmet. “I’ll do my best.”

 

Just the next morning, Kaveh woke up to Alhaitham lightly shaking him.

“The boy is at the door,” Alhaitham whispered softly. “He’s asking for you.”

Kaveh groggily got up and stumbled to the door. Freminet was wearing his diving helmet once again and was holding Mehrak. As Kaveh came close, Mehrak used its happy expression and let out an excited series of beeps and boops.

“-... -. .-.. --- --.. -- .... -. -- .-. --. .... ---”

Notes:

Hello hello! I’ve had the idea for this fic since the event came out in 4.2, but I hadn’t fully formed the story until now. I hope you enjoy it!

As is coded in the original event, Mehrak’s statements are coded in Morse Code and then Caesar Cipher with a right shift of one. I’ve decided to leave out translating to French, so the decoded text will be in English.

As I’m still relatively new to fanfic writing, some parts of the fic such as characterization/pacing/depth may be inconsistent at some parts. I’m always open to any and all feedback, whether it be negative or positive.

Finally, thank you to my beta reader, Roseypotato.