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He’s always been a sucker for a good wedding. It’s the combination of joy and romance that almost never fails to make happy tears spring to his eyes. He’s not ashamed to admit that even the bullshit proposals on The Bachelor have made him tear up on occasion, and Hen simply talking about Karen gets him a little choked up. So Maddie’s wedding to Chimney is basically lethal for Buck. He doesn’t even attempt to hold it together, with bright eyes and a big watery smile, his heart couldn’t feel more full than it does today.
Maddie and Chimney have fought for each other time and time again. Hell, getting here to Wedding Day Part II was a fight in and of itself. A small and intimate celebration at home was the original plan, so maybe it’s fate that it’s the wedding they got. But then again, everything about Maddie and Chimney feels like fate to Buck. This is the day they deserve; celebrating a commitment worth any fight, surrounded by everyone who loves them.
Chimney used to give him shit for being a firefighter stereotype. He’d complain with a controlled level of resentment, that women could look right through him but then stop and stare at Buck. When Eddie joined the 118, all Chimney could do was laugh. He's not sure anyone has ever turned so many heads...and this is LA. In reality, it’s Buck who’s eternally envious of Chimney. The life he’s created? The love he has? Buck would give anything to have his own version of it. And Maddie looks so beautiful, glowing from within with a sense of happiness and contentment that would infuriate him if he didn’t love her so damn much.
When they vow to go to the ends of the Earth for each other, to love each other through their worst days, it’s not shocking that the declarations don’t make Buck think of Tommy. He may not be the best at relationships but he’s not a crazy person; they just met, and they know almost nothing about each other. Everything about it is new.
It is a little enlightening that their vows make him think of Eddie. It’s immediate, the way it washes over him. This devotion Maddie is pledging, this unwavering commitment is so familiar that it nearly knocks Buck on his ass. But it’s less of a revelation and more of a comprehension. It’s not as though the skies have cleared and Buck suddenly sees his best friend differently after all these years. Instead, it’s like Maddie and Chimney are just putting it all into words so Buck can finally understand what it is he’s always felt. That something that has lived silently in the stillness of small moments between them: the way Eddie has always been his soft place to land. The thing that lives quietly in the way they take care of each other both on and off the clock. And the way they have intertwined their lives so much that their names roll off the tongue as one, ‘Buck’nEddie’. But it also lives loudly in the grandest of gestures. This is the person he’d break down doors for, the person he’d dig out with his bare hands.
This person with his warm eyes and easy, crooked grin, is the person he can’t live without.
There have been times he’d thought he’d have to: when his lawsuit against the LAFD tore a rift between them, when forty feet of earth kept them apart, when Buck found out what Eddie’s blood tastes like. He hadn’t known then what it meant—the sheer devastation he felt at the idea of losing Eddie—but now, he can recall how Hen acted at the explosion at Karen’s lab, or how Chimney crossed the country for Maddie, and how Athena suited up and walked into fire for Bobby.
And suddenly, today of all days, it just makes sense.
Eddie Diaz is a lot of things: a son, a brother, a father, a nephew, an Army Vet, a widower, a firefighter. He’s got a pretty good golf swing and a brutal left hook. He's a little bit of a technophobe, a secret telenovela enthusiast, and is becoming (kind of) a decent cook. He’s Buck’s best friend; the man he trusts with his life. Eddie's standing there, watching the newlyweds make their way down the makeshift aisle they’ve created in their living room with a watery, cheek-aching smile on his face, and all Buck can do is stare. Because really, what took him so long?
Buck quickly gets pulled away for pictures, losing Eddie in the madness of the family photos and cocktail hour. It’s not until he’s getting a hug from Christopher, the same hug he’s been getting since the kid was seven, that he realizes that he hasn’t seen his best friend for what feels like hours.
When he finally finds him, Eddie is sitting alone in the darkened living room, watching the party from a distance. He looks lost in thought like the gears in his head are turning a mile a minute. His face is a far cry from the overwhelming joy that had radiated off it the last time Buck laid eyes on him. So he approaches him slowly, a glass of champagne in each hand.
Eddie’s head shoots up and he hears someone approaching, like he’s surprised anyone has found him. His mouth quirks into the smallest of smiles when he sees who it is and offers him a soft, “Hi.”
“Are you okay?” Buck asks softly, matching Eddie’s quiet tone and passing him a glass of champagne as he sits beside him. Eddie’s eyes are bright and despite his best efforts, he hasn’t been able to wipe away all evidence that something is bothering him.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” he shrugs in a way that’s clearly supposed to be effortless and cool but comes off the complete opposite. Buck bites the inside of his cheek, controlling a smile.
“Eddie, people who are ‘fine’ don’t run away from weddings to sit by themselves.”
“I didn’t run away from anything. I just needed some air.”
“And yet, you’re inside.”
Eddie sighs and takes a sip of his champagne. “I needed a minute.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Buck nods and leans back in his chair, taking a sip of champagne and loosening his tie. He spots Bobby holding Athena closely on the edge of the dancefloor, a content smile on his face as they sway. During his search for Eddie, Buck had passed Hen and Karen in a conversation with his parents, but it looks like they too have now joined group dancing. Again Buck thinks that his heart could not feel more full than it does today.
“You see yourself doin’ that?” Eddie asks finally, jutting his chin towards where Chimney is twirling Maddie in the distance. “Getting married, I mean?”
“Yeah, why not?” Buck shrugs, smiling as he watches the couple. They’re sitting just far enough away for the music to not completely carry but he can hear the soft melody of a slow-dance ballad. The nonchalance of his answer makes Eddie chuckle, which is something Buck has always loved doing, but right now, with Eddie looking the way he does it makes Buck feel like a fucking God.
He pulls his eyes away from the couple to look beside him again. Eddie’s face is lit softly by the string lights in the distant courtyard. Anyone else might think that the glassiness of Eddie’s eyes was leftover from the ceremony or too much champagne, but Buck knows better because Buck knows Eddie.
“Would you get married again?”
He watches as Eddie takes a deep breath and lets his head fall. He seems to think about the question for a moment, fidgeting with the champagne flute in his hand. “It would be different if I was gonna do it again, you know?"
Buck does know. He knows Eddie struggles with balancing his past: with loving Shannon but knowing that he married her because he felt an obligation to do so. His past is filled with asterisks about her—loving her and losing her—and because of that, he has a complicated relationship with commitment. But Buck also knows that his best friend is a self-proclaimed nester who wants someone to come home to more than he’ll ever admit. Eddie’s not afraid of commitment, he craves it.
Buck’s not sure how long they sit there, side by side, drinking champagne in the skeleton of a wedding ceremony. He thinks he could probably sit there amongst all these empty chairs until the last call or the final dance or however you end wedding receptions…
“I’m jealous,” Eddie says the words like a confession: softly and full of regret. It makes Buck’s head turn and for the first time since he sat down, Eddie’s wide eyes find his. “I didn’t know what was eating at me. It was driving me crazy because I’m not—I’m really proud of you, Buck.”
Oh.
“I think it’s great, I really do. I’m so happy for you and Tommy.”
“...But?”
“Tommy saving the day with Chim, and then watching them get married today...it all just clicked.” He looks away again, pushing a hand through his hair.
“You’re jealous that Tommy saved Chimney?” He asks slowly. It had been pretty badass; Tommy’s heroic (and kind of theatrical) rescue. But Eddie’s never been the kind of guy who chases the glory. He’s not the kind of firefighter who brags about a rescue count or wants to be featured on the evening news. The question makes Eddie huff a self-deprecating laugh. He moves to stand, brushing his palms on his dress pants as he does.
“You know what? Forget I said anything." He tosses back the rest of his drink and steps away from where Buck is still sitting, eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Look, Chris’ has been begging me to bring him to that new place that opened up a few weeks ago; that mini golf arcade nightmare?” He changes the subject, looking everywhere except for the person he’s talking to. “I’m bringing him and a few of his friends next weekend if you’re interested.”
Buck stands abruptly as if he’s afraid Eddie might actually run away from him. “Eddie, can we please—”
“You’re happy, right?” He asks suddenly, interrupting Buck. "Tommy makes you happy, he’s—he treats you right?”
“Yeah, he treats me fine but Eddie—”
“Good. Great.” He says sharply and turns back towards the party, leaving Buck standing alone.
It feels a little bit like an out-of-body experience with his heart in his throat, beating a million beats a second when he calls out, “You’re jealous of Tommy," to his friend's retreating form. He doesn’t ask it like a question because it isn’t one. He watches Eddie stop and turn slowly. It would be maddeningly beautiful, the image of his best friend backlit by the wedding reception, if all sight and sound hadn't just dropped from existence the way it had. Suddenly all Buck can see is Eddie.
“You’re jealous of Tommy because you want…because he’s with me?”
“Buck,” Eddie breathes, “Please don’t do this.”
“Then talk to me.”
He takes a step back towards Buck and clasps a hand on his shoulder. “You are my best friend,” he says decisively. His breath is warm and champagne-laced across Buck’s face. Eddie is always warm, Buck's mind supplies. "I’m not going to blow that up because I’m—because I got swept up in a wedding. I’m not going to be that guy.”
He steps away again, the warmth leaving with him. Buck wants to chase it. He feels increasingly crazed at the notion that Eddie might have felt exactly what he did. The idea that Eddie could have heard Maddie and Chimney’s vows and thought of Buck the way Buck immediately thought of him.
“I’ll figure it out.”
“Figure it out with me,” he pleads, sounding far more desperate than he probably ever has. But Eddie just shakes his head, eyes glassy all over again. Buck's eyes follow the line of his neck as he swallows thickly.
“You’re happy. You said he makes you happy."
“Sure but—”
“That’s all I want.”
“What about what I want?”
“Don’t,” he breathes. There’s a flash of offense across his face as though he had been slapped. (As though Buck would ever slap such a fucking beautiful face.) “Don’t do that.”
He thinks, for one insane moment, that he should just say it. That they should just cut the shit. He could look Eddie in the eye right now and admit simply, ‘I’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure you’re in love with me too. I think we’ve been in love with each other for years.’
It would be crazy and kind of romantic, but also so fucking terrifying because it would change everything whether they wanted it to or not. He thinks of Tommy, and then of Marisol, and decides he too won’t ‘be that guy’. If Eddie's not going to get 'swept up in a wedding' neither will he.
“You and me, what we have means too much to just not talk about it, Eddie.”
“Does it have to be tonight? At your sister’s wedding?” His eyes are wide, almost terrified, and sad as he pleads.
“No, but it feels like you’re going to walk back to that party and never mention it again.” He can hear the crack in his voice almost as clearly as he can hear his pulse in his ears.
Bobby finds them then, in a silent stand-off amongst empty chairs. “Everything okay over here?”
Buck snaps back to reality first, nodding and taking a deep breath as he quickly slips a smile onto his face.
“Just heading back to the party, Cap,” Eddie adds, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning away from Buck again. They walk back towards the courtyard silently but side-by-side, their shoulders brushing the way they always do. He knows Bobby’s watchful eyes are still trained on their backs but Buck’s mind is too preoccupied to care. He’s reeling, replaying every word, every hesitation, every breath from Eddie.
Whatever unspoken thing is between them, Buck does not need to hear it right now. He hears it every day, he remembers, in the big and small, the quiet and the loud. Turning to Eddie one last time, he wraps a hand around his forearm, “Hey, no matter what, it’s always going to be you and me, okay?”
Eddie nods, holding his gaze for a moment too long before disappearing into the crowd.
Buck actively dodges Bobby's gaze after that, grabbing another glass of champagne and trying to swallow his heart back into his chest.