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“What did you say we needed again?”
“You really weren’t listening, were you? I don’t need anything. I just really like IKEA.”
Feng Xin gaped at his boyfriend, who only shot him a smug little grin back. “Seriously? Didn’t you wake me up and tell me we had to get… some kind of… coffee table?”
He had, but only to coax Feng Xin out of bed. Besides, Mu Qing wasn’t about to admit to that. “Must’ve been your delusions. They’re getting worse, I see.”
“You…”
“Glorious, beautiful, amazing, lovely, kind boyfriend? The best in the world? I know. Let’s go!”
Feng Xin didn’t reply, but Mu Qing could see a hint of a smile on his lips. Wordlessly, he grabbed Mu Qing’s hand and let the other lead him into IKEA.
The automatic doors slid open, allowing the two men into the most beautiful and perfect place in the world. At least, according to Mu Qing.
He took a step away from Feng Xin, spreading his arms widely. “So, where to go first? Kitchen, or living room? Maybe bedroom? And we have to look around where the plants are before we go.”
“Naturally,” Feng Xin replied. He seemed to be weighing his options. “I vote… kitchen.”
“Excellent decision,” Mu Qing said and took hold of his hand again to begin his march up the stairs to where the kitchen display was.
“You really didn’t say we needed anything?” Feng Xin questioned again as they climbed.
“Why would I lie to you?” Mu Qing rolled his eyes before plastering on a fake frown. “That’s like kicking a puppy.”
Feng Xin made an adorably defeated sound. “You definitely lied.”
“Feng Xin. Are you insinuating that I would kick a puppy?”
“You’re changing the subject on purpose.”
“Oh, look! We’re here.”
Feng Xin poked his side and Mu Qing let out a laugh, walking into one of the kitchen layouts.
“Rate this out of ten,” he told Feng Xin, gesturing to the dark wooden cabinets that served as part of the showroom.
“Why, will you buy them for me?” Feng Xin teased. He gave the cabinets a critical look. “Hmm… I’ll give them a seven. The ones we have are better.”
“How so?”
“Because I chose them,” was Feng Xin’s smug response. Mu Qing snorted.
“Sure, okay. What do you rate the entire kitchen layout?”
“Let’s see… maybe a five. Or a six.”
“Oh? Really? Explain.”
“Well. I think the way we set up our own is a lot better,” Feng Xin told him.
“The right answer goes to… Feng Xin!” Mu Qing turned to survey their surroundings. “Okay, then. How should we fix this?”
“Fix? The IKEA kitchen layout?”
Mu Qing raised his eyebrows and smiled.
:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:
“Have you two never been inside an IKEA? You’re adults, you should know better!”
Mu Qing tried for his best innocent and apologetic face. “We’re so sorry! I just wanted to move some things around and see how it might look in our new apartment. I didn’t realize we weren’t allowed to, please don’t kick us out.”
Feng Xin gave the security guard a pleading look from his place standing behind Mu Qing. With his softer features and naturally kinder eyes, it seemed to be working a bit better than it was on his partner’s sharper face.
The security guard loosened up slightly, nodding at Feng Xin. “Mind yourselves, alright? I don’t want to have to come and warn you again. There is an appropriate way to act in public spaces,” she said sternly, directing most of her speech towards Mu Qing, apparently having decided that he was the mastermind. He tried not to let his expression slip into a smug smirk.
“Thank you! I hope you have a good day,” Feng Xin told her warmly. She gave a curt nod, then turned to leave.
The moment she was out of sight, Mu Qing grabbed onto Feng Xin’s arm and buried his face in his chest, trying to muffle his laughter.
“That is so not funny. Do you know how humiliating it would’ve been to get kicked out of IKEA? Then where would we go when you wanted to shop for furniture?”
Mu Qing wiped a tear from his eye, gasping for breath as he straightened up. “It was at least a little bit funny. Oh, you’re just so cute when you’re taking a bullet for me. Did it hurt your pride to make that face? I’m gonna think about your expression forever. I’m a little mad that she only trusted you, though. You and your adorable trustworthy face.”
Feng Xin turned a pleasing shade of scarlet and Mu Qing bit back another round of laughter. “Alright, I’m sorry! That was mostly my fault.”
“Mostly?” Feng Xin sputtered. “This was
your
idea.”
“I know, and what a wonderful idea it was. Wanna go down to the bedroom section?” Mu Qing asked.
Feng Xin pretended to be annoyed for another few seconds, but it wasn’t long before he nodded. Mu Qing grinned and nudged Feng Xin in the direction of the displays.
“So…”
“Oh, no.”
“Please! It’ll be so funny, I promise.”
Feng Xin shook his head. “Funny to who? You?”
“And you. You’ll laugh too, I swear.”
“Fine, fine. What is it?”
The pair reached their destination and Mu Qing threw a quick glance around their surroundings. “Okay, okay. Let’s go over there.”
He picked a bedroom at random and walked over. It was a pretty setup, clean and small, with the walls painted a soft lavender and the bed heaped with pastel pinks, greens, and purples. Feng Xin made a quiet, confused noise before following him.
As they approached, Mu Qing began to raise his voice. “Seriously? Our son would hate these colors!”
A passerby gave him an odd look and walked by a little faster. It took all of his best effort not to laugh at the stranger’s expression.
Feng Xin still looked slightly confused, so Mu Qing raised his eyebrow and continued. “I mean, do you ever even spend time with the kid? This is really your first choice in bedroom setup?”
The other seemed to be catching on, clearing his throat before saying, “What are you talking about? Hong-er’s favorite color is purple. That’s what he told me!”
Hearing the childhood nickname of Hua Cheng startled Mu Qing, but not enough to make him crack. “Are you kidding? His favorite color is red. He must’ve just said that to appease you!” he retorted, turning his back to face the bookshelf. The mother and child in the bedroom display exchanged glances before hurrying out.
“Appease me? Please! Why would he need to appease his favorite dad?! You’re just jealous that he likes me more than he likes you!”
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Wanna know what he told me? He said he only told you he likes purple because you kept telling him that it was okay for boys to like all kinds of colors, but his favorite really is red! You told him not to be shy, but you scared him!”
“Stop lying! You’re… you’re filling Hong-er’s head with lies and you’re breaking this whole family apart!” Feng Xin shouted.
Mu Qing finally couldn’t take it, doubling over and laughing. A group of teenagers gawked at the pair, but he ignored them, wheezing and clutching his stomach. From behind him, he could hear Feng Xin’s own laughter.
“Ah, shit! Let’s go, Mu Qing, run!”
He barely had the time to say “huh?” before Feng Xin grabbed his hand and sprinted off. He caught a glimpse of the security guard from earlier rounding the corner, on the verge of spotting them, before he was spurred into motion.
They sprinted from bedroom to lighting, taking the shortcut through rugs and nearly running over a family in bathrooms. After a few more maneuvers, they ended up in the children’s section.
There, the couple came to a halt, trying not to scare the two kids and their tired-looking parents roaming around the section. Mu Qing steadied himself, planting his hands on the sides of a bin full of stuffed animals, simultaneously gasping for breath and wheezing with laughter. “I can’t believe you invoked the name ‘Hong-er’. Hua Cheng would kill you.”
Feng Xin gave him a lopsided grin. “As long as he never finds out, I’m safe.”
“I’ll totally tell him.”
“Then I’ll tell him that you said I scared him!” Feng Xin replied.
Mu Qing nearly fell over with his snorts. “Oh my god! ‘You’re breaking our family apart’... that was priceless!”
One of the two kids wandered over to stick their grubby hands in the pile of stuffed animals. Mu Qing lowered his voice and moved away to lean against a wall, still trying to catch his breath.
Feng Xin walked up to him, holding a small gray stuffed animal in his hands. “Look. It looks just like you.”
He studied the misshapen stuffed cat with its gray-black fur. “Cut the sh-” he started, then cast a glance at the child behind Feng Xin. “Cut your silliness. That looks nothing like me.”
His partner grinned at him, holding it up next to Mu Qing’s face. “Are you sure? It’s kind of cute. I’ll buy it for you.”
Mu Qing considered this, then nodded. “Deal. No take-backs.”
“Of course not. Now, come on. Let’s go get some frozen yogurt before that security guard catches up with us and banishes us from IKEAs all over the world.”
“I’d like to see them try .”
Mu Qing let Feng Xin place an arm around his shoulder, the fluff of the stuffed cat brushing against his cheek, wrapping his own arms around Feng Xin’s side. Together, they walked towards the food court, stomachs still clenched with laughter.